


My First Love Story

by Tragicgay



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band), K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band), bts, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Kim Namjoon | RM, Clumsy Kim Namjoon | RM, Drag Queen Kim Seokjin | Jin, Eventual Smut, F/F, First Love, Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Gangsters, Gay Jeon Jungkook, Gay Panic, Homophobic Language, I just realized every relationship has a "Kim" oops?, Jeon Jungkook Has Social Anxiety, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Kim Yoohyeon, M/M, Oblivious Kim Namjoon | Rap Monster, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Suicide Attempt, Sexual Harassment, Shy Jeon Jungkook, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Smitten Jeon Jungkook, Smut, Suicide in the past, YouTuber Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, namkook
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-04-01 11:06:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 43
Words: 205,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13996965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tragicgay/pseuds/Tragicgay
Summary: Before his brain could stop him he blurted out his one singular thought. “Thighs..”_____Or that one time Jungkook fell for an older clumsy dimpled boy and realized he wanted his first love to be his only love





	1. A Very Gay Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first BTS fanfic please let me know if writing this is worth anyone's time!!!
> 
> ***Please note. I actually have both dyslexia AND dyscalculia so if words are wrong or ages and timelines are off, that's why. It's hard editing this myself bc of it so I hope you understand ❤

Jungkook met _him_ five years ago. It was a few hours after school let out and he was just getting home after hanging out with his best friend Jimin. He was about to reach into his backpack for the keys to the apartment when an older boy was pushed out a door a few apartments down. Jungkook yelped as he saw the boy hit the floor hard.

“Ah _fuck!”_ The older boy held his ankle as he continued to swear under his breath. 

Jungkook wasn’t sure what to do but instinctively ran over to help the boy. He finally got a better look at the boy and he almost wished he didn’t. His skin was tan and he had long toned legs (that he could clearly see from the fact that the boy was only in his boxers and a T-shirt). Before his brain could stop him he blurted out his one singular thought. “Thighs..” 

He could feel his face go red when he saw the confused look on the older boy. Jungkook immediately started apologizing as the boy burst out laughing. Jungkook was fifteen and he was mortified.

At age sixteen Jungkook found out that _thighs_ boy moved back home and was half brothers with the kid who originally lived in that apartment with his father. He didn’t see much of him since that first embarrassing meeting but when he did he smiled and waved at Jungkook. He didn’t want to admit it but he melted at the older boy’s smile. His handsome smile and adorable dimples were becoming Jungkook’s weakness whether he liked it or not.

At age seventeen Jungkook became friends with Kim Taehyung, the half brother of _thighs_ boy. Taehyung also had tan skin and long legs. There was no doubting those brothers were beautiful, model-like even. But they didn’t seem close. Taehyung didn’t bring up his half brother much in conversations, so the few rare moments he did Jungkook cherished. And like the embarrassing mess he was he actually compiled a list of everything he knew.

 

  1. He is three years older
  2.  Raps and writes his own music
  3.  Is clumsy as shit and broke their coffee maker three times since moving in so he’s banned from the kitchen
  4. Apparently likes cute things



 

When learning number four Jungkook thought to himself, “Well, I’m cute.”

It was then when he finally admitted to himself that he definitely had a crush on _thighs_ boy.

At age eighteen Jungkook had alcohol for the first time. He and Jimin were invited to a classmate’s party. Upon arrival they realized it was that classmate’s brother’s college party. They danced and drank and it was all fun and games until Jimin puked all over a girl’s pair of heels. As Jungkook sobered up while walking him and Jimin back to his place he came out to him. Unexpectedly crying he told Jimin how confusing it was but that it felt right, like he was finally home.

Jungkook figured Jimin would forget all about it because of how trashed he was. Little did he know Jimin sobered up the second Jungkook started crying and remembered every word. The next morning both he and Jimin were nursing a nasty hangover when Jimin told him,

“I kinda had a feeling you were gay, Jungkookie.”

He felt so lucky as they both laughed after Jungkook yelled “REALLY?” in reply.

He was thankful to be accepted but it didn’t help with his huge one-sided love for a beautiful boy he still doesn’t know the name of.

At age nineteen Jungkook was moving out. His parents told him he didn’t have to, that he’d save money since the college was close enough. But he stayed firm with his decision. He had found a somewhat decent apartment to share the cost with Jimin. He also got the confirmation that he got the job for a used bookstore he applied to. He knew it was going to be a lot of work but he was more excited than scared.

Jimin had come over to help move boxes along with Jungkook’s brother and father. To be honest Jungkook never realized he had so much stuff. Everything was in boxes but now it was the tiring and tedious process of moving everything outside and inside the truck and out again to their new apartment. He was already exhausted just thinking about it.

They started at 9am and it was already 12pm. They ordered chicken to be delivered and everyone else was sprawled out on the floor declaring it break time. There were only three boxes left and Jungkook knew he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his food if he didn’t take them out now.

“I’m taking these last three boxes out I’ll be right back!“ He called back to the rest and he only got grunts of acknowledgement in return. He laughed as he slid on his shoes ready to return and join them. The boxes were heavy and he slightly, only slightly regretted bringing them out. He got out the door with a bit of struggle but faced another challenge once reaching the elevator.

How the fuck is he going to press the buttons when his stubborn ass decided to carry out three heavy boxes by himself? Jungkook swore at himself as he tried to peak around the boxes to see if there was any way he could safe himself. Just as he was about to call it quits the elevator door opened.

He sighed out in relief. “Oh my god I’m saved.”

Jungkook wasn’t expecting to be responded with laughter and not just any laughter, _his_ laughter. Jungkook nearly choked when the laughs were followed by a question.

“Do you need any help?”

Jungkook was in full on panic mode. “N-no thank you! I don’t want to take up your time.” Except he does but dammit he is always the polite boy.

 Again more laughing. “It’s seriously not a problem. Can I grab the box on top?”

 “Uhh sure.” 

The weight of one less box gave some relief to his sore arms. But it was only a moment before the panic was back.  _Thighs_ boy was smiling wide, dimples showing all while wearing a black tank top. Jungkook’s stomach flipped as he saw those beautifully tan biceps holding the heaviest box with a bit of unsteadiness. He probably should have thought about fact #3 right about now but he was too busy drooling over those arms.

When he locked eyes with his they widened.

“Oh! I know you! You’re friends with Tae, right?” The elevator doors closed.

 “Ah yes.”

 _Thighs_ boy pressed the button to ground floor and leaned against the wall. It was quiet for a moment.

“So, are you moving out?”

“Yeah for college.”

“Ahh.. hmm. Kinda sad that we’re only talking now."

“Yeah..” Jungkook was screaming inside. What sad luck.

“We never introduced ourselves either.”

“Oh uh um I’m Jungkook.”

“I’m Namjoon. Nice to meet you.”


	2. Do I look gay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *gay panic*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in one sitting so beware of bad grammar and misspellings!

How does one attempt to exude gayness without actually looking gay? That is Jungkook’s current dilemma. He looks at himself in the mirror and wonders. His dark brown hair is never styled and always down. He usually prefers comfort over style, sweatshirts being his best friends. Jungkook never thought to pay attention to his outward appearance but ever since he moved out of his parent’s place he’s been wondering if he should.

Jungkook was very much aware that meeting Namjoon on his moving day has everything to do with this. _Namjoon._ He finally knew his name and somehow fell more in love. Namjoon did help with the box that day, he even put it on the truck. Jungkook stayed behind a bit longer to avoid an awkward elevator ride up with him. He knew he’d somehow embarrass himself and he couldn’t handle that much humiliation in one day.

And so he wondered. Could Namjoon tell he was flustered? Did he suspect he was just really shy? Which is a true assumption but he’s not just deathly shy, more like deathly shy and very gay.

He didn’t necessarily want to look straight but being gay in South Korea isn’t something that’s praised by most of the population. It’s a part of his identity he’s proud of now but flaunting it isn’t usually safe. But if he had to choose he’d pick looking gay over looking straight in a heartbeat.

Jungkook was heading to his part-time job at the used bookstore. He was already working up a sweat from the summer’s morning humidity. It’s been a month since he started working there and he truthfully loved it. His supervisor was the son of the couple that owned the store. His name was Seokjin and boy was he handsome (and a bit distracting when you’re trying to alphabetize books). Almost all the other staff were girls. He usually had a hard time befriending girls but instantly clicked with a girl named Yoohyeon. He later found out she was a lesbian and it all made sense.

Yoohyeon was working the morning shift with him and he was grateful. Every time he’s worked with her he ends up learning more gay lingo. Basically everything he knows about the gay scene in South Korea was because of her. In the past she had invited him to go clubbing in Itaewon with her and her girlfriend but he always ended up turning her down. He wasn’t one for tight spaces and strangers grinding on you.

Jungkook made it just in time to clock in. Yoohyeon was already behind the cash register scrolling through Instagram presumably. There was no specific uniform for the bookstore but they did wear dorky vests with a book print on the fabric. Jungkook always wore a button-down shirt since it looked best with the vest. He learned his lesson when he wore an oversized hoodie with the vest over it and god it looked ridiculous. He slid on his vest with his name tag on it and headed out front where Yoohyeon was.

He immediately spotted Seokjin pouring himself coffee from the free coffee dispenser the bookstore offered. The only rule for the customers being; if you spill coffee on it you buy it. And yes it does happen he’s seen it twice in just his three weeks working there.

The handsome supervisor sat down in one of the chairs in the tiny seating area and didn’t look like he was planning to move until lunch break. Jungkook wanted to join him but the perks of being the supervisor was he got to sit down. The cashier got a stool but since Jungkook usually worked the floor he didn’t get much sitting time.

With the bookstore being close to the college they got a lot of curious students. And of course college students would be intrigued with the free coffee. Yoohyeon told him during his first week of training about a sophomore who came in and tried to steal a book that was in english. Turned out the girl was too scared to buy it because it was about lesbians. Jungkook didn’t even know they had books like that. That girl ended up being Yoohyeon’s current girlfriend. Jungkook was jealous of their cute first meeting and wished for one of his own.

It was a slow morning. An old woman came in but she didn’t buy anything and that was a couple hours ago. It was getting close to lunch break when finally another customer arrived. Jungkook went to the back to grab a broom and sweeper so he had something to do for the remainder of time. Just as he was about to walk back to the front he heard Seokjin yell in excitement.

“Namjoon! You haven’t been here in weeks! Where have you been?”

“Yeah sorry I had to finish a track and basically lived in the studio until today.”

Jungkook was frozen in place. He hadn’t seen Namjoon since moving out and was prepared to never have to see him again. He thought fate wasn’t in his favor, that Namjoon wasn’t supposed to be in his life. At least that’s how he interpreted their last meeting. Is Namjoon actually a regular here? Does he know Seokjin? What the actual fuck is going on? Before he could ponder anymore Yoohyeon called Jungkook to the front counter.

Jungkook made his way to the counter still holding the broom and sweeper. Yoohyeon held an arm out to the panicked gay and smiled.

“Jungkook you’ve never met but he’s a regular here. This is Namjoon.”

“Uh hi-”

“Jungkook?” Namjoon took a few steps towards him. “You work here?” He looked stunned but happy about it.

“Yeah for about a month now” He scratched the back of his head out of nerves.

Seokjin looked back and forth between the two, as did Yoohyeon. Namjoon picked up on their confusion and laughed, telling them Jungkook was friends with his little brother and that’s how they knew each other.

“What a coincidence huh.” Seokjin smiled as he looked at Jungkook. “Don’t tell me you know my roommate Min Yoongi too?” He laughed his windshield wiper laugh.

“No I don’t know a Min Yoongi..”

“Ahh… probably for the better. He’s a bit intimidating, but only at first.”

Namjoon agreed. “Yeah Yoongi Hyung is actually a big softie.”

Seokjin and Namjoon shared a knowing look. Jungkook didn’t like how quickly he felt jealous by that look so he turned to his right and started sweeping. The handsome supervisor dragged Namjoon to the seating area to catch up and left the two younger workers to their own devices. It was five minutes to break and those five minutes felt like eternity.

While throwing out some used paper coffee cups he felt a tap on his shoulder. Jungkook turned to see a very close Namjoon towering over him.

“Hey I wanted to give you this.” He handed Jungkook a napkin, “ You’re friends with Tae and so if he happens to stay over or something could you text me? He never contacts me so this way I can at least tell his dad.”

“Oh.. sure..”

“And the next time we see each other just call me Hyung, ok?”

He gave Jungkook a thumbs up as he walked away leaving the boy in a trance.

“Next time……? Wait. Text him?”

He opened up the folded napkin and saw a line of numbers. His fucking phone number. In a zombie like state he walked through the back to the break room. Yoohyeon was sitting on the table, probably waiting for him but instead of acting natural he sat down and stared into the void.

“Hello? Earth to Jungkook!”

He snapped out of it and finally came back to reality. He looked up to Yoohyeon with pleading eyes then slowly handed her the folded napkin.

“What’s this?”

“Namjoon Hyung gave it to me…”

Jungkook’s face went noticeably red and he covered his face with his hands letting out noises of distress.

“Ooooooooo you got a crush!”

It was silent for a moment before the boy could actually allow himself to say it out loud.

“Yeah. Since I was around 15.”

“Wait what?” She was very obviously confused.

“Uhhh you remember when I told you about that guy I’ve liked since I was 15? The one that made me realize I was gay?”

“Yeah….”

“Well, that’s him….” He weakly pointed to the napkin.

“WAIT WHAT?” Yoohyeon stood up and put her hands on her head “That huge nerd? _That_ made you gay?” She didn’t even try to hide her smirk.

“Oh my god don’t say it like that! He’s totally hot ok! Like he’s tall and it kinda makes me feel small and-”

“Oh no no no don’t you go on listing all your kinks about your height difference!”

“Yoohyeon-ah!” He layed his head on the table in defeat. She was full on laughing now.

“He’s not even that much taller than you though.”

“I know but still….” He pouted. “He’s still hot.”

“Hmm” She nodded. “Yes. I’m a lesbian but I have eyes. It’s those dimples isn’t it?”

“Well the dimples don’t help that’s for sure.” He finally smiled, “Hey Yoohyeon-ah. Can I ask you something?”

She nodded and he dreaded to ask even though he bought it up. This was all he could think about today.

“Do I… look gay?”

His friend stared at him for a few moments before answering. “I’m not sure. I feel like because I know you I’m more inclined to say you do, so I’m not too sure.”

“Yeah that makes sense.”

“I mean, do I look like a lesbian?”

“Hmm maybe not look but act? I don’t know but I remember not being surprised when you told me about your girlfriend.”

“Actually now that you mention it I also wasn’t surprised when you told me that you’re gay. I guess the real question is _‘Do we look gay to straight people_ ’.”

“I just wanna know if Namjoon hyung can tell if I’m very gay for him. I’m not sure if he’s reading it as me being shy or if he knows and he doesn’t bring it up to not embarrass me?”

“I can’t really help you there. I barely even know him. Just that he’s a regular here and that he can speak English.”

“He can what?” Jungkook whined

“Yup. Pretty fluently too. When he found out I could speak a bit of English he got all excited and we talked in English for a bit. Oh and I think I remember Seokjin say something about him having a really high IQ, like genius level.”

“He’s…..so out of my league oh my god.”

“Oh come on he gave you his number right?”

“That was only because I’m friends with his brother. He told me to text him if his brother stays over.”

“Oh…” She pet her chin as she thought.“Well, you got his number now so why not just start up a conversation?”

“Excuse me? Have you met me?”

“I know I know Mr. I’m so shy I’ve kept food I didn’t order because I was too nervous to tell the waiter. But that’s the glory of texting. He doesn’t even have to see your spazzy face.”

“Wow thanks.” Jungkook’s voice was laced with sarcasm.

“You’re welcome.” She gave him the peace sign as she went to grab her purse. “I’m starving, Kookie. Are we gonna get food or not?”

He laughed in response and grabbed his bag. After they left he realized he never clocked out for lunch. Just another thing to add to his long list of worries. They went to the restaurant right across the street and ate way too much food. As they walked back he tried to fathom working with such a huge food baby. Luckily the rest of his shift was still slow so it was manageable.

It was 2pm and his shift had ended. He said goodbye to Yoohyeon as they left in opposite directions. He pushed his hands inside his pockets and felt the folded napkin Namjoon had given him. If he wasn’t already sweating from the humidity he was now, thinking about his next move. Even if he did text him what would he say? _‘Hello when I was 15 I saw ur thighs and became gay’._  Yeah. Definitely a winner right there.

It was Jimin’s day off so when he opened the apartment door he was greeted by his sleepy messy haired friend. He had his laptop open and had his class schedules on the screen. Jungkook almost forgot about college starting at the end of the month, he was so caught up with his job (and this entire predicament with Namjoon).

He let out a big sigh as he slumped down on the couch next to Jimin. His friend patted the top of his head.

“Rough day huh?”

“Don’t know where to start.” He grumbled.

“Oh that bad?”

He scratched his head so vigorously that when he stopped his hair was sticking out everywhere. He sighed again.

“I met Namjoon at the bookstore today.”

“Holy shit! What happened?”

“Honestly not much but apparently he’s a regular there. Oh and this,” He pulled the napkin out of his pocket and handed it to Jimin.

“You little shit.. _‘not much’_ my ass, Jungkookie!” He punched Jungkook in the arm.

“Ow!”

“That’s what you get for making me think you had a shit day! This is literally the total opposite of shitty.”

“But he wasn’t flirting it was because I know Tae.” He frowned.

“So you didn’t send a text yet?”

Jungkook pulled his phone out of his back pocket. “No I haven’t even saved the number yet it’s too nerve wracking.”

“But you want to text him, right?”

He bit his lips as he thought. “Yes. I just don’t know what to say. You know me? I can’t start conversations for the life of me.”

Jimin tapped his fingers on the arm of the couch as he thought to himself. “Ah! I have it!” He shook Jungkook’s shoulders in excitement.

"Say _‘It was good seeing you again’._ "

“That doesn’t sound too bad I guess?”

“Yeah short and sweet.”

Jungkook opened the contacts on his phone and added Namjoon. He went to _compose_ and just stared at the screen.

“Jimin I’m gonna puke.”

“Oh. My. God.” He ripped the phone out of Jungkook’s hands. “Let me do it.”

He typed it out and sent send and dropped it in jungkook’s lap.

“See? Not hard.”

Jungkook checked his sent messages and squeaked. “You put an exclamation point! Now I look too eager!”

“Ok I won’t help you next time!” Jimin got up and stuck his tongue out to taunt him.

Jungkook was about to get up and tickle Jimin until he apologized when he heard his phone ding. They both stilled. Jimin mimed the words _'open it'_ and he did.

 

 **Namjoon** **Hyung**

sent 3:14pm

_It was good seeing you too! How crazy is it that you work there now? Be sure to tell me if Seokjin hyung is too rough on ya :)_

 

"He.... he replied."


	3. See You Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A rainy day and drunken shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this a bit early :^D
> 
> Beware of possible misspellings and poor grammar T _ T

The humidity finally turned into rain and it hadn’t stopped raining since the night he got Namjoon’s reply. Jimin pestered him to write something back but he never did. Even Yoohyeon told him it was a lost opportunity if he didn’t send another text back. Jungkook didn’t want awkward chit chat but he promised his friends he’d reply within the next few days. His time was up and he was hoping nobody would notice.

Jungkook had the afternoon shift today so he slept in until 10am. When his alarm went off he was already awake looking at the ceiling. He shut his alarm off and continued to space out until he heard a knock on his bedroom door. Jungkook sat up and grunted a noise of approval before Jimin walked in.

“Hey so Tae texted me asking if he could come over tonight?”

“Uh sure,” He tried clearing his throat. “I’m done at seven if we’re all hanging out.”

“Ok! Oh and make sure to text your dorky crush today.” He scurried away before jungkook could protest.

“Dammit..” He pulled the covers over his head not wanting to get up.

He got out of bed once he started smelling Jimin’s cooking and decided he couldn’t hide from him anyway. He sat at the kitchen table waiting for his food like a child. Jimin handed him his coffee mug and soon after a plate full of hot food. They both ate in relative silence until Jimin broke it with a fit of laughter.

“Jungkook stop freaking out.”

“Leave me alone.” He pouted.

“You should thank Tae actually.”

“For what?”

“He’s coming over and your dimpled dork asked you to text him when he does. Remember?”

“Holy shit you’re right.”

“You don’t get off that easily though, you have to prolong the conversation like you promised.” He took his and Jungkook’s empty dishes to the sink as he gave him an overly exaggerated wink.

“Ew don’t wink at me.” He shivered to show his disgust.

“You’re one of the few lucky people who get to see my winks. Be grateful.”

“Your winks are more like you blinking though. Not that impressive.”

“Why can’t you let me have anything.” He pouted.

“Don’t worry you have lots of other charms.” He stood up and poured the last of his lukewarm coffee down the drain.

“Finally! A compliment!” Jimin huffed.

“You make it seem like I bully you when it’s actually the other way around.”

“I bully you out of love, like your brother.”

“You actually bully me more than him. Please learn from my brother.”

“Ahh that’s no fun.” He whined as he turned the water on to wash the dishes.

“Oh let me do that. You have to leave soon right?” He pulled Jimin away from the sink.

“Ok ok!” He wiped his hands on his apron. “Yeah I’m a bit nervous about meeting this dance crew.”

“Don’t be. Like I said, you have lots of charms so you’ll be fine.”

“I think it’s mostly because of the fact that I’m used to dancing alone. But apparently a few of the guys are in the dance department from our college. It’d be good to get to know some people before college starts up..so I’ll suck it up.” He let out a single nervous laugh.

Jungkook turned to look at Jimin and gave him a sincere smile. “Hyung, it’ll be great. Have fun ok?”

Jimin returned the smile. “Thank you Jungkookie.”

Jungkook knew Jimin was only this nervous because he was switching his major during his third year. He had a inkling that Jimin was a bit jealous that Jungkook had waited to go to college until he knew exactly what he wanted to major. Jungkook’s parents right away tried to push him to go anyway because _‘you’re smart, you’ll figure it out while you’re there_ ’. But he saw his Hyung struggle because he did that very thing. Jimin was there for Jungkook when things in his life were confusing and stressful and he deserved that given back to him.

The younger boy saw Jimin off at the door and decided he would leave early to grab a few school supplies, maybe matching notebooks for him and Jimin. The boy showered and got dressed and left after putting some laundry away.

It was still raining so he brought his favorite umbrella (it had a cloud print on the interior while the outside was a royal blue). As he walked around a few kids pointed to his umbrella in awe. One kid was so interested that she stood underneath it with Jungkook and asked if he painted it. The little girl’s mother apologized as she took her daughter into a nearby store. Jungkook internally thanked the curious kids, their smiles easing his nerves from earlier.

Jungkook bought a few things and headed to work once it was closer to two. At nearly the exact moment he clocked in he got a text from Yoohyeon.

 

**Yoohyeon**

sent 2:00pm

_Did you text him yet ;)_

 

**Me**

sent 2:01pm

_Can you and Jimin let me breathe omg_

 

**Yoohyeon**

sent 2:01

_Glad me and Jimin are on the same page. I need to meet him to thank him for his hard work._

 

**Me**

sent 2:02

_Actually… if you’re free tonight I’m hanging out with him and another friend at my place. Beer will probably be involved. I’ve been meaning to have you and hyung meet anyway._

 

**Yoohyeon**

2:02

_That sounds fun! My gf is busy tonight so now I won’t be bored outta my mind._

 

He texted her the address and told her to leave him alone because he was at work. Yoohyeon sent a line of sad emojis in return. Before he forgot he sent Jimin a text about inviting Yoohyeon and got a thumbs up emoji in reply. He put his phone in his back pocket and headed out front.

He worked with a rather quiet girl today so there wasn’t much conversation. And Seokjin actually looked busy so all of his entertainment lied within seeing how many plastic coffee cups he could throw into the trash from behind the counter.

There were more customers this afternoon so it went by relatively quickly. It was nearing 7pm when he got a text from Jimin saying Taehyung was already over and he brought lots of beer. Jungkook clocked out and with a jump in his step walked home in the light rain.

When the boy opened the apartment door he immediately heard Yoohyeon’s laughter. Taking off his shoes he placed his backpack on the kitchen table and made his way into the living room.

“My hands aren’t that small!” Jimin’s face was beet red. Yoohyeon and Taehyung were laughing so hard they could barely put a word in.

Jungkook cleared his throat to get their attention. Yoohyeon and Taehyung cheered at his arrival while Jimin ran to him looking for solace.

“Jungkook why does every new friend you introduce me to love to bully me? What's up with that, huh?”

“It’s because you’re just so cute!” Yoohyeon stood up and made grabby hands at Jimin. He squealed and ran into the kitchen.

It was apparent his friends had already started drinking before Jungkook got there. Six mostly empty beer cans on the coffee table being the proof. He sat down with Taehyung on the floor and took a handful of chips to munch on.

“We haven’t seen each other since I moved out. You miss me?” He nudged Taehyung in the shoulder.

“I did actually! And I’m not embarrassed to admit it!” Taehyung went in for a sloppy side hug and Jungkook hugged him back.

Jimin came back running through the living room and sprawled out on the couch exhausted. Yoohyeon followed cautiously and with an evil grin, layed on top of him. Jimin let out noises of distress but soon enough gave up once she started playing with his hair.

“Why is she like a dog?” Jimin moved into a more comfortable position.

“I like her.” Taehyung bursted out laughing again.

“Thank you both for the compliments.” Yoohyeon still played with jimin’s blond locks, “And yes being compared to a dog is a compliment.”

“How are you already so drunk Yoohyeon? God..I need some beer.” Jungkook hurried to the fridge for a couple beers and brought some water for the others. “Also why did you bring so much beer when you don’t even drink it, Tae?”

“We haven’t seen each other for awhile so I got a little carried away with a house warming gift.” The sober boy innocently sipped a can of soda.

“So you’re idea of a house warming gift is a shitton of beer?”

“Isn’t that everyone’s? Especially for college students. Kook I’m just buttering you up for a true college experience.”

“Wait, what about butter?” Jimin hiccuped.

“I’m going to butter Jungkook up.” Taehyung giggled out.

“We don’t have enough butter for that.” Jimin frowned.

“Oh my god I hate this.” Jungkook finished off his first beer. “Oh Hyung, how did today go?”

“Ughhhh they were all so intimidating. And all of them were taller than me.” Jimin said unpleasantly. His drunk hyung seemingly spaced out but soon shot up from the couch. “Ah!” He pointed to Jungkook “You didn’t text him!”

Yoohyeon joined in with the drunk interrogation. “You think we’d let you off the hook?”

“Didn’t text who?” Taehyung set his empty soda can on the coffee table.

“You’re brother!” The drunk boy now pointed at Taehyung.

“Why would Kook be texting my brother?”

Taehyung stared at him in confusion and Jimin mirrored his confusion. “Are you suddenly incoherent? You know? Jungkookie’s huge crush?”

“Uh yeah that random guy from our building?” Taehyung shrugged.

“Jeon Jungkook! What the fuck is going on here?” The drunk boy was fuming. Yoohyeon was holding onto him to settle him down.

Jungkook knew he was in deep shit. You don’t keep something from Park Jimin and get away with it. Taehyung didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark anymore either, he really cherished him as a friend. He took a deep breath.

“Tae.”

“Why do you sound so serious?” He nervously laughed.

“The random guy from the apartment building was your brother.”

“I’m… confused.” He looked back to Jimin. “So Jimin knew and I didn’t?”

“I’m sorry I just…” Jungkook scratched his head. “So the actual reason why I didn’t tell you was because you and your brother never seemed close. And the few times he was brought up in conversation it didn’t seem like you liked him very much. I didn’t want our friendship to be messed up just because I had a stupid crush on your brother, ya know? And to be honest I never expected to ever talk to him, let alone get his number.”

Taehyung nodded in understanding. “I probably would have been upset if you told me back then. I get it. Hyung has always taken care of me but.. it’s complicated. I haven’t told you guys a lot about my family but Hyung is a good person. I understand why you’d like him.”

“Awww Tae!” Jungkook hugged Taehyung and apologized over and over again. Jimin and Yoohyeon joined in making it a messy group hug.

Jimin was first to break the hug. “So now we’re back to you needing to text him back.”

“Ok!” Jungkook yelled in defeat.

“Care to explain how you got his number?” Taehyung readied himself for the gossip.

“He only gave it to me so that if you stayed over I’d text him to let him know. Nothing flirty.”

“Oh… well, he’s a terrible flirt anyway. Even worse with boys.”

Both Jungkook and Jimin’s eyed bulged. Jungkook nearly screamed out, “HE LIKES BOYS?” Jimin stood up and started cheering.

“Uh yeah I’m pretty sure he’s bi.”

“Text him now dammit!” Jimin shook Yoohyeon in excitement.

“I can’t believe he likes boys. Shit. I need to not get all hopeful.” Jungkook frantically took out his phone.

“If you told me sooner you would’ve already known.” Taehyung gave him a smug smile.

“I know, I’m paying for it now.” He held his phone out and went to compose. He tapped on _Namjoon Hyung_ and slowly began to type. He hit send and collapsed on Taehyung’s lap. 

 

**Me**

sent 7:48pm

_Hi Hyung. Tae is staying over tonight._

 

Taehyung looked at the message. “That’s it? All that freaking out and this is all you send?”

“It’s easier to reply after he says something ok?”

“Baby steps. That’s a gay baby we got over there.” Yoohyeon stated matter of factly.

“Shut up!” Jungkook blushed.

“Oh no I won’t! This lesbian raised you, give me some respect!”

Taehyung laughed. “Haven’t you two only known each other for a month how could you raise him?”

“Kookie was a lost gay soul before I filled his noggin with lgbt lingo and culture. Poor boy was an uncultured gay before he met me!” Yoohyeon crossed her arms. “He didn’t even know we had drag queens in Korea.” She shook her head.

“How was I supposed to know-” Jungkook was cut off by his phone dinging. “Fuck.”

Everyone yelled at him to open the message. He pressed open. “I’m gonna read it out loud…” He took a deep breath. “He said _‘thank you for letting me know’_ and then he said he hasn’t seen me at the bookstore.”

“Ohh so Hyung knows where you work?”

“He’s actually a regular. It’s like fate that Kookie started working there.” Yoohyeon smiled.

“So what is your reply going to be?” Jimin hounded him.

“Uhh lemme just..” He started typing something out. “How does this sound.. _‘You’re welcome. All my shifts have been afternoon ones lately. Do you come by every day?’_ ”

“Hit send.” Taehyung gave him the thumbs up.

“Sent.” Jungkook let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Why is this so stressful.”

“Because you’re a gay baby.”

“Yoohyeon I swear…”

His phone dinged again.

“That was fast.” Taehyung smiled.

Jungkook checked the message. “He asked when my next shift is..”

“This is good.” Jimin grined.

 

**Me**

sent 7:55pm

_The morning shift the day after tomorrow_

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 7:55pm

_Ok see you then!_

 

“See you then…”

Jimin squealed. “He’s coming to see you?”

“I guess? I’m not too sure?” He opened a neglected can of beer and took a huge gulp. “Thank god I have tomorrow off. I’m gonna drink my nerves away.” He took another gulp.

“Woah woah Kook don’t go overkill .” Taehyung took the beer from the tense boy.

“How am I supposed to talk to him? I don’t even know what he likes? I’m guessing books but other than that what the fuck do I talk to him about?”

“You have his brother sitting right next to you, idiot.” Taehyung pointed to himself. “I’m still not the closet to him but I’ll let you know everything I can think of.”

“You’re my hero!” Jungkook clasped Taehyung’s hands.

“You can finally add onto your list, Jungkookie.” Jimin sang out.

“List?” Taehyung looked to Jungkook for an explanation.

“Park Jimin I hate you.”

“What list?”

Jimin was cackling. “His list of Namjoon facts.”

“Stop exposing me!” Jungkook blushed as he whined.

“Actually.. lemme show you.” Jimin scurried into Jungkook’s room and Jungkook ran after him in an attempt to stop him.

Taehyung and Yoohyeon heard something fall to the floor and soon saw a terrified Jimin running for his life. He threw a notebook to Taehyung and he immediately opened it up. On the top of the page in large letters said _‘Thighs boy facts’_ and a sidenote stating that _‘Thighs boy is now Namjoon’_. Underneath were 6 facts.

Jungkook had the walk of shame as he returned when he knew he was too late. He face planted into the couch and yelled into the cushion.

“You only know 6 things about him?” Taehyung sounded surprised.

“Seven, now that you told me he’s bi.” Jungkook’s voice was muffled from the cushions.

“Do you wanna add more facts or not?” Taehyung bonked him on the head with the notebook.

Jungkook turned his head to look at his so-called hero. “I do…”

“Ok, class is in session.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter felt like a filler! It was more of an informational chapter but don't worry Jungkook and Namjoon meet and talk a lot next chapter!


	4. Definitely An Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fresh fruit and too many books

**New and improved Namjoon facts**

  1. _He is three years older_
  2. _Raps and writes his own music_
  3. _Is clumsy as shit and broke their coffee maker three times since moving in so he’s banned from the kitchen_
  4. _Apparently likes cute things_
  5. _Speaks English (fluently)_
  6. _Extremely smart?? A genius?_
  7. _Bi. Thank god._
  8. _Can’t cook to safe his life_
  9. _The intellectual type_
  10. _Is actually the one responsible for my emo phase (got tae into Linkin Park then tae got me into them)_
  11. _Isn’t confident in his looks_
  12. _Is never not reading a book_
  13. _He snores_
  14. _Purple was his favorite color as a kid_
  15. _Thinks he looks bad with black hair which is why it’s always dyed (light brown atm)_
  16. _Has bad eyesight and usually wears contact lenses_



Taehyung apologized for not being able to help add more but Jungkook was grateful. The drunken group stayed up nearly all night talking about everything from their first kisses to politics. None of them made it to a mattress and slept in an uncomfortable lump on the floor, no doubt each of them would wake up with terrible back and neck pain.

Jungkook was the first to wake up. He had half of Jimin’s body draped over his and had to carefully peel his hyung off to free himself. He chuckled when he noticed Taehyung and Yoohyeon cuddling in their deep sleep. In a half awake state he went to the kitchen and set up the rice cooker. He put the timer on and decided he’d shower as he waited. He’d leave the coffee to Jimin.

Once out of the shower he was greeted by a sleepy Taehyung leaning outside the door.

“You mind if I use your shower?”

“Not at all. You can borrow some clothes if you want.” He stepped out of the way.

“Hmm already ahead of you.” The sleepy boy lifted up a shirt and shorts he took from Jungkook’s room.

“Why even ask then!” He laughed as he pushed Taehyung into the bathroom.

Taehyung gave him a big boxy grin before shutting the door. The freshly showered boy let out a yawn as he continued to dry his hair. Before he even made it to the kitchen counter to check on the rice, there was a knock on the front door. Caught off guard Jungkook accidentally kneed the cabinet. Swearing under his breath he headed for the door ready to curse whomever disturbed him on his day off.

“Who is it?” He huffed in annoyance as he opened the door.

A very apologetic Namjoon stood in front of him. “Ah..I’m so sorry for bothering you.”

Jungkook was quiet, not yet being able to wrap his head around the situation. It took a few moments to compose himself. “H-how do you know where I live?” Jungkook swore he was dreaming. Was his hangover so bad that he was actually hallucinating right now?

“Tae gave me the address. He said he drank so much that he didn’t think he could take the bus home so I came to pick him up.“ He smiled. “He’s never asked me for help before actually.” His dimple showed as his smile deepend.

“Uhh.” Ok, so he _wasn’t_ hallucinating but he didn’t understand what was going on. Taehyung doesn’t drink so how could he be drunk? Not unless it’s possible to get drunk off soda, which he did drink a lot of last night. He started to wonder if he was possibly in the twilight zone but snapped out of it once he looked up to see Namjoon staring at him. “C-come in. Tae’s in the shower right now.”

“Oh, thanks.”

He walked past Jungkook and the boy wondered how it was possible for Namjoon to smell so good. He awkwardly offered his crush a seat at the kitchen table. Before any awkward silence could begin he excused himself telling Namjoon that he would tell Taehyung he was there to pick him up.

Jungkook knocked on the bathroom door but didn’t even wait for a response before he walked inside.

“Tae. Why the fuck is your brother here?” He whisper screamed.

He got maniacal laugher as an answer. The boy in question peeked his head outside the shower curtain. “Don’t kill me but I lied about being drunk so he’d pick me up. I timed it so I’d be in the shower when he arrived so you had some alone time.”

“What if I was still sleeping. How would the plan have worked then..”

“I admit.. I didn’t even think of that but it doesn’t matter. Go talk to him. I’ll take a nice long shower.”

“I’m not sure if you’re an angel or a demon.. ”

“Definitely an angel. Now leave!”

Jungkook left feeling conflicted. Namjoon was in his apartment sitting in his kitchen looking really handsome. The biggest issue being, how was he supposed to talk to him when he is suddenly in his home? He hadn’t even prepared himself for seeing him at work the next day. He knew he couldn’t procrastinate any longer and he didn’t want to be rude and leave Namjoon by himself, so he headed back to the kitchen.

The nervous boy made his way to the kitchen table. Namjoon noticed him and smiled. He lingered at the opposite side of the table fidgeting with the towel around his neck.

“Tae basically just got in so it’ll be a little bit.”

“That’s alright.”

Jungkook shyly averted his eyes then noticed a bag on the table. Namjoon saw the younger boy glance at the bag.

“Oh this.” Namjoon grabbed the bag. “I brought these over as a kind of thanks, for taking care of Tae these past few years.” He pulled out a few different containers of fruits. “I wasn’t sure what you liked so I just grabbed these.” He looked a little embarrassed and Jungkook was completely smitten.

There were strawberries, grapes and melon slices. His heart swelled at the sweet gesture. “These are great. Thank you.” He collected the containers and set them in the fridge. The rice cooker beeped and he turned it off.

“Would you.. like some coffee?”

“Yes actually, if you don’t mind.” The dimpled boy scratched his head. “I totally forgot to buy some so no wonder I’m a bit loopy.”

“It’s no problem.” He smiled softly.

He took off the towel around his neck and folded it neatly before setting it on the table. Jungkook decided to use their nicest coffee that his father bought him. He poured the water in the top after adding the coffee inside and turned it on. The boy turned around and saw Namjoon with his head leaning on the palms of his hands with his eyes closed. Jungkook almost choked at the adorable image.

“It smells really good.” Namjoon said with his eyes still closed.

“It’s my favorite. I hope you like it.”

“Oh if it tastes as good as it smells then I already love it.“ He opened his eyes and smiled at Jungkook.

Jungkook blushed. “So..” He leaned against the counter. “Tomorrow you’re coming by the store?”

“Yes. I actually have books to donate. At lot.” He shifted in his chair. “I’ve been so busy that I haven’t gotten around to bringing them in so there are a lot. I’d feel like an ass if I just dumped them off, so I thought I would help sort and organize them. Seokjin hyung told me that was typically your job so that’s why I asked about your next shift.”

“Ohh. But aren’t you busy? It’s my job to do all that so you wouldn’t be an ass.”

“You haven’t seen the amount of books, kid. You’d hate me.”

In the next few minutes the coffee was done and he poured the both of them a cup. He gave Namjoon his personal mug and hid a smile as he watched him drink from it. Jungkook was aware he was acting like a lovesick puppy and he honestly didn’t care. They both quietly sipped their coffee. It was strangely comfortable even in the silence and Jungkook was grateful for the fact.

Within the next five minutes Taehyung surfaced from the bathroom, a cloud of steam escaped from the door behind him. Taehyung uncomfortably greeted his brother, it being abundantly clear the two weren’t very close. Namjoon stood up and headed for the door with Taehyung.

“Thank you for the coffee. I’ll see you tomorrow!” He waved as Taehyung also said his goodbye. Jungkook shut the door behind them.

“Shit….” He leaned his head on the door in slight disbelief. He felt like he just woke up from the perfect dream.

“Did Tae just leave with someone?”

Jungkook turned to see an oddly very awake looking Jimin. “Oh um yeah.” He paused. “With his brother.”

“You’re joking…” Jimin narrowed his eyes on his roommate.

“I wish I was? I’m actually not sure if it really did happen so don’t take my word for it.”

“No, the fact that you’re a mess right now is proof that he was here.”

A very disheveled looking Yoohyeon walked beside Jimin. “Mr. dimples was here?” She tried to fix her bed head but failed.

“Tae had him pick him up. And uh he brought me fruit.” Jungkook pointed to the fridge.

“What?” Jimin marched to the fridge. “He bought you fresh fruit?!” He looked to Jungkook with wide eyes. “He might as well just propose to you!”

Yoohyeon stood next to Jimin. “Maybe a ring is on one of the grapes.”

“Can you two shut up.” He facepalmed.

The rest of the morning was filled with bickering and laughs. Yoohyeon said her goodbyes after breakfast and for the rest of the day he and Jimin played video games. Jungkook hoped the night would go on forever because his stomach couldn’t handle the nerves. A bit reluctantly he went to bed a little past midnight and fell asleep after lots of tossing and turning. He hadn’t realized it yet but the rain had finally stopped.

__________________

Jungkook went through his morning routine in a daze. It wasn’t until he poured himself a cup of coffee that his thoughts were back on Namjoon.

“Dammit. Now every time I drink out of this I’ll think of him.”

The walk to work wasn’t as peaceful this morning, his anxious ass wouldn’t allow it. He stopped at the bookstore's display window, looking at the donate poster.

 

**We accept your unwanted books!**

***You can get a compensation up to 5000 won for books that are like new**

 

Most of the people he saw who donated books to the store were old ladies and middle-aged men. It usually wasn’t too much work to do because they never brought more than a few books at a time. He still wasn’t sure what to expect from Namjoon, especially with his _‘You’d hate me.’_ warning.

The boy clocked in and began his usual tasks. Seokjin greeted him as usual while nursing a free cup of coffee. He was cleaning the break room when he heard a cautious knock on the door. He looked up and saw Namjoon.

“I’m here pretty early, sorry.” He stood at the door wearing a messenger bag along with a large backpack.

“Come in.” Jungkook was glad he was early, he didn’t know how long he could stand the wait.

“I need to set this down oh my god.” Namjoon slipped off his backpack and with a loud thud he set it on the table. “And this.” The messenger bag followed with a similar loud thud.

“Did you bring rocks or something?” He glanced at Namjoon hoping he’d laugh.

Namjoon did laugh. “I told you it was a lot of books.”

“How many exactly…”

“Sixteen…”

“Holy shit _how_?”

“Uhh I read a lot for inspiration. And yeah I’ve been so busy these past few months, last month especially, that.. ” He gestured at the bags on the table. “This happened."

“You were right. I would’ve hated you if you just dropped these off.” Half true but still. “But if you’re so busy how do you have time to read?”

“I make time. Reading is my relaxing time so I always find the time somewhere.”

“Ohh.” Jungkook nodded.

“You wanna start?”

“Yes let’s start.”

Namjoon unloaded the books and the table was completely covered. There weren’t just books in korean but english and even in japanese. Jungkook was beyond impressed.

“You can read in english and japanese?”

“Yeah but I’m still practicing with my japanese, I have a lot to improve on.”

“That’s.. wow. I can’t fathom knowing three languages.”

“It’s not some impossible thing though.”

“Says the actual genius.”

“Oh no did Tae tell you that?” He said sheepishly. “People expect a chic and together person when they find out but instead they get this clumsy mess.”

“You’re not _that_ bad.”

“You don’t know me that well. Yet.”

Jungkook had to contain a squeal at the word _‘yet’_. He smiled as Namjoon laughed at himself. They continued their chit chat as Jungkook wrote down all the titles in the store’s catalog. He had Namjoon separate the books according to fiction and nonfiction and then they made their way out to the front with the books on a cart.

Namjoon had books from basically every genre. Most were books that made one think and challenged your mind. As the younger boy was admiring the cover of one of Namjoon’s donated books he was spooked by a tapping noise in front of him.

“Psst.” Namjoon was on the other side looking through the bookshelf at Jungkook. “Oh did I scare you?”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and put the book on the shelf. “No.”

“Hey.“ The older boy whispered. “Have you ever fooled around with a girl behind the shelves?”

“Um. No.” Jungkook was startled by the question.

“But would you?” He teased.

“No…”

“Hmm.” Namjoon began to walk back to the cart.

“Maybe with a boy, though.” He said truthfully. He bit his bottom lip anticipating a response.

He heard a crash. Jungkook ran to where he heard the noise and saw the cart tipped over with the books and Namjoon scattered on the floor. A few customers in the seating area stared from their chairs.

“Are you ok?” Jungkook helped the fallen boy up.

“Yup. Just extremely embarrassed.” Namjoon’s face and the tips of his ears were red.

Namjoon in a flustered manner stood the cart in upright position as Jungkook picked up the books. They quietly put the rest of the books away and the nosy customers soon forgot the disturbance.

The two finished and went back to the break room with the empty cart. Seokjin was at the table looking through the catalog.

“Sixteen books Namjoon? Really?” He stood up and patted Jungkook on the shoulder. “You’re free from the god of destruction now.”

“You kicking me out?” Namjoon laughed.

“Yeah before you actually break something.” Seokjin walked past them and waved. “See ya!”

Namjoon took his messenger bag and rolled it inside his backpack. “You can just give me store credit for the books, that’s what I usually do.”

“Ok no problem.” Jungkook expected Namjoon to walk out but instead he lingered.

“So…. was what you said a joke or?” He trailed off.

Jungkook gulped. “Umm no. I’m actually gay.”

Namjoon nodded. “Well, I’m bi.”

“Cool.” Jungkook said awkwardly.

“Do you not go to Itaewon because I feel like I’d remember seeing you if you did.”

“Oh, well I’m still pretty new to the gay scene to be honest.”

“You should come with my friends and I next weekend. We’re going to a Drag show, it should be a lot of fun.”

Jungkook hesitated. “I don’t know..” He glanced up to Namjoon and saw his eager eyes shining. Dammit, he couldn’t say no. “Ok. I’ll go.”

He smiled wide. “Great! I’ll text you the details.” He waved as he walked out.

Jungkook slid down into a chair. “Holy fuck.” He quickly took out his phone and sent a text.

 

**Me**

sent: 10:47am

_I just decided that you are definitely an angel._

 

 

**Tae**

sent:10:48am

_Tell me something I don’t know! ;-)_


	5. Oh My God We're All Gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fishnets and Drag Queens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for 564 hits and 63 kudos ❤❤❤❤❤
> 
> Sorry for a short chapter but this week's updates are basically one large chapter cut in half.

Jungkook was a nervous wreck all week (a common occurrence at this point). College was starting up soon, two days after the day he agreed to hang out with Namjoon and his friends. The boy on multiple occasions almost cancelled on them but Yoohyeon invited herself to give him the moral support. Jungkook wasn’t good with crowds but he was tired of being scared of people. Too many times did he lie about being sick or being too busy just to get out of some social event. He was angry with himself for letting his nerves get the better of him his whole life. Jungkook wanted to try.

But now another problem arose; what does he wear? Namjoon texted him that the theme is black and white. He told Jungkook that it wasn’t mandatory but the Queens and most of everyone attending would be following the theme. The boy went through his entire wardrobe but nothing seemed to fit the occasion. It went from oversized sweats to one very formal suit, leftover from a wedding reception he attended. He sat on his bed surrounded by the mess of clothes and was ready to give up but then he remembered. He has Taehyung.

Taehyung was an up and coming model/actor, most recently staring in a skincare commercial. He actually dropped out of college because he made enough money to support himself. Taehyung had told Jungkook in the past about the perks, getting extras of products and even clothes. Not to mention he didn’t even need a stylist to be fashionable. Taehyung was his best bet. Jungkook didn’t have time to waste so he called his friend and he luckily picked up within the first few rings.

“Hey Kook. What’s up?” He sounded carefree on the phone.

“Tae I’m in desperate need of your help. I have nothing to wear to this Drag show.”

“Ohhh the themed show Hyung is also going to tonight?”

“Yes.”

“Kook.. why do you always come to me for help so late? The show is in four hours..” Taehyung sighs. “I’ll bring some stuff over and we’ll put something together ok?”

“You’re my hero.”

“I know.” He snickered and ended the call.

Taehyung arrived within the next 20 minutes with a small suitcase in tow. Jungkook being a bit modified upon seeing the suitcase welcomed Taehyung inside in a rush.

“I brought a lot I know but it’s better to be over prepared than under prepared, right?”

“Show me what you got.”

“Don’t make it sound like a drug deal.” Taehyung smacked Jungkook on the chest.

“Yeah.. sorry.” He laughed.

Taehyung opened the suitcase and started to separate things into piles on the floor. There was a bit of makeup, a few shirts and pants, he even brought shoes. Jungkook picked up the shoes and immediately loved them. They were black and white platform Oxfords and he wondered if he could haggle his friend into letting him keep them.

“I had an outfit idea in my head right away but I have other ideas if you’re not into it.” He held up a somewhat sheer black long sleeved button down. “You’re abs would be the accessory in this outfit. ”

“I’m not sure…”

“It’s not as sheer as you think. You can try it on to see, though.” He held up a pair of black shorts with a simple design. “How about these?”

“Those are good.”

“And Kook, here me out on this.” His friend went to the suitcase and took out fishnet stockings.

“No no no no no!”

“But I wore some for a photoshoot and they look so cool!” Taehyung pouted. “Can you at least try the outfit on before we scrap it?”

“Ugh. Ok.”

Jungkook tried the whole look on, including the shoes. It seemed like a lot to wear all together and the stockings felt a bit strange but once he looked in the mirror he was floored. He couldn’t recognize himself, he actually looked cool. He showed the outfit to Taehyung and he whistled.

“My brother is gonna die.”

“Oh my god, shut up.”

“So… you like it?”

Jungkook hesitated for a moment but soon nodded with a smile. Taehyung clapped and patted himself on the back.

“I’ve done it yet again.”

“It seems like both brothers are geniuses.”

Taehyung smiled wide at the compliment. Jungkook let his friend do all the finishing touches including painting his nails white, adding a silver cross necklace and styling his hair with a bit of hairspray. For makeup a very light use of foundation, and a subtle smokey eye did the trick.

“And… the finished look!”

Jungkook stared at himself in the mirror dumbfounded. He had never seen himself look so polished (and sexy). Taehyung told him that he could pass off as a kpop idol and he nearly laughed at the crazy thought.

“Tae, this is amazing. I’m so grateful.”

“Hmm count this as part of an early birthday present?”

“Oh shit, I almost forgot about my birthday coming up.”

A week away from now he was turning 20 years old. He thought how interesting that he was ending his teenage years by going to a gay bar to watch a Drag show. If his 15 year old self only knew, what would he think? Perhaps tell the future him that he’s insane to go out in that outfit or maybe something more along the lines of _‘fucking finally!’_.

Jungkook took an awkward selfie and sent it to Jimin who was in Busan visiting his parents before college started. His friend lost his shit and demanded for more pictures during the night.

The two friends realized they had been at it for three hours with another to spare. Taehyung decided that his job was done and left the apartment with his small suitcase. But before he left, he made Jungkook promise to let himself have fun tonight. Yoohyeon was coming over early to introduce her girlfriend to him and he was expecting her any moment. Not even a minute later there was an excited knock on the front door. Yoohyeon and Jungkook gasped at each other upon seeing each other’s outfit when he opened the door.

“Who are you and what have you done to my friend?” Yoohyeon dragged a beautiful girl inside the door with her.

“I know, right?” He looked at his friend’s outfit and was impressed with how cool yet casual it was. She wore a cropped black and white band tee, a black pleated skirt, sheer thigh highs and some black and white sneakers. “You look really great too!”

“Ahh no, my girl Handong looks the best.”

Yoohyeon’s girlfriend blushed while hitting her shoulder. She looked to Jungkook and smiled. “Hi I’m Handong. Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too. It’s great to have a face to your name since Yoohyeon constantly talks about you.”

Handong looked to her girlfriend. “Gosh you’re so embarrassing.

They sat around together and their chit chat soon ate up half an hour. The trio decided to leave for the bar before they accidentally talked the night away. Yoohyeon was ecstatic since this kind of outing was something she’d invited Jungkook out to many times. Her energy was infectious and he soon felt more excited than nervous. Jungkook slowly noticed he was getting a lot of stares but he felt above it all, too proud being himself right now that not a single stranger’s judging glance could hurt him. The closer they got to their destination the less glares he received. He started to see people like him, people who were just being themselves. He was happy in this simple moment.

They arrived at the bar and there was already a large crowd inside. Jungkook held Yoohyeon’s hand to calm himself at the overwhelming sight. He tried to shift his focus on the outfits and less on the people. He wished Taehyung came along even just to see the array of different looks inside the over packed room. But his friend declined the invitation because he had an early shoot the next morning so he couldn’t chance an all nighter.

They ordered drinks and tried to find a decent spot to stand in the back. A few minutes after sipping on their drinks an extremely beautiful person came up to Jungkook.

“I love your look, sweetheart. The fishnets are such a nice touch.” They waved and disappeared into the crowd. Jungkook didn’t even get to say thank you but he was glad to receive the compliment.

“I can’t believe you get a compliment from a Drag Queen your first night out.“ Handong moped.

“It’s the gay baby charm.” Yoohyeon said as she sipped her cocktail.

“You’re not gonna let that die, huh.”

Yoohyeon unexpectedly coughed on her drink. “What the fuck? I recognize those wide shoulders.” She frantically pointed towards the entrance.

There was no questioning it, Kim Seokjin had entered the bar and he was in full Drag.

The group bolted to the entrance to catch the man before he was lost to the crowd. Seokjin was wearing a white wig styled into a pixie cut but the closer they got they realized it was actually white feathers. His dress looked like a beautiful silk gown you’d see from an old black and white film. He wore matching gloves to complete the look. But most shocking was his waist, it was so tiny there was no doubt he was wearing a corset. They followed him near the stage and Yoohyeon was the one to get his attention.

“Mr. Supervisor I’d like to talk to you about my next shift!” She shouted over the music.

Seokjin turned around with a stunned expression but it soon smoothed out into a wide smile. “Oh my god we’re all gay!”

Jungkook almost choked he laughed so hard. “Do your parents only hire gay people or is it all coincidence?”

“I have no idea but I love it.” He laughed. “Oh. Let me introduce you to my friend.” A person in a black long bobbed wig tried to escape but was caught by Seokjin. “This is Yoongi, my roommate. He lost a bet so I did him up in a maid’s outfit. Cute, right?”

“Hip hop is dead.” Yoongi said in a monotoned voice.

“Oh don’t be a baby I let you wear sneakers instead of heels. You should be thanking me.” Seokjin huffed.

“Hey, he’s finally here.” Yoongi motioned his head to the packed entrance.

Jungkook looked through the the crowd and finally his eyes landed on  _him_. His heart felt like it stopped because, was Namjoon wearing a fucking corset?

 

__________ to be continued 

 

Extras: 

[Yoohyeon's outfit](https://78.media.tumblr.com/e12218045ed91a5c375347a372ff2ee6/tumblr_orpnrlhrKz1ti35kvo2_400.gif)

[Inspiration for Jungkook's outfit](https://pm1.narvii.com/6321/f1fccaf548295222b326aacf6ded0c6600dc5ee7_hq.jpg)

[Namjoon's outfit](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/35/a0/17/35a01783e4ed4a7c38c1631ce56a6dcc.jpg)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A warning for the tomorrow's chapter***
> 
> There will be a part with sexual harassment so please don't read if that's triggering.
> 
> I'll add more tags and warnings as the story progresses so be mindful of that and stay safe everyone.


	6. Don't Worry About It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bold eyebrows and bloody noses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****warning for this chapter 
> 
> There is a part with sexual harassment/assault in this chapter so please don't read if that makes you uncomfortable or is triggering. 
> 
> Stay safe ❤
> 
> Overall this chapter is a bit of a wild ride. Enjoy.

He was wearing a fucking corset. It was black and on the outside of his outfit, not hidden like Seokjin’s. Underneath was a very open white button down and with it he wore loose black slacks. Namjoon’s hair was always down when he saw him but tonight it was styled up. Jungkook already thought Namjoon was hot but this was something he was never prepared for; sexy Namjoon.

Seokjin called out and got his friend’s attention and soon Namjoon and another guy was walking their way. The person immediately introduced himself.

“Hello new faces I’m Hoseok. I welcome you to ‘ _The Not Straight Crew’_.“ They all introduced themselves but Yoongi tried to sneak away again. Hoseok noticed and pointed to Yoongi and squealed. “Joon look !” He grabbed Yoongi and pushed him in Namjoon’s direction.

“Hyung! You look so pretty. If I didn’t know it was you I might’ve hit on you.” He winked.

Yoongi folded his arms. “God no, I don’t wanna go through that with you again.” He said in a disgusted voice.

Jungkook froze as Yoongi’s statement echoed inside his head. What does _‘again’_ mean? Does this mean they used to be a thing? Is Namjoon still into him? Did Yoongi break it off and Namjoon never got over him? Is it a sad waste of time to long for Namjoon if he’s longing for someone else?

He was snapped out of his paranoia when he heard Namjoon’s low voice say his name.

“Huh?”

“I said, you look great Jungkookie.”

The anxious boy blushed at the nickname. “Thank you, Tae helped me with it.”

“No way! Tae helped me with my outfit too!”

“You know what yeah, the pants have Tae’s name all over them.” He laughed and so did Namjoon.

“Excuse me, why am I not being complimented? I look gorgeous tonight.” Seokjin spit out in annoyance.

“But you look gorgeous every day, Hyung.” Hoseok said as he locked an arm around Seokjin.

“Good save. I’ll take it.” He smirked. “Ok ladies and gentlemen I have to leave and get ready for my set. Have fun while I’m gone but make sure to cheer for me once I’m on. I’m third, so remember that.” He stole a sip of Yoohyeon’s cocktail before he walked off.

“And to think he used to be a Mukbang YouTuber as a hobby before this.” Hoseok shook his head. “He somehow fits anything.”

“Hearing that doesn’t surprise me at all.” Yoohyeon nodded.

“I actually met him through YouTube.” Hoseok continued. “I still have my channel but he stopped as soon as a Drag Queen told him he’d look amazing in Drag. He’s only been doing it for 7 months and he’s already that polished? That guy can do anything.“

“Wow.. you sound like you look up to him” Jungkook smiled as he saw Hoseok nod.

“I think we all do.” He put his arms around Yoongi and Namjoon.

“You don’t have to live with him though.” Yoongi said. “He won’t feed me unless I laugh at his dad jokes.”

“A small price to pay for an amazing home cooked meal.” Namjoon grinned.

For a moment the music stopped and everyone’s attention was drawn to the stage. A Drag Queen walked on the stage with a mic and the crowd began to cheer.

“Hello hello hello! We have 12 Queens on tonight so get your drunken ass selves together because the night has only just begun. Welcome to the stage, Marlena.”

Everyone cheered and the lights were suddenly shut off. Jungkook gasped and grabbed onto the closest person to him. A single light was projected with the face of the Queen, presumably. The beginning of the song sounded like a low heartbeat and the image flickered along with the beat. It was quiet as the audience didn’t know what to expect but soon the projected image began to lip sync to the song. It was haunting and nobody dared to look away. As the chorus begun the Drag Queen was revealed and Jungkook recognized her as the Queen that complimented him earlier. She was in a long white gown with no wig, just natural black hair slicked back and bold black eyebrows drawn on. Colors were being projected over her, almost like she was being painted and she was soon consumed by them. It was beautiful and sorrowful. It was astounding how real it looked, the veins bulging on the Queen’s neck during the high notes showed every emotion.

Jungkook was so completely hypnotized by the performance that when it ended he forgot he was surrounded by a hundred strangers. The crowd whistled and cheered as the Drag Queen bowed.

Jungkook realized he never let go of the arm he grabbed at the beginning of the performance. He looked up and it belonged to Namjoon. He quickly tore his hands away and hoped the older boy didn’t notice.

The next Queen came on and got the crowd singing and dancing. They sang so loud that the room felt like it shook, Jungkook even joined in. He had finished his drink and danced with Hoseok and Yoohyeon to the beat of the song. The Queen ended the last chorus with a death drop and everyone went nuts. Sadly the set ended but the crowd cheered for the Queen as she left the stage. The host came back to the stage and introduced the next Queen.

“She’s a natural beauty, but don’t let that pretty face fool ya. Everyone, Miss Worldwide!”

Their group of friends cheered along with the rest of the crowd and Miss Worldwide strutted onto the stage. Seokjin turned so his back faced the audience. A piano and strings began to play and Yoohyeon immediately smacked Jungkook on the back.

“Is this _‘I will show you’_ by Ailee?“ She jumped up and down in excitement.

Seokjin turned around with a pair of black rimmed glasses on and lip synced to the emotional lyrics. He made his way down the stage stairs and started to caress the faces of people in the audience and made exaggerated faces of longing and sadness as he passed them. The song started to pick up and before the chorus he stepped back on stage and threw his glasses off into the crowd. The big chorus came and he took off his feather wig and underneath a black wig was revealed. The crowd screamed and he whipped his hair back and forth as he danced the choreography to the chorus.

A chair was placed on stage and a lucky audience member was brought up to be berated by Seokjin for the rest of the song. He even threw white roses at the person before sitting on their lap and messing up their hair. Everyone cheered for Miss Worldwide as she left the stage.

The bar suddenly felt like it had more people inside and Jungkook asked Yoohyeon if it seemed more crowded to her too.

“Yeah, a super popular Queen is on next so it makes sense.”

Jungkook was being pushed and pulled with the current of people and he started to feel uneasy. A man next to him was shouting to talk to someone right beside him and a woman had just stepped on his foot. Jungkook didn’t like how small the room felt and how hot it was getting due to the overflow of people. He tugged on Yoohyeon’s arm.

“I’m going to the bathroom to get away for a bit.”

Yoohyeon understood. “You want me to wait outside the bathroom?”

“No it’s alright I’ll be back soon.”

He found his way to the bathroom and luckily it was empty because of all the excitement on stage. He looked at the mirror and saw himself covered in sweat. His makeup was a bit smudged but he still looked pretty decent. The music was muffled behind the doors and he tried his best to focus on his breathing instead. Breathe in, breathe out. He repeated a mantra instead his head, _‘you’re ok, this will be over soon, just breathe’_. He said the words again and again until he felt calm. He looked at himself in the mirror and smiled in accomplishment.

“I did it.”

He was proud of himself for getting his shit together. The old him would’ve left instead but he didn’t want to give up so quickly. He was having fun and he wasn’t even drunk yet. The night was still young and he wanted to take lots of pictures to send to Jimin and show Taehyung. He wanted his friends to see how he didn’t let the anxiety win.

Jungkook decided after a couple more minutes that he felt good enough to go back out. Someone entered the bathroom and he flinched at the sudden company. The man noticed Jungkook’s reaction and smirked.

“Sorry to scare you.”

Jungkook stood up straight. “It’s alright.” He started for the door but the man stood in front of him.

“I haven’t seen you around here before.”

“It’s.. my first time here.” Jungkook fidgeted.

The man took a step closer. “Baby’s first gay bar huh?” He leaned in. “Experience any other firsts tonight?”

Jungkook wanted to leave. He averted his eyes and didn’t answer the man and hoped he’d get the message and leave him alone. But it didn’t work. The man put his hand on Jungkook’s waist and whispered in his ear.

“Ever get a blowjob in a bathroom?” The man squeezed his hip.

It felt like a lump was in his throat. Jungkook wanted to push the guy off him but his body wouldn’t move. He was petrified. Jungkook worked out, he had the abs to show for it and he knew there was no way the lanky man in front of him could win over him in strength. But no matter how hard he willed his body to move, he was still frozen in place.

“N-no..” Jungkook closed his eyes wishing the man away.

“Don’t be nervous baby boy.” He started to move his hand over his waist.

“Stop.” He whimpered.

The doors opened and he saw familiar faces. Everything happened so fast. He heard a low voice yell _‘You son of a bitch!’_ and the man in front of him was violently pulled off him and thrown to the floor. Jungkook covered his ears as the yelling was just too much. He heard a muffled _‘You don’t fucking touch him! You don’t touch anyone!’_ and other yells of _‘Stop!’_. Jungkook closed his eyes again and hoped it’d all go away.

After what felt like hours it was finally quiet. He cautiously opened his eyes and saw Yoohyeon, Yoongi and Namjoon standing in the room. On the floor was the creep who bothered him with his nose covered in blood.

“Jesus Christ Namjoon. I think you broke his nose.” Yoongi said in a distressed voice.

Jungkook looked to Namjoon and saw his right hand’s knuckles were covered in blood. Yoohyeon stood close to Jungkook and held his hand.

“Jungkook? You alright?”

“I…” He locked eyes with Namjoon and his heart hurt at the sight of his guilty expression. “I want to go home.”

“Ok I’ll go with you.”

“No Yoohyeon, stay here with Handong. I’ll just take a taxi home.”

Namjoon took a step towards him. “I’ll take you home. I came here in my car.” He looked to Yoongi. “Can you tell Hoseok he lost his designated driver?”

Yoongi nodded. “He can ride with me and Seokjin.”

Jungkook knew there was no arguing with a safe ride home so he meekly followed Namjoon out the bathroom. But as soon as he saw the crowd his anxiety was back. He reached for Namjoon’s arm.

“Can we.. hold hands? The crowd is overwhelming.”

“No problem.” He held onto Jungkook’s hand tight as they made their way through the sea of people.

The moment they stepped outside Jungkook felt like he could finally breathe. Namjoon still gripped the younger boy’s hand tight as they walked to his car. Once they got in, Namjoon looked to Jungkook with those guilty eyes again.

“This is all my fault. When I invited you I could see how you hesitated. I should’ve let you feel comfortable enough to tell me you don’t like clubs.” He fidgeted with the keys in his hands. “Yoohyeon told me you have social anxiety. I’m sorry I forced you to come.”

“When the fuck did you force me to come?”

Namjoon looked perplexed at Jungkook’s response. “I..”

“That’s because you didn’t. If anyone forced anything on me it was that piece of shit you punched.”

Namjoon bit his bottom lip and slowly nodded his head. He started the car and they were soon on the road. It was silent in the car for a few minutes until Namjoon broke the silence.

“I hadn’t done that in a long time, punching someone that is.”

Jungkook perked up at the chance of conversation, the silence before becoming unsettling. “Did you used to do that a lot.”

“Yeah actually…” Namjoon was lost in his thoughts for a moment. “ My childhood was rough so once I was in my teens I ended up taking it out on people. But I made sure to only punch assholes because, ya know.. karma.”

“I never thought of you as having a past like that.”

“Most people don’t know. I’m not very coordinated so why would people think I used to be a part of a bad crowd?“ He laughed. “But it wasn’t natural for me. I was never proud of that part of my past.”

“You’ve grown up. It’s alright to have a complicated past. You’ve grown from it and ended up as a nice clumsy dork. True character development right there.”

“I should be the one comforting you but instead you’re comforting me. How did that happen?”

“I’m fine. I’m more angry than anything else. But I think you punching him helped. So thanks.” Jungkook started to feel a bit drowsy.

“Well, you’re welcome then.”

____________________________________

The last thing Jungkook remembered was sitting in Namjoon’s car. He was in his bed in a tangle of blankets when he woke up. Luckily he didn’t drink a lot last night so there was no nasty hangover to greet him this morning.

Jungkook stumbled out of bed and realized he was still in the clothes he was wearing last night. The sheer shirt was a wrinkled mess and the fishnets had left indentations on his skin. After changing into some sweats he heard banging coming from the kitchen. He wondered if it was Jimin but remembered that he wasn’t supposed to be back until late afternoon. But once he smelled something burning he thought that he must’ve slept late and Jimin was back making lunch (and failing at it).

Jungkook fixed his bed head and opened his door. The smell of burnt food was even more apparent now.

“Jimin, what is burning?”

Out walked Namjoon holding a spatula. He was wearing an apron over the clothes he wore at the bar.

“Sorry about the smell. I was making omelets.”

“Um I didn’t realize you were here.”

“Oh yeah, you feel asleep in my car so I brought you up. You were kind of in and out of sleep but you gave me the keys to let you in.” Namjoon went back to the omelet and flipped it, the edges being slightly burnt. “You kept calling for me so I ended up sleeping on the couch. Sorry to surprise you.”

“I… was calling you?”

“For simple stuff like water and more blankets. And then you got overheated so I had to find a fan.“

“Well. That’s embarrassing.” Jungkook covered his face with his hands. Maybe he _was_ a little drunk last night.

“Not as embarrassing as me trying to cook breakfast. I burned the last omelet but I ate it because I hate wasting food.” He turned off the stove. “Yours is done. It’s still not the best but it’s an improvement from the last one I made.” He motioned for Jungkook to sit down.

“You didn’t have to go through the trouble but.. thank you.”

“Not a problem, Jungkookie.” He set the plated omelet and utensils in front of the younger boy.

Eager to try, he cut a piece and stuffed it in his mouth. He immediately coughed at the amount of spices added to the egg. Namjoon rushed over to him in worry.

“Oh god are you alright?”

“I’m alright I just ate it too fast.” He took another bite but anticipated the spiciness this time. “What’d you season it with?”

“I saw your spices and used a bit of chili flakes. It looked really nice against the yellow too.”

Jungkook questioned if Namjoon even knew the basics of cooking but took another bite of the omelet made from flames. He looked up after swallowing a bite and saw Namjoon taking the apron off.

“You heading out?”

“Yeah. I need to do some recording today.”

“Sorry for making you stay and take care of me.”

“You’re like another little brother to me, Jungkookie. Don’t worry about it.” He patted the top of Jungkook’s head. “I’ll see ya around!”

Namjoon shut the door and Jungkook was left in silence. Jeon Jungkook almost never cries for himself, he cries when his friend is hurt or someone is cruel to an animal. He could handle the the crazy spices inside his omelet, even if they almost made his eyes water. He could even deal with the asshole who harassed him in the bar's bathroom. But the moment his first love crushed all his hopes of something blooming between them he couldn’t hold it in.

So Jungkook cried alone in his apartment as the older boy and everything he wished he could have with him, walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. Namjoon sees Jungkook as a little brother and Jungkook cried. I'm sorry zgkakgskslhs
> 
>  
> 
> The first Drag Queen is literally just Sasha Velour but with hair.


	7. It's My Birthday I Can Mope If I Want To

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty boys and Birthday gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in one sitting again so pls beware of possible misspellings and poor grammar !!!

Jimin told Jungkook that first loves never work out and that he was glad he had some kind of closure with Namjoon. Jungkook thought that was bullshit but thanked Jimin anyway because his friend was only trying to soothe his broken heart.

Jungkook began to wonder if first loves lasting was more like winning the lottery than anything else. And he surely didn’t win the lottery but why does it have to be like a lottery anyway? Isn’t someone loving you back at all like winning some impossible prize as well? Love in general doesn’t always work out, so once again Jungkook called bullshit.

His Hyung was more worried about the asshole from the bar. Jungkook understood the concern but told him he’ll get over it. The incident with that lanky piece of shit did bother him but his aching heart outweighed the frustration. Jungkook honestly wanted to hide away forever but instead dived into his college work to cope.

The young boy had only started college three days prior, and he was thankful for the distraction. It was a completely different kind of stress to handle but he was handling it. He liked every class and of course had that one shit professor, it wouldn’t be college without at least one.

It was day four and Jungkook hadn’t made any friends yet. On many occasions he thought up of ways to approach someone but never felt confident enough to follow through. Jungkook was never good at conversation but trying to talk to stressed college students was proving to be an entirely new challenge for him.

The struggle of trying to make friends brought him right back to his middle school and high school days. Jungkook was even more painfully shy than he was now, some kids even thought he was mute. Middle school was a very lonely time for him and he didn’t expect much to change in high school. But meeting Jimin changed his social life completely.

He finally understood what it meant to be peer pressured his freshman year of high school. Classmates saw that he hung out with Jimin so he started to get a lot of unwanted attention. A group of boys took a liking to him and he became part of their group. And before long he was pushed to start dating a girl that confessed to him.

Jungkook thought there was something wrong with him when he kissed his girlfriend and didn’t feel anything. She got angry with him when he didn’t want to touch her breasts and broke up with him. Jungkook was continually pressured into relationships with girls and without fail they’d dump him for _‘not being man enough’_.

It was only when he saw Namjoon for the first time that he realized he wasn’t broken. Jungkook knew that significance only made it harder for him to move on. He tried to channel his love for him and thank him instead. He wanted to someday be strong enough to tell Namjoon that he was his first love and to thank him for making him realize he could love someone.

Jungkook had been zoning out and hadn’t realized it was finally lunch time. He was dying for some human interaction and excitedly gathered his things to go eat with Jimin. As he got closer to the cafeteria the crowd of people grew larger. A group of girls cut in front of him and he stepped out of the way. Only a moment later someone behind Jungkook pushed past him with so much force that he lost his balance and fell. His right knee broke his fall and it throbbed as he tried to stand up. Groups of people stared and walked right past him, nobody wanting to help a stranger.

Jungkook put all his weight on his left knee as he grabbed the wall for stability. As he continued to struggle he heard a deep voice come from behind him.

“Are you alright?” A beautiful boy was now facing him.

“I.. uh. I fell.”

“Yeah, I saw that guy run you over. Looked like your knee got it bad?”

Jungkook tried to push his humiliation aside for a moment to respond. “Yeah.”

“Let me help you up.” The boy lifted him with ease and Jungkook now had the chance to look at the other boy properly.

He was tall and his skin was a bit on the tan side. Jungkook mentally kicked himself for having such an obvious type. He also noticed how nice the boy’s smile was but was disappointed in himself for looking for dimples.

“Do you want to see a nurse?“

“Uhhhh I was heading to lunch and I don’t want to stand up my friend.”

“Ok I’ll walk you there.”

Luckily it was a short walk but the second Jimin saw Jungkook his friend babied him like a child. The kind boy helped him sit down and before Jungkook could thank him, the boy said he’d be right back. Jimin gave him a puzzled look to which he gave right back to his friend.

“Does this mean I have to get your food for you?” Jimin sighed.

“Sorry.” He laughed.

Jungkook sat alone waiting for quite some time, the food line being so long he couldn’t even see his friend at the end. Jimin finally came back with a couple trays full of food and Jungkook was ready to dig in. Before taking his first bite he was greeted by the kind boy again. He was breathing heavily like he had just ran a marathon.

“Here.” He held out an ice pack wrapped in a thin cloth. “Put this on your knee so it doesn’t swell up.”

Jungkook was shocked by the kindness. “Thank you so much..” He placed it on his knee and felt instant relief.

“It was nothing.” He smiled. “I’m Mingyu by the way.”

“Jungkook.”

“Well Jungkook, nice to meet you. Be careful of human bulldozers next time, ok?” He let out a low chuckle as he walked away with a small wave.

Jungkook turned to see Jimin giving him a soul sucking glare.

“Mind to explain what that whole thing was?”

“Your guess is as good as mine..” Jungkook finally started to eat his lunch.

“The gay gods have blessed you with a pretty boy and yet you’re so calm?”

“Hyung, It hasn’t even been a week since I got my heart broken.”

“I know but it’s probably not a bad idea to hang out with a pretty boy.”

“It’s my birthday tomorrow so promise me you’ll let me mope if I want to ok? No pestering me about befriending pretty boys.“

“Gosh, alright. If that’s what you really want.” Jimin agreed reluctantly but soon had a guilty expression. “Sorry for pushing you, I just hate seeing you sad.”

“I know you mean well.” He sighed. “It’s just harder because I started to actually get to know him and I fell for him even more. Instead he’s all excited because he’s got another little brother.” Jungkook frowned as he ate a spoonful of his stew.

“ I’m sorry, Jungkookie.“

“Ughhhhh he started calling me that too.” Jungkook held his head. “Do I have to get rid of my coffee mug too?”

“You’re coffee mug?”

“He drank out of it and now I think about him every time I use it…”

“Jungkook….”

“I know, I’m pathetic but I can’t help it.”

“You’re not pathetic but with time you’ll feel better. Just put the mug in the top cabinet in the kitchen with the nice plates we never use. That sound good?”

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

_________________________________

It was the morning of Jungkook’s birthday and he had already received a few happy birthday texts. Jimin surprised him with American style pancakes for breakfast and set a nicely wrapped present next to the plate.

“Happy Birthday Jungkookie.”

“Oh my… Hyung. Thank you.”

“Ahh come over here and open this!” He pulled Jungkook to the table and sat him down. “This is an extra. I’ll give you your actual gift later.”

“What? I get two gifts?”

“Just open it!”

“Alright!”

He happily ripped apart the wrapping paper and inside was a plain white box. Upon opening the box he saw a black coffee mug inside. It had a single gold star as the design, simplistic but beautiful.

“I love it.”

“I already put the other mug away so use this instead. I saw it yesterday before coming home and thought it matched you perfectly.” Jimin smiled wide.

“Thank you, Hyung.” He stood up to hug his friend tight.

“You’re welcome. Now eat your pancakes while they’re still hot.”

Jungkook was thankful he only had a couple classes in the morning and was free for the rest of the day. He didn’t have any concrete plans for his birthday but he had a feeling Jimin and Taehyung had something up their sleeves. The birthday boy was planning to meet Jimin at 3pm but had some free time for the time being.

Jungkook was wandering the school halls as he noticed a bulletin board. There was a poster for the art club that peaked his interest and he was reminded of a conversation he had with Jimin the other day.

_“Jungkookie, you should get a hobby.”_

_“But I play games isn’t that a hobby?_

_“No, something where you’re around people or out of the apartment.”_

_“I go to the gym, that’s out of the apartment.”_

_“No. I don’t know? Something fun.”_

_“But I don’t know how to have fun.” He paused. “Out in public that is.”_

_“You’re killing me here.”_

Jungkook wondered if Jimin meant something like a club all along. He used to draw a lot in middle school but hadn’t gone back to it since. He looked at the poster and saw that it was asking for people to join but he noticed it had an older date on the bottom. Was Jungkook too late and all the spots were filled? Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be, he thought. Jungkook turned to walk away but heard someone call his name. He looked to see and standing behind him was the boy from yesterday, Mingyu.

“It is you!” He smiled and took a step closer to Jungkook.

“Oh hi.”

“You looking at the art club poster?”

“Uh yeah.”

“Sorry we don’t have the new ones up. That’s actually what I’m doing right now.” Mingyu held up a stack of papers. “Here.” He handed one to Jungkook and replaced the old one.

“So you’re in the club.”

“Since my first year. This year is exciting though, we are making a webtoon.”

Jungkook looked down and saw the poster mention the webtoon project. “That sounds really cool.”

“Thinking about joining?”

“You’re still accepting new members?”

“We always are!” He smiled brightly.

“I’ll… think about it.”

“Take you’re time. Keep that poster, it has all the information you need.” He wiggled the stack of papers in his hand. “Well, I need to take these and replace all the old ones. I’ll see you around Jungkook.”

After Mingyu left he stared at the paper in his hands and he knew he had to join.

Jungkook only asked for the day off because Jimin told him he deserved to have some fun on his birthday. Instead of organizing books he’d be getting sick after eating too much cake, or at least that was the plan. But a part of him wanted a boring night of work and a simple night in. It was more scary to think that if he went out he might bump into Namjoon. Jungkook tried to be rational because the city isn’t that small but nevertheless it still worried him.

Jungkook hadn’t seen Namjoon at the bookstore since that morning and he thanked the universe for sparing him of that misery. He knew he’d fall apart seeing Namjoon and yet a part of him was dying inside to have the older boy beside him. He was both terrified to see him and terrified to be away from him. Namjoon was proof to him that love is real and deep inside Jungkook was scared he could never feel that for anyone else.

Jimin had kept him waiting for fifteen minutes out in the hot September afternoon. Fall seemed so far away as the sweat built up and Jungkook had to wipe his damp hair off his forehead. Finally in the distance he saw Jimin making his way to him. They were meeting up at one of Jungkook’s favorite restaurants and he was more than ready to eat.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!”

“I need air conditioning save your apology for later.” Jungkook scurried inside and let out a sigh of happiness as the cold air hit his face.

Jimin followed and after a few minutes they were seated and given menus. The two boys ordered and waited for their food to arrive. Jungkook pouted as he sipped on some soda.

“I wish Tae and Yoohyeon were here.”

“We’ll meet Tae later. He’ll be finishing up his meetings soon so we won’t miss out on too much Tae time.”

“Yeah but Yoohyeon was the only one who could cover my shift so I feel bad and we can’t hang out.” He twirled the straw around in his drink. “Should we go say hi afterwards?”

“That defeats the point of her doing your shift. Also you’d feel worse once seeing her and mope the rest of the night.”

“It’s my birthday I can mope if I want to.” He sang in the tune of It’s My Party.

“If you plan on moping to that extent then perhaps I’ll keep your birthday present.” Jimin smirked.

“Are you blackmailing me with my birthday gift?”

“Ooo birthday boy is catching on fast.”

“Hyung you’re awful.”

“No way. We’re gonna have fun with Tae later, you’ll see.”

Their food was brought out to them and the two boys immediately dug in. In mid-chew Jungkook sighed out in annoyance.

“What? It doesn’t taste good?” Jimin asked confused.

“No, it’s delicious. It’s just.. speaking of Tae..” He swallowed his food. “I haven’t told him about what Namjoon said.”

“Why in the world would you keep that from him?”

“He’s been texting me about how he’s gotten closer to his brother because he was trying to help me out. And he was so excited and said that he’s like a detective for love. I know I suck but I didn’t want to dump it on him in a text since we’ve all been so busy.”

“You’re worried about Tae’s feelings when you’re the one with the broken heart? Jungkookie, you need to learn to be a little selfish sometimes. I bet Tae would feel bad and want to comfort you instead.”

“I know he would.” Jungkook nodded. “I’ll… tell him tonight.”

“You can wait until tomorrow you know?”

“No. I need to stop keeping things from people just because I’m afraid they’ll feel hurt.”

“It’s hard to change habits like that so don’t push yourself too hard.”

“I won’t.”

They finished dinner an hour later, both boys not realizing how long they ate and talked. Taehyung would be done at 5pm so Jungkook and Jimin walked around to shop. Jimin bought a few things while Jungkook just enjoyed his friend’s company. It was getting close to 5pm when Jimin got a text from Taehyung saying to meet him at a secret location. Here comes the mystery birthday surprise Jungkook was waiting for.

“Once we get in the taxi I’ll put a blindfold on you so you can’t guess where we’re going.”

“You’re kidding me.”

Jimin held up at cute pink bunny eyemask. “Not at all.”

Just like Jimin said, as soon as Jungkook buckled up he was handed the eyemask to put on. It was awkward and he wondered what the taxi driver thought about the situation. The ride wasn’t very long and soon the car came to a stop. His door was opened and he heard an explosion of giggles.

“I can’t believe you got him to wear it.” Taehyung’s voice was rough and he coughed to clear his throat. “I’m gonna help you out as Jimin pays the taxi driver, alright?”

“You guys are crazy.” He ducked his head with the help of Taehyung and stepped out of the car.

”You’re life would be boring without us.“

“You’re not wrong.”

“Taetae, stairs.” Jimin said in an anxious voice.

“Oh. Ok Jungkook there are stairs here so go slowly.”

“Thanks for saving me.”

“You’re welcome.” Said Taehyung.

“Not you!” Jungkook heard Jimin laugh behind him.

Taehyung opened the doors and Jungkook stepped inside. He heard loud but muffled music and knew exactly where he was.

“Hey I know we’re at a karaoke can I take this thing off?”

“Oh come on why ruin the surprise. Fake a gasp for me once we get in a room please, I worked too hard for this.” Taehyung whined.

Jungkook laughed. “I’ll give my best fake surprised face.”

“Thank you kind sir.”

The group of friends made it to their door and Jimin tapped Jungkook’s shoulder.

“You can take it off now.”

Taehyung opened the door as Jungkook pulled off his eyemask. He gasped in shook as inside the room there were balloons and a cake.

“SURPRISE!”

Jungkook smiled wide as he saw that Yoohyeon and Handong were there and then did a double-take upon seeing Seokjin. As he scanned the room his stomach dropped when he saw Yoongi and Hoseok, knowing who’d he see next. It felt like someone was squeezing Jungkook’s heart as he saw Namjoon standing in the back of the room cutely holding a balloon.

He bolted.

“Shit.” Jimin whispered as he grabbed Taehyung to follow Jungkook. “Uhhh we’ll be right back.” The rest of the group shared looks of confusion but didn’t question it.

Jungkook ran right back to the outside of the karaoke. He stood on the stairs he almost tripped on before and tried to breathe. Only a few moments later the doors opened and his two friends were standing with him.

"Why did you invite Namjoon and his friends?" Jimin spat out.

“What? Why is that bad? What the fuck just happened?” Taehyung asked in a frenzy.

“I…” Jungkook took a deep breath. “I didn’t tell you but Namjoon only sees me as a little brother.”

“Wait. Did you confess?”

“No, he just said it in passing. I was devastated and hadn’t seen him since then so I just… wasn’t expecting that.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I never would’ve invited the rest of them if I knew that.”

“It’s because I’m stupid and thought you’d be sad since you were hanging out with your brother more because of my crush.”

“You’re right.” Taehyung roughly pulled Jungkook in for a hug. “You are stupid.”

He held Taehyung tight. “I’m sorry.”

“So. What now?” Jimin asked uneasily.

“We could just tell them you feel sick and secretly invite Yoohyeon and Handong to your apartment for a chill birthday party.” Taehyung suggested.

“No.” Jungkook sighed. “I’ll have to see him at some point, might as well be now.”

Jimin looked at Jungkook with concern. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” He opened the doors and walked inside with a smile.

It was awkward when they came back but luckily Yoohyeon lightened up the mood by attacking Jungkook with a hug.

“We’re you so surprised you ran off?” Yoohyeon asked with a laugh.

“Yeah, I’m terrible with surprises.” He lied.

“Birthday boy please sit down so we can eat this cake. It’s been taunting me this whole time.” Seokjin waved for Jungkook to sit beside him.

“He’s already stolen a lick of frosting don’t be fooled.” Hoseok said as he folded his arms.

Jungkook tried not to look at Namjoon as he sat down and everyone gathered around him. The cake was in the middle of the table and he noticed it had a toy Iron Man in the center. Jimin lit the candles and Taehyung turned off the lights. Everyone sang Happy Birthday, in the most loud and obnoxious way possible of course. It was silent after the singing stopped but someone cleared their throat to speak.

“Make a wish.” Namjoon said in a sweet voice.

Jungkook closed his eyes hoping nobody saw his eyes beginning to water as he tried to think of a wish. He really tried but a few moments passed and he couldn’t think of anything to wish for. The only thing that was clear was he couldn’t stop thinking about Namjoon once he heard his voice. So he decided instead of making a wish for himself, he’d wish something for Namjoon.

**_I wish Namjoon finds someone special_ **

He blew out the candles and everyone cheered. Seokjin didn’t waste a second and began cutting slices of the cake. The first slice went to Jungkook but he claimed the second slice before anyone else could.

“Did you want to open presents now too?” Yoohyeon asked as she licked frosting off her top lip.

“Oh oh! Me first!” Taehyung jumped in excitement. He grabbed a decent sized box covered in cute dog wrapping paper and placed it in front of Jungkook.

“Why is it big? It better not be something really expensive.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “It’s my money! Just open it and you’ll see.”

Jungkook ripped the wrapping paper and opened the box. Inside were the shoes he borrowed from Taehyung to wear at the Drag show.

“How did you..”

“I noticed you drooling over them. See, I pay attention to details.”

“Tae. I love them.” He smiled wide.

“Mine is next.” Jimin handed him a small rectangular box.

Jungkook opened it and inside was a bracelet. It had a silver band and black leather ties.

“It’s beautiful.”

“Turn it over.”

Engraved on the silver band was, _You Never Walk Alone_. It was something Jimin told Jungkook back when he was in high school, something that saved him. And it saved him now.

“This is perfect. I’ll never take it off.” He fumbled as he tried to tie it on his wrist but got it on his second try.

He opened the rest of the presents one by one. Yoohyeon and Handong gave him a soft black sweatshirt, nicer than everything he currently owned. Seokjin gave him a book called Covering by Kenji Yoshino. He told Jungkook it was a book that helped him when he was his age. Yoongi gave him a physical copy of his mixtape while Hoseok gave the boy a fluffy dog plushie.

Namjoon’s gift was last and Jungkook had no idea what to expect. He handed him a small but thick rectangular box. Namjoon obviously did the wrapping job, using way too much tape over the mess. Jungkook struggled to open it but after a lot of force he managed to get it open.

It was perfume. Jungkook looked at the pretty bottle in awe.

“Tae told me you’ve always wanted a perfume that smelled like soap. I couldn’t find a soap one but this one smells like fresh laundry.” Namjoon shyly smiled.

Jungkook was speechless. It was such a thoughtful gift from someone he didn’t even know that well and he wondered how someone as sweet as Namjoon was real.

“Wow. Thank you.”

“Spray it to see if you like it.”

“O-oh ok.” Jungkook opened the top and sprayed it on his wrist. He was surprised but it really did smell like fresh laundry. “It smells so good.” He smiled wide and accidentally locked eyes with Namjoon.

The older boy smiled right back at him and Jungkook knew that he’d only fall more in love with Namjoon the more he saw that smile. He also knew now that he’d always be a little bit in love with Namjoon even when he technically moves on. That’s just how first loves work and in that moment Jungkook decided he was ok with that.


	8. Let's Shake On It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hamburgers and fine art

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote all Saturday and just finished this now. I am currently dead. I think this is my longest chapter as well??
> 
> As usual pls beware of poor grammar and possible misspellings!

It was the morning after Jungkook’s surprise party and he was greeted with a mind slitting headache as he woke up. Everyone made sure to end the night early (10pm to be exact) but that didn’t stop the drinking. He promised himself he wouldn’t drink too much but as the night went on he forgot that he had to make up for taking his birthday day off by working the morning shift the next day. It was 7am and Jungkook wanted to sleep for a week.

Today was going to be a long day. Jungkook also had afternoon classes and he knew he’d be sleeping in a least one of his classes. He was jealous of Jimin being able to sleep in while he barely felt like a human, even after drinking coffee.

The drained boy was about to walk out the door when he remembered about the perfume Namjoon gave him. Jungkook very much wanted to wear it today but his body felt like it was weighted down with a ton of bricks, so was taking his shoes off and digging through the drunken mess of his room to find it worth it? Apparently so because he did just that. To his surprise he found the bottle relatively quickly and he sprayed it on his wrists and neck before walking out the door.

Jungkook made it to the used bookstore in one piece and clocked in just in time. Seokjin was in the break room nursing a free coffee like he did every day. He looked just as polished and handsome as usual and Jungkook scoffed.

“How do you look so untouched from the craziness of last night?”

Seokjin laughed in delight. “I’ve had lots of practice aaand,” He drew out. “It helps that I can take my alcohol pretty well.”

“I feel like someone ran me over with a truck.”

“Honey, you look it.”

“Great.” He sighed.

“You’ll get better at it.” Seokjin stood up and patted Jungkook’s shoulder. “Oh, are you wearing the perfume Namjoon gave you?”

“Yes I am.” Jungkook blushed.

“Oh boy, you’re in deep.”

“What… do you mean?”

“I mean, Namjoon probably doesn’t deserve such a beautiful boy like you being in love with his dorky ass.”

Jungkook choked on his saliva. “H-how do-”

“I’m not blind. I knew the day Namjoon came to the store and he already knew you.”

Jungkook felt embarrassed that he was so easy to read. “If you know does that mean he knows too?” The boy panicked.

“No way in hell. That boy is as dense as a rock.”

“Oh thank god.”

“I wouldn’t say Namjoon’s dense-ness is something to be relieved about. Having him as a boyfriend would be a nightmare.”

“I guess I don’t have to worry about that since he sees me as a little brother.” Jungkook tried to hide his sadness.

“Did he actually say that to you as you told him you like him?”

“Um. No. I never told him.”

“I thought so. Don’t be stupid like him when it comes to love.” Seokjin downed the rest of his coffee.“ And that’s my best gay advice to you. Now get to work.” He smiled as he left the break room.

All morning Jungkook thought about what Seokjin told him. Was Seokjin cheering him on? The boy felt like his only option was to move on but was he actually making a stupid move by doing that? Jungkook never wanted to let go but he thought that was the right thing to do. _Was_ that the right thing to do?

Jungkook decided to skip clocking out for lunch and to eat after his shift. But once it was around 1:30pm the boy’s stomach started to growl so loud he swore his coworkers heard it. He prayed for the last half hour to pass quickly so he could eat a crappy supermarket lunch.

There wasn’t much left for the boy to do so he decided to dust the bookshelves. Jungkook busied himself for the rest of his shift and was happy when he saw that he only had a few minutes left.

He heard a loud ruckus at the entrance and peaked from behind the shelves and immediately hid when he saw Namjoon at the door. He heard both Seokjin and Namjoon yell in annoyance as something hit the floor.

“Kim Namjoon how dare you drop food in front of me?” Seokjin shrieked.

“It should be fine it didn’t fall out.”

Seokjin huffed in annoyance at Namjoon’s clumsiness. “Jungkook? Could you come to the break room?” He called out.

The boy’s heart felt like it popped out of his chest. “Yes!” He squeaked out.

He set the duster down and made his way to the break room. Seokjin lingered at the doorway and pointed Jungkook inside. Namjoon was at the table with a large bag from a fast food restaurant.

“Jungkookie! I brought lunch.” His dimples showed as he smiled at the younger boy.

“T-thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” Jungkook turned to Seokjin for support but received a wink as his supervisor walked away.

“Come on, sit and eat. And then I’ll drive you over to the college.”

Jungkook sat down but looked at Namjoon in confusion. “I don’t want to sound rude but.. why are you here?”

“Well.” He laughed sweetly. “Jin complained to me in a text that you were in a zombie state and that you skipped lunch and still had classes afterwards.” He handed Jungkook a wrapped hamburger and fries. “I thought you’d faint or something so I got lunch. Not the healthiest but it’s still food.” He shrugged as he ate a fry.

Jungkook stared at the food then looked back to Namjoon. “But aren’t you busy?”

Namjoon nodded. “Yeah I am but I was planning to go out to get food anyway, so it’s not like I’m going out of my way.”

Jungkook finally ate a few fries and they were a bit limp but they still tasted like heaven. “Thank you. I was starving.”

He opened the wrapping on the hamburger and took a big bite and moaned in happiness. He noticed there weren’t two drinks, just the one Namjoon was currently sipping on. The older boy caught Jungkook staring and he laughed.

“If you’re wondering why there is only one drink it’s because I thought if I got two it’d be too much to carry and I’d definitely drop it.” He thought for a moment. “And I still did..”

Namjoon handed Jungkook the drink and he almost immediately took a sip before he stopped. Would this be the closest he’d ever get to kissing Namjoon? A stupid indirect kiss? Well, so be it. Jungkook took a large sip from the straw and felt childish by the fact that his heart started to beat faster from the simple act.

They ate up their lunch and said goodbye to Seokjin before leaving. Namjoon lead Jungkook to his car and once they were inside he started it up and put the radio on.

“You go to the same college Tae used to go to, right?” Namjoon looked to Jungkook and got a nod in response.

It was quiet in the car for awhile before Namjoon started up conversation.

“You know what’s a bit strange?” He paused. “Tae has told me so much about you that I already feel like I know you really well but, the truth is I actually don’t.” He breathed out. “But I’d like to change that.”

Jungkook looked at Namjoon with wide eyes, not knowing how to respond. Instead Namjoon continued to speak.

“I guess I just want to let you know that I consider you a part of our friend group. Even Yoongi has talked about you, he was praising your singing from the karaoke all morning.” He smiled fondly. “Also, I check up on my friends if they’re hungry or in a zombie state so,” He turned to smile at Jungkook. “I hope you’re ok with that.”

Jungkook was speechless. He almost wanted to cry but he didn’t even know what for. He stared at Namjoon’s side profile as he drove and tried to articulate a response.

“I’ve never had a lot of friends growing up, none until Jimin actually. It’s a little overwhelming to be accepted by a big group of friends but,” He paused and looked at the older boy’s side profile again. “I’m thankful.”

“I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up either. It was more like a bunch of us were using each other to get ahead. For me, my first real friend was Yoongi. It look awhile for me to feel comfortable with letting other people in my life but it was worth it.”

“I have one condition.” Jungkook stated.

“And what’s that?”

“I don’t want to be your little brother. I want to be your friend.” Jungkook bravely said.

“Got it.” Namjoon laughed at himself. “I must’ve gone overboard with the big brother thing huh?”

“Not too bad.” He smiled.

Jungkook was glad his condition went smoothly and Namjoon didn’t ask any questions. The boy would much rather have Namjoon see him as a friend rather than a little brother, it definitely helped his pride.

Namjoon dropped Jungkook off at the front of the college and told him to study hard before he drove off. He took out his phone and looked at the time and saw he was pretty early since he didn’t have to take the bus.

Jungkook undid a few of the buttons on his shirt, still wearing his work outfit as he walked through campus. He opened his backpack and pulled out the poster for the art club and decided it was good opportunity to see if anyone was in the room. It was a longer walk then he expected, almost getting lost once. Finally after asking someone for directions he found the art club’s room.

He knocked on the door. “Hello?”

“Come in.” A boy’s voice answered behind the door.

Jungkook opened the door and walked inside. He spotted a boy hunched over looking through a pile of papers. “Ah, I found it!” The boy yelled in excitement.

The room was empty excluding the two of them. Jungkook looked around the room and it was covered in drawings and paintings. One wall looked like it was entirely dedicated to being a storyboard. Jungkook wasn’t sure if the boy knew a stranger was in the club room so he announced himself.

“Um, hello. I’m Jungkook.”

The boy sprung up in surprise. “Oh! Hi, I’m sorry I thought you were someone else. I’m Minghao.” The boy walked over to him to greet him.

“It’s alright. Sorry I surprised you.”

Minghao was the same height as Jungkook and he was just as pretty if not more pretty than Mingyu. His lips were lightly stained red and he wore a single dangly earring on his left ear. Jungkook was a bit intimidated by the boy in front of him, he looked delicate yet fierce.

“Are you here to join?”

“Yes. I was given a poster by a Mingyu.”

“Ohhh so Mingyu recruited you!” Minghao held up the piece of paper he found earlier. “I’m actually here to grab this for him, he forgot to bring it to get it copied.”

“Should I come back another time then?”

“If you have time you could come with me to see him. He runs the club now so if you plan to join you’ll need to talk to him.”

Jungkook looked at the time and he still had a half an hour left before his class started. “I’ll go with you.”

“Ok great!” Minghao locked the door behind them and they made their way to the library.

On the walk Minghao didn’t say a word and Jungkook not being able to stand the silence spoke first.

“Has the club room always been so far away from the art department?”

“No actually, this year it was moved.“ He sighed. “More than half the past club members graduated so that’s why Mingyu runs it now. The week before classes started we had to move all our stuff down here because other clubs and classes needed the space. Since our size went down so much they could get away with it.” Minghao said the last sentence in disgust.

“That sucks.” He frowned.

“Mingyu came up with the idea to do a webtoon to get more members again. The paper he forgot was a list of possible storylines that people could choose for the webtoon.” He handed Jungkook the paper.

There were fives short summaries for each storyline. The fourth one caught Jungkook’s attention immediately.

_Doyoung has been in love with Nayeon since middle school but after going to the same college as her he realizes her true cruel nature and begins to fall for her handsome soft spoken older brother._

“Are you even allowed to do number four?”

“Why? Are you homophobic because if so you can leave.” Minghao glared.

Jungkook let out a nervous laugh. “No definitely not. I’m gay myself.” He felt proud to say it out loud.

Minghao’s glare soon melted into a smile. “Me too, I’m actually the one who thought of that storyline.” He boasted.

“Maybe it’s my gay talking but I’ve got to say number four is my favorite one.” Jungkook smiled as Minghao burst out laughing.

The two reached the library and went to the computers to find Mingyu. Minghao pointed at the top of a head in the distance.

“There he is!”

“You know it’s him just by the top of his head?” Jungkook asked surprised.

“We’re best friends. I could probably recognize him just by his elbow or something crazy like that.”

Minghao fluffed his friend’s hair as a greeting once they reached him. Mingyu turned around and didn’t look surprised to see Jungkook.

“I take it you decided to join.” He held Minghao’s hands in place around his neck to stop the boy from ruining his hair beyond repair.

“Yes.”

“Great!” He clapped his hands together. “Would you mind if we exchanged numbers so I can give you a schedule of our meeting times and such?”

“Not at all.”

They exchanged numbers and then Jungkook saw the time.

“I’m sorry but I should probably leave now before I’m late for class.”

“No problem.” Mingyu smiled. “Oh! But before you go, did you want to come to this viewing party tonight? It’d be a good way to meet the other club members since they’ll be there.”

“A viewing party?”

“Let me explain.” Minghao cleared his throat. “Every year the art department has this viewing party. A rich kid usually hosts it. Basically it’s a collection of the work and projects from the people that graduated last year. It’s supposed to be a source of inspiration for freshman but anyone can come.”

“That sounds cool.”

“You can think about it, I’ll text you the details.” Mingyu pointed to the exit. “You should leave before we start talking again.” He laughed.

“Oh! Yeah, thanks.” He waved as he left in a rush.

Just as Jungkook predicted he slept in class. A classmate woke him up thankfully so he wasn’t late to his next class. He speed walked to his next class and plopped down at a seat in the back. He took out his phone and decided to text Jimin before class officially started.

 

**Me**

sent 4:49pm

_I was invited to a “viewing party” ?? Did you want to come with me?_

 

**Jimin Hyung**

sent 4:51pm

_I would but I’m staying late to practice a choreography. Go on without me! Make lots of friends :-D_

 

Jungkook replied that he’d think about it, since going without Jimin was a bit out of his comfort zone. He started to talk himself out of going, with very valid points he thought. First off he just partied the night before and was exhausted. Secondly it was going to be a room full of strangers and he’s known for not handling that well. Last but not least, he didn’t want to ruin Mingyu’s and Minghao’s night if he happened to have an anxiety attack. Jungkook knows how hard it is to be his friend sometimes and he doesn’t want to burden anyone if he can help it.

His phone dinged and he checked the message to see that Mingyu had sent him the address and time of the party. Jungkook went back and forth in his decision but finally settled on, _fuck it_ and he texted Mingyu back that he would be coming.

Jungkook finished all his classes successfully and rode the bus home. He hadn’t realized how proper he looked all afternoon in the button down he wore from work. He looked at himself in the mirror and made a mental note to bring a T-shirt to change into next time. He took off the button down and replaced it with his newly gifted black sweatshirt. He switched out his dark washed jeans for a pair of ripped black skinny jeans instead and wore black boots to finish it off.

He texted Mingyu if they could meet up somewhere else first because he was afraid he’d get lost. Mingyu responded with a line of thumbs up emojis and said they could meet at a subway station.

It was half past eight and the night air had a very welcoming chill to it. Jungkook walked to the station comfortably in his sweatshirt, happy that he decided to wear it.

At the entrance he saw both Mingyu and Minghao waiting a bit aways from the doors. Minghao noticed Jungkook and waved excitedly.

“Ooooh he changed his look.”

“I was actually wearing my work outfit earlier so this is my normal.”

“So you’re the _‘wears black head-to-toe’_ type, huh? Duly noted.”

Mingyu lead the way and they rode the subway to their stop. On the ride there Minghao shared an earbud with Jungkook and introduced him to some gay artists, which he was ecstatic about. They exchanged numbers as well, Minghao promising to send him a playlist.

Once off the subway they walked to a well-to-do neighborhood and searched for the house holding the party. Mingyu ended up finding it and they rung the doorbell. A very pretty girl opened the door and welcomed them inside.

Inside the house was grand and open. The lights were dim and multiple projections of photography and films covered the walls. People were walking around with wine glasses and at the far end of the space there were sculptures and paintings. Jungkook swore he was at a museum.

“Holy shit.” He breathed out.

“Right?” Minghao laughed.

They walked through the space and Jungkook was in a trance. There was a photograph that strangely spoke to him. The photo was dark and the model was under a sheer sheet. There were lights contrasting the darkness and everything seemed to shimmer.

“This is one of my favorites I’ve modeled for.”

Jungkook looked at the boy next to him startled but realized it was indeed the boy in the picture.

“It’s uh beautiful.”

“We shot this on the beach actually, you can’t tell in this picture though.” He sipped a glass of wine.

“Are there more?” Jungkook asked intrigued.

“This is just one photo from the series.“ The boy turned to Jungkook. “I’m Ten.”

“I’m Jungkook.”

“Are you a freshman?”

“Yes I am.”

“What’s your major?”

“Photography actually.”

“Hmm maybe I’ll model for you sometime.” He finished his wine and handed Jungkook his empty glass before walking off.

Jungkook wasn’t entirely sure what just happened but he knew he definitely wanted to shoot with him in the future. Minghao stood beside Jungkook and gave him a comical look.

“I can’t believe Ten said that to you. He almost never does shoots with freshman.”

“Is he well known on campus?”

“Pretty much. We’re both in the dance department and he’s magical. Also it doesn’t matter what your sexuality is because basically everyone who meets him falls in love. It’s a charm I’ll never understand.”

“How does one person have that much power?” Jungkook laughed and Minghao shrugged.

For the next half hour Mingyu introduced Jungkook to fellow art club members. Everyone was happy to have a new member and welcomed him warmly. Minghao was in a deep conversation about contemporary dance when Mingyu tapped on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“Could I talk to you for a moment?”

Jungkook was concerned with the serious tone. “Um, sure.”

They walked out of the main room and into a hallway leading to the kitchen. Mingyu lingered in the hallway then leaned against the wall as he took a large gulp of wine.

“Minghao told me that you’re gay. Was that ok?”

“Uhhh I’m not necessarily hiding it so it’s fine.”

“I’ve never had a gay friend other than Minghao before so I couldn’t ask..” he looked hesitant. “I’m sorry if this is a weird question but,” he paused. “When did you know?”

“Oh. Well… when I was 15.”

“Was there something that made you realize?”

“I never really felt like everyone else I guess but when I was 15 I saw a guy in my apartment building and I actually _felt_ something. That never happened to me before. After some time I stopped trying to explain it away and let myself just be.. me.”

Mingyu was silent and seemed to be lost in thought.

“Are you questioning?” Jungkook finally asked.

“Ughh I’m sorry I’m already dumping my life’s problems on you.”

“No it’s completely alright. You can talk to me.”

Mingyu let out a long strangled sigh. “I’ve always liked girls. I still do but.. I think I love a boy.”

“How long have you known that?”

“Since the beginning of summer.”

“Do you know if he likes boys too?”

“Oh he’s gay. Which somehow makes it harder? Because it almost feels like I could have a chance but at the same time he could still see me as only a friend.”

“I absolutely know that feeling. My first love is bi but I’m basically a kid brother to him.”

“You’re friends with your first love?”

“Yep.”

“How’s that working out?”

“It fucking sucks.”

“So… are we both in the same boat?”

“It seems so.”

“I’m gonna say mine is worse because he’s my best friend.”

Mingyu’s statement sunk in for a moment and he realized. “It’s Minghao.” Jungkook’s heart hurt for him.

“It’s Minghao.” He frowned.

“Do you have any clue that he might like you back?”

“I’m not sure. There are little moments sometimes. Like, I used to think my skintone was a bad thing but every time I put myself down he continuously called me handsome to comfort me. Maybe that’s friendship to him but to me it’s things like that that made me fall for him.”

“He obviously cares a lot about you.”

“Yeah. I want to tell him but I’m also scared he will think I’m confused or something. I’ve been his straight best friend all these years.”

“Most gay people aren’t so quick to judge someone questioning their sexuality.” Jungkook paused. “How about you tell him about you questioning your sexuality first. No confessing, just one thing at a time.”

“That..” Mingyu looked at Jungkook with hopeful eyes. “I think I can do that.”

“Good.”

“What about you?”

“ _What_ about me?”

“Are you never gonna confess?”

Jungkook shifted against the wall. “I kinda want to get over him before I ever tell him that he was my first love.”

“Why?”

“I..I’m not sure why. I don’t know him that well yet to be honest and I’m scared if I tell him now it’ll halt our friendship that is just beginning.”

“You don’t have to tell him now. You can continue your friendship and once you feel like it’s solid enough, then you can tell him.” Mingyu held his hand out. “Let’s shake on it. I’ll take your advice if you take mine.”

Jungkook stared at Mingyu’s hand and tried to find a reason to back out. But without much thought he shook on it.

Jungkook’s phone dinged as his hand let go of Mingyu’s. He opened it up and it was from Namjoon.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 9:04pm

_Hey tomorrow Tae, Yoongi and I will be at the studio! If you have some free time want to come over?_

 

“Is that him?” Mingyu asked.

“Yeah..”

"Remember, don’t break the deal.” He pushed himself off the wall and smiled as he walked to the kitchen.

“I won’t.” Jungkook mumbled to himself.

 

**Me**

sent 9:05pm

_I’ll come by after work_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Ten appearance! Mostly bc I've had New Heroes on repeat since it came out.


	9. I Had No Idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spilled soda and sad songs

Jungkook went to bed as soon as he got home. He was in such a deep sleep that he slept through his alarm and hit snooze without any recollection. He was eventually woken up by Jimin who softly pet his wild bed head and poked his cheeks until he was annoyed awake.

“Jungkookie I let you sleep in 15 minutes extra.”

“Alright I’m up.”

He sat up and covered his sensitive eyes as Jimin opened up his curtains to let the sunlight in.

“I’ll be in the kitchen.”

“Ok.”

He slid out of bed and turned on his phone. He looked up the whether forecast for the day and saw it would be overcast and not as hot, so after a quick shower he decided to wear his work shirt under a comfortable hoodie.

Jungkook got ready in record time and met Jimin at the kitchen table for some much needed coffee. His friend handed him his mug and a plate of eggs once he sat down. The caffeine started to finally wake him up.

“I think I’m a human again.” He took a gulp of coffee.

“I’m surprised you went out actually.”

“I was surprised too. But it was a lot of fun. It was Mingyu who invited me, the pretty boy who helped me when I fell.”

“Was it a date?“ Jimin wiggled an eyebrow.

“Oh my god, no! His best friend came along too. He’s from the dance department actually. Do you know a Minghao?”

“You hung out with Minghao?” Jimin looked shocked. “He is an amazing dancer, a bit intimidating though.”

“He’s really cool. Also gay. We bonded over gay artists and now you’ve been replaced.” Jungkook playfully stuck out his tongue.

“I’ll make sure to spit in your coffee next time.”

“Ahh Hyung.” He whined. “You can’t be replaced, you know that. I’ll introduce you to him to make up for it.”

“Really?”

“I promise! Oh and how was practice?”

“Good. But my body feels so sore it hurts to move.” He grumbled.

“Are you practicing more today?”

“Yeah. I swear my arms and legs will be noodles by the end of the day.”

“Don’t push yourself too hard I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“Don’t worry. The instructor already yelled at me to not push too hard.” He laughed embarrassed.

“It’s good that they call you out, I approve.”

Jimin finished his food first and set his plate and mug in the sink. Before his friend left Jungkook remembered he never told Jimin about the art club.

“Hey! I forgot to tell you that I joined a club.”

Jimin’s eyes lit up. “You did? What one?”

“Art club. Mingyu runs it actually. That’s how I met Minghao as well.”

“That’s perfect! I haven’t seen you really draw since I first met you, I think.”

“There’s another thing…”

“And what would that be?”

“I kinda made a deal with Mingyu.”

“What _kind_ of deal…” Jimin looked suspicious.

“We both gave each other advice and we made a deal to follow through with it.”

“What was the advice?”

“That I build my friendship with Namjoon and once it feels solid enough I’ll confess.”

“Wait. I thought you were planning to move on.”

“I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be able to move forward unless I tell him.” Jungkook sighed. “And I think if I told him now it’d ruin this new friendship of ours.”

“I think I understand that.”

“So I’ll stop trying to avoid hanging out with him. Starting tonight actually, since he invited me over to his studio.”

“Just you two?”

“No no! Tae and Yoongi hyung will be there.”

“Alright. I trust your judgement.” He patted Jungkook’s shoulder. “I’m heading out now. Talk to you later.”

His Hyung left and the boy realized he would be late if he didn’t leave within the next ten minutes. His first class was at 8am and he wanted to kick his past self for scheduling most of his classes for the mornings. But he must admit, he prefers having the end of his days open and having later shifts at work.

Much different from the day before, Jungkook was alert in all his classes. He diligently took notes and didn’t sleep a wink. He was surprised at how accomplished he felt but knew that feeling would fade once he started on his assignments.

Jungkook was meeting up with Jimin for lunch off campus before his shift started. To surprise Jimin he decided to invite Minghao to lunch.

**Me**

12:48pm

_If you haven’t eaten lunch yet did you want to join my friend and I off campus?_

 

**Minghao**

12:48pm

_Sure! I was just heading to the cafeteria with Mingyu! Can he join too?_

 

**Me**

12:50pm

_Yeah bring him along. Let’s meet at the library entrance??_

**Minghao**

12:51pm

_Ok ^_^_

 

Jungkook continued on and headed to the library to pick up Jimin who was currently drowning in books. He found his friend sitting at a table alone flipping through a thick textbook. His Hyung’s hair was hidden under his tightly wrapped hood, wearing a jacket that was way too big on him.

“Hyung!” Jungkook whispered loudly to get Jimin’s attention.

Jimin looked up startled but smiled shortly after. “Oh thank god, it must be lunch time.” He instantly started to pack away his things.

“Sorry I didn’t ask beforehand but I invited Minghao and Mingyu.”

“Great. My first official introduction and I look like a mess.” He took off his hood to show the unfortunate flat yet poofy hair he was hiding.

“You can borrow a cap, you’re fine.”

Luckily Jungkook always kept a cap in his bag so his friend’s bad hair day was saved. Jungkook lead Jimin to the entrance and waved once he saw his two friends waiting.

“This is Minghao and Mingyu.”

Jimin smiled. “Hi I’m Jimin. Jungkook told me he joined your club. Please take care of him.”

“Ew don’t say that, you sound like my mom.” He whined in embarrassment.

Everyone laughed in response and Jungkook pouted as they called him Jimin’s son. The group decided on going to a fast-food restaurant for money saving purposes, Jungkook already craving fries again. Once seated with their food Minghao started asking Jimin a fire round of questions about Jungkook. After finding out Jungkook was a bit of a clean freak he asked about the boy’s sexuality.

“Did you always know he was gay?”

“Hmm not always. But about a few months before he told me I was starting to think so.”

“What about you?” Jungkook aimed the question at Mingyu. “Did you always know Minghao was gay?”

Minghao looked thrilled that he was now included in the questionnaire and stared at his friend for a reply. Mingyu tapped his fingers on the table nervously before speaking.

“We met our sophomore year in highschool and to be honest I didn’t really think gay people existed at that age. I only ever saw them as a character made for books or TV so it was a bit like a fantasy. So no, I definitely didn’t know.” He scratched the back of his head and averted his eyes.

“That explains his reaction when I told him.” Minghao laughed. “He looked so shocked and said _‘So gay people_ are _real.’_ It was like I told him dragons exist.”

Mingyu’s ears turned red from embarrassment. “I didn’t know any better.”

Minghao put his hand on Mingyu’s. “No, I think you were very kind and considerate when I told you. You asked if I was ok, like if my parents would kick me out.”

“I asked because that happened in a comic book. I wasn’t sure if that was a real thing either.”

“See, any other straight boy I told was disgusted so Mingyu is the only straight boy I keep around.”

Mingyu choked on his drink and Jungkook had a pretty decent idea why. Everyone asked him if he was ok and Mingyu and Jungkook shared an understanding look. He stood up and motioned for Mingyu to stand as well.

“Let’s clean your shirt in the bathroom.”

“Oh. Ok.”

Jungkook noticed the confusion over Minghao’s face as the two walked away and wondered if there was any significance to it. Once in the bathroom Mingyu took at look at himself in the mirror and sighed.

“That was pretty smooth, huh.”

“So.. obviously he still doesn’t know.”

“Of course not! I need to build myself up before I tell him something like that. And your guy already knows you’re gay so this is harder for me.”

“He didn’t know until recently though. He knew of me for awhile but he didn’t even know my name a couple months ago.” Jungkook shrugged. “It was awkward telling him so I get it.”

“Oh. I just assumed he knew the whole time. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I haven’t told you much about him, other than the fact that he exists.” He laughed. “So, how is your shirt?”

“Good thing I wore black so the stain won’t be that noticeable. But it’s probably going to be sticky for the rest of the day.” Mingyu frowned.

“Here.” Jungkook pulled off his hoodie in one swift motion. “I’ve got my work shirt under so it’s fine.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. I wouldn’t want to walk around in a sticky shirt all day if I were you.” He handed Mingyu the hoodie. “I’ll go back out then.”

“Thanks a lot.”

“Don’t mention it.” First lending Jimin his cap and now Mingyu with his hoodie, Jungkook wondered if good karma would be coming his way.

Jimin and Minghao had finished their food and were on their phones when Jungkook got back to the table. He sat beside his hyung and ate a handful of fries.

“Where’s your hoodie?” Jimin put his phone down to stare at Jungkook’s button down shirt.

“Mingyu’s shirt was all sticky so I lent it to him.”

“Wow what a gentleman.”

Jungkook caught Minghao’s sour expression before Mingyu announced himself to the table. He wasn’t exactly sure if Minghao being possessive was normal for their friendship but he definitely noticed some kind of jealousy.

Jungkook and Mingyu finished up their lunch and Jungkook left the group early to head to work. He hadn’t had a shared shift with Yoohyeon in what felt like weeks so the boy was more eager to come in than usual.

After clocking in he found Yoohyeon sitting in the break room drinking an iced coffee.

“Kookie! The gay baby to my cultured lesbian!”

“You're really gonna start with that?” Jungkook tried hiding his smile.

“I say it with love and I know you don’t actually hate it.”

“Yeah yeah.” Jungkook sat down after taking out the store’s catalog.

“Anything new to update me on?”

“Hmm yes actually. I joined an art club and I decided not to move on from Namjoon just yet.”

“Oooooh I like this determined side of you. He’s not dating anyone now, right? So it’s the perfect time to make a move.”

“I don’t want to necessarily make a move. I just want to be friends first.”

“We're going for friends to lovers trope?”

“I don’t even want to think about that to be honest. I don’t want any expectations other than being his friend.”

“But love is about timing so keep that in mind.”

Jungkook nodded. “I will. But tonight I’m going to his studio with Tae and Yoongi hyung, so that’s a start.”

“Better then running away from a surprise party because your crush was invited.”

“Cut me some slack I was heartbroken, still am.” He whined.

“And yet you didn’t tell me about it until yesterday.” Yoohyeon frowned.

“I’m sorry. I’m so used to keeping my issues to myself that I forget I can confine in my friends.”

“Oh, Kookie.“ She smiled softly. “You’ll get the hang of it.” Yoohyeon stood up. “I’ll be up front.”

The rest of Jungkook’s shift consisted of organizing donated books, dusting and cleaning and lots of chit chat with Yoohyeon. Jungkook had twenty minutes left of his shift and was in the break room starting to put things away when Yoohyeon scurried in the break room.

“Alert! Alert! Hot nerd is here!” she whispered loudly.

“What?!”

“He said he was here to pick you up. He’s early though so he’s sitting in the seating area reading.”

“Why is he picking me up again. It’s nerve-racking being in the car alone with him.”

“I’m not sure but I thought I’d warn you.” Yoohyeon gave him the peace sign before walking out.

Jungkook still had to take out the trash from the seating area so he prepared himself for seeing Namjoon. He walked out front and saw the older boy comfortably sitting with his legs crossed and a book open in his lap. He was wearing a black beanie with all his hair tucked underneath and a light army green jacket with baggie pants. He looked the most casual Jungkook had ever seen him and he still looked damn good.

Namjoon looked up from his book and smiled as Jungkook approached. “Hi Jungkookie.”

“Hi Hyung.” He tried not to sound so awkward but didn’t succeed.

“I’m sorry I just showed up.” Namjoon sat up in his chair. “I thought I’d pick you up. The studio is a bit hard to find if you’ve never been there before so I didn’t want you to get lost.”

“Oh.” He was happy the older boy thought of him. “Thank you. I probably would’ve gotten lost then.”

“After texting you the address I realized how lost I got even after a month of renting it out, so picking you up seemed like the best thing.”

“Are Tae and Yoongi Hyung already there?” He asked as he tied up the garbage and replaced the bag.

“Yeah. I left as they were fighting so we’ll see what the aftermath is once we get there.”

“They fight?”

“Nothing too major but they do disagree on many things so there is always conflict between those two.”

“That's news to me.”

“It’s just how their friendship works.” He shrugged. “It’s ten to seven so I’ll let you finish up.”

“Ok.”

Jungkook finished putting out the trash and clocked out. Yoohyeon wished him luck before leaving and he thanked her, he needed all the luck he could get. Namjoon was waiting by the doors and walked out with him. Once inside the car Namjoon let out a long yawn.

“You tired?” Dumb question, Jungkook knew.

“Yeah I’ve been trying to finish a song for a music company and it’s sucking the life out of me.” He started the car and was now on the road.

“A music company?” He asked excited.

“It’s not a huge company but this would be the second song Yoongi and I did for them. It’s pretty cool.”

“That’s amazing, congrats.”

“Thank you.” He smiled shyly. “We’re finally starting to see our hard work pay off.”

After driving down many confusing roads and making an excessive amount of turns they arrived at the studio. The building was very dark on the outside, even with the street lights illuminating it. A part of Jungkook thought it looked sketchy but he didn’t want to judge before even setting foot inside.

Namjoon lead him inside the building and they walked down a very long hallway. The older boy entered his lock combination on the keypad and it made a loud click when it opened.

“We’re here.” Namjoon announced to the room.

The room was very quiet for having two people in it that were arguing beforehand. Jungkook and Namjoon saw the reason why when they looked to the couch. On the couch Taehyung and Yoongi were fast asleep, the surprising thing being that they were holding hands. The two boys looked at each other and Jungkook put a hand over his mouth to cover a laugh.

Namjoon took out his phone and opened the camera. “This is perfect.” He aimed it at the two asleep on the couch and took a picture as he snickered.

“Are they..”

“No this is normal. Well, falling asleep while holding hands is new but holding hands isn’t. When they have a disagreement they hold hands until they aren’t mad anymore. Yoongi Hyung hates confrontation so one day he just held Tae’s hand when he got upset with him and it’s been a thing ever since.”

“That’s…. really cute.”

“And people think Yoongi Hyung is cold and mean.” He rolled his eyes. “Is that cold and mean?” He gestured at the sleeping boys.

“I can only see warm and sweet.”

“Exactly.”

“So, are we letting them sleep?”

“Yeah, sit down. I can plug in headphones to keep it quiet.” Namjoon pulled out a wheeled chair with a pillow in the seat. “This is Hyung’s but you can move the pillow if you want.” The older boy took off his jacket and sat down.

Jungkook placed the pillow on a table full of scattered papers. Namjoon sat in the middle in charge of the large desktop computer with a piano keyboard plugged in. The younger boy watched as Namjoon opened up a file and saw all the layers of recording that went into the track.

“I never realized how much you have to record for one song.”

“This is a pretty simple track actually.”

“Really?” He asked surprised.

“This is a minimal beat for a rap track. Here.” He handed Jungkook the headphones and pressed play.

Jungkook heard a catchy bass hook and a few low synths complimenting the bass. An explosion of drums came in and he smiled at the addition. It was very lively and fun yet still felt serious. Namjoon paused the song and Jungkook pulled down the headphones.

“That was really good.”

“You think? That’s a peak at the track for the music company, so don’t tell anyone I let you hear it.” He gave the younger boy a mischievous smile.

Jungkook returned the smile. “What song?”

Namjoon laughed. “We’ll have to wait until those two wake up before I show you how I record but did you want to hear my own stuff?”

“You mean like a mixtape?”

“Those are older but sure.” He went into a folder labeled RM and rows of files were on the screen. “What kind of song do you want to hear?”

“Hmm something that showcases your rap the best?”

“Ok. This one I made to show my flow so the lyrics aren’t much.” He clicked a file named 06.

A very hard and gritty beat greeted him. Namjoon’s voice was low and rough and evey time Jungkook thought he’d run out of breath he switched flow. The younger boy almost choked as he heard Namjoon swear in English repeatedly and didn’t dare look at the older boy until the song ended.

“So?”

Jungkook let the headphones hang around his neck. “I wasn’t expecting that at all. How do you breathe doing that?”

“Lots of practice.” He laughed.

“Do you have anything slower?”

“I do actually. Beware, it’s a bit depressing.” He paused. “And I sing in the chorus.”

“You sing too?”

“Not.. really. That’s why I warned you.”

The song started with a distorted dreamy piano and Jungkook could already feel a sense of loneliness. Namjoon’s voice came in and Jungkook felt the raw emotion in every word. He felt the anger and pain and he wondered what caused the older boy to feel those things. His voice in the chorus was softer than he imagined, still low but it had a smooth texture to it that surprised him. One lyric stood out to him.

_The world is one decalcomania_

_The people I thought were on my side can change and become vicious_

_Like folding paper, a problem that ends if we go have relationships_

_In a moment he can be sneering at me from the other side_

Jungkook wished he knew who hurt Namjoon, he wanted to tell them that they missed out on knowing a wonderful person and their lives lacked because of it. Namjoon was a giving person and very humble, you didn’t need to know him long to notice those things. Whoever thought Namjoon wasn’t worth having in their lives were the sad ones.

The song ended and he looked up at Namjoon who had stood up at some point during the song.

“Who… is the song about?”

Namjoon stared at him blankly then looked to the couch to see if they were still asleep. “It’s about Tae and his father. It’s something in the past though, don’t worry.”

Jungkook looked at the older boy in shock. “I had no idea.”

“I doubt Tae would’ve told you, it’s a dark past that we’re all healing from.”

“Can I ask what happened?” He asked nervously.

“No. Sorry.” Namjoon sat back down in his chair. “I don’t like talking about it but it’s gotten better.” He said adverting his eyes.

“Oh. Alright. That’s good.”

Jungkook could feel how tense Namjoon had become even though he was trying to hide it. It felt uncomfortable and the boy didn’t know what to say or do to fix it. It stayed quiet and Namjoon had his chair turned slightly away from the younger boy. He looked at the time and decided it’d be better if he left.

“Those two don’t look like they’re waking up any time soon, so I think I’ll go.”

“Already?”

“Yeah I have some assignments I wanted to work on too. And I can come over again anyway.”

“Ok.” Namjoon stood up and grabbed his jacket.

“You don’t have to drive me, I’ll take a taxi home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Thank you for sharing your music with me.” He faked a smile as he left.

Before closing the door he caught Namjoon’s expression, it was confused and hurt. As Jungkook shut the door he felt like he was already fucking up their friendship, he was running away the moment things got uncomfortable. He walked away thinking that Namjoon deserved better.


	10. Can't You Stay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arguments and late night confessions

It was the third week of September and the weather was slowly changing. Jungkook was having lunch in the art club’s room while they set up an online poll for a story to be picked. Minghao and Jungkook crossed their fingers in hopes of Minghao’s story winning. On the poll there was a drawing for each story, Jungkook and Mingyu worked on Minghao’s together. Whatever artist drew the winning story got to be in charge of the concept art and style.

Jungkook designed the look for the older brother character and he was proud of how it came out. When they were coming up with designs he asked what character Minghao was drawing and Mingyu said he’d draw for him instead. Now at lunch he realized that he’d never seen Minghao draw at all actually.

“I haven’t seen Minghao’s drawings before.” Jungkook stated as he ate his cheap lunchbox.

“That’s.. because I can’t draw.”

“What?”

Mingyu laughed as he interrupted. “He joined because I made him. We don’t see each other at all because of our majors so I thought joining the same club would be a good idea.”

“Oh.” He nodded his head in understanding.

“I contribute with gay storylines for webtoons.”

“A huge contribution.” Jungkook laughed.

The poll would be up for the next week and results would be revealed at another club meeting. It was like waiting to see if he won a contest when it was only just a club activity. But it was some much needed fun because he still felt stressed about leaving Namjoon that night.

Lunch was over and so was the meeting. Minghao left in another direction as Mingyu and Jungkook walked together towards the library.

“So, how are things with Mr. First Love?”

“Why do you have to call him that?” Jungkook playfully rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know him, so a mysterious yet silly name seems appropriate.”

“I’ll accept that.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” Mingyu pestered.

“I haven’t seen much of him lately. I work all the afternoon shifts now and he never visits my supervisor anymore. I’m thinking he’s busier later in the day. Other than that I still feel like an ass for basically running away.”

“You should text him first. From what you’ve said before he’s the one to text first usually.”

“Yeah he is.” Jungkook sighed. “But what do I say?”

“Honestly? Apologize. You obviously feel bad, so tell him that.”

“You’re… right.”

“I didn’t know I was so great at advice.”

“Let’s move on to you. How’s things with Minghao.”

“Uhh normal. I’ve been trying to figure out how or when to tell him and I know I’m overcomplicating it.”

“I don’t think I have any good advice for that. I’ll be in the same situation at some point and I feel like I’ll be doing what you’re doing.”

“I think I might do it today.”

“For real?” Jungkook stopped in the middle of the hall.

“Yeah. I feel like I’m going to push it off for months if I don’t get it off my chest now.”

“Wow. Good luck. And text me how it goes, alright?”

“I’ll keep you posted.”

The boys waved each other goodbye and went their separate ways. Jungkook didn’t have work so he left campus not sure on a destination. Jimin had class and Yoohyeon was on a day trip with Handong. He decided to text Taehyung in hopes that he was free.

 

**Me**

sent 1:18pm

_Are you free today?_

 

**Tae**

sent 1:39pm

_I finished up work already! You want to hang out?_

 

**Me**

sent 1:39pm

_Yes pls!!!_

 

They decided to meet up at a coffee shop near the college. Taehyung showed up in a dark navy blazer with a floral button down underneath.

“You look so fancy.” Jungkook pointed at his jean jacket and faded T-shirt. “Now I look like a slob.”

“You always look like a slob compared to me.” He smirked.

“I bought you a hot chocolate and this is how you repay me?” Jungkook pulled the mug close to him. “Maybe I’ll just drink it myself.”

“You’re going to drink both a coffee and a hot chocolate?” Taehyung shook his head and grabbed his mug. “You’re all bark and no bite, kook-ah.”

“Shut up.” He said with a pout.

Taehyung blew on his drink and slowly took a sip. “So, what’s the plan for today?”

“I don’t have a plan. I figured you’d have a place you’d want to go and I’d tag along.”

“Really? You don’t have anywhere you want to go?”

“Not particularly.”

“Alright. Well, I was planning to shop for a gift today.”

“A gift? For who?”

“My brother. It’s… actually his birthday today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah but here’s the thing, don’t tell anybody about it. He hates his birthday and doesn’t celebrate it.”

“Oh.”

“He usually wants to be alone and goes drinking. But I still wanted to get him something. I’ll probably give it to him at the end of the month though, if it’s too close to his birthday he’ll know I was trying to be sneaky.”

“Did something happen on his birthday in the past?”

Taehyung stilled and sat up straight. “It’s.. not my story to tell.”

Jungkook looked at Taehyung’s uneasy expression and wondered if it was stemmed from guilt. “Was it something you or your father did?”

Taehyung’s eyes grew wide. “W-what?”

“I…“ He paused. “I didn’t give you the full story of why I left the studio that night.” He stared at the table as he talked. “It wasn’t because you two fell asleep but because it was tense after Namjoon told me that you hurt him in the past.”

“He… told you?”

“He didn’t tell me what happened, just that it did.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Should I be?” He finally stared Taehyung in the eyes. “What happened?”

“I can’t tell you. I don’t have the right to.”

“What does that even mean? Are you ashamed?”

“Of course I’m ashamed but it’s something I shouldn’t tell you.”

“Why are you so intent on keeping this from me?”

“You keep stuff from me too ya know.”

“I’ve kept stuff away from you because I thought it’d hurt your feelings. This is something else entirely.”

“This isn’t some fun secret to unveil, Kook-ah. Stop trying to pry.” He said in a steady but harsh voice. It was quiet for a few moments before Taehyung stood up from his chair. “I think we both need to cool our heads, so I’ll be leaving first. Thank you for the hot chocolate.”

Taehyung walked out leaving the younger boy discombobulated and confused. He had never seen his friend that angry before and Jungkook was upset that he was the one who caused it. The younger boy didn’t mean to pry but he felt so locked out by his friend. He had never stopped thinking about what Namjoon said in the studio over a week ago and it worried him. It felt like there was a scary part of Taehyung that was hidden from him, and yet it was hard to believe Taehyung could be such a person.

Jungkook aimlessly walked the streets after he left the coffee shop. He hadn’t felt this alone since he was in middle school. His friends were all busy and he didn’t want to bother them with a sad text.

The boy passed a bookstore and thought of Namjoon. He felt stupid for feeling bad for himself when Namjoon must’ve gone through worse. He decided his birthday present to the older boy would be an apology text for leaving the studio.

 

**Me**

sent 3:06pm

_I know this is overdue but I wanted to apologize for suddenly leaving the studio. I thought I was making you uncomfortable and left when instead I should’ve stayed and talked with you about it. I’m sorry._

 

Jungkook’s heart raced after he hit send. He wasn’t expecting a reply for the rest of the day so he was surprised when his phone alerted him of a new text from Namjoon.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 2:08pm

_I’m sorry too. I got silent on you. And you’re right we should’ve just talked. I’m bad at letting people in but I really appreciate you texting me about it._

_Btw are you free rn?_

 

**Me**

sent 3:09pm

_Yeah I’m free the rest of the day_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 3:10pm

_Seeing your text made me want to see you, can we hang out??_

 

Jungkook first blushed at the bold yet sweet statement but then stared at the text in confusion. Didn’t Taehyung say Namjoon preferred being alone on his birthday? Was that a lie or was Namjoon just acting out of character? But who was he to turn down the older boy, he thought. His plans to hang out with Taehyung fell through so he was grateful for some company.

 

**Me**

sent 3:12pm

_Of course we can hang out!_

 

Namjoon said he was craving ice cream so they met up at an ice cream shop. Upon seeing the older boy he had to stop himself from wishing him a happy birthday. Instead he focused on what ice cream he wanted to order and decided on a vanilla cone dipped in chocolate. Namjoon picked out chocolate but ate his with a spoon.

Since the weather was nice they decided to walk around, Namjoon didn’t bring his car for that very reason. Jungkook finished up his cone and teased the older boy for eating so slow when he was the one who craved it.

“Don’t you know what savoring your food is?” He asked while sucking on his spoon.

“If I’m craving something I eat it too fast and then wish I had more.”

“You have much to learn from me.”

Jungkook looked to Namjoon and saw a bit of ice cream on the corner of his mouth. “Like how to get ice cream on my face?” He smirked and pointed to the corner of the older boy’s mouth.

Namjoon quickly wiped his mouth. “Well, that wasn’t embarrassing.“ They both laughed.

Once it started to get a bit darker outside Jungkook asked if they could go watch street performers and Namjoon was happy to comply. They were in the center of Hongdae and many people were setting up to dance and sing. Jungkook was intrigued by a dance crew that was surrounded by a crowd of squealing girls.

Namjoon and Jungkook squeezed past some girls in their high school uniforms and saw two boys in the center of all the chaos in a beginning pose waiting for the music to start. The song began and all the girls were screaming once again. Troublemaker was being played and the two boys dancing were holding nothing back. Jungkook looked up at Namjoon who was shaking his head.

He bent down and spoke in the younger boy’s ear. “Don’t you love it when straight boys pretend to be gay for fangirls?” His voice was laced with sarcasm.

“Who knows, maybe one of them is.”

“True but it’s more likely that that’s not the case.”

“I kno-”

Their conversation halted when the choreography of the “kiss” was up and everyone was surprised with an _actual_ kiss. The crowd went wild and the dancers tried to hold back smiles.

“That was very straight of them.” Jungkook laughed.

Some of the other boys from the dance crew were scanning the audience and Jungkook heard a high school girl behind him say they were looking for a boy to bring in the center to dance with. He locked eyes with one of the dancers and pointed at Namjoon to be sacrificed.

The dancer beelined to Namjoon and dragged him forward. Namjoon in a confused state followed the boy but looked for Jungkook only to see the younger boy sticking his tongue out at him. Namjoon stood awkwardly as a boy danced seductively around him as another grinded on him. The crowd screamed and Namjoon was soon released from the make-shift lap dance.

“How could you do that, I trusted you.” He whined to Jungkook.

“I hope someone posts a video online of what just happened so we can savour this moment forever. You told me I should savour things, right?

“I was talking about food not me being grinded on in public.”

Jungkook bursted out laughing and Namjoon couldn’t help but join in. It was getting way too crowded so Jungkook lead the way to another performance down the street. A girl was sitting behind a keyboard and was playing a classical piece. Not many people were watching the girl so it felt more comfortable and peaceful.

The piece ended and Jungkook opened his eyes not realizing he had closed them. The girl thanked everyone for listening. She stood up and situated a mic and stand then sat back down behind the keyboard with another mic she held.

“I’ll be playing a modern song next. I’m not a singer so if you happen to know the song please feel free to sing.” The girl motioned to the mic stand.

She began to play and Jungkook didn’t recognize the song at the first few notes but very quickly afterwards knew the song.

“I know this.” He said to himself.

“You do?” Namjoon raised an eyebrow. “Count this as payback.”

Namjoon pushed Jungkook forward and he stumbled towards the mic stand. The girl looked at him and smiled as a way to encourage the boy. He took a deep breath and glared at Namjoon in the distance who waved at him. He closed his eyes and pretended he was alone in his room and began to sing.

He sang softly and melted into the piano playing beside him. He opened his eyes and saw that more people were beginning to stop and watch. Namjoon gawked at him and Jungkook looked away and blushed.

He suddenly heard a guitar playing in the same tune and turned to see another performer had joined them. The man on the guitar smiled wide at Jungkook and the younger boy felt a surprising burst of confidence. He sang the chorus with more power behind his vocals, still soft but with a bit more feeling. He felt confident enough to sing some ad-libs and people cheered for him.

The song was coming to an end so he closed his eyes again while he sang the lyrics.

 

_Pictures I’m living through for now_

_Trying to remember all the good times_

_Our life was cutting through so loud_

_Memories are playing in my dull mind_

_I hate this part paper hearts_

_And I’ll hold a piece of yours_

_Don’t think I would just forget about it_

_Hoping that you won’t forget_

 

Jungkook opened his eyes and was greeted with a large crowd clapping and cheering for him. He searched for Namjoon in the crowd but couldn’t find him right away. After he thanked both performers he finally spotted the older boy who looked at him with a proud smile.

“That was really great.”

“Thank you.” He smiled shyly.

“Your pronunciation was really good too. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“I’ve listened to that song a thousand times I swear, so I guess I picked up on it.”

The two boys watched a few other performances before leaving to eat dinner. Namjoon brought them to a standard Korean restaurant, Jungkook said he was craving kimchi stew. They were given side dishes and their ordered food came quickly afterwards.

There wasn’t much conversation at the beginning of their meal, both of them too hungry to talk. After fifteen minutes of silence Jungkook looked up to Namjoon who was guzzling down his water.

“Getting full yet?” He asked.

“A Little.” He set down his empty cup. “What about you?”

“I have a big appetite so it’ll be a bit longer.” He ate a spoonful of his food.

“Where does it all go?”

“I work out, that probably helps.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot you’ve got abs.” Namjoon stared at the boy. “I didn’t tell you this but that night I stayed over, your shirt flipped over your chest when I helped you to bed. You literally look photoshoped I was slightly offended to be honest.”

Jungkook almost choked on his soup. “Why even tell me that?“ He drank his water to distract himself.

“Because I wanted you to know I’m offended by your abs.”

Jungkook facepalmed. “Are you offended by everyone who has abs?”

“No, it was because you’ve got such a cute face that I literally wasn’t expecting to see those photoshoped abs.”

“Please, can we stop talking about my abs over dinner?” He felt his face get hot and it wasn’t because of the spices in his food.

“If that’s what you want, abs boy.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes as Namjoon tried to control his laughter. If only the older boy knew that he used to be referred to as _thighs boy_ in the past, what a pair they are.

They finished their meal and went to the streets to walk off the food. It was a quarter past eight and Jungkook wasn’t sure when to part ways. Namjoon still seemed to want his company and the boy was willing to stay as long as he wanted him to. He followed the older boy as he lead them to a music store.

Inside it was very bright and pop music was being played inside the store. Namjoon turned to Jungkook wearing an embarrassed expression.

“I wanted to buy you an album if that’s alright.”

“You don’t have to do that.” He sputtered.

“I want to. I don’t know why but hearing you sing made me want to share a certain album with you.”

“Ok but only if I can do the same for you.”

“Alright.” He smiled sweetly. “Let’s separate and meet back here.”

Jungkook agreed and they went in opposite directions of the store. He had no idea what album to buy Namjoon and tried to rack his brain for an idea. He walked the aisles and ended up in the Rock section. He glanced over and got lost in nostalgia when he found all the Punk Rock bands he listened to in high school. He picked up one album in particular and knew he found the one.

Twelve minutes passed and the two boys stood together with their albums inside their bags. They switched and excitedly looked inside to see what they got.

“I can’t believe you got me an MCR album.” Namjoon chuckled.

“It was the nostalgia that got me.” Jungkook looked at his album and didn’t recognize the artist.

“That is Frank Ocean’s Blonde album. It’s a favorite.“

“I think my friend recommended him to me but I forgot to check him out.” He vaguely remembered Minghao sending him a text about him. “Thank you.” He held the CD to his chest.

“You’re welcome. And thank you too.”

Namjoon lead Jungkook out of the store but lingered near the entrance.

“I was going to buy some beer and head back to my place. Did you want to come?” He awkwardly smiled.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

On their walk to Namjoon’s apartment he had nearly forgotten that it was the older’s birthday. He looked at the older boy and saw his happy expression and felt pride that he was responsible for that smile, at least he thought he was. Namjoon went inside a convenience store to buy the beer as Jungkook waited outside. His took out his phone to see the time when it dinged. He opened up the message to see that it was from Taehyung.

 

**Tae**

sent 9:02pm

_I hope we’re ok._

 

**Me**

sent 9:03pm

_We’re ok. Sorry for prying._

 

**Tae**

sent 9:05

_It’s ok. Sorry it’s so complicated. Text me when you’re free again so we can have a do-over._

 

**Me**

sent 9:05pm

_I will!_

 

Namjoon came out with a six pack of beer and Jungkook held their CDs for the remainder of the walk. After a twenty minute walk they made it to Namjoon’s apartment building. They rode the elevator up to the fourth floor and Namjoon unlocked his door and welcomed the younger boy inside.

Namjoon didn’t even make it two steps inside before he tripped over something on the floor. He turned the lights on and it was speakers next to the door that made him loose his footing.

“Shit. I forgot I left that there.” He pushed it more to the side and slid his shoes off.

Jungkook lingered in the entry way after taking off his shoes. He watched as the older boy moved things away from the door so there wouldn’t be a repeat of what just happened. Namjoon glanced up and saw Jungkook waiting for him.

“Sorry for the mess near the door, I’m supposed to take some extras to the studio tomorrow and just left everything here in a pile.”

“It’s alright, I wasn’t the one who tripped.”

“True…” He motioned past the kitchen. “You can sit on the couch while I put a few things away.”

“Ok.”

Namjoon’s apartment was small but mostly organized, minus the pile at the door of course. There was a large bookcase stuffed to the brim across the room. Jungkook wondered how he still had so many books when he donated as many as he does. He picked up a book with the title _Almost Transparent Blue_ and turned it over to read the back.

“That one is kinda wild.”

Jungkook flinched and almost dropped the book. “Fuck. You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” He laughed. “We’re you trying to be sneaky looking through my books.”

“I wasn’t being sneaky. I was just intrigued by what books you decide to keep since you donate all the time.”

“Ah, that makes sense. Most of what I keep are gifts and my ultimate favorites. It helps that I’ve been collecting since I was a kid. If you look closely you’ll see some nursery rhymes mixed in.”

Jungkook looked through and did indeed find a few children’s books. He turned back to Namjoon who was on the couch already drinking a beer.

“Aren’t they warm?”

“The rest are in the freezer if you want one. This one is cold on the outside but still warm on the inside.” He laughed at himself. “I guess I took it out too quickly.”

“I’ll wait to grab one then.” He sat on the far end of the couch from Namjoon.

The older boy took a long swig of beer. “You did really well in the crowd today. But my dumbass forgot about your social anxiety and made you sing in public. Sorry.”

“No, it was actually fun. I’m glad we’re away from the crowd now though. I can only handle so much.”

“I had fun too.” He smiled softly at Jungkook before finishing off his beer. “Thank you for today.”

“No need to thank me. I was gonna sit home all day alone if you didn’t invite me out.”

“I was gonna do this all day.” He held up his empty beer can.

He stood up and walked to the kitchen and brought two cans back. He handed one to the younger boy and immediately opened his to drink. It was quiet for a minute and Jungkook didn’t dare say a word as he watched Namjoon frown as he drank.

“Hey Jungkookie?”

“Yes?” He set his unopened can on the coffee table.

“I’m going to tell you a secret.” Namjoon looked to Jungkook. “It’s my birthday today.”

“Really?” He tried to act surprised.

“Yeah. But I don’t celebrate it. I haven’t for years. My friends know to stay away from me today, no calls or texts, just let me sit by myself and drink all day.” Namjoon’s eyes began to water. “But I was lonely this time. And I was too ashamed to ask anyone to stay with me. I drilled it in their heads to let me be alone, so I felt stupid for wanting comfort.“ He let out a staggered breath. “But you’re here. And today wasn’t horrible.” Tears fell down Namjoon’s cheeks.

Jungkook’s heart ached as he watched the older boy cry. He closed the distance between them and held Namjoon’s hand. “I’m glad today wasn’t horrible.” He smiled through his own tears.

“Why are you crying too?”

“Because, you don’t deserve to be sad.”

Namjoon stared at Jungkook with wide eyes and finally broke down crying. Jungkook held him in his arms as he cried and rubbed his back to comfort him. He didn’t know how long Namjoon cried but he sat with him until he settled down.

Jungkook went to get a glass of water for the older boy and when he returned he saw Namjoon wipe away the last of his tears.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“Hyung.” He said in a stern voice. “Don’t apologize for having feelings. Sometimes you just need to cry things out and that’s ok.”

Namjoon looked stunned. “I… you’re right.” He took the glass of water from Jungkook and took a gulp. “Thank you.”

Jungkook saw that it was past ten now and knew he had to get back home since he had class in the morning again. He felt reluctant to bring it up but he knew he’d sit there all night if he didn’t say it now.

“So, I should probably get going now.” He stood up off the couch.

Namjoon shot up after him. “Can’t you stay?”

“Stay?”

“If you’ve got class in the morning I can drive you.” He pleaded.

Jungkook had never seen Namjoon like this before and he knew he’d hate himself if he left him alone tonight. “Ok. I’ll stay.”

The younger boy saw how relieved Namjoon was and was happy he decided to stay after all. The older boy disappeared into his room for a few seconds and called back to Jungkook.

“I’ll give you something to sleep in!”

Namjoon came back changed out of his street clothes and into comfy pajamas. He handed Jungkook a similar pair of pajamas and told him he could change in the room. Once changed he found Namjoon looking through a closet deeply in search of something.

“What are you looking for?”

“An extra charger so you can charge your phone. I lose mine all the time so I keep spares in here. Ah! Found it.” He handed Jungkook a tangled charger and smiled.

He set up his phone near the couch and plugged it into the charger. He layed down on the and tried to get comfortable.

“You’re not sleeping on the couch.” Namjoon stood above him.

“Why not?” He asked confused.

“Because it’s very uncomfortable. And I only have one blanket and it’s on my bed.”

“Oh.” Jungkook wasn’t expecting his first time sleeping over at Namjoon’s apartment would entail sleeping in his bed with him. He felt himself begin to sweat at the thought of laying in bed with his first love but mentally slapped himself to get his shit together.

He walked to Namjoon’s room and saw him opening up his laptop.

“It’s still a bit early so I thought we could watch a movie or show?”

“That sounds good.”

Namjoon turned off the light and got under the covers. Jungkook did the same and watched the older boy pull up Netflix. They decided on a movie that was in the popular section to eliminate too much time wasted trying to find something in the search.

It was a thriller and both were surprised by how interesting the plot was. After an hour he realized Namjoon wasn’t making anymore comments on the lack of research they did on music equipment, nitpicking every time they labeled something wrong. Namjoon was fast asleep with his hand still near the speaker button since the movie went back and forth between loud and quiet.

Jungkook carefully moved the laptop and Namjoon’s hand. He placed the closed laptop on the side table and got back under the covers. His eyes were tired and he willed himself to sleep but was startled when he felt a hand on his hip. He turned and saw Namjoon was trying to pull the boy closer to him in his deep sleep. Jungkook complied and Namjoon wrapped his arms around him.

Jungkook’s heart raced as he felt Namjoon’s breath on his skin. He stayed still for what felt like hours but soon felt sleep calling his name. But before he fell to sleep he very gently lifted his head and gave Namjoon a kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, my love.”


	11. It's Settled Then

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dense lovebirds and unexpected gifts

The early morning sunlight peaked through the curtains and flickered over Jungkook’s face, nature’s attempt to wake the boy up. Jungkook thought it was some kind of crazy dream that he fell asleep in Namjoon’s arms but smiled as he opened his eyes and saw he wasn’t in his own apartment. He rolled over expecting to feel the heat of another body but instead felt cold sheets and an empty bed.

Jungkook heard banging past the bedroom door and had deja vu, remembering the morning he woke up with Namjoon in his apartment. He reluctantly pushed the covers off and got out of bed.

This time he didn’t smell burnt food as he opened the bedroom door. To his surprise he smelled delicious coffee being brewed and spotted Namjoon at the counter putting bread in a toaster.

“Good morning.”

Namjoon turned around surprised. “Oh no, you still had time to sleep! Did I wake you?”

“I just naturally woke up.” He yawned.

“Did you want coffee first and then a shower?”

“Is the coffee already done?”

“Just now.”

“Then yes, coffee first.”

After some toast with his coffee he showered and borrowed clothes from Namjoon, who insisted he did so. The long sleeve shirt smelled of the older boy and he felt small as the sleeves fell past his hands. He wore his jean jacket from the day before to keep warm, the morning air becoming more chilly with each passing day.

The ride to the college was pleasant and Jungkook didn’t feel any nerves like he had in the past. He was slowly becoming more and more comfortable around Namjoon and he was thrilled by the fact. The drive went by too quickly for the boy’s liking but they both said goodbye and Jungkook couldn’t stop smiling as he made his way to his first class.

He hadn’t had the chance to turn on his phone yet but when he did he was bombarded with dozens of notifications of missed calls and unread texts.

“Oh fuck.” He said to himself.

All the messages were from Jimin. His friend was worried sick but also angry as hell because Jungkook never got back to the apartment. He was so overwhelmed with comforting Namjoon that it slipped his mind to text Jimin that he wouldn’t be home last night.

 

**Me**

sent 7:46am

_Hyung I’m so sorry I didn’t text you. Something happened with Namjoon and I stayed at his place._

 

**Jimin Hyung**

sent 7:48am

_Are u telling me I was worried sick while you were getting it on with Namjoon??????_

 

**Me**

sent 7:49am

_No at all!!!! I stayed with him bc we both got drunk. Sorry again._

 

It didn’t feel right telling Jimin that Namjoon broke down in front of him, it felt too private to share even with his best friend. He was trying to get better at not keeping things from his friends but this involved Namjoon and his personal life so the boy tried not to dwell on it.

Jimin texted him saying that he’d be on probation but was forgiven. Jungkook breathed out in relief, glad that Jimin didn’t ask any questions and let him off the hook pretty easily.

Just before class began he received a text from Namjoon.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 7:59am

_I opened the freezer and all the beer I forgot about from last night had exploded…_

_Jungkookie why am I like this_

 

Jungkook couldn’t control himself and bursted out laughing, a few classmates stared at him but he didn’t care. Before he could reply his professor entered and class begun. But that didn’t stop the boy from thinking about Namjoon and imagining the look on his face when he opened his freezer.

After his morning classes he sent Namjoon a text making fun of his forgetfulness and the two bickered back and forth. Their texts were interrupted by a phone call and Jungkook was surprised to see it was from Mingyu.

“Hello?”

“I chickened out yesterday and now I’m telling Minghao over lunch today and I’m freaking out. Hi it’s Mingyu by the way.”

“Mingyu breath. Remember you’re not telling him everything.”

“That makes me feel worse because I’m gonna have to go through this all over again.”

“It might be easier the second time?”

“Nice try. But this is going to change everything. He’s gonna to see me differently now! I’m gonna feel so exposed and I’m scared he’s going to know I like him right away and turn me down.”

“Mingyu it sounds like you’re trying to talk yourself out of it again.”

“……. Perhaps.”

“Practice on me then. The more times you say it the better.”

“Just, say it?”

“Just say it.”

It was silent on the other side of the call for awhile before Mingyu spoke. “I like girls… _and_ boys”

“Good, now just say that to Minghao.”

“Ughhhh.”

“You’ll do fine.”

“Can’t you eat with us? Have you eaten? I’ll buy you food from the convenience store if you be my moral support. We’re eating in my dorm room. Can you come? Please?”

“You definitely don’t sound desperate, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah, I was going for the care free vibe.” He said in a sarcastic tone.

“So I get free food if I come?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. I’m on my way.”

Mingyu gave jungkook directions to his dorm and said Minghao was already waiting inside, he was buying lunch and would be back soon. When he arrived at the dorm room, he knocked before going inside. Minghao replied from the other side .

“Mingyu?”

Jungkook opened the door and peaked his head inside. “Surprise.”

“Jungkook! I wasn’t expecting you.”

“Mingyu enticed me with a free lunch.”

“Really? What did you do to get free food from him?”

“Ohh you’ll find out soon.”

“Keeping secrets are we?”

Jungkook wiggled his eyebrows and Minghao laughed at the boy’s silly face. “Alright I’ll stop asking.” He said in between laughs.

The two boys situated themselves on the floor and Minghao opened up a cheap fold up table. He handed Jungkook a floor cushion and they both waited around the table for Mingyu to arrive.

“I’ve always meant to ask but how did you and Mingyu meet actually? I know you met your sophomore year but that’s it.”

“Well, I transferred here that year. My mom had to move to Korea for work and it was very sudden. I was studying korean previously but the summer before we moved I tried to study as hard as I could, I had a tutor and everything.”

“That must’ve been hard to try to learn a language so fast.”

“It was. And I struggled. I did alright in school but socializing was difficult. I was very quiet and many classmates gave up trying to talk to me. But Mingyu didn’t.” He smiled at the memory. “He helped me with my Korean and taught me slang too. He would act out words to help me remember them and it was so much fun, entirely different from how my tutor taught me.“ Minghao paused for a moment. “He gave me so much confidence and I’m forever grateful.”

“Sounds like how my best friend Jimin saved me in high school.”

“Oh, the Jimin we had lunch with?“

“Yes! That’s him.”

“Did you ever have a crush on him?”

Jungkook was taken aback by the question. “Me? Like Jimin? No way. I didn’t even know I was gay when I first met him and I’ve liked another guy since.”

“Ohh.” Minghao nodded.

“What about Mingyu?”

“What?” Minghao looked red in the face and shocked.

“Did you have a crush on him?”

Minghao was quiet a few seconds but as he was about to speak, the door opened and Mingyu walked inside holding a couple plastic bags. Jungkook tried to see Minghao’s expression but was greeted by an excited Mingyu handing out drinks.

“I got drinks and even snacks for afterwards. I wasn’t sure what you’d like Jungkook, so I got some potato chips and chocolates.”

“That sounds great.” Jungkook caught Minghao’s glance towards Mingyu and wondered what the boy was thinking.

Mingyu opened up everyone’s lunch and they started to eat. There was no conversation at first but Jungkook decided it was now or never. He poked Mingyu hard in the thigh and looked him in the eyes fiercely. Mingyu got the idea and frowned deeply.

“So…” He dragged out. “Can I tell you something?”

Minghao pointed to himself. “Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Go ahead.”

Mingyu stared blankly at Minghao and then looked to Jungkook for help. Jungkook shrugged at his friend, wanting him to say it himself.

“This is hard for me.” He breathed out.

Minghao looked concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong just.” He sighed heavily. “I also-” He stopped a moment. “I like girls _and_ boys.”

Minghao’s expression changed from concern into confusion. “Wait. You’re not straight?”

“I guess not?”

Minghao looked to Jungkook and back to Mingyu. “Are you two together?”

“No!” They shouted in unison.

“Oh.” He looked back at Jungkook who obviously didn’t seem surprised by the conversation. “Did he already know?”

“I asked Jungkook advice because I was so nervous about telling you.”

Minghao’s expression softened. “Why were you nervous? We tell each other everything, right?”

“I know and that made me feel worse. I was keeping a lie from you and I thought that would upset you.”

“Mingyu. I know first hand how hard it is to figure out your sexuality. I understand that and I would never be upset at you for taking your time to be comfortable enough in telling me about it.” Minghao held on tightly to his best friend’s hand and Mingyu melted to the touch.

“I think I should leave you two to talk.” Jungkook stood up after grabbing his lunch and putting it in a plastic bag.

“You don’t have to leave.” Minghao told him.

“Minghao. That question I asked you before, was the answer yes?”

He stared at Jungkook wide eyed but soon nodded. “Yes.”

“It’s not unrequited.” He subtlety motioned to Mingyu with his eyes.

Minghao covered his mouth in shock. “Huh?”

“Mingyu, you owe me.”

“What? Owe you for what?” Mingyu looked around confused as Minghao’s face got red.

“I’ll see you guys later.”

Jungkook left the room hoping those two dense lovebirds would get their shit together. He had an inkling that it wasn’t unrequited love between them but it was made certain the moment he saw the look on Minghao’s face when he asked him about Mingyu. If only things could go so smoothly for himself, he thought.

He ate the rest of his lunch and put the snacks in his backpack to eat later during break at work. Without much to do he headed to the bookstore a bit early.

Seokjin was in the front of the store restocking coffee cups when Jungkook arrived.

“You’re here early huh?”

“I couldn’t wait to see the most handsome supervisor in the city.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere here at work.” He took a large stride toward the boy. “But as my friend it can, you are now my favorite dongsaeng.”

“I’m truly honoured.”

“Oh, Namjoon came by earlier and dropped something off for you.”

“He did?” Jungkook thought that he perhaps left something at the older boy’s apartment.

“It’s in the break room on the table.”

“Ah thank you.”

“But before you walk off I just wanted to share an observation. I’ve never seen Namjoon so clingy with someone before.”

“Y-you mean with me?”

“Jungkook, he wouldn’t shut up about you this morning when he was here. He’s busy so he uses his time wisely but coming here just to drop something off is a bit much. Also I’d like to point out that yes I complained to him in a text about you but I was just as surprised that he showed up with lunch.”

“He said that’s what friendship is.”

“No, I think that fool is starting to like you.”

Jungkook looked at Seokjin’s smug face in shock and tried but failed to say something relatively coherent in reply.

“Just go see what he brought you and you’ll understand.” Seokjin shooed him away with a smile.

Jungkook didn’t know what to think as he walked into the break room and saw something plastic on the table. He got closer and noticed it was a CD. The boy opened up the thin plastic CD and inside was a folded piece of paper.

 

_Dear Jungkookie_

_I kinda wanted to go old fashioned and make a CD for you. These are some of my favorites, some I want to recommend and some I’d love to maybe hear you sing someday??_

**_-Namjoon_ **

 

Beside each title and artist he left little notes on why he liked certain songs and reasons why he thought Jungkook might like them too. It was so well thought out and sweet that Jungkook couldn’t help but smile. But then he thought of what Seokjin said and he felt his face get hot. Was this Namjoon showing him affection as a friend or something more?

The boy looked over the list of songs and couldn’t wait to listen to them once he was back at his apartment. He decided to text Namjoon to thank him.

 

**Me**

1:44pm

_I got the CD. Thank you so much!!_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

1:45pm

_You’re welcome. Make sure you get back to me on which ones you like best :)_

 

**Me**

sent 1:45pm

_I will! And I’m thinking I should make one for you too._

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 1:47pm

_Really? Is it going to be filled with MCR???_

 

**Me**

sent 1:47pm

_Ya know what it just might be ;)_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 1:48pm

_Soooo I wanted to ask if you’d like to come to the studio again.. to actually see how I record and whatnot_

 

**Me**

sent 1:48pm

_I’m free later in the day on Saturday is that a good time? Will Yoongi Hyung be there too?_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 1:50pm

_That’s perfect. And no I’m pretty sure he’s traveling to Daegu this weekend._

 

**Me**

sent 1:51pm

_It’s settled then. We’ll meet on Saturday_

 

When Jungkook got home after his shift ended he was exhausted. Jimin was even more exhausted and neither of them had the energy to talk before heading to bed. The younger boy layed in his bed looking up at his ceiling willing himself to get up to change into clothes to sleep in.

He then remembered about the CD from Namjoon and immediately sat up to take it out of his backpack. He opened his old but reliable laptop and put the CD inside. The first track was light rock. It sounded beautiful and sad and Jungkook thought of Namjoon. He thought of laying in his arms when the older boy finally didn't look so sad, his face looked peaceful as he dreamed.

The next track came on and it was in English. It sounded somewhat familiar, like he might've even heard it playing in a store. He decided to look at the notes Namjoon left him and it said it was a newer gay artist. Surprising since he had heard it in Korean stores, they obviously not knowing much about the artist singing it.

The exhaustion slowly faded away as each track played and he grew curious about the music and the message behind each song. He later ended up falling asleep with his laptop open, still in his restricting work clothes. He slept deeply and dreamed about the stars. He dreamed that he picked stars from the sky to give to Namjoon, just to see his smile.

Because all he wanted was to see him smile.


	12. Some People Shouldn't Be Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dark pasts and nature photography

The next four days were very busy and eventful for Jungkook (well, at least for all his friends). Minghao ended up telling Mingyu that he liked him since high school and still did now. Mingyu thought he was joking and after lots of persuasion, he finally believed it. The two aren’t officially dating at the moment but are definitely showing signs of the _“honeymoon stage”_.

The poll results for their art club storylines were announced and it was a tie between Minghao’s story and a story about a talking cat. They decided to put the poll up for one more day and select the winner then.

Even Jimin and Yoohyeon were doing things they always wanted to do. Jimin officially joined the dance crew he met before college started and he was as busy as ever. In the past Yoohyeon had told Jungkook how badly she wanted to be a singer but was too scared to chase that dream. She finally auditioned for a music company and would be finding out any day now if she got in.

Jungkook felt all the passion from his friends, be it a budding relationship or chasing after a dream, but it made him look at himself and wonder where his passion was. It was only his first semester but he was still occupied with the mandatory classes. He wanted to dive into his photography but still felt held back.

The boy was working his morning shift at the bookstore and was meeting Namjoon afterwards. Today he decided against a button down so he wouldn’t have to change before they met. He wore a more fitted sweatshirt which didn't necessarily look great with his work vest but it was better than having to hang out in Namjoon’s studio in such an uptight outfit.

After at lot of mindless dusting it was finally time to clock out and go to the coffee shop Namjoon suggested they meet at. It was in a location Jungkook was familiar with but he never actually checked out before. The older boy told him they had the best coffee and cookies and was instantly sold.

Jungkook was surprised to see the older boy inside the shop already waiting for him, when he himself was there early. Namjoon was seated at a table somewhat in the back with his hair down wearing a light blue beanie. He wore a loose grey hoodie and darker sweatpants and Jungkook wondered yet again how he looked so effortlessly attractive.

Namjoon looked up from his phone and spotted Jungkook at the entrance. He waved the boy over and Jungkook awkwardly walked to him hoping he wasn’t caught staring.

“Hyung, you’re here early.”

“So are you.” Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

“I was going to buy the both of us coffee before you got here.” He saw the two coffee cups on the table. “You beat me to it.”

“I’m older, so let me be the one to do that.” He patted the table. “Sit before the coffee goes cold.”

Jungkook quickly obeyed and sat down. “Thank you.” He sipped his coffee and watched Namjoon stand from his chair.

“I’ll be right back.” The older boy walked to the front counter.

A moment later he was back with two chocolate chip cookies on a plate. They smelled like they just came out of the oven and Jungkook began salivating.

“Are those fresh?”

“They were sold out when I first arrived so I waited on a fresh batch. Worth it ,right?”

Jungkook picked up a cookie and broke it in half, the chocolate melting apart. He then taking a large bite and moaned in bliss. “ _Oh my god_ this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten.”

“It’s because they add twice as much chocolate chips.” He took a bite of his own cookie and smiled at the taste.

“Genius.”

Namjoon laughed and afterwards pointed out some chocolate on the edge of Jungkook’s lips. The boy blushed as he was handed a napkin. After they ate their cookies they decided to head out to the studio.

In the car ride there Namjoon told Jungkook about how terrible of a driver he used to be. But he had to get his license so he and Yoongi could move all their music equipment properly whenever they did shows. At that time Yoongi was recovering from a shoulder injury and it was all on Namjoon to keep everything going along smoothly.

Jungkook had lots of questions when it came to Yoongi and Namjoon’s past together but he didn’t want to overstep and ask something too personal again. He didn’t want a repeat of the last time he visited the studio.

It was pitch black when Namjoon opened the studio door. The room came to life as he flicked on the lights and the wall full of equipment looked more intimidating the second time around. The pillow was still sitting in Yoongi’s chair and it sat right beside Namjoon’s in the center.

Namjoon melted into his chair like it was a second skin as he turned on all the systems. Jungkook removed Yoongi’s pillow like he did before but instead the table was cleared of debris. He sat down comfortably and watched the older boy who was completely in his element.

“So, what was your favorite track on the CD?” Namjoon asked as he checked to see if the keyboard was plugged in.

“Fools by Troye Sivan.”

“Wow, no hesitation.” He laughed.

“I ended up looking him up and buying the album actually.”

“I’m glad I put that song on there, then.”

“Me too.” He smiled.

Namjoon cleared his throat. “That’s one of the songs I thought your voice would suit.”

“I’m not sure about that.” Jungkook fidgeted.

“Would you ever want to try doing a cover of it?”

He thought about it but couldn’t see himself pulling it off. “I’ve never seriously tried doing a cover before. I only sing in karaokes or in the shower.”

“You sang beautifully with those buskers. I’ve actually been wanting to record something with you ever since then.”

“Really?” Jungkook blushed.

“Yeah. I’ve only recorded with hip-hop influenced artists up until now. I haven’t really done something layed back and pretty. And your voice fits that style.”

“I’ll do it but on one condition.”

Namjoon stared at him amused. “Which is?”

“You sing with me.”

“Do you want the song to sound awful? My voice sounds like a hot mess compared to yours.”

“That’s the condition.” Jungkook said firmly.

“Hmm..” He chuckled. “Alright.”

“Anyway, I like your singing voice.”

“You’re the only one then. Yoongi roasts me on my singing all the time so I’m definitely not used to getting a compliment on it.”

“I’m a fan of when rappers sing, it’s always such a unique voice.”

“Unique is a strong word.” Namjoon laughed. “It’s like when someone says what they’re eating tastes _interesting_.”

“Hyung, just take a compliment.”

“Ok ok. Thank you Jungkookie.” He smiled as he looked away embarrassed.

“You’re welcome.”

Namjoon fidgeted in his seat and Jungkook would never admit it but he loved moments when the older boy squirmed and acted embarrassed around him. His heart fluttered at the thought that he made Namjoon flustered in any way, shape or form. He wasn't sure if it was the same way Namjoon made _him_ flustered but it was still a good feeling nonetheless.

“Did you want to try recording something now? Just to test it out?”

“Don’t we need an instrumental for that?”

“That’s usually how it’s done, yeah. You could still sing a few lines of Fools anyway?” He pleaded with his eyes.

Jungkook couldn’t say no to that face. He stood up and stepped inside the recording booth. “I’m only singing the chorus and that’s it.”

Namjoon gave him the thumbs up from the other side of the glass and then gave him a signal when he could start. Jungkook breathed in then out and softly sang the chorus of the song. He closed his eyes just as he did when he sang with the buskers. The chorus was short and simple and when he was done he opened his eyes again. Namjoon looked at him through the glass smiling. Jungkook came back into the main room and lingered near the door.

“That was great. I think I’ve got an idea for the instrumental.” Namjoon said as he patted the chair beside him. “Sit so we can listen back to it.”

The younger boy sat down and listened to his voice echo inside the room. It sounded so clean and clear that he almost didn’t think it was his.

“I didn’t use auto tune on your voice if that’s what you’re thinking. That’s just what a really good mic sounds like.”

“Really? It sounds so clear.”

“That’s why I think piano would work well with your voice. Just like when you sang with that pianist. I will ask Yoongi Hyung if he wants to do it for us, he’s an incredible pianist.”

“I didn’t know he played.”

“Yeah he did that before he started producing music with me. It’s still hard to imagine him in the past in a suit on stage playing Beethoven for a panel of judges.”

“He did that?”

“Yeah but that was before his parents was kicked out.”

Jungkook wanted to ask why but hesitated. Namjoon looked at the boy and turned the chair to face him.

“He was kicked out because his parents caught him kissing another boy. Yoongi Hyung is pretty vocal about how shitty his parents are so, you don’t have to worry about him being uncomfortable with you knowing.“

“They really just kicked him out?”

“Yeah. He was homeless when I was. That’s how we met.”

Jungkook looked at Namjoon in disbelief. “You.. were homeless?”

“Tae’s dad kicked me out when I was seventeen. But I was lucky it was only eight months. I got in an accident and since my records were already in the hospital I ended up at, they contacted him and he took me back in because he had to.”

“How can a parent kick out their child?” Jungkook couldn’t hide the anger behind his voice.

“I don’t know. Some people shouldn’t be parents.”

“Does it,“ He paused. “Have anything to do with your birthday.”

Namjoon looked at the boy as he sank more into his chair. “Not specifically. It’s complicated.”

“H-how did you survive those eight months?” He asked cautiously.

“Rapping. It saved my life. I did shows and later joined a rap crew whose places I’d crash at. Yoongi Hyung was part of the crew and we both instantly clicked musically. We created beats and sold them so we could have money for food. Music became our way to survive.”

“How did you get in the hospital then?”

“Ah, yes _that_. There was another crew in the area and I guess you’d say we didn’t get along. There were a lot of fist fights and one got especially bad when someone brought a metal bat. I got a concussion from being hit in the head. I was told I was lucky it was only a concussion and that I didn’t get any long term brain damage.“ He zoned out for a moment. “I was grateful to be taken back in because of that. It was the reality check I needed to get my life together. I went back and finished high school and afterwards went to college.”

“You’ve gone through so much. You’re really strong to have survived all that.”

Namjoon became quiet for a minute. “Yeah.. it was a lot.”

“I hope you’re proud of yourself and who you’ve become, because you’re a great guy.”

“I am proud. Thank you.” He smiled softly at Jungkook.

Namjoon showed Jungkook some songs he was working on and recorded a few things with him. It was fun and light, something needed after their talk about Namjoon’s and Yoongi’s pasts. A few hours went by and soon they got too hungry to continue and decided to order some chicken in.

The delivery guy came within minutes and they had their feast before them. They sat opposite each other and drank directly from the soda bottle because there weren’t any cups lying around (only used paper coffee cups). With a chicken wing in his mouth Namjoon became curious about Jungkook’s college life.

“How’s college treating you?”

“Good. That is until exams come, I’ve heard the horror stories.”

“Coffee will be the only thing keeping you alive when that time comes.”

“I hope it don’t ruin my taste for it.” He chuckled.

“What’s your major anyway? You never brought it up.”

“Photography.”

“Oh, that fits you.” He smiled and his dimples showed. “I would love to see your work sometime.”

“My portfolio is somewhere in my room. I kinda forgot about it since college started.”

“Hmmm. I’ve got an idea. We’ve been at the studio awhile so how about we go to your place? I wanna see that portfolio.”

“My stuff isn’t as exciting as your studio.”

“You think this place is exciting?” He motioned around the room. “Jungkookie, we need to get you out more.”

The younger boy blushed. “Alright we can go to my place after we finish eating.”

Namjoon clapped in success. “No backing out now!” He took a large swig of the soda and smiled wide.

Namjoon locked up the studio after they finished their food and they drove over to Jungkook’s apartment. He wasn’t sure if Jimin would be back from dance practice yet but a part of him hoped he wasn’t, Jungkook wanting as much time alone with Namjoon as possible.

The apartment was a bit of a mess, Jimin and Jungkook were too busy in the morning to clean up after everything. So they walked into the kitchen, the sink being full of dishes, papers all over the tables and clean laundry not yet put away. He spotted the shirt he borrowed from Namjoon on the drying rack, remember how in the morning he felt like he had forgotten something.

“I forgot to grab your shirt this morning.” He sighed at his forgetfulness and walked over to grab it. “Here, before I forget again.” He quickly folded the shirt and handed it to Namjoon.

“Thank you. You even cleaned it.”

“I’m sorry about the mess in here.”

“I get it, your busy.”

“My room has more space cleared so we can look at my portfolio in there.”

Namjoon followed Jungkook into his room and then it sank in that his crush was in his bedroom. And then the older boy sat on his bed which only made it worse. He collected himself as best as he could and pulled out his portfolio he had tucked behind his dresser. He placed it on his bed and let Namjoon open it up.

“Wow.” He picked up a large print of a water landscape. “This is beautiful.”

“T-thank you.”

“So your specialty is landscape?”

“I’m not good with people so taking pictures of nature felt more comfortable. But I want to take pictures of people too.”

“You could practice on me.”

“Practice on you?”

“I’m definitely not insinuating that I’m good looking enough for something like that but I’d like to help if I can.”

“You do know that you are actually handsome, right?”

“ _Me_? You saying that to me is like a joke.” He laughed to himself.

“A joke?”

“Because you’re gorgeous and I look like a potato next to you.”

Jungkook’s face heated up. “What are you even saying? What potato?” He mumbled.

“You’re better off doing self portraits actually. Those would turn out great.”

“No, I’ll take you up on your offer. I’ll take pictures of you.”

“Ok.” He looked at Jungkook and laughed. “That should be interesting.”

Namjoon went through the boy’s photographs one by one and complicated him heavily. He went as far as telling Jungkook that he thought each photograph deserved an award. The boy felt like he was about to burst but was saved when he heard his front door open. Jimin announced himself and Jungkook called back to him.

“I’ll be right out.” He shouted. “You can keep looking at those, I’ll be back.” Namjoon nodded and he escaped.

“Hyung!” Jungkook whisper screamed as soon as he reached Jimin near the kitchen.

“What? Is something going on?”

“Namjoon is in my room!”

Jimin made a face. “So, should I leave?”

“No! He wanted to see my photography and now is complimenting it like my mom does.” He whined.

Jimin laughed in response. “That’s hilarious.”

“Don’t laugh. I felt so embarrassed I was about to cry.”

“Yeah, right. Don’t try with that act. Deep down you’re enjoying the attention.”

“Shut up.” He crossed his arms and pouted.

“Invite him out here if you’re that embarrassed. I can make tea.”

“God bless you. I’ll do all the dishes tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah. Bring the dork out.”

Jungkook opened his bedroom door to find Namjoon neatly putting his pictures away inside his portfolio.

“Hyung, you want some tea?”

“Tea sounds good.”

“Come to the kitchen. You can just leave that on my bed.”

Jimin was boiling water and setting out mugs for each of them, his old mug making an appearance since it was technically their extra one. Jungkook sat at the table and Namjoon sat adjacent to him. The young boy was worried they’d be consumed by an awkward silence but Jimin soon saved them from it.

“How was going to the studio?”

Namjoon glanced at Jungkook, obviously interested in his answer. “It was a lot of fun. I learned a lot too.”

“We’re gonna record a cover together.” Namjoon’s eyes lit up.

Jimin stepped towards the table. “Really? You actually got him to agree to that?”

Namjoon nodded proudly. “Wasn’t too hard.”

“You are one powerful man Kim Namjoon.”

“Don’t give him all the credit! I’m the one who agreed myself. I can try new things too.”

“Ok I take it back, Kim Namjoon is one weak man.”

Jungkook tried to hold in his laughter but even Namjoon began to snicker and soon they were all laughing. After the laughter subsided Jimin handed out everyone’s mugs full of tea. They joked and bickered until the tea was cold and Namjoon saw the time and said he should get going.

It was only half past seven in the evening but Namjoon wanted to go over the tracks he was working on for the music company.

“We’re having a meeting with them on Monday so I’m extra paranoid since Yoongi Hyung isn’t here to go over everything one last time with me.”

“I didn’t know you were that busy. We could have rescheduled.”

“No, I needed some chill time today.” He put on his shoes and Jungkook was about to open the door for him. “This next month might be super busy for me so can we take a raincheck on the photos?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s still a promise I made to you so I’ll let you know when I’ve got some free time, ok?”

“Ok.” He smiled at the older boy.

“I’ll see you around.”

Jungkook shut the door behind Namjoon and Jimin came back and stood with him near the doorway.

“You two are becoming close.” Jimin smirked.

“Yeah, it’s nice.”

“Close enough to tell him about your secret love for him?”

“We’ll see…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We still have a major part of Namjoon's past to be revealed but I will say the strain on his family's relationships and being kicked out was a direct result from it..
> 
> I'll leave it at that.
> 
> If you have any theories please share! I'd love to read them!


	13. Welcome To Hope World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Busy schedules and YouTube personalities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to edit this quickly so I'm sorry if there are any grammatical errors or misspellings!!!

Jungkook hadn’t seen Namjoon in person for a month and two days, but who’s counting.

His daily life started to become more hectic and busy, so their space apart was somewhat more manageable. Minghao’s storyline won by two votes and for the past month they put together storyboards for the first five chapters. Minghao was busy with the plot while Mingyu and Jungkook created templates for everyone to follow so it wouldn’t take weeks to draw each chapter.

Once they started digitally coloring each page, that’s when it finally felt real. A few members of the club were in charge of editing and coloring the pages. Finally after all the prep, they would be uploading the first chapter today. It was both nerve-racking and exciting anticipating the feedback from the public, but no matter what they were proud of what they made.

Jungkook still talked to Namjoon nearly every day through text. The older boy told him how exhausted he was trying to please another producer who works for the company. They hadn’t realized they might have to change some things after they sent the demo track out. Yoongi and Namjoon were there every time the idol group recorded vocals and rap for the track. They had to if it was going to stick to the original, since the other producer had too many opinions to be trusted alone.

Along with his art club activities Jungkook's coursework became more heavy. He expected it but working on assignments, doing the artwork for chapters and working shifts at the bookstore was _a lot_. Namjoon reminded him that he’ll get used to it but to brace himself for exams, _It will only get worse_ being his exact words.

Jungkook was at lunch with Jimin and Minghao when he got a text from Namjoon.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:39pm

_You remember Hoseok right?_

 

**Me**

sent 12:39pm

_Yes ^_^_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:41pm

_He wanted to know if you and Yoohyeon would be willing to do a video with him on his channel?? He does a lot of LGBT related stuff. He said it’s about gay and lesbian friendships._

 

**Me**

sent 12:42pm

_I’ll ask Yoohyeon about it_

 

Namjoon gave him Hoseok’s number and a link to his channel then said he’d text the younger boy later. He clicked on the link and was surprised to see the number of subscribers. The header read, _It's Hobi from Hope World ❤ Let's Spread Some Hope_. Jimin was eyeing him once he finally put his phone away.

“What was that about? You looked a bit panicked.”

Jungkook sighed. “Hoseok, one Namjoon’s friends asked if me and Yoohyeon would do a YouTube video with him. Its about gay and lesbian friendships and I know Yoohyeon would be for it but I’m just not good at being in videos.”

“You’ve done videos before?” Minghao asked curious.

“Um no…" He could feel Jimin rolling his eyes from across the table. “But I’ve seen his channel and he’s got over a hundred thousand subscribers. That’s a recipe for disaster.”

“I think you should try it.” Jimin said.

“What if you thought about it like, you could help a gay kid watching the video?” Minghao pointed to his phone. “The internet helped me as a kid, especially videos from gay content creators. I imagine a lot of his YouTube following isn’t straight too.”

“He’s got a lot of points.” Jimin said with a shrug. “Worse case scenario? Hoseok doesn’t upload the video if you aren’t comfortable with that. If he’s friends with Namjoon I doubt he’s an asshole who wouldn’t listen to you. And he already seemed nice at your birthday party.”

“That’s true…” Jungkook nodded.

“What’s the channel name, do you know?” Minghao asked Jungkook.

“Hope World. And I’m pretty sure he goes by-”

“Hobi from Hope World?!” Minghao shouted. “You actually know him?”

“I only met him twice. I guess you watch his stuff?”

“Yeah I love his channel. He’s a dancer too, he’ll post dance covers sometimes but overall he’s a LGBT lifestyle channel. I can't let you say no now! You gotta do the video with him!”

“Thanks for the support.” He said in a monotoned voice. “Let’s stop talking about me and talk about you. How are you and Mingyu?”

“You can’t just change the subject like that.” Minghao whined.

“I wanna hear this too.” Jimin sipped his drink and waited for Minghao to begin.

“Alright!” He huffed. “It’s been awkward. At first we were all clingy but after I kissed him he got weird.“

“Weird how?”

“He’s all squirmy and makes excuses to leave when we get close to kissing again. Maybe he doesn’t like kissing me?”

“Let me ask this.” Jimin sat up straight. “ Are you experienced with boys?”

“I’ve.. dated a few in the past, so I guess?”

“That could be intimidating from Mingyu’s perspective.” Jungkook chimed in.

“You think so?”

“The biggest issue here is you’re not asking Mingyu about it but talking to us instead. It could be something trivial for all we know but you won’t know unless you talk to him.” Jimin said as he stood up to throw away his garbage. “I’m going to head to class first, see you guys later.” He waved with his free hand.

“He’s right.”

“He’s always right.” Jungkook laughed.

Jungkook and Minghao finished lunch and went their separate ways. Yoohyeon was working the same shift as him today so he could talk to her about doing the video in person.

Yoohyeon had been extremely busy the past month, being accepted into the music company. They were small and lesser known but she heard great things about the vocal coaches from other trainees. She liked everyone she had met so far minus one guy who just rubbed her the wrong way. Luckily she didn’t have to see him often.

She was at the register as soon as he walked in and she waved cutely as he made his way to the front counter.

“We’ve been lucky getting a couple shifts together in a row, huh?”

“I have no idea if it’s luck or Seokjin Hyung.” Jungkook shrugged.

“I wonder.” She fiddled with the chain on her necklace.

“Before I clock in I wanted to ask something.”

“Ok.”

“You know Hoseok Hyung from the gay bar and my surprise party, right? You guys seemed to click.”

“Yeah, we never exchanged numbers either of those times though.” She frowned.

“He wanted to do a video with us.”

“Hell yes!”

“I thought you’d say that.”

“I remember him talking about making videos. I’ve never done anything like that, so count me in.”

“Are you sure you have any free time? Your schedule has been packed nonstop.”

“It’ll probably be a stretch but I’ve already made up my mind.” She giggled.

“I’ll text him and see when we’re all free.”

Yoohyeon clapped happily. “I’m so excited!”

Jungkook clocked in before he forgot but ran into Seokjin in the break room on his way back out.

“I haven’t heard from Namjoon in a week, how about you?” The handsome man placed his hands on his hips.

“Uhh he texted me at lunch.” He avoided eye contact.

“Excuse me? That boy doesn’t reply to my text for a week but texts you at lunch like a school boy with a crush?” He laughed out in annoyance.

“Is it really important?”

“Yes, I asked him if he thinks lime green looks good on me.“

Jungkook looked at his supervisor puzzled. “ _That’s_ important?”

“Absolutely. I’m in the works for a new look for the next Drag night and I wasn’t sure on a color.” He said with conviction.

“Is he your go-to color guy or something?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Namjoon has gone so soft.” He shook his head. “I guess I’m more used to him falling off the planet digitally when he’s busy but he’s obviously made time for a certain someone.”

“I…” Jungkook bit his lip as Seokjin stared at him. “What do you think he’d say if I told him I liked him?” He boldly asked.

“Honestly?” He exhaled. “He wouldn’t believe you. And if it finally got through that thick skull of his, he’d say there are better guys out there for you.”

“Wait, why?”

“He’s not that confident in himself and he hasn’t had a great track record when it comes to dating.”

“What do you mean?”

“Namjoon is sweet but also very secretive. He has some bitter ex-lovers.”

“What about Yoongi Hyung?” Jungkook dared to ask.

“They never actually dated. It was like some weird tension between them for awhile, then they got over it and became business partners.” He let out a laugh. “Don’t worry about Yoongi though, just ask Tae.”

“Ask Tae what?”

“Really? Am I the only one who has eyes around here?” He said flabbergasted. “You’re all dense, not just Namjoon!” Seokjin laughed in disbelief before leaving the younger boy alone in the break room.

The younger boy was left stumped as he tried to understand the meaning behind what his supervisor had said. Maybe he _will_ ask Taehyung about Yoongi, he thought. Seokjin seemed to be the holy grail in regards to love and somehow knows everything that’s below the surface. Jungkook wondered if it was along the lines of _‘with age comes wisdom’_ or if Seokjin was actually a descendant of cupid.

Before he got lost in his work he sent off a text to Hoseok telling him Yoohyeon and he agreed to film with him. Jungkook was bit reluctant to follow behind Yoohyeon’s excitement but decided to give in, because like he told Minghao, Jimin is always right.

The boy’s shift was filled with light conversions with elderly women who came to donate books and Yoohyeon trying to pick a color that would best suit Seokjin, since Namjoon wasn’t going to answer any time soon presumably. Before everyone clocked out they settled on the color Sea Foam Green, Seokjin loving how pompous it sounded.

Over the next couple days Jungkook tried to mentally prepare himself for filming with Yoohyeon and Hoseok. They only had two free hours to work with considering everyone’s busy schedules but Hoseok assured him that it would be enough time. Yoohyeon and he met up after Jungkook finished his last class and they rode the subway line out to Hoseok’s apartment/work studio.

The two friends were impressed with the apartment building in front of them, not necessarily expecting the luxurious feeling as they walked inside the lobby. Even the elevator was fancy and had a mirror and tufted walls, a strange combination Jungkook thought. They reached the 20th floor and stepped out into a empty hallway, Hoseok’s door being at the end of the hall.

Yoohyeon was the one to knock on the door and not even a second later they were greeted with a wide smile and shrieks of joy.

“You’re both here! Let’s get started right away!” Hoseok welcomed them inside and showed them to his extra room dedicated to making videos.

There were lights set up in front of three chairs and a table. The walls were bare and white directly behind the lights but everywhere else in the room was covered in shelves, cabinets and pictures. It was obviously a place for work but was still very personalized and that made it feel comfortable.

“You can take a seat.” Hoseok motioned to the chairs. “ We can talk a bit before I start recording if you want?”

“That sounds good.” Jungkook sounded relieved.

“Our baby is nervous so we’ll need a second.“

“Yoohyeon!” He whined.

“Don’t worry about it! It can be daunting I know, I used to be nervous around cameras too. But I started by recording my dancing and later on felt comfortable enough showing my personality online.”

“You seem so comfortable in your skin I wouldn’t have guessed you were nervous before.” Yoohyeon said surprised.

“I’m loud and proud but showing that to a large audience is scary. It wasn’t always a large number of course.” He laughed. “But it’s not scary, it’s actually really fun if you let it be.”

Jungkook nodded and tried to forget about an audience but focus on the two _actual_ people in the room with him. “Ok, I think I’m ready.”

“Great!” He squealed. “Before we start I’ll just run a couple things over with you. As a warning I didn’t give you guys a heads up on the questions I’m going to ask because I want it authentic. But if you’re not ok with answering something I can edit it out, alright? Let's start!”

Yoohyeon cheered and Jungkook weakly but happily cheered along. Hoseok turned on the camera and held his bedazzled rainbow microphone (which was only for show).

“I’m your hope! You’re my hope! Welcome to Hope World!” Hoseok spoke to the camera with enthusiasm. “Today I have two guests for a new segment called “Ask The Gays.” And we’re starting it off with the topic of Lesbian and Gay friendships!“ He turned to Jungkook and Yoohyeon. “Please introduce yourselves.”

“Hi I’m Yoohyeon and I’m a lesbian.” She waved at the camera.

“Hello, nice to meet you I’m Jungkook and uh I’m gay.” He smiled and hoped he didn’t seem uptight.

“I’m going to ask you both some questions if that’s alright?” The two younger friends nodded. “Ok, so you’ve both known each other for a few months or so. You guys are pretty close now but before that, did you have any misconceptions about gay people or lesbians?”

“I did actually.” He said hesitantly. “I thought lesbians were really tough and rigid. But meeting Yoohyeon made me realize that was close minded of me.”

“Ohh I didn’t know that.” Yoohyeon said.

“Not my best moment.” He laughed nervously.

“Well, I thought all gay men were flamboyant and only talked about sex.” Yoohyeon shrugged. “Obviously some do, but Jungkook here is so quiet and pure I was surprised.”

“So both of you kind of changed each other’s perceptions then?” Hoseok said into his shimmering mic.

“Definitely. I didn’t even know any gay people before we became friends. She has taught me a lot too.”

“The gay baby to my cultured lesbian.” She made baby noises as she tried to squish Jungkook’s cheeks.

Jungkook made an attempt to push her off of him but only made it worse as she patted the top of his head instead. “She thinks she raised me.”

Hoseok laughed. “Did she? In terms of the gay community?”

“He didn’t know there were Drag Queens in South Korea.” She whispered loudly.

“Oh my god, leave me alone.” He pouted.

“I’m just saying.” She laughed.

“I guess she gets some credit but I would’ve gotten there eventually.” Jungkook smiled as Yoohyeon shook his shoulder and whined at the unjust statement.

Hoseok continued to ask questions and Jungkook soon forgot they were even being filmed. Yoohyeon made lots of jokes, one had Hoseok laughing so hard his face matched his red hair. There was only one question Jungkook didn’t want to answer which was related to his sex life (or lack thereof) and Hoseok politely skipped it and moved onto the next one.

“This is my last question for the both of you. Have you shared with each other the moment in your lives when you knew you weren’t straight?”

“Pretty early on actually. We trusted each other fairly quickly.”

“That’s true.” Yoohyeon agreed. “And it’s an embarrassing story too.”

“Oh, well now I’m curious.” Hoseok giggled. “You can’t just leave me hanging like that.”

“Alright..” Yoohyeon sighed. “It was during middle school. I got along with all the boys, I thought I was cool because of it too.“ She rolled her eyes at her past self. “So a girl came up to our group of friends and asked me if I was dating one of the boys and I was like, _ew no_.” She laughed. “Basically she gets mad because I call the boy gross. He picked his nose and tried putting it on my shirt so I was right, ok? But she got so mad she stepped really hard on my foot. After that I was persistent on becoming her friend, which seemed strange. We became friends and after she started dating the nose picking kid I realized I was jealous of him.”

”That wasn’t that embarrassing..” Hoseok eyed Yoohyeon. “I feel cheated.”

“I was jealous of a boy who put his boogers all over everything. As a lesbian that’s shameful. But if you want embarrassing just ask Jungkook.”

“Ohhhh are you willing to share?” The boy with the flaming hair wiggled his eyebrows.

Jungkook panicked. “Uhhhh.” His palms began to sweat and he rubbed them on his jeans. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to, though. That’s ok.”

He almost let Hoseok conclude the video but thought of what Minghao said to him. What if sharing his embarrassing story would help out a gay kid? Yoohyeon had shared a lot more than him and it didn’t seem fair if he didn’t try too so he decided, why the fuck not?

“No, I’ll share.” He smiled at Yoohyeon who watched him to make sure it was ok. “I was 15 and had girlfriends off and on. The first time I saw _him_ he was on the floor in his boxers, he had just fallen.

“In his boxers?!”

“In his boxers. I went over to help him but kinda went into some kind of daze after seeing how handsome he was. And the first thing I said to him was _“thighs.”_ It was humiliating and he laughed at the whole thing.“

“Did you see him again?”

“Yeah, over and over.”

“You poor thing.”

“He was sweet and never mentioned it but each time I saw him I became more and more curious about him. And of course I realized afterwards that it was because I liked him.”

“Have you seen him since?”

“Not recently.” Technically not a lie.

“If you could tell him one thing what would it be?”

Jungkook thought for a moment. “I’d want to thank him. He let me know I could love a person when I was scared that I couldn’t. Just, thank you.”

“That’s beautiful.” Yoohyeon held Jungkook’s hand.

“It is.” Hoseok said sweetly. “Thank you both so much for talking with me, it’s been wonderful.”

“Thank you for being such a great host.” Yoohyeon sang out.

“It was a lot of fun.”

“That’s the end of the video but remember to keep spreading hope around the world friends! See you next time, Hobi out!“ He made a peace sign at the camera and then got up to turn it off.

Yoohyeon clapped her hands and jumped out of her chair. “That went really well!”

Jungkook let out a long shaky breath. “Yeah, that wasn’t bad at all.”

“See! And we still have an hour left even with the amount of times we got sidetracked.” He snickered as his teasingly pointed to Yoohyeon.

“What? I love talking, sue me.”

Jungkook laughed as Hoseok moved the lights and the camera away from the chairs. The older boy invited them into his living room and asked if they wanted anything to drink, to which they said yes. He came back with a few cans of soda and sat down with his legs crossed on the overstuffed chair across from the two.

“I have some other stuff I’m editing but next week it should be up.“ He opened his can of lime soda and took a swig of it.

“I binge watched a lot of your videos last night and I’m excited to see how you edit our mess.”

“Wow I’m honored.” He bowed to Yoohyeon in his seat.

“I’m curious about something.” Yoohyeon got comfortable on the sofa.

“Ask away.”

“How did you become friends with Namjoon anyway? He was the one you had ask Jungkook, right?” Yoohyeon said smoothly and glanced at Jungkook to see him loose his cool.

“Oh, Joonie. I met him through Seokjin Hyung who met him through Yoongi Hyung. So, from a friend of a friend.. of a friend?”

“How did Seokjin Hyung become friends with Yoongi Hyung? They don’t seem like a typical match.” Jungkook asked.

“Yoongi used to DJ at a club Seokjin frequented, so it’s only been a couple years compared to our five years. And they clicked so instantly they became roommates only after six months. Honestly though, they are basically a comedy duo if you hang out with them long enough.”

“All of you seemed like you’ve been friends for years.” The younger boy was completely fooled by their chemistry. Before he was even willing to bet they all went to the same high school together.

“Yeah, our music boys are a new addition.”

“Are they all dating each other?” Yoohyeon whispered for no apparent reason.

Hoseok laughed so hard that he choked on his soda and had to quickly place it on the table in front of him to find his bearings. “I almost died.” He wheezed out.

“Oh my god are you alright?” Yoohyeon looked guilty.

He coughed. “I’m fine. But I can’t believe you asked that.” Hoseok cracked a smile. “The answer to that question is no. All of them have been single for awhile now actually. Are you trying to scope one of them out for a friend?” He glanced at Jungkook.

This time it was Jungkook’s turn to choke on his soda. “W-what do, huh?” He blubbered out.

“I don’t want to be the next one to choke on this soda.” Yoohyeon set her half full can on the table.

Hoseok shrugged while he smiled at Jungkook. “Just ask me if you need my help to set you up.”

Jungkook’s face grew red and he looked to Yoohyeon for comfort. Before he could even sputter out a word his phone began to ring. Almost like he was summoned, Namjoon was calling the boy and he panicked seeing the caller ID.

“Go on ahead and take it. You can use the recording room.” Hoseok gestured to the room they were previously in.

“Ah, thank you.” Jungkook scurried to the room and lightly closed the door behind himself.

He answered the call. “Hyung? Aren’t you busy?”

“Hello to you too.” Namjoon’s laugh was gruff and tired.

“Uh hi.”

“I wanted to call you because I thought it’d be quicker to tell you. Also I missed _actually_ talking to you.”

Jungkook felt all the blood rush to his head at the statement. “Um, so what did you need to tell me?” He said as stable as he could.

“I’m finally free, after tomorrow that is.”

“That’s great! You should sleep for a week.”

“Hmm but I made a promise to take pictures with someone.”

“Oh.” He gulped. “Yeah.”

“Do you have free time tomorrow?”

“I do actually, I have class in the morning and the afternoon off.”

“Perfect. Let’s meet at that cafe again at two?”

“O-ok.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow Jungkookie. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Namjoon ended the call and Jungkook forgot how to breathe.


	14. Come Lay With Me

Jungkook was in a panic all morning. He told Jimin about his plans with Namjoon and he teased him all night about going on his “ _date_.” Eventually though, after all the teasing his hyung told him to relax and just have fun. Jungkook had been so busy as well that he hadn’t even gone out with Jimin for their monthly bowling night, the younger boy’s obsession since last year. He knew he needed some down time but didn’t think it was going to be with Namjoon in the end.

All his classes had ended, one being cancelled last minute. He still didn’t feel mentally prepared enough to meet Namjoon early so he headed to the art club room in hopes that someone was there to distract his cluttered thoughts. The club door was open and he stepped inside to find Mingyu on his laptop wearing a blank expression. Jungkook knocked on the door to get his friend’s attention.

Mingyu flinched then cracked a smile as he saw Jungkook at the door. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“I had to, the situation called for it.” He walked over to the table and peaked at the computer screen. “What are you doing?”

“Ah, I’m checking the comments on _The Real Me_.”

The title of the story didn’t have a name until about a week before they planned on posting it. Jungkook was the one to come up with it and the club members in charge of editing were eager to pick a font to use for the title, an important detail most people overlooked. Little did they know his inspiration came from Namjoon and his stage name RM (which means Real Me). No way in hell was he going to tell anybody, knowing full well that they’d never let it go. Mingyu already roasted him for how soft he was for his first love, he didn’t want to give his friend anymore fuel.

“Anything good?”

“Yes actually. Today there were more positive comments whereas yesterday’s were a lot of mixed comments.”

“What’s the overall reaction?”

“It’s too early to tell. It’s only been out a few days and it’s just one chapter. But the percentage of positive feedback is higher going by today.”

Jungkook watched the screen as Mingyu scrolled through the comments and pointed to one in particular. “Wait, did you read this one?”

 

 _Anonymous user_ **_commented:_ **

_Is this one of those gay comics written by a straight girl :/_

 

“Yeah, Minghao screenshot that to me an hour ago.” He laughed. “Look at his reply.”

 

_**ArtClub commented** _

_I’m hella gay don’t worry babe ;)_

 

“Oh my god he _actually_ said that.”

“The winky face looks flirty, though.” Mingyu grumbled.

“Are you jealous of _Anonymous user_ , Mingyu?” Jungkook giggled.

Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows. “Um, no.”

“Very convincing.” He patted his friend’s back. “By the way, how are things with you two?” He asked remembering his conversation with Minghao at lunch a few days prior.

Mingyu tried to hide a smile. “It’s.. good. We talked last night about some stuff and I think we got closer.”

“Is _‘I think we got closer’_ code for something?”

Mingyu’s face grew red. “You’re gross.” He smacked Jungkook in the arm.

“Ok don’t tell me then!” He escaped Mingyu’s clutch and sat on the table across the room. “I’m glad you guys got closer. I sensed some tension.” He only knew because of Minghao but he wouldn’t mention that.

“You could tell? And I thought I had everyone fooled!”

“Why were you trying to fool us if you don’t mind me asking?”

Mingyu gently closed his laptop. “It was overwhelming.”

“Dating a boy?”

“Not just a boy, dating Minghao. It felt like a dream being with him but it was also intimidating too.”

“Because he had experience?”

“Yes and no?” Mingyu fiddled with the hem of his jacket. “I think the biggest thing was I didn’t want to do anything wrong? What if I hurt him? What if I wasn’t a good boyfriend? I was scared to cross the line of being friends because there’s no going back if I fuck up.”

“So you told Minghao all of this, then?”

“Yeah. He was mad at me.” He smiled sweetly. “But we promised to talk to each other when we feel vulnerable so that mess won’t happen again.”

“You guys are already winning in terms of relationships with that kind of communication.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. And it helps that you both are best friends so you really know each other.“

“It was stupid of me to think I could hide something like that from him, he knows me too well. I’m surprised I lasted as long as I did about hiding my feelings for him.”

“I’m surprised too. Minghao pretty much reads you like an open book.”

“There’s no denying that.” He smirked then looked at Jungkook quizzically. “Did you come in here for something?”

“Oh no, I just came here to see if someone was here.”

“What for?”

“Uhhh.” He fumbled. “To distract myself before I go see Mr. First Love.”

“Ooooo is it a date?”

Jungkook moaned out in distress. “I want it to be but I’m just taking pictures of him.”

“Just? Is it for an assignment?”

“No...”

“Hmpf.”

“Whaaat?” He whined.

“I don’t know, you tell me?”

“I don’t know either. ” Jungkook frowned. “He suggested it last month when he found out I majored in photography and he was finally free so he called me but he also said he missed talking to me and I’m just sitting here wishing it all means something.” He said all in one breath then inhaled to get some much needed oxygen.

Mingyu looked at his friend in understanding. “Is telling him sooner rather than later about your feelings an option? It could at least end this confusing and stressful cycle of what ifs.“

“I’ll think about it. I won’t promise anything but if it feels right I’ll tell him soon.”

“Ok.” Mingyu glanced at the analog clock on the wall. “ I need to head off but text me later about how it went.” He slid his laptop into a case then inside his backpack. Mingyu left an extra pair of keys to the room for Jungkook and left.

He still had an hour left to kill and decided Taehyung was next in line to distract him. He was curious about what Seokjin insinuated about the last time they talked and the more he thought about it the more suspicious they seemed. Taehyung had been a bit distant but he thought it was due to a busy schedule. Regardless of what it was, he missed his friend so what better way to greet him than by teasing him?

 

**Me**

sent 1:02pm

_Seokjin Hyung told me to ask you about Yoongi Hyung ;)_

 

**Tae**

sent 1:03pm

_whyyyyyyy?????_

 

**Me**

sent 1:03pm

_He said I don’t have to worry about Yoongi Hyung (like as competition) and said to ask you about it_

 

Jungkook didn’t receive the usual immediate text from Taehyung and was perplexed. After sitting with his phone in his palm for several minutes he finally got a reply.

 

**Tae**

sent 1:10pm

_Can we talk about this in person?_

 

Jungkook was caught off guard by the request but ultimately agreed to it. A part of him was worried that he dove into something serious and wasn’t sure what to expect from meeting his friend. They decided to meet near the college entrance since Taehyung was close enough to the school.

The younger boy leaned against the brick wall in front of the college and within ten minutes Taehyung arrived. His friend’s expression looked uneasy and Jungkook was instantly concerned.

“Tae, what’s up?”

“Can we walk a bit?”

“You’re kinda freaking me out Tae.” Jungkook stood in place.

“I’m sorry. It’s just this past month has been crazy for me, emotionally that is.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that then?”

Taehyung began to walk and Jungkook slowly followed. “Because I..” he paused and turned to look at the younger boy. “I like Yoongi Hyung.”

Jungkook was a bit underwhelmed by the information, expecting something colossal going by the way Taehyung was acting. “Have you told him?”

Taehyung let out a weak laugh. “He’s known for a long time. And he likes me too. We went to Daegu together for the weekend last month. That’s when he told me.”

“So, going to Daegu wasn’t for a photoshoot.” Jungkook thought out loud.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to jinx it by telling everyone about it.“

“I guess I get that. But if he likes you back, then what’s the issue?”

“I felt selfish and being with Yoongi Hyung felt wrong.”

“Why would it feel wrong?” He asked puzzled.

“Because I grew up seeing my brother and him together. They’re friends now but I found out Namjoon liked guys too because I walked in on them making out years ago.“

“ _Oh_.” It took a few moments for Jungkook to process what his friend said.

“When I told you back then I didn’t think it was important to say _how_ I knew he was bi.. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be sorry. It would have honestly crushed me if you gave me the full image of that.”

The two friends had been walking and found themselves near a park. Taehyung lead the way to a bench and sat down, Jungkook mirroring him. It was quiet for a minute as they sat and heard the sound of children laughing in the distance.

“They have a complicated history and I feel like I’m invading it.” Taehyung’s voice was strained.

“But it’s history, meaning it’s in the past. I doubt either of them would think you’re invading their friendship.”

“I don’t want to take time away from their friendship though. I don’t deserve it.” He let out a shaky breath.

“What are you talking about? What do you mean you don’t deserve it?”

Taehyung’s eyes began to water. “You don’t know the things I’ve said to my brother in the past. I was awful. And yet he still went out of his way to be a good big brother to me. He said recently that he has forgiven me but _I_ don’t forgive me.”

“What did you say to him in the past?” Jungkook finally wanted some kind of clear answer.

“I called him-” Taehyung’s voice cracked. “I called him a monster. I told him he shouldn’t have been born.” His friend finally began to cry.

“Why the fuck would you say that?” Jungkook couldn’t hide his anger and felt little remorse for Taehyung’s tears.

“It’s because of his birth father. I think it’d be best to hear the rest from my brother himself. I don’t want you to hear my side of the story because it should be from _Hyung’s_ side.“

Jungkook looked at his disheveled friend and grew frustrated. He shot up from the bench and walked off. He knew their conversation was at it’s end and it was no use sitting with the older boy when he wouldn’t budge on the matter. He didn’t know if he was mad at Taehyung or just disappointed but he know he needed to get away.

Jungkook rode the bus home to get his camera. He left it at the apartment not trusting his tired self to lug it around all morning and possibly dropping his prized possession. His camera wasn’t fancy and new but he still payed good money for it and wasn’t going to take any chances.

His camera was safely inside it’s case and around his neck. He decided to bring a jacket after seeing high winds in the forecast for the evening, knowing he’d get cold shooting the photos outside. Jungkook got an incoming text and was expecting it to be from Namjoon but saw Taehyung’s name instead.

 

**Tae**

sent 1:42pm

_I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now but I wanted to say… Thank you. It’s because of you that Hyung and I have finally gotten close. It’s because of you that I can redeem myself and finally become a good younger brother. Thank you Kook._

 

Jungkook stared at the text with mixed emotions. He was happy to have brought Taehyung and Namjoon closer together but was at a loss for what the next move was. Does he outright ask Namjoon about something he obviously didn’t want to talk about? That didn’t feel right to him but now he’s left with all these questions. Where is Namjoon’s biological father? What was the reason behind Taehyung’s father kidding him out? And it nearly brought tears to Jungkook’s eyes but was Namjoon’s childhood filled with loneliness and isolation?

It was 2:05pm and Jungkook was late. The bus he was riding got a flat tire, a broken beer bottle somehow pierced the front tire and he was stranded. In a panic he texted Namjoon explaining why he was late and went a bit overkill on the apologies. Namjoon texted him back in seconds asking for his location stating he had his car and could pick him up. Jungkook was revealed but felt a bit like a helpless child.

Only five minutes later Namjoon pulled up behind the forsaken bus. Jungkook rushed over and jumped inside and the older boy took no time to hightail it out of there.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m ok. But it _was_ scary for a second.”

“How can a beer bottle do that kind of damage to a huge bus?”

“The mechanic said the beer bottle pierced the tie earlier, maybe even a day ago. Air was slowly leaking out until it kinda popped?… so we ended up with a bumpy ride.“ Jungkook learned while half listening when the mechanic was talking to the bus driver previously.

“I should’ve just picked you up to begin with.” He sighed.

“Don’t worry about that. I’m fine and you saved me from hanging around with a bunch of strangers stranded.”

“Sooo, did you still want to go to the cafe?”

“I could go for a chocolate chip cookie right about now.”

Namjoon smiled wide, his adorable dimples showcased. “One large chocolate chip cookie coming up.”

They ordered the same coffees and cookies as last time, the cookies weren’t oven fresh but still tasted incredible. They ate in a comfortable silence occasionally looking up and smiling at each other, it felt organic yet dreamlike. Jungkook unsurprisingly finished his cookie first and drank down the rest of his coffee and watched the older boy as he licked the chocolate off his fingertips (definitely not perverted at all).

Jungkook left feeling satisfied and energised and was ready to start taking pictures. He unhooked his camera case and took it out, checking the lense for any smudges. He felt Namjoon’s eyes on him and it gave him a rush. He wanted to show the older boy a different side of him and was more excited than nervous about sharing it with Namjoon.

The sun was bright and Jungkook thought of how beautiful the light would look through the leaves of a tree. Namjoon asked the younger boy where he wanted to go and told him, _to the trees_. They drove a bit out of the center of the city to a park surrounded by gorgeous tall trees. Jungkook had never been in this area and was surprised with how quiet it seemed. Cars drove by but it didn’t feel like they were still in the city, it somehow felt serene.

“I used to come here when I was in college. It’s only a ten minute walk from here and coming to this park always cleared my head.”

“It’s really peaceful.”

Namjoon walked over to a tree and comfortably layed down underneath it. The older boy closed his eyes and a soft smile graced his face. In reflex Jungkook pulled up his camera and took a series of pictures. He shot many angles and tired to worked with the lighting he had. He got closer and took a close up of Namjoon’s peaceful expression. The older boy opened his eyes and his smile deepened as he looked up at Jungkook. Click. He stared at the picture he took and it was beautiful, all the credit going to Namjoon of course.

“Hey.” Namjoon said in a low voice.

Jungkook felt his heart rate go up. “Hey.”

“Come lay with me.”

“O-ok.” He fumbled as he set his camera in it’s case and placed it on the grass between them. He layed down and the sun was blocked by the leaves above them. Under the shade it felt a bit more chilly, Jungkook being glad he brought his jacket.

“How did it go with Hoseok?”

Jungkook stared into the sky not daring to turn his head to look at Namjoon fearing the intimacy. “It was great. He helped soothe my nerves before we started. It was really comfortable being around him so we finished quickly.”

“He has that affect on people.”

“You do too.”

“Really? I thought I just brought stress onto people.”

“Why would you say that?” Jungkook furrowed his brow.

“I don’t know.” Namjoon sounded apprehensive.

“Hyung. I hate when you do that.” Jungkook sighed. “It’s one thing to be humble but stop putting yourself down. You’re an amazing guy and you work so hard it makes me angry thinking that your self worth is so low.”

There was silence. Jungkook grew anxious, worrying he went too far reprimanding him. He cautiously turned his head to peak at Namjoon but found that the older boy was already staring at him. They were close, the closest he’s ever been to the older boy. They locked eyes and Jungkook froze. Namjoon's eyelashes casted a pretty shadow underneath his eyes and Jungkook couldn’t help but stare. He looked at the few freckles on the older boy's face. One sat on his nose, pretty and faint. Another was just below his plump lips, a bit more noticeable than the other. He willed himself not to stare at Namjoon’s lips and instead locked eyes with him again.

Jungkook didn’t expect it but Namjoon leaned forward. He could feel his heart beating furiously and wondered if the older boy could hear it. He unintentionally held his breath as the older boy was mere inches away from him. Jungkook was about to close his eyes but he felt Namjoon’s arms wrap around him and he instantly felt warm. The younger boy confused but happily hugged back.

“I’ll work on that.” Namjoon whispered.

“Ok.” He whispered back.

Jungkook didn’t know how long they layed in the grass hugging but after some time the wind made it unbearable to stay on the cold ground any longer. It was a quarter to five once they were back in the center of the city again. Jungkook already felt hungry so they decided to eat some dinner. Namjoon payed for the meal, even with the younger boy's protest.

There was a newer restaurant Namjoon wanted to try and after a bit of a wait they were seated. It had a very cool atmosphere and it felt very fresh. Interesting art covered the green walls and the lighting wasn’t as harsh as other public places. Namjoon hadn’t told him what food the restaurant served but was surprised when he saw the menu full of tacos.

“Seokjin Hyung told me about this place last month and couldn’t shut up about the fish tacos.” He chuckled.

“I’ll order that then.”

“Good, I hate fish so I’ll get a beef one.”

The waiter took their order and after a long wait their food arrived. Jungkook honestly never had tacos before and was a bit too eager to stuff his face. He took a large bite and couldn’t believe the flavors. He had to pace himself as he ate everything on his plate but still finished way before Namjoon.

“That was fucking amazing.”

Namjoon laughed in reply and soon finished the rest of his food as well. Jungkook admired the Instagram worthy photos he took of his plate on his camera as Namjoon walked them back to his car. It was a bit of a walk, it being hard to find a parking spot earlier but he enjoyed the subtle breeze and hearing Namjoon’s footsteps beside him.

The sun was beginning to set and the orange glow looked pretty against the buildings. Jungkook naturally took out his camera and stopped to take some pictures. The older boy sweetly watched Jungkook but he soon became the subject once more.

“Hyung. Stand right there.” He pointed to a brick building. “Stand in front of the light.” He helped verbally position Namjoon. “There. Perfect.” He snapped picture after picture not wanting to miss the perfect shot, which he didn’t.

“Good?” Namjoon asked after Jungkook went through the pictures on the screen.

He smiled and nodded. “Very good.”

Namjoon blushed and Jungkook felt his stomach threaten to flip. He bit his lip as he stared at his flustered Hyung. Namjoon turned embarrassed and began to walk once again but stopped after only a few steps. Jungkook caught up to him curiously and found him glaring at a gruff young man on the sidewalk.

“Let’s go.” Namjoon grabbed the younger boy’s hand and tried to walk past the stranger.

“Oh no you don’t.” The stranger laughed. “Where are your manners Rap Monster?”

“I don’t go by that anymore. Excuse me.” He tried to walk by again but was blocked.

“Sorry I didn’t know you changed it. It’s been too long I guess.” He grossly smiled.

Jungkook tugged on Namjoon’s hand and whispered. “Who is he?”

The stranger heard. “Me? I’m an old friend, you can call me King K.”

“We were never friends.” Namjoon spit out.

“Well, you made sure of that. My brother is in jail because of you.” He snarled.

“He was the idiot who swung a metal bat at my head. I could’ve died.”

“Fuck that. We were all at rock bottom and you just let him go rot in jail you son of a bitch.” The stranger pushed Namjoon hard on the shoulder and he fell back a couple steps.

Jungkook stared between them helpless. He tugged on Namjoon’s hand again and saw the anger and fear in the older boy’s eyes. The stranger finally looked over at Jungkook and scoffed. “And now you got yourself a new pet? You fucking homo. You’re disgusting and both of you should be in prison instead of my brother.” This time he pushed Jungkook and he nearly tripped over his feet onto the pavement.

A small crowd of people began to gather and watched. Jungkook became furious seeing people only stare and no one making any move to help them. He pulled Namjoon’s hand and pushed past the angry man. Not even a second later he felt a forceful tug and turned around to see the man pulling Namjoon’s hand towards him and punching him square in the face. The crowd gasped but did nothing to stop it.

“Don’t hurt him!” He screamed and ran to release Namjoon from the man's grip.

The last thing Jungkook remembered was his camera being taken from around his neck and feeling something cold and metal-like hit his head before it all went to black.


	15. You Deserve To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blurry vision and an unexpected visit

Jungkook’s mind felt foggy as he heard muffled voices above him. He tried opening his eyes but they felt heavy and any amount of light that he saw made him feel sick to his stomach. He moaned out and attempted to move but his left arm was constricted and the extra movement made his head begin to pound. He felt a soft touch on his face and a similar high voice.

“M-mom?” He cracked out.

“Yes honey it’s Mom. Can you wake up for me?”

He moaned again. “The light hurts.”

“Ok we’ll turn the lights off.”

Jungkook peaked one eye open and the room was dark except for the warm glow behind the curtains. He slowly opened both eyes and luckily the action didn’t bother his stomach. The room was stark white and unfamiliar. “Where am I?” He looked down and now saw that his left arm was in a sling and in a cast.

“The hospital, son.” His father’s low soothing voice answered.

Jungkook was disoriented but could only focus on how unbelievably dry his throat felt. “Can I have some water?”

“Here.” His mother handed him a plastic cup with a straw and he took a long sip. The water felt refreshing and his throat craved more.

“Thank you.” He continued to sip on the water as his eyes wandered around the room.

Jungkook’s older brother stepped close to the bed. “Do you remember what happened?”

His mother swatted his brother. “He just woke up, leave him be. Instead please go notify the doctor he’s awake.” She shooed him away and he rushed out the door.

His head still hurt but he could remember the fight between Namjoon and that asshole. But the image of his camera being taken from him left him confused. “Where’s my camera?”

Jungkook’s father looked at him and frowned. “I’m sorry but it’s in police custody at the station. It also didn’t hold up when it hit the sidewalk.”

“Why is it at the police station?”

“For evidence.”

“Evidence?” He sat up but winced as his head throbbed.

“Honey let’s save that talk for later.” His mother shushed her husband.

A doctor and nurse soon entered the room and greeted him and his family. The doctor stood at the end of his bed and introduced himself.

“Hello I’m Doctor Yang. How are you feeling right now?”

“Uhh a little dizzy and my head hurts.”

“That’s normal. Anything else hurt?”

“No.” Jungkook tried to find a clock in the room, wondering how long he’s been out.

“That’s good. Your blood work came back fine as well so that’s good news. Do you have a clear memory of what happened?”

“Yes.” He said quietly.

“Your wrist broke your fall after you were hit in the head, so luckily your concussion is on the mild side. But when the camera hit you it was with some good force, so we still need to keep a close eye on that noggin of yours.”

“So my wrist is broken?”

“I’m afraid so. It should heal in eight weeks or longer.”

“What about the concussion?”

“In about three weeks. But remember these are generalized healing times and each person heals at a different speed.”

“Ok.” Jungkook handed the empty plastic cup to his mother beside him. “Where is my friend?”

“He came with you on the ambulance and received treatment but checked out to visit the police station.”

He felt panicky. “Was he alright? He was punched hard.”

“He’s fine, don’t worry. We were planning to have you stay here overnight because of your concussion but your family will be taking you home instead. You’ll have to be monitored closely for the next day or so.”

Jungkook was a little disappointed that he had to go back home but understood that it was needed. “Ok.”

“Before you leave we’ll go over symptoms to watch for and the medication you’ll be taking for those.“

It was the nurse who went over everything with him, including the fact that someone from the police station would come tomorrow to ask some questions. After paper work and payment they all left in the familiar family SUV. Jungkook sat silently in the back seat and went over all the facts. He was out for about an hour before he woke up. All his friends visited the hospital but his mother told them it was best to go home because Jungkook couldn’t handle too much chatter or company at once, having to take breaks even talking with the nurse.

But then that left Namjoon. He wanted to get in contact with him but his mother had his bag with all his things, including his phone. The doctor assured him that his Hyung was alright but he felt like he wouldn’t be able to settle down until he heard Namjoon’s voice telling him himself.

It was strange pulling up to the apartment complex he used to live in. He only moved out about three months ago but it somehow felt much longer. Jungkook’s brother stuck to him like glue as they walked through the parking lot and to the elevators. His father held his bag and his mother watched the younger boy like a hawk for any signs of discomfort.

They reached their floor and were greeted by an extremely distraught Taehyung. He looked at his friend and smiled softly and Taehyung straightaway began to cry. Jungkook escaped his brother’s hold and walked over to the crying boy and hugged him tight. His family stood by for a moment but surprisingly his mother directed for the rest to go inside first, herself included.

“I’m sorry.” Taehyung choked out.

“Shh it’s ok.” He rubbed his friend’s back to calm him.

“I was so scared when Hyung texted me that you were at the hospital.” He sniffled.

“I’m alright, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Your arm is broken and you got a concussion, you’re not Superman.” His friend pulled away from the hug to scold him.

“I’d rather be Iron Man.” He smiled.

“Really, Kook?” His friend said dryly as he wiped away his tears.

Jungkook smiled. “I had to.”

Taehyung playfully rolled his eyes. “Oh, did you see my brother? Earlier he texted me that he finished at the station and he was going to see you.“

Jungkook frowned. “No I didn’t see him. We must’ve just missed each other when I left with my family.“

“I’ll tell him you’re home safe. Now go on inside! And don’t overexert yourself.“

“Ok, ok!” His friend waved as he shut the door behind him.

His parents were lingering in the living room as he walked inside, he mother looking restless. “Are you hungry? I can put something together for you.”

The boy remembered the tacos he ate before he blacked out and wished he was back there eating fish tacos with Namjoon. “No thanks, I’m fine for now.”

“Alright. But tell me when you get hungry, I don’t mind cooking something up for you.”

“Thanks mom.” He noticed his backpack sitting on the living room couch next to his father. “Can I have that?” He pointed.

“No working on assignments.”

“Dad, it doesn’t even have my work inside it, it’s just my camera and phone.” He sighed.

“Just relax, you can get to your phone tomorrow.” His father patted the seat cushion beside him. “Sit with your Dad. We haven’t talked lately.”

Jungkook groaned internally feeling like he was back in middle school. “Fine.” He plopped down on the couch.

“How has college been?”

“It’s been busy, but good. I’ve made some new friends though.“

His father’s face lit up. “That’s great!”

Jungkook knew mentioning his new friends would make his father happy. In elementary school and middle school he considered his father his only friend. School was lonely but at least he’d play games with his father when he came home from work. When he became friends with Jimin his father was happy for him and encouraged him to go out and just be a kid.

“A lot of friends actually.”

“I was in the room with you but your mother mentioned that you had a group of people in the waiting room for you. You’ve become very popular.” He said proudly.

“No way, I’m not popular.”

“I _did_ get to meet one of them. That kid who rode the ambulance with you was a gentleman.”

Jungkook perked up. “You met him?”

His father smiled. “We saw him early on but I only officially met him as we were leaving. When your mom and a nurse were helping you to the car I saw him at the main desk asking if you had left yet.” He stretched and sank more into the plush couch. “You two must be close.”

Jungkook gulped. “Yeah…”

“His poor eye was black and blue and he looked exhausted but he only asked how you were doing. You hadn’t even woken up before he had to leave for the station so he was worried sick.” He held his son’s hand. “I’m glad you’ve found such a good friend.”

The boy’s heart ached as he thought of Namjoon. “Me too.”

Jungkook spent the rest of the evening relaxing and eventually his mother made him a late dinner, which ended up being way too much food so his brother ended up joining. His parents told him not to worry about classes the next day and he tried to protest but his mother put him in his place. He would basically be babysat by his brother all day tomorrow and he wasn’t necessary looking forward to it.

___________

He slept in late and that alone felt the most healing. He woke up without any dizziness and was relieved. After dragging himself out of bed he saw his brother in the living room on his laptop drinking some banana milk.

“Morning sleeping beauty.”

He ignored the teasing. “What time is it?”

“Almost one.”

“Shit. I haven’t slept that long since before I moved out.”

“You’ve finally become an adult.” His brother fake cried.

“What about you then? Moving back home?“ He teased back.

“Excuuuuse me,” He said full of sass. “For not turning Mom and Dad down when they welcomed me back home after all my college debt made it hard to rent. I’m your future.” He waggled his finger at Jungkook.

“We’ll see.” He waggled his finger back but ultimately let it go. He knew that it had more to do with a serious relationship that the family thought was leading to marriage but instead ended abruptly. His brother was devastated and coming back home was the only logical thing to do, at least that’s what his mother said.

“Oh I forgot to say, Mom left food you can reheat in the fridge.”

“Thanks.” Still in a sleepy state he stumbled into the kitchen and saw soup and a note saying that the rice cooker was set up and to just press the _On_ button. He smiled at his mother’s loving gesture, realizing how much he missed moments like these. And who wouldn’t miss their mother’s cooking (unless she was a terrible cook)?

After eating and cleaning the dishes he used, he felt like he was almost back to 100%. He remembered that his backpack was left in the living room and was eager to text everyone that he was ok. His phone’s battery had died so he plugged it in the charger and ate some snacks on the couch as he watched his brother edit a picture he had drawn. After two hours of boredom, his phone was fully charged.

He had five missed calls. Two from Jimin and three from Namjoon, both from this morning. The rest were missed texts from his friends asking how he was doing. He got a separate work text stating that when he came back to work he’d work register because of his cast. But he wouldn’t be going back to work immediately. His parents told him not to worry about his shared part of the rent with Jimin for the month and to take it easy instead. Jungkook felt spoiled but was grateful to his doting parents.

After replying to everyone’s texts he listened to his voicemail. The latest message was from Namjoon.

 

_“Hi I got cut off. Umm. I wanted to visit you today if that was alright? You can uh call or text me back. I hope you are doing ok. Well, bye.”_

 

The next message played.

 

_“Hi uhhh I was going to text but I don’t know if you’re up yet but i guess calling again doesn’t make a difference either, huh? Oh it’s Namjoon by the way. I tried seeing you last night but I saw your Dad instead, he was cool. So how are you? It sucks that your arm is broken. Did you sleep well? Oh, you might be sleeping right now. Did you-“_

 

Jungkook smiled listening to Namjoon’s rambling mess, finding it endearing and sweet. Namjoon’s next message played (technically the first one he left) and he hated the sadness and guilt he heard in the older boy’s voice.

 

_“Hey it’s Namjoon. I just.. I’m sorry I got you mixed up in my shit. I’m so sorry you got hurt.”_

 

The last thing Jungkook wanted was for Namjoon to blame himself but it seemed like it was too late. The next messages played automatically. Jimin only left the message a few hours ago, telling him that he loved him and to contact him when he was better enough to hang out. The next message surprised the younger boy and left him red-faced.

 

_“Jungkookie. Namjoon keeps texting me and hounding me with questions about you. Your boyfriend is driving me crazy please get better soon.“_

 

 _Boyfriend_. He wished. But he was curious what the older boy was asking his friend, Jimin not giving him the full details. His brother made fun of the multiple face journeys he had to witness watching his brother going through his messages. He finally excused himself when he said he was going to shower before the police officer came over. Jungkook felt the nerves start to build, completely forgetting someone from the station was coming over at half past three. The boy freshened up and changed into something more appropriate than a very wrinkled Avengers T-shirt. He paced the living room until he was scared by the doorbell ringing, he brother annoyed but the dramatics.

Jungkook greeted a handsome slender man and invited him inside. “You can sit over here if you’d like.” He gestured to the kitchen table.

“Thank you.” The man sat down across from Jungkook. “I’m Detective Jung, I’ll just be asking you some questions about the man who attacked you.”

Jungkook gulped as he nodded. “Alright.”

“Firstly, you’ve never seen that man before?”

“No.”

“Your friend gave us the name King K but neither of you know anything more about him?”

“No, I’m sorry.”

“Ok. What caused the argument?”

“The man’s brother had hurt my friend in the past, causing him to go to the hospital. But his brother is in prison now. He basically said it was my friend’s fault. Then he started pushing him around.”

Detective Jung wrote in his notebook. “And afterwards he attacked you?”

“He pushed me as well and after I tried to run, he punched my friend. I attempted to help my friend but that’s when he took my camera and hit me in the head with it.”

“And did he say anything specific to you? Did he only attack you because you were there?”

“He…” Jungkook took a deep breath. “He said derogatory remarks, calling me a pet and saying I was disgusting because he assumed I was gay.”

“Are you?”

Jungkook made a sour face. “Is that important?”

The man shook his head. “I guess it isn’t, sorry for asking something inappropriate.“

“It’s fine.” Jungkook let it side.

The man cleared his throat. “Both of your stories match. As for the man who attacked you, your friend said he ran off as soon as he saw you hit the ground. We tried interviewing people in the area because we were told there was a crowd watching but no eye witnesses have come forward with information on what direction he headed.”

“So you have no leads..” Jungkook said emotionless.

“He used to be an underground rapper according to your friend, so we’ll be looking more into that.”

“Ok.”

“We are taking this seriously and there is a warrant out for his arrest. The way he attacked you was an attempt to severely injure you. We’ll be working hard on this case to keep the city safe from him doing something like that again.”

“Thank you.” He weakly smiled.

“I’m just doing my job.” He smiled back. “If you happen to remember someone new please don’t hesitate to call this number.” He handed Jungkook a business card.

He took the card and thanked him. Jungkook stayed seated at the table as his brother walked out the Detective. After locking the door his brother cautiously walked to the table.

“I went to my room to give you some privacy but I still heard parts of it.”

Jungkook stilled. “Which parts?”

“The part when he asked you were gay.”

“Oh.” He felt his mouth go dry.

“Why didn’t you just say you weren’t?”

“Because I shouldn’t have to disclose information like that when it doesn’t help the case.”

“I’m not trying to make you talk but if you are gay I’m cool with it.” He shrugged.

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “W-what? Really?”

“Yeah. I know I used to say homophobic shit but I’ve got a gay friend now at my new job and he’s taught me so much about graphics and animation. He’s a great guy and I realized how stupid it was of me to think gay people were wrong for being themselves.”

“Thank you.” He said softly.

“You’re welcome.”

His brother walked over and messed his perfectly styled hair. Jungkook usually would give him lip for messing around but was happy by how normal it was. His brother didn’t press him for any kind of explanation, no need for a long coming out story. He never imagined coming out to his brother would be so simple and he only wished he’d done it sooner.

“Most importantly I wanted to say it was brave of you, ya know, you could’ve run away but you tried to help your friend instead.”

“The adrenaline rush helped.” He cracked a smile.

“You could probably lift a car on an adrenaline rush.”

Jungkook laughed. “Could you imagine?”

The two brothers laughed but were interrupted by the doorbell ringing once again. They looked at each other confused and Jungkook got up from his seat. His brother thought perhaps the Detective forgot  something. Instead of the tall somewhat unreadable Detective being behind the door Jungkook was welcomed by a bruised up Namjoon.

“Hyung!” Jungkook couldn’t control himself and sprung onto Namjoon and tightly hugged him.

“Hey Jungkookie.” He sweetly pet Jungkook’s head with his free hand. “Sorry I came uninvited but I brought chicken in hopes I’d be forgiven.” He held up the boxes of fried chicken and Jungkook squealed for joy.

“Come in!”

“Do I smell chicken?” Jungkook’s brother popped up behind him.

“Sorry to intrude.” Namjoon slipped his shoes off.

“You brought food, how could we turn you away.”

“I’m Namjoon.” He deeply bowed.

“I’m Jungkook’s older brother, Junghyun.” He lead Namjoon to the table. “So, you’re the guy Jungkook was with yesterday?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

“Are you two dating?”

Namjoon’s eyes bulged while Jungkook choked on his saliva. “Uhhhh we’re friends.”

“I already know my brother is gay you don’t have to hide it.” He shrugged.

Jungkook was too scared to speak, worried he’d say something stupid. Namjoon looked at the younger boy then to Junghyun. “Jungkookie is really cute but we’re just good friends.” He smiled.

Now he wished he said something stupid because it would’ve been better than indirectly being turned down (in front of his brother no less). He always knew in the back of his mind that it was all false hope but he couldn’t help but think what if? “Yeah. Good friends.”

“Oh.” His brother said surprised. “You know what, since you’re here I can run an errand now.”

“You can eat before you go.” Namjoon suggested.

“No thanks, I’d rather get out quick to do it.” He walked swiftly around the corner to the front door but called Jungkook to grab his keys for him. Jungkook rolled his eyes as he collected his brother's keys.

“Here are your keys, sir.” He deadpanned.

“Hey.” He whispered.

“What.” Jungkook whispered back confused.

“That guy is slow. You two were so lovely dovey at the door.. is he in denial or something?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Maybe try to fix that while I’m gone.” He pulled his sneakers on and left.

Jungkook stood near the door dumbfounded. Even his brother thought Namjoon likes him? What kind of alternate universe had he accidentally entered for this to happen? He didn’t realize he was spacing out until he heard Namjoon’s concerned voice call for him.

“Coming!” He turned the corner fast and suddenly felt dizzy. He squinted his eyes and quickly leaned against the wall.

“Are you ok?” The older boy’s voice was closer now. “I’ll help you to the couch.”

He quietly agreed, feeling like if he talked too soon that he might throw up. Namjoon very gently cupped the young boy’s head and placed a pillow underneath it. His eyes stayed closed as he asked his Hyung to turn the lights off. He could feel Namjoon awkwardly standing above him and told him to sit down. He felt the cushion dip near his head and peaked to see Namjoon twiddling his fingers.

"Chill out.” He fully opened his eyes. “I’m fine.”

“I guess I’m just extra protective now.”

“I don’t think much has changed in that aspect to be honest.” He smirked.

Namjoon looked down at Jungkook with an expression the younger boy didn’t know how to interpret. “I was fucking scared, Jungkookie.”

They looked at each other and Jungkook could see the same fear and anger in his eyes from the other day. “I was too.”

“When he hit you I never felt so much rage. I wanted to tear him apart but you were the first priority so, he got away.”

“I hope you don’t blame yourself.”

“Jungkookie. It was my fault. That was bullshit from my past and you got hurt because of it.”

“You didn’t tell him to hurt me so you have no business saying it’s your fault.”

Namjoon shifted and looked at Jungkook with a serious expression. “I have something I need to tell you.”

The younger boy slowly sat up. “What is it?”

“About my past.”

“You don’t have to, Hyung. I could see last time how hard it was to talk about.”

“No, you got hurt because of me. You deserve to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***** About tomorrow's chapter ******
> 
> Next chapter is in Namjoon's point of view. It's a very heavy chapter and I'll be adding new tags as a warning for people who might not feel comfortable reading it.
> 
> A heads up here. There will be mentions of past rape, suicide attempt, suicide and extreme paranoia. Read on with caution.


	16. I'm Not A Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family secrets and lost souls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***Warning***
> 
> Read with caution! I added tags for this chapter so read those before reading the chapter.  
> ______________ 
> 
> The long awaited reveal of Namjoon's past, please enjoy.

Namjoon was eight years old when he found out the person he thought was his dad, wasn’t. It wasn’t as life changing as some people may think but Namjoon didn’t feel cheated or want to meet his biological father. He loved his family and he thought that was all that mattered.

He adored being an older brother. They were only a year apart but Taehyung looked up to him and it made him feel important. They were attached at the hip during elementary school and all the teachers affectionately called them _the sweet Kim boys_. Once they hit middle school they sadly separated, Namjoon going to a more prestigious school because of his high IQ. But there were no sour feelings between them, at least regarding school.

It was on his ninth birthday when he overheard a conversation between his mother and father.

“At what age do we tell him?” His father’s voice was aggravated.

“Honestly?” His mother sighed. “I don’t ever want him to know.”

“Are you kidding me? You still deal with PTSD because of it and he’s the cause of it.”

“Don’t you dare say that about my son. He is a gift.” His mother spat out.

“I’m only saying that because it’s getting worse again. You don’t have to burden this all on your own. And he should know what happened.”

“He’s a child, he shouldn’t have to be told something so awful. And I’m not dealing with this alone, we’re married. You support me in times like these.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

He watched as his parents hugged and he slipped away not to be seen. The boy didn’t understand a lot of what was said, but he understood the frustration in their voices. He hated that he was the cause of it and wanted to show his parents that he was a good boy and wouldn’t let them feel that way again.

After lots of cake and opening presents (with the help of Taehyung) he walked over to his parents who were seated on the sofa together.

“I’m not sure what I did but I’m sorry. I heard you talking and you sounded upset. I’m sorry Mom and Dad.”

Namjoon wasn’t sure how to properly show how sorry he was but decided it was best to bow. He kneeled down on the floor and deeply bowed holding it for a moment, just like he was taught. He smiled as he sat back up, sure that he made his parents proud. He was horrified to see his mother with her hand over her mouth, tears streaming down her face. She bolted off the sofa and Namjoon looked to his father for some kind of explanation. His father shook his head and slowly walked after his mother who had ran upstairs. Namjoon always remembered that day as the first time he made his mother cry.

For the next couple years things seemed normal. The brothers naturally had other friends and didn’t play together like they used to but they still loved each other. The first time Namjoon noticed a change was when he found a notebook stuffed under his pillow. In black scribble on the first page it read, “ _You’re evil_.” He was confused and scared as he read it over and over again. He recognized the handwriting but didn’t want to believe it. He slid the notebook back under his pillow and tried to forget about it.

Namjoon did forget it, for about a month. But when he flipped his pillow during one night to feel the cold side he felt the metal spiral against his fingers. He got up and turned on his lamp that sat on his side table. He read the familiar first page and flipped to the next. The last time he checked there was nothing else written inside, now there were several more pages.

 

**You’re the reason why mom is sad**

**Why are you here**

**You shouldn’t have been born**

**You should leave**

**Mom would be happier if you weren’t born**

**You aren’t my brother**

**I hate you**

 

Namjoon didn’t understand the words he read. His brother’s sloppy handwriting inked each page and he felt sick. Each word was etched into his head and he couldn’t escape it. Namjoon placed the notebook under his pillow yet again and cried himself to sleep that night.

He woke up the next morning and was convinced it was a prank (that had gone too far) and he would confront Taehyung about it. His mother had already left for work and his father was reading the paper over coffee. He made his way to Taehyung’s room and saw his little brother drawing something with crayons.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” Taehyung didn’t look him in the eye.

Namjoon placed the notebook on the desk his brother was sitting at. “This prank isn’t funny, Tae.”

He knocked the notebook off the desk then continued to color. “It’s not a prank.”

“Huh?”

“It’s. Not. A. Prank.” He said irritated.

“I don’t -” He paused. “I don’t understand.”

“Dad told me what you are.”

“What am I?” He huffed.

“A monster.”

“W-what?” He stuttered. “What are you even saying?”

“You’re the smart one, figure it out.” He shrugged and went back to his coloring.

Namjoon left the room in shock. He lingered in the living room and searched his father’s face for any ounce of cruelty. He didn’t understand why he’d tell Taehyung that he’s a monster. Was this some kind of elaborate prank? Namjoon desperately wanted it to end, hating how lonely it was making him feel. He ran up to his father and pulled the newspaper down.

“Dad, can the prank stop now?”

He looked at the boy perplexed. “What prank?”

“The one about me being a monster.”

His father’s face noticeably went pale. “Where did you hear that?”

“Tae.”

“He shouldn’t have said that to you.”

“So the prank is over?” He smiled.

“It’s not a prank.”

“I’m.. really confused.”

His father sighed. “I’m going to tell you something and you need to promise me you won’t tell your mother.”

Namjoon nodded eager to hear. “I promise.”

“Let’s go into my study.”

They went up the stairs and on the right of the landing was the door to his father’s study. It was one of his favorite rooms in the house. One wall was dedicated to bookshelves and it was packed with any book you could think of. He learned so much in that room and he was always excited to learn more every time he entered.

“Go ahead and sit down.” His father sat behind a hulking mahogany desk.

Namjoon sat in his favorite leather tufted armchair. “What are we going to talk about?”

“You’re father.” He paused. “Your real father.”

Namjoon sunk into the seat nervous. “What about him?”

“Let me start with the beginning.” His father seemed to sit in his thoughts for a moment before he began to speak. “Eleven years ago your mother worked on a high profile case. She was the lawyer for a former gang member.” He scratched his head. “He was under heavy protection because the gang leader was notorious for killing off any threats to his empire.”

“That’s.. scary.”

“It was, even your mother and I had body guards because it was in the public that she was the past gang member’s lawyer. It was dangerous and I never wanted your mother to take the job. But you know you’re mom, she doesn’t let anyone tell her what to do.”

“Yeah, Mom is like Superwomen.”

“Yeah.” He frowned. “But sometimes even Superwomen gets hurt.”

“Mom got hurt?” Namjoon panicked.

“She was at the office one night.. she was by herself.” His father held his head like it ached. “The body guard was out near the car instead of inside the building with her. That’s when she was attacked.”

“Attacked?” His voice was small.

“We later found out the gang leader sent someone out to scare her out of the case. It went farther than that. I don’t want to go into the explicit details but..” His father was visibly tense. “She was raped.”

Namjoon felt the world around him crumble and the clear image of his father behind his desk began to blur as tears filled his eyes. He had read in newspapers and seen in horror films and read in books about the evil beings that rape people. He tried to comprehend what this meant about him.

His father reluctantly continued. “The man beat her as well and she was in the hospital for weeks. Namjoon. Do you understand why I’m telling you this?”

The boy hiccuped in between his sobs and tried to speak but nothing came out.

“She found out later she was pregnant. That monster who hurt her is your father.”

“NO.” He screamed. “No! You’re my father! I’m not a monster!” He stood from the chair. “I’M NOT!” He screamed again.

“Calm down, Namjoon.” He tried to say kindly but there was anger laced in his voice.

“Would it have been better if I was never born?” He whimpered.

It was silent in the room. Namjoon looked at his father desperate for an answer but the silence continued. They sat in the quiet room for what felt like eternity but finally his father looked him in the eyes.

“Yes.”

The boy held the gaze with his father and saw no hesitation in his answer. “Ok.” He slowly walked toward the door and his father did nothing to stop him from leaving.

He opened the door and saw Taehyung just around the corner. His younger brother looked at him with fear and slowly inched away and ran into his room, slamming the door shut. Namjoon wanted his mother but he knew he didn’t deserve to see her. He made his way down the stairs and stared at the front door. Without much thought he pulled on his favorite sneakers and left.

Namjoon knew the street names and addresses in his area well but he wished he didn’t, he wanted to be lost. He roamed the streets until it finally became unfamiliar and the traffic wasn’t as heavy. He stared at the empty street and got a terrible idea. Namjoon calmly walked into the middle of the road and made a deal with fate. If he didn’t deserve to live, a car would come and it’d be over, if not he’d find his way home.

The boy stood in the road and closed his eyes. It was strangely comfortable and he momentary forgot his troubles. He was surprised when he heard a car honk in the distance but squeezed his eyes as tight as he could. The car horn sounded closer and he started to feel scared. Namjoon opened his eyes as the car horn started going crazy, the car swerving past him so fast he felt the wind blast past him. The boy felt relief but was startled when he heard more honking behind him. He turned around and saw the car screeching to a halt but the driver didn’t push the brakes fast enough.

Namjoon woke up in the hospital with his mother crying over him. He had a cracked ribcage, and both his right elbow and leg were broken. He was numbed by the pain medication but his heart felt so much pain watching his mother cry. His father and Taehyung sat in the back of the room and they gave him looks of disappointment. The boy held his mother’s hand and cried but it wasn’t for himself, he cried for her.

The recovery process was long and hard but his mother doted on him and he loved the attention. He told her every time he saw her that he loved her, so often that his mother started tallying it up. His record for highest number of " _I love you"_ s in a day was twenty two times. It became a ritual for them and his mother filled book upon book with each tally. Namjoon treasured these moments before he became a teenager, when he and his mother were at their closest.

Namjoon had been going to therapy since he was eleven, after the accident. He never told his therapist the full story or the real reason behind why he stood in traffic that day. Going to sessions obviously wasn’t of much help to the boy but he continued to go for his mother’s peace of mind. But when he turned fifteen he asked his mother if he could finally stop going and she agreed.

He felt a bit more like a regular kid after he stopped going to the appointments. He used to turn people down to hang out because he had to see his therapist after school, but he soon became sociable. School wasn’t just school anyone. He found a group of friends and he felt like he belonged somewhere. But it all came crashing down when he got called to the principal’s office one day.

His mother was waiting for him in the office and to his surprise she told him she was taking him out of school because of a family emergency. He asked her what happened but her lips were sealed. He panicked as he saw their car packed with suitcases in the back.

“Mom? What’s going on?”

She started up the engine. “Buckle up sweetie.”

“Mom?”

“We’re leaving.”

“But where is Dad and Tae?” He looked at the backseat and only saw two suitcases. “Is they’re stuff in the back?”

“No. They aren’t coming.” She drove off and almost looked possessed. “They aren’t coming.”

“Why are we leaving?” Namjoon was scared, never seeing his mother act so oddly before.

“We shouldn’t stay here.” Her eyes bulged. “It’ll never be safe here.”

The boy looked at his mother and swore she wasn’t the same person. All he saw was panic and paranoia. “Mom. You’re scaring me. I want to go home.”

“It’s not safe there. We need to leave. He might hurt you.”

“He?”

His mother didn’t answer him. They had driven out of the city, his mother still silent but her uneven breathing was a constant. It had been thirty minutes since she picked Namjoon up and he was desperate to find a way to stop his mother from driving them out too far.

“Um, Mom? I need to go to the bathroom.” He hoped his idea worked.

“Can’t you wait?”

“I’ve already waited too long.”

His mother sighed. “Alright. There should be a gas station coming up soon.” A couple minutes later a gas station was in the distance and she pulled up and parked near the entrance.

He unbuckled. “I’ll be right back.” He ran inside and luckily had his cellphone on him. His relationship with his father had become nonexistent the past four years but he called the man, knowing he would know what to do. Namjoon dialed the number and prayed he’d pick up.

“Why are you calling?” His father’s voice was unamused.

“Something is up with Mom. She picked me up from school and said we’re leaving. Our suitcases are in the car and she said we’re not safe.”

“Did she talk about a man?”

“She said something like ‘he will hurt you’ to me?”

“Ok. Do you know where you are?”

“No. We’ve never driven this way before. But I’m inside a gas station so I’ll ask the cashier.”

He didn’t end the call but held his phone as he checked outside the door to see if his mother had come inside. Luckily there was no sign of her and he dashed to the front of the store. There was someone in line paying for a ton of junk food. He grew anxious feeling like he was gone too long and his mother might soon become suspicious. The person with all the food left with their bags and Namjoon leaped forward.

“Sir, could you tell me where we are?”

“You’re in Suwon.”

Namjoon glanced above the cashier and saw the logo of the store and memorized the name. “Thanks.”

From the corner of his eye he saw his mother opening the door to the entrance. He ran back to the bathroom and locked the door. He leaned against the door as sweat dripped down his temple. He quickly told his father their whereabouts and hung up. Not much time passed before he heard a knock on the door.

“Sweetie? Are you in there?”

“Yeah.” He faked his best sick voice. “I don’t feel so good.”

“Oh my goodness are you throwing up?”

“Yes.” He lied. “I need to stay in here for a bit.”

“Alright. I’ll be right here.”

Namjoon stood in the bathroom and asked the universe to leave him alone, to leave his mother alone. They had gone through enough and even though he didn’t understand why his mother was trying to run away with him, he wanted her to feel safe. Didn’t she deserve that? Doesn’t everybody?

He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard loud sirens in the distance. He heard his mother yelling outside the bathroom door and panicked. After unlocking the door he saw a couple of policemen pulling her out the gas station.

“What are you doing to her?” He chased after them but was held back by another officer.

“Are you her son?” The officer asked.

“Yes. Why is she being taken away?”

“Your father is waiting for you outside. It’d be best if you ask him.”

The man guided him out and he saw his father standing beside the car his mother drove them in. The officer excused himself and Namjoon marched up to his father and demanded an explanation.

“Why are they taking mom away? You actually called the police?”

“She’s being taken to the hospital and she’ll be inpatient for awhile.” He sighed. “This happened when you were seven. Do you remember having a road trip with Mom as a kid?”

“I think so..” He had a faint memory of eating cookies in the back seat while his mother had the radio blasting.

“She thought she saw her attacker while she was out one day. She got extremely paranoid and took off with you. I was lucky she came back to her senses back then but this time seems worse.”

“Worse?”

“The fact that she wouldn’t listen to _you_? She needs help.”

“How long will she have to stay?”

“I honestly don’t know.” He turned and opened the car door. “We better head back.”

His mother ended up staying inpatient for a month and a half. He visited her as often as he was allowed to and she started to look and act like his beloved mother again. The entire family was there the day she was discharged and they went home and his mother made dinner like she used to. Even with the previous tension in the boy’s relationships with his brother and father, it felt like home again. But it didn’t last.

Namjoon soon saw his mother decline again. It was only six months later and their relationship changed completely one morning. He greeted his mother in the morning and like usual told her that he loved her. She froze as she stared at her son and her eyes were full of fear. The coffee mug in her hand shook as her body trembled.

“Those eyes.” She said thinly. “You have his eyes.” Tears started to fall down her cheeks.

“Mom?” He stepped towards his mother.

“Stay away!” She threw her coffee at him and the hot liquid landed on his chest.

Namjoon screamed out in pain and ripped off his school uniform’s shirt to relieve the burning sensation. The boy looked at his mother in utter confusion and her expression was emotionless. She quietly set her empty mug on the counter and walked away as if nothing happened.

She went inpatient again. This time it was for months. Namjoon didn't want to bring her to the hospital again, obviously the treatment there didn't work. He tried to reason with his father and say they should try another place. His father caved and they sent her to the best clinic in the city. The building was beautiful and didn’t feel as cold as the hospital. The only downside was he wasn’t allowed to visit as often. He was told it was in the best interest of his mother’s recovery but he knew it was because as he grew he began to look more and more like that monster.

He visited his mother on his sixteenth birthday. He asked the clinic and was allowed to bring a small cake with him. The boy’s mother had gotten exceptionally better in the last month and they happily celebrated his birthday. He stopped calling that man, Dad. Taehyung wasn’t nearly as cold as he was in the past but he was still ignored by his younger brother. He had truly accepted the fact that it was just him and his mother now. He cut the cake with a plastic knife and his mother laughed as he got frosting all over the table. He got his clumsiness from her he told her, she laughed and apologized.

“No.” He held her hand. “I love every trait I got from you.”

They smiled with tears in their eyes and finished his birthday cake, just the two of them.

A month later she committed suicide. They were told she asked if one of the staff could open a window for her, the whether had been so nice. The windows were kept locked but since she was discharging the following week the staff thought she was in the right state of mind. Her room was on the sixth floor so she had died on impact.

Namjoon became numb. He started doing things to feel something, _anything_. He started smoking and drinking. Taehyung’s father hated him. The boy knew that he was blamed for his mother's death and he didn’t necessarily disagree. So much money was spent on the clinic and the funeral that they didn’t have the funds to stay in their home anymore. They sold the house and moved into an apartment complex that was almost half the size of their previous spacious home. Namjoon and Taehyung went to the same school again, there being no money to spare for any prestigious schools now. Everything was flipped upside down and it was suffocating.

His grades started to slip, it was too hard to concentrate anymore. After months of struggling he soon stopped going to school altogether. A year passed like this and Namjoon wondered if life would ever treat him right. It didn’t. After coming back home after ditching school yet again he found Taehyung’s father waiting for him in the living room. The man stood there with a fire burning in his eyes.

“I heard you’ve been skipping school.”

“Yeah?” He said nonchalantly.

“You’re a waste of my time. Get the fuck out.”

“What?”

“I said get the fuck out. You don’t live here anymore.”

“You can’t just kick me out!”

“You want to waste your life away be my guest. But not here. You’re not my son anyway.” He pointed to the boy’s room. “Pack a bag and be on your way.”

He stared at the man he once called father and wondered why tears fell down his face even when he thought he hated the man. Taehyung’s father looked at the crying boy with an irritated look then turned on his heel and left the room. As if on autopilot Namjoon walked to his room and began to pack. He stuffed his duffle bag with clothes and necessities. In the back of his closet he saw the stack of notebooks his mother used to tally up his " _I love you_ "s. He placed them inside the bag and zipped it closed.

Namjoon closed his bedroom door behind him and bid it farewell. He was shocked to see Taehyung standing near the front door. He looked at his younger brother and wished they could go back to the days when they were kids and they didn’t know of all the darkness of the world yet.

“Where will you go?” Taehyung’s voice wavered.

“I don’t know.” He answered honestly.

“Did you want me to try to talk to him? Maybe I can change his mind.”

Namjoon looked at Taehyung and tears started falling. All these years he thought his little brother hated him but he felt the concern Taehyung had for him and it gave him a glimmer of hope. “It’s alright, Tae.”

He pulled his brother into a hug. At first Taehyung was stiff but he soon hugged the older boy back. It was a bitter sweet moment for Namjoon but he left the apartment holding onto hope for something better.

He was on the streets for two weeks before he met the rap crew. Namjoon spent the little bit of money he had on him for food and found vacant places to sleep in at night. One night as he aimlessly walked the streets he became enchanted as he watched a group of boys busking. They rapped over a jazzy beat and Namjoon couldn’t stay away. For the next couple days he watched their performances and on the third night one of the boys introduced himself.

I’ve noticed you’re kinda a regular now.“

“Uh, yeah.”

“I’m Jooheon.”

“Namjoon.”

“You rap?”

“I’ve never seriously tried. I just like the music.”

Jooheon introduced him to the rest of the crew and they took to him quickly. When they found out he was homeless one guy offered his couch to Namjoon, he gratefully took the guy up on his offer. A month of couch hopping later he officially became part of the crew. He was told he had natural talent as a rapper and he soon started doing performances with them and started earning money.

A few months later Jooheon left, getting scouted at a rap battle he won the previous week. Some of the guys were sour but most of everyone was happy for him. A new person was added to the crew to fill his space and that was the first time he saw Yoongi. Namjoon felt some kind of weird pull towards him and they soon became friends.

Yoongi taught him about liking boys. He always kind of knew he was curious about boys but he never acted on it. Yoongi was a source of life and knowledge to Namjoon and it felt electric. He wasn’t sure if what he felt for the older boy was love or lust but he was more than happy when Yoongi kissed him for the first time. Not so happy after he was told he sucked at kissing but it was a start.

They worked on music together and Namjoon felt like he finally had a purpose. Between make out sessions and all nighters working on tracks, Namjoon found himself in a happy place. The crew was getting some buzz on the street and people stared to recognized him. It was Yoongi who pushed him to create a stage name. The older boy said it was important to separate the performer version of yourself from the everyday regular you. He decided on _Rap Monster_ as a way to separate not only the performer in him but the demon in him.

He was more vulgar and demanding on stage. He felt like he was on a different planet each time he performed and it became a way to feel alive. The more known their crew was the more trouble came their way. It wasn’t just about the music and Namjoon learned how to defend himself. Fights after shows were the new normal and he wasn’t only known for his rap anymore. He lost count of how many noses he had broken but it became another high for him.

Months later it somehow got out that he and Yoongi were kind of a thing. Namjoon found himself and Yoongi getting threats from crews all over the city, even some from their own. Yoongi had just won a rap battle and the crew that lost couldn’t accept it. They were followed and a huge fight broke loose. It was the two of them against four other guys, not a fair match but Namjoon was handling it. He punched one guy and he hit the ground. Yoongi yelled at him to watch out behind him but he didn’t duck quickly enough. He was out cold after the metal bat hit him in the skull, but apparently the guy never let up and kicked him repeatedly until Yoongi tackled him.

Someone had called the police and he was brought to the hospital. When he woke up he was greeted by Yoongi who was swollen by all the punches he received. The doctor told him that his father would take him home in a few days and he refused at first. It was Yoongi who convinced him to stay somewhere safe. He only agreed to it after Yoongi said he’d leave the rap crew too, saying he knew someone who lived at an LGBT shelter and he'd try it out there.

Going back home was like stepping foot into the past. Everything was exactly the same as he left it, his room not touched at all. He later found out Taehyung’s father was planning on throwing out all his stuff but his brother said he wanted to go through it to see if he wanted any of Namjoon’s things. Taehyung never wanted to go through his room but stalled the process of it getting cleaned out. He stood in his unchanged room and let it sink in that he had almost died because of a street fight. Things had to change.

Namjoon’s relationship was distant but pleasant with Taehyung. They forgot how to be brothers again but in small moments they showed each other they cared. Taehyung’s father tried throwing him out again after a month, pushing him out the door when he was only in a shirt and boxers. But Taehyung made it clear to his father that he wanted Namjoon around and that was finally the end of it.

Things got worse for Yoongi before it got better. Namjoon was in a frenzy when he found out his friend’s shoulder got crushed during his delivery job. He had never seen his friend in such a low place, it broke his heart. But he worked that much harder to graduate high school and work his way into the music industry, taking Yoongi along with him.

Namjoon changed all his bad habits. He stopped smoking and drinking and took school seriously again. He graduated with high marks and planned to attend college. Yoongi had healed a lot since the accident, physical therapy helping him most. Namjoon could see a future ahead of him and he was running towards it at full speed. He learned how to drive in the meantime, so they could still perform and keep their equipment somewhere else other than his small room. They booked shows and Yoongi performed in his cast and still kicked ass on stage. It boosted their confidence and made them strive for more.

He dated a lot in school, girls _and_ boys but the relationships never lasted. The words from his last girlfriend stuck with him for years to come. They were in his dorm room watching a movie on his laptop when his girlfriend abruptly closed it.

“You hate it that much?” He joked.

“Why are you so closed off?” She shifted to look at him.

“During the movie? Did you want me to talk more while watching it?”

“Don’t play dumb. We’ve hit some invisible wall after we talked about our childhood together the other day. You didn’t share much which is fine but then I realized I actually don’t know much of anything about your past when you know all of mine. I don’t think that’s fair.”

“The present is what’s important.”

“So is the past, it’s what made you the way you are today. If we’re in a relationship shouldn’t we share that with each other?”

Namjoon had been through this same scenario with every person he’s dated since he started college. It was his third year and she was his sixth lover. He dreaded this conversation, every time it ended in a break up and he braced himself before he spoke.

“I don’t talk about my past. I’m sorry.”

She stared at him blankly. “Not even with me?”

“I’m sorry.”

She silently slid off the bed and zipped up her boots. She lingered at the door with her back facing him. “You’re going to always be alone if you can’t open up, Namjoon.”

She was right, and he stopped dating since. His life wasn’t empty without romantic love though, he and Yoongi finally rented out a studio and Namjoon worked two jobs so he could finally move out. They became friends with Seokjin and Hoseok and each day became more lively and fun because of them. Somewhere in his heart he knew he longed for love but it wasn’t worth the disappointment he knew would follow.

A week before he moved out he saw a moving truck in front of his apartment building. He smiled as he walked past the vehicle and rode up on the elevator to see if he left his extra set of car keys in his room. Once he reached his floor he was greeted by a person holding a stack of boxes.

“Oh my god I’m saved.” The person breathed out relieved.

Namjoon couldn’t help but laugh at the image before him. He stared at the faceless person and saw their biceps bulging under the weight of the boxes. He looked away from the attractive arms and asked if they needed help.

“N-no thank you! I don’t want to take up your time.”

He laughed at the boy’s shrill voice. “It’s seriously not a problem. Can I grab the box on top?”

“Uhh sure.”

Namjoon took the box and was not expecting the weight of it. He felt his arms twitch as he tried to better situate the box but held a smile trying to convince himself it was nothing. He finally looked up to see the person hidden behind the box and immediately recognized the boy as he stepped inside the elevator.

“Oh! I know you! You’re friends with Tae, right?“

“Ah yes.”

Namjoon struggled a bit but successfully hit the button for ground floor and leaned against the wall for support. He glanced at the boy beside him and saw the nervous look on his face. He grew used to seeing such a face from him, every time they saw each other in the hallway he was met with panicked eyes. He wondered if he looked intimidating but even with a panicked expression the boy always smiled back and it helped that it was a very cute smile. He clearly remembered the day they first met, strangely cherishing it because it gave him a laugh when he really needed it. Without realizing it he had already had a soft spot for the boy and was disappointed seeing him moving out, at least that’s what it looked like.

“So, are you moving out?”

“Yeah for college.”

“Ahh.. hmm. Kinda sad that we’re only talking now.“

“Yeah..” The boy trailed off.

“We never introduced ourselves either.”

“Oh uh um I’m Jungkook.“

“I’m Namjoon. Nice to meet you.”

He didn’t expect to see Jungkook again but as fate had it they ran into each other and the boy even worked at his favorite bookstore. Over the next few months he got to know Jungkook and they grew close quite quickly. It was something so unexpected but Namjoon thanked the universe for giving him yet another important friend. Jungkook made him feel comfortable and confident, he scolded him when he needed it and now he couldn’t see his life without the boy.

Namjoon wondered if other people look back at their lives sometimes and feel like it was all just a wild dream. More and more his past didn’t feel like it weighed him down or defined him. He could be a person without all the pain drowning out all the happiness he could have in life. It finally felt like he had a blank slate and he was rewriting himself, letter by letter. He told his friend about the monster that was his past and he looked at the boy sitting beside him who cried for him. Jungkook held his hand tight and Namjoon felt safe.

“Thank you.“

“For what?” Jungkook wiped his tears.

“For being here.”

He once again thanked the universe for giving him Jungkook.


	17. Yes And No?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back hugs and last minute sketches

Jungkook squeezed Namjoon’s hand as he wiped away stray tears. The older boy looked at him sweetly and it made him want to start crying again but he tried to hold himself together. Namjoon told him _everything_. He didn’t spare any details and they sat together for so long they both lost track of the time. He didn’t know what to say to Namjoon, or if he should say anything at all. The older boy was quiet now but it didn’t seem out of sadness. He squeezed the older boy’s hand as a way to get his attention and they locked eyes.

“Are you ok?” He asked softly.

“I will be.” He smiled deeply at Jungkook but was surprised with a text message. “Uh sorry.” He pulled out his phone and read the text and laughed.

“Something happen?”

“Yeah, Yoongi told me to take the month off. Strict orders.”

“Have you never _not_ be busy?”

“I guess this month will change that.”

“I’m not working this month either. My parents are being too cautious but at least I have more time for school.”

“Are you staying here for awhile?”

“I haven’t decided myself but I know my parents are going to want me to. It’s much closer to the college too.” He shrugged. “Goodbye independence, it was nice knowing ya.”

“What about my place?”

“What about it?”

“I’m a few blocks away from here so it’s even closer to the college. A solid argument from your side to your parents, if you want some independence that is.”

“Are… you saying I could stay with you?”

“Why not?”

Jungkook gulped. He could think of a few reasons why. “I don’t know if my parents could be convinced.”

“It’s up to you if you want to bring it up to them.” He smiled.

Jungkook noticed Namjoon had looked down at their hands that were still Interlocked and he pulled away and apologized for holding it too long. Namjoon grabbed it back.

“No. I like it. It’s kind of calming. I understand why Yoongi Hyung is a hand holding guy.” He laughed as he curled his fingers around Jungkook’s and the boy felt his face get hot.

“Speaking of Yoongi, did you ever figure out if it was love or ya know, lust?” He averted his eyes.

“It was both I think. If I had to categorize it, he was my first love.” He rubbed his thumb over Jungkook’s as he talked. “He knows it too and now he’s gotten cocky about it.” He chuckled.

“Seokjin thought you two never _actually_ dated.”

“That’s what we told everyone, mostly because it's true. Our relationship was an odd one and too complicated to explain to people. I don't think what we did was dating, more like surviving. But Yoongi tells everyone he kissed me once and told me I sucked at it. Asshole.” He faked an angry tone.

“I almost can’t picture it, you being bad it.” He blushed.

“Really? Is it because of my big lips? Because I don’t know how to use them.”

Jungkook choked on his saliva. Namjoon’s choice of words could have been better but he tried to recover from the initial image he had in his head. The older boy asked if he was alright and he nodded.

They were both startled when they heard the front door unlock. Jungkook was disappointed when Namjoon pulled his hand away.

“Is it safe to come in?” Jungkook’s brother shouted.

“Really, Hyung?” He said annoyed.

His brother peaked his head from behind the corner near the entrance. “Just wanted to make sure.” He teased.

Jungkook rolled his eyes. His brother took his shoes off and walked over to the boys seated on the couch. He looked at the table and gasped.

“You didn’t even touch the chicken!”

Namjoon looked at the table and laughed. “We got so caught up in talking that we forgot about the food.”

“I commend you for getting Jungkook to think about something other than food…..or video games.”

“It’s not that hard.” He smiled playfully and Jungkook pouted. Namjoon looked down at his watch. “I should leave. You get more rest today before even thinking about going back to classes, alright?”

“Alright.“Jungkook said like a disciplined child.

“It was nice meeting you Namjoon.” His brother waved as Jungkook saw Namjoon to the door.

The older boy pulled on his shoes. “See ya.”

Jungkook stared at the swollen bruise around Namjoon’s eye and felt the urge to hug him, so he did. Just as he was about to open the door Jungkook grabbed his waist and hugged his back. Namjoon stilled but a moment later he felt the older boy place a hand over his arms wrapped around him.

“You ok Jungkookie?” He asked concerned.

“I’m fine. I just felt like hugging you.” He nuzzled his face against the back of Namjoon’s neck and he felt the older boy’s body twitch. Jungkook soon released him and he swore he saw Namjoon’s face flushed.

“Text me after you’re well rested.”

He didn’t turn to look at Jungkook but covered half his face with his hand, making his voice a bit muddled. He left before Jungkook had time to reply. Jungkook didn’t want to read too much into anything but he knew when he saw gay panic, and _that_ was it. He tried to ignore his suspicions and reminded himself that Namjoon called them _good friends_ , ruining his good mood.

“How did things go?” His brother shouted.

Jungkook followed the voice and found his brother eating chicken at the dinner table. “We had a good talk but I’m still unsure about us.” He shrugged sadly.

“You should just kiss him and see what happens. It’s quick and easy.”

“Are you a commercial trying to sell me a product?”

“Or!” His brother ignored the jab and pointed to him with a drumstick bone. “For a more cute approach, _ask_ to kiss him. ”

“Why are you suddenly my love coach?”

“I’m giving you great advice, take it or leave it.” He took a large bite of a crunchy chicken wing. “How about you sit down and eat with me in the meantime?”

Jungkook didn’t want to give in but ultimately did because he was too hungry to be petty. “Ok.”

They sat without conversation as he chowded down on the rest of the chicken, definitely more than one serving each. After they finished, the boxes were filled with greasy bones and Jungkook tried to escape before he was told to help clean up. He was caught before he even rose up from his seat.

“Throw the boxes away before you try to get away from me.” His brother winked at him as he washed the cups they used for drinks.

He complained under his breath as he threw everything out and glanced at his brother who was obviously having a good time. “I should be resting.”

“Suddenly my muscled little brother is as weak as a baby?“

“Hyung.” He sighed.

“Wow you’re extra tense today.”

“Thanks for pointing it out.”

His brother dried off his hands. “Do you want to talk?”

Jungkook felt desperate. “Why not, you’re my love coach now after all.”

His brother leaned against the kitchen’s doorway. “Spill the tea. That’s the phrase right?”

“You’re so embarrassing.” He held his face in his palms.

“It’s my charm.” He said proudly. “Go ahead.”

Jungkook sighed. “So, Namjoon Hyung offered me to stay at his place. It’s closer to the college too. Firstly I don’t think Mom would let me and secondly it’s a bad idea for my heart.”

“You really like him, huh.”

“Since I was fifteen, Hyung.”

“Shit.” He crossed his arms as he thought. “I do agree with Mom not wanting you to. She wouldn’t say it out loud but it’d probably be because you got hurt when you were with him last.”

“It wasn’t his fault.” Jungkook frowned.

“I think it’s more of a protective instinct, ya know? But she would like that it’s closer to college. She has been the most concerned about your commute there after you go back. That’s why she was so adamant about covering your rent and hopefully having you stay here.”

“He only offered because I was complaining about my independence kinda going away by living here again.”

“I’m independent and I live here.” He raised an eyebrow.

“That’s because you’re the oldest and also not in a cast. Mom and Dad are going to be very involved in everything I do, thinking I’m their fragile baby.”

“That’s true. But even if Mom agreed could you handle living with him?”

“It’s comfortable at his place but I know I’d be in a panic at some point in time. I’ve only been there once so it’s hard to really know.”

“What’s your gut telling you?”

“All I know is I want to be with him as much as possible.”

“That’s your answer then.” His brother patted him on the back. “Mom should be home soon, so just talk to her.”

Jungkook watched his brother leave the kitchen and he stood lost in thought. He cleaned up the rest of the kitchen, nothing overzealous but he needed something to do as he planned what to say to his mother. An hour later his mother came home and he was berated with questions.

“Did you rest well? How about food, did you eat well today? How does your head feel? What about your arm?”

“Mom. I’m fine.”

She took off her coat. “Alright! I just wanted to make sure.”

He fidgeted as he watched his mother put away her coat and set her purse on the side table near the couch. “I wanted to talk about something with you?”

“Is something wrong?” Her voice was shrill.

“No, nothing is wrong. Don’t worry. But it’s about my friend.” He paused and glanced at his mother. “My friend lives a bit closer to the college and he said I could stay with him if I wanted.”

“Oh. Who is it?”

“You’ve never officially met him but his name is Namjoon.”

“Ah… the boy you were with when you got hurt.”

It stung to hear her say it that way. “I don’t want to seem ungrateful since you and Dad are paying my part of the rent this month.”

“It’s your choice, honey. I don’t want you thinking you have to stay here just because we’re paying for you. I was the most worried about you going back to that apartment right away because it is farther away from the college. But if a friend has a place even closer than ours, that’d give me some peace of mind.”

Jungkook was completely floored by his mother’s response. It was something he never expected at all. “Thank you Mom. I’m honestly surprised you’re not against it.”

“I’ll let you in on a little secret.” She giggled. “As I was going to tell all your friends to leave since you needed the rest, I saw that boy. He was at the vending machines getting drinks and he was struggling with holding all the bottles. He walked to the waiting room with them and dropped them off and rushed out. I felt bad that he got everyone drinks when I was coming to tell them they needed to go.“ She smiled. “He looked so determined with all those bottles. He seems really sweet.”

Jungkook knew he had a goofy smile plastered over his face but he couldn’t care less. His mother fell for Namjoon’s charm and he wondered if he got his taste in men from her, his dorky father being proof enough.

After his father got home his mother began making dinner. They all sat together and it felt nice to eat a meal as a family again. He finished first and decided to contact Jimin before he told Namjoon that he got a yes from his mother. He dialed Jimin and his friend picked up after the first ring.

“Jungkookie!”

“Jimin Hyung!” They both laughed.

“How you feeling?”

“Pretty good considering everything.”

“That’s good. You up for hanging out tomorrow?”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Are you coming back to the apartment or should I go there?”

“Well, that’s something I wanted to tell you. My parents probably already told you that they are paying my part of the rent, right?”

“Yeah, they wired the money over to me this morning.”

“Umm. Namjoon Hyung offered for me to stay at his place. My Mom was actually cool with it and I was going to text him about it after talking to you..”

“Are you kidding me..” His friend sounded suspicious.

“I’m completely serious. And I’m kinda freaking out about it? He’s not working this month either so we both are going to have lots of free time uhh? Was this actually a bad idea?”

“Jungkookie. You’re going to be on edge the whole time at Namjoon’s. Considering your head I’m not sure it’s a good idea.” His friend’s voice was sweet but stern.

“I know I’m jumping the gun but we talked today and I just..” He trailed off.

“Did something happen…”

“Yes and no? A part of me doesn’t feel so afraid of my feelings for him anymore? Does that make sense? I mean, I gave him a back hug out of nowhere today just because I wanted to.“

“What happened to the timid Jungkookie I used to know?” His friend sounded surprised.

“I don’t know but he got flustered and I’m kinda liking this new side of myself.”

Jungkook knew his newfound confidence came from Namjoon feeling comfortable enough with him to share his past. The way they talked and held hands felt like home and he craved more. He felt like he might be ready to tell Namjoon about his feelings, but knew it’d have to wait until after he’s out of the older boy’s apartment.

“Kim Namjoon is not ready for whatever this new Jungkookie might bring.” Jimin laughed.

“I’m not ready either to be honest.”

Jungkook made plans to meet Jimin at lunch tomorrow and he’d try attending just one of his classes before he tackled a full day the next day. He stared at his phone before pulling up Namjoon’s number. He knew moving in temporarily with his first love was a bad idea, but it was probably a once in a lifetime opportunity. So just like all of Jungkook's important decisions were made lately he thought, _fuck it_.

 

**Me**

sent 8:42pm

_I can stay at ur place ^_^_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 8:43pm

_Great! Now I have an excuse to buy a pullout sofa. U sleep in the bed of course no fighting me on it._

 

**Me**

sent 8:45pm

_Saying goodbye to your faithful lumpy couch?_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 8:46pm

_It’s been long overdue. When did you want to bring your stuff over? I’m completely free now so anytime is cool._

 

**Me**

sent 8:48pm

_Tomorrow???_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 8:49pm

_Tomorrow it is :)_

 

Namjoon said he’d pick him up after his class and they’d go to Jungkook’s apartment to gather his stuff and head back to the older boy’s apartment afterwards. It felt surreal but he was already planning what useless things he’d pack (lots of games) and maybe a few of his cuter outfits would come along to Namjoon’s apartment too. It almost felt like Jungkook was packing for a fun vacation when in reality he’ll be a nervous wreck once he has to take a shower in Namjoon’s apartment.

Jungkook layed in his old bed in his old room and looked at the navy blue walls. He thought about all the years he sat in this room and dreamed of another exciting life he could’ve had if Namjoon was in it. But that’s his life now, he was moving into the boy’s apartment after all. His fifteen year old self would not believe the life he had now. A part of him was waiting to wake up from this dream but why spoil it? Even if he woke up and it was all a crazy dream, why not enjoy the fantasy for the time being?

He decided to look through the few things he had left behind in the room. His bedframe and mattress were still there, too much of a hassle to move. His parents decided to turn his room into a guest bedroom. His personality left the room but he could see the few remains of it. The stickers near the bottom of the closet door wouldn’t budge, the room forever keeping three stickers of a cartoon character he used to love at the age of four.

The dark stain under the window on the hardwood floor stared at him. At age twelve he used oil paint for the first time and black paint leaked from his painting, his canvas being directly on the floor. He was scolded and had to get the stain out but not matter how much he scrubbed, it wouldn’t fade. And so it became part of the room.

Jungkook had forgotten one other thing he left behind but as he looked around his room and sat in his childhood memories, he remembered. He got up and lifted his mattress. He pushed his hand deep into the middle of the box spring where underneath and inside the tear of the fabric he hid something. He felt the familiar rough cover of the slender book and pulled it out from it's hiding space. Jungkook lowered the mattress and held the book in his hands, completely stunned by the old memory. It was his old sketchbook. He only drew special pictures inside since the paper was so precious.

The first few pages were of buildings he found interesting. A few more pages were of his favorite manga characters. But the rest of the book became dedicated to something else entirely and Jungkook blushed at the embarrassing pages. Not long after he saw Namjoon for the first time, he drew him. It was before he knew that he liked him but it was obvious from the drawings alone. The first drawings were simple head shots but soon they became more elaborate and detailed. It was the most embarrassing thing Jungkook had ever done, that and the list of facts. But he couldn’t get rid of the thing, it somehow felt wrong. So he hid it.

Holding it in his hands again he was unsure of what to do with it. Should he finally get rid of it? Or was placing it under the mattress the best thing to do? He flipped through the pages and there was a single page left. He remembered how reluctant he was to use the last page, so he didn’t. The empty white page made it feel unfinished. He looked at each drawing and realized it was from his old point of view. These were drawn when he didn’t actually know Namjoon. Jungkook thought it’d be fitting for the last picture to be drawn the way he saw the older boy now.

He searched through his backpack in hopes of a pen or pencil. He found a mechanical pencil with all the eraser used up at the bottom of the bag and deemed it good enough. He closed his eyes as he held the pencil and book in his hands and pictured Namjoon’s face. He thought of the soft and comforting look the older boy gave Jungkook as he held his hand on the couch earlier that day. It was a look he’d seen a few times and it was beautiful.

He did a rough sketch of his head but dove into the eyes first. They were soft and loving, in friendship of course but still full of love. Jungkook loved the shape of Namjoon’s eyes. They turned in crescent moons every time he smiled and Jungkook always thought of him when he saw the moon. It was such a gentle gaze that he instantly felt safe. Next was the nose. Was it weird how cute Jungkook found the older boy’s nose? The slope of his nose wasn’t as deep as Taehyung’s but he had a handsome side profile. He wanted to boop his nose too many times to count but more recently he wanted to kiss it.

He loved Namjoon’s dimples to a point of no return. The right side was usually the most visible and without realizing it he developed the habit of walking with Namjoon on his right side because of it. Next was Namjoon’s smile. It was so warm and sweet. But those plump lips would be the death of him if not for the dimples. He wanted to rub his thumb against the older boy’s lips just to feel how plush and soft they were, that being a recent wish as well. Namjoon’s hair had been growing out and Jungkook loved it every time the older boy brushed the hair out of his face as he talked. It was both sexy and cute and it stressed Jungkook out to no end.

Jungkook wasn’t sure how long he sat and sketched but when he finished he was proud of the outcome. It was the most raw and personal drawing of Namjoon in the entire book. You could actually see him and his personality. The other drawings were like he was looking through the lense of a camera instead of at the person themselves. Jungkook without a doubt and full of confidence could say, _that_ was Namjoon.

He admired his own work for awhile before his eyes stared to feel tired. He dated the sketch before closing the book. His eyes became more heavy and he stood to turn the lights off. He tightly held the book in his hands as he layed in bed on his back. He thought of the next day and smiled as he closed his eyes. Jungkook wasn’t sure how everything would pan out but unlike the Jungkook in the past, he was willing to gamble in hopes of finding happiness.


	18. This Is For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Real advice and expensive gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this really late so, sorry if there are mistakes here and there >_<

Jungkook woke up with the sketchbook still in his hands. He had slept in and missed seeing his parents off but his brother was onto a late start. He entered the kitchen and saw his brother in a frenzy as he spun around trying to find his wallet, all while he had an apple in his mouth. He waved to his older brother then pointed to the kitchen table where the wallet was in plain sight.

“Ank oo!” The translation being, _thank you_. His brother gave him a thumbs up as he grabbed the wallet and rushed out the apartment.

The apartment was quiet without the bickering and it felt a bit strange, completely opposite from the night before. He decided to take the precious time he had alone to detox before he had to leave to meet Jimin. He made himself coffee and eggs and sat down as he watched the news. It was only 10am so after he finished his morning routine (an extra long shower this time) he borrowed some of his brother’s clothes, not feeling his stinky unwashed lounge clothes.

His brother had similar taste to his but he decided on a simple T-shirt and jeans look, topped with a soft zip up jacket. He figured he needed something comfortable since he’d be packing and unpacking his things later. After he was dressed he looked at the time and it was still only 11am, his lunch with Jimin being at one. He stared at his phone and was thinking of dialing a friend when the doorbell rang.

Jungkook wasn’t expecting anyone so he looked through the peak hole. To his surprise he saw Yoongi waiting outside the door awkwardly. A longer look and he saw Taehyung behind the shorter boy and he looked nervous. Jungkook opened the door worried at the expression.

“Hey.” Yoongi said coolly.

“Hi. You can come in.” He gestured them inside and kept an eye on Taehyung.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your rest Kook.” Taehyung looked at Jungkook unsure of himself.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m meeting Jimin in a couple hours anyway.” He walked them to the couch and they all sat down.

“How are you doing?” Taehyung looked at Jungkook’s cast.

“Good. The cast is pretty annoying especially when my arm itches but I’m dealing.”

“How about the concussion?” Yoongi asked.

“I was expecting to be more dizzy or have recurring blurry vision but I’ve been ok so far.”

“That’s good but don’t get too forgetful about the fact that you got a concussion. You could end up feeling like crap suddenly a week from now. That happened to Joon after he thought he was better.“

“I’ll try not to go overboard too soon.”

Jungkook waited for Taehyung to say something but got an awkward silence instead. Yoongi looked between the close friends and rolled his eyes as he grabbed Taehyung’s hand and interlocked their fingers. Jungkook saw the action and was jealous, wishing to hold Namjoon’s hand.

“Tae is all nervous for no reason, sorry.”

“No, I _have_ a reason.”

“Is something wrong?” Jungkook asked confused.

“Hyung told me that you know everything now.” Taehyung’s voice was small.

“Us three are the only ones that know.“ Yoongi paused. “ _Really_ know.”

“Really?” Jungkook had thought Hoseok and Seokjin knew something but from Yoongi’s tone it seemed like it was kept pretty confidential.

“I’m surprised he told you.” Yoongi said honestly. “You’ve only know each other what, three months? You obviously have some kind of effect on him.”

“You sound like Seokjin Hyung saying that.” He smirked.

Yoongi held back a smile. “It’s true though. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone else.“ He shrugged. “He’s completely oblivious to it but he likes you.”

“He says we're good friends. But all his friends are telling me he likes me.” Jungkook sighed. “What am I supposed to do with all these mixed signals?”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing now. Eventually he’ll get it, whether that's me yelling at him or you actually telling him that you like him. You gotta take things slow with that kid.”

Jungkook nodded, grateful for some actual advice. He looked to Taehyung who still seemed nervous. “Tae. What’s up?”

Taehyung locked eyes with him and he looked like a deer in headlights. “I was…” He gulped. “I was scared of how you’d think of me since you know.”

“If anything Tae? I’d say you were young and impressionable when all that happened. Your father obviously painted Namjoon Hyung a certain way to you and that wasn’t your fault. And you made up for it now. I mean, hasn’t Namjoon Hyung forgiven you?”

Yoongi held Taehyung’s hand with both hands in his lap. “You told your father off when he tried kicking Joon out again, right? I’ve seen you change and better yourself these past few years, especially these past few months. We all fuck up, Tae. But you’ve learned from it and look how close you two are now.” He kissed Taehyung’s hand. “Joon is really happy having you in his life now.”

Jungkook agreed. “When he talked about the past he didn’t sound angry at you. He sounded more bitter and sad mentioning your father but nothing like that for you. So why would I be upset?” He remembered one of their fights and the feeling of disappointment but that was before he knew everything. He had no reason to judge when Namjoon was already moving on from it.

“You’re not mad?” Taehyung perked up.

“I’m gonna be mad if you keep asking that.” He narrowed his eyes and Taehyung let out a small laugh. “I’m more curious about you two. Are you guys officially dating?”

Yoongi, to Jungkook’s surprise looked bashful as Taehyung smiled at the older boy. “We haven’t told anyone yet, but yeah.”

“So I’m the first to know?”

Taehyung nodded as Yoongi stayed quiet but still held the younger boy’s hand. Jungkook looked at the couple and smiled. They were an unexpected couple at first glance but they seemed to balance each other out. Taehyung brought out a sweet and attentive side to Yoongi whereas the older boy brought Taehyung down from the excess worries and doubts he had. It was refreshing to see the two together because it looked so natural.

It made him wonder how people viewed him and Namjoon together and if they looked natural like Taehyung and Yoongi did. “So, has Namjoon Hyung told you about me temporarily staying at his apartment?”

Judging from the shock on their faces, he hadn't told them. “Boy, you work fast.” Yoongi laughed.

“Living with him?” Taehyung couldn’t contain his giggles. “You both are going to be a mess.”

“But why are you staying with him?” Yoongi asked curious.

“It’s closer to the college so I’m less likely to get hurt on the bus with my cast.”

“I forced him off of work for the month, ya know? You’re gonna have 24/7 Namjoon.”

“I know.” He held his face. “I’m not sure how I’m going to handle that.”

“Did my brother offer for you to stay?”

“Yeah, I would’ve never considered something like this if he didn’t bring it up.”

“Joon is so stupid sometimes.” Yoongi chuckled. “I can’t believe he did this to himself. He’s gonna be so confused about why he’s constantly flustered but the idiot will not understand it and be miserable with a cute boy with abs living in his apartment.” He gestured towards Jungkook. “And yeah I know about your abs, Joon told me _in detail_ that you were crafted from the Greek Gods. Who would go into detail about a _good friend’s_ abs like that?”

“Nobody.” Taehyung answered. “Unless they have a crush.” He wiggled his eyebrow.

Jungkook blushed and folded his arms. “If he doesn’t actually like me and all of you are giving me false hope please know I’ll be getting revenge.”

“Dually noted.” Yoongi grined then looked at the time. “I need to get going.” He stood up and Taehyung still gripped the older boy’s hand.

“Text me when you’re done.”

“I will.” Yoongi kissed the top of Taehyung’s head and left.

After Yoongi shut the door Jungkook made kissy faces at Taehyung and his friend threw a decorative pillow at him. They laughed and Taehyung finally looked relaxed.

“You two are sickingling sweet.”

“Shut up.” He blushed.

“But more importantly I hate the both of you for having such impeccable timing because I’m going to your brother’s apartment later today.”

“Well, now you can come up with a strategy.”

“I’m not the strategic type. I’m more of the _‘freak out and run away’_ type.”

“That’s not gonna fly now, Kook. Hyung is the same way and if you want some kind of progress you’re gonna have to be more assertive.”

“Me? Assertive? In what world?”

“Just try.” He whined.

Jungkook thought on it and realized he had shown some assertiveness the other day when he hugged Namjoon before he left. He never thought he had that in him but obviously Jungkook could act on his feelings if he really wanted to. The younger boy was finding out he wasn’t as timid as he thought and wondered if this is what being in love does to a person. Does love give you confidence? Or was this just Jungkook finally growing up?

“Ok. I’ll try.”

Taehyung clapped his hands and squealed at the development. “Assertive Jungkook here we come.”

They talked until Jungkook had to get ready to leave. His friend made him promise to take a taxi and even tried giving him money to pay for the ride. Jungkook shooed his friend away before Taehyung could try to offer money for other things and the apartment became quiet yet again.

Jungkook stood in his old bedroom and looked at the sketchbook he left on his mattress. He picked it up and dragged his fingers over the rough canvas cover. The book was handmade and so were the pages so a part of him never wanted to get rid of it just for the craftsmanship. But as he looked at the newest drawing he knew that the book would be a cherished possession and he’d regret leaving it behind. So he placed the sketchbook in his backpack and headed out to meet Jimin.

He called a taxi just as he promised and the ride was quicker than expected. He timed it as he would have if he was riding the bus, so he was early. Jimin wanted to meet off campus at a cafe they used to frequent. He sat in a chair and waited, wishing he thought it through before rushing out. He looked at his phone and frowned unsure what to do for the next twenty minutes. Would it look like he was stood up if he waited too long or should he go into the shop next door? Before a waitress could ask him a single thing he excused himself and walked to the gift shop he hadn’t recognized.

He and Jimin hadn’t been to the area in quite some time so it shouldn’t have surprised Jungkook to see a new store next to the cafe. The store was colorful and cute. It seemed like a destination for couples to get matching items, Jungkook seeing lots of matching shirts and keychains. He found some animal keychains and immediately thought of Namjoon as he saw a purple koala bear dangly on the shelf. Jungkook didn’t even try to talk himself out of it and bought the plastic toy. It was a bit too big for a phone charm but Jungkook without shame clipped it on his backpack. He felt too embarrassed to gift it to Namjoon so placing it on his bag as a reminder of the older boy felt like the next best thing.

Twenty minutes passed in no time inside the cute store and he made his way back to the cafe. By coincidence Jimin walked right past him near the entrance but did a double take and realized it was Jungkook.

“Jungkookie!” Jimin hugged him and he didn’t try to escape. He missed his friend, even if they were only apart a couple days. A public hug was deemed necessary in Jungkook’s eyes.

“I’ve missed your nosy ass.”

Jimin gasped but laughed. “Yeah I’m nosy but it’s because I care.”

“I know.” He smiled.

They sat down and ordered their food, luckily the waitress he saw before was serving someone else so he could save face. Jungkook ordered a large set and ate every last bit of it. Jimin still had half his meal left when he finished.

“I’ll never understand how you can eat so much. I’d probably feel sick.”

“I’ve always been like this so I don’t really know myself.” He shrugged.

“And here I was worried you were stress eating at the rate you were going.”

“Uh partially true?”

“I knew it.” Jimin smirked.

“I talked with Tae and Yoongi Hyung so I’m a bit more stressed.”

“Before you came here?”

“Yeah, they came to the apartment. We talked about Namjoon Hyung and that he’s stupid and likes me and Tae told me to be assertive and I’m actually gonna stay at his apartment.” Jungkook said in one breath then blankly stared at the table and tried to ignore the panic.

“So they told you he likes you?” Jimin’s face went sour. “I texted Seokjin the other day and he said the same thing. But Namjoon to your face says you’re good friends. That must be confusing.”

“It is.”

“You know you can tell everyone to stop budding in if all the extra opinions are stressing you out. I know they all mean well but it’s a lot of pressure.”

“Thanks but it already kind of happened.“ He sighed. “But the good thing is Yoongi Hyung gave me some advice and I don’t feel like I want to rush anything with Namjoon Hyung, whether he likes me or not.”

“That’s good. I just don’t want you passing out from stress.”

“I’ll be fine!”

Jungkook eventually had to leave to attend his one class and Jimin told him to contact him later. He felt a bit tired but overall was able to pay attention to the lecture. Once it was over he left campus, quickly wanting to get a headstart on packing but had completely forgotten about Namjoon picking him up when he saw the handsome older boy waiting near the entrance.

Namjoon was in a cream sweater and light wash jeans wearing red converse. His long brown bangs fell down and in his eyes making him look soft yet mysterious. Jungkook felt sloppy next to the clean looking outfit Namjoon wore and he couldn’t help but stare at his thighs in the tight jeans. There was a bit of a cold breeze and he felt bad that Namjoon was waiting for him.

“Hyung, why didn’t you wait in the car? It’s cold.”

“The fresh air is nice.” He smiled.

“Still.” He pouted.

“I’m so used to being cooped up in the studio all day that I miss being outside.”

“You should’ve brought a jacket  then, Mr. Nature Lover.”

Namjoon laughed. “I should put that on a shirt.”

“Only if I get 50% of the sales.” He smiled.

"Deal.” He looked at Jungkook with that soft expression again and the boy almost melted on to the concrete underneath him. “Let me get that.” Namjoon pulled his backpack off his shoulder and held it on one side and started to walk off before Jungkook could protest.

Namjoon opened the passenger door for him like a gentleman and put his backpack in the seat in the back. They drove off with the radio on low volume and Jungkook felt comfortable. He tried to conceal the stupid grin that tried to surface when Namjoon glanced at the younger boy to ask about the class he went to.

“Oh uh, it was good. I’m just tired.” He answered.

“Do you think you can handle doing a full day tomorrow?” Namjoon sounded like his worried mother.

“If I get a good night’s sleep I should be fine.” But he realized since it would be the first night staying at Namjoon’s that the probability of having a good night’s sleep was slim.

“Listen to your body if you feel weak though.”

“Yes, Mom.”

Namjoon slapped him on the leg. “Don’t call me that!”

“Then stop sounding like my Mom!” He laughed.

Namjoon pouted and Jungkook wanted to pinch his cheeks. “Fine. I’ll just stop caring all together.”

“Hyung, stop pouting.”

“No, this is who I am now. I’m a changed man.”

“Alright. I don’t actually mind, you’re cute when you pout.”

Namjoon visibly tensed up and coughed to clear his throat. “Uh, so how much stuff are you bringing?”

Jungkook frowned at the change of subject. “Mostly clothes and school stuff.”

“Don’t bring anything valuable that I could accidentally break.”

“Ok, I won’t bring my antique pottery collection.” He teased.

Namjoon rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Good call.”

Jungkook’s apartment was a fifteen minute drive away and he was looking forward to not having such a long bus ride in the mornings for the time being. Namjoon told him that it was just a five minute walk from the college and he couldn’t believe it.

“You’re so close to the college I can only imagine your rent shows that.”

“Yeah, and they almost didn’t even rent it out to me because I wasn’t a student. But I gave them two months rent advanced and they didn’t seem to care anymore.”

“Money hungry landlords, huh?”

“A little bit but I didn’t mind. I wanted to still be close enough to the studio. The first studio we ever looked at was too far away so I needed to make sure I stayed close otherwise renting it would be a hassle.”

“That makes sense. But it must be hard renting out two places.”

“It used to be but I’m a bit more comfortable financially now so I’m not as worried.”

“Ooo did the last job pay well?”

“Definitely. I was finally able to get rid of that couch because of it. And I got something a little extra.”

“You got yourself a present?”

“Not exactly.”

Jungkook was going to ask him to elaborate but they pulled into the parking lot in front of his apartment complex. Namjoon hopped out and once again opened the door for him. He grabbed his backpack himself, knowing it had enough room inside to pack a few more things. They rode up the elevator in comfortable silence, so comfortable he closed his eyes and forgot he was in an elevator until he heard the doors slid open.

He pulled the keys out of his pocket and once he heard the click he opened the door and let Namjoon inside first. All the lights were off and the kitchen and living room looked relatively clean, a big difference since the last time the older boy payed a visit. After taking off their shoes Jungkook made his way into his bedroom. Namjoon stood in the living room awkwardly, obviously not wanting to be in the way.

“Jimin said he left me a duffle bag on the table, could you please hand that to me?”

Namjoon smiled, looking eager to help. “Sure.”

Jungkook was handed the bag and he began stuffing it with lounge clothes. “Thank you.”

He quickly put underwear in the bag and peaked to see if Namjoon saw. Luckily the older boy was looking around the room instead. Jungkook tried to find some stylish shirts to pack but ended up packing a lot more comfortable clothes. There goes his plan to look cute while he stayed with Namjoon. He packed the essentials and next were his textbooks.

His books were scattered all over his room and he felt embarrassed by how sloppy he must’ve looked. But Namjoon didn’t seem to pay any mind to it. His backpack became heavy once all the books were inside and before he even lifted it, it was pulled out of his hand.

“I’ll get this. You get the one with all your clothes.”

Jungkook felt babied but somehow didn’t mind it when Namjoon did it. “Ok.”

The trip to his apartment was shorter than he imagined, leaving in under twenty minutes. As Jungkook locked the door he asked the universe for some luck to be on his side as he left the building with the older boy. The duffle bag and his heavy backpack were placed in the back seat of Namjoon’s car and they went on their way.

Jungkook became nervous once he recognized Namjoon’s apartment building in the distance. They parked and Namjoon grabbed both his bags, this time he opened the door himself. Seeing Namjoon be so stubborn about taking care of him made him feel spoiled to a certain extent and he wondered if the older boy would let up at some point. But seeing his determined look made him melt a little so he didn’t dwell on the thought.

The last time he was inside Namjoon’s apartment it felt sad and lonely. He saw the older boy cry and they held each other as they slept. It was strange coming back and knowing the reason behind all of it now. Namjoon didn’t really say it explicitly but obviously he hated his birthday because of how he was born. It made Jungkook feel even more sad for the crying boy he held that night. But Namjoon was completely different from then. He wasn’t drunk nor sad but instead seemed happy and excited.

Jungkook noticed the new couch right away. “Oh my god that’s classy as fuck.” He pulled his sneakers off and ran to get a closer look.

“Right?” Namjoon placed the bags near the doorway and followed the younger boy.

“Is that velvet?” It was a tufted charcoal grey couch and it made the rest of the apartment look sophisticated.

“Yeah. I wanted something fancy. And the best part is that it’s a pullout bed.”

“That old sofa looked like it came from a garbage truck compared to this.”

“Well, that’s were it is now.” He laughed.

Jungkook sat down and moved his hand against the soft fabric. “I wouldn’t mind sleeping on this.”

“I said no arguing with me on that.” He waggled his finger at the younger.

“Alright, alright.” He sighed but smiled at the expression on Namjoon’s face.

“It’s around dinner time. Are you hungry?”

“I’m always hungry.”

“Here’s some menus.” Namjoon opened a drawer in the side table beside the couch and handed him a bunch of menu pamphlets from restaurants around the area. “Pick whatever you want.”

Jungkook didn’t know what he was craving but there was an Italian place and their pictures of the pizza and pasta was making his mouth water. “This one.” He held up the menu for the Italian restaurant and Namjoon smiled as he took the paper.

“Pizza or pasta?”

“Both?”

They ordered both, a classic cheese and pepperoni pizza and tortellini in a garlic butter sauce. Jungkook’s nerves he previously had were completely forgotten as he anticipated the food being delivered. The doorbell rang in just ten minutes and Jungkook ran to the door like it was Santa arriving with presents. Namjoon payed for the food even though Jungkook had the money to, but their bickering came to a halt once they opened the pizza box.

“Thank god for pizza.”

“And pasta.” Namjoon opened the foil container with the piping hot pasta inside.

Namjoon handed Jungkook a real utensil to use instead of the plastic ones. They sat at the table with a couple paper cups and a bottle of warm soda. There wasn’t any ice in the freezer but Jungkook didn’t mind. They both ate without conversation but it wasn’t needed, the food came first at the moment. After Namjoon’s second slice of pizza he got up from his chair.

“I’ll be right back.” He licked the grease off his fingertips and left the kitchen and into his room.

Jungkook didn’t respond, too much pasta stuffed in his mouth. He watched as Namjoon came back with a box in his hands and recognized it from the electronics area he used to scope out for new photography equipment. He swallowed his food in one large gulp when the older boy set the box in front of him.

“This is for you.” Namjoon sat back down in his seat.

“Wait.” Jungkook looked at the model and couldn’t believe it. “This is really expensive, Hyung.”

“You’re camera got ruined, you needed a new one.”

“But-”

“Your camera’s lense got cracked and so did the digital screen. You deserved a really nice model anyway.”

“Hyung.” He stared at the box dumbfounded.

“I was gonna try to buy the same one you had before, I called Jimin about it. But I didn’t realize it was from 2010 so it just made sense to get a newer one.”

“Not just newer but like, one of the best ones out there?” It was an over two thousand dollar camera, one he eventually wanted to get but never expected to actually have.

“I kinda hounded Jimin to figure out what model you really wanted.” He laughed. “I swear he was gonna kill me.”

Jungkook remembered the voicemail Jimin left him about Namjoon and blushed. “You’re lucky you’re alive, then.”

“I know, I barely escaped.”

“But Hyung. How do you expect me to just except this? It’s a lot.”

“I figured you’d say that. Would it make you feel better that it’s secondhand? I bought it off a photographer that works at the music company I worked with. She bought an even newer version and gave it to me for half the retail price, because we got along.”

“That’s still a thousand dollars.” He frowned.

“What if you work it off so it doesn’t feel like I’m giving it to you for free?”

“I’m listening.”

“I’m finishing up my mixtape and I need a cover for it. Would you be the photographer?”

“That sounds fair.” He smiled.

A thousand dollars was still a lot but this was a much better solution in his eyes. Jungkook couldn’t eat as much afterwards, still shocked that his dream camera was now his. After the food got cold Namjoon put the rest away into the fridge. It wasn’t late but the younger boy felt tired. He felt greasy after eating all the food and wanted to wash up but was reluctant to use the shower. He vigorously washed his hands hoping that would help but still felt like a pile of grease.

Jungkook found Namjoon in his room pulling out some blankets from a shopping bag. “I got these today.” A thicker blanket was inside a plastic zipped bag and a fuzzy blanket was tied in a thick ribbon with a large tag on the front. “I didn’t want you to be cold.”

Jungkook wanted to yell in frustration at the pure act. Namjoon bought him soft blankets so he wouldn’t be cold. Who could handle that level of sweetness and still survive? Well, Jungkook was trying.

“Thank you, those look really cozy.”

“I’ll use the old one since I’m used to it anyway.” Namjoon folded the old blanket and held it in his arms. “Are you already tired? I can leave to let you sleep?”

“I was actually going to ask about the shower.”

“Oh! Last time I turned it on for you too. I’ll show you how to use it again.”

The older boy set the folded blanket down on the bed and lead him to the bathroom. Using other people’s showers always stressed him out. Why were they all so different? He either burns himself with scorching hot water or accidentally gives himself an iced shower. The shower he took last time at Namjoon’s apartment was a cold one but he probably needed it anyway.

Namjoon turned on the water and showed him how to adjust it, right is cold and left is hot. He repeated it in his head until Namjoon left the bathroom. The older boy already hung up a towel for him so he focused as he turned on the shower himself. He tested the water temperature with his foot and when it felt just right he stepped under the water. The soap on the shelf was just a sliver so it kept slipping out of his hands as he washed. But overall a much better shower than the last one.

He turned the water off and felt squeaky clean. Jungkook dried himself off but froze when he couldn’t find his change of clothes.

“Fuck.” He whispered to himself.

He wrapped the towel around his hips and tried to formulate a solution. Does he call Namjoon to hand him his clothes? No. He didn’t even pick out something to wear and that would mean the older boy would have to pick out his underwear. So that left him leaving the bathroom in just the towel. It was a small apartment and there was no way Namjoon wouldn’t see him. Would he think it was some kind of power move, showing off his abs? Of course that not being the case at all but Namjoon doesn’t know that. It’s almost like it’s an accidental assertiveness and he rolled his eyes knowing Taehyung would tell him to just roll with it. Without much of a choice he ended up having to do just that.

He slowly opened the door and saw Namjoon in the living room making up the pullout bed. His bags were left at the door so he’d have to walk past Namjoon to get them. He sighed and opened the door fully. He didn’t even take one step out of the bathroom before they locked eyes. The older boy’s mouth opened but no sound came out, he just stared. A boy never looked at his body before and it made his heart race. With his racing heart he tried to act natural.

“I forgot to bring a change of clothes.” A nervous laugh escaped.

Namjoon didn’t reply at first, seemingly in a trance but he soon snapped out of it. “I’ll grab the bag, just wait there.” He tripped over the metal part of the pullout bed as he walked passed it and tried to walk it off. He quickly handed the duffle bag to Jungkook and went back to making the bed.

Jungkook chuckled to himself after he closed the door again. He felt pride that he made Namjoon so obviously flustered and it was only the first night. He changed into clean lounge clothes and opened the door again. This time Namjoon wasn’t in the living room. He brought his bag into the bedroom and found the older boy making the bed, topping it off with the fuzzy blanket.

“Oh, thank you for doing that.”

There was relief in Namjoon’s eyes as he saw that Jungkook was now fully clothed. “No problem.”

“It’s only nine but I’m pretty tired so I think I’ll go to bed early.”

“Ok. I’ll be out here if you need anything.”

He closed the door behind himself and Jungkook sat on the mattress and petted the soft blanket. He turned his head and saw the camera box sitting on the side table. He thought of all the thought that went into buying him such a gift. He even got it at a cheaper price knowing Jungkook wouldn't want him to get it full price, it being so expensive and all. He wrapped the new blankets around himself and giggled like the lovesick puppy he was. He didn’t remember exactly when but once his head hit the pillow he instantly fell asleep.

He woke up when it was still dark behind the curtains and wasn’t sure how long he actually slept. He realized he never even brought his phone in the room to set an alarm so he got up to retrieve his backpack. Jungkook quietly opened the bedroom door and the rest of the apartment was dark. He walked into the living room and saw Namjoon in his cute pajamas sprawled out on the pullout. The blanket was half on the floor and he looked cold. Jungkook stepped closer to him and pulled the covers over the shivering older boy. He looked content the moment he was covered again and Jungkook smiled to himself.

Before he forgot he fetched his heavy backpack and brought it back to the room. He took out his charger and plugged in his phone. It was 4am so he still had more time to sleep so he slid back into bed after putting on the alarm. The image of Namjoon looking cold out in the living room was stuck in his head. He felt the fuzzy blanket around him and decided Namjoon needed it more. He got out of bed once again and walked quietly over to the sleeping Namjoon. He layed the blanket over the boy and lightly tucked it around him. Namjoon looked warm and cozy. He looked at his soft cheek and couldn’t help but place his palm over it. Jungkook softly caressed the older boy’s face and remembered the last time he saw his sleeping face. He wanted to kiss him goodnight again but was scared he’d wake him up. Instead he knelt down and whispered above Namjoon’s head.

“Sweet dreams.”


	19. That's So Cliché

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Storyboards and a new look

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did everyone survive the comeback??? Fake Love is literally a masterpiece!!!!
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> I only got three hours of sleep so I'm still in a zombie state but it was totally worth it. Feel free to share your favorite songs in the comments bc I can't stop talking about how great this album is ❤
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> ((my faves are fake love, untold truth, magic shop and outro tear))

The last couple days had been tiresome. Jungkook couldn’t handle going to more than two classes at a time and he felt stressed. He was missing more lessons than he wanted to. But Jungkook hadn’t even made it to the art club before he nearly passed out, thankfully Mingyu and Minghao had been there to catch him. He knew he had to dial it back. All his friends were worried about him and that only made things worse. He felt like he was being watched constantly so he ended up staying in a lot with Namjoon.

The day prior he had to go to the police station to retrieve his camera. There were still no leads but going to the station felt unsettling, almost like he himself had committed a crime. Jungkook was surprised when he got his camera back, it being much worse than he imagined. Luckily the memory card was safe so he didn’t loose the pictures. He got all the photographs transfered to a USB stick but hadn’t opened it on his laptop yet, irrationally scared that he’d see a picture of the man who hurt him.

Jungkook had no class today and had gotten a good night’s sleep. He almost wished he had classes because he felt like he could actually handle a full day. He sat on the bed moving the USB stick between his fingers and stared blankly at the wall across him. He flinched when there was a knock on the bedroom door.

“C-come in.”

Namjoon softly opened the door and smiled at the boy. “Hi. You’ve been in here for awhile.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you alright?” Namjoon looked at him concerned and he felt bad that he made him worry.

He sighed. “Not really. I hate how this concussion is more in control than I am. I can deal with my broken wrist, even if taking showers are annoying as hell now. But I don’t know, it’s just taking a toll on me I guess.” He shrugged.

Namjoon sat down beside him on the bed. “I felt exactly the same way after my concussion.”

“Really?” He looked the older boy in the eyes.

“Yeah. It fucked up how I functioned in everyday life. The hardest part is listening to your body when you just want to live the way you want. But that’s when you get hurt. So, even though it’s hard right now you’re doing the right thing by taking things slow.” He rested his hand on Jungkook’s thigh and squeezed it in reassurance.

Jungkook nodded and breathed out. He looked at the USB stick in his hand but then saw Namjoon’s hand slid over his. They didn’t say anything but the action helped ease his worries. They held hands in silence until he felt Namjoon pull the stick from his hand. “You want to look at these?”

Jungkook bit his lip. “If you do it with me.”

Namjoon stared at him attentively for a moment. “You seem hesitant. You don’t have to if you really don’t want to.”

Jungkook thought on it. He knew that it wasn’t just the concussion holding him back but the fear of remembering what happened five days ago. With more free time came more time to reflect. Jungkook never felt that kind of fear before. It was scary when the asshole in that club bathroom harassed him but there was something different about the other guy. Going for the head could end in death. Who knows what the person in the club bathroom intended for Jungkook if he got his way, he’d rather not think about it, but he _did know_ that the man who hurt him probably wouldn’t have cared if he died.

“We took a lot of pictures on that day.” He didn’t elaborate but somehow Namjoon understood.

“I could delete those for you before you look through the rest.”

Jungkook shook his head. “No. The pictures turned out really nice. I want to keep them.” He grabbed Namjoon’s hand and squeezed it. “Let’s look at them together?”

“Sure.” He smiled softly at the younger boy.

Jungkook stood up and opened his laptop that sat on the small desk in the corner of the room. He sat down in the chair and Namjoon stood behind him with his hands resting on Jungkook’s shoulders. He plugged in the USB stick into the port and his laptop recognized it. A window popped up and he clicked on the first row of photos. It was filled with some older pictures he’d taken, mostly because he hadn’t been in a creative mindset for it as much lately. He scrolled through all the pictures of landscapes and buildings and stopped once he saw Namjoon on the screen. Jungkook clicked on the first photo he took of the older boy.

“I look like that?” Namjoon said in disbelief.

Jungkook smiled at the photograph. “Yes.”

“I don’t know, it probably has more to do with the photographer’s talent.”

“Don’t discredit yourself.” He said annoyed.

“Ok ok.” The older boy patted his shoulder.

Jungkook lifted his head and looked Namjoon dead in the eyes. “You’re handsome, alright?”

The older boy looked back and forth between his eyes and Jungkook suddenly felt hot when those eyes landed on his lips. It only lasted a second but Jungkook noticed it. Namjoon cleared his throat and smiled at him before looking away.

“I’ll believe you.”

“You better.” He looked back at his laptop. “Or I’d have to slap some sense into you.”

Namjoon laughed. “You wouldn’t.”

“Don’t test me, Hyung.” He smirked.

Jungkook continued to go through the pictures but stopped once he saw the ones he took of Namjoon in the sunset light. The photos were gorgeous but he felt a pit in his stomach seeing the buildings around him, where everything went down. Namjoon noticed that the boy was off.

“Jungkookie?”

He closed his laptop and sighed. “Sorry. Seeing the location is weird.”

“Oh, yeah. That makes sense.”

“I hate that he ruined it.” Jungkook spat out.

Namjoon frowned as he looked at the younger boy. “We could try again? Another day out?”

“Yeah?” Jungkook perked up.

“Yeah. We can do anything you want.”

“Actually.” He turned around in his chair to talk directly at Namjoon. “Could we go on a trip?” He asked boldly.

“A trip? I’ve never really been on one.”

“Me neither.”

“Where would you want to go?”

“Anywhere. I just want to go _somewhere_.”

“Alright. Let’s go on a trip.” Namjoon opened his closet and pulled out a backpack and set it on the bed.

“Wait. Right now?” He stood from the chair.

“I’ve always wanted to go on a spontaneous trip. Let’s go somewhere relaxing for the weekend.”

“Hyung. Are you serious right now?”

Namjoon stopped what he was doing. “Do I sound crazy?”

He stared at the older boy and he couldn’t lie. “A little?”

Namjoon plopped down on the bed and laughed at himself. “I do sound crazy. Sorry.”

“Hyung. I’d still like to go on a trip with you, just not this very second. I want to catch up with college stuff before that. Otherwise I wouldn’t be able to relax.”

“Absolutely, yeah.” He clasped his hands together in his lap. “I think I’m used to work filling up all my time with work. I guess I just don't know what to do with myself without working now. And to be honest my head keeps getting lost in that moment you got hurt so I wanted a distraction.”

He sat back down with Namjoon on the bed and placed his hand on the older boy's arm.“My head keeps getting stuck there too. We’re not going on a trip just yet but we should do something together today.”

He smiled at Jungkook sweetly. “Ok. Do you have anything in mind?”

“It might be a little boring for you but I wanted to go to the college and work on some stuff from the art club. Would you like to come with me?”

“That doesn’t sound boring at all. I’d love to come.”

Namjoon put the backpack away and looked a bit embarrassed at himself. Jungkook reassured him and told him how excited he was for their future trip and Namjoon seemed relieved. After quickly getting ready the older boy drove them to the college and it felt a bit strange to have Namjoon walk inside with him. These were the halls he talked with Mingyu in as he gushed over his crush. It was a bit exhilarating to have the boy himself walking beside him like it was the norm.

The walk to the art club room was longer than usual since they stopped many times because of Namjoon’s curiosity with the campus. The older boy talked of how he sometimes missed his college days, excluding the exams and homework of course. He was grateful for finding a part of himself and that even included losing parts of himself too. Jungkook felt less afraid of making mistakes in life whenever the older boy told him how important it was to make some in life.

"You can’t find a purpose or find yourself if you don’t fall down sometimes. You just have to keep getting back up on your feet and try again."

Jungkook got so lost in Namjoon’s words that he almost passed the building the club room was in. Embarrassed, he lead them through the halls but tried harder to pay attention to his surroundings rather than Namjoon’s soothing voice. Mingyu had given him an extra copy of the key for instances like this, so he unlocked the door without a problem. The room was dark but the sunlight from the windows made the room glimmer. Jungkook turned the lights on and welcomed Namjoon inside.

The section of the comic he was in charge of drawing was given to someone else. He walked over to the storyboard for the next chapter and wanted to participate, but it was a little late to join since all the work was split up according to his absence. Instead he decided he’d help with cleaning up since the room was a mess, it looked like a tornado had come through.

“So, this is the story?” Namjoon looked over the pages and notes that were scattered all over the wall.

“Yeah. It’s been getting a bit more mixed feedback recently but I’m proud of it.”

“Mixed feedback, huh?”

“It’s about a boy falling for another boy. The homophobes aren’t pleased.”

“You didn’t tell me you were working on a gay webtoon!” Namjoon smiled wide.

“My friend Minghao wrote the story and it got the most votes. Cool right?”

“Hell yeah.”

“I did the concept art for this character.” Jungkook pointed to the storyboard with a messy sketch. “Wait, lemme show you the cover art.”

The club had the cover online but they also printed it out and laminated it to have in the room. The poster hung in the center of the bulletin board on the wall near the door. Jungkook pulled the tack out and handed it to Namjoon.

“This looks really professional.”

He blushed. “Thanks, we all worked hard on it. Oh, here’s the character I did.”

He pointed to the soft spoken boy who was the love interest. The character was tall, six foot four to be exact. Minghao loved the gentle giant trope when Jungkook suggested it so that was the beginning of the design. The cover was the three main characters outside the college gates. The main character Doyoung stood beside Sejun (gentle giant) while Nayeon (the girl who Doyoung originally liked) is in the background with her arms crossed wearing an angry expression. Jungkook wanted Doyoung to be innocently staring at Sejun, who seemed not to notice. Mingyu agreed with the direction and that was how his vision came to be.

“He looks like the misunderstood type.”

“You picked right up on that.” Jungkook looked at him surprised.

“Yeah, the hair in his face and his stance gave me that vibe.”

“That’s basically the whole concept of his character, misunderstood.”

“How so?”

“Do you want a summary of the story?”

“Definitely.”

Jungkook cleared his throat. “Ok. So, Doyoung,” He pointed to the drawing on the poster. “He liked Nayeon,” He pointed again. “In high school. They end up going to the same college and he finds out she’s not the sweet girl he fell for, she was actually really mean.”

“How was she mean?” Namjoon asked interested.

“She’s a bully. Even to her older brother Sejun.” He pointed to the poster.

“So why is Sejun misunderstood?”

“Well, there are rumors that he’s gay so everyone avoids him. It’s brought up later in the story that he used to be harassed in middle school because of rumors. Sadly that was written from experience from my friend Minghao.”

He frowned. “I’m sorry your friend went through that.“

“Kids that age can be ruthless. I’m lucky people never picked up on it in high school otherwise it would’ve been hell.”

“So you were aware you were gay then?”

“Yeah, about age fifteen I knew. What about you?”

“I don’t know exactly when I knew to be honest. In high school I looked at boy’s and sometimes even imagined being with them, but I somehow wrote it off and never connected the dots. It was almost like I _knew_ but I wouldn’t let myself actually admit it.”

“For me I thought I was broken because I couldn’t like a girl. I dated a lot in high school but it just didn’t feel right.”

“So, was it anything specific that made you realize?”

Jungkook fidgeted with his hands unsure if he should answer honestly. “Uhh. Yeah.” He glanced at Namjoon who looked at him attentively and he decided to continue. “I saw a boy one day and it kinda clicked? Not instantly, but after awhile I was like, _oh_  I like him. And it felt amazing to like someone, even if he didn’t know I existed.”

“You never got to know him?”

Jungkook laughed nervously. “It’s a bit complicated.”

Namjoon’s eyebrows furrowed. “Do you still like him?”

“Uhhhh.” He became flustered and wished he could change the topic without being too obvious.

It was like the universe heard his plea and the door suddenly opened. Jungkook yelped as he watched the door hit Namjoon’s back with some force.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry!” Mingyu walked from behind the door and apologized profusely.

“Mingyu!” He stepped from behind Namjoon.

“Jungkook! I didn’t know you were coming down here.”

“I thought I’d clean up a little since I was feeling better today.”

“That’s boring. I could give you something better to do.”

Namjoon awkwardly tried to enter the conversation but failed as the friends caught up. “Um.”

Jungkook finally noticed and felt like an asshole. “Oh. This is my friend.”

The older boy smiled at Mingyu and bowed. “I’m Namjoon. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Mingyu. Nice to meet you too.”

Mingyu immediately after looked to Jungkook and made a face but he didn’t understand what he was trying to tell him. Soon his friend grew so annoyed that he politely asked for them to be excused. Namjoon didn’t seem to mind and Jungkook was dragged out the door.

“What’s your issue?” He whispered.

“That’s Mr. First love isn’t it?”

He couldn’t escape the inevitable. “Yeah. It is.”

Mingyu smiled so hard Jungkook was afraid his face would break. “The dimples gave it away. He’s really cute.”

He sighed. “He is isn’t he.”

“I finally have a face to the name this is so great! Also, you said you’re living with him too? It’s like Minghao wrote another gay webtoon and you’re living it.”

“Minghao wouldn’t make me suffer this much would he? We’d be dating by now if he wrote it.”

“Not necessarily true. Minghao loves a good slow burn.”

He smacked Mingyu in the arm. “Stop, you’re gonna make me hate Minghao for some imaginary webtoon he never wrote.”

He laughed. “Don’t want that.”

“Can we go back in? I don’t want him feeling like we just left or something.”

“Alright. I don’t want to upset Mr. First love.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes as they walked back inside the club room. Namjoon was standing at the storyboard and seemed lost in a trance reading the pages. He flinched when Jungkook announced they were back and the older boy smiled, embarrassed that he got spooked.

Mingyu broke the ice. “Did you want to work on something more.. enjoyable?”

“I wouldn’t say no.”

“Ok, let me just grab it real quick.” He walked over to where they kept scrap paper and art supplies. “This.” He held up a thick spiral notebook. “Is Minghao’s and it’s where he writes the story.”

“I didn’t know he wrote it out on paper. I figured he typed it out.”

“He says writing on paper works better for him. But he’s kinda stuck on the plot right now. He had an overall idea for the story but he doesn’t know what to write next.”

“Writer’s block?” Namjoon asked.

“Yeah. Jungkook, you made some good suggestions before so maybe you could write some ideas down and give him some inspiration?”

Jungkook nodded. “I could try.”

“Oh, I almost forgot the reason I even came down here in the first place.” Mingyu went through a box and pulled out some paper. “I needed this receipt for the budget. We bought new editing software to use for the webtoon. You’ll see how much better it looks in the next chapter.” He folded the receipt and placed it in his backpack. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll try to come to the meeting tomorrow too.”

“Cool. It was nice meeting you Namjoon.”

“Same to you Mingyu.” His friend waved and left the club room. Jungkook stared at the notebook and opened it up to the most recent page. Namjoon sat down on the table across from him and comfortably sat with his legs crossed.

“I don’t think I’ll be of much help with writing but I can help brainstorm.”

“What are you talking about? You write music! That’s another form of storytelling, right?”

He chuckled. “Yeah that’s true but for me a lot of the time it’s not necessarily storytelling, it’s more like I’m writing an autobiography.”

“That’s still a story, just yours.” He huffed. “I’m the one whose never written anything so..” He shrugged.

“Ok then, were did he leave off?”

“Well, Doyoung keeps seeing Sejun on campus and he’s curious about him but they haven’t technically met. Minghao has it written down here that he’s not sure what the best way for them to meet is.”

“Hmm.” Namjoon held his chin as he thought. “Give me some character traits on Sejun.”

“Oh, ok. He’s a third year. He is smart and quiet and dresses pretty plainly. Very tall. The oblivious type and uhh he’s a kind soul and loves animals.”

Namjoon nodded his head. “So like, is he _super_ smart or _regular_ smart?”

“Are you asking if he’s a genius like you?”

“Maybe…”

“It hasn’t been made clear in the story.”

“How about Doyoung needs a tutor and he ends up getting Sejun?”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes. “Is this idea from experience?”

The older boy’s eyes shifted. “I may or may not have met a past girlfriend that way.”

“That’s so cliché!” He laughed.

“You know what’s funnier? I was a third year too. I’m apparently this Sejun guy now.”

Namjoon _was_ the smart yet oblivious type, Jungkook thought. So does that make him Doyoung? Maybe Minghao did write a webtoon about them and now he’s trapped in a slow burn trope for all of eternity.

“You’re not as tall so, that’s off the table.”

“Could you imagine if I was that tall? Nah, I prefer my height.”

“I would feel like an ant compared to you so yeah I prefer your current height too.”

Jungkook wrote down notes for Minghao and they filled an entire page of ideas in hopes that it’d help his friend. They were there for over an hour and he started to feel his stomach rumble, asking for food. Jungkook suggested that they get food at the cafeteria and Namjoon agreed. Their walk across campus wasn’t nearly as long, both boys eager to get some food in their bellies. Once they made it to the cafeteria Jungkook was surprised to see how packed it was. He usually would’ve left to eat off campus instead of being surrounded by so many people but being with Namjoon calmed his nerves.

“Wow. I haven’t eaten at a cafeteria in so long.”

Namjoon walked slightly more in front of him and squeezed past a large group of people. It felt like he had a personal body guard as the older boy’s arm hovered around him to make sure he wasn’t crushed by the rush of other students. After a bit of waiting they were finally in line for the food. Namjoon wanted to hold both trays but Jungkook teased him saying he didn’t want his food to be seasoned with the floor. Namjoon ultimately agreed that he probably would’ve dropped one of their trays in the end, especially if one of them decided to get soup.

Jungkook paid for the food with his student card and they wandered to try to find a place to sit. They were both caught off guard when someone shouted Jungkook’s name. He turned around and saw Jimin a few tables away waving excitedly while Minghao sat down beside him. They walked over with their trays and sat down with his friends.

“You didn’t have classes today! What are you doing here?” Jimin asked a bit confused.

“I felt good today so I went to the art club for a bit.”

“And you brought Namjoon, huh? How does it feel to be back at college?”

The older boy laughed. “Well, I’m not doing any actual work so it’s great.”

“This is Minghao.” Jungkook introduced his friend.

“Hi, I’m Namjoon.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you from Jungkook.” Minghao smirked and Jungkook froze.

“Oh really? Like what?”

“That you’re a talented producer and rapper. And that you have cute dimples.”

Jungkook screamed internally and didn’t dare look at Namjoon’s current expression. Minghao looked between the two and seemed happy with their reactions. He decided to peak over at the older boy and was pleasantly surprised to see him blushing as he tried to give a response back.

“T-that’s nice.”

“Don’t torture them.” Jimin sighed. “Anyway, what did you do at the art club?”

“Ah, we bumped into Mingyu and he gave us your notebook.” Jungkook looked to Minghao.

“My notebook?“

“Yeah, we wrote down ideas for the story since we were told you’re stuck on it.”

“Oh. That’s.. thank you. I’ll look through that later today. We’ve got practice tonight and it’s gonna be grueling.”

Jungkook noticed Namjoon was quietly eating his food as he paid attention to the conversation but didn’t try to talk up. He wanted to bring him into the conversation so he asked him a question.

“Did Hoseok Hyung major in dance too?”

The older boy quickly gulped his food to answer. “Uh yeah. But he said practice for him wasn’t hell. He was almost like a second instructor.”

“I can believe that.” Minghao nodded.

“He teaches sometimes at a studio because he loves that kind of environment.”

“He does?” Minghao shrieked. “He’s never said that in a video.”

Namjoon smiled. “He does it on a whim a lot of the time so he didn’t want to tell his audience in case they expected a specific schedule from him.”

“And he shouldn’t have to disclose every little thing, right?” Jungkook shrugged.

“People on YouTube usually share every second of their lives online so I guess I’m just used to that mentality.”

“Did Seokjin Hyung tell you guys what he’s doing next week?” Jimin grined.

“He hasn’t contacted me lately.” Namjoon frowned.

“Probably because last time you ignored his texts.” Jungkook deadpanned.

“It wasn’t on purpose I was busy!”

“Well.” Jimin interrupted. “He texts me now instead and he said he’s doing a video with Hoseok Hyung.”

Jungkook realized he’d forgotten about the video he did with Hoseok and he wondered if the video would be released any day now. “What’s the video gonna be about?”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Drag Queens.” Namjoon said immediately.

“More specifically it’s gonna be a drag makeover.”

“Oh my god. Is Hobi going to be transformed into a Drag Queen?” Minghao shook Jimin’s shoulders.

“You got it.” He winked.

“Hoseok is gonna look really good.”

“Will he even need nose contour?” Jungkook laughed.

“His nose would become a dagger.” Namjoon bursted out laughing.

The four of them finished their lunch while discussing potential Drag names for Hoseok, Miss Hobi being the favorite (coined by Minghao). Jungkook said goodbye to his friends and they left the cafeteria. It wasn’t as packed so Namjoon wasn’t playing his body guard anymore. Instead he tried to shorten the distance between them himself. Namjoon either didn’t mind or was completely oblivious to it but they walked down the hall shoulder to shoulder.

Jungkook felt good. It was the first day he felt completely himself and he was happy that he got to show Namjoon a bit of his world. It wasn’t nearly as exciting as a music studio but he knew Namjoon would appreciate it anyway. They both were creative people and it was fun to see how other people create, at least that’s how he felt. The older boy drove them back to the apartment and he plopped down on the velvet couch as soon as he slid off his sneakers.

“You tired?” The older boy followed him to the living room.

“Not really, I just like this couch.”

“Am I gonna find you making out with my couch one morning?” He laughed as he leaned against the wall.

“Hyung, I’m not some person from an American TV show that dates their car.”

“What kind of TV shows have you been watching?” Namjoon chuckled.

“You don’t wanna know.”

“Well, know I know there are people in the world who date their car. I like knowing stuff but that’s one thing I never thought I’d hear.”

“You sound so innocent.” Jungkook giggled to himself.

“What? And you aren’t?”

He sat up straight and watched as Namjoon crossed his arms and wore a devilish grin. “I’m not innocent.” Jungkook spat out.

“Oh? What crazy stuff have you done?”

Jungkook crossed his legs and tapped his fingers against the fabric of the couch. “Uhh. Define crazy..”

“Jungkookie. Just own up to it, you’re definitely more innocent than wild.”

“I might’ve never done anything crazy but it doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it.” He huffed.

“Like?”

Jungkook fidgeted. “It’s too embarrassing to say out loud.”

“See, that’s the difference between someone wild and someone innocent. But it’s not a bad thing.”

“Then name something wild you’ve done, Mr. I collect stuffed animals.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Leave my Ryan collection out of this." He uncrossed his arms and took a few steps toward Jungkook. "You wanna hear?"

Jungkook nodded. "Go ahead."

“I had sex with a guy on a roof once.”

“A roof?!”

“Yeah, it was a bit awkward.”

“A damn roof?!”

Namjoon laughed. “I was in college and a little drunk.”

“That definitely seems like drunken college behaviour that’s for sure.”

“It was a bit too adventurous to me though. ”

“Yeah it would’ve been great fun if you fell off the roof naked.”

“Honestly it’s a miracle that that didn’t happen.”

They both laughed and then the room fell to silence for a moment. “So uh.” Namjoon ran his hand through his hair. “I was thinking I’d go get my hair dyed, the roots are really coming in and I knew if Seokjin Hyung saw me he’d be offended by the negligence.”

“Are you doing it now?”

“Might as well before I push it off more.”

“Will you be keeping that color?”

“Probably? Unless the hairdresser suggests another color.”

“You should dye it black.”

“I don’t think I look good with black hair.” He grumbled.

“I think you’d look really handsome with it.”

Namjoon looked stunned by the thought. “R-really?”

“It’s up to you of course but yeah, I think it’d look good.” He smiled softly at the older boy and he smiled back.

“Ok. Well, I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Bye.”

Once the apartment was empty he decided it was a good time to look at the things he missed from his classes. It was undeniably a bit hard to concentrate when Namjoon was around so he knew he had to use his time wisely. He spread out his books on the coffee table and dug into work.

Only a half hour passed when he got a text message. He didn’t want to reply right away, afraid his work would take the back burner but not even a minute passed and he ended up caving.

 

**Hoseok Hyung**

sent 2:34pm

_I was going to postpone uploading your video if that’s alright? I wanted to post it after the video I’m doing with Seokjin Hyung if you’re ok with that._

 

**Me**

sent 2:36pm

_That’s totally fine! I heard about a Drag makeover???_

 

**Hoseok Hyung**

sent 2:37pm

_^u^ You heard right! I kinda wanted to invite everyone before filming to have a small fun (and very gay) party? It’d be a week from now of course._

 

**Me**

sent 2:38pm

_I love that! And I need the social interaction.._

 

**Hoseok Hyung**

sent 2:39pm

_Perfect ❤ Let’s all hang out then!_

 

Jungkook was looking forward to the chaos that would ensue at the party next week. It also motivated him as he saw all the text books laying open in front of him. He would get caught up on his work and then have fun with all his friends. For the next hour and a half Jungkook was dead to the world as he worked on his assignments.

He was so focused on his work that he didn’t notice the front door being unlocked. It wasn’t until Namjoon announced that he was back that Jungkook realized.

“I got a few groceries since we were low on some things.” His voice came from the kitchen.

Jungkook hopped off the couch and went to the kitchen. “What’d ya get?”

The older boy turned around after placing something in the fridge. “Just some basics.”

“Hyung…” He stared at the older boy in front of him and almost couldn’t believe what he saw. “You.. dyed it black.”

Namjoon blushed and ran his hand through his hair messily. “Yeah. The hairdresser agreed that it’d look good so I tried it.”

“It looks _really_ good, Hyung. And so does the trim in the back.”

“Oh, You noticed?” He placed a hand on his neck. “I kinda like my bangs growing out right now so the hairdresser just trimmed the back for me.”

“You look really handsome.”

Namjoon smiled at him softly. “Thank you, Jungkookie.”

For the rest of the day he couldn’t stop staring at Namjoon. He declared that he’d get his work done but the older boy just looked _too_ damn good, infuriatingly so. He had to close himself off in the bedroom in the evening in an attempt to get any work done. It was late in the night when he realized he never ate dinner so he allowed himself to exit the room for only that. He was surprised to see Namjoon was already in bed when he opened the door. All the lights were off except for the one in the kitchen.

Jungkook’s heart melted once he entered the kitchen and saw what was left on the kitchen table. Namjoon had covered his dinner for him and left a note.

 

_Don’t study too late! Make sure you eat this so you’re not hungry. Sorry if the taste isn’t the best._

**_-Namjoon_ **

 

He lifted the cover and saw kimbap on a plate. It was made a bit messy with some of the fillings falling out but he didn’t care. He took a bite and even though it was a bit bland it still tasted good. Jungkook sat at the table and finished every last bite with a smile on his face and went to bed full. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I write about Minghao having writer's block bc I had writer's block? Perhaps.
> 
> That's why the ending for the chapter is a bit lacking. Sorryyy T n T


	20. Why Did You Stop?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long pockets and pretty lipgloss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bbmas performance is tonight and I'm a complicated mixture of SO READY and NOT READY AT ALL
> 
> Beware of possible misspellings and grammatical errors!

A week passed by and Jungkook’s life was back to normal, for the most part that is. He had now been going to classes like normally and was back to working on the webtoon again. Namjoon woke up early every morning and drove him to college and he enjoyed the ride, even though it didn’t last long. Oddly enough he was getting used to living with the older boy and having him around felt like second nature. Namjoon would sometimes help him with an assignment and even cook for him when he was too involved in his work and forgot to eat. Jungkook tried not to think about when he’d soon have to leave. Don’t get him wrong, he loved and missed living with Jimin but staying with Namjoon was like living a real life dream.

He had some spare time between classes so Jungkook decided to surprise Jimin at practice. The dance department felt like a different planet. Everyone looked so toned and they carried themselves differently too. Jungkook didn’t want to sound like he was stereotyping but everyone seemed lighter on their feet, he wouldn’t have been surprised if some of them actually floated on by. He noticed it too with Jimin. Maybe it had something to do with better posture?

His train of thought stopped when he found the room Jimin was in, only knowing the room number thanks to Minghao. He had bought a bunch of snacks and drinks hoping to share with whomever else was in the room with Jimin. He knocked on the door before entering but he figured he wasn’t heard due to the loud music. He walked inside and noticed the wall full of mirrors first. A group of six, including Jimin and Minghao were dancing to a fast beat in perfect precision. It was as if they had been copy and pasted, the dance being so exact from each person that it almost didn’t look real.

He moved to the side to stay out of the way and watched the rest of the routine. After the song stopped he clapped and Jimin did a double take when he saw his friend’s reflection in the mirror.

“Jungkookie! What are you doing here?”

He lifted up the plastic bags from the convenience store. “I brought snacks for everyone.”

The group of dancers cheered at the offering and a girl jumped up and down in excitement. “I’m on a diet right now but I would never turn down free snacks.”

“A diet? But you’re already small.” He said perplexed.

The girl laughed. “It’s not to get skinny.” She lifted her shirt and there was the start of some definition. “It’s to get muscles.”

“Just you wait, Hayoon here is going to have even more impressive abs than you Jungkookie.“ Jimin smirked.

A boy in the back shook his head. “Hayoon just met this guy and already lifted her shirt.”

“You should be used to that behavior from your sister by now right?” Minghao laughed.

Hayoon walked over to Jungkook and introduced herself and everyone followed suit afterwards. After introductions they all settled on the floor and Jungkook handed the snacks out. He sipped on a bottle of fruit juice himself and let everyone get first pick on the food. He was left with kimchi flavored chips and happily munched on them as he watched the dancers bicker about some footwork they needed to add last minute to the routine.

“Do they want my ankles to snap in half?” Hayoon’s brother complained.

“Haknyeon can you not put that image in my head?” Jimin grimaced.

“Sorry.” He giggled.

Jungkook smiled, happy seeing Jimin comfortable with everyone. His friend was so nervous before college started but he was glad to see Jimin full of sass and confidence like his usual self around the other dancers. He stood up when he saw the time and realized his next class was already coming up soon.

“I’ll be heading off now. It was great meeting all of you.”

“Mingyu and I will meet you guys later.” Minghao waved.

Everyone waved goodbye to him and he left the practice room. Jungkook had asked Hoseok in a text if he could invite some extra friends so, now Mingyu and Minghao would meet everyone. Yoohyeon already said she’d be bringing Handong so the apartment would be very full tonight. He had one more class before Namjoon picked him up to buy some food for the party. Seokjin wanted to make a home cooked meal so everyone had a list to buy certain groceries, that way not just one person had to buy food for a group of eleven people. Jungkook had the image of Seokjin cooking in full Drag and hoped that was what he’d see that night.

The lecture felt extra long, probably because he had the party on his mind and wanted the time to go by faster. Before class even finished he was already packing away his things and when they were released, Jungkook was the first out of the room. He told Namjoon to wait in his car this time since it was starting to get colder. Jungkook only realized after leaving in the morning how cold the air was becoming. Of course he berated Namjoon but he himself was without a jacket. It took a bit to find the older boy’s car in the mix of parked cars but he recognized Namjoon’s side profile from a distance in the driver’s seat and ran to vehicle.

He opened the car door and felt relief as he sat down and noticed Namjoon had the heat on low. He placed his cold fingers in front of the vents before buckling up. He looked over to Namjoon who rolled his eyes at him.

“You yell at me about the cold and yet you don’t have a jacket on. Look, I even wore a hat!”

Namjoon’s hair was tucked up inside a black beanie and he wore a jean jacket over a grey sweatshirt. Jungkook nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I know. I suck.”

“You actually brought a jacket to my apartment right?”

“Uhh I just brought hoodies and sweatshirts.”

Namjoon drove out of the parking lot and shook his head. “Jungkookie you’re killing me here.”

He smirked. “Hyung, it’s not even in the one digit numbers yet, I’ll be fine for one day.”

“Alright just don’t complain if you’re too cold if you don’t want to hear me saying I told you so.” He shrugged with a smile.

“Deal.”

Namjoon drove them to a large market to buy fresh vegetables. After they parked they walked around the stalls. The air was cold and the breeze made it worse but Jungkook kept his lips sealed, resisting the urge to shiver visibly. The further they walked they ended up being surrounded by a lot of fish, so the smell was pretty strong. He looked at Namjoon and laughed at the face of disgust as they walked by tanks filled with live fish.

“Hyung, you doing ok?” He tried to contain his laughter.

“It smells bad but it’s all good.” Namjoon’s lip quivered.

“Uh huh.” He grabbed the fabric around the older boy’s elbow and dragged him past the fish tanks. “I think the vegetables are down here.”

“Thank god.” The older boy whispered.

Jungkook asked for the list and Namjoon pulled out his phone to look at the text from Seokjin. They were in charge of vegetables so there was a decent amount listed. The older boy followed him around as he did the actual shopping. After buying some cucumbers their bags were filled to the brim and pretty heavy. Jungkook carried one bag while Namjoon carried the rest. Once they got to the car they got into a little predicament. Namjoon couldn’t set the bags down on the ground due to the fact that everything would roll out, so there wasn’t a way for him to grab his keys. They stared at each other blankly not sure what to do. Namjoon suggested they take a chance and set a bag down but Jungkook knew everything would fall out the second he let go.

“Wait. If you hand me the one bag you’re holding you could grab the keys out of my pocket.”

Jungkook gulped. “You want me to stick my hand in your front pocket..”

“Only for a second.”

He thanked the heavens that Namjoon’s jeans weren’t super tight. He gave the older boy the bag and once he saw Namjoon had a good hold of it he stepped closer. He glanced down and saw the shape of the keys in his right pocket. What Namjoon’s jeans lacked in tightness they had in pockets, long pockets. The angle was awkward when he slid his hand down to grab the keys. He was worried it felt like he was feeling up Namjoon’s thigh but after an awkward moment he successfully pulled out the keys.

“Got em.”

Jungkook quickly unlocked the car and Namjoon set the groceries in the trunk. He sat in the passenger seat waiting for Namjoon but couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that he _did_ basically feel up Namjoon’s thigh through his pocket. Jungkook obviously had a thing for the older boy’s thighs since the first time he saw him so it felt like everything came full circle, perverted as it may sound. He definitely wasn’t as innocent as Namjoon said he was, he thought. But there was no way in hell he was going to prove that to the older boy, anything wild he’d ever thought of usually involved an image of Namjoon. Jungkook’s face felt hot at just the thought but he was brought back to reality once Namjoon was back inside the car.

“That took longer than I thought.” He started up the car.

“Yeah, a supermarket is usually easier to navigate.”

“But it was fun. I never really shop for fresh food like that. We should do that again sometime.”

Jungkook smiled without looking directly at Namjoon. “I’d like that.”

They finally drove out to Hoseok’s apartment after food shopping for over an hour (they got distracted and bought a snack but that’s beside the point). It was a faster ride than the subway but still a little ways away. Jimin texted him that he and the rest of their friends were currently on the subway so they’d arrive after them. Seokjin and Yoongi were already at the apartment, Seokjin needed extra time to bring in all his Drag essentials and Yoongi was probably his forced assistant.

They arrived at the apartment a little past 4pm and after the struggle of bringing up the bags of groceries out of the car and into the elevator they were greeted by a cheerful Hoseok at the door.

Hoseok immediately noticed the hazard that was Namjoon holding over stuffed bags of vegetables. “Oh, lemme grab these.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks Hyung.”

After sliding off his shoes he followed the friendly host into the kitchen with the bag he held himself. It was a gally kitchen but still felt spacious and he noticed Seokjin had already made himself at home, putting rice in the rice cooker down near the sink. He wasn’t in Drag like Jungkook had hoped but he wore a lose T-shirt that showed his broad shoulders and a bit of his collarbone. The young boy was no doubt in love with Namjoon but he couldn’t _not_ appreciate the eye candy that was Kim Seokjin.

Seokjin smiled big when he saw Jungkook behind Hoseok. “Ah! You’re here!” He shouted.

Hoseok yelped as he nearly dropped the bags of groceries. “Hyung, you scared the shit out of me!” He exaggerated his breathing to show how frightened he was.

Jungkook laughed at the extreme eye roll Seokjin gave Hoseok. “You’re literally always yelling so don’t try to come for me.”

“My yelling is appropriately timed!”

“Unlike your jokes.” He smirked.

“Excuse me I’m hilarious and you know it.”

“True, but it sounded good to say.” He giggled.

Hoseok playfully smacked the oldest boy’s back and Seokjin whined and complained about how terrible his friends treated him. Jungkook could watch them bicker all day but after they dropped off the food Hoseok brought him out to the living room where Namjoon and Yoongi were already in conversation.

“You guys talking music already?” The red head questioned.

“Nah. We haven’t seen each other in over a week and he tells me he dyed his hair black but won’t show me.“

“Really? He could be lying since the sides were black because his roots were coming in, the beanie hides the rest.” Hoseok eyed Namjoon.

“Why would I lie?” He laughed.

“Then why not show them?” Jungkook asked.

“Because this bastard is gonna tease me for finally cracking after six years of saying I hate my hair black.” He pointed to Yoongi who had a smug look on his face.

“Yeah, you cracked alright.” Yoongi glanced at Jungkook as he let out a laugh.

“Is that drama I’m hearing?” Seokjin stood in the living room doorway.

“Joonie won’t show us his newly dyed hair.” Hoseok whined.

“Hmm can’t have that.” The handsome man walked across the room and in one swoop of his hand, snatched the beanie right off Namjoon’s head.

It took a moment for Namjoon to realize. “Wait.” He covered his head with his hands. “It’s all flat and messy! Why couldn’t you guys let me show you when I wasn’t wearing a beanie all day.” He pouted.

Yoongi pulled his friend’s hands away. “You can’t just tell me Jungkook convinced you to finally go black and not let me see.” Jungkook averted his eyes when Yoongi glanced at him again.

“Ahhh! It looks great!” Hoseok cheered.

“I can’t believe we’ve never seen you with black hair.” Seokjin said as he ruffled the flat hair to give it some volume.

“I’ve known him six years and this in my first time seeing it too.” Yoongi poked him hard on the temple. “He never listened to me all these years.”

“Ow.” Namjoon pushed the older boy away. “I liked my blonde hair a lot back then, so what?”

The doorbell rang and Seokjin almost hit the ceiling from the surprise, Yoongi laughed so hard he almost choked. Jungkook followed Hoseok to the door to welcome his friends. As soon as the door opened Yoohyeon leaped onto him and hugged him tight.

“Kookie! I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too!”

The hug was awkward around his cast and he had to peal her off since her tight hug made his skin pinch against the hard casing. Once released, everyone else came inside the apartment. He noticed Taehyung wasn’t there and asked Jimin about it. Apparently right before they left Taehyung got a text from his manager and it seemed urgent so their friend would come by afterwards. Mingyu and Minghao looked shell shocked by their surroundings and he wondered if he had a similar look his first time there. Mingyu carried the bag of beef Seokjin asked for and Jungkook took it to the kitchen and quickly returned. Jimin and Hoseok were hugging when he came back and had started taking about the latest upload on Hope World, a dance cover. Jungkook watched as Minghao looked interested in the conversation but seemed a bit shy to say anything.

“My friend Minghao is a dancer too.” He extended his arm to the boy and Hoseok’s eyes sparkled.

“Oh! I love meeting other dancers! I’m Hoseok by the way, I’m happy to meet the rest of you.”

“I uh like your channel.” Minghao tried to say with confidence.

“Wow thank you.” He smiled wide. “You’ll see the craziness that is of making a video with Seokjin Hyung. Everyone else is in the living room.”

They were lead to the living room where Namjoon had his beanie firmly back on his head, a little bit more of his hair showing this time. There wasn’t as much seating but Yoohyeon sat down and demanded her girlfriend sit on her lap. With a bit of reluctance Handong sat down and Yoohyeon looked like the happiest person on the planet as she wrapped her hands around Handong’s stomach.

“That’s a good idea Yoohyeon. Does anyone want to sit on my lap? I assure you I don’t bite.” Seokjin winked at Jimin and the smaller boy burst out laughing.

“No way, you’d probably start tickling me.” Jimin said as he crossed his arms with a smirk.

“Fine! Hoseok, how about you?”

“I’d rather sit on the floor.”

The oldest boy put his hands on his hips. “Yoongi. You’re my last hope.”

“If I do will you stop blabbering?”

“For the time being, yes.”

Yoongi sighed as he stood up and waddled over to Seokjin and surely enough sat down on his lap. Namjoon covered his mouth to muffle his laughter but Hoseok and Jimin couldn’t contain theirs.

“Yoongi Hyung looks so tiny.” Hoseok said in between laughs.

“Fuck you.” He mumbled.

Jimin almost fell to the floor but held onto Minghao’s arm for support. “Hyung looks so cute.”

Seokjin moved Yoongi’s head out of his vision and looked towards Jungkook’s friends. “Who are those handsome fellas.”

“They’re together don’t hit on them.” Jungkook pointed out.

Seokjin frowned. “You make it sound like I hit on every boy I see.”

Yoongi raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you?”

The oldest boy was obviously caught and kept his mouth shut. Mingyu and Minghao introduced themselves to everyone and everyone complimented Mingyu’s height. Namjoon laughed and pointed out that it still seemed like they were hitting on him and Mingyu blushed at the attention.

After introductions and a lots of chit chat Seokjin went back to the kitchen to check on the food. Jungkook stood near Jimin who was seated but he eyed the empty space on the sofa next to Namjoon across the room. The doorbell rang again and Yoongi shot up from his seat. Taehyung must’ve texted him that he’d be late but it was cute to see how eager the older boy was to see his boyfriend. Jungkook followed behind and saw the defeated look on Taehyung’s face as the door was opened.

“TaeTae. What’s wrong?” Yoongi said lowly.

Taehyung walked inside and hugged Yoongi. “My company got bribed.”

“What?!”

Jungkook stayed quiet and soon the rest of their friends filtered in as they heard Yoongi’s raised voice. Taehyung stepped away from the hug and looked at everyone gathered around. The frowning boy removed his loafers and held Yoongi’s hand. Everyone stared at the action in confusion but followed as the older boy dragged Taehyung into the living room. They sat quietly until Hoseok cautiously asked what happened.

Taehyung looked at his boyfriend. “It’s about us.”

“About us?” He raised his eyebrows in shock.

“I didn’t want everyone to find out this way..” He whispered. “Me and Yoongi are together and now my company knows.”

The room stayed silent except for a couple knowing smiles exchanged, obviously not that phased at the announcement of the couple. But the smiles faded quickly.

“My manager was sent pictures of us.” He continued. “They were of us in front of your apartment as we kissed goodbye.”

“The bastard followed you to our apartment?” Seokjin said in rage.

Yoongi looked at his roommate upset that Seokjin’s privacy could’ve been invaded too. He looked to Taehyung and saw the boy was tearing up. “TaeTae. Don’t cry.” His voice wavered.

“They asked for money in exchange for the hard copy of the pictures. I’m lucky my company didn’t just drop me then and there. But they paid the person and my salary is cut now because of it. I’m sorry I got you involved in this, Hyung.”

Yoongi shook his head. “Don’t be sorry, idiot. It’s not your fault.”

“I can’t believe they are cutting your pay because of it though.” Jimin spat out.

Taehyung shrugged. “I’m honestly ok with it. When I first heard about the bribe I was sure they’d fire me. They paid ten million won* for me, I can’t be mad.”

“It makes sense that your company didn’t fire you.” Namjoon said. “You’ve been gaining a lot of attention in the media lately so they’d probably lose way more money than ten million won if they let you go.”

“I kinda figured that it was all about money but my manager was really nice during the whole ordeal. Even if the company itself sees me as profit first and a human being second, it was ok because the staff and management around me wanted to make sure I was ok.” He smiled.

“And this all just happened in the past hour?” Jungkook said dumbfounded.

“It technically happened this morning but I was only informed after my company decided what to do.” Taehyung let out a long sigh. “I needed this party more than I thought.” He laughed. “Someone give me a snack!”

Seokjin scurried to the kitchen and everyone laughed as Taehyung whined for soda and something salty. The oldest came back with a bottle of soda and a bag of chips. Jungkook was always amazed how Taehyung could bounce right back from troublesome situations.

He thought of the time before his friend joined the modeling company, the time when he was hounded because of his style choices. It was such a stupid and superficial thing to make fun of but Taehyung ignored them. He was nicknamed _Grandpa Crazy_ and was told he should be at an old people’s home if he wanted to dress like one. Taehyung thought it was hilarious how much people cared about his ties and wide pants. But of course they had all shut up once he was scouted and given praise in interviews after he got more attention in the limelight.

The apartment had gotten loud now that everyone was gathered. Yoongi still held onto Taehyung, making sure the boy really was ok. Hoseok, Minghao and Jimin were talking about a viral video from a TV show. Seokjin was berating Mingyu because he found out the boy had turned down modeling in the past, saying it was such a waste on his pretty face. Yoohyeon still had Handong on her lap and they were the only two talking quietly, giving each other sweet looks. Taehyung was trying to feed Yoongi chips as he laughed over something on his phone and it was then that Jungkook noticed it was only Namjoon and himself who weren’t in conversation with anyone. Namjoon must’ve noticed too because when he looked in the older boy’s direction he saw that the older boy’s eyes were already on him.

They locked eyes and Namjoon smiled. Jungkook looked at the empty space on the sofa again and the older boy noticed. From across the room Namjoon pointed at Jungkook then to the empty space beside him. He got the idea and shyly walked over to the older boy. Namjoon moved a bit to the side for him and Jungkook sat down.

“Hey.” He said awkwardly.

“Why didn’t you come over here earlier? You stood there alone for quite a while.”

“I guess I was just listening to all the other conversations going on.”

He rubbed his hands over his arms to warm himself, the cold from before still sticking with him. As if in a silent conversation, Namjoon shook his head and pulled off his jean jacket. Jungkook narrowed his eyes, not yet wanting to admit defeat. But the older boy placed his jacket on Jungkook's shoulders and it felt warm right away. Namjoon laughed as he struggled to place his one arm inside the sleeve as his cast made it impossible to wear it normally. They didn't speak for a moment but as it got louder Namjoon spoke up.

“It sounds like someone layered three songs over each other in here.” He laughed.

“Seokjin yelling at Mingyu is really helping with that.”

“Your poor friend.” He faked a frown.

“He really didn’t know what he was getting himself into when I invited him over.”

“This many outgoing people in one room? Nobody was ready.“

“I don’t think I’ve ever hung out with this many people in my life. Let alone _actually_ being friends with all of them.”

“Same here. We both are a bit more like loners. Probably why we get along so well.”

“Two loners hanging out doesn’t sound very loner-like though.” He smirked.

“You’d think so but we can hang out and not feel the need to talk the whole time. When I’m with Tae I have to keep up with all the conversation.”

“I think that just means we’re comfortable with each other.”

“Yeah.. that’s true.” Namjoon smiled warmly at him.

Everyone’s chatter stopped after Seokjin checked on dinner and announced it was done. It got hectic again as the table was set up and everyone tried to figure out the seating arrangement. After a bit of discussion the group of friends were seated. Seokjin and Hoseok brought out the large pot full of stew and all the beef cooked to perfection. After followed all the vegetables and even kimchi Seokjin brought over that he fermented two months ago. Jungkook was seated between Minghao and Namjoon and the older boy helped get food for him, grabbing a big bowl of stew with his one hand was definitely a bad idea. Soon most of the talking turned into mumbles as the food was too good to be interrupted by speaking. Fifteen minutes later and everyone was stuffed. Jungkook internally cursed at Yoongi for always taking Seokjin’s cooking for granted if this was what he got on the daily.

Taehyung complained that he ate too much and collapsed on the sofa. Hoseok stood in the middle of the room and loudly cleared his throat.

“Everyone. After we digest our dinner we’ll start the video!”

“Fuck digesting my food! I wanna see Hoseok Hyung in drag now!” Taehyung slurred from his lying position.

“Tae, patience.” Jimin giggled.

Not even five minutes passed and Hoseok decided he didn’t want to wait either. Everyone packed inside the room he used to shoot videos. The white wall from before had a light pink backdrop on it, fitting the more eventful video. In one corner of the room there was a large suitcase and a makeup kit set up on the table in front of the lights. Seokjin opened the suitcase and took out a cream feather boa and drapped it around his shoulders.

“I’m ready.” The oldest posed and Taehyung clapped at his shenanigans.

Hoseok was looking over his camera. “Sit down and let’s start, Miss Worldwide.”

The rest of the group stood behind the camera and Jungkook was appointed as Hoseok’s temporary camera man. “I’m ready when you are.” He was given a thumbs up and he pushed the record button.

“I’m your hope! You’re my hope! Welcome to Hope World!“ He once again held the rainbow microphone as he spoke. “Next week starts off a new segment on the channel and today’s video is a fun sneak peek! Here I have with me an up and coming Drag Queen in the area, Miss Worldwide.”

Seokjin bowed to the camera. “I’m Seokjin aka the beautiful Miss Worldwide. Thank you for having me.”

“So I noticed you’re not in Drag today.”

“Oh no, I’m giving _you_ the Drag look today. And even though I’m talented with makeup I didn’t want to outshine you by being in Drag too.” He smirked and everyone in the room tried not to snicker.

“I think you’d outshine me no matter what, you’re handsome out of drag too!”

“Thank you, Hobi.” He flipped his feather boa around his neck and Hoseok almost burst out laughing at the flamboyant action.

“So today you’re doing me the favor of transforming me into a Drag Queen. You brought a lot of stuff so I’m excited to see the outcome.”

“You won’t even be able to recognize yourself once I’m done with you.”

Seokjin showed the eyeshadow palette he was using for the look and he started the base of Hoseok’s makeup. He explained step by step the process of how he gets ready for every show. Hoseok got scared when Seokjin pulled out a glue stick and said he’d be using it on his eyebrows.

“My eyebrow hair is thin what if it gets ripped out?” He shrieked.

Jungkook had to cover his mouth in order not to laugh. Seokjin reassured him that his poor eyebrows would be fine. After the glue dried they were covered thick with powder and foundation. Hoseok demanded to see what he currently looked like and nobody could contain their laugher as Hoseok screamed at his reflection.

“I look like Lord Voldemort!”

“Don’t worry I’m gonna paint you a face now. Lord Voldemort wished I painted his face.”

Seokjin took a lot of time on the eyes first. He used five different shades of blue and green and last but not least, silver glitter. He drew a sharp dramatic winged eye and then he drew in the eyebrows. After he used bronzer to contour his nose, on his temples and under his cheekbones. He finished off with a dark nude lipstick. Seokjin looked at his creation with pride.

“You look amazing and I didn’t even put your wig on yet.”

Everyone left the room for Hoseok to change his outfit, with Seokjin’s help of course. After what felt like hours of waiting Seokjin opened the door and welcomed everyone back inside. The camera was moved a bit farther away so it had an wide shot of Hoseok. He stood with his back to the camera as Seokjin situated a mirror for Hoseok to see himself in.

“Ready?” Seokjin asked.

“Hell yeah!”

“One two three, turn!”

Everyone yelled and gasped, Hoseok included. His wig was a sleak black bob. His dress was a sparkly bodycon dress that clung to his foam padded curves. Minghao was cheering and started a chant.

“Miss Hobi! Miss Hobi!”

The rest of the group joined in and afterwards Seokjin said he liked the name and that it fit for his Drag daughter. Miss Hobi posed in front of the camera and Seokjin even joined in at the end. They filmed the outro and finally filming was over. Filming took three hours and they were all exhausted.

Everyone went back to the living room and after a bit more talking amongst themselves, Yoohyeon and Handong left first, both working early the next morning. Not long after Mingyu and Minghao left and Jimin went with them on the subway, even though Namjoon offered to drive them. Taehyung and Yoongi left next, planning to go clubbing because Taehyung wanted to dance and Yoongi couldn’t say no. The excitement died down and Seokjin began packing things away. Jungkook helped his Hyung clean up as Namjoon helped Hoseok take selfies to put on social media later.

As he opened up the suitcase to place the feather boa inside he saw a black wavy wig with bangs and felt the urge to pick it up. He held up the wig and wondered if he could pull it off.

“You’d look cute in that.” Seokjin said behind him.

Jungkook turned around surprised. “O-oh uh really?”

“Definitely. I’d picture you in a more soft and pretty Drag though. Something with lighter makeup and a nice lipgloss.”

Jungkook nodded. “Basically, the opposite of Hoseok Hyung’s look.”

The oldest boy laughed. “Yeah.” He stared at Jungkook for a moment then pointed to the wig. “You want a quick makeover?”

“W-what? Now?”

“Sure. I could do you up in under fifteen minutes. I won’t do foundation or glue your brows down.” He giggled. “We could surprise Hoseok and Joon with it.”

Jungkook kind of wanted to see the look on Namjoon’s face so without much thought he agreed. Seokjin had him sit down and he started off with the eyes. He used warm pinks and added a thick coat of mascara and decided against a cat eye. He added blush and shaped his face with some bronzer. Just like Seokjin suggested, he used a simple pink lipgloss on his lips. Once his face was done the wig was put on and he already felt pretty without seeing his reflection yet.

“It came out so nice.” Seokjin clapped gleefully.

“What did?” Namjoon’s voice came from the door.

Jungkook turned to look at the older boy and saw the look of utter shock on his face. He couldn’t help but smile as Namjoon’s mouth gapped open.

“Doesn’t he look pretty?” Seokjin beamed.

“You look pretty.” He instantly replied and Jungkook blushed.

“You’re bisexual is showing, Namjoon.” The oldest boy teased.

Namjoon looked flustered and tried not to look at Jungkook to make it worse. Seokjin laughed and asked if Hoseok was done with taking pictures.

“Yeah but he’s totally lost on how to get out of that outfit.”

“Hmm guess he needs my help.” Seokjin walked out and left the two alone.

Namjoon desperately tried not to make eye contact with the younger boy as he lingered near the door. “So, did Seokjin suddenly start doing your makeup?”

“Well, I saw this wig.” He pulled on a strand of the loose curls. “And I don’t know, he said I’d look good in it so it just kinda happened.” He chuckled. “Oh wait.” He realized. “I haven’t even seen how I look yet.”

“Uhh oh, here’s a mirror.” Namjoon walked over to a shelf and grabbed a mirror on a stand. “Here.”

Jungkook took the mirror and gasped at his reflection. “Wow. He did a really good job in only fifteen minutes.” He moved the bangs to the side and smiled.

“Yeah.”

Namjoon was much closer than he was before and they locked eyes as soon as Jungkook lowered the mirror. The older boy’s stare was intense and he felt his heart begin to race the longer they stared into each other’s eyes. Namjoon glanced down and just like a week ago, he caught him stare at his lips. But the difference from before was he kept the stare and Jungkook parted his lips on instinct. He held his breath without realizing it when Namjoon took a step towards him. The older boy glanced back and forth between his eyes and lips and Jungkook was dying with anticipation. Unexpectedly Namjoon softly grabbed the younger boy’s chin and he stilled. He let out a shaky breath and felt Namjoon’s thumb rub the corner of his bottom lip.

“Lipgloss looks really good on you.”

He leaned in slightly and Jungkook didn’t know how to respond, so he didn’t. Instead he stared back at Namjoon but this time at his lips as well. That action somehow made Namjoon snap out of whatever trance he was in and he quickly removed his hand from Jungkook’s face.

“So, uh we should head back now. You’ve got classes early again.” He stepped back and forced a smile. “I’ll meet you at the door.”

Namjoon left immediately and Jungkook was left hanging and discombobulated. Jungkook didn’t imagine the look of desire on the older boy’s face did he? He let out a heavy breath and staggered a bit as he walked to set the mirror down. Jungkook pulled off the wig and ran his hands through his hair to bring it back to it’s shape. He took makeup remover wipes that were on the table and scrubbed his face with it until his skin turned red. The mascara was a bit more stubborn coming off so he moved on to his lips. Before he rubbed the lipgloss off he looked in the mirror once again. He looked at himself frustrated and bit his bottom lip as his brows furrowed. Why did Namjoon stop? He glided the remover wipe over his lips and stared at the matte texture he was used to.

“Hyung.” He said to himself. “Why did you stop?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Ten million won rounds up to about $9,300 USD


	21. I'll Stop Running

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Real kisses and advice from someone unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3,023 hits and 234 kudos TT u TT Thank you all ❤❤❤❤❤
> 
> I really appreciate your comments as well! I love hearing your thoughts on the story so keep the comments coming ^ 3 ^

Namjoon was a bit distant for the rest of the night but in the morning it was as if it never happened. The older boy sweetly made him coffee and toast for breakfast and made light conversation with him before he drove him to college. Jungkook wondered if the moment from last night was actually some kind of wild fever dream but he clearly remembered the touch of Namjoon’s hand on his chin, a feeling too real to only be a dream. Namjoon said goodbye to him like normal before he drove off and Jungkook knew his day was going to be a long one.

It _was_ a long day. The lectures all felt dragged out and boring and he knew he wouldn’t be able to retain any of the information. He ate lunch alone since Minghao and Mingyu had already made plans to eat off campus and Jimin was at work. It was a day where only his thoughts were his companion and god, what a terrible companion it was. He made a list of theories for why Namjoon didn’t kiss him and he nearly drove himself crazy.

 

  1. **He really does think of me as a brother**
  2. **Maybe I looked like a girl he currently likes but he stopped himself once he realized he was about to kiss me**
  3. **Was my breath bad?**
  4. **He said he never told past lovers about his past and since I already know…**
  5. **Maybe I’m not his type?**



 

Instead of taking notes his notebook was filled with the continuing list of what ifs. After a long time of zoning out in his last class of the day he got a sudden text.

 

**Unknown Number**

sent 1:57pm

_Hey this is Yoongi. I got ur number from TaeTae. I’m with Namjoon right now and bc I know the idiot so well I know something is up. What happened?_

 

**Me**

1:58pm

_Idek how to explain it???? I guess in short, we almost kissed. But he’s acting like it never happened._

 

**Yoongi Hyung**

2:00pm

_Well, shit. Do you want me to talk to him about it? He’s been single for awhile (on purpose) so he sucks with romance and love._

 

**Me**

sent 2:01pm

_Maybe? I’m kinda lost._

 

**Yoongi Hyung**

sent 2:03pm

_We’re going out to a late lunch so I’ll talk with him then. I’ll text you later._

 

**Me**

sent 2:05pm

_Thanks Hyung_

 

He wasn’t sure if having Yoongi talk with Namjoon was the best idea but he was scared to talk to him himself. He grew too confident thinking their feelings were mutual, all his friends telling him the older boy had a thing for him contributed to that. But Namjoon pulling away the way he did crushed him. Everything he built up in his head, all the expectations he tried not to have but still had amounted to nothing. It felt like he was back to the day Namjoon told him he was like a little brother to him.

Jungkook hadn’t talked to anyone about the almost kiss, Yoongi being the first to know. He knew that he needed to talk with Jimin because his friend always knew what to do. He desperately needed some guidance before he went into full swing panic mode. He and Jimin had already made plans to meet after his class and the younger boy watched the clock willing it to move faster.

Jungkook jumped from his chair the second class was over. They were meeting at the café they meet at before and Jungkook frowned when he passed the shop where he bought the koala keychain. He looked at his backpack and saw the cute plastic bear dangle from his bag and now wished his past self didn’t buy it so impulsively.

Jimin was waiting inside for him with two coffee cups on the table. Jungkook was so mentally exhausted that the second he sat down his he let his head fall to the table and he moaned out in annoyance.

“Damn. Why the dramatics?”

“Today has been a long day and Namjoon and I almost kissed last night.” He said without lifting his head.

“Jeon Jungkook you better look at when you deliver that kind of information.”

Jungkook lifted his head and saw Jimin look like a mix between giddy and worried. “Sorry but, it just sucks right now.”

“Explain.”

“Seokjin Hyung did my makeup after you guys left. I had a wig on too. Namjoon said I looked good in lipgloss and then we almost kissed.” He sighed. “He acted weird before we went to bed but in the morning it was back to normal.”

“Hmm. I’m going to tell you what I told Minghao when he had issues with Mingyu. Just talk to him.”

“But _how_?” 

“You can ease into it. Namjoon Hyung obviously seems cautious, you just need to find out why. Honestly just hang out with him and be casual so he doesn’t shut you out immediately.”

Jungkook nodded. “Alright.” He sipped on his neglected coffee and welcomed the warmth.

“Anyways, you know him way more than I do so just believe your own judgment.”

“Ok.”

They talked in the café for almost an hour and he felt less tense after Jimin had to go to dance practice. Jungkook was definitely nervous to go back to the apartment and see Namjoon but he had to see him at some point in the day. He had just reached the apartment building when he got a text from Yoongi.

 

**Yoongi Hyung**

sent 4:59pm

_Hey. I talked with him and he didn’t say much of anything. I’ve never seen him so stubborn.. Sorry I couldn’t help._

 

**Me**

sent 5:01pm

_It’s ok. Thanks for trying._

 

**Yoongi Hyung**

sent 5:04pm

_He’s at the studio rn. Maybe hanging out in the studio with him would be good? He’s always the most relaxed there._

 

Yoongi gave him the passcode and told him good luck. Jungkook thought on it. Would he be disturbing Namjoon at the studio if he randomly showed up? The last thing he wanted to do was come off as rude. But he knew if he sat at the apartment instead he’d sit with his toxic thoughts again and he couldn’t handle any more of that. He turned around and walked to the studio.

After a ten minute walk he arrived but lingered near the entrance. He stared at the door for a few moments trying build up the courage to walk inside. He took in a deep breath and opened the door and walked through. The long hallway looked more intimidating as he stood there alone but he continued to walk on knowing he’d be there all day otherwise. He pulled out his phone once he was at the door and looked at the text from Yoongi. He knocked first and got no answer so he pushed in the code and the door clicked open.

Namjoon was seated in the center with headphones on and his eyes closed. Jungkook smiled, happy to see the older boy in such a peaceful state. A few moments later Namjoon opened his eyes and stared at the younger boy in surprise.

He lowered his headphones. “How did you get in?” He sputtered.

“Ah, Yoongi Hyung gave me the passcode. Surprise.” He awkwardly smiled.

“Oh.”

“So are you not banned from working now?” He still stood near the door.

“No, this isn’t work. I just missed being in the studio.”

Jungkook nodded and walked over to Yoongi’s chair and sat in it once he removed the pillow. “So you’re not making any beats?”

Namjoon stared at him dumbly for a second before he shook he head. “I can’t help myself so I put a few things together.”

Jungkook noticed an over used notebook sitting next to the keyboard and saw words scribbled all over it, words in both Korean and English. He read the words, _I wish love was as perfect as love itself_. Namjoon noticed him looking in the book’s direction and he quickly closed it and set it away from the keyboard. Jungkook tried not to take it personally but felt that Namjoon was obviously hiding himself from Jungkook again.

“Is it for your mixtape?” He tried to act natural.

“I’m not really sure. It’s a little different from other stuff I’ve done before.”

“That’s cool though, ya know, experimenting.”

“Yeah. I’m using guitar samples and some synths I don’t usually use, so it’s been fun.” Namjoon seemed a bit more comfortable in the conversation.

“I want to hear it when it’s finished.” He smiled at the older boy.

“Of course.” He smiled back.

“Speaking of your mixtape, when do you want me to photograph you?”

“Hm. I’m not finished with it yet so probably after I’m done. I’ll have you listen to it so you can get a feeling for it. You get all creative control on it because I have no idea what I want it to look like.”

“Wow. Full creative control? What if I put you in a tub full of raw rice?”

“Honestly? That sounds great.” He laughed.

“Just you wait, if I get _tub full of rice_ vibes while listening to it you can’t back down.” Jungkook smirked.

“I trust your judgement.”

Jungkook immediately thought back to what Jimin told him, to trust his judgement. He watched as Namjoon unplugged his headphones and wondered how he could talk to the older boy subtlety. Namjoon opened up an entirely new file and it was empty. He watched as he went through different sounding synths and pitches and he played random notes on the keyboard.

“Let’s make something from scratch. We need a theme.”

“A theme?”

“Yeah. What do we want this to be about, and don’t say a tub full of raw rice.” He raised an eyebrow.

Jungkook let out a laugh. “Alright.”

A theme, huh? What could Jungkook possibly want to sing a song about? He didn’t feel like he had much to give in terms of a theme for a song. His life revolved around college, friends and his messy feelings for Namjoon. And to be honest all he could think about was their almost kiss.

“Uh.” He got an idea. “Real first kiss?”

Namjoon looked a bit shocked at the idea. “What do you mean by _real_?”

“Well, like a person could have kissed many people in their life but has never felt something real. They are waiting for that person to have their real first kiss with.”

Jungkook was completely speaking from his own experiences. He had kissed many girls in the past but he had been waiting for something real all this time. And he couldn’t deny that he wanted it to be with Namjoon but he wouldn’t elaborate on that fact.

Namjoon stared blankly at the computer screen in front of him. “I think I get that.”

“Have you had yours?”

“Oh uh, I’m not sure. I definitely thought I had in the past but I’m not entirely convinced. What about you?”

“No I haven’t but I’d like to.”

Namjoon’s eyes shifted toward him and locked on his hesitatingly. Jungkook sat up slightly in his seat and watched the older boy’s eyes wander and land on his lips. It felt like they went back to the exact moment from the night before. His breathing stifled as he watched Namjoon adjust in his seat and turn the chair towards him. There was a look of determination in his eyes and it made Jungkook sweat by the sheer intensity. It was so quiet and he was so tired of waiting, he waited since the age of fifteen. He was done with that.

“Kiss me.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened at the command but he did just what Jungkook asked and he felt their lips collide. His breath was literally taken away as Namjoon pressed his lips to his and his eyes immediately closed. The older boy’s hand slid up his neck and held the side of his face as Namjoon moved his lips against his, opening his mouth to let them kiss deeply. His whole body shivered as he could feel Namjoon’s hot breath against his mouth and he wondered if this was what heaven felt like. Jungkook could feel Namjoon’s tongue barely touch his bottom lip and a low moan escaped him. But only a second later the warmth was gone. He opened his eyes and Namjoon’s expression confused him. They panted heavily before either of them spoke, half of Namjoon’s face now hidden behind his hand.

“Why’d you stop?” He asked desperate.

“I’m.. sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

Namjoon became tongue-tied but overall couldn’t give a solid reason why.

“Does my breath stink?” He asked seriously.

“What? No.”

“Then, do you have a girl you like?”

“Uh no.” He said perplexed.

“Do you think I’m ugly?”

“What are you even saying? No, you’re not ugly.”

“Then _what_ is it?” Jungkook’s voice strained.

“I’m.. just. I’m sorry.”

“Hyung.” He pleaded. “This isn’t fair. Why won’t you talk? Are you attracted to me?”

Namjoon’s eyes bulged. “I don’t.. I don’t want a relationship.” He said without much conviction.

“You didn’t answer the question!” Jungkook became frustrated.

“Jungkookie..”

“Why won’t you actually talk to me?”

“This was all a mistake.” Namjoon said calmly.

“H-huh?”

“I.. I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t have kissed.”

Jungkook feel his heart crush inside his chest. Namjoon broke their eye contact and stared right back at the computer screen again. Before he could stop it, tears began to fall down his cheeks as he felt himself unravel at the seams. He stood up and grabbed his bag and headed for the door to escape the room that now started to feel small.

“Jungkook.” Namjoon’s hand grabbed his wrist, his voice filled with guilt. The older boy’s eyes widened again as he saw the tears on Jungkook’s face.

“Let go.” He said harshly.

Jungkook turned his face away, staring directly at the door in front of him instead. The older boy let go of his hand in silence and Jungkook couldn’t get out the studio fast enough. He ran. He ran as fast as he could. The wind was cold against his face as he ran down the sidewalk. People stared but he ignored the looks, too lost in his own frustration. Jungkook knew now, he _knew_ that Namjoon feels something for him. It was so obvious in how passionately yet sweetly the older boy kissed him. But Namjoon wouldn’t let him in and it felt like a slap in the face. They had shared so much with each other already but now everything came to a screeching halt.

Jungkook was exhausted as he stood at a bus stop, he ran many blocks until his legs began to feel like noodles. He figured he’d go to his actual apartment and stay with Jimin for the night. He wasn’t sure about how he’d go to his classes since all his text books were at Namjoon’s but he’d worry about that later. Jungkook was so focused on himself that he hadn’t noticed a high schooler at the bus stop giving him a judging look. He glared at the girl in hopes she’d look away but instead the girl spoke.

“You look like crap.”

“Thanks. I _feel_ like crap.” 

“Are you training for something?”

“Ha, I wish. No, this is related to my love life.” He laughed sadly.

“So you’re running around the city crying because of a girl?”

Jungkook pictured how he must’ve looked running all those blocks and it actually made him chuckle. “A boy actually, but yeah.”

The high school girl nodded. Jungkook was surprised she didn’t give him another judging look. “Maybe don’t run away from your problems.”

“What?” He raised an eyebrow at the kid.

The girl shrugged. “If you really like him you shouldn’t run away.”

Jungkook looked at the young girl stunned and was too flustered to say something back. They sat at the bus stop quietly for the next ten minutes and Jungkook tried to figure out what he wanted to do. Was he running away? Not just physically but mentally? Hasn’t he been since day one? That was kind of Jungkook’s thing, running away. He’d gotten better over the years but at the core if something was just too much he’d be right out the door. Even in the recent times that he had more courage to face Namjoon there was always a part of him anticipating the worst. What he anticipated had now happened but he never planned a next step. Or maybe he had always planned to run away once things went south. But it’s second nature to run when you get hurt, right? Only now he wondered if doing so made it worse.

The bus arrived and the girl turned around as she was boarding it. “You coming?”

Jungkook shook his head, finally making a decision. “No. I’ll stop running now.”

The girl smiled. “Good.”

The bus doors closed and he watched it drive away. Jungkook knew he couldn’t blame Namjoon solely for everything. The older boy wouldn’t talk to him but Jungkook running away won’t help either of them. Jimin always talked about the importance of communication but it’s hard to do in real life. But the last thing he wanted was to lose Namjoon. It would be so stupid to throw it all away because they couldn’t talk things out. Jungkook didn’t want that to happen so he walked back to the studio in hopes that the older boy was still there.

He typed in the passcode but opened the door to an empty and dark room. He closed the door and sighed. Jungkook took out his phone to text the older boy to find out where he had gone but was surprised to see missed texts.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 5:44pm

_I’m so sorry. I always fuck everything up._

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 5:47pm

_Are you ok? Are you not coming back to the apartment?_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 5:52pm

_If you need time away it’s ok. Just let me know that you’ve arrived safely._

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 5:59pm

_I’m really sorry Jungkookie. I’ll be at the apartment if you need any of your stuff._

 

Jungkook left the building and ran, this time for an entirely different reason. The apartment was close by but his feet couldn’t carry him fast enough. The sun was setting and it felt even colder now that the sun was leaving the sky. It was beautiful but he didn’t pay much attention to it, fixated on getting to Namjoon as quickly as he could. He could finally see the apartment complex in the distance and he sprinted. Jungkook leaned against the building to catch his breath before he went inside, moving his bangs to wipe away the sweat. After a dozen deep breaths he quickly went inside and up the elevator. Once on Namjoon’s floor he stood in front of the door and felt his nerves begin to build. This was it. He knew at this point he’d have to spell it out to Namjoon about his feelings and now that it was time, he was scared. But he was more scared of losing what he had with the older boy. So he took out the spare key Namjoon made him and unlocked the door.

Namjoon was sitting on the velvet couch when he opened the door. He stood up the moment he saw Jungkook at the door, his face a mix of emotions.

“Jungkookie..”

Namjoon’s eyes were puffy and the tip of his nose was red, he’d been crying. Jungkook’s face scrunched and he frowned knowing he wasn’t the only one who cried.

“Hyung.”

Jungkook closed the distance between them and hugged Namjoon. The older boy didn’t hesitate to hold him back and they swayed back and forth as they embraced. Namjoon softly pet his hair and whispered over and over again that he was sorry. They held each other for awhile before Jungkook pulled away. He looked at Namjoon with a confident stare.

“I like you.”

The older boy’s face was tinted pink and he bit his bottom lip nervously.

“Hyung.” He placed his hands on Namjoon’s chest and stepped closer to him again. “What about you?”

“I..” He barely breathed out then shut his lips again. He stared at Jungkook’s big doe eyes and shook his head. “You deserve better than me.” He shifted his eyes.

Jungkook’s brows furrowed. “No.” He grabbed either side of Namjoon’s face with his hands and made him look at him directly. “I don’t want anyone else, I want _you_.”

“B-but I always fuck relationships up.”

“That’s the past. I’m not the people you dated back then.”

“Jungkookie, you already got hurt because of me and I have too much baggage-”

“Stop. None of it is your fault. I know your past and I’m still here, alright? I’m not going anywhere.”

Namjoon began to tear up as he stroked the side of Jungkook’s face. “I’m just… I’m scared. I like you so much it’s scary, Jungkookie. I don’t want anything else to happen to you so I thought it was better if we stayed friends.”

Jungkook couldn’t help the smile that surfaced when Namjoon said he liked him out loud. “Hyung, that logic doesn’t even makes sense. We were friends when we were out and I got hurt so what does it matter if we actually dated?”

Namjoon looked up to the ceiling as he thought to himself and then slowly nodded. “You’re right…”

“See?” He pinched the older boy’s cheek and Namjoon swatted his hand away as he smiled. “Also how long have you been using that as an excuse?”

“Since you got hurt. But I thought about it beforehand.”

Jungkook shook his head. “Hyung we’re both stupid.”

Namjoon raised an eyebrow. “How are _you_ stupid?”

“I should’ve just told you I liked you, like, a month ago.”

“Well, I know now.” He smiled.

“Yeah.” He said as his hands slid down to Namjoon’s chest again. “Did you.. ever have an inkling?”

The older boy’s arms now dangled around Jungkook’s waist. “It was wishful thinking. Sometimes when you seemed extra nervous I thought it might just be because you’re shy.”

“No I was definitely gaying out over you.”

Namjoon laughed. “Gaying out, huh?”

“Yes, it’s a verb.” He giggled.

The older boy looked at him fondly and pulled him close and softly kissed his nose. “You’re so cute.”

Jungkook’s cheeks became red and he hid his face in Namjoon’s neck in embarrassment. “Don’t just attack me like that.” His voice muffled against the fabric of the older boy’s sweatshirt.

“Sorry.” He chuckled.

His body vibrated against Namjoon’s chuckle and it felt so comforting. Jungkook twitched as he suddenly felt the older boy’s hands slip into his, even though it was awkward to hold hands with his left in the cast. He lifted his head and they smiled at each other. Namjoon lead him to the couch where they finally sat down, their hands still clasped.

“Now what?” Jungkook sighed.

“I don’t know, I guess we’re dating now.” He shrugged with a smile.

He looked at Namjoon with a wide smile then snuggled against him. “Guess so.”

They sat on the couch in comfortable silence for awhile until Namjoon’s stomach growled loud enough for both of them to hear. Jungkook laughed as the older looked embarrassed then suggested they eat dinner. Both were too tired to go out or cook something at home so they ordered some Korean food to be delivered. The younger boy hadn’t realized how hungry he was himself until he smelled the tteokbokki when it was delivered. The kimbap was neglected and Jungkook ate up the spicy rice cakes. Without noticing Namjoon watched the boy with a sweet smile on his face. Jungkook guzzled some water then saw the older boy watching him from across the small table.

“What?”

“Nothing just, the spices made your lips red and it looks like you’re wearing lipstick.”

“Oh.” He laughed. “Does it look funny?”

“No, it’s cute.”

“The lipgloss and now this.. you’re a bit obsessed, Hyung.”

“You just look good with lipgloss is all.” He ate some kimbap and smirked.

“Maybe I should get myself some lipgloss then.” He eyed the older boy.

“Don’t, I’ll probably wanna kiss you all the time.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing.” He flirted.

Jungkook knew they were going ham on the flirting but it was something he’d never done so openly before. It was exhilarating and a totally different side of the both of them that he wanted to explore. They continued on with their stupidly sweet stares and gross flirting over dinner until all the food was gone.

For the next few hours they lounged around the apartment and stuck to each other like glue. It was the kind of closeness that could be suffocating later in the relationship but early on it wasn’t close enough. He had never thought he’d be the clingy type but he played with Namjoon’s hand as he sat so close to the older boy he might as well have been sitting in his lap. Namjoon read a book while Jungkook found himself starting to dose off. He checked his phone and saw it was a quarter to 12am and he poked Namjoon’s dimple to get his attention.

“Need something?” He placed the bookmark inside and shut it.

“I’m getting sleepy. Let’s go to bed.”

“Alright go ahead.”

“You’re coming with me.” He stood up and pulled the older boy with him.

“O-oh um o-ok just like me change into my pajamas.”

“I’ll change into mine too.”

They changed in separate rooms, way too shy to do anything like that in the same room just yet. Namjoon shut off all the lights in the apartment and they climbed into bed together. Jungkook at first layed on his back but saw Namjoon looking at him while on his side. He adjusted himself and faced his back to the older boy so he was the little spoon. Immediately Namjoon swung an arm over him and pulled him close. He felt so safe being held in Namjoon’s warm bed and soon his eyelids became heavy and the last thing he remembered before he fell asleep was Namjoon kissing him behind his ear and whispering, _Goodnight_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After 21 chapters Jungkook and Namjoon finally got their shit together. *dramatically claps*


	22. Congratulations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning cuddles and a new start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I decided to get a tumblr! 
> 
> Feel free to follow me ^^
> 
> https://atragicgay.tumblr.com

Jungkook felt something heavy on him as he woke up. He blinked his eyes open and the room was lit up from the morning sun and he wondered what the time was. He looked down and saw Namjoon’s arm was still draped over his waist and he smiled.

“So, it wasn’t a dream.” He whispered to himself.

Namjoon stirred in his sleep beside him and nuzzled his head against the back of Jungkook’s neck. The older boy’s nose tickled him as he breathed and he tried not to move so he wouldn’t wake him up. He carefully pushed the blanket off his shoulder, becoming too hot from the combination of the morning sun and Namjoon’s warmth. Jungkook wanted to see the older boy’s sleeping face so he slowly turned his head but had to abort the mission because the angle hurt his neck. Instead he placed his hand over Namjoon’s, still an awkward position but he didn’t care. Namjoon chuckled behind his ear and he flinched at the sudden laugh.

“Why are you so cute?”

His voice was groggy and low from sleep and Jungkook swore it was the sexiest thing he’d ever head. Namjoon slid his hand up and against his chest and pulled the younger boy as close as possible. When he swung a leg over him Jungkook laughed.

“Are you cocooning me?” He playfully hit Namjoon’s leg.

“I guess.” He leaned on his elbow and looked at the boy sweetly for a moment. “I thought it was a dream too.”

Jungkook layed on his back to look at Namjoon properly. “You heard that?” He blushed.

“I’ve been awake for awhile but didn’t want to get up yet.”

He covered his face with his hands embarrassed that he was heard. Namjoon laughed and moved his hands away and they stared at each other, a bit lost in each other’s gaze. Jungkook began to feel his heart beat faster as the older boy leaned slightly on top of him. Namjoon looked so handsome even after sleeping and having bedhead and Jungkook thought it wasn’t fair.

“Ya know what?” Namjoon broke the silence.

“What?” He breathed out.

“I’m a little mad at how good you look for just waking up.”

“I was thinking the same thing about you.” He shyly smiled.

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.”

Namjoon’s eyes shifted and Jungkook knew he was flustered. They locked eyes again and Jungkook couldn’t restrain himself any longer so he lifted his head and gave Namjoon a peck on the lips.

“That’s a good morning kiss.” He said smoothly.

Namjoon froze for a moment but melted into a glowing smile, dimples and all. “Good morning.”

He returned the favor but instead of a peck on the lips he kissed him with more intent. The kiss wasn’t deep but felt just as passionate. Jungkook held the back of Namjoon’s neck to pull him closer and the older boy soon littered his face with tender kisses. He giggled as they began to tickle and Namjoon pulled away to smile at the younger boy.

“Ticklish?”

“A bit.”

They both finally sat up but still stayed wrapped in the blanket around them. Jungkook now had the view of the clock in sight and read that it was ten in the morning. No wonder he felt so well rested. Namjoon glanced at the clock as well and looked back to Jungkook.

“No classes today, right?”

“I’m completely free.”

“You have anything you want to do?”

“I thought I’d visit the bookstore. I haven’t been there since last month.”

“I’ll come with you. I need some books to read anyway.”

They slowly got out of bed and Namjoon made coffee as Jungkook cooked up breakfast. The kitchen was too small for them to be in there at the same time but having Namjoon so close made him happy. Even with the tight space they only had one instance where the older boy almost dropped something, Jungkook luckily caught the cup before it became a mess on the floor.

After their pleasant breakfast they got ready. Jungkook showered first as Namjoon cleaned up around the apartment and then he showered afterwards. It was a sunny day so the cold wasn’t as harsh as autumn had already began. Jungkook hadn’t realized how much time had passed, it was now the first week of November. They skipped Halloween activities this year because of everything that had gone on but now that he looked at the calendar on his phone he wondered where all the time went. It was back in July when he found out Namjoon’s name for the first time and it seemed so long ago. His life used to be so bland and uneventful but more things had happened these past months than in the entirety of his life. Some of those things bad of course but having Namjoon in his life had brought so much more good.

He watched as Namjoon pulled on a jacket and walked toward the door holding a beanie. He was surprised when the older boy slid the beanie on his head instead, positioning it and fixing his bangs underneath afterwards.

“You still need to grab a coat from your apartment, otherwise you’re gonna freeze when the temperature randomly decides to drop.”

“I’ll do that today so you’ll stop nagging me.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide his smile. They teased each other as they left the building and got inside the older boy’s car to drive to the used bookstore. It was strange seeing the place he worked at without having to actually work a shift. He had never gone there if it wasn’t for work, even though he loved it and knew he would’ve been a returning customer if he didn’t already work there. Namjoon hadn't brought any books to donate this time so they walked in together and went straight to the shelves. A girl he sometimes worked shifts with greeted them and there was no sign of Seokjin. He wondered if he happened to have the day off, same with Yoohyeon since she obviously wasn’t working the cash register.

A bit disappointed that their friends weren’t there he went to the fiction section and scanned the books. Namjoon was on the other side of the shelf and they made silly faces at each other through some of the gaps between the books. He’d found a couple promising books after they searched for a bit but he was interrupted by Namjoon continuously tapping on the shelf to get his attention.

“What?” He whispered through the shelf.

The older boy moved a few books to get a better view of Jungkook. “Remember last time we were standing like this?”

Jungkook thought back to the day they organized the books that were donated. “Yeah, the day you tripped over the cart.” He smirked and tried not to laugh.

Namjoon looked embarrassed. “Thanks for bringing that part up.” He said sarcastically.

“It was a great moment.”

“I was talking more about the conversation we had. Ya know, about if you’d kiss someone behind these bookshelves.”

“Yeah.” He gulped.

“And you said maybe with a boy.” He paused. “Does that still stand?”

Jungkook kept their eye contact. “Yeah, just one boy in particular.”

“Do I know him?” Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

“Very well.”

Namjoon disappeared from the gap of books in the shelf but soon he stood in the aisle with Jungkook. He grabbed his hand and lead the younger boy towards the back of the store, closer to the break room entrance and more private. They were in the autobiography section which was usually neglected by most customers. Namjoon pressed Jungkook against the shelf and he held the two books he previously picked out to his chest with the arm in the cast. He could feel the books sliding but Namjoon soon pressed against him and their lips crashed together. Jungkook closed his eyes and grabbed the fabric on the older boy’s shirt with his free hand. Their kiss barely lasted a second before someone cleared their throat behind them. Namjoon pulled away and Jungkook dropped the books as Seokjin and Yoohyeon stood before them.

“Fucking. _Finally_.” Seokjin sighed.

“I can’t believe you came here when you’re off work to make out behind the shelves. It’s like a high school student’s fantasy.” Yoohyeon giggled.

Jungkook felt his face become hot from embarrassment. Namjoon quickly picked up the books the younger boy dropped and held them with one hand, the other hand slid into Jungkook’s and their fingers laced together. Seokjin saw the act.

“So, you’ve both finally got your shit together.” He nodded to himself. “I’m happy for you.” He gave them a sweet smile.

Namjoon smiled back. “Thank you.”

“I honestly thought it’d take you even longer to notice you liked our Jungkookie here. You and your thick skull.” He poked Namjoon’s temple.

“Ow!” He winced. “I know Hyung, I’m a bit slow.”

“At least he’s self aware.” Yoohyeon shrugged.

Seokjin continued to tease Namjoon and Yoohyeon dragged Jungkook into the break room to quickly catch up.

“So, _that_ happened.” His friend grined.

“Yeah. It still doesn’t feel real to be honest.” He sank down into a chair.

“That kiss looked pretty real to me.”

“I can’t believe you guys saw that.” Jungkook blushed.

“You two looked like animals in heat.”

“ _Yoohyeon_!” He layed his head on the table in utter defeat.

“What? It was shocking to see! The last time I saw you two together you both were so shy and reserved. But now _that_? It’s a night and day difference.” She laughed.

“That’s why it feels like a dream.” He mumbled. “I’ve dreamed about being with him for so long the shock of it is now kind of setting in.”

“I better not see either of you backtrack.“ She pointed her finger at him. “But Seokjin even talked about it with Yoongi and they both agreed that they’d never seen such chemistry between two people before.” Yoohyeon flipped her hair. “I'm surprised me and Handong weren’t mentioned but we’re in a league of our own I suppose.”

Jungkook laughed. “You two _are_ couple goals.”

“You and Namjoon have that potential ya know?”

Jungkook blushed at the thought. It was going to be a challenge to separate the _dream_ of being with Namjoon with the _reality_ of it. He’s not that fifteen year old boy with a big crush anyone. Namjoon likes him back and it’s real.

“Yeah.” He smiled.

They caught up a bit, Yoohyeon had been so busy they hadn’t even texted much. She was originally being trained just for singing but now her company had her start acting classes. It was a lot to handle but she looked happy.

“One thing though,” She paused. “Remember that guy I said rubbed me the wrong way? He hasn’t come in for over a week.”

“Oh, is that bad?”

“Maybe for him but even if I sound like an asshole, I don’t miss seeing him. But it’s weird because he apparently has no family to contact so nobody knows where to look. The higher ups are kinda pissed because him not showing up this long is in breach of his contract. ”

“Damn, so that’s the gossip huh?”

“Yeah, I had a friend fill me in. No juicy details other than that though.”

“If you get more details let me know.”

Their conversation was interrupted by Seokjin and Namjoon.

“Ok ok, chit chat is over! Let’s get back to work. You two lovebirds can leave.” He winked at the new couple.

Yoohyeon followed orders and went to the front to check on the coffee and seating area for any full trash cans. Seokjin waved them off and their visit to the bookstore was over. Jungkook had forgotten about the books he had planned to buy and told Namjoon he’d be right back.

The older boy raised up a bag. “I got them don’t worry.”

“Hyung. _I_ was going to buy them.” He whined.

“I’ll read them too so we’ll share ok?”

“No more buying stuff for me, alright? I’m still overwhelmed by the camera.” Jungkook said narrowing his eyes at the older boy.

“I won’t buy anything else, I promise.“ Namjoon raised his hands up in surrender. “Lunch is on you then?”

“Good and yes. And afterwards I’ll get a jacket from my apartment.”

“Do you want me to drop you off? You can hang out with Jimin while I go talk with Yoongi Hyung?”

Jungkook agreed and they headed off to get some food for lunch. They didn’t stay super long since there was a line behind them and their seats were in demand. After the speedy lunch Namjoon dropped him off in front of his apartment complex, the older boy driving out to see Yoongi at the studio. Jungkook wasn’t 100% sure but he hoped Jimin was actually home, his friend too often now going to practice by himself since Jungkook wasn’t home. He opened the apartment door and was pleased to see Jimin sprawled out on the couch in the living room playing a video game.

“Hyung!” He shouted in hopes of scaring his friend.

Jimin jumped up and dropped the bag of chips in his lap on the floor. As soon as he realized it was Jungkook he sighed out in relief. “Jeon Jungkook you’re gonna kill me one of these days.” He planted himself right back on the couch.

He laughed as he slid off his shoes. “You make it so easy!”

“What are you even doing here?” Jimin folded his arms.

“I’m here to get a jacket. But I also have some news.”

“What _kind_ of news?” His friend became interested.

Jungkook sat down on the couch and grabbed the bag of chips and ate a handful. “Well,” He swallowed his food. “Me and Namjoon Hyung kissed.”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Well, It’s actually been a few times now.” He tried to play it cool but still was flushed.

“WHAT?” Jimin shouted in glee. “I just saw you yesterday, what happened in such a short span of time?” His friend shook his shoulders demanding an answer.

“I hung out with him in the studio and it just kinda happened. He said he didn’t want a relationship at first but we talked and umm cuddled. But yeah, we both said we like each other and I guess we’re dating now.” He ate another chip to distract himself from the stare from Jimin.

“Wow.” Jimin fell back into the couch. “Communication, baby.” He smiled.

“Yup. You get that credit.”

“As I should. But damn, I was worried you two would keep up with the gay silence for a least another four months.”

“Oh god, I would’ve died.”

“It was hard enough being your friend and seeing you so stressed so I could only imagine the torture.”

Jungkook let out a long dragged out sigh. “It was a rollercoaster. But now I think I can finally breathe a little.” He chuckled.

“You deserve it.” He patted the top of Jungkook’s hand. “Both of you actually. I wonder how much of a mess Namjoon Hyung was on the inside, especially living with you.”

“Yeah, it didn’t help when I left the shower once in just a towel. He stubbed his toe after seeing me.” He tried to hide a mischievous smile but Jimin saw it clearly.

“You little demon.” Jimin burst out laughing. “I can’t believe you did that to him!”

“It wasn’t on purpose!” He couldn’t help but laugh himself.

“Oh yeah I believe that.” He said laced with sarcasm. “You know the power you hold. Just admit it, you wanted to see him squirm.”

Jungkook couldn’t deny it. “Ok. I admit it.”

“That poor thing. Namjoon Hyung is gonna be tormented by you.”

“I will _not_ torment him!” He pouted. “He has the upper hand most of the time anyway.”

“Because you’re so damn soft for him, he can literally just breathe and you’d melt.” Jimin said matter of factly.

Jungkook’s eyes shifted and he kept his mouth shut because he knew damn well that Jimin was completely right. He glanced at his friend who once again burst out laughing.

“Wait. So you’re living with your boyfriend.” Jimin gave him a look.

“Yeah…“ He trailed off. “I mean, waking up with him this morning was really nice but I don’t know what the best next move is.”

“Space is needed in relationships. Your parents technically payed for last month’s rent but you already gave your half at the beginning of that month. So, you could still get away with staying with Namjoon Hyung the rest of this month but..” He paused. “Should you?”

“I’ve been there almost two weeks already.“ He thought out loud.

“You should talk with him about it.” Jimin advised.

“I’ll talk to him tonight.”

“Where is he now?”

“At the studio with Yoongi Hyung. He didn’t say what for though.”

“Maybe they're having a conversation like ours? Namjoon Hyung probably telling Yoongi Hyung how you tortured him by showing your abs in just a towel.” His friend giggled.

“You’re not gonna stop with that are you..”

“You never should’ve told me if you weren’t prepared for this.”

“Both you and Yoohyeon won’t let me live.” He pouted.

“She knew about the towel thing before me? I’m hurt.”

“No, she and Seokjin Hyung caught me and Hyung kissing at the bookstore.”

“Already? In public? Are you two animals in heat?”

“Yoohyeon said the same thing.” Jungkook facepalmed.

“Great minds think alike.”

“Apparently.” He deadpanned.

“Get used to the teasing, Jungkookie. It’s not going away any time soon.”

“I know. I haven’t even told Tae yet. Or Mingyu and Minghao. How long will it last?” He whined.

“Honestly? You two are such an easy target I imagine this going on for months.”

“I hate you, in advance.” He grumbled.

“Love ya too!” Jimin teased.

Jungkook’s phone dinged and he checked to see that he got a new text.

 

**Tae**

1:59pm

_I got the news!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yoongi Hyung said he just talked with Hyung and he gushed about you to him ;-) Congratulations it’s been awhile huh? I’m really happy for you kook!!!!_

 

Jungkook smiled at the sweet text and Jimin asked if it was Namjoon.

“No, it’s Tae. Yoongi Hyung told him about everything and he congratulated me.”

“Aw Tae is much nicer than me, he’s not teasing you at all.”

“I don’t imagine that’ll last if you have your way.” He sighed.

“You make me sound like a villain.”

“You have those tendencies under your squishy giggling exterior.” Jungkook side eyed his Hyung.

“Shut up. I’d be the cutest villain.”

“Undeniably.” He laughed.

Jungkook finally got up and into his bedroom to pick out a jacket. He noticed how tidy his room looked and knew Jimin must’ve dusted and swept it. He opened up his closet and saw an array of identical sweatshirts and T-shirts all mostly in white, grey and black. Towards the back of the closet he hung his winter coat. It was high quality and he’d worn it the past couple winters. It was heavy which was why he was so reluctant to bring it the day he packed, and even today. Jungkook decided instead that he’d pick out a bit of a thinner jacket he usually wore in the autumn anyway, Namjoon couldn’t complain as long as he brought _something_ back. The hoodie he wore was thick so the light jacket was just right. He slid on the jacket and closed the closest.

Before leaving his room he saw the perfume Namjoon gave him for his birthday on his dresser. Also on the dresser was a mixed CD he had put together but was too embarrassed to give the older boy. The main reason being he didn’t realize until after the fact but almost all the songs were unrequited love songs and he was scared Namjoon might pick up on it. Jungkook held up the barely used perfume and sprayed it on his right wrist and neck (he accidentally sprayed some on his cast without thinking). He picked up the CD and decided he was ready to give it to the older boy.

Jungkook wasn’t sure how long he was closed off in his room but he was more than surprised to see Namjoon sitting on the couch with Jimin.

“Jungkookie, good, you’re wearing a jacket.” Namjoon said pleased.

“He only got here a couple minutes ago.” Jimin pointed to the older boy beside him.

Jungkook nodded as he saw Namjoon get comfortable on the couch and watched Jimin play the video game. They locked eyes and the older boy patted the seat beside him and Jungkook walked over and sat down. He eventually joined in the game with Jimin and they played a round which lead into another and another. Namjoon cheered for both of them, occasionally favouring Jungkook but after forty minutes Jimin admitted defeat.

“You two are so competitive.” Namjoon stood up to throw away the empty bag of snacks.

“I’ve only gotten worse since meeting him.” Jimin glared at Jungkook. “He’s ruthless.”

“Sorry I’m better than you.” He stuck his tongue out.

Jimin threw a slipper at Jungkook and it hit him in the chest. “Score!”

Namjoon calmly retrieved the slipper and set it on the floor. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t throw things at my boyfriend.” He sat beside Jungkook and swung an arm over the boy’s shoulder.

Jungkook’s face grew red and Jimin laughed as he pointed it out. “Our Jungkookie is gonna explode if you keep talking like that, Hyung.”

“He’ll be fine.”

Jungkook pouted and smacked Namjoon on the thigh and the older boy did the same back except his hand lingered on his inner thigh. Jimin was right, he _was_ going to explode.

Jimin had realized he would be late for his shift and quickly left, the couple being left to their own devices. Namjoon’s hand was still planted on his inner thigh and it was a bit hard to breathe. The older boy leaned back on the couch and sighed.

“I’ll be starting up on work again after tomorrow.”

“Yoongi unbanned you early?”

“Yeah. Mostly because the company we last worked with really liked the song and Yoongi was contacted and told that they want to hire us, _officially_.”

“Hyung! That’s amazing!” He turned to look directly at Namjoon.

“Tomorrow we’re going to do the contract. I’m kinda in shock to be honest.”

“You won’t be freelance anymore. Damn. That’ll be consistent money.”

“I know! That’s the part I’m trying to wrap my head around. And they’re hiring _both_ of us, not just one. It’s a dream come true.”

Jungkook held Namjoon’s hand. “Congratulations.” He smiled tenderly at him.

“Thank you.” Namjoon leaned in a kissed the younger boy on the cheek.

He blushed and squirmed a bit before sinking back into the couch. They held hands quietly until Jungkook remembered that he needed to talk to Namjoon about staying with him.

“So, you’re probably going to be really busy.”

“I won’t neglect you if that’s what you’re worried about.” He looked at Jungkook with a strong stare.

“No, no. That’s not it.”

“Oh.” Namjoon’s expression softened.

“But I do think I should move back here. Two weeks was enough and my cast can handle the bus.”

Namjoon slowly nodded his head. “Alright.”

“I really liked living with you, Hyung. But I don’t want us suffocating each other so early on that we end up getting sick of each other.”

“But I like it. Ya know, that kind of suffocation.”

“Me too..” He paused. “But I want this to last and that means we need time apart sometimes too.”

“I know.” Namjoon sighed. “I’ve just been so spoiled being able to see you all the time I’m gonna miss it.”

“I’ll miss it too.”

“I guess it’ll make seeing each other mean a bit more since it won’t be so constant.“

“That’s true. I hope not as dramatic as people meeting at airports though.” Jungkook smirked.

“Ah, does that mean our trip we wanted to do is cancelled?”

“Not cancelled, just postponed.”

“I guess that gives us time on picking a destination.”

“Anywhere is fine as long as I’m with you.”

“Oh wow, that was cheesy.” Namjoon let out a laugh.

“It’s true.” He shrugged.

“Same here.” He got close to Jungkook and held his chin. “As cheesy as it sounds, I feel exactly the same way.”

They both gazed into each other’s eyes until Namjoon softly kissed Jungkook. It was quick but sweet. Jungkook pulled away and just stared at the beautiful boy in front of him. Namjoon was so handsome and yet the older boy didn’t seem to know. The freckles on his face were like stars and his dimples were the craters on the moon. Namjoon’s eyes sparkled and Jungkook swore he could see the galaxy in them. His lips were like clouds and he thanked the universe that he could kiss those lips every day. But Jungkook now realized, Namjoon _was_ the universe. He was the entire time.


	23. Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving back in and grinding on the dance floor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things! 
> 
> 1) I kinda was embarrassed to mention it but finally added it to the first chapter's notes; I have BOTH dyslexia and dyscalculia. Basically spell check is my life and sometimes my death. If wording or spelling errors are made that's why. And! If ages and timelines don't match up that's why! I try hard to edit each chapter to find mistakes but I know I probably miss things. I hope you understand! (I still feel like this is tmi for me just being a fic writer ?)
> 
> 2) Twitter seems to be more popular so I decided to make one. I haven't been on Twitter in 5 yrs lol. I know. I'm out of the loop.
> 
> https://twitter.com/Atragicgay

In order not to draw it out, Jungkook decided he’d move out right away. It didn’t take long to gather up his things at the older boy’s apartment but he still felt like he was missing something once he was about to leave. He had no choice other than to ignore the feeling. Before walking out the door he left the mix CD on the table for Namjoon to see when he got back, hopefully comforting the moping older boy. Jungkook didn’t want to admit it but seeing Namjoon sulk around the apartment as he packed was extremely cute but also very validating. Namjoon usually tried to hide his feelings but seeing him pouting so visually was a sign of progress and it made him want to stay that much more. But he pushed forward and the older boy kissed him goodbye after dropping him off.

His first night back felt strange. Jimin was surprised to see him already back but agreed it was the right thing to do. It was hard to sleep, especially since the night before they layed in bed together. It was only one night but now his bed felt empty. He cuddled a pillow in hopes it’d trick his brain and he finally fell asleep at three in the morning. He woke up exhausted. And the fact that he had to go back to long bus rides in the morning dampened his mood before he even got to his coffee. Before he left he got a good morning text from Namjoon, he even added a heart emoji. It was a nice pick-me-up before the day started.

Jungkook fell asleep on the bus but was woken up by an old man’s obnoxious sneeze two stops before the college. Once at school he tried to stay alert and diligently take notes during class. It worked for the first class but onwards he was too drowsy to even look at his textbook, the words blurring together every time he yawned (which was a lot). He ate lunch with Jimin and since he had a bit of time, he headed to the art club afterwards.

He wasn’t surprised to see the club room empty when he arrived. Mingyu and Minghao were swamped with work, Minghao helping first years with practice and Mingyu now tutoring during his free time. He wondered if it put a strain on their relationship since they barely had time to be together.

The previous storyboard was taken down and they were working on the next. Minghao had used a few of his and Namjoon’s ideas and it was exciting to see the beginning of it coming together. Mingyu had just got the tutor job the day after Minghao decided to use that idea for the plot, a funny coincidence. Now everyone in the club started jokingly calling Mingyu, Sejun.

 _Real Me_ was now getting an overall positive response. What really changed things was when they started getting a lot of moving comments from people in the LGBT community. Minghao was so touched that they started printing out comments and had started a collage on the wall. Some talked of the discrimination they faced and their hardships while others were simply excited that a story that depicted boys in love was being written and drawn by people actually from the community. Jungkook hadn't thought about it much but he never realized how important that was. It made him proud that he was a part of such a thing and it made him want to create even more.

He looked through notes for the next chapter and templates he and Mingyu had started. He hadn’t had the chance to draw his character as much so far but with the next chapter he would get to draw him on almost every page. Jungkook had really missed the fun of drawing and wanted to get a head start. The next page was supposed to be a close up of Sejun. The character’s hair was usually in his face due to the length but he would finally be able to draw the details of the face. He thought about things that make Sejun, _Sejun._ From the sparse freckles on the nose to the pointed cupid's bow lips, small but important details. He sketched the face and a hand moving the hair away, a bit cliché but it always worked. He zoned out while he contemplated the layout of next panel but was interrupted when the door suddenly opened.

Mingyu dragged Minghao inside and shut the door with a bang. He went in for a heated kiss when he saw Jungkook from the corner of his eye.

“Fuck.” Mingyu breathed out.

“I’m sorry! I can leave!” He shuffled out of his chair.

“Not with that mess on the table.” His friend deadpanned.

Jungkook looked down and hadn’t realized the mess he made, all the scrap paper and test drawings he crumbled covered the table. “Oops.”

Minghao let out a laugh. “Our plan failed.”

“Sure did.” Mingyu sighed.

“I can still leave… after I clean up.” He felt bad that he got in their way.

Minghao walked over and sat on the table across from him. “Nah it’s fine. I told Mingyu coming here to make out when we had only fifteen minutes was a stretch to begin with.” Mingyu frowned at the door but soon sat beside his boyfriend. “Anyways,” He continued. “Jimin might’ve hinted that you got some news?”

“Jimin..” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. I got some news.”

“Well, spit it out!” Mingyu demanded.

“Alright!” He cleared his throat. “So uh, Namjoon Hyung and I are dating now.”

“You’re dating Mr First Love?!”

“Mr First Love?” Minghao squinted his eyes at Mingyu.

“It’s a code name. I made it up myself.” He said proudly.

“You _do_ look extra happy.” Minghao smiled as he ignored his boyfriend.

“I do?”

“Yeah. I can’t put my finger on it but you just seem happy.”

“Wait.. did you..”

“Mingyu shut up!” Jungkook’s face heated up.

Minghao smacked Mingyu in the leg as pay back and the boy whined as he rubbed the spot he was hit. They didn’t talk long but the more people who knew about them the more Jungkook felt giddy. Mingyu teased him but he knew he friend was really happy for him, Minghao as well. Everyone had been rooting for him but it was all changing now. He could finally get to take a step forward and all his friends were there to support him. Jungkook felt so grateful.

After saying goodbye to his friends he cleaned up the mess he made and went to his next class. He surprisingly didn’t feel as tired and was able to take notes and pay attention. He felt accomplished for a short while but it soon left when he thought of the end of semester exams coming up the following month. He distracted himself by buying his favorite coffee after his last class, knowing he’d need the caffeine anyway to work on some assignments.

He headed home to work in some peace and quiet before Jimin came back. He drank the coffee up on the bus ride and threw it out as soon as he got inside. He wished he got an extra large, missing the bitter yet sweet taste already. But he was determined to get a lot done so he took out all his textbooks and worked on each assignment for at least an hour. He was completely glued to the couch until his stomach begged for food. To save on time he made ramen for dinner and slurped it up as he proofread an essay he had just finished writing. He deemed it acceptable and saved the final draft before shutting his laptop. Jungkook collapsed on the couch and let out a long sigh.

“Finally.” He whispered to himself.

He looked at his phone and saw that it was almost seven in the evening and Jimin should've be back from practice by now. He was about to text his friend when he got a text from him.

 

**Jimin Hyung**

sent 6:55pm

_Sorry I didn’t text earlier but I was working on a surprise with Hoseok Hyung. We’re at that gay club that Yoongi Hyung met Seokjin Hyung at and you need to get your ass over here now!_

 

Jungkook asked for more details but Jimin said it’d be easier to _show_ him. He reluctantly changed into a more club friendly outfit (Jimin’s orders) and took a taxi to get there faster. On the ride there he wondered if his outfit wasn’t enough, a black T-shirt and ripped black jeans with boots was the only outfit he had to work with. He did tuck in the shirt to show off his waist but other than that it wasn’t very “ _clubby_ ”. It was during times like these that he was reminded that he needed to expand his wardrobe, one that consisted of almost 90% sweats.

A bouncer at the door let him in when he said he was with a Min Yoongi (Jimin informed him that was how to get in). Surprised at how easy it was, the door was opened for him and he walked inside. The club was popular and people were already outside waiting in line but inside was strangely calm. EDM music played at a low volume as the entire club was empty, save for a handful of employees. At the bottom of a staircase he saw Hoseok wave him over and he quickly walked to his Hyung.

“What’s going on?”

“I’ll explain as we go up.” Hoseok started up the steps and Jungkook followed. “So,” He turned to the younger boy. “Yoongi Hyung told me the great news about their new job. He wanted to do a surprise party for Joon.” Hoseok laughed. “Even though they _both_ got the job, he’s throwing a party for Joon. What a softie.”

“Wow… but at a club?”

“He’s friends with the owner and there is an extra room up here that we’re gonna be using. Obviously we can club out afterwards.”

Hoseok opened up a door that had a **KEEP OUT** sign in red letters on it. He felt rebellious walking through the door but those feelings left as he saw the room was filled with balloons and streamers. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting but he saw Taehyung, Seokjin and Jimin inside and they cheered as soon as they saw him.

“He’s not the one we’re surprising guys!”

“No, he’s getting a different congratulations!” Taehyung pulled in Jungkook for a hug. “I wanted to saw it in person too, congrats on you and Hyung!”

Seokjin and Jimin clapped as Taehyung did a congratulatory dance. Hoseok looked at everyone in utter confusion.

“What are you guys talking about?”

“The two idiots finally started dating.” Seokjin said with his hands on his hips.

“What two idiots?”

“My brother and Kook, _duh_.” Taehyung said with sass.

“What?!” Hoseok shrieked. “That’s completely out of nowhere!”

Seokjin’s windshield wiper laugh startled the confused friend. “Hoseokie. Have you been oblivious this entire time?”

“Namjoon Hyung and Jungkookie have been pinning over each other for awhile, Hyung.” Jimin smirked.

“Joon and Jungkook?” Hoseok blinked dumbly at the rest of the group.

Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh. “Yup.”

“Well, shit. I guess I’ve been living under a rock.”

“Most definitely.” Seokjin chuckled. “But I almost forgot you’re basically just as bad or possibly even worse when it comes to romance, so I shouldn’t be surprised. Someone could be flirting with you and you’d have no clue.”

Hoseok crossed his arms with a frown. “Seokjin Hyung we aren’t here to expose my weaknesses.”

“Why not? Isn’t that friendship?” The oldest said in an exaggerated voice.

Hoseok rolled his eyes but was soon distracted by a text. “Oh, it’s Yoongi Hyung. They’re on their way so let’s make sure everything is set up.”

“Everything is done I guess we just turn the lights off and hide?” Taehyung adjusted a party hat he had on.

Hoseok turned off the lights and they all huddled behind the table of snacks to hide. Jimin turned the flashlight mode on his phone and shined it on Jungkook’s face.

“Sooo,” He dragged out. “Have you and Namjoon Hyung been flirting over text all day or what?”

“Nope. Just a text in the morning.”

“Ah that’s it?”

“He was busy today there’s no helping it.” Jungkook pushed Jimin’s phone out of his face. “Knock that off.”

“Hmm by the sound of it you’d like all the flirty texts though.” Jimin wiggled an eyebrow, Seokjin and Taehyung joined in.

Jungkook sighed. “Of course I would. But he did send a heart emoji in the morning.”

“Ooooh that’s promising.”

Jungkook got startled when his phone dinged. Jimin immediately asked if it was Namjoon and turned out, it was.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 7:33pm

_Hey Jungkookie ❤ I’ve been so busy today but I hope you’re day was good. Yoongi Hyung is gonna show me some equipment a friend of his is selling but when I get home did you want to talk on the phone for a bit?_

 

Jungkook smiled at the text and could feel the stares from his friends. He looked up from his phone and saw all their eyes on him. He sighed.

“ _Yes_ , it’s from Hyung. He thinks Yoongi Hyung is showing him music equipment.”

“Oh, good cover.” Hoseok approved.

“He’s got a one track mind when it comes to music so Hyung is probably following him like a puppy.”

The image in his head looked too cute and Jungkook wished he could see it in person. Everyone stilled when they heard muffled voices outside the door. Not long after the door was opened.

“Let me turn the lights on.” Yoongi said naturally.

The second the lights were on they all jumped out from behind the table.

“SURPRISE!”

Namjoon yelled out and was so startled he nearly fell down, taking Yoongi with him. He looked over at Jungkook and his eyes grew large and he smiled. Hoseok walked forward and clapped.

“Congratulations on the new job!”

Everyone joined in and clapped and Namjoon looked bashful. “Thank you, guys.”

Hoseok nudged Jungkook who stood behind him. “Congrats to you too.” He winked.

“Oh uh, thanks.” He blushed.

“Yoongi Hyung, why aren’t you surprised at all?” The fooled boy eyed his friend.

“Uhh because I was the one who set this up.” He held the back of his neck.

“Hyung!” He smacked Yoongi in the arm. “You got the job too ya know?”

“I know, I know. I’m not much of a party person but I thought we should celebrate.” He shrugged.

Taehyung slid through the group to stand with his boyfriend. “Isn’t he sweet?” He cooed.

Yoongi bit his lip to hide a smile. “It was nothing.”

Jungkook had gotten over the initial excitement and finally got a look at what Namjoon was wearing. His outfit definitely wasn’t club appropriate, it was more chic and clean since he had to sign the contract and look presentable. He was wearing tight black slacks with a dark grey button down that was tucked in. Jungkook could _actually_ see the older boy’s waist and it was a hell of a sight. Namjoon’s proportions were incredible and the younger boy was a bit in shock since he had never seen Namjoon wear clothes that showed it before, usually everything he wore was on the loose fitting side. Not just the clothes but his hair showed off his handsome face, it was slicked back and he honestly looked like a movie star.

Jungkook was caught gawking and Namjoon just smiled at him warmly. The older boy walked over and smoothly placed a hand on Jungkook’s hip and leaned his head down near the boy’s ear.

“If you keep looking at me like that I’m gonna have to kiss you.” He whispered.

“Is that a threat?” Jungkook smirked.

“Probably more like a treat.”

Jungkook felt a shiver go through his body. Namjoon’s stare was steady and intense and he swore he wouldn’t last the night if he kept it up. He placed his hand on the older boy’s forearm as he averted his eyes. “You better stop before I die.”

Namjoon let out a low chuckle. “I’ll safe it for later then.”

“L-later? Wha-”

“Let’s eat some cake before I eat it all myself!” Seokjin announced as he pulled them over to the table.

Namjoon’s face lit up as Seokjin opened the box to reveal the cake. It was his favorite LINE character Ryan as the face of the cake. Jimin proudly said he picked it out, knowing from Jungkook how much the older boy liked Ryan. Jimin and Namjoon exchanged a hug before cutting a piece of the Ryan cake and Jungkook was happy to see that they got along so well.

After everyone ate a bunch of the snacks Jimin said he wanted a drink. The club had already opened and the music could be heard past the door. Seokjin agreed, saying he wanted something strong.

“You want to get a drink with everyone else?” Namjoon asked.

Jungkook obviously wasn’t a club person but he didn’t want to be a drag on a night that was supposed to be fun. He was the last to agree and everyone left the room. The volume of the music hit him like a bag of bricks. The place was packed. It was at least double the size of the gay bar he went to last and it was intimidating to say the least. Namjoon stuck to him closely, he held his hand as soon as they walked out the door. They had to squeeze past two guys who were making out on the stairs, which was a bit of work since they were so drunk and oblivious to everything around them.

It was hard not to stare and Jungkook felt a little self conscious. They were using a lot of tongue and Jungkook had never kissed like that before. The first time Namjoon kissed him they were pretty close to crossing that line but that was when the older boy pulled away. Every other kiss they had since was passionate but without tongue. He began to worry when Namjoon would finally kiss him like that because he was completely inexperienced.

Once they were free from the stairs they had to make their way through the sea of people. Jimin and Seokjin had already made it to the bar across the room and it was their turn. Namjoon squeezed his hand tight and Jungkook held his casted hand to his chest, only now realizing how bad of an idea it was to go to a club in a cast. A few guys looked at him as they walked but he focused instead on the hand that was pulling him through the crowd. Jungkook let out a long breath he didn’t know he was holding once they got to the bar.

“ _God_ , why are there like, a million people in here?”

The bartender heard Jungkook’s question. “A DJ who used to play here is back for one night. He’s pretty popular.”

“A DJ?”

Their attention was brought to the front of the club when the music was cut off and someone began to talk on a microphone. To everyone’s surprise Taehyung was standing behind a DJ table.

“Hello everyone! I’m sure you all know who’s here tonight, right?” The crowd cheered. “Please welcome for his last official show tonight, DJ Gloss!”

The crowd went wild when Yoongi appeared on the stage. He smiled at Taehyung as the younger left the stage. Yoongi stood at the DJ table and as soon as he placed headphones on a heavy beat began to play. People started dancing and grinding all over each other and Jungkook was glad he was currently at the bar. He let Namjoon order a drink for him and hadn't even take a sip before he saw Hoseok struggling in the crowd. Hoseok shimmied past some aggressive dancers and greeted everyone as he sat on a stool.

“You looked like you were about to be squished like a bug.” Jimin laughed.

“It wasn’t so bad until Yoongi Hyung got on stage.” He sighed. “Oh, he agreed to play tonight so we could use that room. He’s so sneaky with his sweet gestures.”

“Hyung did that?” Namjoon smiled.

“Yeah, and we were barely in the room for an hour.“ Something seemed to catch Hoseok’s attention. “ _But_ it looks like he’s having fun up there.”

He motioned his head to the front of the club and Namjoon choked on his drink at the sight. Taehyung was back on the stage with Yoongi and the younger boy was sucking on Yoongi’s neck for everyone to see. The older boy gave no fucks and continued on like it was the norm.

“And they’re not even drunk yet, right? Wow.” Jungkook said before he took a gulp of his drink.

“Those two are wild together.” Seokjin said with a laugh. “Why do they remind me of a tiger and a kitten?”

“Holy shit you’re right!” Jimin bellowed out.

“Yoongi Hyung must be the tiger.” Jungkook was surprised to see Seokjin look at him and shake his head.

“Oh, you are hugely mistaken. Our Yoongi is without a doubt the kitten.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever looked at Yoongi Hyung and thought, _kitten_.”

“That’s because you don’t look at him. You drool over Joon all day instead.” Seokjin shrugged.

Jimin and Hoseok bursted out laughing while Jungkook and Namjoon blushed. He watched the older boy drink down the rest of his drink in one go and place it on the counter.

“I’ll be back. Bathroom.”

“O-oh ok.”

Namjoon made his way through the crowd and soon Jungkook couldn’t see him anymore. He looked back to his drink and finished it off. He was going to ask for another when he was interrupted.

“Two of what he had.”

Jungkook looked to his side and saw a gorgeous man, Seokjin level gorgeous to be perfectly honest. He smiled at Jungkook when the bartender set the drinks on the counter, sliding one to the younger boy.

“I’m Hongseok.”

“Uh.. Jungkook.” He could hear Jimin giggling to the side of him but tried to ignore it. “You didn’t have to get that for me.”

Hongseok laughed smoothly. “Don’t worry about it. So, how long have you been wearing that cast?” He pointed to Jungkook’s left arm.

“Just uh a couple weeks.” He took a sip of the drink.

“Oh, so you’ve still got a ways to go. Casts suck. Showering is a nightmare.”

“God, yeah. I’ve decided to start taking baths because I accidentally got my cast wet this morning.”

“It didn’t get ruined?” Hongseok took a large swig of his drink.

“No, I was lucky.” He smiled but was caught off guard when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Namjoon who had a determined expression. The older boy grabbed the side of his face and leaned in and kissed him. Jungkook was at a complete loss and could barely function at the public display of affection. Without much fight he closed his eyes and melted into the kiss. Namjoon pulled away too soon, Jungkook leaning back in for more but stopped once he remembered where he was. Their friends were squealing and the man who introduced him as Hongseok looked at him stunned.

“Hi I’m Namjoon. This is my boyfriend.” He said lowly as he gestured towards Jungkook.

Hongseok shot up from his seat. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” He bowed and scurried away.

“Way to show dominance, Joon.” Hoseok whistled.

Jungkook covered his face. “Hyung, warn me next time.” He whined.

“Sorry Jungkookie.” He said sincerely. “I let my jealousy take over.” He scratched the back of his neck.

He looked at Namjoon who truly looked regretful. “Nah it’s fine. It was funny seeing his face.” He giggled as he took a sip.

The older boy lightened up. “Yeah, it was priceless.”

“That poor boy actually seemed sweet and you scarred him.” Seokjin pouted into his drink.

“Why don’t you make him feel better?” Jimin raised an eyebrow.

“You know what? I will.” He said in a huff.

They all cheered for him as Seokjin went in the direction Hongseok ran off to. Before he disappeared into the crowd he gave them a flying kiss that turned into the middle finger, then he walked off gracefully.

Jimin and Hoseok finished off their drinks and decided to go out on the dance floor, Hoseok proclaiming that he’d, " _show everyone how it’s done"_. He and Namjoon were now left alone at the bar.

“Do you um, dance?” Namjoon asked awkwardly.

“A little. How about you?”

“Hoseok Hyung’s pinky toe can dance better than me.”

“Now that you say that I kinda want to see you dance.”

“Dammit.”

Namjoon grabbed Jungkook’s hand and pulled him on the dance floor. They made some room for themselves and then the older boy let it loose. He flailed his arms around then did some strange footwork. Jungkook laughed so hard he felt his eyes begin to water.

“Hyung!” He called out over the music. “Stop! I can’t breathe!” He tried to stop laughing but Namjoon did one last ridiculous move that had him going again.

“Alright I’ll stop!” He smiled at Jungkook and leaned in so the younger could hear him. “I love your laugh.” He stepped back and looked at him sweetly.

Jungkook stopped mid-laugh and blushed at the older boy. He averted his eyes and smiled. “What a flirt.”

“Get used to it.” He grabbed Jungkook’s hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I guess I will.” He squeezed back.

There was a lot of cheering in front of them and when they looked into the crowd they saw Jimin and Hoseok in the middle of the dance floor dancing like they owned it. It almost looked like they choreographed the whole thing but everyone went wild when they started grinding on each other. Jungkook literally couldn’t speak he was so stunned by the sight. They continued to dance sensually until the song ended and everyone cheered as they bowed.

“Jimin Hyung!” He yelled.

Jimin and Hoseok heard and they walked over. “Hey! Did you see?”

“Did I _see_? You mean the grinding?”

Hoseok laughed. “Grinding is fun, and Jimin is a fun dance partner.” He swung his arm around Jimin. “I need more drinks! Let’s go!”

Both dancers waved and left for the bar. Namjoon let out at laugh after some silence.

“We shouldn’t be so surprised. All our friends are wild.”

“It’s still a lot to process.”

Namjoon looked at him blankly but soon a smirk surfaced on his face. “You’ve never danced like that before?”

“Uh n-no what? You have?”

“Definitely. Like Hoseok Hyung said, it’s fun.”

“Oh.” He shifted his eyes anticipating the next question.

“You.. want to?”

Jungkook silently nodded and the next moment Namjoon’s hands were on him. He turned the younger boy around so his back faced him, then he pulled him close. Jungkook let out a sound of surprise when Namjoon placed his hands on his hips.

“Just sway back and forth to the music. Pretty easy, even for me.”

Jungkook laughed at the self jab and followed his direction. Namjoon lead him and moved his hips back and forth until he felt confident enough to do it himself. Once he was comfortable enough he raised an arm up and held the back of Namjoon’s neck, something he saw his friend’s do on the dance floor prior. It felt sexy and Jungkook was surprised at how nice it felt. He wasn’t drunk but he could feel the slight buzz and he closed his eyes as he leaned completely into Namjoon and let himself relax. The older boy’s fingers dug into the jean material on his hips and he swung his head back and glanced at Namjoon to see him looking at him with hungry eyes.

“This is fun.” He breathed out.

Namjoon’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “You’re killing me right now.”

“Payback for earlier?” He stuck out his tongue.

The space they had around them was now invaded by people pushing by. It felt even more crowded than before and it was starting to be too much. He turned around and looked at Namjoon, the older boy nodded knowing that he needed to get away from the crowd. He held his hand and walked him through all the drunkards and made it to the staircase.

“We can hang out in the Keep Out room for a little while?”

“Ok.”

The stairway was luckily free of people making out so they got up to the room fairly quickly. Once inside Jungkook felt like he could breathe. He sat down in one of three chairs and sighed.

“Better?”

“Better.”

Namjoon walked over to the table and grabbed a water bottle. “Here. Drink this.”

“Thanks.” He took a few swigs then put the cap back on.

They let the room fall to silence for awhile, Namjoon snacking on some leftover food on the table while Jungkook continued to drink the water. The younger boy soon grew tired of the lack of conversation and spoke up first.

“So, you’re starting tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” He said as he sat down. “They are assigning us with another group and we’ll be brainstorming with them.”

“Will you be as busy as last time?”

“I.. hope not. We were working with a group that needed the song finished quickly. This time shouldn’t be as rushed of a process.”

“Good. Not seeing you for a month really sucked.”

“It was awful. I wanted to call you every day.”

“If you get that busy again you’re going to have to. Texting won’t be enough.”

“Alright. I will.” He smiled softly at Jungkook.

“It’s..” He bit his bottom lip. “It’s gonna be harder once I’m back to work again. And especially during exams.”

“We’ll work through it.” Namjoon assured him.

“But it’s even hard for my friend’s Mingyu and Minghao. I don’t know how they do it.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“But what if we’re both so tired and worn out and-”

“Jungkookie.” Namjoon stood up and walked over to him, squatting down to hold his hands. “Don’t stress over it.”

“I’ve.. just.” He paused. “I’ve never been in a serious relationship before.”

Namjoon nodded. “I know, but don’t stress out about what could _possibly_ happen. That’s when problems are created without any actual problems.”

“Ok.” Jungkook sulked.

“Have you already been worrying about this?”

“Um. Yeah.”

The older boy sighed as he stood back up. “Jungkookie, I want this to work as much as you do. I won’t let it get to a point where we literally aren’t taking to each other for weeks because we’re busy. We’re both adults, we’re bound to be busy but I like you too much to let that get in the way of our relationship.”

Jungkook stared up at Namjoon who’s expression was so sure and calm. How did he know exactly what to say to make all of Jungkook’s worries fall away? His heart swelled as he looked at the older boy who’s eyes held the galaxy. Jungkook even at that very moment couldn’t believe the person in front of him was _his_ boyfriend. The most humble, articulate and beautiful person he knew, was _his_. He slowly stood up and wrapped his arms around Namjoon, feeling like everything would be ok, because Namjoon said it would.

“Thank you.”


	24. It's Like We're Soulmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Free food and facetiming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Twitter I'll be having a poll on if you guys want just fluff or.. more? for the future chapters :-)

Jungkook and Namjoon stayed in the _Keep Out_ room until they were flooded with _“Where r u?_ ” texts. At around 11pm everyone went their separate ways. It was extra hard to say goodbye to Namjoon but after a soft kiss goodbye they went home.

It had been a week since the night at the club and Namjoon was busier than he anticipated. The company had decided to assign them to work with a solo singer in the company as well and it was a lot of back and forth since the soloist participated in melody and lyric writing. Namjoon called every day like he promised but Jungkook grew worried the last couple days since the older boy was obviously becoming very tired working on more than one project.

Jungkook and Taehyung had agreed to meet up for dinner, both eager to talk about their busy boyfriends. Taehyung was busy himself but invited the younger boy on the set of a photoshoot he was working on. His friend wouldn’t be able to get away from the set but he said food was already there so they’d eat there together.

It was very difficult to find the floor Taehyung was on. The building was attached to a high scale café and each floor was owned by someone different. He somehow got lost on the staircase, it went up six stories. Luckily he met someone walking down the stairs and they gave him directions. After what felt like an hour (it was only fifteen minutes) he made it to the correct floor. He was surprised to see a sign for a restaurant and double checked the address he was given but it definitely _was_ the right address. The door was open and he went inside.

Inside was a full on restaurant. It was furnished with old collectables and antiques from all over Asia. Jungkook never knew a place like this was in the city. It was strange to see the it packed with camera equipment instead of hungry customers. He watched as staff meticulously moved furniture and decorated the “set”, if you’d call it that. He spotted Taehyung modelling against a rich gold chinese cabinet. He was wearing an embroidered plum velvet suit and he looked expensive. Another man joined him and they modelled naturally together, Jungkook completely in awe. He could see the photos pop up on a monitor and they looked incredible. When he looked up Taehyung was waving at him cutely and he waved back.

The photographer announced that they’d take a break to eat. Staff started to move some of the clunky equipment out of the way and put tables back in their place. Jungkook only now realized he had smelled food cooking in the back. Presumably the owner of the restaurant walked out of the kitchen and called out to everyone in the room.

“Everyone has been delightful today so as a thanks, me and a few of my cooks made our best dishes for you. Please enjoy.”

The crowd of workers clapped but Jungkook lingered near a table until he saw Taehyung along with the rest of the models walk over with robes covering their clothes. His friend skipped over and they sat down together.

“Nice robe.”

“Why, thank you.” He said while adjusting the collar. “Ok but seriously, I took off the jacket because that thing is worth like two month’s of my rent.”

“Shit. How many months would that be for _my_ rent?”

“I’m too hungry to do math right now, Kook.”

Jungkook giggled as his friend chugged down some water. Within the next couple minutes all the food was set out and it was officially time to dig in. It was a fusion restaurant so everything was a different spin on korean and chinese classics and it was delicious. He knew it was probably an expensive meal so he was lucky he could score it for free because of Taehyung. Knowing himself he’d probably never blow that much money on just one meal.

“So, how has it been? Other than us both having overworked boyfriends.”

Jungkook sighed. “I’m trying to focus on college. But I have free time because I’m not working and that’s driving me crazy.”

“Because you want to spend it with Hyung?”

“Yeah..”

“Me and Yoongi Hyung have been facetiming lately. Have you and Hyung done that?”

“No, actually.” He felt kind of stupid for not having thought of it before.

“It helps seeing his face.“ His friend lowered his voice. “Among other things.”

“Tae!”

Taehyung grinned as he ate. “What? We’re both young and hot and you can’t blame me for that.”

Jungkook shook his head. “That doesn’t mean I wanna hear about it.”

“Oh yeah, you are more of the innocent type. I forgot.”

He glared at his friend. “Namjoon said the same thing.”

“Wow, look at my Hyung _actually_ picking up on something.”

“Shut up.” He pouted. “I’m totally not innocent did you see me grinding up on Namjoon Hyung at the club?”

“Oh my god _no_!” Taehyung sounded way too excited at the information. “I can’t believe I missed that.”

“You were too busy sucking on Yoongi’s Hyung’s neck as he was performing to notice.”

“True.”

“Anyways, we are talking in circles.”

Taehyung gulped down his food. “Honestly Kook, there isn’t a lot we can do about them working so much. It’s nice that we can complain to each other though.” Taehyung shrugged.

“I already kind of knew but yeah. Have you heard any sign of either of them having a full day off?”

“It’s gonna be the weekend. Maybe their boss has a heart and will give them it off?”

“Did Yoongi Hyung hint at that?”

“Nah, but he did say newcomers get worked to the bone. A lot of their seniors are giving them work they don’t want to do and yelling at them for tiny mistakes as some kind of power play. I guess college hazing isn’t where it ends.”

“Namjoon Hyung hasn’t mentioned that at all..”

“He probably didn’t want you worrying over him too much. We can’t exactly do anything about it anyway.”

“But I can at least comfort him.” Jungkook frowned.

His friend was silent for a moment. “Yeah.. you’re right.” Taehyung nodded his head. “Hyung can be a little too protective sometimes but he forgets about himself needing it too. Even if it’s just being consoled.”

“I’ll have to facetime him and scold him.”

“ _Oooh_ that sounds kinky.” Taehyung teased.

“Tae I’m gonna throw my drink on you if you don’t stop.”

“No you won’t, because you’d have to pay for the suit to get cleaned.” He stuck his tongue out at Jungkook.

“Ugh. I hate when you’re right.”

After finishing up the amazing food Jungkook left before he would be in the way. Now that he was up and walking around he felt weighed down, he definitely ate way too much but he blamed that on the fact that it was free. He got a text from Jimin while he was on the bus. His friend would be home soon for their planned movie night. Jimin wasn’t at the dance studio as much now that Jungkook was back. His roommate basically lived there those two weeks he was at Namjoon’s but now Jimin only went when Minghao was there. Because of that they finally hung out like they did in the summer and he realized just how much he missed being with his friend.

Jungkook got home before Jimin did so he set up the living room for the movie. He collected pillows from their beds and the soft extra large blanket they used for movie nights. Jimin said that the younger boy got to pick what they were watching, so Jungkook sat with the remote in his hand as he tried to pick which anime film to watch. He finally choose a favorite to rewatch, _The Girl Who Leapt Through Time_. He nearly jumped out of his seat when Jimin came bursting through the door with bags full of snacks.

“Jungkookie! Did Hoseok Hyung text you?” Jimin threw his shoes off and placed the bags on the kitchen table.

“Uh my phone is charging right now so I’m not sure. Why?”

His Hyung pulled out his phone. “Ok lemme show you.” He opened the YouTube app and went to Hoseok’s channel. “Hoseok Hyung usually gets around 20 to 25 thousand views per video.”

“Damn, that’s a lot.”

“Right? But a couple days ago he uploaded the video with Seokjin Hyung and before bed it had around 18 thousand. Here, look.”

Jungkook took the phone and looked at the views under the video. “What!? It almost has 300 thousand views!”

“Hoseok Hyung has been freaking out. Seokjin Hyung has been surprisingly chill. Apparently some international subscriber subbed a clip and put it on Twitter. Then it spread on other social media and famous drag queens were reacting to it!”

“Oh my god? That’s crazy!”

“And he’s gained 20 thousand subscribers because of it. He’s been texting me every time he gets another hundred.”

“Is it bad that now I’m kinda worried about the video he did with me and Yoohyeon being up next?” He stared out blankly.

“I mean.. it _is_ 20 thousand more people. I understand the worry. But Hoseok said it came out really funny so he’s excited to upload it.”

“Tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t watch it, because I’ll be tempted to look at the comments.”

“Good comments _do_ exist, Jungkookie.”

“Mean people are always louder, even online.” He reasoned.

“Ya know what? We should invite Yoohyeon over and having a viewing party. That could lighten up the mood right?”

Jungkook thought on it. “Hmm if she’s free, yeah. That would be fun.”

“I’ll text her right now since you’re phone is charging.”

Jungkook couldn’t protest his Hyung, Jimin always got his way. He sent up a prayer for the poor soul who’d have his friend as a boyfriend. Yoohyeon responded immediately saying she was dying for some social interaction so they could count her in. Jimin first pumped in the air at the success and Jungkook moaned in annoyance in reply.

“You’re extra grumpy today, what’s up?”

“Other than panicking over my video with Hoseok? Eh..”

“Spit it out.”

“Ok ok. Namjoon Hyung didn’t tell me about the hazing he and Yoongi Hyung are getting at the new job.”

“Oh.” Jimin nodded. “You really upset?”

“Not necessarily upset? Just a tiny bit disappointed. I know it’s because he doesn’t want me to worry but what if I _want_ to worry? Isn’t that what a boyfriend’s for?”

“Hazing is pretty standard even in work places so maybe he didn’t think it was worth bringing it up.”

“That sounds like something he’d do. But I talked with Tae, and Yoongi Hyung talked with him about it. They’ve been facetiming too.”

“You sound jealous.” Jimin raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe..” His eyes shifted.

“You’ll be talking with him tonight, right?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna ask to facetime.”

“Good.” Jimin put a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “He’ll be blubbering an apology once he sees you pout over the call.”

Hearing that made Jungkook crack a smile. “He’s cute when he gets like that.”

“Uh huh, but like, anything he does is cute to you.”

“So?” He crossed his arms.

“You’re so damn soft for him, but you’ve reached a new level of soft since you started dating him.” Jimin laughed.

“Just wait, once you start dating someone you’ll be just as bad as me.”

“We’ll see about that..”

They continued to bicker even after the movie started to play. Jimin kept reaching over and stealing the chocolate Jungkook was eating. But they soon got tired of fidgeting with each other and sank down into the couch for the rest of the film. Jungkook always got a little sad after the ending of this movie. The quote, _“Time waits for no one”_ always made him think. He thought of how he wasted so much time pinning over Namjoon but never doing anything about it. The last time he watched the film was during his senior year and he hated himself for feeling too scared to even ask for Namjoon’s name. But everything was different. He now knew _way_ more than the older boy’s name and if only he knew what the future held for him he might’ve given himself a break back then.

They stayed glued to the couch even after the credits were done rolling. He heard Jimin let out a small giggle and turned to see his roommate on his phone.

“Who are you talking to?” Jungkook narrowed his eyes.

“Just Hoseok Hyung.”

“You guys have gotten close?”

“Yeah? I’ve met up with him quite a few times now and we get along pretty well.”

“Hmm. That explains the grinding.”

“It’s not like that! We’re just friends!”

“Sure. Does _he_ know that?”

Jimin stilled and his eyes widened slightly. “Shit.”

“What?”

“He _does_ call me cute all the time..”

“Jimin Hyung have you been leading Hoseok Hyung on? Our hope? Our angel?”

“Wait! I didn’t.. I didn’t mean to!” Jimin stood up in a panic. “What do I do?”

“Hyung calm down nothing has even happened yet, right?”

“I grinded on him in a gay club.”

“You said that was friendly grinding.”

Jimin clenched his head. “Why am I only now realizing how stupid that sounds?”

“Ok but before you freak out what if Hoseok Hyung calls all his friends cute?”

“Maybe? But uh, he always hugs me and sometimes kisses the top of my head..”

“Hyung! What the hell? You guys sound like a couple!”

Jimin started to pace around the living room. “I didn’t think much of it? Wow am I an asshole?”

“If you did it on purpose, yeah. You’re not an asshole, you’re just stupid.”

“Thanks.” Jimin said sarcastically.

“How about you take your own advice and talk to him?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

Jimin stared at him blankly for a moment. “I’ll ask to meet him tomorrow.”

“Don’t break Hoseok Hyung’s heart too badly.” He yawned.

“No pressure at all.” Jimin sighed.

Jungkook let out a tired laugh. “I’m gonna lay in bed until Namjoon Hyung calls me.”

“Don’t accidentally fall asleep!”

“I won’t!”

Jungkook totally _did_ fell asleep. After he looked through Instagram for awhile he wrapped his blanket around himself and next thing he knew he was woken up by his phone ringing. Discombobulated he yelped out trying to swipe to answer the call and after a few failed attempts he answered the phone and let out a groggy, “hello?”

“Jungkookie, you sound like you just woke up.”

“And you sound like you _need_ to sleep.” He grumbled.

“You’re not wrong. I want to sleep for an entire 24 hours.”

Jungkook stumbled out of bed to see his disheveled appearance in his dresser mirror. “Will you be getting any time off? Like the weekend?”

“Actually that was the news I had to share. I get the weekend off!”

“Oh my god! Finally!”

“I've barely been outside I miss seeing the sun. And I’ve also missed seeing your face.”

“Hyung, we could facetime.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, just let me fix my bed head.”

Namjoon chuckled over the call as he tried to flatten the side of his hair that was sticking up. He finally gave up and pulled his hood up to hide the mess. Jungkook didn’t know how to position his phone as he waited for Namjoon to answer the video call. A second later he saw the older boy’s face on the screen and he had to resist the urge to kiss his phone. Namjoon also had his hood up but under it he wore a black cap.

“Hey.” Jungkook said softly.

“Hi.” The older boy smiled deeply as he leaned his head on his chin.

“You look just as tired as you sound.”

“I must look like shit. ” He chuckled.

“No, you still look good.”

“Nope I can see myself in the corner. I do look like shit, you’re just biased.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “So what if I am?”

He pushed his hood down and adjusted the cap on his head. “It’s not a bad thing.” He smiled through the screen and Jungkook wished he was right there in front of him. “So, guess what I’ve been doing?”

“What?” He asked intrigued.

“I’ve been listening to the CD you made me.”

“Oh.” Jungkook blushed.

“But in order to make it last longer I’ve only been listening to one song a day. But one song in particular I was surprised by.”

“Which one?”

“1:30 by Nell. You know what’s crazy? I listened to that album all the time in high school.”

“Oh my god, really?”

“Yeah. It was my studying music. I was so surprised when I saw it on the tracklist you wrote out.”

“You know what’s even crazier? I recently found that album and have been playing it while I study.”

Namjoon laughed in disbelief. “Holy shit?”

“Yeah.” He laughed.

“It’s like we’re soulmates or something.”

Jungkook looked at Namjoon on the screen and saw the slight nervous fidgeting he’d do when he was embarrassed. “Do you believe in that? Soulmates?”

The older boy looked lost in his thoughts for a moment. “I never did before.”

“Before?”

“I always thought it was silly? But I think that now I understand what people mean when a person can be instantly drawn to someone and everything just, _clicks_.”

“That’s.. bold of you to say.” He tried to hid his face by pulling his hood forward.

“Sorry, is it weird for me to say that so soon?” Namjoon averted his eyes.

Jungkook had wondered what having a soulmate was like as a kid. He’d sometimes hear kids from school say that things like soulmates don’t exist but when he saw his parents together he couldn’t say that it didn’t. And after looking at Namjoon from afar to being his boyfriend he began to wonder if he had found it too. “Hyung. Look at me.”

The older boy’s eyes shifted and they just looked at each other for a few long seconds. “It’s not weird.” Jungkook began. “It’s sweet.”

Namjoon looked away again bashful. “God I’m just embarrassing myself at this point.” He laughed at himself.

“Don’t worry, we both do a lot of that.”

The older boy nodded his head. “Very true.”

“But, Hyung?”

“Hm?”

“I wanted to talk about something.”

“What is it? Is something wrong?” He looked worried.

“It’s nothing too big but I found out from Tae that you and Yoongi Hyung are being hazed by your seniors.” He pouted.

“Oh.” He wore a guilty expression. “Jungkook I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“Hyung. I _want_ to worry about you.”

Namjoon’s expression changed and he looked at the boy stunned. “I uh t-that’s-”

“You have no excuse to keep that kind of stuff from me, alright? Even if I can’t do anything to help the situation I want you to at least vent to me about how annoying your day was. Stupid stuff like that.” He smiled.

Namjoon didn’t reply immediately but simply smiled back warmly at Jungkook. After some silence he nodded. “Ok.” He sighed. “Because I’d love to vent right now.”

“Vent away!” He giggled.

“So, remember that producer I complained about before? The one that made it harder to finish recording?”

“Yes I remember.“

Namjoon rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. “This guy. Ha! This guy! He definitely hates me.”

“How could anyone hate you?”

“Remember Jungkookie, you’re biased.”

“Oh, right.”

They both laughed. “He has me doing all his errands like I’m an intern. When he asked me to get him coffee I wanted to punch the guy in the stomach.”

“Doesn’t he have an assistant to do that kind of stuff?”

“He abso-fucking-lutely does.”

“Sidenote but you’re hot when you swear.” He paused. “Please carry on.”

“You can’t just tell me to carry on when you tell me something like that.” Namjoon sputtered with a flushed face.

“It’s your fault for suddenly swearing.”

“Ok, I guess I’m taking note of the fact that you find me swearing hot then.”

It was Jungkook’s turn to blush but he tried to play it cool. “What, are you gonna make a list of my kinks?”

“Oh, I’d love that! Please tell me more.” Namjoon gave him the greasiest smile and he almost forgot how to breathe.

The younger boy fell down on his bed and faceplanted into his pillow. He could hear Namjoon cackling from the phone.

“Jungkookie! Stop hiding!”

He rolled over on his back and raised his phone above his face. “Ok, I’m here.” He pouted.

“Ah, I definitely like this angle better.”

“Hyung!” He sat up immediately.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” He laughed.

“This is like torture.” Jungkook whined.

“It is for me too. Seeing you just lying there made me want to lay there with you.”

“Yeah… I’d like that too.”

“We can do that tomorrow?”

“A nap date?”

“Well, during the day I want to hang out but maybe you could stay the night?”

“Oh. Ok.” He couldn’t hide the wide smile that spread on his face.

Namjoon mirrored the smile and all Jungkook wanted to do was kiss his dimples, something he’d been wanting to do for a long time.

“Prepare yourself. I’m going to be extra clingy.”

“Right back at ya.”

Namjoon tried to stifle a yawn but failed. “You should go to bed, it’s almost twelve in the morning.”

“What about you?”

“Me? I’ll probably be here until three or four.”

“What? Why can’t you go home now?”

“I’m almost finished with these lyrics and then I have to submit a demo of the melody. Finishing this was the deal to having the weekend off so I can’t complain.”

“Oh. Well, get home safely and sleep in, ok?”

He smiled sleepily. “I will. See you tomorrow, _baby_.” Namjoon ended the call.

“Baby?!” Jungkook squealed.

How dare Kim Namjoon pull that on him? He was the one who had to sleep now, right? Who could possibly sleep after that attack? He fell back on to his bed and kicked his legs against the mattress.

“He _really_ said that and just hung up.” He said to himself.

Jungkook held his phone up and decided to text the older boy before he attempted to go to sleep.

 

**Me**

sent 12:03am

_I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CALLED ME BABY THEN HUNG UP_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:05am

_lol I wanted to test it out but got embarrassed and accidentally ended the call.._

 

**Me**

sent 12:06am

_Stop being so endearing it’s stressing me out_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:07am

_:((((((_

_But the real question is.. did you like it_

 

**Me**

sent 12:09am

_Yes……….. (still hate u)_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:10am

_I’ll keep that in mind from now on. But we should stop texting otherwise I’ll be up all night._

 

**Me**

sent 12:12am

_I’m sorry!! I’ll stop! Sleep well once you get home ❤_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:13am

_Goodnight, baby ;)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poll is here --> https://twitter.com/Atragicgay


	25. Creepy Vibes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A morning date and a little bit of gossip

Jungkook spent the rest of night tossing and turning. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the word _baby_ and that damned winky face beside it. He wasn’t sure what time he got to sleep but he had hoped Namjoon was already home and tucked in bed when he finally did. He naturally woke up at around eight in the morning and after trying to fall back asleep for about an hour he called it quits and got up for the day.

Jimin was still sleeping so he thought he’d make coffee and breakfast for a change. The kitchen smelled of coffee as it brewed and he searched in the fridge for something to make. He realized at little too late that their fridge was relatively empty and they needed to go grocery shopping before Yoohyeon came over. He sighed as he took out their mugs and accepted that they’d go without breakfast.

He sat with his phone at the table as he drank his coffee. Jungkook felt bad that he completely forgotten the text Hoseok sent him about his video going viral. He was so focused on Namjoon calling him that he ignored his friend. He typed out a reply and apologized for it’s lateness. His phone buzzed immediately after. He was obviously expecting to see a response from Hoseok but instead it was a text from Namjoon.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 9:32am

_Hi. I want to see you._

 

**Me**

sent 9:33am

_I told you to sleep in!!!!!!!!!!!!! What are u doing up =_=_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 9:34am

_This is sleeping in for me…… anyways I tried going back to sleep but I’d rather see you instead_

 

**Me**

sent 9:36am

_Ok. I need to get groceries so you wanna pick me up and shop together?_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 9:37am

_I’d love to! I’m on my way!!!_

 

Jungkook excitedly got ready after he drank the rest of his coffee. He decided to put in a little more effort into his outfit, even if they were only going grocery shopping. He picked out an older pair of light ripped jeans he used to wear when he went through his white T-shirt phase. Instead of the white he wore a black band T-shirt tucked into the jeans together with his black boots. After pulling on a long black jacket he knew he needed to wear at least one color other than black. He mentally patted himself on the back for being self aware then looked through his hats. He sighed at himself as most of what he saw was, you guessed it, black. But pushed back in his drawer he found a maroon beanie Jimin had given him for his birthday two years ago. The beanie would have to do. He slid on the hat and went to the kitchen to write out a note to leave for Jimin.

 

_I made coffee but there isn’t anything to eat. Namjoon Hyung and I will be getting some groceries! Pls.. I know it’s domestic as hell so lay off on the teasing otherwise I won’t buy you a chocolate muffin :)_

 

The sarcastic smiley face was a nice touch, he thought. He placed the note near the coffee machine then headed to the door to put his shoes on. He told Namjoon to wait in the car because it was too cold for him to get out only to walk Jungkook out. He was checking the inside of his backpack for his wallet and house keys when there was a knock on the door. He rolled his eyes as he saw Namjoon through the peep hole. Sighing he unlocked and opened the door.

“Hyung, I told you to wa-”

Jungkook was startled when Namjoon pushed them both inside and closed the door all in the blink of an eye. He didn’t even process anything until the older boy pressed against him and his back hit the back of the door. He gasped at the intensity and only saw Namjoon’s hungry eyes for a second before he leaned in to kiss him. It was desperate and messy and _perfect_.

Jungkook had been anticipating the older boy kissing him with tongue but now Namjoon all but devoured him. Jungkook held onto the older boy’s shoulders for dear life as Namjoon pushed his tongue past his lips. At first he was worried that he’d not know what to do but Namjoon lead him perfectly. The older boy held onto his hips tightly as Jungkook moved his hand up his neck and his fingers tangled in that gorgeous black hair. Their tongues moved against each other and he couldn’t contain his moans as Namjoon scraped his teeth against his bottom lip. He started to feel his body tingle and shortly after they pulled away from each other needing to finally breathe. He gasped for air as he leaned his head back against the door. His neck was left exposed and soon he felt Namjoon’s lips on the side of his neck softly kissing him.

“ _Fuck_.” Namjoon breathed out.

“Good morning.” He said in a wrecked voice.

The older boy chuckled. “Good morning.” He held the side of Jungkook’s face and pecked him on the lips. “Sorry that was intense. I just wanted to get it out of my system before I made out with you in public in the middle of the snack aisle.”

He laughed. “We’d scare an old lady for sure.”

“Yeah, I don’t want us getting kicked out just because I couldn’t control myself.” The older boy stepped back and put a hand on Jungkook’s waist. “You got all dressed up.” He smirked.

The younger boy averted his eyes. “I don’t wear sweats _all_ the time you know.”

“Mhm.”

“Fine, I should just change into my sweats then.” He pushed past Namjoon but he quickly pulled him back.

“No way. You’re waist looks so pretty I don’t want you covering it up with a huge hoodie.”

Jungkook’s felt his face become hot. “Ok, I won’t. But let’s go before I change my mind.”

Jungkook opened the door and motioned for Namjoon to go out. The older boy laughed and followed the silent order. Namjoon was clingy like he warned, walking closely and sliding his hand into Jungkook’s once they were inside the elevator. It was such a difference from the last time the busy producer was stuck with work. It was a long grueling month away from each other but Jungkook was sure he only thought of him as a brother at the time. He now wondered if the older boy missed him as much as he did. He turned to see Namjoon’s profile, he wore a faint smile as he watched the numbers of the floors as they went down. He squeezed his hand and the older boy immediately looked at him with a warm smile.

“I’m a fan of this clingy side of you, Hyung. You’re too cute.”

The elevator doors opened and he walked through first and turned around to see Namjoon flustered behind him.

“I-i’m like a rubik’s cube, I have many different sides.” He walked forward with Jungkook and almost tripped on a plant next to the entrance of the building.

Jungkook lingered near the doors. “Well, I’m looking forward to seeing all those different sides.” He leaned in to give Namjoon a quick kiss before opening the doors and leaving the older boy behind him blushing up to his ears.

They didn’t talk much on the ride, they mostly exchanged glances and smiled dumbly at each other like a couple of flirty high school students. When they arrived Namjoon tried hard to keep a normal distance between them inside the store. Jungkook found the older boy’s determined face adorable and he had to resist the urge to kiss him right then and there. He’d save that for later, he thought.

Jungkook usually shopped with Jimin when it came to groceries. He made a small list of basics to buy but other than that he wasn’t sure if he should buy anything for a meal. He remembered when Jimin yelled at him for buying a wrong ingredient in the past so he figured it’d be best to stick to his list. He decided to buy non fridge items first, heading to get some much needed rice. Namjoon cutely followed behind pushing a cart.

It was hard to concentrate while the older boy was very obviously ogling him. He tried his best not to make eye contact knowing he’d melt under Namjoon’s gaze. Jungkook truly wasn’t prepared for this part of their relationship. They had only been a couple for a little over a week and most of it they were separated. The days before Namjoon was swamped with work were more on the  sweet side but now the older boy was so touchy and seductive. Jungkook definitely wasn’t mentally (or physically) prepared for such a sexy version of Namjoon. There was no doubt that Jungkook had had steamy dreams about the older boy before but it was much more intimidating in person. All he could do was brace himself for whatever Namjoon would do to him the next time they were alone.

He kept spacing out while grabbing things off the shelves, he accidentally put a few extras in the cart and didn’t notice until they were in check out. He didn’t buy a lot but Namjoon still held all of the bags, handing the younger boy his keys beforehand this time. Once outside Jungkook’s stomach rumbled and Namjoon turned his head at the sound.

“Didn’t eat anything?”

“No, that’s why I needed groceries. Did you eat yet?”

“Yeah.” He motioned to Jungkook and stared at the boy’s lips with a smirk. “A very filling meal.”

He slapped his hand over his mouth and became beet red. “You’re ruthless.” He said muffled.

“Get used to it.“ He laughed.

Jungkook speed walked past Namjoon. “I’m gonna get muffins and you’re not getting any!”

“That’s the cutest threat I’ve ever received.” Namjoon called out behind him.

Jungkook turned around pouting but couldn’t leave the older boy behind. They walked to Namjoon’s car and once the food was in the trunk they went to a bakery down the street. Jungkook became giddy as soon as they walked inside and he could smell all the pastries. He drooled over danishes and muffins but after some time decided on a simple chocolate chip muffin. He picked out a chocolate muffin with chocolate chips for Jimin and had it put in a bag for him. Namjoon ordered coffee and a cake donut and they both sat down to eat. The bakery was very quaint. The decorations were cozy and homey. There was even a fat sofa with floppy pillows toward the back of the store and all he wanted to do was drag Namjoon over and take a cat nap together.

“I’m gonna get jealous of that sofa if you keep staring at it like that.”

Jungkook broke out of the trance he hadn’t realized he was in. “Oh uh, shut up.” He took a big bite of his muffin as Namjoon chuckled.

“You look tired, did you not sleep well?” He sipped on his coffee.

“Heh, no thanks to you. You’re an ass for sending that text with the damn winky face.” Jungkook whined.

“I figured you wouldn’t let me off the hook that easy. I’ve been wanting to call you baby all morning but I’m trying to be good.” He grined.

Just hearing the older boy say _baby_ again made him squirmy. “I’ll forgive you if we cuddle tonight.”

Namjoon’s dimples showed as he smiled. “Alright.” His eyes seemed to twinkle as he looked at the younger boy and Jungkook thought they were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“So, uh.” He cleared his throat. “You can call me, um, ya know..”

“Baby?” He asked softly.

“Y-yeah, that.”

Namjoon smiled so wide his eyes became crescent moons. If letting the older boy calling him that made him that happy then he hoped he called him baby a thousand times a day just to see that smile.

Jungkook’s phone dinged and he saw he received a text from Jimin.

 

**Jimin Hyung**

sent 11:27am

_Where’s my muffin :(_

 

**Me**

sent 11:29am

_Don’t get ur panties in a twist I bought ur muffin I’ll be back soon_

 

“That’s Jimin, right? I can tell from your expression from reading whatever he sent.” He laughed.

Jungkook sighed. “We should probably head back before he sends me more whiney texts.”

He ate his last big bite of muffin and stole a sip of coffee from Namjoon to wash it down. He laughed as the older boy stuffed the rest of his donut in his mouth and choked, they left only after Namjoon stopped coughing. The car ride home they laughed about it and sang along to songs on the radio.

Jungkook didn’t allow Namjoon to carry everything this time, the older boy giving him one bag out the three. He ended up buying a few too many snacks and was expecting to get an earful from Jimin once they got inside. Namjoon was concentrating so hard to not drop his bags that he laid off on the bedroom eyes, Jungkook appreciated the momentary break. He fumbled to get his keys once they were at his apartment door but luckily Jimin must’ve heard him complaining because a moment later the door opened with Jimin demanding his breakfast. He handed his friend the grocery bag that he put the muffin inside and Jimin snatched it immediately.

His roommate bit into the chocolate muffin and moaned out. “Ughhh this is perfect.”

Namjoon laughed as he kicked off his shoes and placed the bags on the table. Jungkook looked through the bags to find perishables but once he opened the fridge he was surprised to see a bunch of tupperware inside filled with food.

“What kind of magic trick is this?”

“Offhh.” Jimin tried to speak but his mouth was too stuffed. He held up a finger as he chewed for the younger boy to wait for him to swallow. “You’re mom, she came by with all those side dishes.”

Jungkook looked inside the fridge again and shook his head. “This is so much. Did she carry all this up herself?”

“Yeah. I tried to politely scold her because I know she’s got a bad shoulder..”

“When she’s determined she’ll just do it anyway.” He sighed. “I’ll have to call and thank her though. It’s so much food for just the two of us I hope none of it goes bad.”

“Your lover boy is here, he can eat with us.”

“Lover boy?” Jungkook said with a laugh but heard Namjoon cough heavily behind him at the name.

“Oh shit, I can’t stay though I’m meeting with Hoseok Hyung for lunch.”

Jungkook began to sing Heartbreaker by G Dragon and Jimin glared at him from across the kitchen. Namjoon looked between the two of them confused and Jimin rolled his eyes knowing the younger boy would soon fill him in.

“Jimin Hyung lead poor Hoseok Hyung on and now he has to break his heart.”

“Oh my god you’re terrible, Jungkookie. Don’t listen to him he’s exaggerating.”

“Then.. what’s going on with Hoseok Hyung?”

“Well, I’m not completely sure but I think he might like me? And I’m just a natural flirt so I might have enabled it without realizing?”

“Hmm. Hoseok Hyung is actually hard to read. He’s a bit of the flirty type too so it could possibly be nothing.”

“Dammit. I should’ve talked to you about this first. Is this lunch a bad idea then? Should I not ask him about it?”

“I can’t say because I’m outside of it. But if you truly felt like he was flirting, ya know more than the usual, then go for it.”

“Great. Now I’m more confused than before.” Jimin plopped down in a kitchen chair.

“You could try to casually ask him if he likes someone? That way you’re not asking him so directly.” Jungkook suggested.

“Won’t that just sound like a backhanded confession though?”

“So, you _don’t_ like him?”

Jimin grew quiet as his eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t know?”

“Wait. What kind of answer is that? I thought you only saw him as a friend.” Jungkook looked at Jimin perplexed.

“I thought so too but I’ve kept thinking about Hoseok Hyung liking me and I just.. I don’t know.”

“This is more complicated than I thought.” Namjoon looked at Jimin with a frown.

Jimin’s phone signaled that he got a text and he groaned when he saw that it was from Hoseok. “He sent me the address for the place we’re eating at.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I should probably get going..”

Jimin left and he wished his friend luck. Namjoon had been waiting in the living room for him and he walked in to see his boyfriend dozing off on the couch. The older boy’s long legs made the couch look so small, like Namjoon was sleeping on a couch made for a child. He snickered at the sight but tried to be quiet as he sat beside him. He sat as slowly as he could so he wouldn’t disturb the sleeping older boy. But only a few moments later Namjoon’s eyes lightly flickered open and he looked at Jungkook with a sleepy smile.

“Jimin leave already?” He asked lowly while he placed a hand on Jungkook’s inner thigh.

He twitched at the touch. “Yeah. And honestly, you should too. Go back to you’re apartment and take a nap.” Jungkook ordered.

“Only if you nap with me.”

“You’re so handsy today I doubt you’d actually fall asleep with me around.”

Namjoon pouted but had no rebuttal. He only sank deeper into the couch as an act of defiance. When he crossed his arms and glanced at Jungkook he let out a laugh.

“Hyung. Is this a temper tantrum?”

“If I say yes will that change your mind about the nap?”

“If you were all sweet and cuddling, sure. But we’ll save that for later if you go home and nap now.”

“Ok. Alright.” He sighed as he stood up. “I’ll nap but there’s no way you’re getting out of me taking you home with me tonight.”

Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat. “Y-you mean for uh cuddling.”

“Things of that nature, yes.”

He gulped. “Nap first. Cuddles later.”

“Sounds good to me.” They walked to the door together and Namjoon slipped on his shoes. The older boy leaned in to kiss him softy. “See you later, baby.”

Jungkook became flushed. “I-I’ll see you.”

Namjoon smirked as he waved goodbye and Jungkook felt exhausted from the older boy’s antics as he closed the door. He checked the time and saw that it was half past noon. Yoohyeon would be coming over after her shift so he still had two and a half hours of waiting. Now that he sent Namjoon away he felt bored and kind of regretted not going to the apartment with him. He reasoned with himself and ultimately knew they’d probably do more making out and less sleeping if he followed Namjoon home. Not the worst outcome but it could wait.

He decided to first call his mother and thank her for the side dishes. She picked up immediately and answered with a cheery voice.

“Honey! I missed you at your apartment earlier!”

“Sorry I wasn’t there but thank you. You really gave us so much I’m might get fat if I eat it all.“

“I like you with a chubby face, you’d look like when you were a baby.” She laughed.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? But I heard you brought it up all by yourself. Mom. You need to take care of yourself better you really could’ve hurt yourself.”

“Oh I was fine! I’m careful otherwise so don’t worry. But you weren’t any better, out on a morning date. You haven’t mentioned at all that you’ve started dating someone!”

Jungkook choked on his saliva. “W-what.. how did you..”

“Jimin told me! What’s she like?”

“Uhhh.” He blanked. “Um, tall? Older and makes music but is a bit clumsy.”

“She sounds really interesting. I’ll have to meet her sometime.”

“They uh, are usually super busy with work so it’d probably be awhile.”

“Hm. That’s too bad. Well, I’m going out to lunch with your father so I’ll talk to you later. Enjoy the side dishes with Jimin.”

They said goodbye and Jungkook grunted out in annoyance. “Fucking Jimin Hyung…”

Now that his mother knew he was dating someone he’d get pestered about her wanting to meet them. Having his brother know he’s gay is one thing but his parents? Jungkook had no idea what they’re reaction would be. And he loved his family so much he was scared for the worst possible scenario. But was he always planning to keep that part of himself from them forever? He could only imagine they’d be suspicious once he was in his thirties and still without a girlfriend or wife. Was he too young to be already worrying about this? Or perhaps this was just the life of a gay person, something he’d have to get used to.

Jungkook didn’t want to sit in worry alone in his thoughts so he took out a textbook and worked on one of his assignments. He didn’t remember how or when he fell asleep but he was scared awake when he heard loud knocking on the front door. He nearly fell off the couch as he tried to stand up and called out that he’d be right there. He opened the door and an excited Yoohyeon jumped on him for a hug. But he was surprised to see Seokjin standing behind her, the oldest boy smiling at him like a child.

“Seokjin Hyung?”

“Yes. Hello. I invited myself along.”

Yoohyeon laughed. “No, I kind of invited him. He offered to drive me over after our shifts ended and I thought it’d be fun if he joined.”

“Oh, well come in.” He stepped back to let them inside and he could see Seokjin already looking over the kitchen.

“Jimin isn’t here?” Seokjin asked as he walked into the living room.

“He should be back any minute. I’m actually surprised he’s not back already.”

“Is he at dance practice or something?” Yoohyeon asked as she sat down on the couch.

“No, he had lunch with Hoseok Hyung.”

“What time did he leave?”

“11:30.”

“It’s 2:30 now.. damn either that’s a heck of a long lunch or something happened?”

“Well, Jimin was planning to talk with him about something..” He trailed off hoping they’d lose interest but it definitely did the opposite.

“Talk about what!?” Seokjin just about shouted.

“I’ll let him tell you.”

“Aww, come on! Don’t just leave us hanging!”

With impeccable timing they heard someone at the door and a moment later Jimin walked inside wearing an unreadable expression. They all watched as Jimin robotically took off his shoes and jacket and set his bag on the table. He slowly made his way to the couch and sat down in silence. Yoohyeon got up and stood beside Seokjin and everyone glanced at each other not knowing what to do or say. It was quiet until Jimin spoke.

“He doesn’t like me.” His roommate said with a strained voice.

“Hyung..?”

“But I think I like him.” Jimin’s expression was finally readable but Jungkook hated seeing the sadness in his eyes.

Seokjin and Yoohyeon stayed quiet behind him but were obviously confused with the conversation. Jimin hadn’t noticed the two extra friends and his eyes widened at the realization.

“Oh. Hi Seokjin Hyung. Hi Yoohyeon. I guess we’re here to talk about how sad my life is?”

“Jimin what happened?” Seokjin sat beside Jimin and rubbed his shoulder.

He moaned out in frustration. “I thought Hoseok Hyung might like me so I talked to him about it. It ended up being a pretty straightforward conversation. I simply asked if he liked me, he laughed and said no. I laughed and said that’s good. And then we ate hamburgers.”

“But you’ve been gone so long?” Yoohyeon brought up.

Jimin laughed sadly at himself. “That’s because I was so zoned out on the bus afterwards and rode it for an hour by accident. I had to get a taxi home since I was so far out.”

“I’m sorry I even brought up the thing with Hoseok Hyung the other day.”

Jimin sighed. “Jungkookie it’s fine. This kind of forced me to realize I had already started liking him. This way if I recognize it I can at least start to move on.”

“But Hoseokie is terrible with romance. He could very well like you too but is too stupid to act on it. Like Namjoon..”

“I doubt it. He answered me right away. It didn’t seem forced."

Seokjin shrugged. “I don’t know Jimin. I wouldn’t give up just yet.”

“I don’t want any false hope!” He crossed his arms.

“Hyung, he was right about me and Namjoon Hyung.”

“I… I’ll think about it. But please, I need to be distracted right now.”

“Um should we still watch the video? It has Hoseok Hyung in it too..”

“I can handle it but most importantly you’re not getting out of watching this video. Nice try.”

Jungkook put his hands up in surrender. “Ok, ok!”

He pulled up the video from Hoseok’s channel and saw that it was uploaded an hour ago and had over two thousand views so far. He took a deep breath before he pressed play then handed the remote to Yoohyeon. Hoseok’s shining smile started off the video and he didn’t dare look at Jimin’s current expression. It was so awkward watching himself on screen but the edits made him seem ten times more funny and he was grateful. Yoohyeon didn’t need the edits to make her funny, Seokjin already laughing at the nonsense she said about raising Jungkook. He began to clam up once he knew the last question in the video would be up. Jimin laughed at Yoohyeon’s story, agreeing that it wasn’t embarrassing at all, saying that she just wanted as much more screentime as possible. Yoohyeon pouted but didn’t say he was wrong. Jungkook was next and he sank into the couch in hopes it’d eat him.

“Wait. Jungkookie.” Jimin looked at him with a giddy smile.

“In his _boxers_?!” Seokjin yelled.

Yoohyeon scrambled to pause the video. “You never told Seokjin Hyung?”

“I feel so betrayed! You liked him since you were fifteen? I can’t believe this!” The oldest whined.

“Sorry. It’s embarrassing so I never filled you in.”

“And yet you tell the internet?!” Seokjin faked a sob. “I could have been teasing you about you saying _thighs_ to Namjoon this entire time. All that time lost.”

“Shhh! I want to finish the video.” Jimin said as he took the remote from Yoohyeon.

Everyone awed at Jungkook’s message to his first love aka Namjoon and not long after the video was done. Jungkook let out a sigh of relief when Jimin turned off the tv. Jimin was on his phone immediately after and shoved it in the younger boy’s face. “I just glanced at the comments. Take a look Jungkookie.”

“Ughhhhhh I don’t wanna!”

“Let me read them out.” Yoohyeon took the phone and scrolled through the comments. “Ha! This one says that Jungkook’s story was both hilarious and relatable.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Another says they loved the friendship we have.” She smiled at Jungkook.

He smiled back. “That’s really nice.” He sat up straight and leaned over to see Yoohyeon go through more comments.

“Wait. That one.” He pointed to the screen.

 _“This video makes me not feel alone.”_ She read out.

“See? I told you there would be good comments!” Jimin playfully smacked Jungkook’s back.

Yoohyeon suddenly burst out laughing. “This comment is gold!”

“What? What does it say?”

 _“That Jungkook dude is fucking hot. How does he like his eggs cooked in the morning?”_ She immediately started laughing again after reading it out.

“That comment was Namjoon.” Seokjin joined the laughter.

Jungkook froze. “Fuck. Wait. What if he watches this? Does he watch Hoseok’s videos?”

“Why are you freaking out?” Jimin looked at him confused.

“He doesn’t know I’ve liked him since I was fifteen.”

“Then why the hell did you say all that in a video?” Seokjin facepalmed.

“I don’t know it just kind of happened. Do you think he’ll see it?”

“I’m the only one who always watches Hoseokie’s videos. Yoongi and Namjoon are usually too busy but he’s absolutely gonna watch this video because his cute buff boyfriend is in it.” The oldest shrugged. “Sorry Jungkook.”

“Great. I’m doomed.”

“Why are you even so worried about it?” Yoohyeon asked.

“Isn’t that a lot to load on someone? _Hey, you were my first love at the age of fifteen and now we’re dating and you’re my first boyfriend._ ”

“Oh. Yeah, I get it.”

“I think it’ll take more than that to scare Namjoon off if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“But it could still make things awkward! It’s embarrassing for him to know I’ve liked him all these years.” He frowned and Jimin laughed.

“Jungkookie, he’ll probably think it’s cute. Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re seeing him tonight, right?” Seokjin leaned back into the cushions.

“Sooner than that. I’ll probably text him soon.”

The oldest sighed. “Everyone is either dating or having something going on. Where’s my dramatic love story?”

“What about that guy from the club?” Jimin raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, Hongseok? He was delicious.” He smirked.

“Ew. Please never say that again.” Jungkook grimaced.

“Did he give you his number?” Jimin asked.

“Yes actually. But I usually don’t date hookups.”

“Why not change things up?”

“He seemed nice anyways.”

“Of course you’d think that, he bought you drinks.”

“Hyung. Call him and take him out on a date.” Jimin ordered.

Seokjin sighed. “Ok. I will.”

“Hey you guys wanna hear some gossip from my company?”

“Yes please!” Seokjin scooted closer to Yoohyeon.

“It’s about that creepy guy.” She looked at Jungkook and he nodded, remembering what they talked about last time. “So this guy at my company that gave me creepy vibes hasn’t been back for weeks. The higher ups are furious and trying to find him. But yesterday a girl I train with saw him.”

“Did she report it?” Jimin leaned in closer to hear.

“No, she was too scared to.”

“Why is that?”

“Because she saw him with a gang. She was terrified they’d hunt her down if she said anything.”

“Wow so this guy was working to become a singer and now he joins a gang?” Seokjin shook his head.

“I heard he was a really talented rapper, even though I never heard it myself. I never got close enough for that. The only time I was really in the same room with him was when we had our company group photos done. Ah!” She pulled out her phone. “ I’ll show you the picture. I want you guys to see this guy.”

They all leaned in closely as she went through a series of pictures on her phone. She finally stopped at a group photo and zoomed in on it. She pointed to the screen. “That’s him.”

Jungkook suddenly couldn’t breathe. It felt like all the blood stopped pumping and a cold sweat was beginning to coat his skin. He wanted to get away, far away. But as he tried to stand he fumbled as he legs gave out. Seokjin caught him before he hit the floor.

“Jungkookie?”

“Kookie? Are you alright?”

They tried to speak to him but their voices sounded muffled, like his ears were stuffed with cotton swabs. He tried to stand but it was as if his bones turned to jelly and he had to rely on Seokjin to hold him up. Next his vision started to blur and his ears filled with white noise. He tried to open his eyes but they felt too heavy and soon he stopped fighting it and let himself fall into the dark.


	26. It's Not Just You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dizzy spells and an uncomfortable tightness

Jungkook was in and out of consciousness and every time he opened his eyes he was pulled back into the static. It almost felt like he was having an out of body experience, his soul desperately trying to escape his body. But he tried to focus on the fuzzy voices he heard around him, hoping it’d help pull him out.

_“Raise– feet— nurse told me-”_

_“Is that—come quick he–”_

He tried to make sense of the words he heard but it was like putting together a puzzle with missing pieces. Jungkook then felt a comforting hand on his cheek and soon a smooth low voice followed.

“Jungkookie? Baby?”

His vision was finally starting to clear and he saw Namjoon above him. He couldn’t control his emotions and he felt hot tears streaming down his face. He used the little bit of strength he had gained back and held his arms out.

“H-hyung.”

Namjoon leaned down and held him, cradling his head and giving him small kisses over his face. Jungkook weakly smiled and held the older boy as he waited for his body to regain more strength. They stayed like that for awhile and once Jungkook felt good enough he spoke.

“It was _him_.”

Namjoon nodded his head. “Yoohyeon showed me. We’ll go to the police station to give them the information.”

He tried to sit up. “We need to go now.”

“No no. Me and Yoohyeon will be going. You need to lay down for a bit, alright?”

“But I’m fine now, you’re here.” He sat up fully but started to feel dizzy.

“Jungkookie, stay here with Seokjin Hyung and Jimin and afterwards we’ll cuddle at my apartment. Deal?”

He reluctantly layed his head back down and pouted as he agreed. He closed his eyes, everything still being too clear and bright around him to handle. He felt Namjoon’s lips kiss his forehead and heard footsteps walking away from him. Jungkook knew he didn’t have enough strength to stand, yet alone leave the apartment but he hated the powerless feeling. Just seeing the guy’s face made him like this and it made him want to scream. How dare that homophobic bastard hold that much power over him? It wasn’t fair.

After he heard the door being shut he opened his eyes up slowly to see Seokjin sitting on the floor beside the couch. The oldest boy offered him juice and he drank some from a straw. Jimin walked back over and let out a sigh as he sat in a kitchen chair that was now in the living room.

Jungkook handed Seokjin the empty cup. “How long was I out?”

“Maybe a couple minutes and then you fainted again when Namjoon just arrived.”

“I don’t remember it happening twice..”

“You still weren’t very alert so it makes sense if it wasn’t clear to you.”

“Did.. you call Namjoon Hyung?”

“Yes, but he was already heading over so he was able to be here pretty fast.”

“Oh.” He closed his eyes again.

“You should stop talking for now and just rest.” Jimin’s voice was stern but full of worry.

He listened to his friend and kept quiet. Jimin put pillows under his legs to elevate them to continue to help with the blood flow and stayed close in case he needed anything. He ended up dozing off for an hour and when he woke up he felt hungry. Jungkook felt a lot better as he sat up, Jimin still warning him to be cautious. He could smell food cooking and his stomach only growled more.

“Is Seokjin Hyung cooking?”

“Yeah, he just started. He went out quick to buy some beef to go with the side dishes your mom brought over.”

“Ah, that sounds good.” He placed his feet firmly on the floor and stood up with the help of Jimin. “I’m just gonna go to the bathroom.” He laughed to try to lighten the mood.

“What? Did you think I was gonna sit and watch you pee?”

“Possibly.”

“Go inside.” Jimin opened the bathroom door and closed it behind him.

Jungkook didn’t actually have to go to the bathroom but he needed a second alone. He looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. His hair was a mess and he still looked a little pale. He bit his lips to bring back some of it’s color and smoothed the back of his hair down. Now that he was feeling better he couldn’t help but feel ashamed about the whole thing. He could only imagine how difficult it was for his friends to see him suddenly stop functioning properly. They had to drop all the fun and take care of him. Jungkook wanted to apologize but also knew Jimin would be mad at him for thinking he was a burden. But this was new territory for him. Jungkook was no stranger to anxiety and panic attacks but fainting just from seeing a pixely picture of his attacker was not something he expected.

He stood in front of the mirror spacing out until he was scared by a sudden knock on the door.

“Jungkookie? The food is done.”

“Ah- Ok! I’ll be out.”

He opened the door and didn’t like the worried expression on his friend’s face. Jimin didn’t say anything about the long _“bathroom”_ break and he was grateful. Seokjin had prepared a plate for him and he felt comforted by the familiar taste of his mother’s cooking along with the tasty beef. He could feel Jimin’s worried eyes on him and he knew sooner or later his friend would speak up.

“Jungkookie. You still look pale. Let’s just go to the hospital.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll just keep my legs elevated if I feel dizzy again.”

The last thing Jungkook wanted was to be confined at a hospital. He knew Jimin only meant well but the idea of going to a hospital just brought him back to the moment he woke up in the hospital bed after he was attacked. He’d rather lay in bed with Namjoon and hold each other as they fell asleep. He wanted to feel safe and being in Namjoon’s arms gave him that.

Seokjin and Jimin cleaned up in the kitchen as Jungkook sat at the table sipping on some water. His heart almost flew out of his chest when there was a knock on the door. Jimin dried his hands off on a towel and answered the door. Namjoon and Yoohyeon walked inside and the younger boy immediately got out of his seat. Namjoon didn’t even have the chance to take off his shoes before Jungkook draped himself over him. The older boy hugged him back and ran his fingers lightly through his dark brown locks.

“You feeling better?”

“Yeah.” His voice was muffled against the older boy’s coat.

“Take him to your place.” Jimin’s voice came from behind him.

“Ok.” Namjoon nodded.

Jimin went to collect Jungkook’s coat for him. He smiled at his friend and pulled him in for a hug. “Thank you for worrying about me.”

“Don’t mention it.“ He laughed softly into the hug.

Seokjin had left with Yoohyeon, dropping her off at her girlfriend’s before he went home. Jungkook felt bad for leaving Jimin alone at the apartment but knew he’d feel uneasy without being held in Namjoon’s bed. They reached the apartment around five in the evening and the sun was already nearly gone. He lingered outside the building and looked at the sunset, Namjoon now noticing he had stopped walking. The older boy closed the distance between them and held his hand tight and when the sun disappeared from the sky he pulled him inside the building.

Jungkook smiled as soon as he stepped inside the apartment. He had missed it. It smelled like Namjoon and that alone made it so welcoming. After he took his shoes off he realized he didn’t bring a change of clothes, or anything else for that matter. But it wasn’t the worst possible thing, he could borrow something from Namjoon. Definitely not a bad thing at all.

“I’m gonna eat some ramen up quick. You already ate so you can lay down if you want.” The older boy said from the kitchen.

Jungkook was sitting on the velvet sofa holding a decorative pillow. “I’ll just be in here.” He leaned back comfortably.

He eyed a notebook on the side table and recognized it from the time he saw it in the studio. On the front in messy writing it said,  _lyrics_. Jungkook didn’t want to disrespect Namjoon’s privacy and look inside but he sat and wondered if he ever wrote something about him. Something romantic? Or maybe something a bit darker? Liking someone wasn't always rainbows and sunshine, Jungkook of all people knew that.

He had been lost in thought for awhile but snapped out of it when the older boy walked inside the living room with his cupped ramen. The older boy slurped loudly and Jungkook laughed as he saw a noodle hit Namjoon in the nose. Namjoon laughed back and he set the cup down and sat next to him.

“Did you want me to tell you how it went at the station?”

Jungkook’s smile faded and he looked at Namjoon seriously. “Yes.”

“Nothing major yet but they will be able to move forward on the investigation now. They asked Yoohyeon some questions but they’re going to be contacting the company she works at for further details.”

“Did she tell them about the gang?”

Namjoon nodded. “Yes. The good thing about that is the detective told me they have detectives undercover as gang members so they have a higher possibly of finding him now with the picture.”

Jungkook got the shivers at the new development. “That’s really good.”

“ _Really_ good. They’ll catch him soon, I know it.”

He finally felt some relief. “I want him behind bars.” He said with some grit.

“He will be.” Namjoon held his hand and he held it back tight.

They sat in silence for a few moments and Jungkook suddenly giggled. “Your ramen is gonna be cold.”

Namjoon got up and grabbed the cup. “Dammit..” He turned to Jungkook and let out a laugh.

Namjoon still finished off the soup even with it being lukewarm and headed to his bedroom with the younger boy afterwards. He opened up his dresser and held up a pajamas set, one blue and the other green.

“I may have gotten us matching pajamas…” Namjoon looked embarrassed as he handed the blue set to him.

Jungkook smiled at the white bird pattern. “This is so cheesy. I love it.”

“Really?” The older boy’s dimples deepened with his smile.

“Yes.”

Jungkook stared at Namjoon’s warm smile but couldn’t look away from those dimples. He took a couple steps forward and placed his hand on the older boy’s cheek. Namjoon stilled at his touch and he soon leaned in and kissed his dimples, a soft kiss on each cheek. When he pulled away he saw Namjoon had become flushed and it made him want to kiss his dimples every moment of every day.

“I’ve always wanted to do that.”

Namjoon stayed quiet but licked his lips as he looked at Jungkook. He watched as Namjoon’s gaze landed on his lips and he bit his bottom lip anticipating what he’d do. The older boy wasted no time, their lips crashing together desperately. Namjoon licked into his mouth and he moaned out. Jungkook let the older boy lead the kiss but soon pushed his tongue back against Namjoon’s and he smiled into the kiss. He held the older boy’s arms as he walked backwards onto the bed. He layed down and Namjoon loomed over him. Their lips never broke apart and he flinched as the older boy pressed his palm over his chest. His nipples visible from under his shirt, already erect and sensitive. He gasped as Namjoon rubbed his thumb over a nipple. His pants were starting to feel tight but he was caught off guard when he started to feel extremely dizzy.

“W-wait.” He panted.

Namjoon immediately pulled away. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have gone that far.” He frowned.

“N-no I’m dizzy.” Jungkook layed his head back down and tried to control his breathing.

“Oh. Uh, do you need anything?“

“Yeah can you please put a couple pillows under my feet, it helped when Jimin Hyung did that.”

“O-ok!” The older boy fled to the living room to grab the decorative pillows on the sofa.

Jungkook scooted up on the bed and layed his head down on Namjoon’s flat pillow. He had his eyes closed but peeked to see Namjoon in some kind of panicked worry as he came back inside the bedroom. He walked to the bed and lifted Jungkook’s feet to place the pillows underneath. He started to feel a little less dizzy and sighed out at the relief.

“Do you need anything else?”

“No, but I’d like if you’d come lay with me.”

“Ok.”

Jungkook could hear the smile in his voice. The mattress dipped down as Namjoon crawled onto the bed. He was surprised when he felt the older boy drape an arm over his chest and lay his head down on his shoulder. He opened his eyes and Namjoon somehow looked so small wrapped around him. He adjusted his body so he could get a better look at him and Namjoon only nuzzled closer to him. He tried to contain a squeal and pressed his lips into a line to stop himself. He had never seen the older boy so cute and even though he liked the direction things were going prior, this was just as good.

“Hyung you’re too cute right now I think I’ll faint again.”

Namjoon leaned on his elbow to look at Jungkook. “Don’t joke about that. You fainting scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry…” He pouted. “But is that why you’re super glued to me right now?”

Namjoon quietly nodded.

Jungkook pulled the older boy’s arm back over him and he layed back down and nuzzled his head on his chest. He placed his right hand on Namjoon’s head and softly played with his hair. He could feel the older boy’s body relax against him as he continued to run his fingers through his hair.

“Nobody has ever played with my hair like this.” Namjoon said lazily.

“Really?”

“Mm. Just my mom back when I was little.” He breathed out deeply. “It’s really nice.”

“Well, I’ll play with your hair whenever you want.”

“I’d like that.”

Jungkook continued to play with Namjoon’s hair until he heard his quiet steady breathing and knew he must’ve fallen asleep. He had stopped feeling dizzy awhile ago but finally kicked away the pillows, the angle becoming too awkward the longer he stayed in it. He turned over slightly and moved a few stray locks that had fallen into Namjoon’s eyes. He leaned down and kissed his forehead and layed back down and closed his eyes. He fell asleep with his fingers still tangled in Namjoon’s hair.

 

________________________________

 

Jungkook woke up a few hours later, needing to get up to pee. He layed there for a moment not wanting to get up since Namjoon looked so peaceful in his sleep. He waited as long as he could but as he tried to peel off the older boy’s arm from his torso, he drapped his leg over him. Jungkook panicked, not because Namjoon had trapped him like a rat but because now that Namjoon’s leg was drapped over him he could feel something hard against his leg.

Was this actually happening? He looked down to see Namjoon’s leg twisted around his and he sighed. He once again moved the older boy’s arm, this time even more carefully. But when he tried to move Namjoon’s leg he only twisted around him tighter. The hardness against his thigh becoming even more obvious now and when Namjoon moved he let out a breathy moan. Jungkook’s face became hot and it was now becoming even harder to hold in the pee. In one quick fluid motion he lifted the older boy’s leg and got out of the bed. He scurried to the bathroom and shut the door. He made it just in time, if he stayed a few seconds more he would’ve been a goner.

After he finished he looked at the time and saw that it was only nine in the evening. He didn’t feel nearly as tired now that he had more than one nap today. But Namjoon still seemed exhausted. He walked back into the room and had to immediately run back out. Namjoon was now sleeping on his back, which gave him a _very_ clear silhouette of the older boy’s hard-on through his loose pants. Jungkook leaned against the wall outside the bedroom door unsure of what to do.

The sane more logical side of him wanted to let his Hyung sleep while he stayed out in the living room reading a book. But the not so logical part of him wanted to go back in the bedroom and get a closer look. He mentally slapped himself for even thinking it and could feel his cheeks heat up already. He tried to reason with himself but curiosity got the best of him and he found himself walking back into the room.

He peeked around the doorway first to make sure Namjoon was still asleep. He saw the older boy’s still body and deemed it safe. He tiptoed into the bedroom and stood at the end of the bed. Both Jungkook and the older boy were still in their street clothes but since Namjoon always wore loose fitting pants he could get away with sleeping through a hard-on. Just looking at it made Jungkook’s stomach feel contorted and he tried to compose himself but was thrown off completely when he heard Namjoon start to talk in his sleep. He walked to the side of the bed to hear him better and cautiously tried to talk to his sleep talking boyfriend.

“What’d you say?” He whispered.

“Mmm Jung-jungkookie?”

“Yes, it’s me.”

Namjoon quietly moaned and Jungkook nearly spat out when he saw the older boy twitch in his pants.

“ _This is how I fucking die_.” He whispered as he escaped the room once more.

He bolted into the bathroom yet again and whimpered to himself embarrassed that he grew hard just from the sight of seeing Namjoon’s hard-on twitch. It wasn’t even exposed, completely hidden under all that fabric. But the fact that Namjoon reacted that way just by knowing it was him, how could he possibly keep his composure? There was no going back back now. It was too tight inside his jeans and he knew he wouldn’t be able to calm down until he touched himself.

“Am i really gonna do this?” He sighed.

Was he really going to masturbate in his first love’s slash current boyfriend’s bathroom as he was sleeping? Was this what everything in his life lead up to? He accepted his fate and unzipped his jeans and felt instant relief without the tightness around him. He was just about to slip his hand inside his underwear when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

“Jungkookie, you in there?”

He flinched so hard he almost fell onto the toilet. “Ah, uh yes! I’ll be out in a second.”

He weeped on the inside as he zipped up his jeans and felt the uncomfortable tightness yet again. He kept his shirt untucked and tried to camouflage the fact that he had an obvious bulge in his pants. When he opened the door he was surprised to see Namjoon in his green pajamas, cute with little trees as the pattern. The older boy was holding his blue set in his hands.

“Here. You can change into these.”

“Oh um thanks.”

Namjoon walked past him and smiled as he closed the door.

What just happened? Jungkook had glanced down before Namjoon closed the door and didn’t see a bulge in the older boy’s extremely loose pajama pants. How did he already not have it anymore? Was Jungkook the only one suffering now? He went into the bedroom and shut the door. He layed the pajamas on the bed and took off his shirt and replaced it with the pajama shirt. He unbuttoned his jeans again and quietly moaned as he slid them down his legs. The shirt was long and went past his butt but the fabric wasn’t thick so his bulge looked even more prominent underneath it. There was no way he could masturbate quickly enough now that Namjoon was awake. He pulled on the pajama pants and willed his hard-on to soften. He tried to think of things he hated.

 

  * He hated microwaves
  * He hated losing in a video game against Jimin
  * He hated that one old lady who grossly stared at him on his bus route to college in the morning
  * He hated when girls call him oppa
  * He hated that he was in his boyfriend's bedroom trying to think of things he hated but it literally not working



 

Jungkook frowned as he looked down and saw that he was nowhere near becoming soft yet. “Fuck.”

Namjoon knocked on the bedroom door. “Are you changed?”

He ran to the door and accidentally slammed his body too hard against it. “I uh, no! Don’t come in!” He said in a shrill voice.

“Are you alright? You hit the door pretty hard.” The older boy said concerned from the other side.

“I’m fine! I’m good! Just stay out there for awhile.”

“Jungkookie? Is everything ok? You sound a bit panicked.”

“Everything is fine!” He lied.

“Are you avoiding me because I touched you? Because if that’s it I’m really sorry, I should’ve asked you first if it was ok-”

“ _No_! That’s not it at all!“Jungkook felt bad that Namjoon brought that up again. “Please don’t think that, I-I liked it..”

“Then what is it?” He could hear the frown in the older boy’s voice.

“I’m… too embarrassed to say it.” He finally said.

“You can tell me anything. I won’t judge.”

“Ugh. Ok.” He sucked in a heavy breath before he spoke. “When I woke up to go to the bathroom I felt your hard-on against me and now I’m hard and it won’t go away.” He covered his mouth in embarrassment afterwards.

“ _Oh_.” Namjoon cleared his throat. “Do you, uh.. want me to help?”

“No I wouldn’t even last thirty seconds if you touched me.” He sqeaked out.

He flinched when he heard a dull thud on the door. “Jungkookie.. if you talk like that I’m gonna get hard again.” The older boy sighed.

His body felt hot and felt himself twitch inside his underwear. “ _Shit_.” He whispered. “Question. How did you even get rid of yours so quick?”

“I just thought of that jackass producer I work with and immediately went soft.”

“Nothing’s working for me.” He whimpered.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to-”

“No, I’d _actually_ die from embarrassment.”

“Uh do you want me to read you a book on physics? It could bore your hard-on away.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh. “Please, go right ahead.”

At first it didn’t seem to work because Namjoon’s reading voice was low and sexy but he tried to concentrate on the boring information and eventually he went soft. He let out a sigh.

“You can stop. I’m good now.”

“Can I come in?”

Jungkook opened the door slightly and peeked through the crack. Namjoon smiled at him warmly and it somehow made him feel a little bit less embarrassed. He opened the door fully and the older boy softly placed a hand on his shoulder.

“You look good in the pajamas.”

“You look good too.” He averted his eyes, not yet brave enough to look at Namjoon directly.

“I was going to make some tea. Did you want some?”

“Ah uh, sure.”

He followed the older boy into the small kitchen but stayed seated at the table as he waited. They were both quiet as the tea was prepared but it didn’t feel as awkward as Jungkook thought it would be. After the water boiled the older boy let their tea steep as he joined Jungkook at the table. He swirled the tea bag around in the mug to distract himself but Namjoon interrupted his spacing out.

“So, I was surprised to see Seokjin Hyung at your apartment.”

“Oh, Yoohyeon invited him over.”

“Were you guys gossiping? Like about Jimin and Hoseok Hyung?”

“Ah briefly. Turns out he likes Hoseok Hyung. I felt even worse because we watched the video he uploaded afterwards.”

“Oh, that. I watched that too.” He smirked.

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “Y-you..”

“I usually don’t watch every video of his, mostly because of time but you were in it so I watched it after I woke up from my nap.”

“Ok. Great.” He stood up. “Excuse me as I jump out of your bedroom window.” He dashed across the living room but was grabbed by Namjoon before he made it to the room.

“Wait!” He turned Jungkook around to look at him. “It’s not just you.”

“What?” The younger boy asked confused.

“I clearly remember that day. Every time you smiled at me in the hall I cherished it. My life was still hard back then but seeing you became a part of my day I enjoyed.“ Namjoon paused. “But when we met on the day you moved out.. there was no doubt that I was attracted to you.”

Jungkook blinked dumbly at the older boy. “You.. you liked me since then?”

“At first I thought of you as a cute little brother who would shyly smile at me but I was doomed the day we officially met in the elevator.” He chuckled.

Jungkook couldn’t believe what he heard. “I-I felt so stupid liking you all these years, l-like it was a waste of time. But y-you-”

Namjoon leaned in and softly kissed him, Jungkook whimpering into the kiss. “It wasn’t a waste. I _saw_ you.”

“I can’t believe it..” His bottom lip quivered.

“Jungkookie. I like you. And I have for _a while_.”

He held onto Namjoon’s shoulders. “Me too.” He whispered.

“And what you said in the video..” He held Jungkook’s face with both his hands. Namjoon leaned in so closely there lips nearly touched as he opened them to talk.

“Yes?” Jungkook breathed out.

“You’re welcome.”

They closed the distance between themselves and kissed each other sweetly. Jungkook felt like his body was about to float away but was grounded when Namjoon placed a hand on his hip. They kissed until their lips became numb and stared at each other in a happy daze. Jungkook swore he was in a dream, still sleeping tangled up in that bed. But no, he wasn’t. Namjoon was right there and this was real.


	27. You're My Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An assertive Jungkook and cuddles 2.0

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On Twitter I announced that this fic will now be updated once a week instead of twice! I've become too busy and started to stress myself out trying to get two chapters out a week. I hope you understand! 
> 
> ❤-Bee

Namjoon and Jungkook stayed up until two in the morning watching indie movies on Netflix and ended up falling asleep on the couch. He woke up with his neck cranked in an awkward position, massaging it as he moved his head. The older boy usually woke up before him but Namjoon was still asleep, using his arm as a pillow. Jungkook’s arm was numb from the weight of Namjoon’s head but he was reluctant to move, wanting to look at the sleeping boy. The older boy’s cheek was squished against his arm and all he wanted to do was poke it. Somehow Namjoon’s lips looked even softer as he slept and Jungkook couldn’t control himself as he leaned in to kiss him gently. But after a moment he stirred in his sleep and the younger boy pulled away.

“Mmmorning” Namjoon groaned out.

“Oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Namjoon’s eyes lazily opened then closed again. After a few moments he lifted his head and rubbed his eyes. “It’s ok. But shit, I left my contacts in.”

Jungkook finally had his arm freed as they both sat up. “Are your eyes ok?”

“It’s really dry. I’ll be back I need to take these out.”

Jungkook quietly nodded as he was left alone on the couch. He looked at the analog clock on the wall and saw that it was a five minutes to eleven. He stood up and folded the fuzzy blanket they used to sleep with and neatly placed it on the arm of the couch. He sat down again and fiddled with the buttons on his pajama shirt as he waited.

Jungkook wasn’t expecting it but Namjoon walked out of his room wearing a pair of black thick rimmed glasses and he didn’t understand how the older boy became even hotter, even when he still wore the cute pajamas.

Namjoon adjusted his glasses as he stood awkwardly. “I’ve been trying so hard to not let you see me in these glasses but.. ” He trailed off.

“No, you look hot in glasses.” Jungkook said matter of factly.

The older boy bit his bottom lip. “I thought they made me look nerdy, like I was fulfilling the _genius dude_ stereotype.”

“You look like a nerd, but a hot one.”

“I haven’t even had my coffee yet I can’t handle you calling me hot as soon as I wake up.” He sighed as he ran his fingers through his messy hair.

“What about _after_ coffee?” Jungkook smirked.

“Jungkookie you’ve suddenly become so assertive, what happened?” Namjoon scratched his head.

“Hmm.” He thought to himself. “I don’t know, just knowing you’ve liked me a long time too gave me a confidence boost I guess.” He smiled.

Namjoon walked over and leaned over the seated boy. “What am I gonna do with you?”

Jungkook straightened his back. “Why don’t you just shut me up then?” He stared up at Namjoon directly in the eyes, daring him to make a move.

“Mm.. Guess I’ll have to.”

Namjoon grabbed the side of Jungkook’s neck and pulled him into a kiss. The older boy’s lips felt a bit waxy against his, he wondered if Namjoon put on chapstick when he went into his room prior. He could taste peppermint as he quickly licked his lips as they separated to breathe. Namjoon pulled him in again but this time he bit his bottom lip and tugged it. Jungkook whined at the action and the older boy seemed pleased by the response. He released Jungkook’s lip but ran his tongue over the indentations his teeth left. He shivered and braced himself for more but Namjoon gave him a quick peck then stepped away.

“That should keep you quiet for a bit, right?”

Jungkook’s face was visibly red and he pouted as he nodded. Namjoon looked proud of himself and said he’d be in the kitchen making coffee. The older boy called him in when it was ready and they sat together at the table like they had the night before.

Jungkook took a sip of the coffee and closed his eyes as the warmth spread throughout his body. When he opened his eyes Namjoon was smiling at him.

“Last night we completely neglected the tea I made.” He laughed. “They were still on the table when I came in here.”

“Seriously?” Jungkook laughed into the mug.

“We literally can’t focus on anything when we’re together.”

“Just on each other.”

“ _Ohhh_. Smooth.” Namjoon chuckled.

“I try.”

They finished their coffee and Jungkook decided he would go back to his apartment to shower since he didn’t even have clothes to change into. Namjoon said he could borrow some from him but he wasn’t mentally prepared to wear a pair of Namjoon’s boxers just yet. The older boy offered to drive him over and in the car he checked his phone and saw it was very low on battery. Before shutting it off he looked at a message he received from Mingyu.

 

**Mingyu**

9:06am

_Minghao and I took a last minute trip to see a friend in Jeju so I’m sorry I’m only sending this now! We got a text from Jimin last night about you fainting.. we hope you’re feeling ok._

 

**Me**

sent 11:48am

_I’m feeling better thanks ^^ Don’t worry about me and have fun in Jeju!!_

 

He shut his phone off and smiled to himself, touched that his friends sent a message even when they were traveling. When they arrived at his apartment Namjoon told him to text him when he was done. The older boy said he should hang out with Jimin before he stole him away for the day. Jungkook agreed, still feeling bad for leaving his friend alone after everything. They kissed goodbye and Namjoon drove away.

Jungkook was not expecting to see a very hung over Jimin nursing his coffee at the table when he got inside. His roommate didn’t notice him right away and that worried the younger boy instantly.

“Jimin Hyung?” He slipped off his shoes and made his way to the table.

“Huh? Oh. Hi Jungkookie.” He meekly drank his coffee.

“What the hell happened?”

Jimin finally looked at him steadily. “I went over to Hoseok Hyung’s last night.”

“That.. doesn’t sound good. How did it happen?” He pulled out a chair and sat beside his friend.

“He texted me about the video he uploaded and I told him about you fainting then going over to Namjoon Hyung’s.” He sighed. “He invited me over for some drinks. We drank a lot of beer.. well, him not nearly as much as me because he's a lightweight, wait, I'm rambling.“

“It's ok but, did something..”

“You know how touchy I am but how I’m even worse when I’m drunk, right?”

Jungkook nodded. “Yeah.”

“Well, I think I had my hand on his thigh and next thing I know.. he’s unzipping my pants.”

“What?!” He slammed his hands on the table. “Did you stop him?”

Jimin averted his eyes. “No…”

“Wait. Are you telling me Hoseok Hyung gave you a blowjob?”

“Maybe.”

“Who says they _don’t_ like someone and then goes and sucks their dick? All in the same day?” Jungkook sputtered out.

Jimin laughed weakly. “We didn’t kiss or anything, it pretty much ran like a hook-up.” He frowned as he took a sip of his coffee.

“I’m sorry..”

“What’s worse is after I, ya know, _finished_ , he immediately fell asleep. I bolted and took a taxi home. But now I’m freaking out because he’ll either not remember that it happened or remember and act normally. Either way I’m fucked.”

“Shit. I don’t know what to say to help..”

“Nothing would really help to be honest.”

Jungkook slumped down into the chair. “Well, if this ends up just being a one time thing it shouldn’t strain your friendship too much right?” He said wishfully.

Jimin shrugged. “I think I need to actually get laid.”

“So, talking to him isn’t the answer but getting laid is?”

“I don’t know! This is way too complicated now! I have no idea what the right thing to do is.”

“You could just out right say you don’t want to be _‘friends with benefits’_.”

Jimin stared at him blankly for a few moments then nodded. “That’s…yeah. That seems ok.”

They sat quietly at the table until Jimin got up to clean his mug in the sink. He turned around to look at Jungkook and crossed his arms as he leaned against the counter.

“So, how was _your_ night?”

“Good.”

“How so?” He narrowed his eyes at him.

“A lot… happened?”

“Jungkookie you’re gonna need to elaborate on that.”

“Uhhhh.“ Jungkook moved around in his seat until Jimin’s glare made him break. "He told me he saw Hoseok Hyung’s video.. and I tried escaping because I’m stupid.” He looked up to see Jimin nodding at the self dig. “But he stopped me and told me he liked me for a long time.”

“How long..?”

“He said he was always happy to see me in the hall at the old apartment and he thought of me as a little brother then but.. when we met on my moving day,” He paused and smiled. “He said there was no doubt that he was attracted to me.”

“I knew it!” Jimin cheered. “I saw the way Namjoon Hyung looked at you the first time I met him. It didn’t look like a new interest but something that had been long-term.”

“How do you even notice something like that?” He asked dumbfounded.

“Body language tells people a lot..” He narrowed his eyes at the younger boy. “Just like I know something else happened but you’re trying to hide it.”

Jungkook whined out in annoyance. “I literally can’t keep anything from you.”

“Why do you always act like this is new information? It’s been like this for years.” Jimin laughed.

He covered his face embarrassed that he had to relive the events from the night before. “We napped together and I woke up with his hard-on against my leg.”

Jimin burst out laughing. “What did you do?”

“Uh I don’t wanna go into too much detail but then _I_ had one.. but he woke up before I could do anything about it.”

“So, does this mean you two finally fucked?”

“Hyung!” Jungkook’s face was red. “No way! I tried hiding it from him but in the end we both waited it out until I was soft..”

“Wait, you _actually_ have a boyfriend but you’re over here hiding your dick from him?”

“But I wouldn’t have lasted thirty seconds!” He pouted. “He offered to help me but I just _couldn’t_..”

Jimin’s expression softened. “Are you afraid to?”

Jungkook nodded and frowned. “I’ve never been intimate with anyone. And I know he’s experienced.”

“You don’t have to have sex with him right away Jungkookie. I doubt he’d be upset about taking things slow anyway.”

“I know that. It’s just frustrating because I _want_ to but I also _don’t_? Does that make sense?"

“Yeah, I get it. You’re only this worried because you care about him so much. It’s good you’re thinking before you do something you regret. Ha.. like me.”

“I’m sorr-”

“No don’t start. It’s my problem so I’ll handle it. As for you, you can talk to Namjoon Hyung when you’re ready, alright?”

“I will.”

They talked for over an hour before Namjoon sent Jungkook a text asking if he wanted him to bring lunch over instead of them going out. Now that he realized the time his stomach started growling.

“You hungry?”

“Now that you mention it.. yeah.”

“Namjoon Hyung could bring some food over.”

“But you two should be going out together, ya know, being a grossly cute couple.” He teased.

“What if I want to hang out with you too?”

Jimin smiled warmly at the younger boy. “Well..”

“It’s settled. What do you want to eat?”

“Hmm pizza?”

Jungkook texted his boyfriend to bring pizza over and he got a thumbs up and heart emoji in reply. Namjoon arrived twenty minutes later and he contained a squeal when he saw the older boy still wearing his glasses. Jimin complimented Namjoon as Jungkook tried not to stare. He soon noticed the older boy looking at Jimin with a concerned face but tried to hide it once he saw Jungkook staring at him. After Jimin was already munching down on a slice he said he needed to talk to Namjoon for a minute and pulled him aside. He dragged him in his room and shut the door.

“What’s going on?”

Namjoon scratched the back of his head and averted his eyes. “Ah.. I’m really no good with secrets..” He sighed. “Hoseok Hyung texted me about Jimin and he was freaking out because he thinks he messed up their friendship.”

“So, you know what happened..”

“The gist of it, yeah. He's trying to figure out how to talk to him about it.."

“Jimin Hyung wasn’t doing so great this morning because he was worried over the same thing. Is that why you offered to bring food over?”

“Yes. I didn’t want to take his moral support away from him so I figured we might as well all eat together.”

“That’s really sweet.”

Moments like these reminded Jungkook why he liked the older boy so much. Namjoon was so giving and considerate to other people, never wanting anything in return. He slowly laced their fingers together and pulled Namjoon's arm down so they became level.

“Thank you.”

He leaned in and kissed him softy. Namjoon brushed the hair out of Jungkook’s face and held the back of his neck as he smiled into the kiss. Jungkook pulled away to look at him.

“What are you smiling for?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I think I’m just a little extra happy every time you kiss me first.”

“Oh, _well_.” Jungkook once again pulled Namjoon in for a kiss, quick but sweet. Jungkook smirked at him as he headed for the door. “Let’s go back out before the pizza gets cold.”

The older boy looked bashful as he silently followed Jungkook out of the bedroom. Jimin was happily eating his second slice of pizza when they made it to the table. The pizza was finished quickly and they realized it was already two in the afternoon. Jungkook was sitting on the couch too full to move when Namjoon announced he got a text from Seokjin.

“He’s inviting us over for dinner tonight. You too, Jimin.”

“Is Seokjin Hyung cooking?” Jungkook became giddy.

“Yeah. He’s probably gonna go all out since it’s his own kitchen.”

“I’m so full but I’m already salivating.”

Jimin laughed. “Jungkookie calm down.”

“Good thing it’s at six, that way you can make room for it.”

“I won’t snack at all!” He raised his hand as a pledge.

“Jungkookie? Without his snacks? I’ll believe it when I see it.” Jimin cackled.

“I _have_ noticed he always has food on him..” Namjoon thought out loud.

“Before the dinner you two should have some time together.”

“We don’t mind staying with you.” Namjoon said.

“No, you deserve it before having to hang out with us later. I can only imagine beer will be involved so take some peace where you can get it.”

Namjoon looked over to Jungkook for an answer and he sighed as he stood up. “Ok.”

“We can come by and pick you up when it’s time.” The older boy offered.

“Thank you. Now, get going Lover boy!”

Namjoon blushed at the nickname but couldn’t deny that it was cute. “Ok, we’re leaving!”

Jimin rushed them out while giggling and Namjoon almost crashed into the floor as he struggled to slip on his sneakers. As they were in the elevator Namjoon let out a laugh.

“He’s so pushy. In a good way though.”

“You see the good side of it. He’s pushy but like a mom with me. Everyone treats me like a baby.”

“Hmm, but you’re _my_ baby.”

Jungkook scowled at him with a pout. “You can’t just let me know before you say shit like that?” He turned away trying to hide the pink dusting his cheeks.

“It’s more fun this way.”

“Glad you’re having so much fun.” He sulked.

Namjoon took a step and stood in front of Jungkook, his gaze demanding attention. “Baby?”

The younger boy immediately looked up but couldn’t even get a word in before Namjoon pressed a finger over his lips. Jungkook closed his eyes on reflex but they shot back open when the elevator doors opened. An old woman stood at the doors with wide eyes, Namjoon still having his finger over Jungkook’s lips. They all stood frozen in place until Namjoon boldly clasped the younger boy’s hand and lead them out of the elevator. The older women gawked at them but Jungkook was in a fit of laughter at comical look on her face.

Once outside Namjoon couldn’t hold his laughter in anymore and they both laughed on the sidewalk. A few people walked by looking at them like they were crazy and it only made them laugh harder. It took quite a few minutes to calm themselves before they made it to the car. Jungkook let out a giggle as they drove off.

“She looked like she saw a ghost.”

“And those two guys? I swear they thought we were drugged up or something.”

“So..” He cleared his throat. “What’s the plan for the next four hours?”

“I have no idea. Um, we could watch a movie?”

“I’d be tempted to get popcorn..”

“Oh, right. No snacks.” Namjoon chuckled.

“What can we do that wouldn’t tempt me in eating something?”

“Other than sleeping? I’m at a loss.”

“We already had our nap date though.”

“Why can’t we have another…”

“I feel like I’d lose more time with you if we slept again.”

“Yeah.. me too.” Namjoon shyly smiled at the younger boy. “We could just talk?”

“While cuddling?”

“I love the sound of that.” His eyes squinted as he smiled.

Once at the apartment complex Jungkook happily lead the way up to Namjoon’s floor, holding his hand even when a couple down the hall saw them. The older boy was delighted at the confidence Jungkook continued to show and he let him drag him inside the apartment once he unlocked it. Jungkook cutely hopped around the apartment after shedding off his shoes and winter coat gathering pillows and the extra blanket.

“Jungkookie, what are you doing?”

“I want this to be the cosiest cuddle so we’ll need more pillows and this fuzzy blanket.”

Namjoon hung up his coat and slowly followed behind, melting at the cuteness. “Why is he so fucking cute..” He whispered.

Jungkook blushed but pretended not to hear and called from the bedroom. “What’d you say?”

“I’ll be right there!”

Jungkook placed the pillows around Namjoon’s flat ones and threw the blanket on top of the older one. He looked over his work and approved. Once Namjoon walked into the room he gestured towards the bed.

“Tada!”

“Hmm.“ He stared at the bed. “Almost perfect.”

“Almost?” Jungkook's eyebrows furrowed.

“Just a second.”

Namjoon walked over to him with a smirk and swiftly wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s torso and lifted him up. The younger boy yelped as Namjoon dropped them both onto the bed and they bounced against the mattress.

“Ok, _now_ it’s perfect.”

He giggled as Namjoon brushed his bangs out of his eyes. “I have to agree.”

Jungkook stopped the older boy’s hand and interlocked them, both of them smiling sweetly as each other. The position was awkward after awhile so they moved to the top of the bed and layed down on the pillows. He turned to see Namjoon taking off his glasses and he pouted.

“Why are you taking them off?”

“Ah, well.. I have crushed too many glasses laying down in them so I’m taking a precaution.”

“Wait, can you even see me clearly?”

Namjoon quickly scooted over and their faces were only centimeters apart. “If I stay this close I can see you perfectly.”

He placed a hand on the younger boy’s cheek and he stroked against his jaw with his thumb. Jungkook’s eyes flickered closed for a moment at the touch. He leaned into Namjoon’s hand as he opened his eyes. He felt so calm, comforted by the warmth of the blankets around him and his boyfriend’s soft touch. He frowned when the older boy’s hand pulled away and he saw Namjoon sit up slightly.

“I should take my phone out of my pocket otherwise that’ll get crushed too.” He shook his head at himself.

“Wait.” Jungkook suddenly thought of something. “Can we.. take a selfie together?”

“Right now?” Namjoon fidgeted with his phone.

“If that’s alright with you?”

“Yeah, I’ve– I never did that with past lovers, taking selfies.”

“Why not?”

“You know I don’t have a lot of confidence in my looks so I always opted out.”

“But… you’re ok with it now?”

Namjoon gazed down at Jungkook and his eyes turned into crescent moons. “Yeah. I’d like it as a background on my phone actually.”

“Me too.” He blushed.

“So, how do you want it taken?”

“Of us laying down like we were.” Jungkook pulled on the older boy’s arm wanting him on his back again. Namjoon obeyed and they layed their heads down on the same pillow. He held his phone above his head and opened up the camera but instead of hearing a click noise for the camera it was a ding, the noise for video.

“Oh _dammit_ , it’s because I can’t clearly see the screen.” Namjoon grumbled and Jungkook laughed. The older boy tried exiting out of the recording but he stopped him.

“No let’s keep the video going, move it sideways.”

“Oh, uh ok.” The video captured their slight awkwardness but visually they popped on the screen in their black outfits against the white bedding. There was something nicer about seeing it captured in motion instead of a still image. He could actually see Namjoon sneak a glance at him and his nervous fussing over the pillow underneath them. It was undeniably cute and made him want to start a collection of cute videos of the older boy to look at whenever he needed an energy boost.

“Let’s ask each other one question we’ve always wanted to know.”

“For this video thing?”

“Yeah, ask me something.”

“Hmmm.” Namjoon thought for a few moments then looked to Jungkook with a smile. “When did you know you liked me? I know it was since you were fifteen but what exactly was it that made you realize?”

“Oh, _that_.” He cleared his throat. “Well, it wasn’t until I became friends with Tae. He barely talked about you but with the few things I learned I wrote up a list. But I didn’t even know your name so I called you _Thighs_ boy. I was embarrassing, I know.” He fiddled with his hair.

“You made a list about me?” He couldn’t contain his goofy smile. “ _And_ called me _Thighs_ boy?”

“Yes, I did. But oh my god when you called me _Abs_ boy when we ate out that one time I had war flashbacks.”

“ _Thighs_ boy and _Abs_ boy, huh?”

“We sound like gay super heroes.”

Namjoon bursted out laughing. “That’s amazing. We need our own comics.”

“I’d read it in a heartbeat.”

“So, what about you? What do you want to ask me?” Namjoon turned his head to look at Jungkook but quickly looked back to the phone to see they were out of the frame.

Jungkook’s eyes shifted around as he knew what he wanted to ask but felt embarrassed to say it out loud. “It’s… about kissing…”

“Kissing? Are you trying to tell me I suck at it?” He laughed.

“No, more like I’m asking if _I_ suck?”

“What? No! You’re a really good kisser.”

Jungkook bit on his lip to contain his smile. “Oh.” He let out a nervous laugh. “I never uh, kissed like that before so I wasn’t sure.”

Namjoon lowered the phone and leaned towards Jungkook. “Kissed like.. with tongue?” He raised an eyebrow.

He covered his face with his hands. “I’ve never done more than a peck. That’s why so many girls dumped me in high school.”

“Well, I didn’t notice that inexperience. I guess you learn fast.”

He was surprised to hear that, thinking his nerves were obvious. “I didn’t seem nervous? Because I _definitely_ was.”

“Our first couple kisses I could tell you were a bit nervous but it was cute.”

Jungkook moved his hands away from his face. “But cute in a, fumbling mess kind of way or..?”

“Cute as in you were cute. You seemed like you were holding back too so I don’t know.. I was excited to see when you’d eventually kiss me with some confidence, which you have since. And it was great.”

“Ughhh I can’t believe I actually asked you that.”

“I’m glad you did.” He held up his phone again. “Oh, it’s still recording.”

“Let me see that.” The younger boy grabbed the phone and held it above them. “Let’s end it here.” He leaned over and kissed Namjoon on the cheek and waved goodbye to the camera, the older boy also waving. He ended the recording and switched the mode. “I still want a selfie together.”

“Yeah, it’ll be better if you take it. Otherwise it’d be blurry.”

“Ok. Move your head closer to mine, a little more…” Namjoon followed the direction and smiled wide. _Click_.

“I wanna pick a pose.”

“What kind?”

“I’m greedy and want one of us kissing.”

Jungkook blushed. “If that’s what you want..” He made sure they were in focus before he leaned in and kissed his boyfriend on the lips. _Click_.

“I want to see!” Namjoon cutely demanded.

Jungkook went to the gallery in the phone and clicked on the latest pictures. Their kiss filled the screen and he was surprised at how well it came out. He swiped to the next and it was an adorable picture of them laying close together. Namjoon’s dimples were in plain sight and Jungkook’s nose crinkled as he smiled. “These are nice.”

“Kinda interesting to see what it looks like when we kiss.Your side profile looks so nice.” He sat up fully and put on his glasses. “Can I see that?” Jungkook handed him back his phone and a minute later it was handed back to him.

He looked at the screen and couldn’t believe it. “Oh my god? You put the kissing one as your background?!”

“Yeah, nobody can question this and ask if you're my brother or something.” He looked smug. “You can use the cuter picture as a background, I’ll text it to you.”

“Ok..” He smiled at the phone and felt pride as he looked at the picture. Namjoon wanted people to know they were together, so much so that he’d have such a photo for anyone to see. He felt touched. “Thank you..”

Namjoon looked at him as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “What for?”

Jungkook sat up and folded his legs. “For just, being with me.”

The older boy’s gaze softened. “I should be the one saying thank you.” He took the phone out of Jungkook’s hand and replaced it with his hand. “I’ve been relying on you for so much since my birthday. You listen to my troubles, but won’t let me be too hard on myself. You ate my crappy cooking and layed with me in the grass. Really, I should be saying thank you instead.” Jungkook stared at Namjoon’s eyes as they began to water but the older boy pushed his glasses up and rubbed his eyes before any tears could fall.

“But I have to thank you too, Hyung. When I first realized I was gay it was confusing but I felt like I was finally home. Being with you feels like that too, like I found another home.”

The tears that threatened to fall down Namjoon’s cheeks now did. He tried to quickly wipe them away but Jungkook pulled Namjoon close and kissed each tear that fell. “I’ve – I always wanted –” Namjoon fumbled over his words. “I thought I’d never.. have a home.” The older boy hiccuped as he tried to stop his tears, Jungkook holding his face in his hands. Namjoon closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “I’ve finally found it.” He opened his eyes, his eyelashes wet and clumped together. He looked at Jungkook with his glistening eyes and the younger boy knew the words he would say next and he heart swelled even before the words fell from his lips.

“You’re my home.”

 

 

 

______________________________________


	28. A Pleasure To Meet You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange strangers and card games

As a child Jungkook thought he lived a good life. His brother bullied him sometimes but he saw brother's love for him when he cried in worry when Jungkook got cut on his cheek during a childhood argument they had, the scar still with him today. His parents loved him, his dad was his best friend and his mother was someone strong he looked up to. His life wasn’t perfect but he knew he had it good. He never felt like there wasn’t a place that didn’t welcome him or push him away. He knew he was lucky. Having Namjoon call him home made his insides cry out for the older boy. Namjoon didn’t have it as lucky as he did but they found each other. They've created a place of no rejection or malice, only love and openness. All Jungkook wanted to do was share with Namjoon what the boy deserved all along. A place to belong.

Jungkook knew it technically wasn’t just him that could give Namjoon that, their growing group of friends being proof. But he himself never felt like he had a strong sense of purpose in life. That was until he knew he could bring a smile to Namjoon’s face. After the older boy stopped crying they stayed seated on the bed with their fingers laced together. He was almost scared by how much he felt for the older boy now. It had been years that lead them to this moment and it was surreal thinking he could possibly love him more than he thought he already did. _Love_. Was that was it was? He thought it was perhaps too soon for that. But, hadn’t it always been love?

Two weeks they had been dating and he wondered if he was crazy for calling it love. He shook his head at himself and the older boy noticed.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, Hyung I’m just thinking too much.”

Namjoon narrowed his eyes at him. “How so?”

Jungkook whined out and fell on top of the older boy, hugging him tight. “It’s nothing. I just like you a lot.” Yeah, _a lot_.

Namjoon wrapped his arms around him and kissed the side of his head. “I like you a lot too.”

“God, we’re so mushy.” He giggled.

“I like it. I’ve never been like this in other relationships.”

Jungkook slowly pulled away. “Really? It seems to come pretty naturally to you..”

The older boy looked to the ceiling as he thought to himself. “Hmm, well. To be honest most of my past relationships were more physical than emotional. And if anyone wanted to be more emotional with me I closed them off. Probably why it never worked out.” He held onto Jungkook’s hand. “So, this is very new to me.”

Jungkook stared at him dumbfounded. Did he hear that right? Is Namjoon experiencing something new and it’s with _him_? Jungkook was worried about his inexperience but now he realized he wasn’t alone. He smiled at the older boy and tightly held his hand back. He wasn’t experienced physically _or_ emotionally relationship wise but it was beyond comforting to know they’d both work on it together. That’s what a relationship should be, right?

With an hour and a half to spare they decided to go out and buy snacks for the party. It ended up being a form of torture as they walked into the candy aisle and he knew he’d have to wait a few hours before he could eat any of the sweets.

“Hyung this was a bad idea, I’m gonna end up buying it all.”

“I won’t let you then.” Namjoon chuckled.

He pouted as he grabbed a bag of gummy candy. “Ah, you sound like Jimin Hyung.”

The older boy stood behind him and leaned in close. “I’m not like Jimin at all.” He breathed down the back of Jungkook’s neck and his body twitched. Namjoon stepped away with an evil grin and he glared as the older boy waved his hand. “I’ll be back I’m grabbing some soda for Tae.”

He grumbled to himself as he filled the cart with junk food. “He’s going to pay for my snacks.. thinking he could do that in the middle of the store.” He went to grab a bag of chips but they fell through his fingers and hit the floor. He let out an annoyed sigh as he was about to bend over to pick it up but was surprised when a stranger did so for him. He shot up straight and began to thank the person but was perplexed the moment he laid eyes on the man.

An older man stood in front of him. He looked tough but he smiled at Jungkook. “Uh, thank you for getting that.” The younger boy fumbled.

“No problem.”

Jungkook had a strange feeling as he looked at the man’s eyes and thought they somehow seemed familiar. He was caught off guard once more when the man handed him the bag of chips and he saw a tattoo on the top of his hand, a realistic roach in shades of grey. The man laughed at Jungkook’s shocked reaction.

“You’re probably wondering, _why a tattoo of a roach?_ ” He stared at Jungkook with piercing eyes and the younger boy felt himself begin to sweat. “You see, roaches can survive anything. They even outlived the dinosaurs! Amazing, right?“ Jungkook silently nodded at the man. “I’d say roaches are my spirit animal. Much cooler than a lion that can be tamed and put in a cage. You think you killed the roach in your kitchen only to find it in your cereal box the next morning. That’s persistence and a different kind of strength, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, sure.” His eyes shifted looking for Namjoon.

“Well, I should probably leave now but it was a pleasure to meet you, Jungkook.”

The man leisurely walked away as Jungkook felt his body become stiff. How the fuck did that man know his name? He panicked as he abandoned his cart full of snacks and ran in the opposite direction to find Namjoon. As he turned the corner he slammed into someone. He was relieved to see it was Namjoon, who was cursing at the bottles of coke that fell to the floor. When their eyes locked Namjoon’s expression became full of worry.

“Jungkookie, what happened?”

“There was this– this older man. He was really strange and when he left he said my name and I-I never gave him my name.”

“Did he hurt you?” Namjoon looked over Jungkook furiously for cuts or bruises.

“No he just.. talked to me.”

“We need to go to the police station.”

“What? Why? Nothing _actually_ happened.”

“He knew your name, that’s enough. I’m not taking any chances because I will _not_ let you get hurt again.”

Jungkook felt bad for the staff but they left everything they had planned to buy abandoned in the cart in the candy aisle. Namjoon held onto Jungkook’s hand as they left the store and walked out. His grip was tight and a bit uncomfortable but he knew Namjoon was scared and wanted him close. They drove to the station and had to wait awhile to see the detective working on their case. Finally after what felt like hours of waiting (which felt even worse in hard wooden chairs) they were called in by a secretary.

Detective Jung sat at his desk that was covered in piles of papers, some organized, some not. “I’m sorry you two had to wait.”

Jungkook was happy to sit in a cushioned chair. “It’s ok, you seem busy.”

The young man sighed. “It’s been a struggle but our men are working hard on this case.” He removed the pen from behind his ear. “But do you have any new information for me?”

He gulped. “Uh, yes.” He glanced at Namjoon and the older boy gave him a reassuring nod. “There was a man who approached me, he knew my name. I’d never seen him before and he was.. strange.”

“Strange how?”

“He had a tattoo of a roach on his hand and he talked to me about how they survive everything.”

“Can you give me a description of the man?”

“Yes.” He nervously held his hands in his lap. “He was an older man, maybe in his fifties. About 182cm tall with very short black hair. He didn’t seem too skinny but it was hard to tell because of the winter coat he wore. And the roach tattoo on top his hand, it was more to the side near his pointer finger and thumb.“

The detective nodded. “I’ll have you look at some pictures we have to make sure we have a match.”

“Y-you know the guy I’m talking about?”

“I’ll be back with photos and then I’ll be able to tell you.” He excused himself as his assistant offered them coffee, Namjoon agreeing to a cup.

Five or so minutes passed before he returned. The young man came back with a manilla envelope and opened it once he sat down. He placed the photos on the messy desk and Jungkook stood up to get a better look. He bit the inside of his mouth as he looked over the pictures. It was the same man, the only difference being that his hair was a little longer.

“That’s him.”

Namjoon stood up to look at the photos as well and grimaced now that he had a face to the person who scared his boyfriend. The older boy narrowed his eyes on the detective. “Who is he?”

“Please, sit down.”

Namjoon huffed as he sat and Jungkook took his seat and waited for detective Jung to elaborate.

“His name is Cho Seokwoo and he is a gang leader. More specifically he’s the leader of the most powerful gang in Seoul, one we’ve been trying to take down for a decade.”

Jungkook’s throat felt like it’d might close up. He quickly grabbed Namjoon’s coffee and downed it. “Why.. would he know who I am?”

The young man collected the photos and placed them inside the envelope again. “My only thought is… it could be connected to your attacker. Perhaps that’s the gang he joined. And he somehow got the leader interested in his vendetta against you both.”

“So, you still don’t know what gang that piece of shit is in? Even with undercover cops?” Namjoon spat out.

“There are many gangs in Seoul unfortunately, so it’s not that simple. And we weren’t expecting that he may join the biggest gang in the city because it’s extremely hard to get into. We only very recently got one of our guys in, _just_ one. We can usually get up to five men on the inside but Cho Seokwoo won’t let just anyone into his domain.”

“So..” Jungkook hesitated. “What do we do?”

“Nothing for now. But this does help in narrowing down the location of your attacker. Since we do have one person on the inside we can begin planning a way to draw him out, that is if my hunch is correct. If luck’s in our favor we may be able to take Cho Seokwoo down too.”

“What do you mean nothing? Isn’t Jungkook a sitting duck?” Namjoon began to raise his voice.

“We can’t do anything because he didn’t outwardly threaten you. I’m sorry. But if you see him again please contact us immediately.”

“You must be kidding me.” Namjoon scoffed. “Are you telling us to sit here while my boyfriend could get another unexpected visit? You want that gang leader to threaten him first before you can protect him? What if he shows up with a knife? What then?” His face was red from his shouting and Jungkook reached his hand out to calm the older boy.

“It’s not in my jurisdiction to send our men to stake out where you live unless you had received a threat. My hands are tied. I’m just as frustrated as you and want this taken care of and for nobody else to get hurt. But I can’t change the law when I see fit.” The detective’s voice was stern but sincere.

Jungkook stood up. “Thank you for taking the time to see us detective Jung. I’ll contact you if anything else happens.” He grabbed Namjoon’s arm and saw the scowl on his face.

“You’re welcome. We will update you with any new information as well.”

He bowed before he left, tugging Namjoon along. Once outside Jungkook turned to look at the older boy and frowned.

“Hyung, he shouldn’t be the one we’re mad with.”

Namjoon sighed. “I know.. but it’s just so frustrating. And scary.” He looked at the younger boy and held onto his arm. “I don’t understand why you have to be targeted when I’m the one who that piece of shit has issues with.”

“It was all under the assumption that we are dating so, it’s not that wild. Isn’t that common? Attack the ones they care for?” He bit his lip nervously as it truly sank in.

“Fuck. This is why I thought being friends was better… I don’t want you being in the middle of my mess.“ He looked at the ground ashamed to look Jungkook in the eye.

“That literally doesn’t matter. He already thought we were together before we actually were. Nothing will change that, so don’t you dare think about breaking up with me.” He said with pain in his voice.

Namjoon’s expression was full of regret. “I’m sorry. I’m just.. I don’t know what to do.”

Jungkook took a step forward and clasped the older boy’s hand. “All you have to do is stay with me.” He paused. “Promise me you won’t leave me thinking you’re keeping me safe.”

“I promise.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

Once in the car Jungkook realized he had a lot of missed texts from Jimin and Taehyung. Namjoon’s notifications were flooded as well by texts and calls from Seokjin, Yoongi and Hoseok. The older boy sighed as he checked his phone.

“We’re an hour and a half late.”

“Jimin Hyung is wondering where the hell we are. He ended up taking a taxi to Seokjin Hyung’s and they’ve all been trying to contact us…”

“Dammit.”

“We better get going. I’ll text Jimin that we’re headed over.”

“Alright.”

It didn’t take long for them to arrive but Jungkook was still ambushed with texts once he told his friend they were on their way. Everyone all knew something was off, neither of them being the types to not contact anyone out of laziness (save for Namjoon when he was working). He hated that he’d have to tell them about the possibility of a gang leader being interested in the fued of an underling. But the attacker being a member of that specific gang was only a theory. Jungkook couldn’t give them any solid facts which would only make them worry more, something he didn’t want to burden them with. He tried to prepare himself for all the questions they’re friends would ask as they rode up the elevator and he could tell his boyfriend was doing the same.

Namjoon knocked on the apartment door and not even a second later the door swung open and an exasperated Seokjin stood in front of them.

“What the fuck happened?”

Taehyung pushed past the oldest and looked at his older brother concerned. “Hyung, is everything alright?”

The couple walked inside and Namjoon told everyone to gather in the living room. Yoongi tried to lighten the mood by asking if Namjoon lost his phone again. Nobody pointed out why that wouldn’t explain Jungkook’s lack of response either but waited for an explanation instead.

“We were at the police station.” The room became stagnant. “Do you want me to explain, Jungkookie?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I’ll do it.”

“Are you.. ok?” Jimin stood and held his friend’s hand.

“Yeah..”

Jungkook slowly explained what happened but Namjoon took over and talked about the visit to the station. He even admitted to his outburst at the detective but everyone, especially Yoongi, was understanding.

“So, we don’t actually know if that freak who attacked you is part of the gang but we _do_ know the leader seems to know about you.” Yoongi let out a sound that resembled a hiss. “I’m gonna beat up that fucker.”

“Yoongi Hyung.” Jungkook sighed. “He’s like 182 cm and a gang leader. You don’t stand a chance.”

He crossed his arms. “You’ve never seen me in a fight before, kid.”

“He _does_ kick ass.” Namjoon agreed.

“That’s beside the point.” Taehyung scowled at his boyfriend. “Hyung. What are you gonna do?” He looked to his older brother knowing the dangerous past both he and Yoongi had.

“I haven’t been targeted like Jungkookie has, so since we aren’t getting help from the police we should never let him be alone.”

“Wait. Am I going to be babysat by all of you?”

“Well, it’s better than nothing.” Yoongi shrugged.

“You’ll be starting work again right?” Seokjin asked Jungkook, and the boy nodded. “When Namjoon can’t I’ll give you rides to and from work.”

Jungkook frowned. “Isn’t that too much work for you?”

“I’ll be fine. We shouldn’t take a chance with public transport.”

Everyone nodded in agreement. Hoseok spoke up after being the most quiet. “If I didn’t live as far out I’d drive you to college every morning.. maybe I should anyway?”

“No, I don’t want anyone going out of their way. It should be fine if I take a taxi right?”

“I think so? It’s not like the bus that is packed with people.” Jimin said seated on the couch again.

Jungkook looked over the room and saw all the worried expressions. “I don’t want anyone to be too worried over me, ok? Things are getting figured out and the detective seems like he’ll communicate any details to us right away. I’ll be fine.” He held onto Namjoon’s hand and sighed. “I came here for Seokjin Hyung’s food so can we eat?” He smiled.

Seokjin clapped his hands together. “I’ll set up the table!” The oldest got up and Hoseok and Yoongi followed.

Jungkook sank into the couch next to Jimin and let out a long sigh. “So, Hoseok Hyung is here.”

“My problems are so miniscule compared to yours, I’ll deal.”

Taehyung leaned over in his seat. “Problems? With Hoseok Hyung?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh. Tae doesn’t know?” Jungkook smirked.

“It’s not something I’m running to tell everyone.” Jimin’s face began to turn a light shade of pink.

“I need to know. Spill.” Taehyung demanded.

Namjoon was across the living room as the three friends were whispering between themselves. Jungkook noticed his boyfriend seated with his legs crossed and almost forgot he already knew about what happened. They shared a knowing look then he went back to the conversation with Taehyung and Jimin. Soon his friend became fed up, mostly because Taehyung wanted explicit details.

“No more talk of this! It’s between me and Hoseok Hyung.” Jimin stood up and placed his hands on his hips.

“Yes, sir.” Taehyung saluted him.

Jimin left for the kitchen and a couple minutes later they were called to join the table. There was so much food, even more from the time at Hoseok’s and there were more people present then. Jungkook went straight to the pork and was instantly transported to a happy place.

“I want everyone to know,” Seokjin chewed on some rice. “Our Yoongi here was the one who cooked all the beef and pork.”

Taehyung giggled at everyone’s surprised expressions. “He’s really good at cooking meat.”

Jungkook continued to stuff his face and gave Yoongi a sloppy thumbs up. “Hyung, it’s really good!”

Yoongi placed a hand on the back of his neck as he averted his eyes at the compliment. “Ah, thanks.”

Everyone stayed at the table even after they became full. Jungkook stubbornly picked at the beef, not wanting to waste any food even with his very stuffed tummy. He finally stopped himself when he felt like he’d pop the buttons on his jeans if he ate anymore. He stayed seated as Namjoon, Taehyung and Jimin put dirty dishes away, Jimin already cleaning them up in the sink.

Seokjin disappeared into the kitchen and came back with beer and soju, Yoongi making grabby hands at the beer. Once the dishes were done and leftovers were put in the fridge everyone gathered into the living room again. Seokjin held a deck of cards in his hands and gave the group of friends a mischievous grin.

“To make things more interesting let’s play a game.”

“What kind of game?” Hoseok asked excitedly.The oldest handed Hoseok the deck of cards. “Truth or Dare: Adult Version.” He read out loud.

“Adult version? I guess we’re gonna get some sexy dares?” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’ve never played it before so, we’ll see.” Seokjin winked.

The cards were taken out of the box and placed on the floor, everyone now seated in a circle around the deck. They decided to play rock paper scissors to determine who goes first, Jungkook ending up losing. The group watched as the youngest leaned forward to grab a card.

“You have to pick truth or dare before you flip your card.” Jimin informed as he read from the directions on the back of the small box.

“Uhh. I’ll pick dare.” He groaned at himself, not wanting to be too predictable. He flipped the card. “ _Sit in the lap of the person to your right_.” Jungkook looked at Namjoon and blushed.

“I love this game already.” Taehyung giggled.

“I decided to add something to the rules to make it a little more fun!” Seokjin held up a soju bottle. “You can pass if you don’t want to do what’s on your card _but_ you’ll have to take a shot.”

“What about me? I’m the designated driver.” Namjoon asked.

“I guess that just means you can’t pass.” Yoongi took a sip of his beer amused.

“Ok! Jungkook, before Namjoon can take his turn, are you gonna sit on his lap or take a shot?” Seokjin jiggled the bottle in his hand.

The younger boy sighed and crawled over to Namjoon. His boyfriend smiled at him with a slight blush as he moved his arms away from his lap. Jungkook plopped himself on Namjoon’s crossed legs and didn’t know what to do with his hands so he awkwardly placed them on his knees. He let out a gasp as Namjoon wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned his head on his shoulder. The room became loud as they cheered and laughed.

“Joonie’s turn!” Hoseok wiggled his shoulders as a sitting down dance and soon Taehyung, Seokjin and Jimin followed suit.

Jungkook had to grab the card for the older boy, but as he leaned forward he felt Namjoon’s hands glid down his waist. If they moved a few more centimeters down they’d be on his ass. He tried to ignore the gay panic as he handed the card over.

“Truth or dare, Hyung.” Taehyung wasn’t even drinking but he was the most excited.

“I’ll.. go with truth.” Namjoon flipped the card over and rolled his eyes.

Jungkook’s back was pressed close to the older boy’s chest as he tried to get a closer look at the card.

He sighed. “ _How many people have you slept with_.” Namjoon read aloud.

“Ha! You can’t skip this!” Seokjin cackled.

“So I have to like, count it out?”

“That makes it sound like more than a few.” Hoseok raised an eyebrow.

Jungkook could feel the older boy’s body become tense underneath him. “Hyung, it’s fine. Just answer it.” He turned his head to smile at Namjoon and saw the relief over his face.

He took a deep breath. “It’s eleven.”

Jungkook couldn’t help but feel a mixture of jealousy and sadness. He knew Namjoon was experienced but hearing an actual number made him feel self conscious. Everyone in the room didn’t seem phased by it but Taehyung started to giggle and everyone’s attention was drawn to him instead.

“What?” Namjoon asked annoyed.

“I’m sorry but,” He paused to stop laughing. “I don’t know why it’s so funny to me that you had to count Yoongi Hyung in that list.”

Yoongi quickly smacked the side of Taehyung’s head. “Don’t talk about that in front of Jungkook ya idiot.”

Taehyung pouted. “But they’re dating and so are we. We should be able to laugh at the fact that you two were an item in the past.” He shrugged.

“So, that means you two _did_ date? You both failed to give me all the details.” Seokjin said with a sour expression.

“Do I really need to tell you about every person I’ve fucked? And it wasn’t like it was a defined relationship anyways. It was more like, _oh this dude makes awesome beats and I’m horny_. Our options were limited.”

Namjoon shook his head but didn’t add anything or deny what was said. Jungkook didn’t totally disagree with what Taehyung said either but he thought it was a little awkward nonetheless. But, awkwardness is something he could handle, he thought. “So, how was it? Sex with him, I mean.” He decided to throw all anxiety out the window because hey, he was curious.

Namjoon immediately choked on his soda and a little bit of the drink got on Jungkook’s shoulder. The older boy apologized while everyone laughed. He sat beside his boyfriend instead of continuing with the dare, Seokjin agreeing it was alright for the game. Everyone waited for Yoongi to reply.

“You _really_ wanna know?” He looked at Jungkook seriously.

“Yeah.” The younger boy turned to see Namjoon’s face completely red and he snickered at the sight.

“Hmm.” Yoongi rubbed his chin. “He’s the gentle type. Totally not my style to be honest.” He took a swig of his beer. “I mean, he even put a soft pillow under my ass to make sure I was comfortable.”

“Oh my god make it stop.” Namjoon whined.

“Hyung, that’s sweet but that right there shows that they never would’ve lasted. Yoongi Hyung likes it rough.” Taehyung grinned and scooted away expecting another attack from Yoongi.

The room was in a fit of giggles as now both Namjoon and Yoongi were embarrassed at the talk of their sex lives. Yoongi recovered much more quickly as Namjoon still hid behind his hands. Jungkook smiled at the older boy, not surprised to find out he was more sweet in bed. He was still scared at the thought of having sex with his boyfriend but he had a bit of peace of mind now. He sighed and pulled away Namjoon’s hands and held them in his lap. Jungkook leaned forward and whispered. “I’m glad you’re the gentle type.” Before pulling away he kissed Namjoon’s cheek and got embarrassed himself. They both couldn’t look at each other in the eyes just yet but held each other’s hands tight.

The game continued. Jimin picked dare and had to give Taehyung a lap dance. Yoongi also picked dare and was elated when the card told him to finish off whatever alcohol he was drinking. Taehyung went with truth and was asked to explain the last time he had sex. He went into detail about all the oils he had bought and how he and Yoongi were slipping and sliding all over the bed. His boyfriend threatened to leave if he didn’t shut up so his explanation was cut short. Hoseok picked a card and Seokjin asked him, _Truth or Dare_?

“Dare.” Hoseok had drank a little bit of beer but was already slightly tipsy as he tired to read the card out loud. “Hmm, _kiss the person across from you_.” Hoseok locked eyes with Jimin and without any hesitation grabbed the soju bottle and drank directly from it.

Jungkook watched as Jimin tried to mask his pained expression and he grew mad at Hoseok for doing what he did. But still, the game continued on until Seokjin eventually became shirtless (everyone losing their shit at his secret abs) and Yoongi rapping about how well he gives oral. They called the game off when Hoseok was so out of it he kept falling asleep mid sentence. Taehyung became sleepy after drinking a few too many shots and Yoongi brought him to his room and put him in his bed.

Jimin still sat on the floor as Seokjin dragged Hoseok over to the couch where the boy instantly fell asleep. The oldest went to his room to get blankets and to finally put a shirt back on, the one he previously wore now had spilled soju all over it. Namjoon and Jungkook silently stayed with Jimin, not sure if they should bring up what had happened.

His roommate sighed. “It makes sense. Why would he want to kiss me anyway?”

“Maybe it was because it was in front of everyone?” Namjoon tried to leave it at that but continued on. “He _did_ talk to me about what happened between you two..”

“He talked to you?” His eyes became wide. “W-what did he say?”

“Mostly that he was at a loss of what to do. And that he didn’t want to ruin your friendship. I didn’t want to tell you because I thought he might’ve by now.”

“It’s a little awkward to bring up.. _and_ it did only happen yesterday.” Jimin looked over to the sleeping lump that was Hoseok. “I’ll bring it up tomorrow. We shouldn’t be idiots who drag things out.”

Jungkook narrowed his eyes. “Are you talking about me and Hyung..”

“If the shoe fits.” He shrugged with a smile. Jimin got up and collected some of the empty beer bottles. “I’ll clean up a bit and we could go soon?”

“Yeah, sure.” Namjoon stood as well.

Namjoon left to go to the bathroom as Jungkook went to the kitchen in search of food to nibble on. He hadn’t had too much to drink but he craved food when he was tipsy. As soon as he opened the fridge someone entered the kitchen. He was expecting it to be Jimin but instead it was Yoongi.

“Hey, could you hand me a water? TaeTae asked for some.”

“Sure.” He grabbed a water bottle and handed it to the older boy.

“Thanks.” He turned on his heel to leave but Jungkook called for him to stop.

“Wait. Uh, can I ask you something?” He closed the fridge, forgetting about his snack.

“Yeah, what is it?” Yoongi leaned against the doorway.

Jungkook fidgeted with his hands but tried to find the courage to ask the older boy for some advice. “Do you have any.. tips? For uh, being with Namjoon Hyung?”

Yoongi laughed. “Ahhh.” He nodded his head with a smile. “I take it you haven’t done it yet?”

He shook his head. “No. I’m sorry if this is weird of me to ask.”

“I don’t mind at all. Hmm. So has he showed interest?”

Jungkook thought back to the night they made out and Namjoon was touching him, and of course when he _offered to help him out_. “Yeah. But I’m a bit.. unsure of myself?”

“Because you’re a virgin?”

“It’s that obvious?” His shoulders slumped.

“I little bit.” Yoongi chuckled. “It’s not a bad thing. And Joon is the perfect partner in that regard. He’ll really take care of you. Don’t over think it. If things are going more physical just see where it goes. If you aren’t ready for it, tell him. He doesn’t have a huge ego so he won’t feel hurt if that happens. Honestly, you two are kind of a perfect match. I’m glad you guys are together.”

Jungkook smiled warmly at Yoongi. “Thank you, really.. ” He closed the distance between them and hugged the older boy. Yoongi was a bit stiff at the sudden affection but soon relaxed and patted Jungkook’s back with his free hand.

Yoongi pulled away from the hug after a few moments. “I better get back to TaeTae. But feel free to ask me anything else if you need to again.“

“Ok. Thanks.”

They waved goodbye and just as Yoongi left, Jimin entered. His friend had a trash bag full of their snack wrappers and empty beer cans. He left it near the trash can and hoped Seokjin wouldn’t mind it being left there. Namjoon was already at the door slipping his shoes on when Jimin and Jungkook walked out. Hoseok was now tucked in on the couch with a soft comforter thanks to Seokjin. The oldest said goodbye to them at the door and closed it behind them.

Jimin was definitely drunk. His friend was glued to his boyfriend and Namjoon wasn’t prepared for how touchy a drunk Jimin was. Namjoon let out a yelp when the drunk boy massaged his thigh when they were in the elevator. Jungkook quickly pulled his friend away, silently cursing him for feeling up those thighs before he did. Once outside he made sure Jimin was on the opposite side of his boyfriend, Jungkook not wanting to take another chance. The ride was silent as Jimin layed down in the back seat. Jungkook wondered if he found a not so empty can of beer as he cleaned and chugged it, because his friend definitely wasn’t this drunk beforehand.

Namjoon walked up with them up to their apartment. He even helped get Jimin into bed. He offered to help Jungkook into bed too but the younger boy never got his snack so he needed his fix before he went to bed. He followed his boyfriend to the door and they gazed at each other for a little while. Namjoon stood close to him and rubbed his thumb over Jungkook’s cheek.

“You’re flushed from drinking.” The older boy smiled.

“Is it pretty?” He leaned into Namjoon’s hand.

“Yes, it is.” The older boy softly kissed each cheek. “I should get going, it’s late.”

“Ok.” Jungkook pouted.

Namjoon bent over to pull his shoes on and Jungkook couldn’t help but stare at the boy’s ass. He thought of how Jimin touched his boyfriend’s thigh and became jealous. He didn’t want to feel gypped so on impulse he smacked Namjoon’s ass. The older boy immediately sprang up with a surprised gasp and looked to Jungkook flustered.

“You too?” He blushed as slid the rest of his shoe on.

“Yeah.” Jungkook giggled. “It’s not my fault your ass looked nice.”

Namjoon sighed heavily as he ran a hand through his hair. “Dammit.. if you weren’t drunk right now.” He gritted his teeth.

“What? You wanna do something to me?” Jungkook smirked.

Namjoon took a step towards the younger boy. “Very much so.” He became even closer as his lips lingered near his ear. “But I want to wait until you're sober, because I’d much rather have you clearly remember me touching you.” He whispered.

Jungkook felt a shiver go through his entire body. He couldn’t even open his mouth to say anything in response so he quietly watched as Namjoon put his winter jacket back on and open the door.

“Bye Jungkookie.”

“Bye Hyung.”

He locked the door behind Namjoon and let out a long strangled breath. “Shit.”

He sat at the table eating some leftover kimbap and wished he didn’t drink that night. After eating a little too much he felt sleepy enough to head to bed. He was lucky he had afternoon classes instead of morning classes the next day, knowing he’d wake up with a hangover. He changed into some sweats and cocooned himself in his blankets. Now that he was alone, it was too quiet. His thoughts were now becoming too loud and the worries he tried to ignore were finally bubbling to the surface.

Jungkook was so thankful he was able to hang out with his friends that night, an extremely needed distraction from the events earlier. But now he had the image of that strange man in his head, Cho Seokwoo. Why was that man even there? Jungkook is a nobody to him, unless everything the detective thought was true. But still, why would a gang leader care about such a thing? Jungkook tried to rack his brain but ended up with nothing. What was going to happen next? He tried to ignore the anxiety that came with the uncertainty. But he wondered, would Namjoon be targeted next? Or was Jungkook going to be the center of attack in order to draw Namjoon out? He closed his eyes and hoped the police would handle everything and nothing else would happen to either of them. But a part of him knew he couldn’t entirely trust that to happen. People who want to hurt others always try to find a way.


	29. Prove It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An abominable snow woman and a late night surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***incoming smut
> 
>  
> 
> I'm new to smut so I hope it's not too bad???

A month had passed and Jungkook’s first semester at college was almost over, meaning he was overwhelmed with exams at the moment. Just like Namjoon warned him coffee was the only thing keeping him alive. But it wasn’t just college life that was hectic, he was juggling his normal life with the danger of being a target again.

A couple weeks ago Detective Jung called Namjoon and Jungkook in to talk about what they had found out and what their next move was. He sat close to the older boy who tried hard to keep his cool but as he grabbed Namjoon’s hand he felt his palms sweat. There were a couple other people in the room with them, the Caption of the station and another Detective.

The Captain walked over to the seated boys. “I’m Captain Baek and this is Detective Choi. We wanted you both to come in because we’ve been able to get some concrete information.”

They both nodded their heads and waited for him to continue.

“Chae Dongwoo, your attacker, has been confirmed to have joined the gang under Cho Seokwoo. Our man undercover has been able to get close to him and we’ve gotten a few important details from him this morning.”

Jungkook gulped. “And what were they?”

The Captain looked over to detective Choi who continued. “He had bribed the gang leader with some information to get him interested in the both of you. He unfortunately didn’t go into extensive detail but he said that he _‘found some interesting stuff when digging into Kim Namjoon’s past’_.”

Namjoon stared blankly at the Detective. “He looked into my past? How does that even benefit him?”

“Something he found must’ve been of value so we’re going to need you to disclose anything about you that might help us.” The Captain said crossing his arms.

The older boy scowled. “That’s personal.”

“Have you had issues with a gang in the past?” Detective Jung asked.

Namjoon stayed silent but the room became too suffocating so Jungkook spoke up. “Could we talk with Detective Jung alone?”

The Captain was accommodating and left with the other detective promptly. It immediately felt better with two less people in the room and he hoped it would ease Namjoon’s nerves. Detective Jung sat at his desk and didn’t pry. After a few minutes Namjoon finally began to speak.

“Before I was born my mom was working on a case, she was a lawyer, her client was an ex-gang member. The gang leader was not happy about the possibility of being exposed and caught so he sent an underling to scare my mom and the ex-gang member.” He paused. “My mom was raped and I was born.”

The detective’s eyebrows were furrowed as he listened to the information. “I know about that case.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened. “What?”

“My father worked with your mother. I remember how upset he was with what happened to her. And the ex-gang member ended up disappearing not long afterwards so the case was closed.”

“I.. I didn’t know it was closed because of that.”

“I’m sure I could find the files for that case. I have a strong feeling that this is related to what Chae Dongwoo found.”

“But what could it mean?” Jungkook asked concerned.

The man sat back in his chair and thought to himself for a moment. “Cho Seokwoo must’ve been part of that gang. We didn’t have a face for the gang leader back then, all we knew was that he was strangely young to be a leader. There is a high possibility that the gang from all those years ago is the one we’re still after today. His age would match up as well. The reason he’d be bribed is because you are a liability to him, something from the past that was never taken care of.”

“When you say.. taken care of..” Jungkook panicked.

The man nodded. “To be killed. Gangs this powerful aren’t afraid to end a life.”

“But we still technically never got a threat, so we’re still in the same boat right?” Namjoon sighed.

“Yes, unfortunately. But I will go through those old case files and see what I can find. If we get enough evidence that there is a connection between you and the gang leader, especially if there is a reason for him to want you dead, that gives me something I can work with. And hopefully getting you both some protection.”

Jungkook could see the trust Namjoon was beginning to have in the Detective. The older boy thanked him sincerely and they left the station. Since then Detective Jung wasn’t able to confirm the connection between the gang leader from all those years ago to Cho Seokwoo. It was proving to be more difficult because of a lack of description of the man in the past. But detective Jung assured them that he wouldn’t stop investigating it. Instead they continued to rely on information from the source they had through their undercover man.

There was nothing new from the police station but Jungkook was too busy studying for exams to even think about it. Since that meeting his personal life had depleted. Namjoon was busy at the studio as well but they promised to at least go on one date a week to give them a much needed break.

Being back at the used bookstore gave him some normalcy. Jungkook was grateful he worked as the cashier because of his cast because it gave him lots of time to look at flash cards and notes. As Seokjin promised he picked up and drove Jungkook to and from work when Namjoon couldn’t. He was able to see Yoohyeon and chat with her, which he probably missed most from working.

Jungkook had finished his last exam that morning and was working his shift with his shell of a body. Luckily Yoohyeon was on the same shift as him, she could attempt to bring him back to life. His friend was sweeping around the currently empty store and stopped to lean against the counter as he zoned out. He didn’t notice her until she hit him in the head with the plastic handle of the broom.

“You’re free now. You can even sleep all weekend if you want.”

He let out a sigh as he rubbed the spot on his head that she hit. “It’s Christmas Eve day on Sunday.”

“Oh. I forgot.” She gave him a cheeky smile. “You gonna go on a date with your _boyfriend_?”

Jungkook folded his arms. “Why? Are you going out on a date with your _girlfriend_?”

“That’s kinda what you do when you’re dating someone around Christmas, right? And presents!”

“I guess. I’ve just never had that so I don’t know what’s totally normal.”

“There’s no rules to follow. If you want to sleep all weekend, do that! If you want to go to a nice restaurant with your boyfriend, do that! I kinda like the whole fancy restaurant and presents thing but that doesn’t mean you have to.”

Jungkook nodded in understanding. “I think I’d like it actually but to be honest, I have no clue what our plans are. Hyung told me to make sure I was free but that was it.”

Yoohyeon looked at him with a giddy expression. “Oh my god he’s gonna go all out I can just see it. A private room at a gorgeous restaurant and then he whispers to you that your Christmas gift is him, you just have to unwrap him yourself.”

Jungkook’s face was beet red. “Yoohyeon you better shut up.”

She bent over cackling. “He’d totally pull off something so romantic but sensual! You can’t deny it!”

“New topic!” He demanded.

“Alright, alright. How’s Jimin doing?”

“He’s doing.. good.”

At least he thought his friend was. Jimin followed through with what he said the night at Seokjin and Yoongi’s place and talked with Hoseok the next day. Jimin was definitely amused by how desperately Hoseok apologized for his standoffish behavior. Hoseok promised he wouldn’t do anything like it again because he didn’t want to loose Jimin as a friend. Ultimately the drunken blowjob was blamed on poor decision making and the needing to get properly laid. Jimin agreed and everything seemed to be settled. But Jungkook knew his friend better than that and a few days ago he noticed his roommate’s demeanor change again. He didn’t want to pry but now he wondered if something actually happened, with Hoseok or anyone else for that matter.

Yoohyeon didn’t buy it. “You don’t sound so confident in that statement.”

“I don’t know. You talked with him last week, right?”

“Yeah, that was when he filled me in on everything. He asked for advice.”

“He did? What for?”

“We talked about a lot of things but he asked if friends with benefits ever work out. I told him it obviously depends but in my experience.. it just sucks.”

“You’ve done the friends with benefits thing?” Jungkook was surprised.

“It was terrible and very stupid. I should’ve known but it was with a straight girl who told me she was curious. But in the end she used me to make her ex-boyfriend jealous.” She rolled her eyes at the memory.

“That’s low..” He frowned.

“I learned my lesson though, and have stayed away from straight girls since." She laughed. "But Jimin’s situation is different from mine.”

“Did he seem like he wanted to do something like that?”

“To be honest, he seems confused. You should talk to him.”

“Ok.. I will.”

It wasn’t much longer until his shift ended and Seokjin drove him home like he had the past few days. Namjoon was extremely busy but was given Christmas Eve and Christmas day off, only if he got the main track he was working on finalized. It was a taxing process of going back and forth for the mixing and mastering, the one asshole producer being very particular with the outcome. He didn’t see the older boy as much as he wanted but they still saw each other for their once a week date. The first date was a typical movie and dinner. Another they walked along the han river and ate convenience store ramen and sausage in the cold weather. Their last date was a bit of a challenge, Jungkook bringing Namjoon to work out with him. It was actually more of a challenge for Jungkook because seeing Namjoon doing squats in shorts made something inside him short circuit. But this week’s date was a mystery to him and he didn’t know how to prepare himself for it.

Seokjin dropped him off and he apologized for the 20th time for Seokjin having to drive him back again. The oldest sighed in annoyance.

“I’m doing this because I _want_ to, just let everyone take care of you for a bit, alright?”

Jungkook pouted but knew he wouldn’t win if he tried to argue with his handsome Hyung. “Alright. I’ll see you next week.”

“Have fun with Namjoon this weekend.” He wiggled his eyebrows and closed the door before Jungkook could say a word.

He made his way to his floor and unlocked the door to his apartment. Jimin was in the kitchen cooking dinner as he entered, food already set on the table. They were finally finishing off all the side dishes his mother had brought over, the rest of the empty containers now sat in the sink. He pealed off his heavy coat and walked over to the table.

“It’s like a feast.” He laughed.

Jimin turned around with a smile as he filled a bowl with rice. “I wanted all the food in the fridge to be used up so, I hope you’re hungry.”

“Famished.”

They gorged themselves and only regretted it a little as they sat down too full to move. Neither of them were planning to get up yet so Jungkook thought it was time to talk to Jimin about the awkwardness he noticed.

“So, I wanted to ask you about something.”

Jimin’s eyes widened at the tone in his voice. “About what?”

“A few days ago you seemed off again. What’s going on?”

His friend was silent at first but soon let out a sigh. “Dammit. You actually picked up on that?”

“I’ve gotten better at reading people, it’s your fault.” He smiled.

Jimin groaned out in annoyance. “I guess I have to tell you, huh?”

“You’ve never let me back out of sharing information about my issues so you get the same treatment. Equality.”

“Ok. Jeez.” He scratched the side of his head, making the hair stand up messily. “It deals with Hoseok Hyung, again.”

“What the hell happened this time?”

“Everything seemed to be going back to normal. We ate lunch out together like usual and he’d help me with dance moves I was struggling with in practice. We were at the dance studio he teaches at sometimes and it was late and we were alone. We somehow got on the topic of how picky we are about one night stands. ”

“This doesn’t seem like it’s headed in a good direction..”

“Yeah, we both kinda realized what we were talking about and it got awkward but then…” He paused. “He said I was good..” Jimin’s face became red. “And he said he wished he hadn’t fallen asleep because wanted to see my small hand wrapped around his di-”

“Stop right there!” Jungkook covered his ears.

“Sorry, I’ll spare the details..”

“So, was that it? Did it end at that?” Jungkook cautiously asked.

“No. It.. kinda uh, happened _again_.”

“Are you seriously telling me he sucked you off again?”

“Well, not exactly. More like the opposite.” Jimin layed his head down on the table in a sad attempt to hide his flushed face.

“Why are the both of you so stupid and horny? All that progress for nothing?”

“It happened so fast and we weren’t even drunk.” He whined.

“So what is the deal with the both of you now? Are you friends with benefits?”

Jimin raised his head. “I don’t know. After it happened we both kind of looked at each other like, _fuck, we messed up_.”

“Uh, isn’t it obvious what’s going on though..”

Jimin looked at him with his head titled in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Hoseok Hyung likes you. The things he said isn’t what a friend would say. I mean, I would never in a million years talk about your small hands like he did.” Jungkook grimaced.

“But, he already told me he doesn’t like me.”

“Seokjin Hyung warned us that Hoseok Hyung is pretty much an idiot when it comes to romance. I can only imagine he’s in denial about liking you.”

“I’m usually very sure of myself when it comes to romance but am I an idiot now too?” Jimin thought out loud.

“Join the club.” Jungkook smirked and his friend smiled back at him.

“We both acted like it didn’t happen and it’s been hell. I’m always preaching how important communication is, yet here I am.”

“It’s hard isn’t it?” Jungkook teased.

“Yes, I have to admit.”

“Are you seeing Hoseok Hyung this weekend?”

“Yeah, we were going to a Christmas themed drag show tomorrow, Seokjin Hyung is performing.”

“Oh yeah, Seokjin Hyung told me about that. I’ll probably be sleeping all day tomorrow so I haven’t decided if I’ll be going.”

“You should just sleep for twenty four hours.” Jimin laughed.

“You’re going to talk to Hoseok Hyung in all that chaos though? You could wait when you aren’t surrounded with alcohol.”

“I won’t be able to enjoy the night if I don’t talk to him first.”

“Yeah you’d sulk all night.” He agreed and laughed at the pout on Jimin’s face.

Jimin finally acted a bit more like himself after their dinner. They cleaned up and played video games until they couldn’t keep their eyes open to see the screen anyone. Each boy lazily made it to their own bed and fell asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows.

 

_______________________________________

 

Jungkook’s sleep was so solid and deep that he was surprised he had woken up feeling refreshed instead of groggy. He looked at his phone and it was half past eleven in the morning. As he got out of bed he smelled the comforting aroma of coffee. Jimin had left a note for him on the counter saying he was practicing at the dance studio and he’d be back later. He quietly drank the coffee his roommate brewed and scrolled through Instagram.

Seokjin posted a close up picture of his outfit for the drag show that night, teasing his followers. Mingyu had spammed the extra pictures he took of Minghao during their trip to Jeju, Jungkook snickering at his friend’s page looking like a fansite for Minghao instead of being a personal account. Taehyung posted a new behind the scenes photo from a photoshoot he just did, looking dapper in a classy black and white striped suit drinking some fruit drink he was recently sponsored by. Namjoon had an account but very rarely uploaded anything. It was a lot of food pictures and videos of him inside his studio. Out of curiosity he went to his boyfriend’s page and was surprised to see a picture of himself as the latest post. He clicked on it and saw it was posted at four in the morning. The caption read;

 

 **knjoon** this picture may or may not be my computer bg at work (I look at it when I need a moment to detox from the hustle)

#mybf#istoo#damncute

 

Jungkook blushed as he looked at the picture of him sleeping, Namjoon must’ve sneakily taken the picture the last time they saw each other. He left a comment on the post.

 

 **kookkkkk** I can’t believe you secretly took a picture of me and not only have it as a bg but made an insta post ?????????

 

A minute later his phone dinged and he rolled his eyes and laughed as he saw that it was from Namjoon.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

11:49am

_Miss you too xoxo :)_

 

**Me**

11:50am

_Uh huh. Do you have more secret pictures of me in your phone too?_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

11:52am

_Sorry I can delete them if you don’t like it???_

 

**Me**

11:54am

_No.. I don’t mind. But does anyone else see the picture of me on your computer?_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

11:55am

_Oh hmm maybe I should change it before other producers check in with me later. I don’t want them seeing ur cute sleeping face and thinking they could try to steal you from me :(((_

 

**Me**

sent 11:57am

_Yeah riiiiight. I’m not into grumpy manipulative producers tho so they wouldn’t stand a chance. I like em cute and sweet :)_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 11:58am

_I fucking miss you_

 

**Me**

sent 12:00pm

_Swearing huh? We’ll see each other tomorrow we can make it!_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:02pm

_Idk why but this week has been harder? I just want to kiss you really bad….. like ALL the time._

 

**Me**

sent 12:04pm

_telling me this is not helping gkskdlhzlhxfhkj_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

sent 12:07pm

_Sorryyyy but it’s true :( I’m heading out for lunch with some coworkers (higher ups to be exact).. wish me luck!!!!! I’ll see you tomorrow Jungkookie ❤❤❤❤❤_

 

**Me**

sent 12:08pm

_Good luck!!! ❤❤❤_

 

Jungkook sighed as he looked at his now lukewarm coffee in front of him. This past week had been hard for him too. He finally finished off his exams and just wanted to hibernate with Namjoon for the rest of the winter. He was exhausted but restless not having the older boy beside him when he wanted him there. Namjoon still didn’t say what their plans were for the next day but no doubt there wouldn’t be a lot of kissing to make up for their time apart.

He felt like just lounging around the apartment in his sweats but got in the shower and changed into sweats again, nice and clean though. He was channel surfing when Jimin came back to the apartment. His friend was out of breath as he took off his shoes and coat.

“Did you run here or something?” Jungkook got up from the couch.

“Yes, actually. It’s clear and not too windy today so I got off a few bus stops early and ran.”

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m fully aware.” He chuckled. “I think I’m a little nervous about talking with Hoseok Hyung too.. ”

“That explains running off a bus.” He placed a hand on Jimin’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. Just be as straightforward as possible and he can’t play dumb.”

“He’s not even playing dumb he just _is_.”

Jungkook smirked. “Hyung. Your tongue is extra sharp this morning.”

“You better be careful around me I might come after you too.” Jimin gave him a devilish grin.

Jungkook motioned that his lips were sealed, even throwing away an imaginary key. His friend laughed and said he’d be in the shower. For the rest of the afternoon they sat around the apartment welcoming the boredom over the previous stress of studying for exams. They ordered in food and sat on the floor with their Chinese food as they continued to play videos games. Spoiler; Jungkook won every round and Jimin gave up.

A few hours later Taehyung showed up with a suitcase, much like he did when he helped Jungkook with an outfit for the bar back before the semester started. This time around he was helping Jimin with a look and he stayed to watch the chaos that would undoubtedly unfold. Their fashionable friend brought a lot of clothes, too many for just Jimin alone.

Jungkook narrowed his eyes on Taehyung as he showed Jimin a soft brown sweater. “You’re not going to try to convince me to come are you? I see all these extra clothes Tae.”

“Will you at least give me a chance?” He whined.

He sighed. “Go ahead.”

Taehyung’s smile filled his entire face. “Yes! Ok, so the theme is Iconic Christmas Movies. I’ve already finished my outfit, can you figure it out?” He pulled a silver bell out of his coat pocket and jingled it.

Jungkook looked over his friend. Taehyung’s hair was slicked back and he wore a dark loose suit and tie with a long grey coat over it. “I have no clue.”

“Oh come on, I even rang the bell.” He sulked. “It’s a wonderful life? You know that movie?”

“Is it really old?”

“Uh, I guess?”

“No wonder you know about it.”

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Sorry that I have _taste_.” He bent down and grabbed a shirt. “Anyways, this outfit is all black.“

“I’m listening.”

“But you’ll be holding this.” He handed Jungkook a large piece of paper with the words, _To me you are perfect_ , written in sharpie.

“Ok I’ve stopped listening.”

“What? I worked so hard trying to find a character for you! I figured I couldn’t go wrong with Love, Actually.” His friend moped as Jimin snickered off to the side.

“And what about Jimin Hyung? Is that a clown nose I see?” He pointed inside the suitcase.

“Jimin is going to be Rudolph. Isn’t that cute?”

“Jungkookie you’re outfit is cooler than mine, just come along.”

It didn’t take long for Jungkook to give in as he looked at Jimin’s pleading eyes. Taehyung dressed them both and he was pleased to see how nice he looked, minus the big piece of paper of course. Jimin weirdly still looked good even while wearing the red nose and antlers, that boy can look good in anything. Taehyung left the suitcase in the living room as he planned to crash the night anyways. They called a taxi and arrived at the bar before all the crowding of people got there.

Seokjin invited them to come before the doors opened to the public and Jungkook was grateful he could skip the crowd for now. A buff man let them inside the building and they walked to the dressing rooms. Seokjin’s room was easy to find as a flamboyant sign covered with feathers and glitter saying _Miss Worldwide_ was on the door, making it abundantly clear. Taehyung knocked three times and Seokjin’s loud muffled voice welcomed them inside.

The room was small but well lit. A huge mirror leaned against the wall on top of a table covered in dozens of makeup products. Seokjin was making last minute adjustments on his outfit and Jungkook was flooded at the garment. The oldest was in head to toe white fur. He wore a fluffy white hat and underneath long white hair cascaded down his shoulders and chest. His eye makeup was shimmering shades of light blue while his lips were a midnight blue. His dress was white fur as well and had a short train. Dangling around his arms was a huge fur shawl. Seokjin looked expensive but cozy.

“You look amazing!” Taehyung shrieked.

“Are you supposed to be snow?” Jungkook accidentally thought out loud.

“No, honey. I’m the abominable snowman, well, snow woman” He laughed. “Who wears a cute belt to cinch in her waist.”

“We share a movie.” Jimin giggled.

“I’m the star of the that movie.” Seokjin winked.

“Didn’t they take all the abdominal snowman’s teeth out in that one?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

“We don’t talk about that.” The oldest said dramatically and everyone laughed.

The bar was now opening and they waited near the bar as people stared filing in. People’s outfits were a lot more laid back compared to the last time he was there, a little lazy if he dared to say. Jungkook saw quite a few people dressed up as Rudolph and laughed every time they tallied up another one. Taehyung promised Jimin looked the cutest. Jimin was mid thanking him when he froze. Jungkook looked in the direction his friend was staring and saw Hoseok smiling brightly at the entrance. Hoseok noticed them at the bar and walked over.

“Jiminie! I thought we were going to meet outside the bar!” The boy pouted.

“Ah! I forgot! I’m so sorry.” Jimin frowned.

“Don’t worry about it. So, you came with them instead?” Hoseok’s voice wasn’t harsh but he did look hurt that he was forgotten.

“Dammit.” Jimin sighed. “Excuse us.”

Jimin grabbed Hoseok’s hand and left Taehyung and Jungkook at the bar. They looked at each in surprise but Jungkook nodded to himself. “Hopefully things will be cleared up when they come back.”

Taehyung looked at him perplexed. “Am I missing something?”

“Just wait until they come back.” He took a sip of the cocktail he ordered.

Taehyung pouted as he sipped his drink but didn’t ask anything further. The music in the bar vibrated against the walls, he even noticed some shot glasses on the counter shake each time the bass dropped. Jungkook was about to escape to the bathroom for a bit of quiet until he saw Jimin making his way back. Hoseok looked flustered as he joined Taehyung at the bar as Jimin pulled Jungkook off to the side.

“What happened?”

“I told him he likes me.”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s how confessions work.”

“No, I had to say it like that because otherwise he’d slither out of it.”

“Ok but what did he say?”

“He was quiet but looked like he was thinking hard. After awhile he smiled and said,'  _And you like me'._ ” Jimin blushed.

“Why are you two so backwards?” He facepalmed.

“But it worked! He said he’s still kind of confused about how he feels about me but invited me out on a _real_ date. Progress, Jungkookie!”

“Damn. Well, I’m happy for you.” Jungkook smiled warmly at his friend.

“Thank you. And for talking about it with me yesterday. You helped me realize I had to be very assertive with him and it got me a date.” He giggled.

“Now you can enjoy the night!”

“You too! Let’s have fun tonight!”

The Drag Queens weren’t scheduled to be out for another thirty minutes so Hoseok and Jimin dragged them on the dance floor. The dancers were on each other in no time and Jungkook danced with Taehyung in an attempt to shield his eyes from the grinding again. He relayed the information about the backwards confession and date to Taehyung and his friend didn’t seem phased by it.

“Once those two start dating that’s when the real chaos begins.” Taehyung said over the loud music.

Jungkook abandoned the dance floor after some time, needing some water and space. Luckily the bar wasn’t as crowded so he felt like he could breathe in peace. He sat alone until he saw a familiar person sit beside him.

“Wait. You’re the guy from the club. Uh Hong…?”

“Hongseok.” The beautiful boy smiled.

“Did Seokjin Hyung invite you?”

“Yeah, he mentioned he does Drag and I really wanted to see it.”

“I got a sneak peek at what he’s wearing and he looks gorgeous.”

“Well, he’s _always_ gorgeous.” Hongseok smirked.

“Oh no wonder he likes you.” He laughed.

Hongseok looked at him blushing. “You think he actually likes me?”

“I don’t imagine he’d invite you here if he didn’t at least a little bit, right? Seokjin Hyung is a lot to handle but keep it up because he’s worth it.”

“Yeah..” Hongseok nodded.

“He’s a good friend, treat him right.” He said in a soft yet stern tone.

“I will.” He smiled cutely at himself as he fumbled with his drink and Jungkook thought they seemed like a good fit.

Finally the music was cut off and the host for the night spoke on a microphone on the stage. A man in a Santa suit tapped on the mic to get everyone’s attention.

“We have an amazing line up tonight!” The crowd cheered and the host shushed them. “You didn’t even let me list them out!” Everyone laughed as the host listed the night's performers, Seokjin opening the show. “Before Miss Worldwide enters the stage I’ve been told to do one deed. Is a Yang Hongseok here?”

Jungkook looked over to a very surprised Hongseok. He nudged the older boy and he awkwardly stood up and held his hand up. The man on stage saw and called him to join him on stage. Hongseok made his way through the crowd as everyone cheered and once he walked up the stairs a few men in the crowd yelled out that he was handsome. The host laughed.

“Yes, we do have ourselves a handsome young man but Miss Worldwide wouldn’t be so happy to hear us hitting on her man.” He shook his finger at the crowd. “Please take a seat.” A chair was brought on stage and Jungkook thought back to the last time a man sat in a chair during Seokjin’s performance and he wished Hongseok luck.

The lights dimmed as the man in the Santa suit left the stage and when the first few notes of the song played the crowd yelled. It was the classic of all Christmas classics; _All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey_. Hongseok’s jaw dropped as he watched Seokjin walk sensually across the stage, slowly taking one step at a time as he lip synced to the song. The second the song’s beat went up he sat on Hongseok’s lap and it was over for him. The crowd cheered and screamed as Miss Worldwide gave the most spectacular Christmas lap dance the world had ever seen. Jungkook couldn’t even contain his laughter as Hongseok was messily wrapped in the fur shawl. Just before the last chorus everyone was surprised as Seokjin began to spin on stage and suddenly his white dress changed into a Mrs Claus dress. The crowd screamed at the transformation, Jungkook included. When the song ended everyone cheered and chanted, _Miss Worldwide_. Seokjin bowed and dragged Hongseok off stage with him. All the money thrown at Seokjin while he performed was being collected before the next Drag Queen would come out. The music from before boomed inside the bar and it wasn’t long before he saw his friends making their way back to the bar.

“Jungkookie!” Jimin slammed into Jungkook for a sloppy hug. “I didn’t know you were back here the entire time!”

“I was able to enjoy the show better back here actually.”

“Still! I don’t want you all alone!” His friend whined as Hoseok laughed at Jimin’s clingy drunken state.

“Gosh, how many drinks did you have during  just one song? You mind taking him off me?” Jungkook smiled at Hoseok.

“Oh sure.” He grabbed the boy and Jimin immediately wrapped himself around Hoseok’s thin waist. “This is exactly why I decided I wouldn’t drink tonight.”

“Good call.” The younger boy chuckled.

“Hey. Jimin.” Taehyung said distracted.

“Hmm?”

“I don’t think we have to worry about our Jungkookie being alone tonight.” Taehyung pointed to the entrance.

Jungkook looked at the entrance and bolted. He left behind the big stupid piece of paper that went with his outfit and ran into the arms of his boyfriend.

“Oof. Treat me gently please.” Namjoon laughed into the hug.

Jungkook pulled away and scowled at him. “You said you’d be done tomorrow.”

“I worked extra hard to get off early.” The older boy said sweetly.

“You’re so sneaky.” Jungkook pouted.

“Texting you earlier motivated me to move my ass along. I meant it when I said I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you.” Namjoon placed his thumb over Jungkook’s bottom lip.

Jungkook kept eye contact with the older boy as he stuck out his tongue and licked to top of Namjoon’s thumb. “Prove it.”

He heard Namjoon swear under his breath as he dragged Jungkook out of the bar. They didn’t dare look at each other in the car and during the ride to Namjoon’s apartment. Both were afraid they wouldn’t be able to stop themselves if they locked eyes before they got inside the older boy’s place. It was torture but Jungkook tried to will his heart to stop beating so fast. A part of him knew something more was going to happen, it wouldn’t just end at tender kisses. Jungkook was surprised at how his nerves were instead overpowered by passion and lust and he decided to welcome it with open arms.

When they arrived at the apartment complex both of them couldn’t get out of the vehicle fast enough. Namjoon held Jungkook’s hand as he lead the way inside the building and to the elevators. On the ride up he felt bad that he ditched the rest of his friends the second Namjoon showed up. He wondered if he should shoot a quick text to Jimin but was pulled out of the elevator as soon as it opened. Jungkook giggled as Namjoon fumbled with his keys to open the door but his laughter was short lived as Namjoon brought the boy inside with a swift tug and shut the door.

Jungkook was pushed against the wall immediately, neither of them even bothering to take off their coats or shoes just yet. Namjoon gazed at Jungkook with such intensity the younger boy swore he stopped breathing for a few moments. He got so close Jungkook closed his eyes anticipating a kiss but instead the older boy held his face in his hands.

“Jungkookie.”

He opened his eyes and his body already began to melt at the way Namjoon looked at him. “Yes?”

“I wanna touch you.” Namjoon said lowly. “We don’t have to have sex yet but I just– I really wanna touch you.” He paused. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook breathed out. “That’s more than alright.”

The older boy licked his lips before leaning in to kiss him. It was the messiest kiss they’ve ever had, teeth scraping against each other and maybe a little too much tongue. But they grabbed onto each other pulling at the other person’s clothes. Namjoon successfully took off Jungkook’s coat and threw it to the floor but had trouble slipping off his shoes and almost fell on top of Jungkook. The younger boy found the whole thing hilarious as he kicked off his own shoes. Namjoon pouted as he pealed off his winter coat and finally got his left sneaker off his foot. He grabbed a hold of Jungkook and beelined it to his room.

Namjoon threw Jungkook onto the bed and crawled on top of him. He desperately grabbed onto the older boy’s shoulders as he leaned up to kiss him. He wanted to be in control for a little while so he pulled Namjoon flush to him and pushed his tongue past the older boy’s lips and licked into his mouth with some force. Namjoon let out a low grunt and Jungkook felt something inside him tingle. He controlled the pace of the kiss, it was much less chaotic then the one near the door. But soon he was surprised when Namjoon very slowly rolled his hips against his and Jungkook let out a high pitched moan at the friction. Namjoon pulled away and looked down at him with a smirk.

“You sound so cute.”

“Shut up.” He frowned.

“Ok, I will.“ The older boy grined. “I’ll keep my mouth busy in a different way.”

Namjoon stared kissing up Jungkook’s jaw and down his neck. He quickly began unbuttoning the younger boy’s shirt and left kisses on the skin he exposed. Namjoon sat up fully and gazed down at Jungkook’s open shirt and shook his head.

“What?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

“You’re too hot. I’m kinda baffled that I’m even touching you right now.”

“You’re hot too you idiot.” Jungkook sat up and pulled on the collar of Namjoon’s sweatshirt. “Take this off.”

He saw the older boy’s adam’s apple bob up and down before he obeyed Jungkook’s order. He pulled the sweatshirt over his head, his hair becoming tousled. He threw it to the side of the bed and looked away bashful. “I’m definitely not toned like you.”

He watched as Namjoon awkwardly rubbed the side of his arm as he tried not to look Jungkook in the eyes. He looked over the older boy in front of him and couldn’t resist the urge to touch him. Namjoon’s stomach was flat but pretty. He wasn’t super skinny but absolutely had some muscle on him, it showed in his arms (and thighs). Namjoon flinched when Jungkook placed a hand on his bare waist.

“I like you this way. You talk like you’re stick thin when you’re over here with strong thighs I’ve been obsessed with for years.” He lowered his hands down Namjoon’s waist and he massaged the older boy’s thighs through the thick jeans.

Namjoon finally locked eyes with him again and Jungkook could see that confidence coming back and he tried to prepare himself for what would come next. In an instant his back was on the bed again, his shirt now fully removed from his body. Namjoon latched his mouth onto his and Jungkook melted into the deep kiss. Wandering hands soon found themselves on the buckle of Jungkook’s belt and with surprising ease it was pulled off and next was the button of his black jeans. The tightness in his pants was beginning to be too much so he was relieved when Namjoon unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. Jungkook let out a sharp gasp as the older boy placed his hand over his throbbing cock, still hidden underneath his underwear.

“Can I take these off?” Namjoon asked as he tugged at the elastic band.

Jungkook couldn’t muster a single word but instead nodded his head. Namjoon first pulled off his jeans, being a bit of a struggle since they were so tight. But he already felt so exposed laying on Namjoon’s bed in just his underwear, he whimpered in anticipation when Namjoon placed his hands on his hips. He was beyond embarrassed that the top of his cock was sticking out of his underwear, leaving nothing to hide as precum leaked onto his stomach. Namjoon hadn’t even touched him yet and he was already unraveling.

When Namjoon finally pulled his underwear down his thighs he moaned out as he felt the cold air hit him. He looked up at the older boy and saw him gaze at him like he was in some kind of trance.

“Fuck.” Namjoon locked eyes with him. “You’re so beautiful.”

Jungkook’s entire boy shivered and his cock noticeably twitched at the compliment. Namjoon saw and smiled and leaned down between his thighs. “So pretty.” Jungkook twitched again and Namjoon’s smile deepened. The younger boy yelped out when Namjoon kissed the top of his cock, not prepared for the sudden stimulation.

“Ah!” He slapped a hand over his mouth, mortified at how loud he was.

“Baby. I want to hear your voice.”

He looked at Jungkook with pleading eyes and the younger boy quickly removed his hand and took a deep breath. He could feel Namjoon’s hot breath on his cock and he whined wanting more. He didn’t have to wait long before Namjoon licked up his shaft and kissed the top once again. He twisted his hands in the blanket underneath him to try to calm himself but he let out a loud moan as Namjoon took him fully inside his mouth.

Jungkook felt like his eyes rolled to the back of his head, the pleasure being so unimaginable. Namjoon's mouth was so hot around him. His body squirmed uncontrollably as the top of his cock was sucked, Namjoon knowing exactly what to do to make him scream. And boy did Jungkook scream.

“Mmm..Ah! Hyung–Ahh.” Jungkook couldn’t form a sentence even if he tried. But his body began to jerk when Namjoon pumped his cock as he sucked the top, his tongue being smooth and precise. He felt like he was close but didn’t want it to end so soon. "No Hyung, ahh.” He panted as he tried to make some kind of sense. “I don’t wanna cum yet.”

Namjoon pulled away immediately. “Is it too good?”

“Yeah.” He whined, missing Namjoon’s lips around him.

“I’ll just use my hands then. Is that ok?”

Jungkook nodded and he jolted when Namjoon’s hand was wrapped around him the next moment. He pumped him slowly at first, almost lazily. Jungkook was happy when the older boy leaned back down to kiss him again. He loved the way Namjoon’s lips looked so swollen and red after he pulled away. They panted together as the older boy began to pump him at a fast speed, flicking his wrist ever so slightly to set Jungkook off again. He whimpered and moaned as he payed more attention to the top of his cock again, knowing his sweet spot.

“Hyung, faster ah-”

Namjoon obeyed and his body twitched violently as he felt like he was close again. His voice was already so wrecked it would break every time he moaned out. Jungkook’s back arched when he finally came. He stopped breathing for a few moments as his body twitched against the bed. The pleasure sent him somewhere else entirely. He gasped for air after he came down from the high. Jungkook was a little overwhelmed by the feeling, never knowing it could feel so good just by someone else doing it for you. His vision was a little blurry at the intensity of it all but he saw the older boy looking at him. Namjoon looked at Jungkook with such content, it made him feel so safe. “How was it?”

“Really good.” He smiled like an idiot.

“I’m glad.” Namjoon smiled back. He got up to grab some tissues and cleaned the cum off his hand and on Jungkook’s stomach. He kissed his forehead before he walked away to throw it in the garage.

Jungkook was still trying to catch his breath when Namjoon came back to the bed. He looked at him perplexed when he got under the covers after talking his pants off. “What are you doing?”

“Going to bed before I pass out.”

“What about you? I shouldn’t be the only one getting to cum.” He pouted.

Namjoon laughed softly. “Come here.” He patted the space beside him.

Jungkook crawled up the bed, still naked, and reluctantly went under the blanket. “It’s not fair.”

“If you’re planning to suck me off I don’t want to fall asleep in the middle of it. I told you to begin with that _I_ wanted to touch _you_. I’m pretty satisfied.” He yawned.

“Ok. Raincheck on the blowjob.” Jungkook nuzzled against Namjoon.

“That’s a sentence I never thought I’d hear from you.” The older boy chuckled as he wrapped an arm around Jungkook.

“I’m surprising myself too.” He smiled.

Jungkook waited for a response but glanced over to see Namjoon was already fast asleep. He looked at the sleeping boy with a warmth in his heart. Namjoon probably worked the entire previous night and all day, just to see him a night early. No wonder he was so exhausted. He felt like the luckiest boy in the world. To have someone like Namjoon in his life seemed like a miracle, everything somehow falling right into place for him. He looked at Namjoon as he lightly snored and kissed the top of his nose. This was what Jungkook didn’t know life could give him, a person who cared for him unconditionally. Outside of family, outside of friends. A person who isn’t his other half but more like a reason to make him better himself. Namjoon made him want that for himself and he felt like the older boy felt the same. Yeah, Jungkook was the luckiest boy in the world.


	30. The Romantic Type

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natural talents and early Christmas gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is late!!! It's still technically Saturday so it could be worse lol

Jungkook was jolted awake by the unpleasant shrill ringing of his phone. His hair was a mess in front of his eyes as he scrambled to find his phone. It was still somehow in the back pocket of his jeans that layed on the floor. Before answering he quickly slid on his underwear. As he picked up his phone he groaned as he saw the caller ID displaying, _Mom_.

He answered the call. “Hello?”

“Hi Honey! I’m sorry did I wake you?”

“Yeah, but it’s fine.” He looked for the clock in the room and sighed internally as he saw that it was eight in the morning.

“Well, I’m calling because my work schedule changed last minute and I wanted the family over for dinner tomorrow. We haven’t had a family dinner in awhile and I miss my youngest son.“ She said the last part of the sentence in a baby voice.

“Tomorrow? Christmas?” His family never celebrated Christmas like people overseas. “Uh, I already had plans.”

“Oh.” She said in a deflated voice. “I guess I got a little too excited. I work with a woman from America and Christmas is so big on being surrounded by family I wanted to try celebrating it with a dinner this time around.“

Jungkook didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to let his mother down but he also didn’t want to leave Namjoon alone. His mother picked up on the worried silence over the call.

“Are you planning to have a date with your girlfriend?”

“Uh, yeah.” He said nervously.

“Is it possible..” She hesitated. “You could bring her over. I’d love to meet her. A family dinner is a perfect way to get to know her, right?”

Jungkook gulped. “I’m not sure..”

“This would be the perfect Christmas present for your Mom.” She laughed. “Can you just bring her along?”

Jungkook knew what he said next would bite him back in the ass. “Ok Mom.”

She cheered over the call. “I’m going to cook a feast! Is there a food I should make specifically that she likes?” She asked in a bright voice.

“Anything but seafood.” He bit his bottom lip knowing he was digging his own grave at this point.

“Ok, noted! I’ll see you tomorrow around six.”

“Alright, see you then.”

“Bye Honey.”

Jungkook ended the call and let himself flop onto the bed. He blankly stared at the ceiling trying to figure out how he could get himself out of this mess. After shooting down every stupid idea that popped up in his head he sat up and looked at the sleeping form underneath the blanket. He crawled over to the empty spot and saw the blanket covering the older boy’s mouth, his cute nose peaking out. He was almost offended by how cute Namjoon looked as he slept and couldn’t control himself as he leaned over to move the hair out of the older boy’s face and kissed the top of his nose. He pulled back when Namjoon began to stir in his sleep.

“Mmm..ya up already?” Namjoon stretched and his bare chest was exposed.

“Not on purpose. I was woken up by a call.”

“What was it? It must’ve been important if it’s this early.“

He averted his eyes. “Um. It was my mom. She called to invite me to a dinner tomorrow.” Jungkook sighed. “And she asked me to bring my girlfriend.”

Namjoon raised an eyebrow. “Girlfriend? Did you tell her you have a girlfriend?”

“No.. that’s all because of Jimin Hyung. He basically said I was dating someone and my mom obviously thinks it’s a girl.”

“So, should I just show up in a wig and hope for the best?” The older boy tried to contain a laugh.

“Hyung!” He whined. “This is serious.. I don’t know what to do.”

“Just say she got food poisoning and couldn’t make it and go alone.” Namjoon said casually.

“What? What about you?”

“It’s just dinner. I can still spend the rest of the day with you.” He smiled warmly at the younger boy as he layed his hand on top of Jungkook’s thigh.

“Are.. you sure?” Jungkook frowned.

“Yeah. And you know what? We can do everything I planned to do tomorrow, today instead.”

“Really? You don’t have an expensive reservation booked that you have to cancel right?”

Namjoon chuckled. “No. You don’t have to worry about anything like that.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. And I actually didn’t want to wait another day so this isn’t some terrible, end of the world thing. I want you to have time with your family too, that’s important.”

Jungkook couldn’t argue with the last part. He nodded his head in acceptance. “Ok.”

“But I should probably get everything ready.”

“Everything?” He smiled wide.

“Ah.. yeah. I prepared something.” Namjoon fiddled with the blanket still wrapped around his waist.

“Now my present is gonna seem so pitiful.” The younger boy pouted.

“You could literally give me a rock and I’d be happy.”

“You _would_ like a rock.” Jungkook giggled.

“Or a pile of leaves.”

“I’ll keep these in mind for your next birthday.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened slightly at Jungkook. The younger boy thought he said something wrong but then Namjoon’s eyes became soft and gentle. “You’re thinking that far ahead.” He didn’t say it as a question but as a statement. He looked at Jungkook and his smile was beautiful.

“I’m.. uh, is that weird of me? It’ll only be a couple months we’ve been together soon and-”

Jungkook was stopped mid-sentence as Namjoon pulled him in for a sweet kiss. It was delicate and comforting. Namjoon smiled into the kiss and leaned back to look Jungkook in the eyes. “It’s not weird. I’ve been thinking about us long term too.” His dimples showed as he smiled.

Jungkook sat up on his knees and placed his hands on either side of Namjoon’s face. He looked down at the older boy and felt so effortlessly happy. Namjoon cutely stared up at him, not knowing what Jungkook was doing. He slowly left kisses all over Namjoon’s face. He started with his dimples, his favorite thing to kiss right after the older boy’s plump lips. Then his nose, forehead and chin. He kissed every freckle and mole he could see, even kissing ones he found on Namjoon’s bare chest. The older boy’s eyes naturally shut the more Jungkook softly kissed his skin.

“Jungkookie..” Namjoon’s eyes stayed comfortably closed.

“Mm?” His lips were pressed against the older boy’s collar bone.

“If you keep this up I’m gonna melt into the bed.”

“It’s still early enough.”

“Early enough?” Namjoon opened his eyes with a grin. “I didn’t expect you to be this eager in the morning.”

“How could I not be with you only in your underwear under that blanket.”

“I’m looking forward to more mornings like this.”

Namjoon wrapped his arms up and around Jungkook’s neck and pulled him up for a hungry kiss. The older boy’s back hit the mattress hard as Jungkook layed on top of him pulling away the blanket to uncover Namjoon’s delicious body. He pulled away and didn’t even care that he audibly groaned out as he saw Namjoon’s thighs in all their glory. He lightly ran his fingers over the taught skin and the older boy twitched under his touch.

“T-that tickles.”

They broke away from their kiss and Jungkook decided to move his attention to under Namjoon’s waist. He crawled backwards and he held a gaze with Namjoon as he hovered over his crotch.

“I’m repaying you for last night.”

“Seriously?” Namjoon’s face was flushed as he tried to hide behind a hand.

“Talk me through it? I’m completely new to this.” He bit his lips as the older boy peeked behind his hand.

“Dammit. I wasn’t prepared to get this in the morning.”

“But you’re already getting hard.” He placed a hand on Namjoon’s clothed cock and the older boy twitched again.

“Shit.”

“Just tell me if I do something wrong.” Jungkook stroked Namjoon and the older boy simply nodded before he layed his head down on the mattress.

He stared at the body he dreamed about since the age of sixteen. He had his first wet dream after seeing Namjoon sucking on a lollipop in the hallway. He doesn’t clearly remember the dream since it had be so many years ago but he _did_ remember the thought of Namjoon in those boxers he saw the first day he met him. And all he wanted to do was take them off. Now, by some twist of fate he was going to do that very thing, with the _real_ Kim Namjoon.

He placed his fingers at the top of Namjoon’s underwear, he stopped for a moment to take it in but soon slowly pulled them down. The older boy helped the process as he lifted his hips so Jungkook could easily removed the piece of clothing. He pulled them completely off but couldn’t help but gawk at Namjoon’s now exposed cock. Jungkook thought he was crazy but somehow even Namjoon’s cock was gorgeous. He laughed at himself internally for even thinking it but the more he looked at the pretty curve and shape he couldn’t argue with it.

He wrapped his hand around the shaft and experimentally pumped it a couple times. Namjoon wiggled underneath him and he enjoyed it way more than he thought he would. He remembered the way the older boy touched him the night before, heavily paying attention to the tip. So he decided to do the same. First he tried with his hand. He cupped the tip of Namjoon’s cock and massaged it. He looked up to see a reaction and was pleased to see the older boy biting down on his lips.

Jungkook already grew tired of waiting and leaned over fully and licked up the shaft, the same that was done to him. He was a little worried about the size, not sure he could fit much in his mouth but he didn’t dwell on it long because the next moment he took Namjoon inside. The older boy jolted at the action and he quickly started to use his tongue to tease the older boy as he took more inside his mouth. Jungkook was completely shocked by the fact that he was able to take almost all of Namjoon’s cock in his mouth. He felt it pressing towards the back of his throat and the older boy's cock twitched in his mouth. As he pulled his lips up to the top Namjoon moaned out.

“Fuck. Do you not have a gag reflex?”

“Looks like it.” He laughed.

“Shit.. I’m not gonna last long.” Namjoon sighed as he covered his face with both his arms.

Jungkook didn’t let the older boy have much time to recover before he began to suck on the tip and swirled his tongue strategically up and around the slit. Namjoon whimpered and moaned and Jungkook could cum just by the sound alone. He pulled away and pumped him at a steady speed. Jungkook looked at Namjoon’s thighs that were spread before him and gulped at the image. He had wanted to kiss those thighs for way too long so as he pumped him he leaned in to pepper the skin with kisses. The kisses were soft and sweet but soon he let his tongue drag against it and he licked them up and down. He even surprised himself when he started to suck and nibble the skin, Namjoon moaning out as he did so. Jungkook had never given a hickey before and he decided it would only be fitting to leave one on Namjoon’s beautiful thigh. He started kissing and sucking on his inner thighs and Namjoon’s legs naturally spread more open for him. He eyed the skin and picked the crook in between his crotch and thigh and began to suck hard on the skin. Namjoon squirmed underneath him as he sucked and licked until he was satisfied. When he pulled away he saw a decent sized mark forming and decided to go back to Namjoon’s neglected cock.

Jungkook spared no time and took Namjoon’s needy cock back inside his mouth. He let it hit the back of his throat and started to move his head up and down.

“Ahh– fuck.” Namjoon choked back a loud moan.

Jungkook never felt so confident, strangely enough. He was in control of how good Namjoon felt and he was obviously doing a damn good job of it. Who knew Jungkook would even be talented at giving a blowjob?

He massaged the skin he kissed and licked on his thighs as he picked up the pace. He knew he definitely was doing something right when he felt Namjoon’s hands grip his hair as he moved up and down.

“I’m– ah, I’m close.”

Jungkook wasn’t remorseful in the slightest as he twisted his tongue around even more as he tried to hallow out his cheeks as he sucked. Namjoon tugged on his hair and whimpered and it only made him want to suck harder.

“I’m gonna –”

Jungkook pulled away just in time, Namjoon cumming all over the younger boy’s chest. He came hard and there was more than Jungkook expected. He watched it drip down his chest and saw Namjoon gasping for air below him. After a few moments the older boy looked up and his eyes widened.

“Oh shit.” He sat up. “Did it get on your face?” He asked mortified.

“No, no. Just my chest.”

Namjoon leaned over to grab a clump of tissues on the side table and cleaned the cum off Jungkook’s chest. His cheeks were red as he shook his head at himself.

“God, that’s embarrassing.”

“Hyung, I don’t mind.” He smiled.

Namjoon sighed as he threw the tissues in the garage beside the bed. “I can’t believe you. Where the fuck did that come from? You’ve seriously never given a blowjob before?”

“That was my first time.” He said proudly.

Namjoon looked at him dumbfounded. “That was literally the best blowjob I’ve ever gotten. What kind of natural talent…” He trailed off as he got lost in thought.

“It was that good?” Jungkook tried to conceal his giddy expression.

“Yeah. I swear gay scientists created you, you’re too perfect.”

Jungkook bursted out laughing. “Hyung that’s ridiculous.”

“From my standpoint it’s pretty plausible. You’re super hot, have abs, are shy and sweet but can be strong and assertive. And the blowjob.” Namjoon dramatically plopped his back down on the mattress.

Jungkook continued to laugh. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

“You sucked all the rationality out of me.” He sighed.

“I should suck you off more often.”

“Why? You want me completely irrational?”

“It’s fun seeing you so flustered.” Jungkook leaned over and pecked Namjoon on the lips. “But I do kinda want a shower now.”

“Go shower while I try to regain my rationality back.” Namjoon smiled.

Jungkook showered and was given a sweater and underwear to change into, re-wearing the jeans from the previous night. Namjoon was currently in the shower as he dressed in the bedroom. The sweater was warm and a nice deep green color. He slid on the underwear and jeans and looked at himself in the mirror after pulling on the sweater. He somehow looked small in the sweater, but Namjoon wasn’t huge in size compared to him. He remembered seeing the sweater on the older boy before but didn’t recall it being so large on him, oversized yes but not to the point where his hands were hidden completely. But Jungkook wouldn’t deny that he liked the feeling of being engulfed in Namjoon’s oversized clothes. After looking at himself and fiddling with the part in his hair he went to the kitchen for coffee.

Namjoon had started the coffee machine and with luck it had just finished. He rummaged through the cabinets to find two clean mugs and poured the both of them a cup. He heated up some leftovers he found in the fridge and set the table. When Namjoon entered the kitchen with a towel around his neck his face lit up.

“You’re waiting for me?” He sat down as he continued to dry the back of his hair.

“Of course. I only heated up what I found in the fridge and I must say you really need to buy groceries.”

Namjoon sipped on his coffee. “I’ve been living off take-out recently so I haven’t had the chance yet.”

Jungkook clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Hyung, do I need to make you a lunchbox?” He laughed.

“Uh, yes please. And leave little notes inside for me.”

“That’s what my mom did for me as a kid. You’re not five.” He giggled as he saw the older boy pout.

“Ok _don’t_ leave notes.” He said embarrassed.

“Hyung.”

“What?” Namjoon looked up from his coffee.

“You’re cute.”

The older boy set the coffee mug down and looked away flushed.

“ _Really_ cute.”

“Jungkookie please give me a break.” His face was now beet red.

“Sorry, I can’t promise that.” He took a bite of his food and smiled with puffy cheeks.

“Now look who’s cute.” Namjoon smiled.

The flirting continued as they finished off their coffee and food. Namjoon was going to drop Jungkook off at his apartment and pick him up after he had everything _“set up”_. It was still half past ten in the morning so after Namjoon dropped him off he was expecting Jimin to still be dead to the world. He’d probably have to help nurse his friend back to health if he had a nasty hangover.

He unlocked the door and the apartment was silent. Jungkook almost missed it walking past the doorway but saw an extra pair of shoes at the door and furrowed his eyebrows at the sight. He didn’t recognize the shoes and decided to investigate it. The apartment was more in a state of a mess than he last saw it, dirty dishes littering the counter and cabinets left open. The living room was in a similar state, as if someone was looking for something. He felt like something could be very wrong so he knocked on Jimin’s door to wake up his friend. There wasn’t an answer so he opted for just opening it anyway.

Jimin was sound asleep in his bed, wrapped around tightly in his blankets. But beside him was a very topless Hoseok, who was also fast asleep. He blinked at the sleeping forms in front of him and shook his head.

“ _Idiots_.”

He closed the door and went to the kitchen and tackled the dirty dishes to clear his head. He scrubbed the sink for good measure and felt pride in himself when he stepped back and swore the faucet sparkled. He was spooked when he heard some movement coming from the living room but quickly went to see who was up. He caught Hoseok closing Jimin’s bedroom door and the older boy looked at him like a deer in headlights.

Hoseok held his hands up. “This isn’t what you think.” He said defensive.

“Uh huh.” Jungkook deadpanned.

Hoseok had pulled on one of Jimin’s shirts and the older boy noticed Jungkook staring at it. “Lemme explain?”

Jungkook sighed. “Alright.” He sat on the couch but Hoseok stayed standing.

“So, first off, we didn’t sleep together.” He paused. “I took him home because he got pretty drunk. He puked all over the both of us. See, the shirts are over there drying.” He pointed to the drying racks near the living room windows.

Jungkook recognized the sweater Jimin was wearing the night before and the shirt Hoseok wore as well. “Ok.”

“And after cleaning him up he whined and wouldn’t let me leave.”

“Sounds about right.”

“I was so exhausted I ended up falling asleep.” He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I just don’t want you thinking I’d do something like that with him when he’s so drunk.”

Jungkook frowned knowing that Hoseok would never be the type to do something like that. “I know you wouldn’t. It’s just seeing you both in bed definitely gives the wrong first impression.”

“Ah.. yeah. I should probably get going. He’ll probably be out for another hour or so.” Hoseok started walking past him but Jungkook stopped the older boy.

“Wait. I kinda want to talk?”

“Oh, sure.” He said cautiously. “What about?”

“Jimin Hyung.”

Hoseok nodded and sat down on the couch. Jungkook looked over at his friend and saw a mix of nerves and worry across his face. He had no clue how to read the older boy so he thought the best way was to outright ask.

“Are you unsure about how you feel about Jimin or is it denial?”

Hoseok held eye contact with him for a few moments before looking away. “I always try to keep things light. Mostly because I don’t want to get hurt.”

“But that was hurting Jimin Hyung instead.”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah. That wasn’t fair. I know I like him. We clicked immediately.” He smiled.

“I actually didn’t know you two were that close until recently.”

“I didn’t go telling Seokjin Hyung about all our lunch outings because I knew he’d see through it. I didn’t want to deal with it.”

“Well, I understand that. He had a lot to say about me and Namjoon Hyung and it could be a little too much sometimes. _But_ he was always right.” Jungkook shrugged.

“And that's the most frustrating part, Seokjin Hyung knows all. Jimin helped stop the cycle by telling me I liked him, though.” He laughed. “I’m thankful he took the first step because I can’t avoid it anymore.”

“Don’t fuck this up alright? Take things extra slow. The both of you started this backwards so it’s probably a good idea to let things move more naturally.”

“I draw the line at waiting five years like you did.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “I hate that all of you are going to tease me about this for years to come.”

“Absolutely.” Hoseok giggled. “But something is different.” The older boy narrowed his eyes on Jungkook.

“What?”

“Ah.. that’s what it is.” He smirked.

“What?!” Jungkook asked annoyed.

“You ran off with Joonie last night. I doubt you only cuddled.”

Jungkook stared at Hoseok in disbelief. “How the..”

“I don’t know. The air around you is different, or something? It’s hard to explain.”

“I literally can’t do anything without everyone knowing.” He folded his arms and leaned far back on the couch.

“So you two finally did it, huh?”

“Not _it_ , but uh, yeah.”

“Ah.” Hoseok nodded knowing exactly what he meant. “Still major progress for you two.” He giggled.

Jungkook groaned out embarrassed. “I don’t wanna talk about this oh my god.”

The older boy bursted out laughing. “Ok I’ll leave you alone. But I should definitely get going now.”

“Oh, sorry for making you stay longer.”

“It’s fine, I just wanted to work on some stuff so my night is free.”

“Is tonight the date?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

“Uh, yeah. I’m not trying to stress over it.” He sighed.

“Just hang out like you usually do, but maybe go to a fancier restaurant to change it up.”

“Doesn’t sound too hard..”

Hoseok left the apartment and Jimin’s timing was impressive, waking up only a few minutes after he left. Jimin definitely had a hangover but not nearly as bad as he thought. It probably helped that Hoseok was there the night before. His friend was too tired to tease him about leaving with Namjoon the night prior, sitting quietly as Jungkook made some coffee for him. After nibbling on some toast and drinking half of his coffee Jimin was slowly coming back to life.

It was nearing noon when he received a text from Namjoon.

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

11:56am

_I'm finished now. Did you want lunch first?_

 

Me

11:58am

_Ok!!! And yes I’m hungry!_

 

**Namjoon Hyung**

12:00pm

_I’ll be right over ❤_

 

As he waited he got together one of his smaller backpacks and put his gift for the older boy inside. Jimin hovered behind him as he gathered his things.

“I thought we were being lazy today, where are you going?”

“Oh shit I forgot to tell you. My mom called and I’m having dinner with her tomorrow so my plans have changed for today.”

“Is today pretend Christmas?”

“Pretty much. But this is all your fault.”

“My fault? What did _I_ do?”

“My mom only knows I’m dating someone because of you.. and she invited me and my girlfriend over for dinner.”

“Oh….” He averted his eyes. “What are you planning to do about that?” Jimin asked concerned.

“Say she got food poisoning and go alone.”

“Your mom isn’t gonna let it end there. She’s going to ask in the future again to meet the person you’re dating.”

“Thanks for reminding me..” Jungkook said laced with sarcasm.

“Maybe it’s better to say that you two broke up? After Christmas of course.”

“True, but plans could still get tangled like this again because I very much am dating someone.” He sighed.

“This is pretty stressful but have you thought about coming out to them?”

“I’ve worried about it before. A part of me knows they’ll be ok with it but I’m still scared. I mean, even my brother was cool with it.”

“I never had a stressful coming out with my parents since they definitely already knew so I know I’m not great for advice but, you’re parents love you a lot. I think it’d take a lot for them to exile you.”

“But me being gay _is_ a lot. To conservative people it’s something deranged or a sickness. My parents aren’t the most conservative people but they are surrounded by those kinds of people so it’s easy to fall in with what the rest of society thinks.”

“That’s true Jungkookie but I think you’re overcomplicating it. If you think you’re ready to tell them at some point, just do it. Don’t hold back because of the paranoia because it can eat away at you. But don’t push yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I honestly think your mom would be just as excited to meet Namjoon as this fake girlfriend that’s going to the dinner with you.”

Jungkook thought back at how supportive his family had been all his life. They didn’t pressure him to be a certain way as a kid and let him be himself. When he showed interest in drawing his parents said that he could be a famous illustrator if he worked hard enough. When he took up photography they said the same thing. They instilled in him a work ethic but the freedom to pick what he wanted to work so hard for. They had given him so much love he felt awful for questioning it because he was scared to come out. He wasn’t sure if he was ready yet but he had finally come up with a better plan than just going to the dinner alone.

Jungkook’s thoughts were interrupted by a series of knocks at the front door.

“I’ll get it, finish up here.” Jimin walked off and Jungkook zipped up his backpack after picking out a warm hat to wear.

He left his room and saw Jimin and Namjoon talking near the kitchen table. He had to bite his lips to contain a squeal as he saw the older boy wearing his glasses. And to top it off his hair was styled up, just like the night at the club. Jungkook swore Namjoon was the hottest nerd he’d ever layed eyes on. The older boy saw him and smiled brightly at him, his dimples and crescent moon eyes making Jungkook swoon.

“You ready?”

“Yeah.” As soon as Jungkook was close to Namjoon the older boy leaned in for a quick kiss on the lips, making him blush immediately.

“I’ll be stealing him now.” Namjoon tugged on the younger boy’s hand and pulled him towards the doorway.

Jimin laughed at the moment of shock on Jungkook’s face. “Have fun!”

He waved goodbye to his friend after he pulled on his shoes and coat and Namjoon happily dragged him out of the apartment. They held hands down the hall and in the elevator and it felt like they were untouchable. A old man even entered the elevator with them and neither of them let go of the other’s hand. They got a sour look but Jungkook didn’t care at all, he was happy and he wouldn’t let some stranger affect his happiness.

Namjoon let Jungkook pick where they’d eat for lunch. He thought about it probably a little too hard on the car ride but finally settled on something.

“That taco place you took me to before.”

“Really?” Namjoon paused. “You’re ok with going in that area again?”

“I don’t want that lowlife dictating where I go just because I had a bad experience there because of him. The food was amazing so let’s go there.”

“Alright.” The older boy smiled. “Tacos sound great.”

The place was busy like the last time they visited. They waited awhile for a table but it was absolutely worth it once they were sat down. Jungkook wanted to try something different on the menu but ended up ordering the same thing he did the last time. Namjoon ordered something different and once the waitress took their orders they sat and waited. Jungkook admired the décor again, noticing different things since they were seated at a table different from last time. He caught Namjoon staring at him as his curious eyes wandered around.

“What?” He smiled.

“I don’t know, you’re eyes are just really pretty.”

“Oh my god stop flirting with me.” Jungkook blushed as he drank his water.

“But I’ve never told you how much I love your eyes, right?”

His eyes shifted. “Uh, no.”

“Your eyes were the first thing I noticed about you back then.”

“Really?” He asked intrigued.

“Yeah, I thought, _that kid with the big doe eyes is cute_.”

“You’re lying..” Jungkook narrowed his eyes.

“Nope.” Namjoon smiled wide.

“I feel like a pervert. The first thing I noticed were your thighs.”

The older boy laughed. “That wasn’t necessarily your fault. I was in my boxers.”

“Yeah, but you’re definitely more romantic.”

“I admit that, I’m the romantic type.”

“I’m glad because you don’t fit the bad boy concept, you’re just too sweet.”

“But I _did_ punch that guy in the nose at the bar. I’ve got a little bad boy in me.”

“But it’s for a purpose. You’re not out here getting in fights for the joy of it. You were trying to protect me.”

“Then that makes me a bad boy with a purpose.” Namjoon wiggled an eyebrow and Jungkook giggled.

The wait for their food went by fast as they chatted and soon their plates were brought over. Jungkook tried hard to savor his food but it was difficult since it was delicious and he was more hungry than he realized. He finished first and teased Namjoon for eating so low compared to him. The older boy defended himself by saying Jungkook was literally a vacuum when it came to food so it wasn’t fair to compare a robot to a human.

It was two in the afternoon once they had finished off their lunch. Jungkook had asked where they were going next and he only said, _you’ll see_. They drove back out to where the college was and he soon realized where they were headed. Namjoon parked the car and Jungkook got out and stared at the familiar building. He hadn’t been to Namjoon’s studio in awhile, not since they started dating.

“Are you giving me early access to songs you’ve worked on, or maybe you have a surprise inside?”

Namjoon opened the door to the entrance for Jungkook. “Let me actually show you first.” He laughed.

“Ok.” The younger boy pouted.

The older boy typed in the passcode and they entered the dark room. Namjoon flicked on the lights and everything looked the same, maybe a little more tidy this time around. There was nothing set out in the room so a grand surprise was crossed off the list. Namjoon slid his hand in Jungkook’s and walked him over to the computer in the center of the room. Jungkook sat down after removing Yoongi’s pillow, just like he always did. The older boy turned on the computer and went into the files after it started up.

“So,” Namjoon wheeled the chair to face Jungkook. “I’ve been working on this since the day we promised to do it. I was too busy and kind of forgot about it for a little while but I wanted to finish my part in time for today. Yoongi helped me so this is partly a present from him too.” He smiled shyly.

Jungkook caught the name of the file and already wanted to kiss Namjoon. The older boy clicked on “ _For JK_ ” and it finally began to play. Gentle piano notes played from the speakers. He closed his eyes and focused on the smooth melody. Jungkook was sure it was purely an instrumental after about a minute of just piano but was shocked when he heard a low husky voice suddenly on the track. He opened his eyes and looked at Namjoon who was staring intensely at the computer screen, embarrassed. Jungkook smiled so hard his cheeks began to ache even before Namjoon’s raspy voice sang the chorus. It was Fools by Troye Sivan, the song they promised to cover together. He remembered how reluctant the older boy was to sing, saying he wasn’t good. But his voice suited the song so well. He felt his body tingle, goosebumps covering his skin as he listened to Namjoon harmonizing with himself. It was gorgeous.

Jungkook wanted it to go on forever but soon the last few notes of the piano played and it was over. The smile on his face never left and he looked at Namjoon waiting for him to turn his chair towards him again.

“I wanted to record your parts today.” He said still facing the computer. “We don’t have to finish it all in one day but I thought it’d be fun. And I know the lyrics of this song aren’t very fitting for a gift and-”

Jungkook got up and wheeled the chair towards him. Namjoon looked at him wide-eyed and silent. He leaned down to kiss the older boy and Namjoon quickly wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s lower waist bringing him closer. The kiss felt so intimate. Namjoon’s lips felt like clouds against his, soft and smooth. It wasn’t sexual or had a lot of tongue. It was genuinely full of love and Jungkook never felt as happy as he did in that moment.

“I think I love you.” He whispered against Namjoon’s lips.

Jungkook froze after he realized what he said. He pulled away in a panic and started sputtering out words in a nervous frenzy.

“Shit. Uh, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. That’s too fast. But I-I _have_ liked you for a really long time. But we are still a new couple. Dammit. I ruined the mood. I’m sorry for-”

“Jungkookie.”

The younger boy looked at Namjoon flushed. “What..”

“I think I love you too.”

“Huh..” Jungkook blinked dumbly at the older boy.

“I’ve liked you for a long time too. And sometimes I find myself thinking about you possibly getting hurt again and it breaks me apart. I do almost everything with you in mind now. My life revolves around you. I mean, you _are_ my life.” He laughed nervously. “We both have the tendency to think we’re going too fast but we’ve known each other longer than the almost two months we’ve been dating. So, I feel the same way, Jungkookie.”

Jungkook gazed at Namjoon affectionately and he felt all his emotions finally start to bubble to the surface. Tears of happiness fell down his cheeks as he closed the distance between them and hugged Namjoon as tightly as he could.

“Baby?” The older boy rubbed his back soothingly.

“Don’t worry these are happy tears.” He sniffled.

They hugged silently for awhile, lightly swaying back and forth as they held onto each other. After some time Jungkook broke the silence.

“I changed my mind about tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I want to bring you along.”

“W-what? Are you sure?”

Jungkook nodded against the older boy. “We can keep the same plan by saying my girlfriend got food poisoning but I’ll be bringing a friend with me instead.” He pulled away to look at Namjoon. “I’m not sure when I’ll feel ready to tell them I’m gay but I still want them to get to know you. I wanna show you off to my family, even if it’s just as a friend at first. Is that.. ok?”

Namjoon smiled fondly at him. “Yes. I’d love for you to show me off.” He laughed.

“Alright.” Jungkook pecked the older boy on the lips. “They’re gonna love you.”


	31. I Really Want To Kiss You Right Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas shopping and a six o'clock dinner

They stayed in the studio for hours. Namjoon helped him with the pronunciation of the English lyrics and Jungkook let the music take over him. He hadn’t sang in quite some time and didn’t realize the peace it gave him. The older boy gave him great direction as he recorded in the booth. He was both sweet and reassuring but professional when it came down to techniques. They hadn’t realized how long they’d been recording until Jungkook’s stomach growled loud enough for the microphone to pick up.

They ordered in food and ate on the floor. Namjoon having a mat for them to eat on this time, making it a step up from before. Neither of them could decide on a certain food to eat so they ordered a mix of Korean and Thai. After eating absolutely way too much food Namjoon suggested they head back for the night.

Once at the apartment Namjoon brought out their matching pajamas again and they wore them as they cuddled and watched rom com movies. It was such a simple way to end the night and Jungkook couldn’t ask for anything better. He fell asleep wrapped in Namjoon’s arms and slept deeply and peacefully.

Luckily they were able to sleep in unlike the previous morning, well, _he_ did at least. Jungkook woke up to an empty bed but smiled as he heard the clanking of dishes in the distance. Once out of bed he was surprised that he smelled something delicious coming from the kitchen. He saw Namjoon in a bit of a frantic state in the kitchen as he was on his phone while stirring something in a bowl.

“Yeah, I tasted it and it’s not too salty.” The older boy said into the phone as he started to place the food onto side dish plates. “I think I’m good now. Thanks for the help.” Namjoon ended the call but stayed focused on the food in front of him.

Jungkook looked to the table and it was filled with food. There was rice, soup, beef and radish kimchi. He stared at the table in awe and didn’t see Namjoon flinch when he turned around and saw the younger boy suddenly behind him.

“Jungkookie. You’re awake.” The older boy pouted. “I wanted to wake you up and surprise you.”

“Hyung, I _am_ surprised. When did you get all this food? Yesterday you’re fridge was pretty empty.” Jungkook saw Namjoon holding the two dishes and offered to get one.

“Ah, well.. I went grocery shopping early this morning.”

“Really? Just to make this breakfast?” His heart swelled.

Namjoon averted his eyes shyly. “Yeah. I wanted to make you something.”

He sat down in his seat as he watched Namjoon scramble to move messy dishes into the sink to be cleaned afterwards. He finally sat down with the younger boy and smiled sheepishly at him.

“Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Jungkook smiled brightly at Namjoon. “So, you made all of this?”

“Not the radish kimchi. But everything else, yes.”

“Wow.”

“Seokjin Hyung helped me a lot with recipes he thought even I wouldn’t mess up. The kimchi is something he made.”

“Is he who you were on the phone with just now?”

“Yeah. I needed a little extra guidance. But I think I did ok.”

“It looks great. I’m excited to eat it.”

“Let’s eat then.”

Jungkook dove right into the food. He tried the soup first and was delighted by how great it tasted. “Hyung, this is really good.”

Namjoon’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

He cutely nodded as he tried the seasoned seaweed. “This tastes great too!”

“Ah good. I thought I ruined it by putting in too much soy sauce.” Namjoon sighed out in relief.

“No it’s just right.”

They ate the food Namjoon prepared as they talked about dinner that night. He warned the older boy that his mother is known to lovingly pry so he should expect a round of questions from her. He finished the food quickly, the beef being a little overcooked but he’d spare Namjoon the criticism. As the older boy started taking up plates and cleaning the pots he had used to cook, Jungkook escaped to the room for his backpack.

He hadn’t given Namjoon his gift yet. He was planning to once they got back to the apartment but got caught up in all the fluffy romance. He unzipped his bag that was on the floor near Namjoon’s desk and pulled out two wrapped presents. Jungkook tried to get back to the kitchen before the older boy realized he left but saw him looking around the corner for him once he walked out the bedroom.

“Ah, that’s where you were.” Namjoon glanced down and saw the wrapped gifts in the younger boy’s hands. “Are those mine?” He smiled.

“One is? Let me show you what I mean.”

Jungkook motioned for the older boy to sit down at the table again. On closer inspection one of the presents was wrapped neatly and the other looked like an afterthought.

“You not have enough time on this one?” Namjoon laughed.

“Ok that’s why I need to explain first.” He pointed to the messy one. “This is mine.” He pointed to the prettier one. “This is yours. It’s kind of a set? I didn’t feel the need to wrap mine nicely but I didn’t want you seeing it and getting spoiled maybe?”

“A set? Is it a book? That’s a book shape.” The older boy teased.

“No, it’s not a book.” He sighed but smiled after looking up to see Namjoon staring at him sweetly. “I’ll show you.”

Jungkook pulled off the wrapping paper in one swift motion and a picture frame was revealed. He watched Namjoon's curious expression change into one of surprise.

“It’s the picture you took on that day, during the sunset.” The older boy slowly picked up the frame, a sleek black one with a silver trim. “You made me look great.”

“Shut up.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “But..” He said in a more serious tone. “This is how I see you. You’re beautiful.”

Namjoon blushed as he smiled. “Beautiful?”

“Yeah.” He said softly.

The older boy fidgeted in his seat at the compliment. “No one has ever called me beautiful before.” He said in a shy voice.

“You’ll probably hear it a lot more from me in the future.” He blushed at himself. “But this isn’t even your gift. Open yours.”

“Oh. Right.” Namjoon chuckled.

“I’ll just say first, I’ve never done something like this before and I’m still embarrassed and unsure if it’s even good-”

“If it’s what I think it is.. it’s going to be perfect.” The wrapping paper was ripped off and the smile on Namjoon’s face was worth the embarrassment. “This is.. gorgeous.”

In a matching frame a self portrait of Jungkook was inside. He had always been too self conscious to take a self portrait, worried he’d look pretentious in doing so. But he liked the idea of Namjoon having a picture of him in his apartment, knowing it came from a part of him that was very possessive of the older boy.

“This is probably really corny, giving you a picture of me but I thought you’d like it because of that.”

“I love it. This is going on my bedside table.” Namjoon leaned over and kissed Jungkook tenderly, quick but loving. “Thank you.” He said against Jungkook’s lips.

The younger boy melted at his low soft voice. “You’re welcome.”

The both of them worked together to clean all the dishes. It was one in the afternoon when they finished and they decided to get ready early, the dinner being at six in the evening. After he was showered and dressed he found Namjoon studying the clothes he had layed out on the bed, still in the process of picking out an outfit.

“Hyung. You don’t have to worry about looking formal, just wear anything.”

“But I want to make a better impression from the last time I saw them.” Namjoon frowned.

Jungkook had forgotten that his family had technically already met Namjoon but it was under unfortunate circumstances. “You don’t need to worry about that. They had good things to say when they met you.”

“But I never talked with your mom.”

“No, _but_ her first impression of you was good.”

“How?” The older boy asked perplexed. “I’m the guy you were hanging out with when you got hurt. Not a great first impression.”

“Well, you never talked with her but she saw you. She told me about you buying drinks for everyone in the waiting room. I could tell she thought you were cute. We have the same type.” He giggled.

“What? She saw me struggling with the drinks? That’s so embarrassing.” Namjoon let out a strangled sigh. “Wait.. the same type?”

“She thought you struggling was endearing, which I relate to.”

“I don’t know what to do with this information.” The older boy laughed.

“You should wear your glasses, she’d love that.”

“You mean, _you’d_ love that?” Namjoon raised an eyebrow.

“ _Both_ of us would love it.”

“Ok. I’ll charm her with my glasses.”

“Also, I like this outfit.”

He pointed to a pair of jeans and a green and white vertical striped button down shirt. Jungkook was a little surprised to see something more trendy in Namjoon’s wardrobe, the older boy usually looking like he got his clothes from the set of an American indie film.

“Should I style my hair up?” Namjoon asked as he put the other outfit away.

“Absolutely not. She’ll take you from me if you do that.”

The older boy bursted out laughing. “Jungkookie, I’m dating _you_.“

“I know.” He whined. “I know I’m being stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, just unnecessary. It’s cute how you’re worried though.”

Jungkook blushed. “I’ll stop now. Get dressed, I’ll be in the living room.”

He left and felt embarrassed that he was so worried about how his mother would view Namjoon. Obviously she wouldn’t take him away but he couldn’t control an irrational fear of Namjoon being swept off his feet by someone else. He knew it had to do with being with his first love. Jungkook tried to not worry about the idea of first loves not lasting but now that he had Namjoon it was scary thinking of they're love only lasting a short while. He wanted to say “ _fuck you_ ” to whomever first said that about first love. He didn’t want his love for Namjoon to be just that. Jungkook wanted it to be his forever love. But fixating on it wouldn’t help him so he tried to think of the present, which wasn’t hard now that Namjoon walked out of the room in the outfit he picked out for him.

“Hyung. You look hot.”

“Even with my hair down?” The older boy grined.

“You look more approachable and cute with it down, along with the glasses, but the shirt and jeans bring up the hot factor.”

“It’s a good thing I asked Tae to pick out a couple outfits for me.”

“Ah..that explains the shirt.”

“What? Does it not match me?” Namjoon tugged at the collar and accidentally showed a bit of skin.

“It suits you, I was just surprised to see it.” He stood up from the sofa he was waiting on and walked over to his boyfriend. “One thing though.” He buttoned up the shirt one more button. “You can’t have it that open.”

“Why? Tae said that’s how it’s worn best.”

“I don’t need you showing off your collarbone and chest at my family dinner. I might end up dragging you into my childhood bedroom for a make out session and that’s probably not a good move..”

“Oh.. you’re probably right.” He gazed down at Jungkook. “But we’re not at the dinner yet.” He unbuttoned the shirt, undoing what Jungkook did. “You can make out with me here.”

Jungkook watched as Namjoon’s fingers slid down to unbutton another button and he pulled the shirt open to expose part of his chest. He felt his mouth go dry and he gulped as Namjoon kept eye contact with him.

“Hyung.” He whimpered. “You’re not fair.”

“I guess I’ll just button it all up.” Namjoon shrugged.

“Don’t you-”

He pulled the older boy close and their lips crashed together. Namjoon smiled into the kiss as he grabbed the back of Jungkook’s neck to bring him even closer. The older boy skillfully licked into his mouth and he moaned out. He positioned his face in a better angle to let Namjoon kiss him deeper and allowed him to lead completely. He held onto Namjoon tightly as the kiss began to make him light headed. He pulled away gasping for air.

“I don’t think I breathed for a couple minutes.” He panted.

“Sorry.” Namjoon smiled.

“No you’re not.” He eyed the older boy.

“Yes I am! I don’t want to suffocate you.”

“Death by Kim Namjoon’s kiss?”

“Not something I want to see as a headline.”

“Yeah, people might assume it was because you’re a terrible kisser.”

“I'm not right?” Namjoon asked hesitantly.

“You really have to ask that?” He glared. “It’s embarrassing to say out loud but, would I be moaning if it wasn’t good?”

Namjoon looked at him taken aback. “Oh, uh.. no?”

“Next time you question yourself like that I’m slapping you.”

“If you could, please aim for my butt.”

“Hyung.. seriously..” He couldn’t help but smile.

Namjoon looked down at his watch. “It’s almost three. What are we doing until the dinner?”

“Well, we can’t show up empty handed so I thought we should do a little shopping?”

“Good idea. I don’t want to seem rude by not bringing anything. But uh, what should I bring?”

“Did you want to buy the cake? Something cute with strawberries on top.”

“Sure.”

“Let’s head out!”

Jungkook marched over to the door and slid on his coat and hat. He was expecting Namjoon to be beside him but saw Namjoon looking at his phone. The older boy disappeared into his room and a couple minutes later came out wearing a scarf while holding another.

“Here. The wind shield is bad today.” Jungkook stood up straight and Namjoon wrapped the scarf around him, becoming swallowed up by the size of it.

“What about you?” He pulled down the scarf so it didn’t cover his mouth.

“What about me? I’ve got one too.”

“Yeah but it’s so tiny compared to this one.”

“I wanted to lend you that one. Anyways you look so cute wearing it it’d disappoint me if we switched.” Namjoon pouted.

“Ok.” He sighed.

“Thanks baby.” Namjoon leaned in and kissed Jungkook on the nose before pulling on his shoes.

He was glad he kept the scarf on as they left the building, the wind being harsh against the rest of his face. They decided to head to the bakery they visited together last, Jungkook remembering their cakes on display looking really good. The store was cutely decorated for the season, just like the rest of the city. Pretty sparkly snowflake cutouts hung from the ceiling while all the tables were covered in red and gold table cloths. He found himself lost in the details of the decorations as Namjoon looked at the cakes. But Jungkook’s attention was soon on all the Christmas themed cakes and he pointed out his favorite, topped with whipped cream, strawberries and a cute miniature plastic Santa figure in the middle. Powdered sugar covered the strawberries and it looked like it was dusted with snow. Namjoon nodded at him and immediately asked to buy it.

Jungkook happily carried the box as they went to the car to drop it off. “My mom will love this.”

“I’m glad you picked it out. I was a little overwhelmed by all the choices.”

“The little Santa on top did it for me.” He laughed.

Namjoon opened up the trunk and Jungkook placed the cake inside hoping it’d be more secure once he bought something to sit beside it. After the older boy locked it up they walked back.

“So, where to next?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe a department store?”

“Do you know what you’re getting?”

“Um. No. But my mom said she wanted to celebrate Christmas this year like a family. And families buy gifts for each other, right?”

“You’re buying a present for everyone?”

“Yeah. Nothing extravagant. Kind of like, simple things?”

“What kind of things does your mom like? If you don’t mind I’d like to get her something, while you buy for your dad and brother.”

“I like that.” Jungkook smiled warmly at Namjoon.

“I think there is a department store a block away.”

The large building was decorated at the entrance. The area was decently packed with people but not overwhelmingly so. But once inside Jungkook didn’t even know where to begin. He ended up deciding he’d help Namjoon with a gift for his mother first, going to look at stationary. Jungkook’s mother worked as an editor so Namjoon decided on a nice pen.

He watched as the older boy looked over an array of pens with a serious expression. He found it so endearing how much Namjoon cared to impress his mom, even going beyond buying a cake but also a present. After quite a few minutes of thought the older boy picked up a pen that had a very fine tip with black ink, the pen itself being a deep purple. It looked fancy but luckily was one of the least expensive pens. It came with a black box and the person at checkout wrapped a bright red ribbon around it to finish it off.

Now it was Jungkook’s turn to buy gifts. His brother complained to him the last time they talked that he needed some colored pencils that could be used on photographs, saying the ones he bought didn’t show up bright enough. He wasn’t sure he’d find that in the department store so he decided to look for something for his dad first. He remembered his dad’s last watch died and that he had been too lazy to pick out another one. Jungkook knew better than to pick out something elegant, his father preferring function over looks. He asked Namjoon for help, seeing the simple and classic watch he wore.

“I think there needs to be a happy medium between looks and function. And the best way to go about that is buying when things are on sale.”

Namjoon confidently lead the way to the watches that were on sale. It was a satisfying experience to see the original prices of some of the watches as they now were being sold at 30% to 50% off. Jungkook gasped so hard he started to choke when he saw a particular watch’s original price, passerby giving him a mix of concerned and confused looks.

“You ok?” The older boy rubbed his back.

“I’m fine just,” He coughed. “This was originally $230 and it’s now only $45.”

“If it’s that cheap I wonder if something is wrong with it..”

“Should I ask the person at the counter?”

“Why not?”

They waited in a short line to speak with someone and after about five minutes they were next.

“I’m sorry for the wait. How can I help you?” A woman in her thirties said politely.

“Hi. I was wondering if there is any specific reason why this is on sale for such a low price?” He set the watch on the counter.

“Ah, yes. It was a factory mistake. The band was supposed to be jet black but one shipment to us was charcoal black. People were upset about the misleading description of the watch being _jet black_ so we are selling them at a lower price as directed from the company that made them.”

“Oh.” Jungkook wanted to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it. “So the watch itself works fine.”

“Yes.” She nodded her head with a smile.

“Alright. I guess I’ll be buying this.”

Jungkook was able to get gift wrapping as well and he tried to escape the area with Namjoon as quickly as possible before he broke out in a fit of laughter.

“Charcoal black, huh?” The older boy laughed.

“I’m lucky people are so finicky otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to get such a great deal. My dad would be proud of the savings.”

“So, where to next? It’s your brother’s gift that’s left.”

“We should probably go to an art store.”

Jungkook remembered an art store he used to frequent in middle school and hoped it was still open. He gave Namjoon directions as they drove and the nostalgia hit him hard as he saw the small shop with the same “ _we’re open_ ” sign at the door he saw as a kid. He thought back to the older woman who owned the shop and wondered if she was still there as well.

He was elated as he opened the door and the store hadn’t seemed to age a day. He did notice more up to date supplies but the bones of the place stayed very much the same. Namjoon followed behind him closely.

“You came here at lot as a kid?”

“Outside of school and my room this was my clubhouse.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“I’d sit on those stairs.” Jungkook pointed to the back of the store where a lightweight curtain hung. “Those stairs lead up to the owner’s apartment upstairs. I’d draw pictures for her and she’d put them on her wall going up to the next level. I felt special.”

“That’s really sweet.” Namjoon smiled wide at the story.

Jungkook looked to the neglected front desk and otherwise empty store. His attention was drawn to the back of the store when it sounded like someone was coming down the stairs. The curtain moved and he saw a familiar old face.

“Sorry I was upstairs I- oh my! Is that little Jungkook?” The old woman’s face lit up.

“Yes, Grandma Lee.” He smiled warmly at the her.

“You’re all grown up!” She walked over and looked Jungkook up and down.

“It’s been too long.”

Namjoon awkwardly stepped forward. “Hello, I’m Jungkook’s friend Namjoon.”

“Hello dear, it’s nice to meet you.“ She smiled brightly at Namjoon then looked over to Jungkook. “Would you like to come up for tea, for old times sake?”

“Ah, well.” He looked over to the older boy who was very out of place but let them have their moment. “Is it alright if he comes along?”

“The more the merrier! Come on up, I had just finished letting the tea steep upstairs.”

She moved the curtain aside and let Namjoon and Jungkook up first. Jungkook was stunned to see his old drawings still tapped messily to the wall up the stairs. The older boy noticed them right away.

“Are these yours?” Namjoon pointed to a drawing of a boy with a sword covered in flames.

“Yeah.. that was a character I created back then.”

“The dragon slayer slayer.” The old woman said proudly behind them. “He was a dragon reincarnated so in his life as a human he kept them safe.”

Jungkook turned to Grandma Lee eyes wide. “You remember the story?”

“I may be 75 but my mind is still sharp!”

“That story sounds really interesting.” Namjoon said with a smile.

“I wanted to make it a movie and everything.” Jungkook laughed at his younger self.

They made it up the stairs and the apartment looked exactly the same as well. He walked over to the table he used to sit at as a kid, drinking tea she made, just like he’d be doing again years later.

“Sit, sit!” The old woman demanded as she grabbed a couple more cups for her guests.

Jungkook and Namjoon sat beside each other and when Grandma Lee came back she sat across from them. They thanked her as she poured tea for them. It was still a little too hot so Jungkook blew on the hot liquid as he looked around the apartment.

“Everything is the same here.”

“Is it?” She laughed.

“It’s like I’m in middle school again.”

“Well, it makes sense. You’re growing every day and your surroundings usually show that. And you’re young! I’ve been long done with that kind of rapid growth. That’s the good thing about being old, you get to take things slow again.”

“75 isn’t old. I bet you’ll be at it like you are now at 95 too.”

Grandma Lee let out a happy laugh. “We’ll have to test that theory so make sure you visit me all those years from now.” She winked as she drank her tea.

“I promise I will.”

They finished off their tea and she helped Jungkook pick out colored pencils she knew art students liked the best. Grandma Lee ended up giving Jungkook a discount, basically letting him have it for free. He tried to argue his way out of it but it was futile in the end. He bought a simple red bag to put the pencils in so it wouldn’t look too terrible, leaving it in the shopping bag was not an option.

The shopping was done and it was almost time for them to head over to his parent’s apartment. On the ride over Jungkook wondered how everything went with Hoseok and Jimin. He thought that not getting a text from his friend was perhaps a good sign. His thoughts were back on himself when Namjoon parked in front of the apartment building, neither of them making a move to get out just yet. He looked at the time and they had twenty minutes to spare.

“So, I’d like you to know I’m very nervous.” Namjoon admitted.

“Really?” Jungkook stared at the older boy’s side profile.

“I know I’m not meeting them as your boyfriend but it’s still an official meeting. I want them to like me enough so that when you do eventually tell them, that they have a good image of me.”

“Hyung. They already like you.” He frowned. “And once they get to know you they’ll _love_ you.” He took Namjoon’s hand in his and squeezed it tight. “I should warn you though,”

The older boy looked at Jungkook curiously. “What?”

“I didn’t tell my mom about bringing a friend beforehand. I’m gonna kinda drop it on her all at once..”

“You’re kidding..” Namjoon narrowed his eyes at the younger boy.

“If I told her this morning she might have still gotten me to somehow agree to bringing my sick fake girlfriend over. When my mom is determined she’s a force to be reckoned with.”

The older boy let out a loud annoyed sigh. “It can’t be helped I guess.”

“Sorry. I should’ve at least told you.” He said disappointed in himself.

“Just make sure you come to my rescue if your mom attacks me with too many questions.”

“You can count on me.” He gave Namjoon a goofy thumbs up and the older boy laughed at the silliness.

They strategized with the remaining minutes they had to wait and a quarter to six they decided to get out of the car and finally make their way to the dinner. Jungkook carried the cake while Namjoon carried everything else. He started to feel nervous himself when they arrived on his parent’s floor. They lingered at the door for a minute, both of them trying to compose themselves. Right as Jungkook was about to knock on the door the elevator doors opened again and the air in the hallway seemed to become too thick to breathe in.

Taehyung’s father stared blankly at Namjoon who looked back at him shocked. The older boy hadn’t seen the man since he moved out, which was back in the summer. Jungkook didn’t know what to do but before he could open his mouth the older man silently walked away, unlocking the door and quietly going inside. It took a moment for Namjoon to snap out of the trance he was put in.

“That was, strange.” The older boy said perplexed.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah. I knew there was a chance I could see him when I came here but there’s no use running from it.”

“I feel like a complete idiot.” Jungkook said angrily. “I didn’t even think about that. I was so self centered I didn’t even think of that possibility. I’m really sorry.” He looked at the floor ashamed.

“Jungkookie. It’s alright. Look at me.”

He reluctantly held eye contact with Namjoon.

“I’m not worried about that. It has never done me any good dwelling on the past. I want to think about my future, which is you.”

They lovingly gazed at each other until Jungkook let out a sigh. “I really want to kiss you right now.”

Namjoon smiled. “Me too.”

They’re sweet moment was interrupted when the door in front of them opened. Jungkook’s older brother yelped as he almost ran into Namjoon.

“Oh! You're here! Is that a cake?” He pointed to the box Jungkook held.

“Yeah, my friend bought it.” He motioned to Namjoon with his head.

“Friend, huh?" His brother raised an eyebrow. "But you saved me! I was being sent off to buy a cake last minute.”

He let them both inside, taking the cake from Jungkook to bring to the kitchen. His father came from the living room to greet them at the door, even taking Namjoon’s coat to hang. But Jungkook was confused why his father wasn’t questioning him why the older boy was there instead of his “ _girlfriend_ ”. There was no way his mother didn’t talk his ear off about him bringing her over for dinner so why did he not seem phased by Namjoon’s company?

“It’s nice seeing you again.” His father said warmly.

“Ah, yes Sir, it’s a pleasure.”

“Call me father, it’s far too formal if you call me Sir.” The man laughed.

“Oh, ok uh, father.”

“Please. Come in.”

His father lead them to the kitchen where his mother was hard at work finishing off dinner. She made his brother her lowly assistant, yelling at him to make sure the soup doesn’t boil over. His mother didn’t notice him at first but after his dad called out a couple times she ran to hug her youngest son.

“Honey! I’m so glad you’re hear! And your girl-” She stopped as she saw Namjoon standing behind him.

“She uh, got food poisoning so she couldn’t come. I brought a friend over instead.” Jungkook tried to say naturally.

“Oh no! That’s awful. I hope she’s ok.” His mother looked over to the older boy. “You’re Namjoon right?”

“Y-yes. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m glad you came, we never got a chance to speak before. I hope you enjoy everything I cooked. If I knew you were coming I would’ve asked what kinds of foods you like.” She pouted.

“I’m not that picky, anything but seafood.” Namjoon smiled nervously.

Jungkook’s mother eyed him before she reassured Namjoon that she didn’t make any seafood. He wasn’t sure if he should worry about looking suspicious but felt like he could relax as he saw Namjoon talking relatively comfortably with his mother.

“What’s in the bags?” His father pointed out, Jungkook and Namjoon never having put them down.

“Presents.” He smiled.

“Presents?” His mother said in a giddy voice. “For us?”

“Namjoon Hyung helped me pick things out. But he bought the cake and something for you mom.”

“Oh my goodness you shouldn’t have!”

Namjoon’s face began to flush. “It was nothing.”

“Let’s open them after dinner?” Jungkook proposed.

“I’ll set them over here.” His dad brought the bags and placed them near the couch.

As Jungkook’s mother finished up in the kitchen he, Namjoon and his father set up the table. There was a beautiful centerpiece on the table along with red bows tied on every chair. It was simply decorated but still had the holiday feeling just as much as the overly decorated stores they walked past earlier. He set out utensils while Namjoon handled the plates. He glanced over and saw how concentrated his boyfriend was and he smiled softly. When he looked up he lock eyes with his father who was already staring at him. He felt a moment of panic until his dad smiled brightly at him and excused himself to the kitchen for cups.

“Psst!” Jungkook tried to get Namjoon’s attention.

“Hm?”

He waved the older boy over to talk. “Come here.”

Namjoon’s expression was confused but he walked over nonetheless. “Is something wrong?” He tried to keep his voice low.

“My dad just caught me staring at you and didn’t seem phased. Also he wasn’t phased by you being here and he hadn’t even heard the excuse yet.”

“Oh…” Namjoon tilted his head to think. “Do you think he.. _knows_?”

“I don’t know? He’s always unnervingly chill so I have no idea what to think.”

“This could be a good thing?”

“Yeah?”

Their whisper conversation was cut short when Jungkook’s phone rang in his pocket. He was suspecting it to being a badly timed call from Jimin but was surprised to see it was from Detective Jung.

He picked up the call. “Detective Jung. Hello.” Namjoon’s face look concerned as he stood near him quietly.

“Hello Jungkook. I’m sorry this call is so sudden but I need to know your current whereabouts.”

“What? Why?” He furrowed his brow.

“Is that young man also with you?”

Jungkook looked up to Namjoon assuming that’s who he meant. “Yes, he’s with me.”

“And you’re both safe?”

“Safe?” Jungkook gulped. “Uh yes. But Detective. What is going on?”

“We will need you’re location, we are sending men over for your protection.”

“Our protection?” Jungkook asked panicked as Namjoon stayed in the dark outside of the phone call.

“I’m not supposed to tell you the details yet until we are there but, there is a threat against you two now.”

“How does that- what does that mean?”

“We received a threat from Chae Dongwoo.” The Detective paused as he took a deep breath. “We just got information that our man who was undercover was killed..“

Jungkook entire body froze. "What?” He said in disbelief.

“On the body there was a letter written. It was directed to you and your friend.”

“W-what did it say..” He asked in a shaky voice.

“It said that you’re next.”


	32. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Police lights and red wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter still ended up having a lot of soft moments,, apparently it's inevitable
> 
> **Thank you for 400 kudos it means so much!!!!!! Namkook is definitely a lesser loved ship so I'm happy to see everyone enjoy this fic! Love you all (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

Jungkook’s brain went on autopilot. He told the Detective the address and hung up. He began to feel his body break into a cold sweat. The younger boy looked to Namjoon powerless and felt his knees buckle underneath him. Namjoon caught him before he fully lost his balance.

“Baby? Are you alright?”

The older boy wiped the sweat off his forehead and Jungkook blankly looked at him for a few moments.

“You spoke with Detective Jung and gave him this address. Jungkookie, what’s going on?” He pulled out a kitchen chair for Jungkook to sit down.

He tried to pull himself together but his lips trembled as he began to speak. “T-the undercover d-detective, he was.. h-he was killed.”

Namjoon’s eyes widened in shock. The older boy was at a loss of words as he silently sat beside him unsure what to do or say.

“A note w-was left for us, that.. we’re next.” Jungkook could feel his eyes filling with tears. “Hyung. I’m scared.”

Namjoon immediately took Jungkook into his arms and held him tight. “I won’t let anything happen to you, alright? I promise.”

“B-but someone is dead.” He said in a whisper. “This isn’t like the guy in the bathroom at the bar, Hyung.“

“I know it’s not like that. We have the police on our side. Everything will be alright, ok?”

Jungkook nuzzled his face into the older boy’s shoulder. “Ok.”

“Jungkook, Honey! Can you help me in the kitchen?” Jungkook’s mother called from a distance.

They pulled away and Jungkook wiped away any stray tears. “I’ll be right there!” He yelled back.

“Jungkookie. What are we telling them? The police will be here soon.”

“I don’t know.”

“I imagine they’ll be talking with them so I doubt we can make something up. We’re going to have to tell them.”

“Then I have to tell them the real reason why I was attacked in the first place. I already made a lie to cover that up. I’m basically going to have to come out to them.” Jungkook ran his fingers through his hair angrily. “This isn’t fair.”

“Maybe we can still get around it? I don’t want you getting stressed out about that when our safety is the priority.”

“Honey!” Jungkook’s mother called once again.

The younger boy sighed. “I’ll be back.”

He walked away as quickly as he could, before Namjoon’s worried eyes could hold him back. His family stood in the kitchen and he looked at them perplexed. His mother held her hands behind her, looking suspicious.

“So, what do you need my help with?” He glanced over to his brother who winked at him.

“I called you so we could give you this!” His mother pulled out a prettily wrapped box and handed it over to him.

“You got me something?”

“Of course! You’ve been working hard at college and your job, how could we not get you something!” His father smiled.

“Wow. Thank you.”

“Open it.” His mother demanded with a grin.

“Can I wait? I want all of us to open presents after dinner.”

“Ok son.” His father looked over to his pouting mother. “It’ll be more enjoyable that way, right dear?”

“Yes.” She said defeated.

“I’ll put this with the other gifts.” Jungkook’s father grabbed the box from him and walked to the living room.

His brother patted him on the shoulder as he left the kitchen. He looked to his mother and knew he had to warn her that the police were coming over. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

“Mom, I have to tell you something.”

“What is it Honey?”

“Woah! What’s going on outside?” His brother bellowed from the living room.

Jungkook and his mother looked at each other in question before they left the kitchen to see what the ruckus was. He saw Junghyun with the curtains pulled aside, red and blue lights flashing through the window. Namjoon stood next to his brother with a uncertain expression.

“I’ve never seen so many police cars at once. Is something going on at this building?” His brother continued.

He looked to Namjoon for some strength before stepping towards the window. He saw on ground level the men spilling out of their cars, about half making their way to the entrance of the building.

“The police is here to protect us.” Namjoon broke the silence.

“From what?” His brother asked confused.

“The man that hurt me,” Jungkook cut in. “He killed someone and left a threat towards me and Namjoon Hyung.”

“What?” His mother’s eyes were wide with fear.

“Is he here?” His father asked.

“We don’t know? But we’ll be under police watch from now on.”

“How did it come to this..” His mother sat on the couch holding her head in her hands.

Jungkook’s father sat with her pulling a hand down to hold to calm her. He nervously bit his bottom lip as he looked at his parents. He never wished to bring them into any danger but now they waited for the police to arrive at their apartment as their dinner got cold. He wanted to be in Namjoon’s arms but knew it’d look like they were more than friends. He wanted to cry out in frustration.

Five or so minutes passed when they heard knocking at the front door. Jungkook told his parents to stay as he and Namjoon went to answer it. Once out of their sight he slid his hand into the older boy’s and squeezed it. Namjoon squeezed back.

“Just to make sure.” Namjoon looked through the peephole to see if it really was the police. He nodded to Jungkook and he opened the door.

He reluctantly pulled his hand away from Namjoon as he saw Detective Jung outside the door. He recognized the other Detective they met with the Captain before, Detective Choi. A couple unknown officers stood behind them.

“Come in Detectives.” Jungkook motioned for them to come inside.

Everyone filed into the tiny hallway and he felt claustrophobic. Namjoon glanced at him seeing the uncomfortable expression and directed them to the kitchen. Jungkook followed behind slowly letting Namjoon lead the conversation with the police. The Detectives stood away from the couch, his parents looking at the group of men in uniform with a hint of fear. His brother asked the two unknown officers if they wanted coffee, both answering yes. After his brother left for the kitchen Detective Jung began to speak.

“I’m very sorry to be interrupting your dinner.” The man looked over to the currently empty table. “But this was an urgent matter. Our undercover man was killed and threats were made. We have no knowledge of how fast Chae Dongwoo works or his pattern of attack. This is why we came here in such time and numbers.”

“We think he’s working alone. He is part of the gang but this is his personal agenda.” Detective Choi added.

“How long will you be staying here?” Namjoon asked.

“We’ll be watching the building for the night. After we’ll be assigning officers to stay with each of you at all times. It might feel like an invasion of privacy but the next week you both will be looked after especially close. It’s prime time for him to attack again. His note felt eager so we doubt he’d sit too long to make a move. But still, this is only an educated guess by working on other gang cases.”

“So, you’ll be here all night?” His mother spoke up.

“Yes Ma'am. Please go about your night knowing the building will be on surveillance.”

“You’ll catch this guy right?” His mother asked in a stern voice.

“This is most likely his first kill and if we are correct in thinking he’s working alone, the probability of him leaving clues behind for us is high. Everyone on the team is working hard so we’ll surely catch him soon Ma'am.”

Jungkook’s mother nodded her head in understanding. “I need some water.” She sighed out. His father immediately left for the kitchen for her water.

“We will be leaving but two officers will be outside your door.” Detective Choi pointed to the officers.

“I’m Officer Kang and this is Officer Ahn. If you need anything we’ll be on watch.” The officer talking was small but built. The other officer being around the same height and build of Namjoon.

“Thank you.” The older boy walked all the uniformed men to the door and locked it behind them.

Jungkook finally gave in and melted into Namjoon’s arms, his boyfriend holding him tight. He let out a long sigh when they pulled away from the hug.

“I think my mom is handling this better than I thought. I was expecting her to shut down completely.”

“I’m sorry about this.”

“Sorry?” Jungkook scowled. “Don’t you dare start with that again Hyung.”

“I.. I’m..” Namjoon stared down at the floor. “I’m always going to feel guilty Jungkookie. Even if I know nothing I could’ve done wouldn’t have changed anything. People like him are determined for revenge so, I know it’s not my fault. But you got hurt because you know me and that’s a fact.”

“Yes but that doesn’t matter.”

“But if you didn’t know me this wouldn’t have hap-”

Jungkook grabbed the side of Namjoon’s face and pulled his face down to his. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to think about an alternative place where we don’t know each other and none of this never happened. I would never want a reality of me not being with you. So, _please_. Stop thinking like that. Please.”

Namjoon pressed his forehead against Jungkook’s. “I wouldn’t want that life either. I hate thinking this way too. You mean so much to me I’m scared of what could happen.”

“I’m scared too. But we can be scared together, ok?”

Namjoon nodded and kissed his forehead before pulling him into another tight hug. They stayed like that for a few moments before they heard someone clear their throat. Jungkook turned to see his older brother and he let out a sigh of relief.

“Mom is reheating the food so we’ll be eating soon.”

“Ok, thanks.”

“By the way, you two are officially together now right?” His brother smirked.

Jungkook had told Namjoon that his brother accepted him as gay but he failed to mention that he was rooting for them as a couple before they got together. He could clearly see the look of confusion on the older boy’s face.

“Yeah, we’re together.”

His brother walked over and patted Namjoon on the shoulder. “I knew you were just in denial. Take good care of my little brother, alright?”

Namjoon looked intimidated by Jungkook’s older brother but the next moment he was bowing at a 90 degree angle. “I will. Thank you.”

“Oh don’t bow! Just talk with me like a big brother!”

“Ok.”

Jungkook saw the small smile surface on the older boy’s face and he felt so much joy. Junghyun playfully punched Namjoon in the chest before walking away with a laugh. “I’ll be in the kitchen with Mom. Come to the table so Dad isn’t lonely.”

“We’ll be right there.”

As his brother left he felt the stare on him from Namjoon. “So he knew about us?”

“He actually left the apartment that day you came here with the chicken to, uh, help us talk. He even gave me advice on us.” Jungkook laughed. “Not the best advice but he _was_ listening to my issues.”

“That makes me feel way less nervous now. But I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” 

“I’m sorry. I’m really sucking at that today.” He frowned.

“This is important Jungkookie. You need to remember that I’m here for you, for the good _and_ the bad. And the means sharing things with me. I know you’re not used to being in a relationship but a lot of this is new to me too.”

“I know. It’s a bad habit. What’s even worse is this was something good and I still didn’t tell you. It’s not on purpose but I’ll get better. I’m sorry.”

Namjoon leaned down and pecked him on the lips. “It’s ok. Let’s go to the table before your Dad comes looking for us like your brother.”

They walked past the living room and saw Jungkook’s father looking at a tablet seated alone at the table. His father happily waved them over once he saw them walking towards him. The older man sat at the head of the table, Jungkook and Namjoon sitting together adjacent to him.

“What a night huh? And dinner hasn’t even been served yet.” He set down the tablet with a chuckle.

“It’s.. _a lot_.” Namjoon made a guilty face and Jungkook angrily poked his thigh under the table.

“I guess this forces us to have even more family time since we’re staying the night.” Jungkook said trying to lighten up the conversation again.

“That’s true! I have more than enough time to show Namjoon here some pictures of you as a kid.”

“Dad no.” He whined.

“Sir, I’d love that.” Namjoon said with a wide smile.

“Remember! Call me father, otherwise I might not show you the pictures.” Jungkook’s father laughed at himself.

“Yes father! Please show me as many pictures as possible.”

“What about what _I_ want? Dad, don’t you dare show him the pictures of me with that one awful haircut.“

“Father, please show me those pictures first.”

Jungkook’s father laughed. “I will, don’t you worry. Sorry son.”

He continued to pout and whine but was truthfully thrilled to see Namjoon and his father getting along so well. Only a few minutes passed before his mother and brother started bringing out food little by little. Namjoon offered a couple times to help but his mother shooed him away saying a guest should just sit down and enjoy the meal. Both his parents disappeared into the kitchen after all the food was placed out. They both cutely cheered as they showed off a wine bottle they had prepared. Everyone joined in and cheered, but it morphed into laughter as his father started to hum and slow dance with the wine bottle. Their glasses where filled with rich red wine and dinner would finally begin.

“I’d like to make a toast.” Junghyun raised his glass.

“Oh this is a first.” He teased.

“Yes shocking right?” His older brother deadpanned.

“Go ahead Junghyun.” Jungkook’s father said with a smile.

“Alright. So, this Christmas dinner is something very different for us. We are a close and loving family but I think we needed this. I don’t want to lose that feeling of family as me and Jungkook continue to grow older. And thank you Namjoon for being Jungkook’s uh, friend. I know I’m speaking for all of us when I say we’re happy to see Jungkook happy. To close bonds and family! Cheers!”

Everyone raised their glasses and cheered. Jungkook wasn’t used to drinking wine, especially something on the more expensive side. He took a few sips and watched Namjoon chug half of it. He slapped the older boy’s arm and whispered for him to enjoy it, not inhail it.

Jungkook always forgot how much he missed his mother’s cooking until he has it. The soup and bulgogi was perfect, he had to control himself from eating Namjoon’s portion too. The focus of conversation at the moment was how delicious the food was but his mother decided to stear the conversation elsewhere.

“So, do you go to college as well?” She aimed the question towards Namjoon.

The older boy fumbled as he tried to swallow some rice. “No I finished college. I work in music production now.”

“Wow.” His mother said impressed. “Is that freelance or are you part of a company.”

“More recently I’ve joined a company so my paychecks are more stable now.”

“Freelancing can be fun right?” His father joined in.

“I do miss the freedom of being in control of my hours but I’ve always wanted something stable.”

“I understand that. I freelance now, I much prefer it to being tied down to a company.”

Namjoon nodded as he took a sip of his wine. “I used to want to make my own company but I probably need more experience before I could attempt that.”

“That’s smart of you. Personally working with a company only held me back. I’m a writer so I don’t know the world of music. I imagine you need a lot more hands on experience than what I needed.”

“You’re a writer? Do you write novels?” The older boy completely ignored his food now, too involved in the conversation.

“Yes I have quite a few published. That’s how we met actually. She was my editor.” His father smiled wide.

“We broke the rules and dated but luckily he left the company before we got found out.” His mother added.

“You’re first meeting definitely sounds like a story in a novel.” Namjoon smiled.

“How did you two meet?” Jungkook’s father eyed the two of them.

The older boy glanced at Jungkook with a slight panicked expression but smoothly answered the question. “I actually used to live a couple doors down for awhile. But we only became friends this past summer.”

“That sounds like a story in a novel too don’t you think?” His father said as he drank his wine.

“Yeah, uh I guess.” Namjoon fidgeted in his seat.

“Mom, how’s the novel you’re editing going?” Jungkook quickly changed the subject to hopefully ease his boyfriend.

“It’s been going great. I was actually supposed to work with the writer today but she moved it to tomorrow. I’m curious though,” His mother looked at Namjoon. “How many years did you live in this building?”

“Um, under five years?”

“Wow. Crazy how I never saw you until after you moved out, huh?”

“I wasn’t always home so that may be why.”

“Do you not get along with your family?”

“Mom.” Jungkook held Namjoon’s hand under the table.

“What? Am I not allowed to ask that?”

“It’s ok, Ma'am.” Namjoon gave the younger boy a soft smile. “I get along great with my younger brother Taehyung. You may know him?”

The look of surprise from his parents was comical and he couldn’t help but laugh. “He’s Tae’s older half brother.”

“We had no clue.” His mother’s mouth still open from shock.

“You’re both tall.” His father said nodding his head. “I can see it now.”

“Just by their height?“ Junghyun laughed.

Chit chat continued but he saw his mother looking to the window in the living room, the red and blue lights on again. Jungkook didn’t think much of it but he saw the worried look she had.

“Don’t worry Mom.”

The older women sighed. “I just don’t understand why you’re the one being targeted.”

“I told you it’s because I was with Namjoon Hyung that day. He wanted to attack his friend too I guess.”

“Wouldn’t he also try to go after his other friends? Why just you..”

“Deranged people like that don’t make sense, Mom.“ Junghyun was the only one who knew the real reason why he was the only other target. His older brother tried to ease his mother’s worries. ”It all boils down to being in the wrong place at the wrong time.“

The older women finished off her wine. “It’s just a frustrating situation. I never thought in my life I’d be in the middle of some gang fued. It makes me think of that terrible story I saw on the news all those years ago. The one with the lawyer who was sent to the hospital because of the huge case with an ex gang member.”

“I remember seeing that on the news.” His father frowned.

Jungkook stupidly hoped they weren’t talking about what he knew they were. Before he could even read Namjoon’s emotions, the older boy spoke.

“That was on the news?”

“Yes, I’m not sure how many years ago it was but it scared at lot of people. It was a highly covered case but it was so upsetting to see it end in such a way.”

“Did the news say what caused the lawyer to be in the hospital?” Namjoon’s face was tense.

“The women was badly beaten and,” She paused. “Raped.” His mother shook her head. “There was a manhunt for the attacker but there were no leads to follow.” She breathed out deeply. “One thing I’ll never forget is how that woman still gave birth to that baby. She must’ve been strong to do something like that.”

Everyone was silent at the table. Jungkook had never had such a conversation with his family before. He glanced at the older boy to see if he was ok but Namjoon suddenly stood up.

“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”

Namjoon escaped from the table before anyone could speak a word. Jungkook didn’t even try to make an excuse and quickly followed after him. The older boy walked fast and once they turned a corner he stopped dead in his tracks. He slowly gripped Namjoon’s hand and pulled him into his room for some privacy. The older boy didn’t fight him and simply let him lead the way.

Jungkook’s room was plain, just like he had last left it. Only the bones of the room and a folded blanket on the bed remained. He sat on the mattress and Namjoon silently sat beside him. He didn’t know what to say. That conversation was the last thing he ever expected to happen and his brain was in a scramble to find words of comfort to his boyfriend.

“I never really thought about it…” Namjoon whispered. “I was told that the case was heavily covered on TV and in the paper but I never really thought about the people who saw it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” The older boy sighed. “I think sometimes I hoped everything Taehyung’s dad told me was a lie. Even though my mom had her problems, I wished it wasn’t for the reason of me being born in such a horrible way. But hearing your mom talk about it…” He paused. “It _happened_. I guess even to this day I held onto that hope.” He wiped away a tear that had fallen. “I don’t know why I didn’t react this way when the Detective brought it up.” He sadly laughed at himself. “It makes no sense.”

“Hyung..” Jungkook hated seeing Namjoon in such a state. “You weren’t born when all of that happened. I think it makes sense that you thought there was a possibility that it hadn’t. And maybe the reason why it’s affecting you this time is it’s in a more personal setting? It was harder to listen to it coming from my Mom versus the Detective, even for me.” He frowned deeply as he watched Namjoon hide his face behind his palms.

“Today is a disaster.”

“But we’re here. Together.”

The older boy lowered his hands and stared at Jungkook in silence for a few moments. The tears were gone and he softly smiled at the younger boy. “Together.”

They smiled sweetly at each other and Namjoon soon leaned in to leave a gentle kiss on Jungkook’s temple. It was a much needed moment of peace with all the chaos that unfolded during the day. After a little time had passed Jungkook realized they had definitely been gone too long.

“Hyung, you can stay in here if you need more time but I should probably get back to the dinner before they get suspicious.”

“I think I will stay in here a little longer.”

“Ok. I’ll come back after everyone is done eating.”

Namjoon layed down on the bed and Jungkook unfolded the blanket and placed it over him. He kissed the older boy on the forehead before leaving and closing the door. When he made it back to the table he saw his older brother trying to carry a conversation with his parents, both looking a little uninterested.

“Oh Honey! You’re back!”

“What about Namjoon?” His father picked up on his awkwardness.

“He felt a little dizzy so he’s laying down.”

“Is he alright?” His mother asked with concern.

“I think so, after some rest.”

“He’s a lovely young man.” The older woman smiled to him.

“Yeah?” Jungkook’s mood brightened at the praise of his boyfriend.

“I absolutely see why you’re close with him. He’s a good kid.” His father said sweetly.

“A great kid.” His mother locked eyes with him. “But maybe you shouldn’t hang out with him as much. Ya know, as a precaution.”

Jungkook furrowed his brows. “What?”

“He’s a wonderful kid but this happened because you were with him. Now I’m thinking back to when you stayed at his apartment and I’m realizing now that I probably shouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Are you seriously saying that right now?” He raised is voice.

“This is nothing against your friend Honey. I’m just thinking of your safety.”

“What about _his_ safety? If I wasn’t there that day he would’ve gotten hurt instead.”

“You’re _my_ son so I’m going to worry about you first.”

“Really? So you’d rather him hurt than me?”

“That’s not fair to ask me.” His mother made a unpleasant face.

“It literally doesn’t matter if I was there or not. That person would’ve figured out I’m close with Namjoon eventually.”

“Which is why there should be distance between you two from now on.”

“Mom.. you really don’t get it.” He gritted his teeth.

“What don’t I get?” She asked in a shrill voice.

“Dear.” His father placed a calm hand on her shoulder. “Listen to our son.”

His mother sighed and closed her eyes. “Ok.”

“I lied about the reason I was attacked.” His breath was shaky from nerves. He glanced to see his father’s calm face and his mother’s look of disappointment and frustration.

“You lied?” She held her forehead in annoyance.

“Everything I told you was technically true but I left one thing out. The attacker thought we were together.”

His mother waved her arms around confused. “What do you mean? Isn’t that what you said in the first place?”

“No, Mom. Together as in, a _couple_. He attacked us not only because of the feud between him and Namjoon Hyung, but because he thought we were gay.”

“Oh.” She said simply. “But that’s just a misunderstanding then.”

“A misunderstanding? Like, if he thought we weren’t together I wouldn’t have gone to the hospital?”

“Well, I don’t know. But that’s a possibility.”

“Mom, he wanted me dead because he thought I was gay.”

“That’s, _Honey_ , what do you want me to say?”

“That that’s despicable and low for a person to think someone deserves to be dead because they’re gay. That’s what you should be angry and frustrated at Mom.”

“Yes, that’s a terrible thing but you’re not gay so you shouldn’t think to much about that motive.”

Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore. He had truly had enough. “What he assumed wasn’t wrong, about me and Namjoon Hyung dating.”

He didn’t want to see the face his mother wore at his confession but he knew he had to except it whatever it may be. Her eyes looked sunken and tired. He had never seen a look of disapproval from his mother before. It was an awful feeling. She didn’t say a word and Jungkook felt like all the walls were closing in on him. He got up from his seat and bolted to his room. He heard his parents call for him but he didn’t turn back.

He was instantly comforted when he entered his room and saw Namjoon fast asleep. He swore he wasn’t even gone fifteen minutes, the older boy must’ve really been exhausted (emotionally _and_ physically). He sat on the edge of the bed and watched Namjoon’s even breathing, following the pattern himself to calm down. He carefully layed down next to the sleeping boy. It was a bit of an awkward position but he didn’t mind, he just wanted to be near Namjoon. Jungkook didn’t know how long he layed there but sleep never came, his mind too much of a mess to let him rest.

He was deep in thought when there was a soft knock on the door. He ignored it at first but the knocking continued. He let out an annoyed sigh as he got up. He wasn’t sure who to expect at the door but was nevertheless surprised to see his father.

“Dad..”

“Son, let’s talk.” His father’s voice was soft and it made Jungkook’s anxiety from before fade. He nodded and followed the older man out of the room. His father sat down on the couch and patted the seat beside him. “Let’s sit.”

Jungkook sat down and looked at his father unsure. “Is Mom mad?” He asked quietly.

“Just surprised is all. But she loves you a lot.”

“I know she does…” He paused. “You don’t seem upset.”

“Of course not. There’s nothing to be upset about. Minus you lying to us about the real reason you were targeted. I honestly think that’s the biggest reason your mom is upset, that you’ve kept a part of yourself from us for so long.”

“You have to understand,” He sighed. “Coming out as gay is always hard. I knew you guys wouldn’t throw me out on the street as a kid but.. that doesn’t always necessarily make it any easier.”

His father nodded. “Because even outside a loving family it’s still taboo?”

“Yeah. And once I come out once I’ll continue to for the rest of my life. Every time I meet new people or when Junghyun does get married. It’s never ending. But I know I'm extremely lucky. A lot of LGBT kids don't have that family support.

“I’m proud of you. And I’m happy we know now.”

Jungkook looked at his father and his vision blurred as tears began to fall. “Thank you Dad.” He hugged the older man tight.

“I’m honestly thrilled you’re dating.” His father pulled away from the hug with a chuckle. “You’ve never been a people person, even as a kid. It took you a long time to make friends and I was glad you had Jimin and Taehyung in your life. I just want you happy and I can see that when you are with him. The circumstances right now aren’t the best but you really care about him don’t you?“

“I _do_ really care about him.. and I don’t want everything happening right now to define us.”

“Like mom talking about your safety?”

“I get where she’s coming from but I don’t want to be away from him.”

He sat with his father on the couch in comfortable silence, sitting in a half hug. After some time he heard a bedroom door open and saw his mother cautiously walk into the living room. He was surprised to see the guilt in her eyes and didn’t want her to feel that way towards him.

“Mom-”

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t have handled that worse.” She lingered in the doorway keeping distance between them. “I was only thinking of your safety but completely disregarded your feelings. You were trying to tell me but I wouldn’t listen. I’m sorry your Mom is so stubborn sometimes.” She laughed as she tried to hold back her tears.

“Mom, you’re always stubborn, not sometimes.” He grined.

“You’re right.” She laughed but this time it was genuine.

“Come here.” Jungkook pointed to the empty space beside him.

His mother walked over with a jump in her step and jumped onto the couch, landing on top of him and his father. He groaned out at the sudden weight on him but soon burst into a fit of giggles. The giggles were contagious and all three of them laughed as a pile on the couch. They must’ve made a lot of noise because not long after both Junghyun and Namjoon came to see what was going on.

“Did we wake you?” Jungkook asked the sleepy looking Namjoon.

“It’s fine, I needed to get up anyway. It’s already midnight.”

“Wait, it’s that late?” His older brother took out his phone to see the time and it was indeed a few minutes past midnight.

“Today went by fast didn’t it.” Jungkook’s father thought out loud.

“Come sit with us.” His mother gestured the boys towards the couch.

Junghyun sat squished against their father while Namjoon sat with some distance between him and Jungkook’s mother. Much to Namjoon’s surprise he was tugged to sit closer. The older woman clapped her hands together and cleared her throat.

“It’s technically not Christmas anymore but we should open the presents!”

“Let me get them!” His father sat up and brought the pile of gifts onto the couch.

Jungkook helped pass them out and he frowned when he saw that Namjoon didn’t have a present. “Namjoon Hyung is left out.”

“Don’t worry! I thought of something to give him.” His mother smiled brightly.

“Really?” Namjoon looked at the older woman in mild shock.

“It’s not something physical but, I wanted to welcome you to the family. Jungkook told us that you are a couple.”

The older boy’s eyes widened. “What?” He looked over to Jungkook with a confused smile. “You said you weren’t going to tell them yet.”

“It just kind of.. happened?”

“I don’t know how much this would mean to you,” Jungkook’s mother continued. “But I give you and my son my blessing. My boy looks so happy and well, I can only imagine that probably has a lot to do with you.”

Namjoon’s eyes began to water and he looked at Jungkook’s mother completely baffled. “Ma'am I-”

“No, no! Call me Mom!”

“Mom..” Tears finally fell down his cheeks. “Thank you so much.” He sniffled. “Is it ok, can I hug you?”

“Oh of course!” She pulled Namjoon in for a warm embrace and the sight of it made Jungkook want to cry again.

They slowly opened up their gifts one by one. Jungkook’s mother was so touched by the beautiful pen that she hugged Namjoon again and again. Junghyun was grateful for the colored pencils and his father was blown away at the watch. At first he didn’t want to except it thinking it was too expensive. Namjoon explained the amazing deal and the older man couldn’t stop laughing at “ _charcoal black_ ” versus “ _jet black_ ”. Jungkook was surprised with a sturdy black leather camera strap and he knew it’d make him feel fancy once he switched it out with his old boring one. The night seemed to wind down perfectly as they nibbled on cake and chatted. It lasted for an hour before everyone decided to retire to their rooms for the rest of the night. As everyone was saying goodnight to each other they were surprised to hear a knock on the front door.

“Hello. It’s Officer Kang and Officer Ahn.“

Jungkook’s father opened the door and the Officers walked inside. The taller one spoke first. “We just received news that Chae Dongwoo is now in police custody.”


	33. What Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bedroom chatter and an interrogation

Namjoon and Jungkook stared at each other and let out a sigh of relief. His parents hugged each other while Junghyun thanked the Officers.

“He was found attempting to break into your apartment Sir.” Officer Kang motioned to Namjoon. “We had men watching the premises and we were lucky he was so sloppy in covering up his trail.”

“This is great news.” Jungkook’s father said joyfully.

“What’s the next move?” Namjoon asked.

“Well,” Officer Ahn placed a hand to his chin. “He’s not talking until he gets a lawyer so we can’t move forward tonight. A lawyer is coming in tomorrow for him, or I should say _today_ , so hopefully things can start being settled.”

“A lawyer? That’s not going to help you guys right?” His mother sounded worried.

“We gathered a lot of evidence and we are getting DNA tested among other things. The lawyer can only do so much for him.”

“We will be heading back to the station but please be expecting a call from Detective Jung in the morning. You both will have to come in tomorrow.”

Jungkook didn’t want to go to the police station again but knew it was protocol. He felt more comfortable knowing Namjoon would be there with him but no matter what it was always unsettling stepping foot into the station. They thanked the Officers and everyone said their goodbyes once more before disappearing into their rooms. Jungkook flopped down onto the bed as Namjoon closed the door.

“Holy shit.” His voice was muffled against the blanket.

“It almost doesn’t feel real that he was caught?” Namjoon leaned against the door.

Jungkook rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling. “Maybe it’ll feel real when we go in tomorrow..”

He heard footsteps coming towards him then felt the bed dip down. He tilted his head upward to see the older boy sitting on the edge of the mattress. “Yeah, probably.”

“On a more gay note.” Jungkook tugged on Namjoon’s arm and pulled him down to lay on the bed. “I came out and my family accepts us.” He smiled wide and saw the older boy mirror it, dimples and all.

“You really surprised me with that one. It seemed like you weren’t ready to do something like that this morning.”

“This morning? Absolutely not. But when I went back out to the table after you stayed in here, my mom and I got in a bit of a fight..”

“A fight?” Namjoon turned his head to look Jungkook in the eyes. “I never would’ve guessed you two fought earlier.”

“She was saying that I should distance myself from you for safety and you know how mad I get at you for saying anything like that, I wasn’t having any of it from her either.” He sighed. “It was getting too hard to explain around the lie so I ended up telling her the truth about why I got attacked, at first saying it was because he _thought_ we were together. Ultimately I got fed up and finally said we are a couple.”

“I know that wasn’t the ideal way to come out but I’m proud of you.” Namjoon leaned forward and softly kissed Jungkook on the lips.

Jungkook blushed at the older boy. “It feels kind of scandalous kissing you in my parent’s place. I’ve never kissed a boy in this room.”

“What about a girl?” He raised an eyebrow.

The younger boy rolled his eyes. “Why would you even ask that?”

“I take it that’s a yes?”

Jungkook sat up and smacked him on the chest. “No. I’ve never taken a girl home either.”

“Wait. So I’m the first?”

“Um, yeah.” He looked away embarrassed. “Why are you almost all my firsts..” He whispered to himself.

“Almost, huh.“

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.” He sqeaked out.

“I feel selfish but I wish I could have all your firsts.” The older boy looked at Jungkook tenderly.

“That’s not really selfish because I’ve wished that too. But let’s just ignore my first kiss with a girl because you have all my other firsts.”

Namjoon nodded with a mischievous smile. “And some we haven’t even done yet.”

Jungkook’s face was now beet red. “Can we not talk about sex when my parents are two rooms away.”

“I never said a word about sex.” Namjoon smiled with a shrug.

“I hate you.” He deadpanned.

“Mmhm.” The older boy leaned in to kiss him again but licked Jungkook’s bottom lip before he pulled away.

He let out a small whimper at the action and rolled over to nuzzle his face in the crook of his boyfriend’s shoulder. “You’re gonna kill me.”

“Sorry, I’ll stop.” He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around the younger boy.

They layed wrapped around each other for awhile until Jungkook’s thoughts drifted and he remembered the last time he slept in this bed. The sketchbook was no longer hidden underneath him, it now being at his apartment. It still sat lonely with a few other old pieces of memories he had placed in a box but now the room finally didn’t feel like his anymore. This room was now just a room and it didn’t feel sad, it felt like growth.

Jungkook lifted his head to stare at Namjoon’s pretty side profile. “You wanna hear something embarrassing I did after I first saw you?”

“Yes please.” He grined.

“Under this mattress I used to hide a sketchbook. At first I drew random things like buildings and characters I loved but, I started drawing you after I saw you a few times.”

“Used to? Don’t tell me you threw it out.” Namjoon frowned.

“No, I actually brought it to my apartment recently. It’s embarrassing but it didn’t feel right to throw it away.”

“You’re telling me this and now I’m dying to see these drawings but it’s all the way at your place. This is torture Jungkookie.”

“But, if it was under the mattress right now I doubt I would’ve ever told you.”

“What if you’re lying and it really is under us?” The older boy raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll show you another time don’t worry.” He laughed. “But we should probably change out of these clothes. Especially yours, it’s going to get really wrinkled.”

“Good idea.”

They both sat up and Jungkook went through the dresser to find something appropriate to wear to sleep in. A lot of what he found was his father’s extra t-shirts. His father collected old band t-shirts and apparently needed more room outside his own closet judging by the amount he found. Unfortunately he couldn’t find any bottoms to wear.

“We’ve got shirts but no pants.” He looked to Namjoon with a frown.

“I guess we’re going pantless.”

“I’m gonna be cold. This room never heats up well.” Jungkook whined.

“I’ll keep you warm baby.” Namjoon winked.

“That was gross please never do it again.” He turned away blushing.

“You totally loved it.” The older boy stood up and draped his arms around Jungkook's waist.

“Shut up, take this shirt.” He tossed a band tee in Namjoon’s face and the older boy cackled.

“Alright, alright.”

The older boy laughed as he started to unbutton his shirt. Jungkook tried not to stare but once Namjoon pulled the shirt off his gulped and locked his eyes on the exposed skin. As Namjoon unbuttoned his pants Jungkook's eyes flickered between the muscles in his arms and his flat stomach above the band of his underwear. He sighed internally wishing he could touch him but decided to ignore the urge as he pulled his own shirt off.

“I saw you looking.” Namjoon said with a smirk.

“What do you expect? You’re hot.”

“What about you? Mr. _I have abs and a gorgeous face_?”

“Excuse me you have unfairly sexy lips and cute dimples. Don’t even get me started on your body proportions.” He said with a huff.

Namjoon bursted out laughing. “Are we going to aggressively compliment each other until we fall asleep?”

“Should we?” He cracked a smile.

“I’m a little tired, maybe tomorrow?”

“Deal. Prepare yourself because I’ve got a lot to say.”

They laughed as they crawled into bed. Namjoon followed through with his promise and kept Jungkook warm. They held each other and it wasn’t long before they fell asleep. He didn’t set an alarm but was woken up out of a deep sleep by his phone ringing, similar to two mornings ago. He groaned as he rolled out of bed and found his phone on top of the dresser. Just like the Officers said, Detective Jung was calling and it was nine in the morning.

He answered the call and hoped his voice didn’t sound too scratchy. “Hello?”

“Hello. This is Detective Jung and I need you and Kim Namjoon to come down today, as early as possible would be best.”

Jungkook stifled a yawn. “Alright. Is his lawyer already there?”

“Yes, he arrived promptly this morning.” The Detective said with a touch of annoyance. “We will be doing a round of questioning in a half-hour and we would prefer having you at the station at that time so I’ll let you go.”

“We’ll be over as quickly as we can.”

He hung up and let out a sigh. He figured they’d be seeing Chae Dongwoo in person and it was hard to process. The awful man would no doubt be handcuffed but that wouldn’t take away the fear Jungkook felt in seeing a person that wanted to do him harm. He looked over and saw Namjoon’s peaceful sleeping face and wished he could crawl back into bed and ignore the outside world. But time waits for nobody so he reluctantly walked over to the bed and gently shook the older boy awake.

“Hyung we have to be at the police station in under a half-hour.”

Namjoon turned away and groaned. “I’ll be up.” He pulled up the covers and got cozy again.

“Hyung. Seriously, we need to move our asses.” Jungkook tugged the blanket off the older boy and shook his shoulders violently.

“Wow you’re rough this morning. What happened to waking up to blowjobs?” Namjoon rubbed his eyes as he finally sat up.

He blushed as he rolled his eyes. “Don’t mention blowjobs at my parents place or I won’t ever give you one again.” He said sternly.

The older boy made the motion of zipping his lips closed and quickly got out of bed. “Ok so no time for showers huh?”

“Maybe a quick five minute one at most?”

Namjoon sniffed his armpit. “I think I’m passable.”

“But about our clothes..” He looked at the trendy shirt Namjoon wore the previous day and thought it wouldn’t be fitting. “I’ll ask my dad if he has something you could borrow.”

Jungkook left the room after he slid on his pants. He found his father drinking coffee at the dinner table with his tablet. His father greeted him with a bright smile.

“Good morning, son. Did you and Namjoon sleep well?”

“Morning.” He sat across his father at the table. “Yeah we did but I got a call from the Detective and we’re going to head over to the station soon.”

“Oh, that quickly?”

“He wants us there when they’re questioning the guy. Also, I was wondering if Namjoon Hyung could borrow a shirt to wear?”

“Do you not need one?”

“I should be fine wearing what I had on yesterday.”

“I think I’ve got some plain button downs, will that be ok?”

“Yes, thank you.”

His father ended up giving him a white button down shirt and now as he watched Namjoon pull it on and tuck it inside his jeans he wondered if trying to change the older boy’s outfit was a bad idea. He oogled Namjoon and it only got worse when he put on his glasses. He sighed and his boyfriend noticed.

“You ok?” Namjoon’s voice was concerned and Jungkook felt bad that he was just acting like a touch starved teenager.

“I’m fine. I’m just being stupid because you’re hot.”

“Oh.” The older boy ran his hand through his still disheveled hair. “I guess that’s better than you feeling uneasy.” He leaned over to kiss Jungkook on the lips and pulled away with a sweet smile.

He wouldn’t say he wasn’t uneasy entirely but seeing Namjoon’s beautiful smile _did_ help. They had gotten ready in about ten minutes and were now putting on their coats at the door. Jungkook’s mother was getting ready to head out herself and stood at the door with them saying goodbyes. Just as Jungkook was opening the door to leave, his mother yelled for him to wait.

“Wait, wait!” She motioned to Namjoon. “Honey, you’ve got a hair sticking out in the back. Let me get it for you.”

Namjoon cutely smiled at her, loving the attention. “Yes, Mom.”

He lowered his head so she could reach him and patted the hair down. “Ah, it’s being stubborn.” She licked her fingers and once again patted the hair down and it finally stayed in place. “There.”

“Mom that’s so gross.” Jungkook grimaced.

“It’s my mom instinct, sorry.” She laughed. “Make sure you keep us updated on everything alright?”

“We will. Bye.” Jungkook waved again and dragged Namjoon with him out the door.

He glanced over to the older boy as they walked inside the elevator and saw a goofy smile plastered over his face.

“You look pleased.” He pointed to the top of Namjoon’s head. “Even with my mom’s saliva in your hair?”

“I like her. And it was sweet.” The older boy took a step towards him and slipped his hand into Jungkook’s. “Thank you for bringing me.”

He watched as Namjoon’s goofy smile morphed into a gentle one. Jungkook smiled back at him. “Thank you for coming with me.”

________________________

 

They made it to the station with five minutes to spare. Detective Jung was waiting for them and immediately took them into a room. Jungkook had seen it on TV dramas and movies but never in person. On the other side of the glass was a small table and three chairs. It was the interrogation room.

“Please, sit down.” The detective gestured towards a few metal chairs.

The chairs were incredibly uncomfortable but it was either that or standing. Detective Jung stood near the door with his arms folded. He looked tense and it made Jungkook worried.

“Detective Choi will be with you in this room when I start the questioning. It’s hard to gauge how this will go, especially with this lawyer.”

“What’s with the lawyer?” Jungkook asked hesitantly.

The Detective sighed. “This lawyer always gets assigned to my gang cases and he’s somehow won against us even when we had good evidence. Last time I saw him he lost the case so I really hoped I wouldn’t see him again.”

“Is it normal to be assigned to gang cases like he is?” Namjoon spoke up.

“It’s not like he’s specialist in gang crimes so, no. I found it suspicious so I had Detective Choi look into him for me and apparently he’s clean.” He unfolded his arms.

“Did you think he was hired by the gang to help them out?” Namjoon stared at the empty interrogation room.

“That was my theory but it doesn’t matter since there is nothing to back it up.”

The door behind Detective Jung suddenly opened and Detective Choi entered the room. “They’re ready for you Sir.”

“Thank you.” The man turned to Jungkook and Namjoon. “I’ll talk with you both afterwards.”

The Detective left the room and the other man took a seat on one of the metal chairs. Jungkook started to feel anxious so he got out of the hard chair and stood next to the glass. He flinched when the door in the other room opened and he saw an officer walk in before a man in a dusty grey suit walked inside. He held his breath when Chae Dongwoo entered in handcuffs. He flinched again when he felt something on his hand but finally breathed again as he turned to see Namjoon stretching out his arm to hold Jungkook’s hand.

“It’s ok.” The older boy whispered.

Namjoon stood up himself and pulled Jungkook close, completely ignoring the Detective in the room with them. It didn’t seem to matter as Detective Choi was entirely focused on what was going on in the interrogation room. But soon all of their attention was on Detective Jung as he entered the room. The uneasiness from before was gone and replaced with confidence and an intimidating atmosphere. Jungkook would’ve cracked under the Detective if it was him but Chae Dongwoo wasn’t phased by it, a condescending smile spread across his face. Jungkook definitely gave the Detective credit for not smacking that smile off the man’s snobbish face. Detective Jung sat in his chair across from the middle aged lawyer and criminal. “You’ve got your lawyer, now let’s talk.”

“Civilly of course.” The lawyer said as he opened his briefcase.

The Detective’s back was facing them so Jungkook couldn’t see the face the man made at the annoying comment. But he reminded himself that the man was a professional.

“We’re always civil here. Even to murderers.”

The smug face Chae Dongwoo wore was gone. The lawyer immediately pointed at the Detective. “Alleged murderer.”

“Right. How’s that going to work in court when we’ve got his DNA all over the victim’s body?”

“You’re bluffing.” The criminal said with a growl.

“If that’s what you want to believe. But remember, you always get less time when you confess to the crime versus you claiming innocence.” He shrugged. “Just some food for thought.”

“It doesn’t matter even if I end up in prison. There’s always a fly on the wall. It won’t end here.”

“Mr. Chae, that’s enough.” The lawyer said in a slight panicked voice. He turned and scowled at Detective Jung. “Are we done here?”

“It’s up to him.” He directed himself to the man in handcuffs. “Do you want to confess to anything?”

“You caught me breaking into that homo’s apartment. That’s all you got on me.”

“Hm. You think pretty highly of yourself don’t you? You really think you covered up your tracks?”

Chae Dongwoo gave the Detective the dirtiest look but didn’t utter a word. The lawyer stood up and closed his useless briefcase. “We’re done here.”

The officer from before lead them out and Detective Jung turned to the two-way mirror and gave them a nod. Jungkook got scared thinking they were seen the entire time but knew that wasn’t really the case. A couple minutes later the Detective came back and invited them to his office for a change in scenery. Detective Choi quietly went his separate way. Jungkook was elated to see a seat with a cushion and sat down with a smile. Namjoon still stood and looked stiff. The Detective sat behind his now organized desk and looked to the boy.

“Are you alright?”

Namjoon nodded. “I’m fine but what did he mean when he said that there is always a fly on the wall?”

That statement stood out to Jungkook as well when he heard it. “It sounded like a threat..”

The Detective sighed. “That’s something gang members always love to bring up. It’s most of the time used as a way to scare us but we don’t have anyone who could possibly be working against us here.”

“How can you be so sure?” Namjoon crossed his arms.

“Everyone that we hire has a thorough background check. Back in early in the 2000s there was a gang member who worked here as a janitor. Luckily he was caught before there was too much information shared. Since then every single person that works in this building has to be checked out and cleared by us.”

“So, there’s no way?”

“He’s absolutely using the same tactic every other gang member I’ve met has used. Don’t worry.”

Namjoon finally looked a little bit relieved and sat down next to Jungkook. “What about the DNA? Results don’t come in that fast.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Ah, that. I _was_ bluffing." The man smiled. "We usually have to wait a couple weeks for results to come back.”

“What? Really?” Jungkook looked back and forth between his boyfriend and the Detective.

“But we know he did it. He left a note threatening the both of you. He didn't sign it of course but he's the only one with a motive to kill our Detective and threaten you. We will continue to gather our evidence but I’m sure everything will add up accordingly.”

“And now we just wait?” Jungkook bit his bottom lip nervously.

“Yes but luckily he will be in custody for breaking and entering. You should feel more safe now.”

“What about the gang leader? You can’t just ignore the time Jungkook had a surprise meeting with him.”

“We’re unfortunately back to square one with that. I still don’t have any evidence that he wants either of you harmed. The only way I could work that angle and get you protection again is if Chae Dongwoo confessed about his gang activities and the leader. I’m really sorry.”

Jungkook and Namjoon left the Detective’s office with mixed feelings. But they weren’t able to dwell long on anything as they left the building and were surrounded with camera flashes and people shoving microphones at them asking questions at lightning speed. Nobody had warned them that there would be press there. They looked back at the entrance and saw Detective Choi waving them back in. They pushed past the crowd and were once again inside.

“I had no idea anyone would be here. We haven’t even put out any statements about the arrest.”

“How could they possibly know anything then?” Jungkook asked in confusion.

“It must’ve been leaked onto social media by bystanders who witnessed the arrest. It’s not like it’s the first time people upload police arrest videos and it gets a lot of attention.”

“What do we do?”

“You don’t have to answer a single question. I can let you out the back way to avoid them though. It’s always funny to see them wait for a scoop but never get it.” The Detective grined.

“How long will they wait out there until they realize we escaped?” Jungkook tried to contain a laugh as Detective Choi showed them the way.

“It really depends on how stubborn they’re feeling. Sometimes forty-five minutes other times four hours.”

“Wow. The next time we see each other tell me how long they waited.”

“Will do.” The man gave Jungkook a thumbs up as he opened another door for them. “Just walk straight and it’s the last door on your right. You won’t miss it, it’s got the word _exit_ written on it.”

“Thank you.”

“Have a good day now.” Detective Choi smiled as he left.

Jungkook was surprised to see a little bit of a less professional side of the Detective. It was a refreshing side to see and he appreciated the lighter atmosphere to the heavy one. Namjoon lead the way to his car, they had luckily parked on the side instead of the front so they missed the press. Once inside the vehicle he let a long sigh out and leaned his head back on the headrest.

“What now?”

“Well,” Namjoon grumbled. “Unfortunately I have to work.”

“Does your boss know yet about everything?”

“I texted my boss last night but I haven’t gotten anything yet.” The older boy pulled out his phone from his pocket. “I forgot we put our phones on silent to go in the station.”

“Oh, yeah.” Jungkook pulled out his phone as well and he was greeted with twenty unread messages. “Shit. I got a lot of texts.”

“Me too. My boss said I can come in later though.”

“So, I’ve still got you for a few hours?”

“Seems like it.” Namjoon smiled.

Before they left the older boy replied to some texts. Seokjin, Yoongi and Taehyung sent him multiple messages asking if they were alright. Hoseok had said he saw a video on Twitter of an arrest and freaked out since he recognized Namjoon’s apartment. Seokjin wanted the boys to go his apartment as a meeting spot, everyone already being there.

Jungkook sent texts to his family members to give them a quick update. Jimin and Taehyung had blown up their group chat asking his whereabouts. He felt awful that he didn’t text everyone the night before to give them a heads up. The whole situation was so stressful it completely slipped his mind. He tried his best to explain that he was ok but that it’d be easier to tell them everything in person. They replied instantly saying they were at Seokjin’s and Yoongi’s apartment and they’d be waiting there. Yoongi unfortunately was already at work but Namjoon thought it’d probably be better telling him alone because he knew his history. Jungkook wondered if the older boy would always keep that past hidden from the rest of his friends. It was obviously Namjoon’s choice and he would never meddle but he still sat and thought of how freeing it could be for the older boy. But the only thing he could do for him was wait in support for the day Namjoon was ready.

They arrived at their friend’s apartment shortly and as they knocked on the door they heard a stampede of people coming to the door. Taehyung opened the door and threw himself onto Namjoon. Taehyung immediately began to cry as he held onto his brother and Namjoon looked shocked.

“T-tae?”

“Hyung! I was so scared. Why didn’t you tell me? I had to see a video on Twitter about it and I thought-” Taehyung choked on a sob.

“I’m so sorry Tae.” Namjoon held the back of his little brother’s head and closed his eyes. Jungkook watched as tears fell down the older boy’s cheeks. Namjoon clenched his jaw to try to compose himself. “I texted my boss but not you. I’m seriously a moron. I’m so sorry.”

Jungkook began to get emotional himself seeing his boyfriend cry as he hugged Taehyung. But in the next moment he was pulled into a violent hug from Jimin. He squeezed him uncomfortably tight but he ignored it as he heard his friend sniffling.

“You’re both so stupid for not contacting any of us.” Jimin mumbled into his shoulder.

Jungkook looked up to see Seokjin and Hoseok looking exhausted but relieved. He frowned knowing he made them worried sick for hours. He didn’t know why it only dawned on him then but they truly were his second family. And they deserved to be treated like a family. He held Jimin and whispered apology after apology. They were finally dragged inside and seated on the couch. Seokjin went to make tea for everyone and they sat in silence in the living room. After five minutes the oldest came back with a tray of tea in a variety of cups and mugs. Jungkook sipped on the hot liquid and hummed out in delight at the welcoming warmth.

Jungkook and Namjoon slowly but surely explained everything that had happened. The room was eeriely quiet the entire time and the looks of terror and shock from his friends was hard to see. Namjoon sighed in the seat beside him and folded his arms.

“Now I’m realizing my apartment is being searched for clues so I can’t go back yet.”

“You could stay here.” Seokjin offered.

“I don’t know..”

“How long will the police need your apartment?” Taehyung asked.

“A few days at least. They didn’t say it to my face but I think they’re looking through my place like a crime scene, I mean, more than a breaking and entering. They already caught him breaking in so they don’t need days to search my apartment to back that up.”

“What would they be looking for?” Hoseok asked confused.

“They found him because he wasn’t good with covering his tracks. Maybe they’re thinking he left things at my place that connects to that?”

“What if..” Taehyung said hesitantly. “What if he wanted to frame you for the murder?”

“That seems like a stupid idea on his part if that was true.” Seokjin scoffed. “He was with Jungkook the whole time so he’s got an alibi.”

“Hyung. Where will you stay until then?” Taehyung fidgeted with his cup.

“Maybe a hotel?”

“Namjoon why would you waste your money when I already said you could stay here?” Seokjin sighed.

“I would be in the way. That’s why I don’t want to impose of you either.” The older boy eyed Jungkook. “I know you want to offer but it’d be too much with three people in that apartment for a few days.”

“I have an idea.” Taehyung said confidently but his eyes gave his uncertainty away. “Why don’t you come home? I promise my dad won’t give you trouble, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Tae… that really wouldn’t work.”

“But that building has security and it’d be safe.” Taehyung explained.

“I really don’t think -”

“Hyung. Please.”

Taehyung stared at Namjoon with an intensity he’d never seen from his friend before. Jungkook watched as Namjoon’s demeanor changed completely and the older boy reluctantly gave in.

“Ok.“ Namjoon paused. "I’ll stay there for a few days.”


	34. This Isn't Fair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Torn up memories and a changed man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise everyone!!! This chapter is from Namjoon's POV! 
> 
> I'd advise you get a box of tissues for this chapter.. :'(

Namjoon was worried what he got himself into. He looked to his side to see Jungkook wearing a concerned expression. He didn’t want to worry the younger boy more than he had to. He held Jungkook’s hand and smiled softly at him, hoping he’d understand the message. Jungkook didn’t smile back right away, his big doe eyes staring into him. But after a few moments that beautiful smile spread over the younger boy’s face and it gave Namjoon the courage and strength he needed.

Unfortunately he couldn’t stay much longer with Jungkook. He had a little bit of time left but decided it was best to get some essentials from his apartment. He called the police station to make sure it was alright and was told to meet Detective Choi in front of his apartment to be lead inside. Jungkook lingered at the door with him as he was putting his shoes on to leave.

“Text me later ok?” The younger boy held onto Namjoon’s coat.

“I will. You’ll be busy with stuff too?”

“Seokjin Hyung said I don’t have to work today’s shift but I’ve got classes later. I’ll be talking with Mingyu and Minghao to catch them up on everything. Yoohyeon invited herself over tonight for drinks. Today is gonna be a long day.” His boyfriend sighed.

“I can pick you up later to have dinner. Would that help?”

An adorable smile surfaced on Jungkook’s face. “Yeah.” He paused. “As long as I’m not taking up too much time from bringing stuff over to Taehyung’s?”

“Don’t worry about that.” He leaned in to kiss Jungkook sweetly before opening the door. They waved at each other and the older boy left.

The drive to his apartment felt strange. He didn’t know what to expect going inside. Would it be totally trashed? Or was his imagination a little too wild? As he drove into the parking lot he saw a familiar face near the entrance. Detective Choi was waiting for him out in the cold. Namjoon felt bad so he rushed out of his car and hoped the man didn’t wait too long. He was welcomed with a large smile.

“Good morning. Wait, is it afternoon yet?” The Detective searched his pockets for his phone.

Namjoon chuckled. “It’s not noon just yet. Did you wait long?”

“I’ve only been out here five minutes. Let’s go inside though, the windshield is awful today.”

“It wouldn’t be Seoul without the extreme windshield that turns your face into an icicle.”

“Gotta love Seoul.” The Detective said sarcastically.

Namjoon definitely noticed the stark contrast in personalities between the two Detectives. Detective Jung was very serious and professional while Detective Choi didn’t seem afraid to have a good laugh on the job. It was a nice change to the _holier than thou_ Detective stereotype. Both of them had their differences but both obviously still had the same goal of keeping bad people off the streets.

Detective Choi unlocked the apartment and let Namjoon walk inside. He was surprised to see the kitchen looking almost entirely untouched. There were a few of the cabinets left open which lead him to believe Chae Dongwoo was looking for something. There were markers and part of the living room cut off due to something shattered on the floor, it was a trophy he won for a writing competition. It didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. Stepping into his room was an entirely different situation.

His room was completely trashed. Everything he had on the walls and all his clothes were thrown to the floor. It took a moment to process the overwhelming image before him. Detective Choi patiently waited for Namjoon to get himself together. But he grew angry when he turned to see the picture of Jungkook he had on his bedside table on the floor, the glass and frame broken into pieces.

“That fucking bastard.” He said under his breath.

“Do you want me to wait outside? We went through this room and the bathroom already so don’t worry about moving stuff.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why do you guys need more time with my apartment then?”

“We’re triple checking things and we finished this room an hour and a half ago actually. We should be done tonight but I doubt you’d want to come home to this mess. You’ll have to call a company to clean this kind of stuff up usually, well for things like blood and such.”

Namjoon’s breathing haltered. “Blood?”

“We didn’t find anything like that, sorry for scaring you. We got things like fingerprints and such. But we actually needed to talk with you separately regarding something. Detective Jung and I figured you needed a couple hours to recoup a little but..” The man trailed off.

“Sir, what are you talking about?”

“Something we found in the bathroom. We can’t seem to make any sense of it so we hoped it means something to you so you could point us in the right direction.”

He furrowed his brows. “What did you find in the bathroom?”

“It’s probably better if you see it for yourself. I’ll be waiting at the door if you need me.”

The Detective bowed politely and walked towards the doorway. Namjoon didn’t understand why he was so keen on giving him space but he soon found out. His heart began to beat at a rapid rate, the anxiety of the unknown settling in. He stood in front of the door and took a deep breath before he slowly opened it. The bathroom was trashed in a rage similar to his bedroom. As he stepped inside Namjoon felt his heart break into a million tiny pieces. Inside the bathtub was shredded up paper. At first glance it wouldn’t make much sense but with a closer look he saw his mother’s handwriting. The notebooks he cherished from his mother were ripped and torn apart. Namjoon couldn’t breathe. He kneeled down and was disgusted when he smelled something foul. He cried out in anger realizing the papers were covered in urine. He couldn’t even put the papers back together even if he tried. Tears pooled out of his eyes in frustration and sadness. He had to get out.

Namjoon stumbled as he tried to stand up. His back slammed against the sink when he lost his balance. He winched in pain but ignored it as he left the bathroom as quickly as possible. He sprinted to the doorway and nearly crashed into Detective Choi. The man looked at him confused and wide eyed.

“Are- are you alright?”

Namjoon sloppily pulled on his coat and shoes as he desperately tried to form some kind of coherent sentence. “I can’t stay- I, it’s too- I need to leave _now_.”

“Can we talk about it outside?”

“I’m s-sorry, Sir. I need to leave.”

He hated how rude he must’ve sounded but he walked past the Detective and walked out of the apartment. He ran to his car and dropped his keys multiple times in an attempt to get inside. He let out an aggravated yell and finally heard the click he so desperately needed to hear. He sat down in the driver’s seat and shut the door. Namjoon looked down to see his trembling hands on the wheel. He willed his body to be still but he instead found himself gasping for air. He turned the car on and tried to focus on the tips of his fingertips against the hot air shooting out of the vents. But his lips began to feel numb and he panicked. He pulled out his phone and called the only person he knew could calm him down. The phone rang. One ring, two, three, four, five-

“Hyung? Calling me before you head off to work?” Jungkook's sweet giggle was heaven to his ears.

“J-jungkookie..” His voice was weak and he hated that the younger boy had to hear him like that.

“Hyung?” Jungkook’s cheery voice was replaced with slight horror. “Are you ok?”

Namjoon finally broke down into a fit of sobs. He heard his boyfriend’s distressed voice on the other side of the call and hated that he made Jungkook so worried. He choked repeatedly trying to speak but getting too much air in his lungs as he still tried to gasp for air in between his sobs.

“I need y-you. Here, right now. I’m s-sorry.”

“Where are you?” Jungkook’s voice was deep and serious.

“Outside. Apartment parking lot. My car.” He tried not to form full sentences in hopes he’d stop tripping over all his words.

“I’m taking a taxi over. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Ok.” He said in a whisper.

“I’m staying on the phone with you, alright?”

Namjoon focused on breathing evenly. “Ok.”

“Is there something that always calms you down?”

The older boy heard Jungkook calling for a taxi and telling the driver the address to Namjoon’s. “Um, music?”

“Did you want to turn your radio on? Would that help?”

“I don’t know.” Namjoon wiped away tears as they dripped down his chin. “Can you..”

“You want me to sing?”

“Yes.” Just hearing Jungkook’s talking voice was calming him but the younger boy’s singing voice put him somewhere else entirely. It was the kind of mind space he needed to be in and Jungkook brought him there with his silky voice.

Without skipping a beat the younger boy started to sing him a song he recognized but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. It was the perfect distraction, trying to figure out the artist and song his boyfriend was sweetly singing to him. In any other instance it’d bother him but even after Jungkook finished singing the song he found himself finally calmed down. He didn’t ask for the title of what the younger boy sang, mostly because Jungkook went straight into singing another song. Namjoon smiled as he closed his eyes and listened. The peace was interrupted when there was a knock on his car door window. His eyes shot open as he flinched at the Detective’s face leaning forward to see inside the car.

“I’m sorry to disturb you but we need to talk before I leave.” The Detective’s voice was muffled behind the glass.

“Is someone else with you?” Jungkook’s singing came to a halt.

“Yes, uh, Detective Choi.”

“I’ll be over in just a couple minutes ok?”

“You’re hanging up?” His voice sounded more desperate than he’d like.

“I’ll be there, I’m just a few blocks away. I’ll see you in a minute.” Jungkook’s voice was tender and Namjoon appreciated it more than he could ever know.

“Alright.”

Namjoon hung up and let out a heavy sigh. He flinched again when another few knocks on the window surprised him again. Namjoon wasn’t planning to talk with the Detective without Jungkook by his side. He waited with the heat still on full blast, sweating in his winter coat. He was looking towards the main street to look out for the younger boy’s arrival. Luckily he didn’t have to wait too long, seeing Jungkook in the front seat of a taxi driving into the parking lot. The taxi stopped behind his car and he watched Jungkook get out and pay. The younger boy made his way to the driver’s side of Namjoon's car and walked past the Detective after politely saying hello. Namjoon finally felt comfortable enough to get out of the car, so he shut off the engine and opened the door.

“Hyung.” Jungkook stood close and held his hand. He leaned closer to whisper. “Do you want to leave?”

Namjoon simply shook his head but tightly squeezed his boyfriend’s hand. “You said we needed to talk before you left Sir.” He finally held eye contact with the young man.

“Yes. We really need to know the significance of what was in the tub. Judging from your reaction I know it must be personal. I’m sorry it ended up that way.”

“Yeah..” Namjoon didn’t know how to talk about it with a stranger. He could see how the Detective genuinely felt bad about it, even though it was something that was completely out of his hands.

“So, what were those papers?”

He tried to hold back his tears, the image of it too fresh in his mind. Poor Jungkook still had no idea what had happened yet but he stood by him and held his hand and he was grateful.

“It was something from my late mother. Notebooks. They were the only thing I really had left of her.”

“I’m truly sorry to hear that.” The Detective frowned.

“The tallies?” Jungkook’s voice was low.

Namjoon took a deep breath. “They were all torn up in the bathtub.” He couldn’t bring himself to say what else was done to them out loud.

“That.. that fucking piece of shit.” Jungkook gritted his teeth as tears filled his eyes.

“Chae Dongwoo knew about those notebooks from your mother?” Detective Choi asked.

“I’ve never spoken to him about anything, let alone something that personal.”

“Where did you have them? Were they put out in the open?”

“No, I had them in a box labeled _Mom_ in my closet.”

“He knew nothing about your mother's notebooks yet he did something so blatant. It was to get your attention but for what reason..” The Detective thought out loud.

“I have no idea what kind of message he’s trying to give me. Other than he hates me.”

“We’ll look into it. Thank you for talking with me. Either Detective Jung or I will call you if we have any follow up questions.”

“Ok.”

Detective Choi walked away and into his car. Jungkook and Namjoon silently watched as the man drove away. Seeing that the vehicle was finally gone he leaned back against his car and closed his eyes. Tears threatened to fall again but he felt the warmth of Jungkook’s body wrap around him. He opened his eyes and looked down to see Jungkook’s face nuzzled against his chest. The younger boy never looked so small and it hurt him to hear the sound of Jungkook crying against him.

“I’m so sorry Hyung.”

Namjoon looked up to the sky hoping tears wouldn’t fall again, his eyes hurting from his previous sobbing. But it couldn’t be helped. He held onto Jungkook and they both cried in each other’s arms.

It soon became too cold to stand outside any longer. They both got into his car and welcomed the hot air as Namjoon turned the engine on. He got a notification for a text message and wished he could turn off his phone for the day. But still he pulled out his phone to see the message.

“What is it?” Jungkook tugged his beanie down further on his head, making his hair cover his eyes.

“It’s Yoongi Hyung asking me if I’ll be in soon.”

The younger boy moved his bangs out of his eyes. “You’re still going in?”

“I have to, it’s my job.” Namjoon shrugged.

“I can’t believe your boss is still making you come in..”

“I’m working on so many projects they can’t really afford to have another day without me. And honestly it’ll be a much needed distraction.”

“Text or call me if you need me though.”

“I will. What about you? Did I pull you out of your talk with Mingyu and Minghao?”

“I was just about to meet them but they are still working at the club room anyway.”

“I’ll drop you off.”

“Thank you.”

Namjoon was caught off guard as Jungkook leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. The younger boy smiled fondly at him as he pulled away. He couldn’t contain the grin on his face and drove out of the parking lot. The drive was quiet but peaceful. He wished he could bring Jungkook into work with him, not yet wanting to part ways. But it wasn’t long before he was in front of the college entrance and both of them sat completely still for a few moments.

“Did you still want to do dinner tonight? Or we could eat in instead?”

“If there is a possibility of me having to stay late in the studio would you mind coming over there to eat with me?” Namjoon knew that his boss could very well spring that on him so he figured he’d might as well prepare himself.

“That would be fun. Let me know our plans later then.” Jungkook smiled.

“Ok. You better leave before I take you to work right now instead.” He chuckled.

“That doesn’t sound like a bad thing. I like seeing you work.”

“Jungkookie, seriously.”

The younger boy laughed. “I’m leaving!”

Namjoon waved every time Jungkook turned around to see him as he walked inside. He waited until he couldn’t see the younger boy anymore before driving off. Once he was finally back on the road he tired to prepare himself for the talk with Yoongi. His friend still didn’t know anything and the thought of going over details again was becoming overwhelming.

When Namjoon arrived at the company he felt odd. He walked the halls and it felt like all eyes were on him. He greeted other staff like usual but the responses felt fake. He thought it was all in his head until he spotted the asshole producer leaving one of the studios. He greeted him like he did every morning, even though he wished he didn’t have to. He would always get a grunt in return but this time was different.

“Move it, homo.”

“ _Excuse me_?” Namjoon scowled.

The asshole producer turned to him and laughed. “You heard me.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Me? I’m not the freak here.”

“Where are you even getting that information?”

“You haven’t seen the article? From the one gossip website?” The older man smirked.

“What article?” Namjoon’s voice became more aggregated.

“Ask the interns. It was one of them that found it.” The producer pointed at Namjoon as he grimaced. “I knew there was a reason I didn’t like you. It all makes sense now.”

“I knew I didn’t like you either. It makes sense, you being a homophobic piece of shit and all.”

Namjoon stormed off before the older man could possibly get his hands on him. He had no idea how that asshole producer acted when mad so fleeing the area seemed like the smartest thing. He headed to the lounge in hopes of finding the interns. It was around lunch time anyway so the kids should be huddled on one of the couches on their phones. He ignored stares as he walked through the halls again, making his way to the lounge. He was surprised to see more people than usual when he arrived. Even more surprising, he heard Yoongi’s voice shouting in the back of the room.

“You _seriously_ thought you were helping?” His friend’s voice was full of rage.

A young girl looked close to tears. “I thought it’d be good to let everyone know what had happened so we could help.”

“Help _how_?!”

“I don’t know!”

“You just wanted to gossip. It’s fun when it’s not your life, right?”

The entire room was an audience to the argument. He knew his friend meant well and only wanted to set things right but he hated being the center of attention. He pushed past the people crowded around Yoongi and the girl. People finally started to realize Namjoon was in the room, some moving away disgusted, others looking guilty.

“You can’t just yell at her, Hyung.”

Yoongi spun around with wide eyes. “Namjoon. You’re here.”

“Yes, I’m here. Let’s go.”

“But-”

“We’re leaving.” He turned on his heel and knew Yoongi would follow, knowing how much Namjoon hated drama.

He walked with large strides and he heard Yoongi behind him complaining that he needed to slow down because he wasn’t gifted with long legs. Namjoon was thankful when he finally reached their shared studio. He threw himself on the couch and heard the door close behind him.

“You ok?” Yoongi asked in a low voice after a couple silent minutes.

“I’m.. dealing.”

“TaeTae texted me a little while ago. He filled me in on everything.”

“Oh? He did?” He sat up and was glad he didn’t have to get into all the explanations again.

“Yeah. And that you’ll be staying at the old apartment.” His friend leaned against the door. “I can’t believe you actually agreed to that. With everything that’s happening do you think you can handle it?”

Namjoon sighed. “I can rent a hotel room if I need to. It’ll be fine.”

Yoongi walked over and sat in the wheeled chair beside him. “I’m so pissed. Why can’t everyone just leave you alone?”

“I’m honestly confused right now. How is there even an article out yet? Could you pull it up?”

“You really want to see it?”

“Yeah.”

Yoongi took out his phone and went into his history. A page loaded and his friend handed him the phone. He looked at the time stamp and was even more confused.

“This was posted an hour ago. I only left the station a few hours ago and I didn’t even give out any statements to the press. How is this even possible?”

“Is there any way it got leaked out?”

“That’d mean someone at the station would’ve done it. But that still only gave whomever a couple hours to write, edit and publish an article. It makes no sense.” Namjoon scrolled down to see exactly what was written.

 

**Up And Coming Producer Gets Targeted By Gang Member Because Of Sexuality**

 

_RM (Kim Namjoon, age 23) has recently become a target by the biggest gang in Seoul. Kim had just joined the music company BigStar Entertainment this past November and was receiving great feedback for his work on the debut of new idol boy group, Crowz. But behind the scenes was a surprising amount of trouble. It was reported that his boyfriend was attacked by Chae Dongwoo (age 26), a former underground rapper (now gang member) and sent to the hospital with a head injury back in the end of October. It didn’t end there and late on Christmas evening Kim’s apartment was broken into. Chae Dongwoo was taken into custody and there was a video of the arrest that went viral this morning on Twitter._

**Read More…**

 

Namjoon stopped there. He was grateful Jungkook’s name wasn’t mentioned but he didn’t understand why he had an article about him. There was a lot more going on in the city than his apartment being broken into. And he didn’t think he was _“Up And Coming_ ” like the writer seemed to. He just wanted to make good music, he didn’t want the fame. That was why him and Yoongi worked so well together, they both simply wanted to make a living out of making music. He handed the phone back as Yoongi looked over him with an uneasy expression. 

“I guess it could’ve been worse.” He sighed.

“You read the whole thing?”  

“What? I miss something?”

“At the end it said that our company could very well fire you for having this scandal connected to them.”

“Because I’m bi?” Namjoon laughed. “ _Great_. My life is fucked.”

“That doesn’t mean they will. And I refuse to stay here if that happens I hope you know.”

“If they _do_ fire me, don’t do something so stupid as leaving with me. I won’t forgive you for that.”

Yoongi frowned. “But we’re a team.”

“Yeah but there is no sense in both of us being jobless.”

“Let’s not talk about that. You’ll be fine, you won’t get fired. Next topic.”

Namjoon didn’t want to bring up the torn notebooks, not being in the mood to cry again. Luckily Yoongi pulled up the track he submitted before Christmas and it sounded great. It was one in the afternoon but instead of eating a lunch he decided to dive into his work. It was a lot more peaceful strangely enough, the asshole producer leaving him alone for the time being. He wasn’t keeping track of the time but both Yoongi and Namjoon were startled by a sudden knock on the door. They stared blankly at each other for a moment but Yoongi spoke up first.

“Come in.”

The door slowly opened and a girl walked in timidly. It was the girl Yoongi was shouting at in the lounge. She glanced at Namjoon and immediately looked back down to the floor. She took a few steps forward and bowed.

She kept her head down as she spoke. “I talked with my supervisor and I came here to apologize.”

“You can lift your head.” The girl stood up straight but he noticed she couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Were you truly trying to help?”

“Yeah.” She fidgeted nervously with her hair. “I was telling people to be extra mindful because of your situation but unfortunately everyone only saw the thing about your sexuality. I never wanted it to be like this.”

“I can see where you’re coming from. Unfortunately not everyone is that nice. Thank you for trying though.” He smiled hoping it’d ease up the mood of the room. It worked and the girl smiled back.

“I need to get back to work. Again, I’m sorry I’ve caused you trouble.”

“It’s alright. Work hard.”

The girl bowed again before she left. Yoongi had his arms crossed as he laughed in his chair. “I’m pretty sure she has a crush on you.”

“Well, if she does, she’s handling it well. Girls usually don’t like finding out a guy they have a crush on likes guys.”

“She gets a golden sticker for being a decent human being!” Yoongi said sarcastically and gave him the thumbs up.

“Come on, Hyung.” He rolled his eyes.

Namjoon looked at the clock and was surprised to see it nearing five in the evening. Neither of them had received news of having to stay late so he wondered if he could actually enjoy a simple meal out with Jungkook like he wanted to. The work day still felt off, none of the other producers coming in to check on beats or lyrics. They continued on with their work and once it was getting closer to seven he sent off a text to Jungkook.

 

**Me**

sent: 6:47pm

_Hey looks like I’ll be done soon so we can eat out tonight. What are you in the mood for?_

 

**Jungkookie❤**

sent: 6:48pm

_Something healthy? I’m probably gonna be drinking a lot with Yoohyeon tonight.. Unless you want stay over here tonight? Jimin seriously won’t mind._

 

**Me**

sent: 6:49pm

_Ok something healthy. No it’s fine. And I already promised Tae. It’d probably be good for us to hang out and talk tonight._

 

**Jungkookie❤**

sent: 6:51pm

_If you say so :( I still want lots of Hyung time so expect lots of talking alright?_

 

**Me**

sent: 6:52pm

_Fine by me ❤ I’ll pick you up soon._

 

Both Yoongi and Namjoon started closing things up and saving everything they worked on. After closing up the studio they were soon met with the asshole producer hanging outside the door. Namjoon grimaced at the sight and wanted nothing more than to leave and see Jungkook. The man lingered and it grew uncomfortable due to the awkward silence.

“Uh, _hello_?” Yoongi grew impatient.

“The CEO isn’t happy.”

Namjoon stilled. “What do you mean..” He nervously glanced at Yoongi and his friend bit his lips anxiously.

“Turns out our CEO’s sister company in Japan is run by a gay man. He doesn’t like discrimination against your kind of people. There was an emergency meeting today and all the staff was reprimanded. The CEO is waiting upstairs for you.“

The producer immediately left, seemingly only being there to be a messenger. He looked over to Yoongi and smiled. “I forgot to mention that he called me a homo earlier.”

“He ran away like a coward now that he got in trouble though.” Yoongi laughed.

“That’s a homophobe for ya.”

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow? Have fun meeting the big boss.”

His friend waved goodbye and left the building. Namjoon made his way to the elevators and once inside was hesitant pushing the button for the top floor. Ultimately he pressed the button and watched the numbers change as he passed each floor. He was nervous. He obviously wasn’t in trouble but he never spoke with the CEO one-on-one before. The older man was never the stuck up type, most of the time seen smiling. But meeting the man in charge of the company you work at will never be nerve-racking.

He arrived on the first floor and the elevator doors opened. There was a big desk with a woman behind it on the phone. She smiled and pointed to the large double doors. He looked at the time and saw it was fifteen minutes past the hour. Namjoon hoped this wouldn’t take long, the last he wanted was for Jungkook to be waiting too long for him. He opened one of the heavy doors and an enormous room was before him. The CEO stood up from his equally gigantic desk and greeted Namjoon.

“Please, take a seat.” The older man smiled as he gestured to a large white plush chair.

“Oh, thank you.” He bowed before he sat down. The seat sucked him in and he was worried if he got too comfortable he’d never get up.

The CEO sat back down in his upholstered leather armchair. “I’m sorry about all the gossiping that happened. You probably realized you weren’t visited by other producers and writers today.”

“Ah, uh, yes I had noticed.”

“I figured you needed some space. I hope that helped a little.”

“Thank you, Sir. It did.”

“I’m glad. I just wanted to see how you were before you left. And if anyone said anything inappropriate to you please feel free to tell me.”

Namjoon looked at the older man and didn’t feel like bringing up the asshole producer so he just smiled and shook his head. “Nothing like that, Sir. But,” He paused. “I’m surprised at this response to be honest. I was even worried I might be fired..”

“Oh goodness. We recently got to hire you because your writing ability was something we needed. That’d be a bad move regardless of the situation. And my friend Makoto that runs our sister company in Japan would be very disappointed in me.”

“He’s your friend?” Namjoon asked surprised.

The older man let out a happy laugh. “For a long time. He lived in Korea for ten years but moved back a few years ago.”

“I guess I’m so used to close minded people I really wasn’t expecting someone like you be so open minded.”

“Oh, I didn’t use to be. I was pretty awful back in my twenties and thirties. I became friends Makoto in my forties and I’m grateful he taught me many things, both about work and about life. This country treats people in your community like second rate humans. The least I can do is treat you how everyone deserves to be treated.”

“Thank you.. I really needed that today.”

“No problem at all. I don’t want to take up all of your evening, have a good rest of your night.”

“Oh, thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sir.” He bowed and left the room feeling a lot lighter.

Namjoon sent a text to Jungkook saying he was on his way and the younger boy sent him a bunch of kissy face emojis. Within the next ten minutes he was in front of Jungkook’s apartment and he was upset to see his boyfriend waiting outside the building. He quickly parked his car and got out.

“Jungkookie! Why are you waiting in the cold?” He shouted across the parking lot.

“Because I missed you!” The younger boy shouted back.

Namjoon blushed as he tried to yell something back but the cute yet smug look on his boyfriend’s face continued to keep him flustered. Once he got closer Jungkook seemed fed up with waiting and ran to close the distance between them, jumping into his arms for a welcoming embrace. Namjoon held the younger boy tight as he swayed with him on the sidewalk, calming him to his core. He closed his eyes and thought if it wasn’t for the cold he could very well fall asleep in Jungkook’s arms right in that moment. They stayed like that for more than they should’ve, the tip of Namjoon’s nose reddened due to the harsh winds. But his hot breath fogged up his glasses and Jungkook giggled when he stepped back. The younger boy took the edge of his sleeve and used it to wipe away the condensation.

“Better?”

“I’ve got fuzz all over my lenses now but yeah.”

Jungkook pouted and leaned forward and pulled Namjoon’s head down, breathing hot air on the lenses making them foggy once again. “There.”

“Wow. So much better!” He laughed but pulled his glasses off to clean them properly.

They both got in the car and sat with the heater on them for a couple minutes. After Namjoon could feel his nose again he drove away. Neither of them knew exactly where they wanted to eat. He drove around a little for some inspiration and soon saw a vegetarian korean restaurant. Jungkook had never eaten anything exclusively vegetarian because he loved meats and poultry too much but he agreed to try.

The restaurant was a lot more quiet than either of them expected. A lot more young people filled the tables but quite a few where foreigners. He looked over to Jungkook who’s eyes bugged out at all the foreigners. Namjoon smiled as he nudged the boy’s shoulder.

“Jungkookie, it’s not like they’re going to come up to you and demand you to speak English.”

“I know!” Jungkook said embarrassed. “I just suck so much at it I’m afraid I’ll say something stupid if anyone says hi.”

“You’ll be fine.” He laughed.

“Ok Mr. _I’m fluent in twenty languages_.”

“When did two turn into twenty?” He raised an eyebrow.

“But you _could_ know twenty.”

They ordered their food and Jungkook continued to talk about Namjoon’s high IQ and how he could probably build an airplane if he really wanted to. The conversation only got crazier as they waited for their food and Namjoon blamed it all on Jungkook’s hunger. The food they ordered was brought out to them ten minutes later. They ordered a lot of korean classics but neither had tried vegetarian alternatives. Watching Jungkook lose his mind over every bite was the funniest thing Namjoon had ever seen. It was mind boggling to him as well, a plant being able to taste just like beef. A couple that was sitting next to them found Jungkook’s reactions funny as well. A young black man smiled as he leaned forward and spoke in an Australian accent.

“Your first time trying vegetarian food?”

Jungkook gulped down his food and tried to respond. “Uh, yes.” He said in English.

“I had the same reaction when my girlfriend first had me try it.” The handsome man laughed.

“I think I’ll have to bring him here again to see that reaction again.” Namjoon said with a grin.

“You think just like my girlfriend.” He pointed to the girl sitting across from him and everyone laughed, including the nervous Jungkook.

They comfortably chatted with the couple beside them until they finished their food. They parted ways and walked back to the car being weighted down by all the food. Jungkook let out a low groan getting inside the car, placing a hand over his stomach once he was seated.

“I ate too much.”

“It was good though.”

“Absolutely but I still ate too much.” Jungkook sighed.

“You did well talking in there. I was impressed.”

“Ugh no. I’m so embarrassed, I stumbled over my words so many times.”

“Even I do that. That’s just part of getting used to talking in another language.”

“But because of that we really didn’t get to talk about how our days went.”

“Well, how was your day?”

“It was alright. I think I’m just exhausted from classes and talking with Mingyu and Minghao so long. I was almost late to class because we lost track of the time.” The younger boy paused. “What about you? Did working help?”

“Ah, hm. Work was interesting. There was an article written about me and people were gossiping about me being gay.”

“What?!” Jungkook turned his entire body towards him. “And I’m just hearing this now? And what do you mean article?”

“I wanted to sit in my work and not dwell on all that drama but it’s ok now. Apparently my CEO hates homophobes and everyone got in trouble for gossiping. And honestly, I have no idea how there was an article posted only after a couple hours of our visit to the station.”

“So you’re ok? Nobody said anything to your face?”

“Nobody except for our favorite asshole producer. But don’t worry about it. It’s been settled.”

Jungkook nodded and leaned back in his seat. “Was the article on a big website because I probably would’ve gotten a text if Hoseok Hyung saw a link on Twitter.”

“It must not be? I had never heard of it before.”

“Maybe some crazy journalist bribed an officer for information. People in that profession will do anything for a story.”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that..”

“Was it bad? Like, they didn’t say awful things about you right?”

“It was pretty much fact based. I just wished my life wasn’t boiled down to a clickbait-y article title.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with that..”

“Honestly I’m looking forward to going back and taking a shower and heading to bed early.”

“I’m tempted to do the same but I know Yoohyeon is probably already waiting at the apartment with Jimin.”

“I’ll sleep for the both of us.” He smiled.

“Yeah because I won’t get to bed until two in the morning if Yoohyeon has anything to do with it.”

Namjoon wished he could spend the entire night with Jungkook but he figured they’d be up until dawn talking and he knew he couldn’t handle the next day on minimal sleep. The drive to Jungkook’s apartment was quiet. Namjoon knew the younger boy was worried about him but it was the kind of situation where nobody could really do anything to help. Once in front of the apartment complex Jungkook slowly got out of the vehicle but lingered with the door open.

“Goodnight..”

“Jungkookie, come back in here for a second.”

His boyfriend looked at him with a confused expression but climbed back inside. “Something wrong?”

“Yeah, I can’t kiss you goodbye when you’re standing out there.”

He placed a hand on Jungkook’s cheek and he watched the skin underneath his fingers become flushed. He leaned in and softly kissed him, Jungkook laying a hand on his thigh. He could kiss him for hours and even though he wanted to slip his tongue into the younger boy’s mouth to hear a cute whimper he knew better than to tease him like that. Especially since the both of them needed sleep more than a hot and heavy make out session (unfortunately).

“Thank you for worrying about me.” He said as he pulled away from the kiss.

“I’m still worried.” Jungkook frowned. “I don’t want you overexerting yourself emotionally _or_ physically, ok? And contact me whenever you need me.”

“Ok.” He smiled and kissed Jungkook once again. “You better leave before I keep kissing you.”

“But I _want_ you to keep kissing me..” The younger boy whined.

“Let’s plan a date on my next day off and I’ll kiss you all you want. Deal?”

Jungkook excitedly nodded with a big adorable smile. “Deal.”

“One last kiss? It’ll seal the deal.” He winked.

“The only logical way, of course.”

Jungkook leaned forward to kiss him and surprised him by bitting his bottom lip before leaving. He swore under his breath at the attack but nonetheless waved at his boyfriend as he drove away.

Namjoon caught himself a few times thinking he was driving back to his own apartment and had to redirect himself to head out to the old apartment. He hadn’t received any texts or calls from Taehyung but expected to be greeted with a wide boxy grin when he arrived. Taehyung had given him his key to the apartment when they met at Seokjin’s earlier that day, his younger brother having another spare key in his car. Just as he parked he got a new text message.  

 

**Tae**

sent: 9:28pm

_I had to travel a few hours out today for a shoot. We’re all stuck in traffic so I’ll be home in an hour! My dad shouldn’t be back until really late so don’t worry about seeing him at the apartment. See you soon!!!!!_

 

Namjoon decided to take this opportunity as having a bit of alone time. He sent a reply to his little brother and made his way to the empty apartment. It was eerie walking through the front door and being surrounded by silence. The feeling sadly reminded him of how he felt growing up, having a home but it feeling empty. He didn’t want to think about the past but it was inevitable going back into a space he never felt welcome in. Everything looked the same. He turned on the lights and expected things to look different but nothing had changed. He hadn’t been gone as long as it felt. His life had changed a lot since he left this building. But walking through the hallway and seeing each room unchanged made something inside him feel like perhaps nothing really changed for him either.

His old bedroom was now a storage room. Boxes lined one wall and suitcases and items Taehyung got from work filled the room. His bed still remained which was a surprise. He half expected to be sleeping on the floor. But getting rid of a bed is a lot of work when living in the city, especially if you don't have an apartment on ground level.

Namjoon wanted to take a shower but never got to bring anything from his apartment. Luckily he had kept his laptop at the company studio and decided to leave it there but other than that he didn’t have any other of his possessions on him. He figured Taehyung wouldn’t mind so he borrowed some lounge clothes and got into the shower. He stood under the water until his fingertips became wrinkly. After drying his hair and putting Taehyung’s clothes on he went back to his old room to get ready for bed. He placed his phone beside the bed and would charge it during the night. He layed on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. The longer he stared the more his sleepiness faded. Frustrated he sat up and checked the time. It was half past ten. He sighed and decided he’d wait up for Taehyung since he should be arriving any time now. Just as he was getting up to sit in the living room to wait he heard the front door open. He bolted to welcome Taehyung and turned the corner with a smile. But it wasn’t Taehyung who came home.

The man Namjoon used to call father was in a dark blue suit carrying a plastic bag from a convenience store. The smile he had now fell from his face as he looked at the older man’s unreadable expression. Namjoon was expecting to be yelled at or perhaps given a deadly glare but it was more of a blank look or an indifference he saw instead.

“Ah, is Taehyung home yet?”

“Not yet but he should be soon.”

Taehyung’s father nodded and slid off his black Oxfords. “I got him some chocolates. He loves eating a lot of chocolate after a long shoot.” The man smiled and Namjoon was sure this wasn’t the same man he grew up with.

“Yeah.. that and his soda.”

“Luckily I already have some in the fridge.”

The man walked over to Namjoon and he expected the act to finally stop and to be met with the man who hated him so much. But he only smiled again as he made his way to the kitchen. He quickly came back and looked Namjoon up and down before speaking.

“So, you’re in trouble again”

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I asked for it. I’m not walking around with a sign that reads, _Please Give Me Trouble_.”

The man nodded. “I figured something happened when I saw you yesterday and then later having an officer coming to my door saying not to be alarmed by all the police cars.” Taehyung’s father crossed his arms. “Is it really bad?”

“Why? You want to patronize me?”

“No it’s just Taehyung is worried about you. He really looks up to you.”

“He does?”

“Yes. He talks about you during dinner and fills me in on all your accomplishments.” The man scratched his head. “Without realizing it, I suppose Taehyung has let me see how hard working you’ve become. Mom would be proud.”

“What? What the fuck is this? Why are you being nice to me? And don’t you dare bring up Mom.” He scowled.

“I know I have no right but I just wanted to tell you I’m glad you’re doing well.”

“No thanks to you! Are you fucking serious right now? What happened to the guy who hated my guts? The guy who thought that Mom would’ve been happier if I wasn’t alive? Where the fuck is _he_?” Namjoon began to feel his eyes water and he wanted to scream at the fact that he was still so wounded by the man standing in front of him.

“I’m sorry. I’m ashamed. I didn’t even know how to react to seeing you the other day. I don’t want to overstep.”

“Sorry? For treating me like the scum of the earth? For wanting me to not have a roof over my head and forcing me to live out on the streets? For brainwashing Taehyung into hating me? Sorry for what exactly?” Tears streamed down his face as yelled in frustration.

“I’m sorry for everything. I know this may sound stupid but recently I had a very vivid dream and your Mom visited me. She told me how much I’m missing out on, being a father to you. And how disappointed she was with me. She told me to make it right. And you being here is like a sign isn’t it?”

“You're delusional.” Namjoon laughed.

“Maybe so but I want to make amends.”

“This isn’t- this isn’t fair.” He choked back a sob. “Not with everything that happened today. This isn’t fucking fair.”

“What happened today?”

“Why should I tell you?” He shouted. “Like you’d even care about the notebooks me and Mom shared.”

“The _I Love You_ notebooks?”

“How do you know about those..“

“You’re Mom showed them off to me. She was very proud of them.” The older man paused. “Did something happen to them?”

Namjoon bit his bottom lip in hopes that the tears would stop. “They…they were torn apart and ruined.” He placed a hand over his trembling lips. "They were the only thing I had left of her. And it’s gone.”

Taehyung’s father didn’t respond. He only frowned as Namjoon tried to pull himself together. Seeing the older man in front of him only made it hurt worse. Even though he didn’t speak a word now it still felt like he was mocking him. After a minute the man silently walked away and Namjoon was left in the living room. _Now that’s the asshole I remember_ , he thought. But after a few minutes the older man came back and seemed to be holding something.

“I hope.. this could help you. She would’ve wanted you to have it.”

Taehyung’s father took a hesitate step towards Namjoon and slowly handed him something resembling a piece of paper. He took it in his hands and he saw his mother’s handwriting.

 

_My beautiful Namjoonie and I. I love you x 100000000! I win the most I love yous!_

 

“Turn it over.”

Namjoon did and it wasn’t just a note but a picture of him and his mother, playing in the sand at the beach when he was in middle school. Namjoon couldn't hold it back anymore and let go of the emotions he tried so hard to bottle up. He cried so hard he could barely breathe. He tightly held the picture to his chest and let himself fall to the floor. His head hurt, his heart hurt and pain came from every single direction. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up and saw the blurry figure of Taehyung’s father. The man leaned down and hugged him. He wanted to push him away but he let the man he used to call father hold him as he sat curled up on the floor as he sobbed.


	35. That Went Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sudden sleepover and a sincere gift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm back!!! I hope this chapter makes up for the wait! 
> 
> Love you all and enjoy ❤

“Kookie?”

Jungkook hadn’t realized he was spacing out. He looked over to Yoohyeon and Jimin who were both nursing a beer. “Huh?”

Yoohyeon set her beer down on the coffee table. “You alright?”

Jimin rolled his eyes. “Of course he’s not alright. He’s been through hell and back.”

“No, I know that but..” She paused. “It seems like you’re worried about something? Something else?”

Jungkook gulped. “Like what..”

“I don’t know. If you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine but we’re here for you.”

He looked at his friends and sighed. Jimin eyed him as Yoohyeon went back to sipping on her beer. Jungkook obviously hadn’t told anyone about the notebooks at Namjoon’s apartment. Nobody knew about Namjoon’s mother and it wasn’t his place to tell his friends about the notebooks, even if he left out the rest of the older boy’s past. But he figured he could still somehow get around it.

“I’m worried about Namjoon Hyung.”

“What happened?” Jimin scooted closer to him.

“I can’t tell you all the details but it’s been a really hard day for him. He called me and I had to calm him down.”

“Is he ok now?” Yoohyeon frowned.

“I think so? When he dropped me off he seemed to be in a good mood.“

“It’s good that he reached out to you when he needed you. That shows how much he trusts you.” Jimin placed a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder.

The younger boy nodded. “I didn’t really feel like I did anything to help though. I felt pretty helpless.”

“Sometimes the best way to help someone is just being there with them. You did good, Kookie.”

Jungkook quietly nodded as he downed the rest of his drink. He looked over to the coffee table and saw the mess of empty cans and snack wrappers. So much had already accumulated over the hour and Jungkook decided to get a head start on the cleaning, not wanting to get overwhelmed by the size it’d probably grow into later. He began to pick up some of the trash and headed to the kitchen in search of a garbage bag. When he found the garbage bags he was surprised when his phone began to ring. He set all the trash temporarily on the floor to see who the caller was. He wasn’t expecting it to be Namjoon.

Jungkook picked up the call. “Hello? Hyung?”

“I couldn’t stay there.” Namjoon’s voice was low.

“Where are you?” Jungkook tried not to sound panicked.

“I was going to go to a hotel but my stupid ass somehow ended up outside your apartment.” The older boy sighed over the call. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for? Come on up, alright? You can stay with me tonight. And not on the couch, I mean in my bed with me, ok?”

“Ok.” The older boy agreed easily.

Namjoon hung up and Jungkook frantically tried to clean things up. He shoved everything into the trash bag and set it back in the kitchen, telling his friends it was there for them when they were done. Jimin immediately picked up on Jungkook’s fussing and raised an eyebrow.

“Who called? We heard your phone go off.”

“It was Namjoon Hyung. He’ll be staying here tonight after all. It’s still ok with you right?”

“Oh I don’t mind at all. But should we end this little get-together now? I don’t imagine he wants to join.”

“I’ll be in my room with him but it’s up to the both of you. Yoohyeon is staying over anyway so you two can keep drinking if you want.”

“Let’s watch a movie Jimin!” Yoohyeon announced drunkenly.

“Here. Pick something off Netflix.” Jimin turned to Jungkook. “Looks like it’s movie night now. We’ll try to stay quiet.”

“Thank you.” He leaned in for a quick hug.

Shortly the doorbell rang and he scurried to answer the door. He wasn’t expecting to see Namjoon looking so drained and exhausted. The older boy stumbled in immediately and hugged Jungkook.

“Let’s take your shoes off and head to my room ok?” He hugged his boyfriend back.

He looked up to see Namjoon nod as he stepped away to pull off his shoes. He dragged his boyfriend along and into his room, no hellos exchanged between his friends and Namjoon from the rush. Jungkook didn’t think it’d help and he didn’t want Namjoon to feel pressured to explain himself. He closed the door behind them and watched as Namjoon sat down on the bed still wearing his thick coat. The older boy’s eyes looked dull and it scared him.

“I can take your coat if you want.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Namjoon slipped the coat off and handed it to the younger boy. “I’m sorry I’m being weird.”

Jungkook frowned at his boyfriend. “What? No. It’s ok.” He opened his closet and hung the coat on a sturdy wooden hanger.

“I know I’m being weird, Jungkookie. This is just..” He sighed. “I’ve never had someone to go to like this before. Only Yoongi but I still wouldn’t go to him all the time because I felt like it’d be suffocating for him.”

“I’m glad you came to me again.” He sat on the bed beside Namjoon and placed a hand on top of his arm.

“Me too.” The older boy moved his hand to lace their fingers together. “I made some bad decisions in the past to cope before so it’s nice to be here with you instead.”

“Like what? If you don’t mind me asking..”

“Oh, well, things like going to bars and drinking and sleeping with strangers. It got very lonely after awhile. And all my past relationships never lasted long so it made me feel even more alone. I honestly thought that was my fate, to always be alone.” He looked up and softly smiled at Jungkook. “Not anymore though.”

“I thought the same for myself too. But yeah, not anymore.” He smiled back at Namjoon and tightly squeezed his hand.

The older boy turned and blankly stared at the wall in front of them. “I saw Tae’s father. He arrived earlier then Tae thought he would.”

“Did you.. get into an argument?”

“Yes but-” Namjoon lowered his head. “It wasn’t what I was expecting. He wasn’t cruel. It felt like I was talking with a totally different person. He said he wanted to make amends and I just- I don’t understand it.” The older boy tried to secretly wipe away a stray tear but Jungkook saw it anyway. “And for some reason I told him about the notebooks and he gave me this.”

The older boy leaned to the side to pull something out of his back pocket and handed it to him. It was a picture. A young Namjoon at the beach sat in the sand with a woman wearing a beautiful smile, a very familiar looking one. He couldn’t hold the tears in and he quickly wiped at his face. “That’s your mother.”

“Yeah.”

“You have her smile.” He turned the picture over and saw the note on the back. More tears threatened to fall. “So this is why he gave this to you.”

“And why I couldn’t stay. It was too much.”

“It must have been.. overwhelming.”

“I’m still trying to process everything to be honest. My mind is in a mess and I don’t know what to do or even how to feel.”

“You don’t have to decide all that at once. Take your time.”

“I feel bad for saying I’d stay but backing out on Tae. He came home when I was getting ready to leave. His face looked hurt. And I couldn’t even tell him why I was leaving, I just apologized and bolted.” Namjoon frowned deeply.

“Tae loves you so he’ll understand when you tell him. Right now you should be a little selfish and think of yourself.”

“I _am_ being selfish! I left didn’t I?”

“Hyung. I’m talking about a different kind of selfish. Like, thinking of your well-being over his at the moment. Jimin Hyung tells me to do that sometimes because it’s not healthy to put myself on the back burner because I’m worried about everyone else all the time. You should do the same.”

Namjoon sighed as his back fell onto the mattress. He still gripped Jungkook’s hand. “Jimin knows best, huh?” He smiled.

“Don’t tell him I admitted it but yes, he does know best.” He giggled.

Namjoon’s smile looked real and Jungkook couldn’t have been more relieved to see it. He gently layed down on the bed as well and cuddled next to the older boy. Namjoon turned his head and nuzzled against his ear, the action tickling him and making him squirm. The older boy chuckled out and kissed his ear apologizing for the attack. Jungkook silently accepted the apology by wrapping an arm around his boyfriend and kissing his cheek. They layed like that for awhile before Namjoon broke the silence.

“I want to see those drawings, the embarrassing ones you talked about.” The older boy grined as he looked at Jungkook.

“Really?” He blushed.

“Yup.”

“As you wish.” He sighed as he sat up. “I can’t believe I even told you about them..” Jungkook whined.

“It won’t be too bad. I’ll probably just compliment you on your drawing skills.”

“No, it’s different because they are drawings of _you_. It’s alright though, I’ll just die of embarrassment.” He shrugged as he opened up his bottom drawer where he put the sketchbook inside.

“You’re so dramatic.” Namjoon laughed.

“Maybe so but,” He turned around with the book in his hand. “You’ll see.” He threw the sketchbook to his boyfriend still on the bed, deciding to keep the distance between them for safety.

Namjoon tried to catch it but missed and it landed on the bed instead. “Let’s take a look.” He leaned over and grabbed the book, opening it as quickly as possible. “Oh. These are cool.” The older boy looked up and smiled at him. “Is this a character from a manga?” He turned the book around for Jungkook to see.

“Yeah, I was really into it during my first year of high school.”

Namjoon flipped through a couple pages. “I recognized this building, it’s Grandma Lee’s.”

“I actually drew that from memory.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

“Wow.. that’s impressive.”

“Um, thanks.” His cheeks began to become pink.

The older boy flipped through a few more pages and he knew Namjoon finally made it to the drawings because of the silence. The room stayed quiet as the older boy looked at the remaining pages with an unreadable concentration. Jungkook grew anxious at his boyfriend’s silence.

“Can you say something before I explode.” He pulled up the hood on his hoodie and tied the pull string so only a small circle of his face was visible.

Namjoon looked up to Jungkook and chuckled at the image. “Sorry I was honestly a bit speechless.”

“Is that.. a good thing? You don’t find it creepy or anything?”

“Yeah, I’d say it’s a good thing. It’s not creepy Jungkookie. It’s pretty normal to draw a crush isn’t it?”

“Maybe but I did go the extra mile and dedicated almost an entire sketchbook to you.” Jungkook blushed as he averted his eyes.

“Well, you’ve never half-assed anything right?” The older boy smiled.

“It’s both a blessing and a curse.” Jungkook sighed.

“It feels weird to call a drawing of me beautiful but, these really are beautiful.” Namjoon flipped to the next page and a grin surfaced. “Ah, now this.” He turned the book to face the younger boy. It was a drawing of Namjoon sucking on a lollipop. “The rest seemed innocent but I’m not sure about this one. You really took care of making the details around my lips on the candy here.” He raised an eyebrow.

Jungkook covered his face in horror. “Is it that transparent?”

“Yeah. So me sucking on a lollipop made you horny huh?”

“Can you blame me? You don’t know the power of your lips.” He whimpered.

“No, I know. I fully realized after sucking you off.” Namjoon smirked.

Jungkook tried to tie the strings tighter on his hood so his face would be completely hidden. “You’re insufferable.”

“Perhaps not as powerful as your lips though.”

“Hyung, please.” He whined out.

Namjoon laughed but the room became quiet again. Jungkook peeked and saw the look of concentration in the older boy’s eyes again. He was on the last page of the sketchbook.

“This one is more recent.” Namjoon said with his eyes glued to the page.

“Ah, uh. Yeah. It was empty for a long time so I figured I should finish it.”

“It somehow looks different from the rest.” The older boy said puzzled.

“Maybe because the old ones were drawn from a distance, I didn’t know you like I do now.”

Namjoon nodded as he stared at the drawing. “I think I see that difference.” He looked up to Jungkook who’s face was still hidden in his hood. “I can feel your feelings for me in this. I.. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I think I know what you mean.” He pulled the strings to allow himself to see Namjoon. The older boy looked at him tenderly and his heart swelled.

“Come here.” Namjoon patted the mattress.

Jungkook immediately hopped on the bed and took his hood off. The older boy enveloped him in a sudden hug, the sketchbook pressed in between them. They held each other tight and they stayed like that until Jungkook finally began to feel sleepy. He offered Namjoon some clothes to sleep in and after his boyfriend changed into one of his hoodies and sweatpants they crawled into bed. Jungkook was the little spoon, the older boy’s arms wrapped around him softly. One of Namjoon’s hands rested on his hip as the other caressed his hair.

“ _Mm_ that feels nice.” He mumbled.

“I’m glad.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one doing this to you?” Jungkook yawned.

“Letting me do this is good enough. I like doting on you, it kinda calms me down seeing you so relaxed.”

“Ok.” He nuzzled into his pillow. “But let me hold your hand.” He pulled Namjoon’s hand off his hip and clutched it to his chest.

Sleep was calling his name but he could tell Namjoon was more awake than him. He didn’t want to fall asleep and let him lay there in his thoughts.

“Did you want to meet up tomorrow?”

“Sure. You’ve got work in the morning, right?”

“Yeah but first I’ll be at my appointment to get my cast off.”

“Oh right!” Namjoon said happily. “You’re finally getting it off.”

“It’s been nine weeks and everything seems healed. It’ll be so nice to take showers without a plastic bag wrapped around my arm.”

“Oh! Now I could suck your dick in the shower if I want.”

“Hyung can you please stop bringing up the topic of sucking me off. I’m too sleepy for your horny talk.”

“Sorry.” The older boy laughed.

“You can bring it up again when I’m fully awake and we’ve got time to actually do more than just talk about it.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Good.”

Namjoon didn’t say anything in return and for a moment he thought his boyfriend had fallen asleep. After a few minutes he found himself starting to doze off until he felt Namjoon’s hand in his hair again.

“Not tired yet?”

“I am, it’s just my mind keeping me up.”

“You ok?”

“My apartment is trashed but I’m hoping that the cleaning company I’m calling in the morning will be able to fit me in tomorrow so my place can be cleaned while I’m at work. I really should’ve called earlier.”

“Don’t worry about it. If they don’t get to it you can stay here again. Everything will work out.”

“Alright..”

“I know it’s nearly impossible not to worry about everything but I’m here. You don’t have to do anything alone, remember that.”

Jungkook felt Namjoon lean in behind him and the older boy kissed the back of his head. “I’ll remember that.”

They both finally fell asleep and woke up to Jungkook’s alarm going off, well Jungkook woke up. He shot out of bed and turned it off, hoping the older boy could sleep in for even fifteen minutes more. He was expecting to see either a drunken mess left behind or both his friends passed out on the couch. He was surprised to see neither but instead was greeted by the smell of coffee. He made his way to the kitchen and saw a sleepy Yoohyeon sipping on her coffee with her eyes shut at the table. Jimin was at the counter putting plates together.

“You both are up early.” He laughed as he saw Jimin flinch.

“Jungkookie, I nearly threw this plate at the wall.. ” His roommate turned and let out an aggravated sigh.

Yoohyeon giggled into her mug. “That would have been funny to see, let’s be honest here.”

“If you wanna see that happen then you’ll get to clean up the mess.” Jimin deadpanned.

Jungkook smiled at the bickering and got himself some coffee. Yoohyeon left after finishing hers off and Jimin not long after left to practice at the dance studio. He and Jimin were planning to eat lunch together, Jungkook demanding updates on his friend and Hoseok. But before he could even start his work day he had to get his cast off. It would be the last shower he’d have to endure with the plastic wrapped around his cast and he found himself happily humming during and after the shower because of it.

When he went back to his room for clothes he found a very awake Namjoon sitting up with the blanket tangled around his midriff. His boyfriend had the sketchbook in his hands and Jungkook sighed.

“Still looking at that, huh?”

Namjoon lifted his head and his lips curled up at the sight of Jungkook freshly showered. “Not anymore with you standing there in just a towel.”

“Don’t you start.” He furrowed his brow.

“Sorry, I’ll save that talk for later.” The older boy raised his hands in surrender.

Jungkook walked to his dresser and opened up the drawer with his socks and underwear inside. He could feel Namjoon’s eyes on him from behind and it made his face hot. “Can you, uh, turn around or something?”

“What? Why?” The older boy whined.

“I just want to get to my appointment on time and having you behind me breathing heavily as I change probably isn’t a good idea.”

“Oh. Right.”

Jungkook heard the bed creak and he glanced to see Namjoon facing away from him. “Thanks.” He let the towel drop to the floor and he slid into a pair of boxers.

“I’m horny when I’m stressed. Sorry that I’m a lot to handle right now.” Namjoon said with a sad laugh.

“It’s ok. But Hyung?”

“Hm?”

“Stop apologizing to me. I’d let you know if I was upset by anything and with everything that has happened I’m just glad you stayed with me last night. I think I needed you too. So don’t apologize.” He pulled on his favorite dark wash jeans and an oversized hoodie, not caring about how stupid his work vest would look over it.

“I had to catch myself from saying sorry again just now.” Jungkook could hear the smile in the older boy’s voice. “Thank you. I’m so beyond lucky to have you. It kind of.. baffles me sometimes.”

He turned and stepped towards the bed and jumped on the mattress to hug Namjoon from behind. “I feel the same way, Hyung. I used to daydream about talking to you and kissing you when I drew all this pictures.” He pointed to the sketchbook Namjoon had in his lap. “But being with you is _so_ much better than the daydreams I had. There is no comparison. It’s better than a dream. The best part being, it’s all real.”

Namjoon leaned his head back and they gazed into each other’s eyes. “You’re perfect, you know that?” He softly smiled as he leaned in to kiss the younger boy.

Before their kiss could go any further it was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Namjoon was so caught off guard he ended up accidentally bitting his own tongue. Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh at the older boy’s whining as he stuck his tongue out in pain. The ringing at the door became more aggressive so he excused himself from his boyfriend and went to see who was so adamant at the door. He looked at the clock hanging in the kitchen and he needed to head out in the next ten minutes. He opened the door and was greeted with a large boxy grin.

“Tae. What are you doing here?” He tilted his head in question.

“My brother is still here right? I wanted to talk to him before he left for work.”

“Oh, come in.” Jungkook opened the door fully and let Taehyung inside.

Namjoon must’ve heard his younger brother’s voice, he now lingered outside Jungkook’s bedroom door. The look of guilt across the older boy’s face made him feel awful. But he was happy to see Taehyung in his usual high spirits.

“Hey.” Namjoon forced a smile.

“Hi Hyung. Can we talk for a second?” Taehyung turned to Jungkook. “Is your room fine?”

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead.”

He watched as Taehyung lightly closed the door behind them and he sat at the kitchen table unsure if he should wait or not. After almost ten minutes passed he sighed as he got up to gather his bag and coat. He was just about to slip on his shoes when his bedroom door opened. He was relieved to see Namjoon looking in a better state and Taehyung bounced over to Jungkook at the door.

“It’s decided that I’m taking you to your appointment.” His friend gave him two thumbs up.

“I can get there on the bus just fine.” He eyed his boyfriend who was standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room. “Was this your idea?”

Namjoon shook his head in defense. “No, no! It’s all Tae!”

“Uh huh.”

“Come on! Let me drive you! My car has butt warmers.” Taehyung wiggled his eyebrows as he tried to entice the younger boy.

“You’re not going to give up are you..” Taehyung tugged on his arm as he sighed. “Alright, you can take me.”

“Yay!”

“Tae you’re gonna pull my arm out of my socket.” He complained.

“You talk like you’re super fragile.” Taehyung giggled as he pulled away. “I’ll wait outside so you can say goodbye to your boyfriend.” The beautiful boy winked as he zipped up his boots and dashed out the door.

Namjoon finally walked over and stood by him as he buttoned up his coat. He stretched out an arm to grab his scarf but the older boy beat him to it. Jungkook let Namjoon wrap the scarf around his neck, enjoying the happy look on his boyfriend’s face. He pulled out his key and held it out to Namjoon.

“You can lock the door on your way out. We’ll be meeting later anyway so you can give it to me then.”

The older boy nodded. “Ok. Text me afterwards about how it went.”

“I will.” He leaned upwards to gently kiss Namjoon on the lips and pulled away and saw those pretty dimples he loved so much.

They reluctantly parted ways and Jungkook left the building. Taehyung was outside leaning against his car, he looked way too expensive for being in the area they were in. His friend waved at him exaggeratedly and opened the passenger side door for him. Jungkook rolled his eyes as Taehyung obnoxiously bowed before closing the door. Once on the road he could feel the seat underneath him warming up.

“You weren’t kidding about the heated seats.”

“That was the selling point for me honestly.” Taehyung laughed.

“So.. is everything fine with you two?” He asked hesitantly.

“Ah, me and Hyung? Yeah, everything is good.”

“Good. He felt really bad about leaving suddenly last night.”

“I think now that we’ve got a relationship again he’s more worried about that kind of stuff between us. I told him I completely understood why he left and didn’t take it personally at all.”

“Did you talk to your father about anything last night?”

“Yeah. He was the one to talk to me about it first. He said he would be busy the next couple days so if Hyung still needed to stay he could come back without worrying about seeing him.”

“So, he was sorry about how things happened?”

“Not just with last night but with how the last twenty years had played out. He has finally taken a look at his past mistakes and he doesn’t want to leave with any regrets.”

“Leave? Is he going somewhere?”

“No.. not like that.” Taehyung was silent for a few moments. “He has cancer.”

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “What?”

“He made me swear not to tell anyone. But he was diagnosed in the summer. I was actually going to move out when Hyung did but I decided to stay with him when he told me the news.”

“He’s.. getting treatment right?”

“No. That’s why he doesn’t want anyone to know. He just wants to live his life as normally as possible for as long as he can.”

“But treatments have gotten even better for cancer he could very well overcome it.”

“I had that conversation with him but,” He paused. “He said he knows it’s his time.” Taehyung gritted his teeth. “Which is why he wanted to make amends with Hyung so badly but he doesn’t want to upset him either.”

“Does Namjoon Hyung know?”

“No. My dad made me promise not to tell him. He said if Hyung finds out he wants it to be from him.”

“I’m sorry you’ve been bearing all that on your own, Tae.”

His friend smiled weakly. “It’s been pretty complicated emotionally for me. My dad has always been good to me but growing up with how he treated Hyung has made me so angry with him. I don’t really know how I’m feeling, it’s like a mix of sadness and anger.”

“Now that I know you can talk to me whenever you’re overwhelmed by it ok?”

Taehyung’s eyes began to water. “Ok.”

Jungkook was dropped off at his appointment. Luckily the wait in the waiting room wasn’t unbearably long and he was soon seen with a doctor. The woman explained how she’d be removing the cast and Jungkook couldn’t deny that he was a bit intimidated by the piece of equipment she brought out to use for the job. The motor on the machine was louder than expected and he braced himself for it to begin.

It was a strange sensation, feeling the air on the skin of his left arm again. Another woman who was helping took his cast away and he tried to form a first with his hand. It felt a little more weak than he’d like but he was happy he could use it more freely again. He was told to be cautious with lifting heavy things and to use it lightly at first so it got used to being used again.

He left the doctor’s office in a good mood and took a taxi to get to his job quicker, plus he wasn’t in the mood to sit on the bus for twenty minutes. Seokjin was waiting near the entrance for him and immediately noticed the cast was gone.

“Your cast is off!”

“Yeah, it’ll take some getting used to.”

“You think you’ll be fine doing work on the floor next week? I’ll keep you on the register for the remainder of the week regardless.”

“It should be fine.”

“Good. I miss you alphabetizing the books and such. I love Yoohyeon but she tends to mess up the order. Don’t tell her I said that though.” The oldest whispered the last part.

“I won’t.” He whispered back.

His shift went by quickly and before he knew it he was clocking out. Jungkook had forgotten to text Namjoon before but sent off a quick message with a lot of cute emojis. Namjoon sweetly responded that he couldn’t wait to hold his left hand (because the cast made it too awkward beforehand). He had decided to wait to eat until he was done with work and it worked better with Jimin’s schedule anyway. They were meeting at a place famous for it's fried chicken. The students in the area sweared by it, even saying if you ate it before a test that you were guaranteed a passing mark.

Jimin was told about it by one of his friends whose in the dance program. They had wished they had known of the place before exams but his friend pointed out that the restaurant was probably extremely packed and they might’ve missed the opportunity to eat something from it anyway. Even with exams over the line spilled out into the sidewalk. The wind wasn’t as harsh but it was still hard to wait outside in the December weather. A few people before them grew inpatient and left and they only waited five more minutes before they finally made it past the door. Once inside and seated they ordered the most popular set and waited for their food. It was hot inside, polar opposite from the line they were previously in. It was a combination of a lot of people in one small space and all the hot oil in the kitchen frying the chicken. Both boys were surprised to get their meal in under ten minutes and they forgot about conversation for the moment and immediately dug in. Jimin and Jungkook temporarily communicated through their body language and eyes. Jimin hunched over and made an exaggerated look of joy and Jungkook nodded in agreement. After finishing off half the deliciously crunchy fried chicken Jungkook started up conversation.

“So how’s things with Hoseok Hyung?” He raised an eyebrow.

Jimin stopped mid-chew. “Well..” He swallowed his food. “I stayed the night on Christmas. It was PG don’t worry.“

“It went that well huh?”

“I guess so.” Jimin smiled. “We just talked. We talked so long we didn’t realize until it was early morning so he offered for me to sleep over.”

“What did you guys talk about?”

“Lots of things. At first it was the usual, dancing and stupid stuff we saw on Twitter. But we talked about some more personal things and it was a nice change.”

“I’m glad. You two are cute together. But in all honesty, the both of you are an intimidating couple. Tae and Yoongi Hyung are softies compared to you two.”

Jimin laughed. “ _The_ power couple.”

Jungkook continued to listen to his friend talk about Hoseok and he couldn’t stop smiling. All he ever wanted for the people he cared about in his life was for them to be happy. And Jimin seemed happy. It was of course too early to say for that backwards pair but Jungkook knew they’d get it situated just fine.

It was now three in the afternoon and Namjoon wouldn’t be done with work just yet. Jimin was leaving to meet up with Hoseok and they said their goodbyes. Jungkook decided to wander around the stores surrounding the area and found himself in a print shop. An interesting array of black and white photos in the display window caught his eye so he lead himself inside. The shop seemed to be empty except for the middle aged gentleman at the counter. The man was dressed sharp with a black leather cap.

“Welcome.”

“Ah, hi.” He awkwardly replied.

“Your first time here?”

“Yes. I didn’t know a print shop was up here.”

“We’re a little hidden aren’t we?”

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Oh, those photos in the front..?”

“The black and white ones? My son took those. He’s really talented, could’ve been a professional photographer I think. But he decided on another profession.”

“Well, it’s always good to keep as a hobby.”

“You’re very right.”

Jungkook walked around the store and he saw more work that had the same feeling as the ones in the display window. _More of his son's_ , he thought. The walls were decorated with old cameras and pictures from different time areas. It was almost like a mini museum. He circled around and found himself at the counter with the kind man who was now calling for his son to come to the front.

“You’re a photographer too?”

“How could you tell?” Jungkook asked surprised.

“Just a lucky guess.” The man smiled.

A deep voice rang in the distance. “Did you need something dad?”

“Minho! We’ve got a young photographer here.”

The door left a jar to the back of the store was pushed open and he saw someone he never expected to see outside of the job.

“Detective Choi.” Jungkook said shocked.

“Wait? You know my son?” The middle-aged man looked between them puzzled.

“Yeah dad, I’m working on his case.”

“Wow. It’s a small world!”

It was odd to see the Detective in such an opposite setting. Photography was his world but he was suddenly sharing it with Detective Choi. The Detective’s father decided to check some inventory and left them alone.

“Funny seeing me here, right?”

“I definitely wasn’t expecting it.” Jungkook smiled.

“I kinda figured you did photography when we got that camera for evidence. It wasn’t professional of me to really bring up in conversation though.”

“Oh I understand. So you work here too?”

“I like to help out my dad whenever I can. And it’s a nice atmosphere in here too.”

“It’s nice. I think I’ll be coming back here in the future.”

“You definitely should because my dad will probably give you a discount now that he knows you know me.” Detective Choi chuckled. “By the way, you can call me Minho outside of the station.”

“Alright. Minho Hyung.”

Jungkook left with the promise of visiting again, Minho’s father made him shake on it. Unsure what to do with the rest of his spare time he decided to head to a café near his apartment to work on his assigned pages for the webcomic. On the bus ride there he received a text from Namjoon.

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent 3:36pm

_I’ll be getting out early tonight!_

 

**Me**

sent 3:38pm

_I’m going to a café near my apartment. How long until you'll be out?_

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent 3:39pm

_An hour! Oh and great news the cleaning company was able to do the job while I was out today. I got a confirmation text that it was finished._

 

**Me**

sent 3:40pm

_I’m so glad it got done!!!!!!!!!!_

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent 3:42pm

_Me too I was stressing about it this morning but now I can go and relax in my own space (with you preferably)_

 

_Me_

sent 3:43pm

_Chinese takeout at your apartment then? I think I’d rather have a night in too._

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent 3:45pm

_Sounds perfect baby :)_

 

Jungkook almost missed his stop, Namjoon calling him baby definitely distracting him. He ordered a coffee and sat at the back of the café in hopes of actually getting some work done. Everyone in the art club was given something to do after exams, mostly because Mingyu didn’t want to loose the momentum they had right now. They had been publishing chapter after chapter even during exams and their readers were grateful. The webtoon had been doing so well that a website dedicated to them had reached out hoping to add the comic to their site. Everyone decided to agree but it was now an added pressure with that kind of exposure. Previously it was uploaded to the art club page on the school’s website. This would be their first new chapter since joining the webtoon site and expectations were high.

Jungkook was nervous about the pages he was assigned to draw. One of them was going to be the first kiss shared between the main characters. The readers had been dying from the slow burn (Minghao’s specialty) and were expecting the kiss scene in the next upload. He had drawn a few drafts of the big moment but he wasn’t pleased with anything so far. The feeling wasn’t right and his current dilemma was trying to figure out a way to fix that.

He knew the feeling the main character was going through, he had never kissed a boy before and wasn’t confident in himself because of it. He had wanted to capture that feeling but it was easier said than done. He drew out a few more drafts and hadn’t realized how long he was lost in concentration. He flinched when his phone began to ring, snapping him out of his trance. It was Namjoon.

“Hi.” He answered the phone.

“Hey I’m on my way. What café are you at?”

“The one down the street from my apartment. I can walk down and wait outside though.”

“Ok. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Namjoon hung up and Jungkook collected his things and made the short walk to his apartment. He didn’t have to wait long before the older boy’s car pulled up into the parking lot. He jogged over to car and lingered outside the driver side’s door. Namjoon shot out of the vehicle and grabbed the back of Jungkook’s neck and tugged him forward pressing his lips against his as a sensual hello. The kiss was disturbed by a person walking by.

“Get a room you homos.” A young woman spit out at them.

“We will, thank you.” Namjoon gave her his charming smile and the look of confusion on her face was priceless.

Jungkook tried to control his laughter as the woman stormed off. Namjoon played it off cool as he grabbed a few things in the back seat. They went up to the older boy’s apartment and once inside it smelled of cleaners. There were a couple things on the kitchen table that he noticed right away. One being a broken trophy and the self portrait he took as a gift for Namjoon without it’s frame. His boyfriend caught his perplexed expression.

“He trashed the frame. I’m sorry.” The older boy frowned.

“That sucks..” He sighed. “Why did you say sorry? It’s not your fault.”

“I know but.. it was a present from you. I feel like I didn’t take care of it.”

“I can get you another frame, Hyung. I’d rather you be safe over this frame any day.”

Namjoon smiled warmly then looked down and saw Jungkook’s hands in his hoodie pocket. “Show me you’re cast-less hand!”

“Ah! How could I forget.” He pulled his left hand and held it up to the older boy. “Isn’t it weird not seeing the cast?” He giggled.

Namjoon reached out and softly grasped Jungkook’s hand and brought it to his lips and kissed the top tenderly. “I’m glad I can hold your hand properly now.”

Jungkook blushed. “Uh, yeah.”

The older boy pulled Jungkook's other hand out of his pocket and kissed it as well. He held both his hands and smiled. “I’ve been wanting to do that for awhile.”

“You’re like a prince from a movie it’s stressing me out.”

“In a good way?”

“Regrettably, yes.”

“You’re so cute.” Namjoon chuckled as he kissed his forehead.

Jungkook couldn’t form words at the sudden attack. Instead he watched as his boyfriend took his laptop out of a messenger bag. Set on the table was a backpack, the messenger bag and a paper bag that looked like it was meant for gifts.

“What’s in that?” He pointed to the nice paper bag.

“Oh that? Yoongi Hyung gave it to me. He said it was some necessities I’d probably need now that I’m back at my place.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t looked inside it yet. You can open it up if you want.”

Jungkook picked up the bag and wasn’t expecting it to have any weight to it. It had a line of tape keeping it closed and he tried pulling it apart with his hands. Unfortunately he accidentally ripped the bag. Namjoon just laughed at the tear and motioned for him to look inside. He had no clue what Yoongi’s perception of “ _necessary_ ” was but now he definitely had an insight.

“Are those…” Namjoon trailed off.

“Yeah. Condoms.” He felt something heavy at the bottom of the bag and pulled out a bottle. His face grew hot.

“That lube could last me a year.” The older boy joked.

“Did Yoongi Hyung even give you an explanation of what he was _actually_  giving you when he handed you this?”

“No.. I’m just as surprised as you.”

“Wait. There’s a note at the bottom of the bag.” Jungkook picked it up and it all made sense. He handed over the note to Namjoon.

 

_It’s your favorite Hyung, Seokjin!_

_I figured that creep might have gone through everything in your place. My thought was, that maniac would totally put holes in condoms and contaminate lube right? Be grateful I’m thinking of your safety and humbly accept my sincere gift._

_P.S. This is my favorite lube. Enjoy_ ❤

 

“He must’ve not told Yoongi Hyung what was inside and was ultimately the delivery boy.” Namjoon cackled.

“Imagine if he knew what he handed you..” Jungkook bursted out laughing.

“Seokjin Hyung did him a favor. Me too I guess.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I haven’t used the condoms in my nightstand in a long time so they were probably expired. So, it doesn’t matter if they were messed with I guess.”

“What do you mean by a long time?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Hmm. At least half a year, maybe more.” Namjoon shrugged.

“Do you..” Jungkook paused a moment. “Do you want to do it?”

Namjoon’s eyes bulged out of his head. “W-what? I mean, _yeah_ but we can take our time together.”

“But you said yourself that you’re horny when you’re stressed. I want to help.”

“Baby I can deal. I don’t want your first time to be because you’re trying to help me de-stress.” The older boy walked over and held his hands.

“But what if that’s what I want?” He pouted.

“Jungkookie..” Namjoon layed his head on the younger boy’s shoulder and let out a low sigh. He was quiet for a few moments but soon raised his head. Jungkook wasn’t prepared for the intensity of Namjoon’s gaze he was met with. “Let’s take small steps. We can try something tonight, alright?”

“Something?” He perked up.

“Yeah.” His boyfriend grabbed the bag from the table and walked to the bedroom with their fingers interlocked. “I guess Chinese takeout will have to wait.”

Jungkook honestly wasn’t sure what came over him. He had definitely had dreams about having sex with Namjoon, more so after they started dating. Seeing the bag full of condoms was almost a reality check. So much had happened and would continue to that it made Jungkook realize that life is short. He wanted to be with Namjoon in all ways possible. He was scared before but he was with someone that made him feel completely safe. He was with his Namjoon.

He didn’t really know what to do with his body. He lingered near the door as Namjoon placed the bag on the nightstand. The older boy turned around and smiled sweetly at him. He held a hand out and Jungkook glided over to him in a few steps. Namjoon looked into his eyes with such love it made him almost want to cry. He placed his hands on Namjoon’s chest and leaned up to kiss those plump lips. It wasn’t rushed but more calm and soft. The kiss felt like home.

Namjoon pushed him backwards and the back of his thighs hit the mattress. They pulled away from the kiss and Namjoon swiftly took off his sweatshirt, Jungkook only now realizing it was one of his. The older boy tugged at the bottom of his hoodie and together they pulled it off. He flinched as Namjoon placed a cold hand on his stomach and watched as it trailed up his chest. Jungkook held in a high pitched moan as his boyfriend rubbed a thumb over a nipple. The older boy grined.

“I’ve been really wanting to play with your nipples. I thought a lot about it today actually.”

“Really?” He breathed out.

“Yeah.” Namjoon licked his lips. “Can you lay on the bed for me?”

Jungkook nodded and crawled onto the bed. Namjoon spared no time and crawled on top of him, leaning down to kiss him deeply this time. He opened his mouth to allow the older boy’s tongue inside and he moaned and twitched as his nipples were pinched with Namjoon’s free hand. He felt his cock starting to harden and he cursed at his tight jeans. The older boy pulled away from the kiss, a string of salvia still connecting their mouths. Without warning Namjoon began to swirl his tongue around a nipple and softly sucked on it before going to the next one. Jungkook cried out in pleasure. He whined and wiggled underneath the older boy and didn’t know what to do with his own hands. At first he gripped the blanket under him but desired the feeling of Namjoon’s skin more. He held onto Namjoon’s torso and felt his muscles flexing against his hands. The skin was already becoming sticky with sweat but he couldn’t see much of the older boy’s body with his eyes closing every time he bite down on his nipples.

“Hyung.. _mmm_ good.” Jungkook barely got out in between his whimpering.

“It’s good?” Namjoon smiled.

“Yeah. But my pants.”

“Ah, that.” He pressed down on the obvious bulge in Jungkook’s tight jeans and the younger boy whimpered at the pressure. “Looks uncomfortable. Let’s take them off.”

“Please.”

Namjoon unbuttoned the younger boy’s jeans and pulled the zipper down. The older boy took off his pants as well. Jungkook lifted his hips as his jeans were tugged off. He giggled as Namjoon struggled to get the material past his ankles. After a little help from Jungkook the jeans were thrown to the floor. Just like before, his cock stuck out from the top of his underwear but this time he wasn’t as embarrassed. The older boy looked down at him hungrily and he forgot to breathe for a second. He held eye contact with him as he pushed his underwear down to expose himself. Namjoon’s eyes flickered to his cock and the older boy licked his lips. He was helped with taking the rest of his underwear off, it being thrown to the floor as well. Jungkook’s back arched off the bed as Namjoon payed attention to the tip of his cock, spreading the precum down his shaft.

“ _Shit_.” He whispered.

“Baby? Can you grab that bag for me?” Namjoon gestured towards the nightstand.

He stretched forward and grabbed the bag then handed it over.

“And one more thing. Can you spread your legs for me?”

Jungkook’s heart skipped a beat but he quietly nodded and opened his legs feeling the most exposed he ever had. Namjoon softly caressed his thigh with one hand as he took the lube out of the bag with the other.

“We’re not going all the way tonight but I thought we could start having you get used to having something here.” Namjoon pressed against his hole and he flinched at the touch.

“Ok.” He whispered as he bit his lip.

“It’s best if you relax your body alright? And tell me if it hurts and we’ll stop.” His boyfriend softly kissed his inner thigh.

“Alright.”

He tried his best to relax his body but it was a little hard to with his legs spread open wide and his cock twitching against his stomach. He heard the click of the bottle being opened and a squirt noise. Jungkook was expecting to be touched down near his hole again but to his surprise Namjoon pumped his cock with a generous amount of lube. It was so slippery and slick it felt way different from the last time he was touched there. Namjoon’s hand slid all over his shaft, it was messy but good.

“I’m gonna start now baby.”

“Mm.”

The older boy continued to pump his cock but now his other hand gave another part of him some attention. The extra lube that was poured for his cock dribbled down his ass and he could feel it collecting underneath him. He felt a finger slide down and swirl around his hole. Namjoon pressed lightly against it but started swirling around it again. He was being pumped a little on the slow side but once a finger was pressing against him again the speed picked up. The pleasure distracted him from the odd feeling of half of Namjoon’s finger now being inside him.

“You ok?”

“Yeah. Keep going.”

The finger wiggled inside him and it felt weird. It wasn’t necessarily painful but was more uncomfortable if anything. He tried his best to relax his body like Namjoon told him but he wasn’t sure it was working. The finger was pushed deeper inside and was moved back in forth.

“You still ok?”

“Yeah it’s just a little - _ah_!”

Jungkook’s back arched off the bed as a wave of unfamiliar pleasure went through him. It continued on as Namjoon’s finger pressed against something inside him that made his senses go haywire.

“Found it.” Namjoon smirked.

The older boy pushed harder and rubbed inside him and Jungkook screamed out. His head became jumbled and all he could think about was the pleasure. On instinct he lowered himself on Namjoon’s finger desperate for the feeling and his boyfriend continued to swirl his fingers around his cock when he did so.

“ _Fuck_. I didn’t think you’d feel it so fast.”

“Hyung, it feels _ah_ , really _mm_ good.” He slurred out as he pressed himself down again.

“Can I put another finger in?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook’s voice was already wrecked.

Namjoon slowly pulled out his finger and he whimpered wanting it back. He heard the click of the bottle again and soon felt two slick fingers pressed against him. The older boy leaned closer, giving him a better view of his boyfriend. Namjoon’s hair was sticking to his forehead and sweat dripped down his jaw. He watched as the older boy lowered his head and opened his mouth to suck on the tip of his cock. It was all too much as he felt the fingers being pressed inside at the same time. He winced at the more apparent stretch but if was evened out with Namjoon’s lips sucking around his throbbing cock. But the older boy noticed the discomfort Jungkook was in and raised his head.

“Does it hurt?”

“Just a little but it’s ok.”

Namjoon furrowed his brow. “Are you sure?”

“It’s fine. I’m ok.”

Namjoon now took even more time pressing his fingers inside. The wait drove Jungkook crazy but it definitely hurt way less. Once the fingers were fully inside, Namjoon kissed the skin around his cock and balls. Kissing turned into licking then licking turned into sucking. Jungkook’s body clinged to the blanket underneath him, the sweat acting as a kind of glue. He spread his legs even farther apart hoping it’d help the strain in his legs but it did more than that. The angle allowed for better access and with barely any movement on Namjoon’s part he was seeing stars again. He moaned out and it caught the older boy off guard.

“Did I hurt you?” His boyfriend asked frightened.

“No, you can go deeper.”

He wiggled his hips in hopes Namjoon would quickly move, and he did. Jungkook’s voice cracked as the older boy thrusted his fingers deep inside him. He could barely breathe before they were pulled out and thrusted in again. It was a kind of pleasure he never knew existed and it scared him how addictive it already was. His hips moved on their own helping Namjoon set a fast pace. He cried out when Namjoon abandoned his cock and instead thrusted inside him deeper and faster. His eyes began to water as he tried to breathe properly. Jungkook let his hand wander down and he wrapped it around his cock. He pumped himself at a fast speed matching Namjoon’s thrusts.

“Hyung- _mmm_. I’m c-close.”

“Ok baby.” Namjoon grunted out.

The older boy was relentless and thrusted at an even faster pace. With one hand Jungkook pinched his nipple and the other still focused on his cock. He didn’t last much longer, Namjoon making damn sure of that. Jungkook threw his head back on the pillow as his body violently twitched at the unbelievable explosion of pleasure. He tried to scream out but nothing left his throat. He gasped for air as his body twitched in sensitivity when Namjoon slowly slid his fingers out.

Jungkook hadn’t noticed until he felt something hot and sticky shook onto his stomach but Namjoon had taken care of himself as he pleasured the younger boy. Namjoon was bent over panting as his cock began to go soft. Jungkook whined at his boyfriend.

“Hyung. I could have done that for you.” He was still trying to catch his breath.

“Honestly? I couldn’t wait.. I was way too turned on watching you.”

“Oh.” He blushed.

“So,” Namjoon crawled down the bed to lay beside him. He moved the younger boy’s bangs out of his face. “That went well.”

“ _Very_ well.”

They both laughed and stayed on the bed like that for a little while. But not long after Jungkook complained about feeling gross and sticky and he decided to go take a quick shower. Namjoon said he’d order the Chinese food and they could relax and watch a movie afterwards. Which was exactly what they did. They sat on the couch huddled together and ate way too much food. Namjoon picked out an 80’s horror movie to watch and they laughed at the cheesy music used for suspense.

When the movie credits were rolling he glanced over and saw that Namjoon was fast asleep. The older boy was drooling a bit on the decorative pillow and Jungkook smiled. He thought back to Christmas Eve day when he told Namjoon that he thought he was in love with him. Jungkook’s heart bursted when the older boy said it back to him and he was so happy. But now he wanted to take it back because he didn’t _think_ he was in love. Jungkook _knew_  he was in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin gently slutdropping in the distance: Have safe sex kids


	36. You Can Kiss Me Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shower buddies and a call from an unknown number

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a little late! I've been having a lack of motivation to write this past week (the writer's block didn't help) but I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> I would appreciate if you enjoyed the updates to leave a comment!! Hearing what you guys have to say and interacting with you helps keep me motivated to write!! Love you all ❤❤❤❤

Jungkook didn’t have work in the morning so he wasn’t woken up by the harsh noise of his alarm. Instead he woke up to the feeling of being enveloped in a warm embrace. Light seeped into the bedroom, no heavy curtains to block the sunlight out. He blinked his eyes open and felt Namjoon’s heavy body on him. He woke up on his back and the older boy using him like a giant pillow. He glanced down and saw the peaceful look on his boyfriend’s face as he slept. It was a bit of an uncomfortable position but he didn’t want to wake the older boy up just yet.

Jungkook had to drag the half asleep Namjoon into bed last night. He didn’t want to disturb the older boy’s sleep but knew if they stayed on the couch their necks and backs would pay for it in the morning. He couldn’t see the clock in his current angle but figured it wasn’t close to the time of his later classes in the day.

He was surprised to find that his body was a little sore. He blushed at the obvious reason why. Jungkook now layed embarrassed at the desperation he displayed so blatantly last night. He was never so forward in his life and he figured it had a lot to do with it being with Namjoon. He never thought of himself as some kind sexual being with all sorts of sexual desires but now his eyes had been opened. He never felt that way because he didn’t have anyone do that with. But it couldn’t just be anyone, it had to be an actual connection with someone. Jungkook always knew he was never the type to meet someone once and have sex with them. The thought was too scary and impersonal. He knows Namjoon did that as a way to cope before and it made him even happier that they found each other. What used to be so scary to him, the unknown and inexperience, was replaced with curiosity and excitement. There was no denying that he would be embarrassed at the beginning but it was something new and he felt safe and taken care of by Namjoon.

Jungkook’s inner monologue was interrupted by Namjoon moving in his sleep. The older boy’s grip on him was even tighter now as he nuzzled deeper into the crook of the younger boy’s neck. It had at least been fifteen minutes that he layed awake now and he thought they should finally get up.

“Hyung, let’s get up.” He shook the older boy’s shoulder.

“Nah I’m good.” Namjoon’s voice was groggy.

“Fine. _I’ll_ get up.” He huffed as he pushed his boyfriend’s arms off him. But Jungkook didn’t even take one step off the bed before Namjoon pulled him right back under him.

“Oh no you don’t.“ The older boy smirked as he crawled on top of him. “You can’t just leave without giving me a good morning kiss.”

Jungkook playfully rolled his eyes. “Really? Is this now a rule?”

“Yes.” Namjoon’s dimples showed as he cutely smiled.

“Well, rules _are_ rules.”

Jungkook leaned up and kissed the older boy. It was soft and comfortable and it made him want to melt back into bed. But the whole point was to get out of bed so they wouldn’t just sleep the day away. He could sleep later, he wanted to be with Namjoon as long as possible before his classes. After a few more lazy kisses he was released and they both officially got up for the day. Jungkook could now see the clock and it was ten in the morning. He had five hours of time with his boyfriend but he wasn’t sure what they were planning to do.

In a clumsy sleepy state Namjoon headed to the kitchen and started the coffee. Jungkook rummaged through the cabinets and fridge but didn’t find a lot of food he could work with to attempt to make a breakfast.

“Hyung. You literally never have food at home.” He complained.

Namjoon opened a cabinet and grabbed two clean mugs. “It’s mostly because of my work schedule. If I buy groceries they almost always go bad before I can use all of it, even if I only buy food to last a week.” The older boy shrugged.

“Oh. That makes sense I guess.” He nodded as he closed the fridge door.

“But since you visit a lot maybe I could get away with buying some food and it not going bad? Plus, I like it when you cook for me.”

“Buy some groceries and an apron for me and I’ll cook for you whenever you want.”

Namjoon whipped his head around. “Are you serious?”

Jungkook bursted out laughing at the expression on his boyfriend’s face. “I mean, initially I was half joking half not but..” He smiled wide. “It better be a cool apron you get me.”

“Cool? What does a _cool_ apron even look like?”

He continued to laugh as he watched the puzzled look on the older boy’s face. Namjoon never got an answer but they drank their coffee up and decided to head out for breakfast instead. Namjoon went to shower first and Jungkook went through his boyfriend’s closet to find something to wear for the day. He had never looked at Namjoon’s clothes in it’s entirety and he wasn’t surprised with the theme he saw. All neutrals and warm colors. Where Jungkook’s wardrobe stopped at white, black and grey, the older boy’s continued on with earth tones. He smiled as he held the sleeve of a deep brown sweater. He always thought of Namjoon as a nature boy and it was kind of satisfying to see his clothes reflect that. He took the brown sweater off the hanger and decided on wearing that with the jeans he wore the previous day. He giggled happily as he decided he’d pick an outfit out for his boyfriend but suddenly heard Namjoon’s voice call for him. He rushed out of the room to find the older boy standing outside the bathroom door with a towel wrapped around his hips. Jungkook stared at him in confusion, Namjoon’s hair being dry and his head down.

“Hyung?”

“I feel really stupid right now but.. I couldn’t take a shower.” The older boy’s head stayed lowered.

“What.. is um, something wrong with the shower?” He took a few steps closer and gently placed a hand on Namjoon’s arm.

“I left out something about the bathtub when I told you about it.”

“Was it too hard to talk about?”

Namjoon nodded his head. “But I didn’t think it’d fuck with me even though it’s cleaned up. The bathroom still smells of the bleach they used to clean it with but I still felt filthy stranding in the shower.” The older boy took a deep breath. “Not only were the pages torn apart and thrown in the tub.. the bastard pissed all over it. There was no way to salvage the pages because of that. And I could still see the image in my head. I couldn’t even turn the water on.” Namjoon bit his lip as he tried not to cry.

Jungkook felt rage filling up inside him. “That fucking piece of shit.” He snarled.

Namjoon lifted his head with tears in his eyes. “Hearing you so angry makes me feel a little better though.” He smiled.

The younger boy frowned and held the both of his boyfriend’s hands. “Is there anyway I can help?”

“I don’t really think so..”

“So, what are you going to do about showering?”

Namjoon sighed. “I don’t know honestly. Maybe I should just go back in and get it over with?”

“Or..” Jungkook had an idea but wasn’t sure if it’d help or make things worse. “Did you want me in the shower with you?” He cleared his throat. “Like, I could wash your back and we could talk so your mind is off of it?”

“That.. could work.” Namjoon was deep in thought for a few seconds. “But only if you want to.”

“Hyung, _I_ was the one who bought it up.” He poked the older boy in the stomach and got a giggle in reply.

“Hey! Don’t tickle me!” Namjoon laughed.

“Ok ok! Let’s shower and get some breakfast, alright?”

“Ok.”

Namjoon lead the way and they both stood in the bathroom awkwardly for a second. It felt much smaller with the both of them in the space. The older boy turned his attention to the shower and put the water on. Jungkook didn’t know why he was so embarrassed. His legs were spread open in front of Namjoon’s face the previous night and yet his body was too stiff to make the move to pull his shirt off. But he reminded himself of why he was in there in the first place, his embarrassment wasn’t worth his time. He pulled off his shirt in one quick motion along with the loose sweatpants he was wearing. These were the clothes he threw on when he woke up so he actually wasn’t wearing underwear underneath. He looked up to see Namjoon staring at him.

“Is the water at a good temperature?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah.”

The older boy opened the curtain and took his towel off before stepping inside. Jungkook went in behind him and it was another tight squeeze. They both naturally laughed as the shampoo and conditioner containers fell down because Namjoon bumped into them.

“Ok get your head wet and hand me that wash cloth.” Jungkook demanded.

His boyfriend silently obeyed, letting his hair becoming fully soaked after handing a wash cloth over. Jungkook got the cloth wet and poured some body wash on it. He began washing the older boy’s back and he could see Namjoon’s muscles begin to relax.

“That feels nice.”

“Good.” He smiled.

At any other time he’d be a nervous wreck taking a shower with the older boy. And the more he thought about it the more he didn’t understand why he would. But in this moment none of that was important. He had a strong feeling inside him, one fueled by the anger he had felt prior. He needed to make Namjoon feel safe. He needed to protect him.

“So what are we eating?” His boyfriend asked as he rinsed out the shampoo in his hair.

“Hmm. I’m tempted to go to that bakery we’ve been going to lately.”

“The one we got the Christmas cake from?”

“Yeah. I kept forgetting the name but when I realized there was a space in between Coco and Co it made it easier to remember.”

“Yeah, basically Coco company. They had a sign about their name in the store saying it symbolizes how chocolate and sweets are always good company. It had double meaning of course since they are a company.”

“What? I never saw a sign?”

“The first time we were there and you were picking out muffins, I saw it as I was waiting.”

“Oh. Well I want to see this sign so it’s settled, we’re going there.”

“For muffins?”

“Let’s not tie ourselves down to just muffins.”

Namjoon laughed. “Oh no we can’t have that. We have to try new things, not get the same thing every time we go like we’re in our eighties.”

“I can’t believe _you’re_ the one preaching that when you’re the king of always ordering the same thing.”

The older boy turned around to face Jungkook. “Sorry your boyfriend has the mental age of eighty five.” He placed his hands on the younger boy’s shoulders. “Your turn.”

Namjoon took the cloth from him as they switched places. The water sprayed over him and his hair finally got soaked. The older boy was already scrubbing his back when he grabbed the shampoo for himself. He giggled as Namjoon lifted his arm to scrub his armpit clean, almost falling over from it.

“That seriously tickles, Hyung.” He laughed.

Namjoon didn’t say anything but a moment later he wrapped his arms around the younger boy’s chest, leaning his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Thank you.” He whispered.

Jungkook held onto the older boy’s hands around him and turned his head to look him in the eyes. “You’re welcome.” He said softly.

“I’m so lucky to have you..” Namjoon looked at him with such love, his heart couldn’t take it.

Jungkook closed the distance between their lips and kissed the older boy tenderly. The angle was odd and it hurt his neck but they kissed as Namjoon held him tight. Jungkook had forgotten he never rinsed the conditioner out of his hair until he felt one of his eyes beginning to sting. He winced as he rubbed at it.

“You got conditioner in your eye?”

Jungkook nodded as he tried to get water on his face to flush it out but it wasn’t working. Namjoon positioned the shower head a bit lower and began rinsing his hair.

“It’ll be easier to get out once it’s out of your hair first.” The older boy ran his hands through Jungkook’s hair until it was rinsed out enough. He then held the younger boy’s chin up as he wiped around his eye to get any excess residue safely away from the eyes. He blinked his eyes open and tried again to rinse anything else out and finally the stinging sensation was gone.

“Thanks.”

Namjoon just smiled and kissed Jungkook’s forehead and then turned the water off. The older boy stepped out first and turned to hand him a towel. They both dried off in the small space. Jungkook was drying his chest when Namjoon took a smaller towel and placed it on his head. It completely blocked his vision and all he heard was his boyfriend laughing.

“Let me do it for you.”

The towel was pushed back and the older boy began drying his hair. He closed his eyes and abandoned drying himself for a moment to enjoy the pampering. After a minute the towel dropped around his neck and he felt a hand on his face. He opened his eyes to see Namjoon’s smiling at him softly.

“You’re so cute.”

Jungkook blushed.

“I guess when I said seeing you relaxed makes me feel better it was more true than I realized.” The older boy ran his finger over his cheek.

“I wanted to take care of _you_  though. It kinda backfired on me.” He pouted.

“You take care of me a lot, Jungkookie. But letting me take care of you is a way of helping me too. It’s mostly the small things anyway like playing with your hair or drying it after a shower.”

“Both related to my hair.” He laughed.

“Next time I’ll braid your hair then.”

They both giggled together. After getting dressed (Jungkook in the end _did_ pick out an outfit for his boyfriend) they left to get breakfast. He had grown up seeing people on TV shows who had a place or store they always went to, he felt like he was in a sitcom. Especially when they arrived and they were greeted by the same girl they’d met behind the counter each time.

“You’re regulars now.” She smiled wide.

The girl had a small frame and always wore themed scarfs around her neck. Jungkook was caught staring at the snowflake scarf she was wearing. Namjoon interrupted to point out the sign they had talked about. Jungkook made a cheesy joke that cakes  _and_ Namjoon were the best company. The girl behind the counter must’ve heard.

“You two are a sweet couple.” She whispered. Both of them looked at her dumbly, not thinking they were being so obvious. She tried to hold back a smile at the looks on their faces. “You two don’t have to worry, I’m in the community too.” She whispered again.

Jungkook’s eyes lit up. “You are?”

She smiled. “Yeah. I even help run my college’s LGBT club.”

“Uh, before we order could I get your name?”

“Oh!” She laughed. “My scarf always ends up covering my name tag.” She moved the tied end of the fabric and underneath was a tag that read Soohyun.

“Well Soohyun, what do you recommended for us to try?” Namjoon asked.

Soohyun smiled brightly. “Do you like cheesecake?”

Jungkook had never had cheesecake for breakfast before but it was too hard to turn down the way Soohyun described it. They were sitting at their usual spot, the younger boy already finished his cake. Namjoon was doing a much better job at savoring it and it made him want a second slice.

“So,” Jungkook licked his lips as he thought. “I met Detective Choi off the clock yesterday.”

Namjoon looked up from his cake. “You did?”

“Turns out he does photography and works at his father’s print shop when he has time. It was funny seeing such a different side to the environment at the station.”

“That’s cool. Now it makes me wonder what Detective Jung would be like out of work.”

“I see him reading a book at a really fancy café.” He nodded to himself as he sucked on his fork.

“That seems pretty spot on.” The older boy chuckled.

They stayed at the bakery for a few hours just talking. Soohyun even came over to chat when there weren’t any other customers around. Before they left she gave Jungkook a card with an address and times on the back.

“Our club welcomes outside students. Feel free to join us sometime.”

“Thank you.”

Jungkook was happy to meet someone new from the community. There weren’t a lot of spaces for them other than at clubs and bars so it was nice to see that effort to connect.

“You want to go to their next meeting?” The older boy asked once they were inside the car.

“Yeah? If you go with me?”

“Of course.”

They still had some time left but without any ideas to pass the time Namjoon drove to the college. Jungkook thought they could surprise Jimin at the dance studio and his boyfriend was curious and wanted to see Jimin in his domain. The last time they walked through the college together felt like a long time ago. He was so nervous when they walked the campus and halls but still happy to be with the older boy. This time felt so different. Every time they were more alone they’d interlocked their hands. It almost felt like a game, holding hands when they were alone and then walking a few feet apart when they weren’t. They could dwell on how fucked up it was that they couldn’t walk around freely together as a couple but decided it wasn’t worth it right now. It was the game of _fool the heteros_ and they couldn’t stop laughing. Particularly because of one moment when a professor left a room and Jungkook pushed Namjoon away since they were so close. He didn’t realize his strength and catapulted his boyfriend across the hall. Namjoon couldn’t contain his laughter and Jungkook joined in. They left with the professor looking extremely puzzled.

It was pretty quiet around the dance department, most people practicing in the studios. So they walked together holding hands until Jungkook recognized the room number to the studio Jimin was inside. He knocked on the door but the music inside was too loud for his friend to hear. Jungkook opened the door and was surprised to see someone else in the room with Jimin.

Jimin was dancing along to a song with a strong beat. He mixed in beautiful fluid motions with sharp ones and it was incredible to watch. Namjoon was caught between looking at Jimin and the other person sitting on the floor watching. Jimin suddenly stopped when he saw them reflected in the mirror.

“Jungkookie! Namjoon Hyung!” The dancer turned and waved.

“Nice to see you here, Hoseok Hyung.” Namjoon said teasingly.

Hoseok spun his head around. “What? I was helping him.”

Jimin laughed as he turned the music off and grabbed a towel to wipe the sweat off his face. “A helpful Hyung.” He winked.

“No don’t do that! They’ll get the wrong idea!” Hoseok flailed his arms.

“What? You _did_ promise me a kiss if I finished the choreography perfectly did you not?” Jimin placed a hand on his hip and Jungkook and Namjoon snickered.

“Uh, um I did.” The oldest admitted.

“I’ll have to try it again to see if I can get it right.” Jimin smirked.

“I feel like we’ve interrupted you two..” Jungkook said with a laugh.

“It’s fine. You bring your boyfriend on another college tour?”

“I guess so. I didn’t show him the dance department so I figured why not.”

“Whenever I see dance studios I think back to when Hoseok Hyung went to college and basically lived in them. I’m exhausted _for_ you Jimin.” Namjoon sighed at the memory.

“I was yelling at him to not make those same mistakes I made but unfortunately it’s part of being a dancer most of the time.” Hoseok shrugged.

“Doesn’t help that I’m a perfectionist.” Jimin laughed. “So, you guys staying here or is there more to the tour?”

“Hmm. I think we’ll leave you two alone. Jimin Hyung needs to earn that kiss anyway.” Jungkook smirked.

Jimin blushed as they said goodbye. After closing the door Namjoon looked lost in thought. “Things seem to be going well with them, huh?”

“Yeah.” He smiled.

“But wow he’s amazing at dancing. I’ve only really seen Hoseok Hyung dance and he sets the bar pretty damn high. Jimin’s style is different for sure but it’s gorgeous.”

“You can’t really compare street style to contemporary dance but they go together well.”

“I’m loving seeing Hoseok Hyung flustered. He’s never dated anyone like Jimin since I’ve known him.” Namjoon chuckled.

“Hoseok Hyung, I hope you’re prepared.” Jungkook laughed.

They walked leisurely around the campus and Namjoon wanted to visit the art club room again. Jungkook figured he should stop by before classes started anyway. They made the long walk and both were in need of a heated building. Namjoon’s nose was red from the cold and he cried out in happiness when they made it inside.

“I should’ve brought a scarf, I didn’t think we’d be walking around so much.” The older boy tried to warm up his nose by cupping his hand around it.

“Sorry for suggesting to come here. My dumbass isn’t wearing a hat so at least we’re both suffering.”

“I’d rather _neither_ of us suffer.” Namjoon pouted.

“Hyung please don’t pout it makes me want to kiss you.”

Namjoon looked around them and held a finger up to the younger boy’s lips. There were people in the hall but nobody paying attention to them. He suddenly found himself being dragged underneath a staircase and pushed up against a wall. Namjoon leaned in close.

“You can kiss me _now_.” The older boy whispered in his ear.

Jungkook peaked behind his boyfriend to double check that they really were alone. After seeing that they were he grabbed the collar of Namjoon’s shirt (a navy blue sweatshirt he picked out for him to wear) and kissed him. He didn’t think either of them realized how heated the kiss would become, and so quickly. Namjoon pressed his body against him as the older boy’s tongue slipped in his mouth. It was quiet behind the staircase save for the sucking and clicking of their messy kissing. Jungkook let out a high pitched moan when Namjoon’s hand slid over his chest, grazing one of his erect nipples hidden underneath the brown sweater.

The older boy pulled away, a pop sound being made as their lips separated. “Shit. Sorry.”

“It’s ok.” He said in between breaths.

“Sorry for still being a horny mess.” His boyfriend fixed his coat as they tried to get their breathing back to normal.

“Honestly? I think I’m just as bad as you right now. If I didn’t have class I’d be dragging you outta here and demanding you to bring me back to your apartment.”

Namjoon’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he became flushed. “Fuck. Now I’m kinda wishing you’d ditch today but I don’t want to be a bad influence.” The older boy let out a heavy sigh.

“Well, there’s no need to rush. You’ve got today off miraculously so I’ll no doubt be at your apartment later tonight.” He raised an eyebrow.

“Good point..” Namjoon nodded his head.

“Come on. Let’s go before I get distracted by your lips again.”

His boyfriend chuckled but followed him out from under the staircase. A group of people were walking by and they tried their best to act natural, Namjoon doing a terrible job but he was trying. After a bit more walking they were at the art club room. Jungkook knocked on the door to see if anyone was inside.

“Come in!” A friendly voice answered.

He happily opened the door and saw Minghao sitting with a laptop near the windows. “Hey! Thought I’d drop by before classes.”

“Ooo! And you brought your man.”

“Man?” Namjoon pointed at himself.

“You’re twenty three aren’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok, we’ll say _young_ man.” Minghao shrugged.

Jungkook laughed. “You sound like a middle-aged women.”

“I _do_ have the class of a middle-aged women.” His friend nodded to himself.

“Why does that description fit so well..”

“I know myself pretty well I guess.” Minghao closed his laptop. “So, what’s going on with you two?” His friend grinned.

“Oh, just Jungkookie showing me around campus again.”

“No, no.” Minghao shook a finger at them. “I can read Jungkook like an open book. First time huh?”

Jungkook’s face went completely beet red. “W-what are you, no! A-absolutely not, we didn’t-”

“Uh huh.”

Namjoon stood in silence with his mouth gapping open until Minghao thanked him for not going too hard on the boy, Jungkook obviously being able to walk it off. The older boy was flushed and couldn’t even get a word out without stumbling over them. Namjoon ended up covering his mouth in order to stop the incomprehendable words spilling from his lips. Minghao giggled to himself when he didn’t get a reply from either of them. Finally Namjoon spoke up after the awkwardness.

“I uh, should probably get going.”

Jungkook turned to him and frowned. “Ok..”

“Text me when you’re done and I’ll pick you up.”

“I will.”

“Oh. And take this.”

Namjoon pulled off his beanie and slid it over Jungkook’s head. The older boy fixed his bangs for him then leaned in for a quick sweet kiss. Namjoon said his goodbyes after convincing him that he knew his way back and that Jungkook didn’t have to walk him. He shut the door behind his boyfriend as he left then turned on his heal and glared at Minghao with his arms crossed.

“Sorry for scaring off your boyfriend.” His friend said with little remorse.

“Yeah. Sure.” He huffed.

“You can’t blame me though! It’s so obvious!” Minghao sulked.

“But we didn’t even do it.” Jungkook sighed as he sat down.

“You did _something_.”

“It was just- just his, uh.. his fingers.” Jungkook was screaming internally at himself for saying the words out loud.

“Wait. So you’re telling me you got your cast taken off then immediately get finger fucked?”

“Oh my god I’m gonna die.” Jungkook groaned out then hid behind his arms as he layed on top of one of the tables in the room.

“You’ll be fine.” Minghao cackled.

“I can’t believe I told you. What was I thinking?” He said deliriously.

“I don’t mind taking about that stuff. Would you rather talk to Jimin or Yoohyeon about it?”

“Uh, I was thinking _nobody_?” His voice was muffled behind the sweater he was hiding behind.

“Ok, no sex talk then!” Minghao made the motion of zipping his lips shut.

There conversation stopped and Minghao quietly opened his laptop and began typing again. Jungkook eventually sat up and the embarrassment started to fade. He watched as his friend worked but strangely felt the need to talk now, about last night.

“Alright… I’ll talk.”

Minghao’s eyes lit up. “Lemme save this real quick- ok.” He set the laptop on the table to the side. “So was it your first time doing anything like that with him?” He asked curiously.

“Ah, no.” Jungkook tried to stay composed. “This was the third time but the first time it went past uh, um..”

“Blowjobs?” Minghao raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” He blushed.

“So were expectations met for you? I know a lot of guys who are expecting it to feel weird or be in a lot of pain. I mean, even with just prepping.”

“I don’t know what my expectations were really but.. it felt weird at first yeah. But he took his time and I was not expecting it to feel, um, like _that_.”

“Namjoon Hyung really knows what he’s doing huh? It can suck if you’re with someone just as inexperienced as you and you’re in a lot of pain.” Minghao pointed to himself. “Which was me back when I was in high school. My mistake was doing it with a straight guy.” His friend rolled his eyes.

“A straight guy?”

“We were both seventeen and we’re all horny and stupid at that age.” Minghao shrugged.

“I’m sorry your first time was like that.”

“I’m over it. Being with Mingyu definitely helps.” His friend smiled sweetly.

“But isn’t he inexperienced too, I mean..”

Minghao laughed. “Thank god I’m a power bottom, I basically took the reigns.”

“Power bottom?” Jungkook titled his head at the unfamiliar phrase.

“Oh Jungkook, you have so much to learn.”

He stayed in the art club room until his classes began. Little did he know he was having an impromptu class on gay slang and terms with Minghao. Yoohyeon could only help him so much and he never realized how much he still didn’t know. One thing he walked away now knowing was, he definitely _wasn’t_ a power bottom.

His classes went by slowly. It was torture and he just wanted to see Namjoon again. He wondered if it was healthy to not ever want to be away from his boyfriend. Obviously people need their space but neither seemed concerned with things like space, especially between each other. Hours passed and Jungkook’s classes finally ended. He walked around campus glad his boyfriend lent him the hat, the wind being harsher now later in the day. He texted Namjoon that he was finished and the older boy texted back immediately that he’d pick him up.

As he walked through campus making his way to the entrance he recognized two people in the distance. He snuck up on the smaller of the two and jumped on their back as he yelled. Jimin nearly toppled over with the surprise weight of Jungkook on his back.

“Jungkook! I just about shit my pants fuck you!”

He bent over in a fit of laughs, Hoseok even joining him. “Sorry I had to.” He said in between laughs.

Jimin pouted as he placed his hands on his hips. “I hate you both.“

“No you don’t, don’t lie to yourself.”

“Will you forgive me if I take you to your favorite restaurant?” Hoseok softly offered.

Jimin shifted his eyes. “Maybe..”

“You wanna come with us? We haven’t hung out in awhile.”

“I uh, I was going to eat with Namjoon Hyung.”

“Invite him. I haven’t seen much of him either.”

“You don’t have to if you were planning a night together.” Jimin added.

Jungkook thought on it and decided maybe he and Namjoon should probably socialize before locking themselves away in the older boy’s apartment every time they saw each other. He agreed and texted Namjoon to meet them at the restaurant instead. Hoseok drove them over to a expensive looking restaurant. He felt underdressed but realized all of them kind of were. Hoseok assured them that he was friends with one of the chefs and they wouldn’t be turned away for wearing their sweatshirts and jeans.

They were guided inside by a waitress and lead to the back of the restaurant. There they were sat down and given menus. Jungkook frowned as he looked at the menu realizing it was a seafood restaurant. He forgot to look for himself to order and tried to find something he thought Namjoon would like. Luckily there was steak so he figured the older boy would be fine eating that. They ordered their food when the waitress came back, Jungkook ordering for Namjoon so he wouldn’t have to wait extra long once he got there. After five minutes he saw a familiar head bobbing around at the entrance and smiled seeing the older boy trying to find him. He raised his hand to get his attention and Namjoon noticed and walked over.

"This place is nice.” His boyfriend said in awe as he sat down next to him.

“Jungkook pointed out that I invited you to a seafood restaurant though, sorry.” Hoseok laughed at himself.

“I ordered you steak if that’s ok?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Namjoon discreetly took Jungkook’s hand and held it underneath the table. They smiled at each other and Jimin raised an eyebrow at them with a knowing look but didn’t say anything. After what felt like an hour their food was brought out. Hoseok dug into his lobster, everything laughing at the face he made when he broke the shell and it’d make a loud cracking noise. Jungkook also ordered himself the steak and it was cooked perfectly. Everyone was caught off guard when Jungkook’s phone suddenly went off. Hoseok laughed after he flinched, not realizing how focused he was on his lobster. He pulled out his phone and didn’t recognize the number so he didn’t answer. But not even a moment later he phone rang again from the same number. He decided to get up and excuse himself from the table to answer the call. Rounding the corner near the bathrooms he figured was a decent place to talk on the phone.

He answered the call. “Hello?”

“Hello Jungkook.” A staticy robotic voice greeted him.

“What the hell is this? A prank call? I’m hanging u-”

“Don’t hang up if you want Kim Namjoon safe.”

“W-what?”

“We’re watching your every move. This is a warning for your own good. Don’t make things worse for yourself regarding Chae Dongwoo. People aren’t happy with how things are playing out.”

Jungkook’s body shook in fear. “I- what do you mean?”

“I shouldn’t be have to spell it out to you but you’re in the crossfire of this war. If you want to get out in one piece you need to stay uninvolved.”

“But I’m already involved.. how do I-”

“Figure it out. And if you tell the police or anyone else about this call, I’ll know.”

The call ended. Jungkook leaned against the wall for support as he tried to process what just happened. His mind was completely blank. He must’ve been gone too long because he saw Namjoon making his way over to him. He tried to pull himself together before the older boy got too close to see his destress.

“Was it an important call?” Namjoon asked.

He looked at the older boy and felt that same feeling he did in that morning. He wanted to keep Namjoon safe. He wanted to protect him. He bit his bottom lip as he shook his head.

“No." He paused."They called the wrong number.” He lied.


	37. I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A police station visit and a smashed bug

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back!!! 
> 
> I really want to thank everyone for the sweet messages you all left me as I was recovering from surgery. It was a pretty drawn out process but I'm glad I could finally finish off this chapter! 
> 
> Thank you for waiting, enjoy ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

It had been three weeks since the anonymous call. Jungkook was busy with school again and Namjoon with work. Things had been pretty eventful for their friend group, first being the surprise birthday party for Taehyung. Namjoon planned the whole thing and the birthday boy couldn’t stop crying when he found out. He rented out Taehyung's favorite restaurant and the older boy and Yoongi even did a rap battle per request. Taehyung of course joined in and ultimately won. 

Earlier in the month Handong called Jungkook to help her surprise Yoohyeon for her birthday. They ended up going to China for a week, meeting Handong’s parents. The gift being, introducing Yoohyeon to them as her girlfriend. They had gotten in fights recently after Yoohyeon introduced Handong to her family but Handong didn’t want to do the same. Over the call with him Handong confessed that she was afraid of taking such a big step, ultimately self sabotaging her happiness with Yoohyeon. Jungkook almost cried seeing Yoohyeon so emotional when Handong gave her the plane ticket.

And last but definitely not least, Hoseok and Jimin were now officially a couple. Obviously nobody was surprised, more like waiting for it to happen but, everyone was happy for them nonetheless. It was Taehyung who pointed out that everyone except for Seokjin was now in a relationship. Yoongi immediately corrected him saying Seokjin was being stupid and waiting for Hongseok to officially ask him to be his boyfriend but they technically were a couple anyways. Seokjin of course denied it but after some drinking drunk dialed Hongseok yelling _“Just fucking ask me to be your boyfriend already, you hot muscled idiot”_. The next day the entire friend group were all in relationships.

Jungkook was currently reading comments on the latest chapter of Real Me that was uploaded. The webcomic had been doing well on the site, getting thousands of hits each day and many comments of praise. The chapter he drew the first kiss for was a huge success. He finally figured out how to translate the feeling he wanted into the picture. In short, Namjoon was his muse. He channeled the feelings he had for his boyfriend before he knew him and during the time he was beginning to. It came out perfect and now he didn’t have trouble drawing any other kiss scenes since. He happily scrolled down and looked through all the positive comments. The benefit of being on a site dedicated to webtoons definitely meant these readers were already there because they’re a fan of comics. They’d still see straight girls fetishizing gay men in the comments but that sadly came with the territory.

He was waiting in the art club room to have lunch with Mingyu and Minghao now that his classes were finished. He had accidentally woken up too early and he felt himself dozing off as he layed down on one of the tables, rolling up his jacket to use as a pillow. He was startled by the sound of his phone ringing, sitting up so quickly he lost his balance and landed on the floor. He groaned in annoyance seeing his jacket now on the floor as well but pulled out his phone to see the caller. It was an unknown number again. He stared at the numbers and tried to remember if they were the same from before. Everything in him told him to ignore the call but without much more thought he picked up.

“H-hello?”

“You’ll be getting a call about the results of the DNA tests today. Remember what I told you.”

“Wait! But what exactly do you want me to do?” He asked in fear.

There was silence for a moment before he heard the voice again. “Drop the charges against him.”

The call ended without Jungkook being able to respond. It was the same robotic voice from before, cold and emotionless. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t talk to Namjoon or the police and he sat down on the table as tears started filling in his eyes. A part of him had hoped the first call was a wildly realistic dream he had but he couldn’t ignore the real danger now. He wiped at his eyes and knew he had to do what was said to him. There was no other option.

Within the next five minutes Mingyu and Minghao arrived. They went to eat at the cafeteria and he tried hard to pretend to be in a good mood. It fooled Mingyu but Minghao didn’t buy it. After they finished lunch and were headed off, Minghao pulled him aside to talk.

“What’s up?”

“Uh, I don’t know? Nothing much?”

“Jungkook you don’t need to keep up the front. What’s going on? You’re all twitchy and tense.”

Jungkook bit his lip, mad that he couldn’t do a better job at hiding his anxiety. “I’m just tired. I accidentally woke up too early.” Technically not a lie.

Minghao eyed him for a moment. He could tell his friend didn’t believe him but the prying stopped there. Minghao turned back to look at him as they walked their separate ways, it was full of concern. Jungkook hated that he was already making people worry about him. He didn’t want to think about what will happen once they meet up with the Detectives but he tried to ignore it for now. But as fate would have it, he was forced to think about it when he received a call from Detective Jung not even ten minutes later. They would be meeting with the Detective after Jungkook and Namjoon were done with work. And like the person on the phone said, it was about the results of the DNA testing.

Jungkook was a nervous wreck when he clocked in for his shift. Even the girl he didn’t talk to much asked him if he was alright after he swept the store for the third time in a row. Seokjin wasn’t in at the moment and he was grateful. He knew that he’d crack under Seokjin’s pressure to talk. But he was too terrified of what might happen if he did. The anonymous caller knew that the results were in, but how? Was someone watching him? Is Chae Dongwoo somehow leaking information to the outside? Would he and Namjoon ever truly be safe? His mind was going at a million miles per hour with question after question. He didn’t even realize how long he had been spacing out until the girl at the register said he could start cleaning up for the day, only half the books on the cart being alphabetized and put away.

After throwing away the trash and clocking out Jungkook waited outside for Namjoon. The older boy was picking him up and they’d head right over to the station. It was cold and dark, the January whether being much harsher than December’s. The cold he could handle but the darkness was unsettling. He knew he was paranoid but after getting the call again he was unsure of his safety, especially after he was told to drop the charges tonight. He tugged on his hat and looked around the streets. There were people walking around like usual but he couldn’t push away all the suspicions he had. A woman glanced at him and he froze. Was she watching him, he thought? No, no, it’s the paranoia. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground and mumbled to himself.

“I’m ok. I’m ok. I’m ok. I’m ok-”

Jungkook nearly jumped out of his skin when a car horn beeped near him. He swore to himself as he realized it was only Namjoon trying to get his attention. He sighed as he made his way to the car.

“You scared the shit outta me.” Jungkook shut the door and turned the heat up.

“Sorry. You were looking at the ground. I probably should’ve just got out to get you. Sorry.” Namjoon frowned.

“It’s fine.” He bit his bottom lip feeling stupid for making Namjoon apologize.

It was quiet for a few minutes before his boyfriend cleared his throat to speak. “Minghao texted me.”

Jungkook turned to look at the older boy confused. “I didn’t know you texted each other.”

“We don’t really. I didn’t even have his number until he texted me saying he got it from Jimin. He’s worried about you. And honestly I am too.”

“What?”

“I didn’t realize it until Minghao pointed it out but you’ve been a little off this entire month. I feel like an idiot for not noticing it, like, I’m such a shitty boyfriend.”

“Hyung, no. Don’t blame yourself. I’m the idiot. I’m just tired. That’s it.”

“But it’s more than that right? Tired of everything you have to deal with being with me? All this bullshit you shouldn’t have to deal with? Of course you’re tired.”

“Stop blaming yourself Hyung. I’ll get mad.” He said firmly.

Namjoon glanced over with an embarrassed look. “Ok.”

“It’s my fault for not taking to you. I _have_ been stressed about everything. I guess I’m still on edge. And I still don’t feel safe.”

“I’m sorry baby. But we _are_ safe, we’re even going to the station right now and things will only get better. Alright?”

Jungkook wanted to cry because he knew it wasn’t true but he couldn’t tell Namjoon that. “Alright.”

They entered the station and noticed the chaos immediately. All the staff were running around like chickens with their heads cut off. The Secretary that usually brought them to Detective Jung’s office was nowhere to be found. A man in handcuffs was laughing at image in front of them, seemingly in a fantastic mood because of it. Nobody noticed that they were there. Namjoon tried to get a man in uniform to tell them what was going on, the man only excused himself and speed walked in the direction of Detective Jung’s office. They decided to follow.

“Sir.” The man bursted into the office, Detective Jung pacing the room.

“Anything?” The Detective almost yelled.

“It’s all gone.”

“All of it?”

“We searched the building and nothing is in the labs or in evidence. I have no idea how this could have happened.”

Namjoon spoke from behind the uniformed man. “ _What_ happened?”

Everyone turned around wide eyed. The Detective’s secretary was sitting in one of the chairs holding her head in frustration. Detective Jung gulped and frowned.

“Let me speak with them privately.” The exhausted Detective said as he sat down.

The uniformed man and secretary excused themselves as Jungkook and Namjoon sat in front of Detective Jung’s desk. The man sighed heavily before looking up at them.

“All our evidence is gone.”

“What..”

“Gone!?” Namjoon shouted.

“About an hour ago I wanted to take another look at the note that was left on the body, we had a specialist prove it was Chae Dongwoo’s handwriting. But it wasn’t in evidence anymore. Neither were all the copies we had. We decided to see if anything else was taken and it was then we found out everything was gone. All the results, gone. The original samples, also gone. Everything we had against Chae Dongwoo, gone.”

The room was quiet as the Detective continued to speak.

“And the only results that weren’t taken are in his favor. None of his DNA was in your apartment, not even in the tub. He’s now saying that he never trashed the place, that he only broke in. That’s only a misdemeanor and he’d only be in jail for under a year.” The man sighed. “But we can at least get him with aggravated assault. He could go away for ten to twenty years from that.” Detective Jung looked at Jungkook with some relief.

Jungkook could feel his throat threatening to close up. He tried to speak but nothing came out. He clutched his chest as he felt his breathing begin to waver. Namjoon turned to him concerned, holding his hand tight.

“You ok?” The older boy asked quietly.

He didn’t know how to answer, so he didn’t. “Those charges..” Jungkook whispered.

“Yes?” Detective Jung heard.

“I want to drop them.” He looked down at the floor, too afraid to see their expressions.

“Did I.. hear that right? You want to drop the charges?”

“Jungkookie why would you say that?” The disappointment in Namjoon’s voice made Jungkook want to run away.

“But without it Chae Dongwoo basically wins. He’d only be put away for under a year and he’d be back on the streets. I’m sorry if it’s unprofessional of me to say but, this isn’t the right thing to do.” The Detective tried to reason.

“Jungkookie he’s right. I know it’s scary but it’s better-”

“I’m dropping them. I’m sorry- I can’t be- I have to leave.” He choked out.

Jungkook ran. He bursted out the door and left Namjoon behind. He didn’t know where to go, the chaos of all the staff at the station only making him even more on edge. Bathroom, he’d head to a bathroom to breathe. He turned the corner and saw the arrow pointing to the toilets. He pushed past the door and was elated to find that he was alone in the slightly smelly room. He stood in front of one of the sinks and turned on the faucet. He concentrated on the running water hoping he’d calm down if he didn’t let himself slip into the terrifying thoughts he knew were waiting to eat away at him. It was starting to work, his breathing steady and even. His process was disturbed by a text message. He frowned knowing it must’ve been Namjoon looking for him. He pulled out his phone to reply.

 

**Unknown Number**

sent 6:38pm

_You did the right thing._

 

Jungkook couldn’t breathe again. Tears fell down his cheeks as he shook his head. “No. No. No. No.”

The phone slipped through his hand and fell to the tiled floor with a hard crack. He felt the panic rise as he tried to breathe again. Gasping for air and mortified he dropped to the floor. The sound of him gasping echoed in the bathroom and it made Jungkook feel pitiful. How did the anonymous person already know? Was he there with him? Perhaps in this very room? He cried even harder at the horrible thought.

“Please-” He whispered as he sobbed. “Leave me alone.”

A part of him excepted to get a reply but the room was quiet save for the continual struggle of Jungkook trying to breathe. He was starting to notice a numbness in his fingertips and lips and he knew if he didn’t stop hyperventilating he’d faint. But no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t stop the panic inside him. He started to feel a little weird, his skin tingling and an overall haziness. He could feel his body staring to slump and his vision beginning to blur. Before he was met with darkness he heard Namjoon’s voice yelling out his name.

 

______________________________________

 

Jungkook woke up to a strange position. He felt his back on the floor and his legs being held up by a pair of strong hands. He blinked his eyes open and was surprised to see Detective Choi holding his legs up.

“He’s back to.” Minho said.

Namjoon’s face leaned over and the older boy looked down at him in tears. “You’re alright baby. I’m here.”

“Hyung.” He whimpered out as he reached his hand out in search of Namjoon’s hand.

His boyfriend clasped his hand tight as he held the side of his face. “You feeling a little better?”

“Yeah.” He turned to look at Minho. “You can leg go of my feet now.”

“Oh, ok.” The Detective slowly lowered the younger boy’s legs and stood up. “I’ll be right outside if you need me.” He patted Namjoon on the shoulder and left the bathroom.

“Did you.. want to talk about what happened?” The older boy asked softly.

“No. I just want to go home.”

“Alright. I’ll call Jimin first.”

“No, I want to go home.”

“Oh. Your parents?”

“No. _Home_.”

Namjoon stared at him perplexed for a moment before it dawned on him. “My place?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok. Let’s go home.”

Namjoon made his attempts to convince Jungkook to be checked at the hospital before heading back to the older boy’s apartment but, he wouldn’t have it. He didn’t want to be in such a crowded place and warned Namjoon that it could potentially set him off again. His boyfriend let it go but instead kept asking if he was ok during the ride over.

“Is the heat on too high? Are you comfortable? Maybe you should’ve layed down in the back instea-”

“Hyung. I’m fine.” It hurt him to see Namjoon so distraught.

“Shit. I’m annoying you by asking a million questions. I’m sorry. I’ll shut up.” The older boy bit his bottom lip as a way to stop himself from continuing to speak.

“You’re not annoying me. You’re just worried. Thank you for being worried about me.”

Namjoon glanced over with a small sigh. “I’ll always worry if something happens to you, Jungkookie.”

“I know. The same goes for you.”

“I know.” The older boy smiled.

All Jungkook wanted to do was jump into bed once they arrived at the apartment. He figured he needed to lay down anyway since he still felt a little weak from fainting. He made his way to the bed as Namjoon said he’d cook some ramen for them to eat. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was and happily layed in bed knowing he’d soon be served food. He cocooned himself in the fuzzy blanket Namjoon bought for him back when he was staying with the older boy. It was still just as soft as the first day he slept with it but only better now that it smelled of Namjoon.

Not long afterwards Namjoon came into the bedroom with cup noddles. Jungkook sat up and smiled. “We’re eating fancy tonight.”

“Only the best for you baby.” Namjoon smirked.

He ate his food as his boyfriend sat at the end of the bed silently watching over him. Jungkook could still see the worry in Namjoon’s eyes but he didn’t know what to do or say to assure his boyfriend that he was alright. He asked the older boy if he would be eating too, only to be told that Namjoon wasn’t really hungry. He knew it was a lie, he heard the boy’s stomach rumble after he finished off his ramen. He frowned as he set the empty container and chop sticks on the bed side table.

“You can go eat. You don’t have to keep an eye on me Hyung.”

Namjoon was quiet for a few moments as he stared down at his fidgeting hands. “What’s going on Jungkookie?”

“I’m just stressed, ya know, like what we talked about earlier.” Jungkook gulped.

“No. You’re definitely not telling me something. I’m more than worried at this point Jungkookie, I’m terrified. I’ve never seen you like that before.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m so fucked up.” He said shortly.

“That’s not what I mean. And I could easily say the same about me but you stick around, right?”

“I- um, yeah.”

“The reason I’m terrified is because you seem scared. And if I can’t keep you safe because I don’t know what’s going on, that’s a terrifying feeling.”

“But why are you the one who has to keep me safe? What about you? What if I want to keep you safe too?”

“We can both do that for each other. But we can’t keep things from each other because of that. Is that what this is related to? Keeping me safe?”

“I can’t..” He shook his head.

“You can’t what? Is that why you were so adamant on dropping the charges? Is someone threatening you Jungkookie?” Namjoon whispered the last sentence.

Jungkook’s eyes widened. “N-no.”

“Did that gang leader contact you?”

“I don’t know! Stop prying and j-just leave me alone!” Jungkook began to cry.

“You don’t know? Then someone _is_ threatening you? I can’t let this go Jungkookie, it’s too dangerous to let go.”

“But if you get h-hurt because of me I’ll never forgive myself.” He tried to stop his tears.

“Do you remember what you told me on Christmas day?“

“Uh, I don't remember..”

“I said that day was a disaster. But you said that we’re here, together. We are here together, Jungkookie. It’s scary to go through something alone but we don’t have to. I’m here.”

“It’s so scary, Hyung.”

He cried out and Namjoon immediately held him tightly in his arms. The older boy rocked his body back and forth to soothe him and after a few minutes of silence he started to calm down. He didn’t want to leave his boyfriend’s arms but pulled away to look him in the eye.

“I got an anonymous call that day we ate at the seafood restaurant with Jimin Hyung and Hoseok Hyung.” He paused. “I was told to stop being involved with Chae Dongwoo.”

“Could you recognize the voice?”

“No.” Jungkook frowned. “He was using something to camouflage his voice. It sounded robotic.”

“Did he tell you anything else?”

“After telling me to basically back off he told me to tell nobody or you’ll be hurt.“

“So you’ve been keeping this a secret this whole time?”

“I’m sorry.” Jungkook said disappointed in himself.

“Don’t be sorry. I just can’t believe you’ve been baring this all on your on for a month. I’m sorry you had to go through that. But not anymore ok?” The older boy placed his hands on Jungkook’s.

He looked up and was met with a tender gaze from Namjoon. He smiled softly at the older boy finally feeling some assurance. “Yeah.”

There was a sudden notification sound from a phone that made the both of them flinch. Namjoon reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cracked phone.

“You dropped this and the screen got cracked. It apparently still works though.” Namjoon laughed.

“Don’t tell me it’s Jimin Hyung yelling at me because I’m not back yet.”

“Jimin’s rage when you don’t contact him if you don’t plan on coming back to the apartment.. prepare yourself.” The older boy handed the phone over.

Jungkook let out a long sigh as he went to his messages. He stared at his inbox seeing the unread message displayed but it wasn’t Jimin who texted him.

 

**Unknown Number**

sent 7:47pm

_I told you not to tell anyone. You’ll now pay the consequences._

_**https://soundcloud.com/user-821194037/the-sound-of-something-rotten** _

 

“What? Was he that mad?” Namjoon chuckled. “Here, let me text him saying I’m sorry.” The older boy grabbed the phone out of his hand.

Jungkook sat frozen. “It’s n-not Jimin Hyung.”

“Wait. Is this..” Namjoon became quiet. “Is this the person?”

He clenched his fists as he nodded in reply. “I don’t know how- how did he know? H-how..” Jungkook felt himself slipping, becoming overwhelmed with panic.

Namjoon glared at the phone he held in his hand. After a moment he looked up to the younger boy with his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m here.” The older boy whispered. “Shh.” He placed his index finger over his lips then turned to open the drawer in his bedside table. Namjoon pulled out a small notepad and a pen. He began to scribble something on the first page then silently handed it over to Jungkook.

 

_I think my place must be bugged. How else could someone know you told me? We need to find it and destroy it. We shouldn’t talk out loud until then._

 

Jungkook read the note in shock. Namjoon’s place? Bugged? And for how long? He took the pen from his boyfriend and wrote back.

 

_But what about this link he sent? Do we not click on it?_

 

Namjoon quickly wrote out a reply.

 

_We probably should. We need to see what he’s trying to do. It’s from SoundCloud so I’ll get my earbuds._

 

The older boy handed Jungkook an earbud as he plugged it into the phone. Neither of them knew what to expect. It was an audio but of what? A message to them perhaps? But why not call him like the anonymous person did before? Jungkook held his breath as Namjoon clicked on the link. They were brought to the audio titled: **the sound of something rotten**. It immediately started to play.

 

_“Shit.”_

_“Baby? Could you grab that bag for me?“_

 

Jungkook and Namjoon looked at each other in horror.

 

_“And one more thing. Can you spread your legs for m-”_

 

Jungkook grabbed the phone and paused the audio. He threw the phone down on the bed as he stood up and backed away. Namjoon stood up with him and looked at him in shock.

“That was _us_.” Jungkook covered his face to hide the tears.

“How..” The older boy glared as he angrily picked up the phone. “ _Fuck_. People are leaving comments.”

“What?” Jungkook mumbled out.

“Fuck.” Namjoon’s voice was low and furious.

He walked back over and looked at the screen as Namjoon scrolled down.

 

 **TTcheery** commented

_So this is Jungkook from the art club right? Who is the other person in this?_

 

 **JiJoy** commented

_Is everyone getting the same text giving out this link? Please report this_

 

 **GotKing** commented

_lolololol did his sex tape get leaked?_

 

 **JammerHyo** commented

_wtf is this gay shit :/_

 

 **MissMessage** commented

_it really lives up to the title lol_

 

 **BestWoo** commented

_this is seriously disgusting I can’t believe I have a class with this homo_

 

Jungkook didn’t understand. People from his college were seeing this? He somehow felt hallow as he took the phone back and continued to scroll. It didn’t seem real, even reading the awful comments. But before he could point out the one about someone asking if other people were getting the same text, Namjoon’s phone began ringing. A part of Jungkook was scared his boyfriend would be next to receive a call from the anonymous person but was relieved when he saw Hoseok’s name across the screen.

“Hello?” Namjoon answered the call.

He could faintly hear Hoseok’s voice but couldn’t really make it out what was being said. The older boy frowned deeply as he listened to his friend speaking at a rapid speed.

“Ok. Tell the others.” Namjoon sighed then hung up.

“What did he say?”

“He.. Jimin got a text saying that Jeon Jungkook released an original song with a link to SoundCloud. Jimin was so furious and crying so hard Hoseok made this call for him but, it seemed like a mass text was sent to the entire student body at the college you go to.” Namjoon looked at him sadly. “They’re passing it along for everyone to report it so it’ll get taken down but..shit. I’m so sorry.”

Jungkook was dumbfounded. Even with it being taken down, the damage was already done. This was the death of his social life. A good college experience was now being taken from him, everything has changed. It’s one thing to be casually out like Minghao but it’s in an entirely different playing field when something so private was shared with people he’s never even met before. He looked down at his phone as he got notifications of texts from Minghao and Mingyu. He couldn’t even look at them, it hurt too much. He sat back down on the bed and blankly stared at the floor.

“Jungkookie?”

He looked up and was surprised to see Namjoon crying. He felt guilty. “Hyung. I’m sorry this affected you too.”

The older boy wiped at his tears. “I don’t give a shit what nasty things people might say about me but if that’s directed towards you? I can’t handle that. But I don’t know what to do to make this better.” Namjoon glanced over to the notepad they abandoned after the text. “That fucker recorded us. You hear me asshole?” Namjoon paced around. “You recording us now too?!” He yelled to the room.

“Hyung. Please.”

“I’m gonna find that bug and smash it into pieces.”

Jungkook watched as the older boy frantically searched the room. He pulled the frames off the wall and moved everything on his desk and shelves. He picked up every single object and moved it in his hands desperately trying to find the bug. Namjoon got to his closet and began throwing pieces of clothing to the floor. The older boy looked possessed. Jungkook couldn’t get his attention even after repeatedly calling his name. He flinched when Namjoon angrily searched the lamp beside the bed but it ended up falling off the bedside table. It fell to the ground and the lightbulb broke, the older boy swearing at the mess. But it was ignored as Namjoon left to search the rest of the apartment. In the distance he heard furniture being moved and possibly thrown. More things falling, more things breaking.

It went on and on until the apartment was finally quiet. Jungkook cautiously stepped off the bed and around the broken glass and made his way to the living room. Everything in the room was on it’s side or moved, it looked like a tornado had come through. Namjoon was panting at the kitchen table exhausted from the search. The older boy had his head down, ashamed he found nothing after all his efforts. Jungkook stood and couldn’t bare it. What other way could someone track them? There had to be something that they didn’t think of. He thought of all the stupid comics and TV shows he watched about crime hoping for some kind of inspiration. And then it hit him.

“Hyung. My phone.”

Namjoon raised his head. “Your phone?”

Jungkook turned on his heel and ran to fetch his phone that was left on the bed. He accidentally stepped on some glass but didn’t let it stop his momentum. He bolted back to the kitchen and placed it on the table.

“I remember reading a webtoon and a character used spy software on a phone to record a conversation.”

“So what do we do?”

“Smash it.”

“What, _really_?”

“Yeah. I’d need to get a new one anyway because of the cracked screen.”

“I’ll get my hammer.”

Namjoon fetched the hammer he had stored in the closet near the front door. They both stood and stared at the phone for a moment before the older boy turned waiting for the ok from him. Jungkook gave him a nod and Namjoon raised his hammer. It was loud when it hit the phone. It took a few hits before it really began to crack and for the screen to go black. Namjoon continued until black shards of the screen flew off the now very dead phone. The older boy set the hammer down on the table and smiled in accomplishment. Jungkook slid his hand into Namjoon’s and they looked at the destroyed phone satisfied.

The older boy did exactly what he said he would when he found the bug. It was smashed into pieces.


	38. Don't Mind Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thorough search and a trip to the studio

Namjoon wanted the phone out of the apartment even though it was destroyed beyond repair. The older boy threw it away in the trash and excused himself with the bag outside. Jungkook sat and waited at the table. The hammer still sat on the table, he took it in his hands and held it. His mind drifted off and he grew anxious at the unknown they were heading into. He tightly held the handle of the hammer and had at terrifying image of Namjoon being snuck up on and struck on the head. It wasn’t paranoia, it was something that could very well happen and it made Jungkook want to hide Namjoon away from the outside world. But he couldn’t. So, he was at a loss of what to do.

His boyfriend returned and joined him at the table, lingering near a chair not calm enough to sit down just yet. Namjoon’s eyes were still full of rage but he could tell the older boy was trying to suppress it.

“I’m sorry for reacting like that and scaring you. It was shitty of me.”

“I understand, Hyung. But now my foot is bleeding because I stepped on some glass.” He said with a light-hearted laugh.

“You’re hurt?” Namjoon scrambled to the floor to look at the younger boy’s foot.

“It’s not that bad. I’ll be fine.”

“Jungkookie you’ve got glass in your foot. Dammit. I’ll get the first aid kit and use some tweezers to pull it out.”

He watched as Namjoon bolted to the closet he grabbed the hammer from previously and after a bit of searching the older boy came back with a medium sized box. “Seokjin Hyung put this together for me as a gift when I moved in.” He opened the custom made first aid kit and inside was more than enough supplies for the job needed at hand.

“He’s pretty good at practical gifts huh?” Jungkook smiled as his boyfriend pulled out the alcohol to disinfect the small wound.

“Yes, the condoms and lube being a real winner.” Namjoon snickered.

The older boy got the glass out after a little effort and cleaned the wound before putting on a cute band-aid. Jungkook smiled seeing his boyfriend so determined putting the band-aid on, making sure the little cartoon character’s face wasn’t crinkling but smooth against his skin. Namjoon looked up with a smile and Jungkook felt the overwhelming urge to kiss him, so he did. He pulled the older boy’s face up to him and kissed him gently. Namjoon’s knees were on the floor and his hands naturally sat on Jungkook’s lap, softly caressing the younger boy’s thighs as the kiss deepened. The older boy licked into his mouth but Jungkook pulled away when he realized something.

“I want to check one last time around the apartment, for bugs. If.. that’s ok.”

“Of course. Probably better to do calmly unlike how I did.”

For the next forty minutes they searched the apartment thoroughly. Jungkook even looked up online how to best search for audio and video bugs. During the search they slowly put the apartment back together, furniture now upright and frames back on the wall. They both thought they could safely say there weren’t any bugs planted in the apartment but it almost confused them that there weren’t.

“Why just my phone? Wouldn’t it make sense to go all out if he wants to spy on us?” Jungkook thought out loud.

“Maybe there’s no rhyme or reason with this guy? Or maybe it was too complicated to bug the apartment.” Namjoon shrugged.

“What do we do now?” He asked as he sat on the sofa.

“This guy said not to tell the police but what else do we do? Detective Choi and Detective Jung are the only ones I trust to be honest. They are the only ones who can really help us.”

“But.. what if the anonymous person finds out?”

“We got rid of the phone which seemed to be was his only way of knowing things. I think we’re ok.” Namjoon said confidently.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

The older boy pulled out his phone when he got a text. “Hoseok Hyung said the audio on SoundCloud was taken down.”

“That’s a relief but,” He paused. “I can’t go back tomorrow.”

Namjoon frowned as he walked over and sat down with the younger boy. “You can come to work with me tomorrow.”

“No it’s alright. I don’t want to distract you.”

“I’d rather you come with me then be alone all day to be honest. Which is another thing I wanted to talk about..” Namjoon trailed off.

“What is it?”

“I know I’m going to be constantly paranoid about your safety so I was thinking we might stay together for awhile again? If that’s something you wouldn’t mind?”

“I was thinking about that too, worrying about your safety. I think it’s a good idea but I’ll talk about it with Jimin Hyung this time since last time I just sprung it on him.”

“Yeah, definitely talk with him first.” Namjoon’s phone dinged again, another text. “Speaking of Jimin, he’s wondering why you’re not texting him back. We should probably fill everybody in.”

The older boy ended up calling Hoseok and explained everything. Their friend relayed the information to the rest of the friend group and Jimin said he’d be coming over tomorrow to talk. Namjoon hung up and they both sat restless on the sofa. His body was tired but he was worried he wouldn’t sleep at all tonight. It was only ten minutes past nine in the evening but Jungkook wished the time would go by quicker.

“After we go to the police station we should get you a new phone. Jimin will go berserk if he can’t get ahold of you.”

Jungkook nodded in response. “Ah. I didn’t really think about it but, I lost some pictures and videos. I’m only disappointed because they were of you.”

“I’ll let you take all the pictures and videos of me you want tomorrow.”

“Hm. I’m suddenly not sad anymore.” He smiled and Namjoon grined back at him.

The older boy’s stomach growled after some silence and Jungkook demanded that he ate dinner. Namjoon slurped on some ramen noddles as he brought his backpack into the living room and worked on some assignments. His boyfriend helped him with a few things he was having trouble on, a wonderful distraction from his previous worrying. He had never actually sat down with Namjoon as he was working on his assignments before, figuring he’d never be able to focus. Oddly it was the opposite. Namjoon was a natural when it came to teaching and Jungkook was extremely surprised by how much he got done because of it. They ended up working for a couple hours and they stopped when Jungkook kept yawning every five minutes.

Namjoon got the bed ready as he changed into pajamas. It was extra cold that night, Jungkook tempted to wear a sweatshirt over his long sleeve pajama shirt. But he’d much rather complain about the cold and have Namjoon cuddle him instead. Without even having to complain about the cold the older boy pulled him down into bed, pulling up the blankets and wrapping his arms around him. Namjoon kissed his forehead before nuzzling closer to him. The act was extremely adorable and Jungkook kissed the older boy’s nose before letting sleep consume him.

 

______________________________________

 

Jungkook jerked awake to the sound of Namjoon’s alarm. His boyfriend rubbed at his eyes as he got out of bed to turn the alarm off. He layed in bed feeling exhausted. He had actually had a deep sleep but everything in him begged him to go right back to sleep. He glanced up and saw Namjoon’s sleepy smile and was greeted with a cute _“good morning”_. There was no way he’d sleep the day away after seeing that. He jumped out of bed and attacked his boyfriend with a hug. They both melted into the hug and stood wrapped in each other’s arms until Namjoon noticed Jungkook closing his eyes.

“Don’t fall asleep. You can take a nap later in the studio.”

“I’m going to need some coffee then.”

“Let’s go to the kitchen.”

Namjoon made the younger boy his coffee and they ate a small breakfast, both of them too nervous to eat a lot. Their first stop was the police station and Namjoon tried his best to assure Jungkook that everything would be ok. They bundled up for the harsh winds (hats _and_ scarves) and made their way out. He knew the older boy was only nervous because _he_ was. Namjoon took out a CD and placed it in the slot. Jungkook saw the case and smiled, it was the mix CD he made for him.

“You still listen to it?” He asked bashful.

“Yes I do. Usually when I’m driving to and from work.”

“Seriously? That much?”

“Mhm.” Namjoon smiled wide. “Makes me feel like you’re kind of with me. I guess I don’t necessarily have to play it now that you are. Force of habit.”

Jungkook blushed.“It’s a little embarrassing but basically all the songs are about unrequited love. You had me so certain that you didn’t like me. Ya know, calling me your little brother.”

“I can’t believe I pulled that one on you. I knew I liked you by then but was too afraid to act on it.“

“I mean, I wasn’t any better if I think about it. I liked you from afar for so long. It was only because of Seokjin Hyung and Yoongi Hyung that I questioned your signals.”

“It’s both a blessing and a curse how involved they are in my love life.” Namjoon sighed with a laugh.

Jungkook was so deep in conversation he hadn’t noticed when they arrived at the police station. He knew his boyfriend distracted him with conversation and he was grateful. But unfortunately the dread was back as they got out of the car. They didn’t call ahead of time to say they were coming to see the Detective. Both feeling better about an unannounced visit. They entered the building and Jungkook was relieved to see much less chaos this time around. A lot of the staff were sipping on their coffee and the atmosphere was pretty calm. Mornings seemed to be that way at the station. Detective Jung’s secretary was surprised to see them as they walked over to the office.

“Oh, did I miss your call? Or did Detective Jung suddenly have you come in?” She asked politely.

“We decided to come in today. Is Detective Jung in?”

“He’ll be heading out soon but you should be able to speak with him quickly before he does.” The Secretary was about to call the Detective but the man himself opened the door. He looked at both Namjoon and Jungkook like he knew they were coming. The Detective opened the door wide and gestured for them to walk inside.

“Come inside.”

Namjoon lead the younger boy inside and Detective Jung shut the door. They all sat down and Jungkook looked at the man and wondered why he wasn’t phased by the visit.

“Let’s talk about yesterday. I want to apologize for overstepping with my opinion. Detective Choi was really upset about it, especially since he and Namjoon found you unconscious in the bathroom. It wasn’t my place to tell you what to do.” The Detective frowned.

“Detective Jung, you don’t have to apologize. You were right. And you weren’t the cause of me fainting…”

“We came today to tell you what really happened.” Namjoon said as he placed a hand on Jungkook’s knee.

The Detective’s expression changed and he looked at the both of them with serious eyes. “I’m listening.”

“About a month ago I got an anonymous call. They told me not to tell anyone about it, otherwise Namjoon would get hurt.” Jungkook paused. “I was told to stop being involved with Chae Dongwoo. Yesterday I got another call and was told to drop the charges.”

Detective Jung slowly nodded his head. “Did something happen for you to tell me now?”

“The thing is, the person knew that the DNA results were in before we got your call to come in. And right after I told you I was dropping the charges I got a text saying I did the right thing.“

“Are.. you accusing me of being this anonymous caller?” The Detective asked calmly.

Jungkook held his hands up shaking his head. “No! Definitely not! You and Detective Choi are the only ones we trust.”

“Ah, that’s good then.” The Detective seemed relieved. “This person could perhaps be connected to our lost evidence. We could try to track that text and monitor the next time he calls you.”

“Ah, well..” Namjoon cleared his throat. “We destroyed the phone.”

“I told Namjoon everything last night and immediately got a text saying I had to pay the consequences. We figured out he had been spying on us, releasing an audio of us online. We searched the apartment for bugs but I realized it had to be my phone.”

“Why didn’t you bring it in instead? We could have helped.”

“It was in the moment and to be honest really scary and overwhelming. We knew he was spying on us and that meant he knew that _we_ knew. A bit confusing but..”

“No, I understand.” Detective Jung twirled a pen in his hand.

“What do we do now?” Namjoon bit his lip.

“I will have your apartment checked for bugs,” The Detective looked to Jungkook. “Yours as well.”

“Oh. I didn’t think of that.”

“Your phone should be checked as well. May I have a look?”

“Ah, sure.” Namjoon took out his phone and handed it over.

The room became quiet as the Detective looked through his boyfriend’s phone. Jungkook watched the man’s face to see if he could read his expression but it proved to be harder than he thought it’d be. After a few minutes Detective Jung slowly set the phone on his desk and scribbled on a piece of paper. It was handed over to Namjoon and Jungkook leaned over to read it.

 

_This phone is tapped. I wanted to ask if there is anything important on this phone before I remove the jailbreak._

 

Namjoon and Jungkook looked at each other wide eyed. His heart beat fast and he felt sick. The older boy was silent for a moment then handed back the piece of paper after writing _“go ahead”_. It was quiet again after Detective Jung picked up the phone tapping away. Jungkook tried to calm down but continued to think of the false peace they had last night. It made him so angry but very terrified. They waited and waited and it was hard not to ask questions when he was do desperate for answers.

“Ok.” Detective Jung set the phone down. “It’s removed.” He sighed.

“How did…” Jungkook couldn’t even form a sentence.

“iPhones are jailbroken when there is spy software. I updated the iOS and that gets rid of the software. Your phone is safe to use again.” He handed the phone to Namjoon.

“So now they know we came to the police…” Jungkook said in horror.

“Because we have no proof that you were threatened by this anonymous caller I’m not authorized to have one of our men with you. But,” The Detective paused. “Detective Choi is doing paperwork today, I’ll have him stay with you today.”

“Really?”

“He’s the only one who I could get away with sending out. The Captain never pays him any mind, he probably should being that he’s one of the best Detectives here.”

“Thank you so much.” Namjoon stood up to bow properly, Jungkook following suit.

“I’m sorry that that’s all I can do. But before you leave I have to ask, are you pressing the charges against Chae Dongwoo?”

“Yes, I am.” Jungkook answered immediately.

Detective Jung nodded with a faint smile. “Good.”

They were told to wait in the lobby as Detective Choi was informed of his change of scenery for the day. Detective Jung also said he’d have men search their apartments while they were out, asking Namjoon and Jungkook permission to get access from their landlords. Jungkook warned Jimin via text that the police were paying a visit to their place but not to be startled. After waiting in the lobby for almost ten minutes Minho walked up with a big smile as he approached them.

“My paperwork is getting taken care of and I get to hang out at a music studio? I’ll take it.”

“And here I thought we were disturbing your day.” Jungkook laughed.

“Not mine necessarily, Detective Jung is taking on my paperwork as we speak. I told him I could bring it along to work on but he didn’t want me distracted.”

“Ok, now I feel bad again.” He frowned.

“Don’t worry about it, he’ll bulldoze over it in no time.”

Minho had to grab a sweatshirt to change into, stating that he needed to go into his undercover look which was a bit more casual. The Detective followed Namjoon in his own car and the older boy lead the way to the company. It was quiet in the car, Namjoon looking extremely focused as he drove. Jungkook didn’t know if he should talk about an unrelated topic or if that’d make it worse. As he was trying to figure out what to say Namjoon spoke.

“I feel really stupid right now. I.. I got played, my phone being tapped and yet I told you everything would be ok..” His boyfriend sighed. “It’s so frustrating.”

“I feel the same way, Hyung. I’m just glad Minho Hyung is here otherwise I’d be pretty terrified right now.”

“Yeah but, we don’t know what this anonymous person is capable of and it makes me feel so damn powerless.”

“Yeah..”

“Shit. I’m making it worse aren’t I? I’m sorry for being so pessimistic right now.”

“We’ll be ok. Like you said, because we’re together.”

Namjoon glanced over with a smile. “That’s right.”

When they arrived at the company they were surprised to see Yoongi outside waiting for them. Namjoon scoffed as he got out of the car. “Min Yoongi? Waiting outside in the cold for me?”

Yoongi heard him in the distance and scoffed. “I didn’t do it for you, I did it for Jungkook.”

“Aw. That’s sweet.” The younger boy cooed.

Minho quickly introduced himself to Yoongi and he was filled in on Namjoon’s phone also being bugged. Their friend looked at Minho in anger. “I’m gonna beat the fucker up who did this to you guys.” Yoongi spat out.

Minho looked taken aback by the aggressive statement for a moment. “Ah, probably not a good idea.” The Detective laughed.

“Yeah, for _him_. I’ll break the fucker’s arms if I have to.” Yoongi pointed a finger in Minho’s face.

Detective Choi took a step back with his hands up. “Uh-”

“Stop scaring him.” Namjoon hit his friend on the shoulder.

“Oh yeah, I forgot, you’re a Detective.”

“He literally just introduced himself how could you already forget?” Namjoon deadpanned.

“Waiting out here in the cold damaged my brain cells I don’t know.”

Jungkook giggled as his boyfriend rolled his eyes. “We should go inside then.” He suggested.

Jungkook and Minho signed in as guests and Yoongi left to fetch some coffee. A lot of people greeted Namjoon as they walked through the building, some felt genuine while others felt forced. Jungkook looked around as they walked, feeling like he was on a field trip. He was so focused on his sightseeing that he didn’t realize Namjoon had stopped at a door and bumped into the older boy’s back.

“Sorry Hyung.” He said embarrassed.

Namjoon chuckled. “In a hurry or just distracted?”

“I’ve never been at a place like this so..” Jungkook pouted.

“Ok I won’t tease you.” The older boy’s dimples showed as he smiled. “Let’s go inside the studio.”

Namjoon unlocked the door and went inside, turning on the lights and gesturing for them to come in. The studio was a lot bigger than the one Namjoon and Yoongi rented out, there was even a decent sized couch and table. Jungkook turned and saw the look of awe from Minho and couldn’t help but smile.

“This is cool.” The Detective said like a child.

“This studio is so nice, do you even use the other one?” Jungkook asked curiously.

“I was actually talking about that recently with Yoongi Hyung… it’s kinda a waste of money now. We barely go there anymore.”

“Do they let you work on personal stuff?” Minho sat down on the couch.

“That’s the dilemma. We’re so busy we barely get time for that. It’s a little annoying because my mixtape is on hold at the moment.”

“Mixtape?” The Detective sat on the edge of the cushion. “Could you play me something of yours sometime, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah, sure.” Namjoon smiled. “I can play you something real quick before I start working on another track.”

The older boy took out a messenger bag he had underneath the table, pulling out his laptop. Jungkook nearly choked on his saliva seeing the background picture. “Hyung, really?” He glanced over at Minho to see if he had a reaction to the picture.

“ _What_? I love this picture.” The older boy forced a frown.

It was the picture of them kissing and after a moment Jungkook finally saw a look of realization on the Detective’s face.

“Wait..” Minho narrowed his eyes. “Are you two, uh, together?”

“Yes.” Namjoon quickly answered.

“Oh. I had no idea.” Detective Choi rubbed his chin with his thumb.

Jungkook was happy to see Minho wasn’t disgusted by it, just surprised. “I’m pretty sure Namjoon Hyung called me baby in front of you before.”

“Ah… that makes a lot of sense now. I just thought it was your nickname or something.”

“You really thought my nickname was baby?” Jungkook giggled.

“This makes me seem like a bad Detective now, huh?”

“I guess your specialty is crime?” Namjoon said with a shrug.

“Hm. It seems that I can’t be a love Detective.” Minho faked a sob.

Everyone laughed but soon Namjoon was reminded about sharing one of his tracks. The older boy played a verse on a song Jungkook hadn’t even heard before. Both him and Minho heavily praised it and Namjoon blushed as he tried to except the compliments. Yoongi entered the studio not long after sipping on some coffee but holding a few snacks to his chest. Without a word he set the bags of goodies in front of Jungkook and silently went to sit in his chair. Namjoon turned around and saw the snacks and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re treating my boyfriend so well, what’s up with that?”

“TaeTae’s orders. I was told to take care of both of you.”

“What about me then?” Namjoon folded his arms pretending to be mad.

“If Jungkook is being taken care then that’s basically taking care of you. I know how you are.” Yoongi said smoothly.

Namjoon’s face became beet red. “Ah-uh.. ”

Jungkook laughed at his flustered boyfriend, Minho even joining in. But their chit chat had to come to an end, Yoongi and Namjoon needing to start their work. At first neither of them used headphones, both Jungkook and Minho wanting to hear the process for themselves. After an hour of the same few chords being repeated he requested them to wear the headphones. Jungkook and Minho ended up having deep conversations about photography throughout the next couple hours. It was fun talking to someone with more experience and the Detective offered his help if the younger boy needed it in the future.

Lunch break came before they knew it. Yoongi demanded food from his favorite Korean restaurant. Nobody protested so they called and ordered for the food to be delivered. After stuffing themselves it was back to work for the two producers. Minho sat on his phone and Jungkook was tempted to nap but figured he should wait until he digested his food. Wanting to go on the internet himself, he realized they never went to get him a new phone. He couldn’t really complain because of the situation but instead went and asked to borrow Namjoon’s phone. The older boy handed it over without hesitation and went right back to work. He didn’t sit back down immediately. He stood behind his boyfriend and was hit with a wave of pride. He glanced at Yoongi who wore glasses as he worked and was proud of him too. He only knew the things he was told of their struggle to get where they are now. And even though he wasn’t there with them for the majority of it, he was happy he could see the pay off. He took a couple pictures of his boyfriend deep in work to savor what he was feeling at the moment. He sneakily took one of Yoongi as well, planning to send it to Taehyung.

The next hour he texted Jimin and Taehyung in between watching videos on YouTube. Jimin told him that he was going to collect anything he missed from his professors, Jungkook sending an enormous amount of emojis in an attempt to show his gratitude. He sent Taehyung the picture of Yoongi and he was sent back a screenshot of Taehyung’s phone background being changed to the picture. Minho later informed them that he got confirmation that their apartments were bug free. Everyone in the room was relieved.

Jungkook continued texting for awhile but said his goodbyes to his friends when he was beginning to feel tired and decided to take a nap. Luckily the couch was big enough for him to lay down somewhat comfortably. He used his coat as a blanket and fell asleep once he found the most comfortable position.

Jungkook was woken up by a lot of loud voices. He peaked his eyes open and saw a few unfamiliar faces huddled around Namjoon and Yoongi. He glanced up and saw Minho still silently on his phone but tried to get the Detective’s attention to ask who they were. He ended up poking Minho in the leg with his foot, the Detective lowly mouthing _“ow”_ as he turned to look at him.

“Sorry.” He whispered. “But, who are they?” He motioned his head towards the strangers.

“I think they’re other producers checking on the progress.” Minho whispered back.

He silently nodded his head and turned to look at the strangers again. Jungkook was surprised to see a man already looking at him and the sour expression made him feel uncomfortable. The man kept eye contact with him for much longer than he expected, making Jungkook anxious. Luckily the man was asked something and had to join the conversation with the rest of the presumed producers. Ten or so minutes later the people left and Jungkook finally sat back up on the couch.

“That guy was glaring at you.” Minho pointed out.

Namjoon spun around at the comment. “What? At Jungkookie?”

“Yeah, the one with the blue jacket on.”

“Ah… _him_.” Namjoon grimaced.

“Who is he?” Jungkook asked.

“Our beloved asshole producer. He must’ve recognized your face from when I previously had you as a background picture on my work desktop computer.”

“He looked at me like he knew me, hated me even. Makes sense.”

“He can suck my ass.” Yoongi hissed.

“Do you really want a homophobe sucking your ass?”

“My metaphorical ass.”

“Gotta love a good metaphorical ass sucking.”

“Wait. There’s a hetero in the room. Let’s not talk about sucking my ass.”

“Don’t mind me.” Minho said unbothered.

“Hm. I like this guy.” Yoongi gave Minho a thumbs up and the Detective gave him one back in return.

The evening continued on and the end of the work day was coming up within the next half hour. Minho said he’d be outside the studio door to stretch his legs and try to get some feeling back in his lower back from sitting so long. Jungkook was going to join him but Namjoon’s phone dinged, alerting him of a new text. He clicked on the notification and saw it was from Jimin.

 

**Jimin**

sent 6:08pm

_Jungkookie an article about Namjoon was published and it’s not good_

 

Jungkook frantically texted back asking for details and he was sent a link.

 

**The Result Of The Famous Seoul Gang Hunt In 1994**

_A lot of people may recall the heavily covered story of the lawyer Kim Younghee who’s client was a past gang member. The tragic news of the physical assault and rape was a shock to the country but did anyone know what happened to the baby? After 23 years we finally learn that the baby is alive and well but hiding his past and his name is Kim Namjoon._

**_Read More..._ **

 

Jungkook didn’t want to believe it. He scrolled down and saw everything Namjoon had tried so hard to keep hidden, written out in paragraph after paragraph. They talked about finding out his mother had mental health problems and visited hospitals, where she ultimately died in. He wanted to cry. The article stated their attempts to interview the clinics Kim Younghee had stayed at but they were refused. They also stated that they tried to contact the widowed husband but never got a call back. They turned the fact that nobody wanted to talk about the matter into that it must mean they’re hiding something. The last line reading;

 

_What are they hiding? Could this mean something even more dangerous lays beneath the surface? The secret of Kim Younghee’s baby’s whereabouts could just be the beginning of the what happened in 1994, not just the result. A mystery still in the works of being unfolded._

 

Yoongi had stood up after turning off his computer and noticed the tense look on the younger boy’s face. “What’s with that face?”

He flinched forgetting he was still in the room with Yoongi and Namjoon. “Uh- I-” His eyes began to water.

Yoongi looked at him concerned. “Are you alright?”

Namjoon spun around in his chair at the question. “Jungkookie?”

Jungkook clutched the phone to his chest unable to answer. “I, don’t - I-”

His boyfriend immediately got out of his chair and walked over to Jungkook. “Baby? What’s wrong?” Namjoon gently rubbed the younger boy’s arms.

Jungkook didn’t know how to tell him so he just handed over the phone. He watched the confusion on the older boy’s face morph into shock. Namjoon didn’t speak and Yoongi began questioning him. “Namjoon, what is it?”

The older boy limply handed the phone over and in a trance like state walked back to his chair and sat down.

It didn’t take long for Yoongi to react to the article. “Fuck. This is- _shit_.”

Jungkook was scared. Not just by the release of information but by Namjoon’s reaction. His boyfriend sat in his chair mute and he didn’t know what to do. But Detective Choi was there he remembered, he could help. Jungkook bolted towards the door and flung it open. Minho was in mid-stretch when he saw him.

“Something bad happened.”

Detective Choi eye’s widened and Jungkook pulled him back into the studio. Yoongi handed the phone to Minho and he read through the article. Minho shook his head as he set the phone down on the table.

“I’m sorry you’re going through this. This is definitely the anonymous person.” The Detective paused. “But the good thing is we now see a pattern. He’s attacking the both of you through the internet, attacking your social life and status.”

“Wait. An article was written before, leaking private information about Namjoon. He didn’t report it though.” Yoongi stated.

“Why didn’t you report it? It very well could have been this anonymous person’s doing.” Minho furrowed his eyebrows with a small frown.

“I didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire.” Namjoon said lowly.

“Well, we can help this time. I’ll head back to the station and contact the website that posted this. And I think you should sue. This is an invasion of privacy and you have rights.”

“Yeah, legal action needs to be taken.” Yoongi agreed.

“I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll let myself out then. I’ll contact you with any information I get.”

Jungkook thanked the Detective as the man left. But now the room was quiet again and Yoongi and Jungkook shared a worried look.

“Hey, Namjoon.” Yoongi tried to get Namjoon's attention.

“Hm?”

“Let’s go. We’re done for today. Go home and relax.”

“I’m gonna stay here for awhile. I need to be alone for a bit.” Namjoon paused. “Could you drive him home?”

Yoongi glanced over at him with an apologetic look. “Ok. I’ll drive him home.”

Jungkook wanted to stay with the older boy and comfort him but he knew that wasn’t what Namjoon wanted right now. “I’ll be at your apartment.”

“Alright.”

He was glad Namjoon didn’t tell him to go back to his own apartment. He wanted to wait for the older boy to come home. He wanted to be there when he was ready to be comforted. It was hard to leave but Yoongi also looked unsettled by leaving his friend alone. As Jungkook got in the car and they drove away it felt like he left a part of himself in that studio.


	39. I'll Never Leave You Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Restless waiting and becoming one

The ride over was quiet. Jungkook could feel how tense Yoongi was but didn’t know how to talk to him about it. Yoongi had known Namjoon so long and had gone through so much together with him so he knew his older friend was hurting as well. He glanced over and saw the scowl on Yoongi’s face and frowned at the sight. Minutes later they arrived at Namjoon’s apartment complex. Jungkook was expecting him to drop him off but was surprised when Yoongi parked and turned the engine off.

“Yoongi Hyung..?”

“He’s reverting back to his old habit of pushing people away when he’s hurt.”

“I.. I remember him telling me how he’d do that.”

“It felt like it was back to the old times, when we were struggling to get by. It really caught me off guard because he’s gotten better about it now.”

“He usually comes to me immediately when something’s wrong..”

“Yeah. It made me happy to know he does that now but this is.. this is huge. Not only is this something in his life he has tried to cope with and hide, I know he’s going to feel guilty that he kept this from everyone else. Hoseok and Seokjin Hyung and Jimin probably won’t care about that. We all care about him but this is just..a lot for him.” Yoongi paused. “The good thing is he didn’t tell you to stay away. He knows you’ll be at the apartment waiting. I just want to warn you, this is gonna be rough. He might lash out at you, say cruel things because this is such sensitive topic for him but please, stay by him.” Yoongi pleaded.

“I’ll never leave his side. He’s stuck with me.” Jungkook said with a light smile.

Yoongi cracked a smile as well. The conversation stopped there, the engine being turned back on. Jungkook opened the door to leave and waved at Yoongi as he drove away. He stood in the cold air and hated the uncertainty he felt, Yoongi's warning only making him more concerned. He lingered outside unil his face became too cold and he finally walked inside the building.

He pulled out the keys and unlocked the door and went inside the dark apartment. He turned on the kitchen light as he slipped his coat and shoes off. He took out Namjoon's phone and placed it on the table, the older boy had handed it over with the keys as Jungkook left the studio. He had been at Namjoon's apartment alone before but this time felt different. There was the anticipation of what would happen when Namjoon came home. Would he be quiet like he was at the studio? Or act out like Yoongi warned? It was something he had no way of preparing himself for.

Jungkook was going to lay in bed until his stomach suddenly growled at him. He opened the fridge and like usual there wasn’t much to work with. He looked through the cabinets and found a few different flavors of cupped ramen and opted for the spicy kimchi flavor. As he was waiting for the water to boil he received a text from Jimin.

 

**Jimin**

sent 7:10pm

_Did you want to be alone with Namjoon Hyung tonight? Minghao, Mingyu and Yoohyeon were planning to come with me but I can tell them we’ll have to do it another day._

 

Jungkook stared at the text and wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. He thought he might drive himself crazy with anxiety by waiting alone but worried the visit would be too long. He didn’t want Namjoon to come home with his apartment filled up with people. Neither did Jungkook want to leave the apartment to meet them somewhere else and have the older boy come back to an _empty_ apartment. After a bit of thought he replied back.

 

**Me**

7:15pm

_You guys can come over but only for an hour. Hyung is still at the studio but I don’t think he’ll be back that soon._

 

**Jimin**

sent 7:16pm

_Ok. We’ll be over asap._

 

Not long after he got a text from Taehyung asking if he wanted him over too, saying he could cancel his plans with Yoongi. He told his friend that Yoongi needed him too and not to worry about him. The last thing the younger boy wanted to do was to take Yoongi’s support system away from him when he needed it too.

Jungkook was so worried about Namjoon that he totally forgot about why he was with the older boy all day to begin with. The topic of the leaked audio would no doubt be discussed when everyone was there. It honestly felt like it didn’t happen, like it was some crazy story he heard about, not something that actually happened to _him_. He knew it’d be a different story once he was back on campus but he didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about the 2,400 students who received a text message with a link to an audio of him and Namjoon being intimate. He didn’t want to think about how people would treat him. He didn’t want to think about it possibly giving him so much anxiety he’d have to miss more classes or even leave for a semester. But Jungkook couldn’t _not_ think about it. And it felt like he was living in a nightmare.

Jungkook was so deep in his thoughts that he flinched as he heard a knock on the front door. He quickly took the water off the burner and turned the stove off. Jungkook unlocked the door and Yoohyeon burst through, pushing Jimin out of the way. She jumped into Jungkook, holding him in a death like grip hug.

“Ow, why did you charge at me like a bull.” He said muffled against his friend.

“I missed you and I’m pissed off and I missed you-”

“Ok, ok.” Jungkook patted the top of Yoohyeon’s head.

“Sorry for crushing you.” She stepped back.

“You gonna say sorry to me? You threw me to the side like nothing.” Jimin crossed his arms.

“No fighting, we’re not here long remember?” Minghao pointed out as he walked inside, Mingyu behind him.

“Right.” Jimin nodded embarrassed.

Everyone entered the living room and sat around Jungkook. Jimin and Yoohyeon on the sofa and the boyfriends stayed standing. Jimin looked at him hesitantly for a moment, scratching his head as he looked away.

“Is Namjoon Hyung ok? He’s not here with you..”

“I don’t know.” Jungkook answered honestly.

“I feel awful. And I wish I could take back reading the article.”

“Where did you find it?” He asked curiously.

“It was a gossipy slash news kind of site. I followed them on Twitter because they wrote an article on Hoseok Hyung getting attention from his video with Seokjin Hyung. It was a good article they wrote before. So, I was really shocked seeing what they wrote this time..”

“I see.” He wondered if it was the same website that wrote about Namjoon in the past. He’d have to ask Yoongi.

“Nobody else read it, please tell Namjoon Hyung that. I read it and immediately texted you. I didn’t even talk to Hoseok Hyung about it until afterwards. We sent emails and complained to the website but nobody else read it. They didn’t want to disrespect him by reading something he obviously didn’t feel comfortable sharing.” Jimin placed his hand over his. The rest of his friends nodded, none of them other than Jimin knowing the contents of the article.

“Thank you.” Jungkook sighed out. “Hyung would much rather tell everyone himself over an invasive article doing that.”

“So you already knew.” Jimin said not phased.

“He told me everything after I got hurt. Only me, Yoongi and obviously Tae know. It’s a really touchy subject so it’s hard to talk about.”

“I’m glad he has you here to come back to.” Yoohyeon said.

“Oh, about that. You’re staying here for awhile?”

“Yeah, if you’re cool with it. I’ll still pay my part of the rent of course.”

“You lived with him for a bit before. Are you staying as long as you did then?” Jimin asked.

“I honestly don’t know? Everything is kinda fucked up right now but it feels better staying together for now. I’m sorry for not being able to give you a definite answer.”

“Jungkookie I swear you two should just move in with each other at this point.”

“They’ve been dating what, coming up three months soon? What are they, lesbians?” Yoohyeon tried to hold a giggle in.

Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh, everyone else joining in with him. Minghao was bent over laughing and nearly lost his balance, making everyone laugh even harder. The laughter died down but Jungkook still had a smile left on his face.

“Thank you everyone. For, ya know.. coming to see me. And just, for everything.”

“Of course. We got your back.” Minghao said proudly.

“He seriously means that. He scared the shit out of a guy from the film department today.” Mingyu said as he pointed at his boyfriend.

“I wish I saw that.” Yoohyeon pouted.

“What? What happened?” Jungkook eyed Minghao.

“The asshole approached me, Mingyu and Jimin at lunch today. He was asking if we were the _Homo Club_. I asked him _'Why? You wanna join?'_ That got him even more angry and he started saving nasty shit about you.” His friend scowled as he spoke.

“What did he say..”

“Just gross stuff. A typical homophobe. He was trying to show off too because he was with a few friends.” Minghao rolled his eyes.

“That guy’s mistake was getting in Minghao’s face when he was talking about you. Minghao can take bullshit when it’s directed towards him, but insult his friend..” Mingyu let out a laugh. “That’s a death wish upon yourself.”

“What did you do?” Jungkook was completely surprised to find Minghao had such a side to him.

“Well,” His friend smiled. “He got in my face, so I got in his. I told him to stop or he’d regret it. The asshole laughed in my face, so I kicked him in the nuts.” Minghao shrugged.

“You didn’t..” He grined.

“He _did_.” Jimin laughed. “And then he told the idiot that if he talked shit again that he’d kick him again so hard his dick breaks off.”

“Truly, an icon.” Yoohyeon saluted Minghao and he bowed in response.

“It was priceless though. All his friends ran off and left him behind and he struggled to walk away with a look of terror as Minghao glared him down.” Mingyu laughed.

“I kinda don’t know what to say.” Jungkook looked at Minghao. “You could have gotten in trouble but you stuck up for me. I feel really lucky to have such a friend.”

Minghao looked at him blankly for a few moments then tears started to fill his eyes. “Don’t mention it.” He tried to play it off.

“Ah, really now.” Jungkook stood up and hugged the emotional boy. Not even a second later one by one his friends joined in and it became a group hug. “I love you guys, you know that right?” He smiled at everyone.

“We know. And we love you too Kook, our gay baby.” Yoohyeon cooed.

Jungkook rolled his eyes but had honestly finally taken a liking to the nickname. They stayed huddled together until Jimin figured they should leave before they get sidetracked. Jimin brought notes and assignment instructions he collected from the professors, luckily it wasn’t too much. Everyone said their goodbyes as they filed out and it was hard to see them go so soon. When he locked the door the apartment was back to the uncomfortable silence.

He sat down and flipped through the pages Jimin left him. He attempted to skim over a few things but nothing wanted to stick, his mind too wired. At a loss of what to do he went to the kitchen in search of something to drink. Jungkook had forgotten he never ate his ramen, the boiled water neglected and now lukewarm. His appetite was already lost so he dumped the water down the sink. He sighed as he opened the fridge to find some juice. There seemed to be only a few sips left of juice in the back of the fridge. He checked the date and after deeming it safe he chugged it down then put the plastic bottle in the recyclables. Jungkook walked around the apartment and tried to find chores to do, needing something to fill the time as he waited. His mind was completely blank as he cleaned. He dusted the shelves and pictures on the walls and focused only on whatever was right in front of him. He was trying to keep himself sane, knowing worrying over Namjoon’s whereabouts could potentially make him go crazy with anxiety.

It had been three hours. The apartment was spotless. He cleaned it from top to bottom. But now he didn’t have anything to distract himself from and the worries soon began to flood in. Namjoon didn’t have a phone now so he couldn’t call or text the older boy. And he didn't think it'd be appropriate to call the company to ask for Namjoon either. It was a feeling he really never had before, his connection was completely cut off from the older boy. He felt trapped. He tried to work on an assignment but he ended up reading the same paragraph eight times in a row before giving up again.

Jungkook kept checking the time, it currently being twenty minutes to twelve in the morning. He began pacing the room feeling a mild panic attack coming on but a knock on the front door snapped him out of it. Jungkook bolted to the door unlocking it swiftly. Namjoon stood before him, shoulders drooping and head down.

“Hyung..” He breathed out.

The older boy silently walked inside and began taking his shoes off. Again, the silence worried Jungkook.

“Here. Let me take this for you.”

When Namjoon stood up straight after his shoes were off the younger boy unzipped his coat and pulled it off. He hung it in the closet and turned to see his boyfriend slowly walking past the kitchen. He quickly followed and tried to see if there was anything he could do to help.

“Hyung? Do you need anything?”

“No.” Namjoon answered in a hollow voice.

“What about food? Did you eat anything? Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s late. Do you want to go to bed? I can make the bed up for-”

“Stop it.”

“Huh..?”

“Stop it!” The older boy said harshly, still not looking Jungkook in the eyes.

“Ah, I’m- I.. I’m sorry-”

“Just leave me the fuck alone!” Namjoon raised his voice and finally looked up, his eyes red from crying but sharp and cruel as he glared.

Jungkook was shocked by the outburst, never hearing the older boy speak that way before. He tried to keep calm and remember what Yoongi warned him. “Hyung, I won’t leave you alone. I’ll never leave you alone.”

Namjoon looked at him curiously for a moment. “Why?” The older boy’s eyes shined as tears threatened to fall.

The fact that Namjoon even had to ask made Jungkook begin to cry. He watched as the hard look in Namjoon’s eyes faded and a look of guilt replaced it. “Because I love you.”

The tears that threatened to fall now spilled down Namjoon’s cheeks. The older boy’s face contorted as he began to sob, his body shaking. Jungkook leaped into his boyfriend’s arms and held him tight. “I love you.” He repeated.

Namjoon’s limp arms now raised and held Jungkook, digging his fingers into the younger boy’s back. “I love you too.”

They cried in each other’s arms until they couldn’t produce any more tears. Even after the crying stopped they stood holding each other, neither wanting to let go just yet. Jungkook didn’t know how long they stayed like that but the older boy finally pulled away and gazed down at him with puffy eyes.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“It’s alri-”

“No, it’s _not_. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You don’t deserve that.” His boyfriend frowned. “I tried pushing you away when you’re literally the most important person in my life. I was sabotaging myself..”

“You’ve been hurt a lot in your life, Hyung. I can only imagine it’s a way of trying to protect yourself. I understand that. But I won’t hurt you. Well, at least I’ll try not to. I can’t promise that we won’t get into fights and hurt each other’s feelings sometimes but I’ll never give up on us. I mean, I’m still here after everything that has happened right? Even though none of this was your fault.“

“I knew I was getting better at talking to people when I need them but, today..” The older boy paused. “That article.. I don’t even know how to talk about how I’m feeling right now to be honest.” Namjoon sighed.

“You don’t have to talk about it yet. Unless you think that will help.”

“I don’t want to bottle up anything. I don’t want to take steps backwards when it comes to that.”

“Ok. Let’s sit.”

Jungkook held onto Namjoon’s hand and walked them over to the sofa. The older boy sat down and grabbed both of Jungkook’s hands and placed them in his lap. They stayed like that for awhile, Jungkook patiently waiting for Namjoon to speak. After a long silence he did.

“I tried working on one of the tracks I talked about with one of the producers today. I kept replaying the song, over and over. There was something missing but no matter what I added it didn’t fit. I got so frustrated with it, like I was working in circles. And then it dawned on me that my life was pretty similar. And I got angry. I felt like I was working towards something but it always ended back to my fucked up childhood. Like the song, I was going in circles. But I’ve fighting against what I can’t change my whole life. Which is why I never felt like I could go forward.” He gripped Jungkook’s hands. “I’ve always been ashamed of my past. And I didn’t want it to define me. I also didn’t want anyone knowing because I didn’t want to be pitied, especially by my friends.”

Namjoon became quiet again. He didn’t know what to say but then he remembered what Jimin told him.

“I want you to know that Jimin was the only one who read the article. He texted me right away so nobody else read it.”

“That’s.. a relief. I’ll have to thank him tomorrow.” Namjoon looked like he remembered something as well. “Detective Choi contacted me saying the article was taken down. But he said they haven’t gotten in contact with whomever published the article itself yet.”

“That’s good it’s down. He’ll probably get in touch with them tomorrow, it was later in the day that he left to investigate all that.”

“Yeah..” The older boy nodded. Namjoon looked away and blankly stared at the floor for a moment. “Maybe it’s good this happened.”

“Really?”

“It’s been exhausting to keep this hidden all these years. I don’t want to be ashamed anymore. I want to stop hiding.”

“I’m proud of you.” Jungkook watched as Namjoon looked back at him again. “It’s really hard to stop hiding when you have done it your whole life. This anonymous guy won’t win, because you’re strong Hyung.”

“I think _you’ve_ given me a lot of strength Jungkookie. You’ve shown me what’s important. You’ve shown me I have reasons I should love myself. I’ll always be learning how to love myself but I’ll always be grateful for you for teaching me that.”

Jungkookk smiled softly at his boyfriend.

“And on this journey of learning to love myself I’ve ended up falling in love with you. To be honest I’m kinda mad you got to say it first.” The older boy grined.

“Seriously?” He let out a small laugh.

“But I’m glad we both finally said it.”

“Me too.” Jungkook blushed.

“Everything is messy and fucked up right now but knowing I have you makes it easier. I’m still trying to process everything, including the audio on SoundCloud from yesterday. It’s the both of us that are struggling right now, not just me. I won’t try to push you away like I did earlier. I promise. I won’t do something so stupid like that again.” The older boy lifted one of Jungkook’s hands and tenderly kissed it.

“I promise too.” He placed his free hand on Namjoon’s face, rubbing his thumb over his cheek.

They locked eyes and Jungkook felt the love radiating off Namjoon. It was strong and warm. And overwhelming in the most comforting way possible. He didn’t know how to explain the feeling in his heart as he looked at the older boy. It almost felt like he was floating. His skin tingled and his heart beat fast. He felt like he was almost out of breath and he couldn’t understand why. Namjoon began to lean in, dreamily looking at Jungkook’s lips. When their lips touched he finally understood. He was _happy_. He was so fucking happy. The happiest he’d ever been in his entire life. And it was because he was in love.

The kiss started off slow but soon the both of them wanted more. Namjoon leaned forward, pushing Jungkook’s back down on the sofa. The older boy pulled away from the kiss and began littering his neck with kisses. Jungkookie yelped out surprised as Namjoon licked up his adam’s apple and chin and they locked lips again. He spread his legs and pulled on Namjoon’s shoulders to move him forward so they could get closer. His boyfriend licked into his mouth as he loomed over him, a knee between the younger boy’s legs. Jungkook could feel the knee and wanted the friction, already feeling his cock twitching in his jeans. He lowered himself down and pushed against the older boy’s knee letting out a sweet little whimper.

“Fuck.” Namjoon broke the kiss. “I really wanna touch you like last time.” He breathed out heavily. “Is that ok?”

“I want more than last time. I want you. _All_ of you.”

The older boy bit his bottom lip. “Shit. Are you sure? Two fingers is a big difference to.. ya know.”

“I know you’ll take good care of me.”

“But what if-”

Jungkook pulled down on the collar of Namjoon’s sweatshirt, their lips mere centimeters apart. “Hyung. I want you in me.”

The older boy visibly gulped and without missing a beat stood up and dragged Jungkook into the bedroom. They flopped down onto the bed and Namjoon kissed him hungrily. Jungkook melted into the mattress as his boyfriend licked and twirled his tongue skillfully. He drug his fingernails into Namjoon’s back and kind of hoped he’d leave some marks. Both of them gasped for air when their lips finally parted. They gazed into each other’s eyes and it was full of lust but equally just as much love. Jungkook smiled as he saw the older boy’s lips curl up into a cute grin, his dimples making him look even cuter. The switch from sexy to cute was a lot to handle though.

“Tell me when it hurts alright? You might hate me for how long I’ll prep you but I just don’t want you to be in a lot of pain.”

“You gonna use a pillow like you did with Yoongi?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t believe you are bringing him up right now.” Namjoon rolled his eyes.

“Sorry. That’s weird.” Jungkook covered his face embarrassed.

“Ah, don’t hide your cute face.” The older boy removed his hands away and leaned down to kiss him softy. “I use the pillow to get a better angle by the way, not just because I’m sweet.” Namjoon whispered in his ear.

Jungkook blinked at him blushing and dumbfounded. “R-really?”

“Mhm.”

They stared at each other for a few moments and Jungkook noticed Namjoon was thinking about something. “What are you thinking?”

Namjoon’s eyes widened slightly. “You could tell huh..”

“Yeah. You’ve gotten a lot easier to read.”

The older boy sighed. “Well. I guess I’m surprised you want to have sex even after what happened last night. It's something pretty traumatic..” He paused. “I don’t want you regretting anything, especially this.”

Jungkook could see the worry in his boyfriend’s face. He _did_ think about it for a moment beforehand, the fact that they were recorded the last time they were together like this. But the Detectives made sure their apartments weren’t bugged which obviously gave him peace of mind. The incident _was_ and _is_ a lot to handle but Jungkook wanted to be with Namjoon. He wouldn’t let fear stop him from doing that.

“I don’t want what happened to control how I live my life, especially with you. Going to college tomorrow is going to be tough but I have you and my friends to help me through it. But right now I really need you to touch me, these pants are getting too tight.” He smirked as he whispered the last sentence.

Namjoon nodded his head. “Ok.”

The older boy licked his lips as his hands made it down to the button on Jungkook’s jeans. He was happy he didn’t wear a belt today, one less obstacle to overcome. Namjoon unbuttoned his jeans and pulled the zipper down, the look determination on his boyfriend’s face being both endearing _and_ sexy. He lifted his hips as his jeans were pulled down and off. He was embarrassed by how wet his boxers were from the precum and placed a hand over it in a sad attempt to hide it. He wanted to hide away when he heard Namjoon chuckle.

“Baby, why are you covering yourself? I’ve already seen you naked before.”

“I- I’m really wet.” He said shyly.

“You..” Namjoon sighed. “You’re going to drive me crazy you know that?”

“Wha- why?”

The older boy crawled over him and leaned in to kiss him. It lasted only a few seconds before he pulled away. “You’re either doing this on purpose or just naturally a tease without realizing it.” Namjoon placed his hand firmly on Jungkook’s clothed sticky cock.

“Ah!” Jungkook’s body jolted at the sudden touch.

Namjoon removed his boxers quickly and lowered his head back down to the younger boy’s crotch. Jungkook closed his eyes anticipating Namjoon’s touch again but instead heard him swearing underneath his breath. He opened his eyes to see the older boy shaking his head.

“You’re so damn pretty.” Namjoon pulled down Jungkook’s oversized sweater and he could now feel the fabric underneath his cock. “I kinda wish I could take a picture. I’m taking a mental one instead.”

He looked down and couldn’t disagree that it was definitely a sight. His legs were spread apart, the muscles in his thighs straining. The oversized sweater pulled down while his hard cock curved up against the fabric, precum dripping down and leaving a stain. He looked up just in time to see Namjoon licking his lips, like he was about to eat a tasty meal. A second later he felt his boyfriend’s mouth around him and he whined at the pleasure. Namjoon lowered his head and hollowed out his cheeks as he sucked. The older boy started to bob his head up and down and it was heavenly. His tounge swirled up and around his shaft and just when he thought he was getting close, Namjoon pulled away.

“Fuck.” Jungkook squirmed and twitched.

“Sorry.”

“Mmfine. I don’t want to cum this soon anyway.”

“I’m going to start now ok?”

Jungkook silently nodded in reply. Namjoon stood up and grabbed the large bottle of lube and one of the condoms kept inside the bedside table. He gulped when he heard the click of the bottle opening but tried to keep his body relaxed.

“I’m gonna do what I did last time but I’ll also be putting three fingers in before I put it in alright?”

Jungkook nodded again. He felt embarrassed that Namjoon kept giving him the play by play but knew it was because he just wanted Jungkook to know what was happening so he wouldn’t be surprised. It was sweet and considerate and very Namjoon. He flinched when he felt something cold against him. The older boy apologizing for not warning it up. Just like the time before, Namjoon pumped his cock as he pushed a finger inside him. After Jungkook said it felt ok another finger was added. He tried to not strain his muscles and let his body be fully relaxed. Jungkook wouldn’t admit it but he did a little research on how to help with prepping yourself for sex. He was actually planning to try it himself but ultimately was too busy, even for masturbating. He was pleasantly surprised when the second finger went in with barely any discomfort. He was focusing too much on keeping his body relaxed that he was not prepared for Namjoon’s fingers to hit his prostate head on.

“Ahh!” His back arched off the mattress.

“There.” Namjoon said with a smile in his voice.

Jungkook whined and moaned as the older boy thrusted in and out, all while he still took care of the younger boy’s cock. He instinctively spread his legs even farther apart and he accidentally bit down on his tongue when the angle allowed Namjoon to push in deeper. After a little while the older boy asked if he could put the third finger in. Jungkook told him to go ahead. He was expecting a little or maybe even _a lot_ of pain with a third finger. But even if that’s the case he didn’t want to stop. He hoped Namjoon wouldn’t try to convince him to stop if he noticed him in pain. He was so close to feeling Namjoon, he didn’t want to wait anymore.

He closed his eyes as he felt the fingers pressed against him. The older boy slowly pushed them inside, at first it feeling ok. Once past the knuckles, the stretching became more intense. It hurt a little bit but he didn’t visibly wince so it wasn’t noticed by his boyfriend.

“You’re doing really good baby.” Namjoon twisted his hand on the tip of Jungkook’s cock to distract him from any possible discomfort.

When all three fingers were fully inside, Namjoon didn’t move them out. He was relieved and figured the older boy was waiting for him to get used to it before moving. After a minute Namjoon wiggled his fingers slowly inside him without pushing in more or pulling out. It didn’t hurt nor did it feel pleasurable. But after a little more time Namjoon slowly pulled out then pushed back in. Jungkook moaned out when the tips of his fingers rubbed against his prostate, pleasure greeting him once again. Namjoon was eager to hear such a response and pushed in deeper. The older boy continued to tease him and when he finally felt like he was going insane with waiting and he told Namjoon he was ready.

Jungkook’s stomach filled with butterflies when he slightly sat up to see Namjoon finally take his clothes off and pick up the condom. Jungkook didn’t know how his boyfriend could stand having a hard-on so long while wearing jeans. Of course they weren’t nearly as tight as his, he reminded himself. The older boy’s fingers were slick with lube so he tore the plastic package with his teeth. It was undeniably hot and Jungkook’s cock twitched in anticipation. When their eyes locked any nerves he had melted away, Namjoon looking at him with so much desire and love. The older boy rolled on the condom then crawled over him and kissed him sweetly. Jungkook wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s neck as the older boy lifted the oversized sweater to pinch his very erect nipples. He whimpered into the kiss and his boyfriend smiled. Namjoon pulled away and stared into Jungkook’s eyes, his eyes seemed to smile.

“I love you.”

Jungkook smiled so wide it almost hurt his face. “I love you too.”

His boyfriend lovingly kissed his forehead before grabbing the bottle of lube again. Namjoon positioned himself between Jungkook’s legs after coating his cock in an excessive amount of lube. The older boy placed his hands on his knees and pushed them even farther apart, then pushed them up towards Jungkook. He took a deep breath then felt the tip of Namjoon’s cock pressed against him. He was strangely excited and he glanced up to see sweat dripping down the older boy’s temple. He watched that same look of determination as he finally felt Namjoon start to push inside him.

It wasn’t pleasant. The stretch was a lot, like Namjoon said, two fingers is _very_ different. He didn’t even have to say anything for the older boy to know, Namjoon immediately stopping.

“It hurts? Do you want to stop?”

Jungkook shook his head. “I don’t want to stop. It’s not too bad.” He let a long breath out. “How much is even inside?”

“Just the tip.”

“Keep going.”

Namjoon didn’t start pushing again right away, he let Jungkook get adjusted for a moment. It got a little worse when the older boy began again, his shaft long and thick. But his boyfriend took his time and after a lot of small breaks he was fully inside him. Jungkook couldn’t believe it. He felt so filled, it was a feeling he didn’t even know how to accurately describe. The most satisfying thing was knowing they were connected. It would absolutely sound corny if he said it out loud but it was true. And the fact that his first time was with someone he loved made it that more unreal.

“I’m gonna move now baby, ok?”

“Ok.” He gulped.

Namjoon barely pulled out before slowly pushing in again. He still felt really stretched out but most of the initial pain was gone. Namjoon repeated the action a few times and after seeing Jungkook wasn’t in anymore apparent pain he pushed in with a little more force. He was not at all prepared for the incredible feeling of pleasure when Namjoon’s cock hit him in the perfect spot. He let out a high pitched moan that surprised the both of them.

“Was that good?”

“Y-yeah.”

Namjoon looked delighted and smiled down at him. “I’m gonna go a little faster now.”

Jungkook nodded and a second later the older boy pulled out and pushed in again, fast and deep. He let out another high pitched moan, not expecting to be so loud. Namjoon thrusted good and hard after seeing how good the younger boy was obviously feeling. Jungkook’s neglected cock bounced against his stomach as he was thrust into and it felt so unbelievably good that he left his cock alone, gripping the bedsheets underneath him instead. He heard Namjoon grunting heavily as he thrusted and knowing his boyfriend was feeling so good being inside him turned him on even more.

“Fuck. It’s so tight.” Namjoon panted out.

“Is it- Ah! Good?” He struggled to speak as he was thrust into.

“So good.” The older boy bit his lip as he gripped onto Jungkook’s thighs, raising his legs up slightly.

Jungkook screamed out in pleasure as the angle somehow became even better, Namjoon picking up the pace as well. His skin was now sticky with sweat and his head felt light and hazy. Every time Namjoon thrusted into his prostate he felt his body tingle and goosebumps covered his skin. He felt both hot and cold. It was almost like he had a fever but without the sickness. He couldn’t even feel embarrassed as he moaned out in pleasure, the neighbors probably hearing through the walls if they were still awake.

Namjoon leaned down and kissed Jungkook as he continued to thrust. The angle wasn’t as good but he really wanted to kiss the older boy so he didn’t mind. It was messy, a lot of tongue and some teeth. He whined missing Namjoon’s lips as he pulled away from the kiss but couldn’t complain when the older boy lifted his hips again and the intense pleasure was back. Jungkook couldn’t last much longer and by the sound of Namjoon’s grunts and moans he couldn’t either.

“Hyung, _harder_.” His throat was scratchy and his voice was shot.

Namjoon didn’t need to be told twice, the older boy immediately thrusting hard and fast. All that could be heard were their moans and the sound of skin slapping together. Jungkook finally began pumping his needy cock and the stimulation was overwhelming. He nearly choked on his saliva, so caught off guard when Namjoon pushed so hard and deep that he came immediately. Jungkook’s vision went white, the pleasure being unmeasurable to anything he has ever known. His back arched and his body twitched uncontrollably. He felt possessed by the pleasure, something that sounded so crazy yet made sense to him in the moment. Namjoon never stopped thrusting, doing it through the younger boy’s orgasm. Just before it was becoming too much Namjoon pulled out and came. His vision was a little blurry but he saw Namjoon twitch as he was riding out his own orgasm and it was something Jungkook wanted etched into his memory forever.

The older boy pulled off his condom and threw it in the trash. Jungkook was still trying to catch his breath and he was too exhausted to move. Namjoon came back after a couple minutes with a wet cloth. He stared at his boyfriend amused.

“Are you really gonna wipe me down?” Jungkook chuckled.

“I doubt you could make it to the shower.”

“Yeah, you fucked me real good. I probably can’t even walk out the bedroom door.”

“I can’t believe you..” Namjoon lowered his head embarrassed.

“Now that I think about it this was bad timing when I have classes tomorrow.”

“Shit. Will you be alright?” Namjoon began cleaning the sweat and cum off the younger boy.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll just be like that Ariana Grande song ya know? Walking side to side?” Jungkook giggled as the cloth tickled his skin.

“I don’t know why I was expecting a sappy Jungkook after sex, instead you’re even more of a meme.” Namjoon laughed in disbelief.

“I’m new to this ok.” He pouted.

“No, I like it. It’s cute. _You’re_ cute.”

Jungkook blushed as he tried to hide his face. “I feel sappy Jungkook coming on.”

“What? Does sappy Jungkook have anything to say?”

“Yeah.” He looked at the older boy directly. “I’m kinda amazed that I had sex with someone I’m in love with. It was perfect.”

Namjoon smiled at him tenderly. “I’ve never done that either, with someone I was truly in love with. It was perfect for me too.”

They gazed at each other for a moment, both so effortlessly happy. “Kiss me.” Jungkook suddenly demanded.

The older boy laughed but did exactly that. Namjoon gently placed a hand on Jungkook’s cheek and leaned in to kiss him. There was no tongue and was pretty PG compared to everything they had just done. But it was so warm and safe. It was filled with love. It was perfect.


	40. I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sore back and suspicious people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Chapter 40 is here! I can't believe how many chapters I've written, I honestly didn't expect a lot of people to read my fic so I wanted to thank all my readers! You guys are awesome, seriously. I hope this chapter was worth the wait TT u TT❤❤❤

Jungkook fell asleep in Namjoon’s arms and woke up to the older boy gently shaking him awake. He was freezing, still naked but now not having Namjoon’s body heat keeping him warm. He whined out in annoyance still not wanting to open his eyes and his boyfriend laughed.

“I let you sleep in Jungkookie, but you should at least get up to eat.”

Jungkook’s eyes shot open. “Sleep in? What time is it?” He wrapped the blanket around him as he sat up, Namjoon standing beside the bed fully clothed and showered.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be late for class.”

He sighed at his luck of having morning classes with a sore body. It wasn’t too bad but he felt a small amount of pain from his lower back as he sat up. He could only hope he’d be able to walk normally otherwise his friends would be able to tell what happened the night before. Getting out of bed was a little bit of a struggle. The older boy helped him stand and walked to the bathroom with him. The pain was easier to handle standing and he technically could walk alright but he let Namjoon take care of him. It’d be such a waste if he didn’t, he thought. He leaned his body against Namjoon as they walked but wasn’t happy to see the older boy frown when they entered the bathroom.

“I should have held back last night.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes with a smile. “Hyung, I told you to do it harder. It’s my fault for forgetting about classes today.”

“But,” Namjoon blushed. “It was your first time, I shouldn’t have been so..”

“So, what? So _good_? I told you to go harder because it felt _good_.” He grined.

“Can we not talk about this when you’re still naked and sexy?” The older boy sighed out in defeat.

“Oh, I’m sexy?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow.

Namjoon facepalmed. “Yeah, like all the time. But like, still cute somehow. Dammit. Can I leave before I embarrass myself any more?”

“You’re dismissed.” He chuckled.

“Thank god. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Namjoon quickly shut the door.

Jungkook laughed to himself, loving every second of seeing his Hyung flustered. He got showered as quickly as he could. He was starving because he never ate dinner the previous night so he washed his body and hair thoroughly but definitely with some speed. Jungkook didn’t have clothes to change into so he wrapped the towel he used to dry himself around his hips. He opened the bathroom door and from the angle he couldn’t see Namjoon in the kitchen. As he stepped out the older boy came into view.

“Really?”

“What? I didn’t have anything to change into.” He paused. “It could be worse, I could have came out here _without_ the towel.”

Namjoon swore under his breath. “Ok, yeah, fine. Please put some clothes on.”

“Alright. But I’ll have to borrow them from you. Especially a pair of underwear.”

The look on the older boy’s face was worth mentioning the underwear. But then he realized he left his sticky boxers somewhere in Namjoon’s room and figured he should clean them before leaving for college. He didn’t get a response from Namjoon, just a lot of sighing. He giggled and left to go get changed, he was too cold to stay and tease his boyfriend any longer anyways. Jungkook smiled like an idiot as he went through Namjoon’s clothes to pick out something warm. He slid on a fresh pair of underwear and picked out a thick soft black sweater. He even wore a pair of the older boy’s pants. He picked out the dark khaki cargo pants his boyfriend often wore, the pockets being the butt of many jokes from Seokjin and even Jimin. But hey, Jungkook loved the pockets. He looked in the mirror and he had a feeling his friends weren’t going to let him off easy. He basically looked like he was cosplaying his boyfriend and even Jungkook couldn’t deny how easy of a target he was going to be. But he couldn’t even be mad about it because he felt safe, like he was wrapped up in his security blanket. If he put on a beanie he’d truly look like Namjoon, instead he kept his hair down and in his eyes. He tried parting his hair but got annoyed and realized he probably needed a haircut.

He discreetly took his dirty underwear and tried cleaning them in the sink. Jungkook just about jumped out of his skin when Namjoon suddenly stood in the bathroom doorway with a coffee mug in his hand.

“You don’t have to rush, I won’t tease you or anything.”

“Uh huh. This is a golden opportunity to tease me Hyung. I’m literally cleaning my cum stained boxers in your bathroom sink.”

“What about your sweater? Didn’t that get dirty too?” Namjoon asked genuinely.

“Dammit.”

“Don’t worry about it, I can put it in the washing machine. That too.” The older boy gestured towards the boxers. “Let me put a load in the washer while you drink your coffee ok?”

“You’re so nice, even after I teased you.” He pouted as he shut the water off.

“Don’t worry I’ll pay you back for messing with me this morning. Seriously, you don’t know easily you frustrate me sometimes.” Namjoon grined.

“Ok. I’m confused, that makes you sound like you enjoyed it.” He eyed the older boy. “You were so shy earlier but that grin doesn’t seem so innocent.”

“Hey, can you blame me for being shy? All that confidence, coupled with your gorgeous body? It’s going to take a long time getting used to that.”

“I guess that means you’re gonna have to touch me a lot more to get used to it.”

“And there you go again..” Namjoon blushed. “Go drink your coffee before I make out with you.” The older boy set down his own cup on the bathroom counter.

“Wait, what if I want-”

“No. Because I’m gonna end up sucking your dick and you’ll be late for class.” Namjoon shook his head.

It was Jungkook’s turn to blush. “O-oh. Ok. I guess I’ll just, uh..”

He walked past his boyfriend and wished he could let Namjoon have his way with him. But he didn’t want to miss class just because he was horny, no matter how much he actually wanted to. He walked into the kitchen and saw his mug set next to the coffee machine. He drank his coffee as he zoned out, trying to get in the mind frame of going to college and working after classes. It was going to be a long day but he felt comforted knowing he’d be back in this apartment with Namjoon in the evening. Once Jungkook was finished the older boy apologized for the lack of a decent breakfast. He told his boyfriend that he could grab something on campus and not to worry about it.

“But, we should get groceries. I’m going to be here for a little while so we can’t have the recurring problem of there being no food in the fridge.”

“Yeah.. it’s getting embarrassing how often that happens.”

“I can grab a few things after my classes are done. I have some spare time before I go to work.”

“Maybe I could have a later lunch break and go along?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I like buying groceries with you anyways. And it’s kinda been our thing even before we dated.”

“The food market.” Jungkook smiled at the memory. “I’ll never forget how you actually made me get your keys from inside your pocket. You did that shit on purpose didn’t you..” He narrowed his eyes at Namjoon.

“You may not believe it but it was totally not planned and I was suffering just as much as you.”

“We were idiots.” Jungkook shook his head.

“Speaking of being an idiot..” Namjoon looked the younger boy up and down. “I shouldn’t have let you raid my closet. You’re even wearing my favorite pants. I’m gonna be stressed all day knowing you’re wearing all my clothes.” The older boy sighed.

“But it feels like I’m being hugged by you. Which is.. really nice considering today is probably going to be a tough day but I’ll be comforted by this.” He tugged on the soft sweater.

Namjoon stared at him deeply for a moment then stepped towards him, grabbing Jungkook’s hands and squeezing them. “I wish I could go with you and scare off any assholes who try to start shit.”

He held the older boy’s hands back tightly. “It shouldn’t be too bad, Minghao already scared a guy yesterday. He even kicked him in the balls.” He snickered.

Namjoon bursted out laughing. “Perfect. He’s giving out a clear message not to mess with you guys.”

“I can only imagine if I fall into trouble my friends will have my back. Hopefully today will be boring and uneventful in that regard.”

“On that note, we should probably head out. Let me get you a scarf.”

Jungkook smiled as Namjoon walked over with the huge scarf he had lent him before. “You gonna put it on me like last time?” He teased.

“Of course.” The older boy smiled confidently.

He gulped at the sight, his boyfriend’s smile both sexy _and_ beautiful. “What happened to my flustered Hyung?” He tried to say with sass.

“Ah well, you see..” Namjoon began to wrap the scarf around his neck. “You may have power over me when it comes to your gorgeous body and cute face. But I know you’re weak in moments like this.” The older boy smiled wide as he adjusted the scarf around his neck before leaning forward. “Because in the end, you're my baby.”

Jungkook’s face became hot, the warm scarf definitely not helping the situation. “You- I.. uh, I’m- I’m not.” He pulled the scarf up to hide himself.

“You’re not?” Namjoon’s voice was low and husky.

“I hate you.” He whined.

“I love you too.”

Jungkook lowered the scarf to peek at his boyfriend. Namjoon looked at him sweetly and he felt his insides melt. He flinched when he felt his boyfriend’s hand grip his hip, pulling him closer in the process. They locked eyes and he watched as Namjoon’s eyes flickered down to the scarf covering his mouth. The older boy slowly lowered the fabric and revealed Jungkook’s trembling lips. Namjoon closed the distance between them and kissed him softly. Jungkook’s body gave in and he melted into Namjoon’s grasp, the older boy holding him tightly as the kiss deepened. He opened his mouth and let the older boy kiss him feverishly. What was tender was now full of hunger. Neither of them wanted to let go. Jungkook’s body was sore but he so badly wanted to be held again. He wanted to feel Namjoon’s hands all over his body. He wanted the older boy to whisper in his ear the things that he wanted to do to him. He wanted to let go of time and drown in Namjoon’s love. He wanted to, but he couldn’t.

Reluctantly they both pulled away from the kiss. Jungkook bit his lip at the sight of Namjoon’s disheveled appearance. The older boy let out an annoyed sigh as he looked down at the floor and shook his head.

“I feel like I’m going crazy.”

“Me too.” He chuckled as he tried to catch his breath from the heavy kiss.

“I feel like I’m a little crazier.”

“Why?”

“Uh, because I wanna kiss you and touch you all day. I literally can’t get enough. I mean, we haven’t even left the apartment yet because I can’t help myself.” Namjoon blushed.

“Hyung. All I want right now is for you to throw me back on your bed and fuck me again. We’re _both_ suffering.” He averted his eyes as he blushed.

“Oh.”

“But we really need to leave before I let you actually do that.” He grabbed Namjoon’s arm. “Come on.”

They finally left the apartment and made it just in time for Jungkook to walk over to his class, no time for breakfast. Before he left the car he fixed the older boy’s hair he ruined from the steamy kiss, his hands making Namjoon look like he was going for an Albert Einstein look. After a bit of finagling it was back to it’s original state and they kissed goodbye. The chaos of his morning made Jungkook completely forget his worries about his first day back since the SoundCloud incident. He had truly forgotten about it until he was settled in his seat with his laptop out and felt a pair of eyes on him. He glanced behind him and saw a boy looking at him in disgust. It was then that he remembered his worries and what he didn’t want to happen was now a reality. He quickly turned his head back and stared towards the front of the class. He would focus on learning, that’s it. He didn’t want to let the boy behind him distract him so he tried his best to ignore it.

 

_____________________________

 

Class was over and Jungkook was mentally exhausted. His mind kept slipping back to the boy glaring at him and it made it nearly impossible to concentrate. It was a mental battle he endured the entire class but was extremely grateful when they were released. He tried to collect his things as quickly as possible but soon felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You came back huh? I figured you’d probably kill yourself like your kind tend to do.”

Jungkook gritted his teeth and closed his eyes. “Fuck off.”

The boy laughed then stood directly in front of him. “You think you can talk to me like that?”

“What about you? You think you can talk to _me_ like that? Mind your business, I haven’t done anything to bother you anyway.” He stuffed his book in his backpack and stood up. “Excuse me.”

“Ha! You’re bothering all of us with your homo shit. You’re invading our space with your nasty disease.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, finding the whole thing comical now. “I’m literally just sitting listening to the lecture. In what way am I invading? Where is the logic in that?” He scoffed.

The boy’s eyes grew wide in rage. “You-”

“Do you think if I touch you you’ll be gay? What are you, four? It’s not like, tag you’re it, you’re gay now!” He laughed.

The boy’s face was red, both in anger and in embarrassment. “You filthy -”

Jungkook suddenly remembered he planned to meet his friends near the library entrance, Jimin's orders via text from Namjoon's phone. “Ah, I need to meet my friends. Gotta go.”

He swung his backpack over his shoulder and left the classroom, leaving the homophobe speechless and humiliated. Jungkook couldn’t help the smile on face and the skip in his step as he left to meet his friends. It was a freeing feeling, sticking up for himself. He was too paralyzed at the bar in that bathroom all those months ago but he only now realized how much stronger he had become. Fear had always had a grip on him, whether that came in the form of his anxiety or not. But this time was so different. This time instead of fear he felt anger. Anger that he was being treated so poorly. Anger that made him want to do something about it. He finally didn’t take the back seat in his own life for once, he was at the wheel and it was thrilling.

He dashed to the library and as soon as he made it Jimin crashed into him demanding hugs and an explanation. Minghao and Mingyu crossed their arms and nodded.

“We were supposed to meet here _before_ your class not after.” Jimin shook him as he spoke.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here as early as I planned.” He frowned.

“I hate you not having a phone. I was worried sick.” Jimin whined into the hug.

“I’m sorry.” Jungkook said genuinely. “I’ll get one today. I promise.”

“I’m glad you’re ok. I was worried something happened.” Mingyu sighed.

“Between not knowing where you were and Jimin freaking out I was about to blow.” Minghao pressed a finger to his temple.

“You gonna kick another homophobe’s balls into oblivion?” Jungkook laughed.

“Oh, you’re laughing now but that’s what it was coming to.”

“So, are we all headed in different directions?” Mingyu asked after looking at the time on his phone.

“Yeah but I’m dropping Jungkook off to his class.” Jimin placed an arm over the younger boy’s shoulder.

“Really Hyung?” He mopped.

“Yup. I’m doing this all day. Until you get that phone. This way I can at least focus in class. I didn’t write a single thing down I was so worried.”

“Well I didn’t do much better. I had this guy glaring at me.”

“Did he say anything? Do I need to kick some balls?” Minghao asked in a shrill voice.

“It’s fine. I actually told him off myself.” He said proudly.

“Jeon Jungkook? Told someone off?” Jimin smiled wide.

“Yes. And his face was priceless.”

“I never thought I’d see the day!”

“I know right?” He laughed.

"Wait.." Jimin eyed Jungkook. "Are those Namjoon Hyung's pants."

"I've only met him a handful of times but I recognized those. Why are you wearing his clothes huh?" Minghao raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't brought my clothes over yet. I needed something to wear." His face got hot.

"You.. oh shit." Mingyu giggled. "The deed has been done."

"Oh my god Jungkookie. You did?" Jimin nearly screamed.

"Can we not talk about my sex life in front of the library."

"It's just- you actually _have_ a sex life." Jimin said amazed.  

"Ok. I'm leaving." He tried to escape but Mingyu caught him.

"Raincheck on the sex life talk. But we'll see you later." Mingyu patted him on the back and waved as he left with Minghao.

 

__________________________

 

Jungkook was babied the rest of the day. Without fail Jimin picked him up and dropped him off at every class. The upside to it was Jimin was texting Namjoon and they communicated that way. His boyfriend told him he could pick him up at the college entrance near his department but Jungkook decided he wanted to get his phone immediately so, they changed plans and would meet there instead. Jimin was planning to go with him (to drop him off) but was asked by a senior to come by the dance studio. He promised to contact Jimin as soon as his phone was set up and they parted ways.

His day felt so drawn out, it was hard to believe it was only half past one in the afternoon. He could feel the eyes of his classmates on him all morning and people in the halls weren’t discreet either. Many fingers pointing and hushed conversations later and Jungkook felt very drained. He felt bad for his friends at lunch, he zoned out too many times to count. His body went on autopilot and he fed himself and guzzled his coffee. But that was it. He didn’t realize how bad it was until they stopped trying to talk to him, his friends knowing better than to try to pull him out of his deep trance. And he didn’t get to apologize for it, Mingyu even giving him a vitamin drink while Jimin and Minghao threw out their trash. He accepted it stupidly, holding it in his hands as he tried to come back from his previous hazy mental state. He still had the drink now as he walked in the cold, wanting to thank his friend before drinking it. But he heard Jimin’s nagging voice in his head and figured he needed the energy for all the shopping with Namjoon.

He chugged the bottle at the bus stop and capped it off before throwing it out in the nearby trash can. The taste was an odd mixture between awful and satisfying, leaving a strong aftertaste in his mouth. He stepped onto the bus and was pleased to feel the heat from the vents. It usually wouldn’t take long for it to go from cozy to overheated but he thought he shouldn’t be on the bus long enough for it to get to oven status. To pass the time Jungkook would almost always put on his headphones and listen to music. But without his phone it was a little quiet. He glanced around the semi filled bus and listened to a few older ladies talk about their grandchildren. He smiled at the conversation but saw a couple people with caps and their hoods up, the contrast to the grandmothers being daunting. For a split second it seemed suspicious to him but he didn’t want his paranoia to ruin an already tiresome day. They were cold and kept their hoods up, he thought. Nothing dubious.

Not much longer he got off at his stop. His anxiety came back as the group of old ladies and the hooded people got off with him. Jungkook stayed closely behind the group of women, trying to keep a good distance between the hooded people behind him. He clenched his fists in his jacket pockets and hoped it was just the paranoia. But as he turned right, so did the two behind him. He tried to stay calm. Even if these people wanted to hurt him he was in a public place, that meant he was safe right? The ladies huddled together and walked into a store close by. He didn’t know what to do. Does he follow the women inside the store or continue on to where he was meeting Namjoon? There were enough people on the street for him not to feel completely alone with the suspicious people but the memory of being struck by Chae Dongwoo came back and it made him feel sick.

His legs took him past the store the old women went inside. He wasn’t sure if walking around like he didn’t know he was being followed was a good move but it was too late to change his mind now. He grew anxious when he turned a couple corners and the streets were more empty compared to the main street. He could feel his body shaking now and it wasn’t from the cold. Jungkook wanted to look back to see how close or how far the hooded people were. Or perhaps by some miracle they left him alone. But his fear was too great so, he walked on. A couple minutes went by and he was only one block away from the store. He wanted to scream to the people following him to leave him alone. He was sweating bullets and it was hard to breathe. The gang leader finally sent people after him, he thought. Would he be beaten up badly as a message to stay out of the gang’s business? Or would he be killed and his body left in a dumpster? His eyes began to water at the thought, he was never so terrified. He only just told Namjoon he loved him the previous day. He didn’t want it to end like this. Tears streamed down his face as he heard footsteps closer behind him. He tried to pick up his pace to keep a distance between them but all too quickly he felt someone’s hands on his back. He was thrown to the ground in the alley way he was trying so hard to get past. The ground was freezing and wet and he tried to scream for help but was punched in the jaw before any sound came out. He tasted something coppery in his mouth as he looked up at the hooded people who were now laughing down at him.

“Ya wanna hit him next?” A young man’s voice asked the other hooded person.

“Yeah. He really pissed me off today.” A familiar voice said.

Jungkook squinted at the two people and then it clicked. He let out a laugh of relief as he got himself up off the ground. “You’re that asshole from earlier today.”

“Shut the fuck up.” The boy from his class said angrily.

“Why are you laughing? We’re about to kick your ass. Payback for what your friend did to me.”

“Wait. Are you the kid from the film department? The one who got his balls kicked by Minghao?” Jungkook cracked a smile but the pain from the punch made him wince.

The other boy laughed as the film student fumed. Now that they were close Jungkook could see their faces. They were total amateurs. They were obviously pissed at him but neither looked like they had much muscle in them to do much about it. The punch he received felt more like a lucky shot than actual precision. The film student looked very lanky and slender whereas the other boy seemed like his bark was worse than his bite.

“You keep your mouth shut alright?” The film student spat out.

“Can we not have this chatter? I wanna punch this piece of shit in the face.”

Jungkook laughed again, stunning both the college boys. “You really think I’m so meek and passive? You picked the wrong homo to beat up then.”

It was such emotional whiplash going from being so terrified to a strange feeling of joy. Seeing the faces of two overly confident homophobes thinking they had anything over him was a much better feeling than the previous one of fear. He was expecting gang members for God’s sake. Jungkook could definitely handle this.

The looks of shock from the boys almost seemed cartoonist, it making him laugh at the situation even more. He took a step towards the boys and they took a step back. It didn’t take much for Jungkook to get them spooked and he was glad because he didn’t actually want to beat anyone up. He glared at the both of them and the film student ran away immediately. The other boy yelled after him and swore under his breath as he complained at being abandoned. They locked eyes after a moment and his classmate gave him a cocky smile.

“I’m still gonna punch you in the face, you fucker. Break your nose even.”

“Oh really? My boyfriend broke some guy’s nose once. Blood was everywhere. The guy was messing with me. My boyfriend is pretty protective actually. That’s kinda bad for you I guess.” He shrugged.

“Where’s he now then?” The boy looked and gestured around the alley. “I don’t see this boyfriend who will conveniently beat me up.”

“Not right now. But once he sees my bleeding mouth..” He took a step forward. “You’ll be begging for his mercy.”

Fear flashed over his classmate’s face. The boy averted his eyes before slowly backing away. “You’re not worth my time.”

“And you’re not worth mine.”

The boy glared at him but soon turned on his heel and walked away. Jungkook didn’t know how to process everything that just happened. He let out a long sigh and peeked out towards the street to see if they both had truly left. He saw that the coast was clear and speed walked to the store. He desperately wanted to get off the streets and inside. But he realized he must’ve looked insane as he walked in the store, immediately getting odd looks from middle aged woman. A little boy glanced up at him and pointed to his mouth. He apologized to the boy’s mother and asked an employee if there was a bathroom he could use. The employee looked him over with her lips pulled into a straight line.

“Sorry we don’t have a restroom open for the public.” The girl’s voice sounded nice enough but he could feel the judgement.

He thanked the employee anyway and told her he was there to get a new phone. She was more eager to speak to him about business and he was grateful she didn’t ask him anything about his appearance or, made small talk about how his phone _“accidentally broke”_. He planned a back story on how his phone died, it being that he dropped it down a flight of stairs and it shattered. Sometimes people are chatty so he figured it was better to be over prepared than not at all.

The process took awhile. He had to sign a lot of things and picking out a phone took longer than he thought because he ended up being pulled into a deal with one of the newer released phones. They even charged the phone and set up some technical things with him. He could sense the employee felt bad for him and gave him a little extra help. After what felt like hours it was done and he finally had a new phone. He paid and was about to leave but was stopped by the girl who helped him.

“We aren’t allowed to let customers in the back but would you like to clean up in the employee's restroom?” She asked shyly.

Jungkook nodded his head. “Yes please.”

The girl lead him through an _“employees only”_ door and down a short hallway. She gestured towards a door and told him he could go right inside. The girl lingered and he waited knowing she obviously wanted to say something.

“We go to the same college.”

“ _Oh_..” It now made sense to him.

“That’s why I was a bit weird, sorry. We don’t have any classes together but I actually read the _Real Me_ webtoon from the art club so I know you do the art on that.”

“Ah, thanks for reading it.” He said awkwardly.

“I’m sorry about what happened. The more I thought about it too I figured the bloody mouth had something to do with some idiots from college- I mean I don’t want to butt in or anything but.. I’m just sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, it wasn’t you who punched me.” He smiled.

“But..” The girl looked away guilty. “A friend of mine was saying mean things about you today and I didn’t say anything to make her stop. It wasn’t right.” She frowned.

“It’s hard to stand up to people sometimes. I get it. But if you see me on campus, say hi ok? It’s a different way to stand up to people because nobody wants to talk to the gay kid.”

“I’ll definitely say hi.” She smiled happily.

The girl walked away with a wave and Jungkook went into the bathroom to clean up. He was not expecting to see the amount of dried blood on his chin and right away turned the faucet on and scrubbed it off. Luckily his jaw wasn’t swelling too much yet, he only wished he had an ice pack to prevent it from getting any worse. After splashing some more water on his face and drying it off with his coat sleeve, he deemed himself suitable to be seen out in public again.

Jungkook nearly had a heart attack when he saw Namjoon waiting near the entrance of the store. He had already checked his appearance but he felt like his boyfriend would notice something was off immediately. It wasn’t like he wanted to hide what happened but he didn’t want to worry the older boy either. His boyfriend soon spotted him and walked over with a smile. But as he got closer the smile faded and a look of confusion replaced it.

“What happened?!” The older boy asked angrily.

“Hyung, let’s talk somewhere else? Please?”

Namjoon frowned but nodded. The older boy took his hand and they left the store. Jungkook was expecting Namjoon to let go of his hand but he held his hand tightly with no signs of letting it go. It felt like a big _“fuck you”_ to the homophobes who ganged up on him and he smiled at the fact that they hadn’t even talked about what happened yet but Namjoon already knew how to comfort him. The older boy ended up bringing him inside a fast-food restaurant that was close by. Jungkook told Namjoon to order some food knowing he hadn’t eaten lunch yet. They sat down after they ordered their food and Jungkook sipped on a coke. He glanced up to see the older boy looking at him worriedly so he placed his drink down and took in a deep breath.

“Two guys from college jumped me on my walk over here.”

“Those fuckers.” Namjoon scowled as he bit his bottom lip.

“They only got one lucky hit. I scared them off so it’s all fine.”

“How is it fine? They got away with it.”

“They’re mostly all talk. I brought up my protective boyfriend breaking a guy’s nose and that really did the trick. See? You protected me and you weren’t even there!” Jungkook tried to say light-heartedly.

“I wish I was there. Could have really taught them a lesson.”

“Hyung, I’m ok. My jaw hurts but I’m good otherwise.”

“You tell me if anyone else tries to pull anything like that on you alright? Like if you get threats or people bullying you. Tell me ok?”

“I will. I promise.”

Namjoon smiled at him then finally began eating his food. “So,” The older boy swallowed his food. “You going back to the apartment after the shopping?”

“No, I have a shift at the bookstore.”

“Can’t you have someone else cover you?”

“Seokjin Hyung isn’t in today so no. But I can’t really afford to keep missing work anyways. The last thing I want is to miss too much work and not have enough money for rent.”

“Right.” Namjoon nodded as he drank his soda.

They finished up and headed to a supermarket. Jungkook tried to forget about the stress of the day and focus on being with Namjoon. He could tell the older boy was a little tense but after a lot of stupid jokes and a little more hand holding his boyfriend smiled like usual. Jungkook had made a mental list of everything he wanted to buy. Namjoon followed him around the store pushing the cart, letting the younger boy be completely in charge. It ended way too quickly and he pouted as Namjoon payed for everything in check out.

The last time they went grocery shopping Jungkook still had his cast on so, this time he was able to carry a lot more bags. They walked to the car Namjoon had parked a block away and got to the vehicle just in time before the older boy dropped the heaviest bag’s contents all over the ground. They had enough time to head over to the apartment and stock the fridge together. Once inside the apartment Jungkook texted Jimin before he’d forget. Jimin answered immediately telling him to text often and that he was officially off the hook, no more assisted walks to class. He smiled at the text and looked up to see Namjoon looking through all the bags for perishables.

“Let me help. This bag has all the cold stuff.” He glided over and handed his boyfriend a loaded grocery bag.

It was oddly quiet as they put things away. Jungkook could see in Namjoon’s eyes that he was thinking deeply about something. He usually let Namjoon speak up himself but he was too impatient for that right now.

“Hyung. What are you thinking about?”

“Ah, uh..” The older boy snapped out of it but dropped a container of sesame seeds in the process. “Sorry.”

“Sorry? What for?”

“I should probably ask you about it before thinking all this stuff myself..”

“What are you talking about, Hyung?”

“Ok. Um. I don’t know how to word this but, we are already living together right now and I don’t like seeing you struggling with having to go to work after traumatic shit happens to you..“ Namjoon sighed. “That wasn't worded right. I guess I’m just really worried? And I don’t want to be the type of boyfriend who tells you what to do or how to live but.. I know it’s taking a toll on you. I mean, you say you’re fine but you were attacked today Jungkookie.” The older boy said sadly.

“I’m fine. Really.”

He stared up at Namjoon and he truly thought he had himself convinced but, Jungkook _wasn’t_ fine. All his emotions came flooding in. The fear, the uncertainty and the regret. He felt everything he was trying to hide behind, a newfound strength, but it all now fell through the cracks. He was back in that moment of terror and he cried. The older boy held him as his tears fell. He wrapped his arms around Namjoon and grasped him so tightly he wouldn’t be surprised if he bruised the older boy.

“I- I thought it was gang members sent out to kill me.” He whispered.

Namjoon didn’t respond but soon Jungkook felt his boyfriend’s body tremble and he pulled away to see the older boy now crying as well. He nuzzled back into Namjoon’s arms and cried even harder.

“I’m so sorry Jungkookie.”

“What scared me most,” He paused. “I only just said that I love you yesterday. Everything..it has only just begun and I didn’t want that to be our ending. I was so scared it was all going to end.”

“I won’t let us end in such a way. If you ever stopped loving me that would be our end. It won’t end in a death.” 

“Hyung.” Jungkook finally smiled. “I’ve loved you this long, do you really think I’ll ever stop?”

Namjoon raised his hands and held Jungkook’s face. He gently wiped away tears that stained the younger boy’s cheeks and softly smiled. "I can only hope so. I never want this feeling I have for you to leave. I’ve never felt so safe. But I’ve never felt so scared of losing someone either. I love you so much. And it feels like I’m moving so fast and I don’t want to scare you away but..”

“I love you too. So much.”

The older boy looked at Jungkook with so much love, his eyes seemed to glisten in it. Namjoon leaned down and kissed the dried tears down Jungkook’s face before softly kissing his lips. The amount of love he felt from the older boy almost made him want to cry all over again but seeing Namjoon’s smile made him smile instead.

“So, I didn’t actually ask you outright but,” Namjoon sighed nervously. “Did you want to move in? I uh, I know you’ll have to talk to Jimin about it and it couldn’t happen officially right away and um of course please don’t feel pressured to say yes or-”

“Hyung.” Jungkook smiled wide. “Yes. I’ll move in.”


	41. Never Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Packing up and covering a song in the middle of the night

All Jungkook wanted to be was a normal college student for a day. He wanted normal stress and anxiety that went with being a college student. Truthfully, he _did_ have those things but his stress went way beyond that.

It had been a week since Namjoon asked him to (officially) move in, and he agreed. He had talked about it with Jimin and his friend was happy for him. A dancer in Jimin’s department was looking for a new apartment because his rent was too high to pay alone so Jimin wasn’t worried about finding another roommate. Talking with their landlords was next in line but he figured he wouldn’t move in until mid or later next month. Again, he realized how fast time went. It was the last week in January and before he knew it spring would be greeting him.

Jungkook was currently at his apartment packing some much needed clothes. He didn’t have classes but had a shift in the afternoon so, he thought he should pack a few necessities and drop them off at Namjoon’s. It was a little weird to think that he’d have to get used to calling it “their” apartment sooner or later. Weird but definitely exciting. As he packed, the things that had piled up in the back of his mind snuck up on him. Jungkook was scared for himself but he was worried about Namjoon. Everything happening was an invasion of the older boy’s past and there didn’t seem to be an end to it. Detective Choi had asked for the person who wrote the article and was ultimately told their website was hacked and it wasn’t any of their writers who wrote and uploaded it. It was another dead end. Even after the company gave the police access to their website and information, no traces were found of the hacker. The only good news came from Detective Jung who said they were moving forward with pressing charges against Chae Dongwoo. The _amazing_ news being they finally found a couple who had witnessed what happened the day of the assault, which only strengthened their case. Detective Jung assured Jungkook and Namjoon that he was confident that Chae Dongwoo would be put away, there being no compelling angle or argument from the other side. The Detective said he wasn’t one to make promises but that he would _“right this wrong”_.

Having Chae Dongwoo behind bars would most certainly make Jungkook feel a lot more safe but he knew that criminals (especially gang members) could still hurt you even from prison. The danger of being a target was still there, maybe even heightened because he angered him further by sending him there. It was the grim reality of the situation and that was only part of the problem. There was a web of troubles they couldn’t ignore and it was taking a toll on Jungkook’s mental state. He had trouble sleeping and woke up during the night from awful nightmares. Most of the dreams he couldn’t remember clearly but the feeling of fear stuck with him like a cold chill that clung to your bones. He couldn’t fall asleep alone anymore, even naps. The only comforting thing was knowing when he inevitably woke up in a cold sweat that Namjoon would be there by his side. But Jungkook worried he’d soon suffocate the older boy with all his needs, his boyfriend losing sleep because it as well. Deep down he knew Namjoon wouldn’t feel such a way but irrationally he thought he would soon become burdensome. But he tried to ignore those feelings. He pushed them to the back of his mind where he hid them before.

Jungkook was almost done packing. He stuffed as much of his clothes that he could in a large duffle bag and other necessities in his backpack. He went to grab some of his art supplies that he used the most for the art club as a final thing off his check list. He dug through his drawer filled with extra pens and miscellaneous things and saw a card with a little pride flag in the corner. It was the card given to him from the cashier at the bakery _Coco and Co_. He picked up the card and saw that meetings were every last Sunday of each month at one in the afternoon. He stared at the card and he thought it had to be a sign. Tomorrow was the last Sunday of the month and a day both he and Namjoon were completely free. Jungkook _had_ to go, right?

He got a taxi over to Namjoon’s apartment to drop off his things. He had placed the card for the LGBT club in his pocket and he held it in his hands on the drive over. Once Jungkook dragged all his belongings into the apartment he texted Namjoon about the meeting.

 

**Me**

sent: 12:48pm

_Hyung, remember that LGBT club that nice cashier at the bakery talked about us with???_

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent: 12:50pm

_Yeah I do! Are you asking bc you wanna go?_

 

**Me**

sent: 12:53pm

_If you don’t mind???? I kinda want to do something regular but also different.. idk. I don’t make any sense lol_

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent: 12:56pm

_I think I get it Jungkookie. Everything is hectic and stressful. Doing something like this is different from all that. And might as well connect with some other LGBT ppl :) Let’s talk about it when I get home tonight! It’ll be late, sorry :(((( love you!_

 

**Me**

sent: 12:58pm

_Love you!!! See you tonight ❤_

 

Like usual, Namjoon had to work his ass off to get more days off. The older boy obviously had days off from work but he was often called in and had to do overtime more than once per week (working on more than one project didn’t help). Jungkook understood it was Namjoon’s dream job and that the nature of it would be time consuming like this but he always hated seeing his boyfriend overworking himself, especially trying to earn some free time. Namjoon loved his work too much to see it as a problem, after all that’s a lot of what the job was about, late nights and time crunches. Which was why Jungkook felt guilty about his current sleeping problems causing the older boy’s already bad sleeping schedule to worsen. He sighed as he put his phone down on the kitchen table and glanced over at his bags sitting on the living room floor. He was so tired and all he wanted was a nap but he didn’t want to come back to the apartment and put away his things after his shift, when he’d most definitely be even more tired.

He reluctantly began unloading his clothes into the closest. He smiled seeing the room the older boy made for him, even going through his clothes to get rid of things that he didn’t wear much to gain more space. Namjoon also cleared out a couple drawers in his dresser for him as well and it felt like a big step forward. After a half hour of settling in it finally felt real. His clothes hung up in the closet, his sketchbooks on the desk and favorite lotion in the bathroom. He lived here now. Not officially of course but it was in the process. However, seeing himself more in the apartment now was a feeling he didn’t really know how to explain. He just knew it felt right.

Jungkook headed out to quickly grab something to eat before his shift started. He ate something light knowing he wanted to make a dinner later that night for Namjoon to come home to (even if that was ten or eleven in the evening). He was greeted at the door of the bookstore by Seokjin who was sporting a new haircut.

“Is that an undercut?.” Jungkook winked as walked inside.

“Why yes, thank you for noticing. Someone didn’t seem to notice any changes.” The handsome supervisor yelled back towards the front counter.

“What? What did I do wrong? Do I need to monitor your haircuts so I can compliment you?” Yoohyeon asked with a sigh.

“Yes.” The oldest sighed back.

“Very high maintenance.“ Yoohyeon shook her head.

Jungkook laughed at the face Seokjin made. “I actually can’t disagree, she’s right.”

The oldest gasped. “Jungkook isn’t siding with me? What is going on in the world?”

“Oooo I think our gay baby is growing up. He can’t follow you around like a duckling forever.”

“Why not?” Seokjin pouted. “He’s the only one who never talks back to me.”

“That’s probably got a lot to do with me not wanting to see your bad side. I can only imagine how horrifying that is.”

“I swear if you start talking to me like Yoohyeon we’re gonna square off. Tall gay verses medium sized gay. Extremely handsome gay verses good looking gay. Drag queen extraordinaire versus gay bab-”

“Hyung, I get it.” He raised his hands up I’m defeat.

“Wait. I wanted to see a fight.” Yoohyeon complained.

“Jungkook go ahead and clock in. And you-” Seokjin pointed to Yoohyeon behind the counter. “Seal those lips before _you’re_ the one I fight with.”

“I’m cool with that too, the store is empty right now.”

“Yoohyeon. You better stop before he busts a vein in his neck.” Jungkook giggled.

He clocked in and the first few hours of work were spent goofing off and teasing Seokjin. The oldest joked saying he hated that he joined forces with Yoohyeon but later pulled him aside to talk as Jungkook was looking through their catalog.

“How are things?” Seokjin leaned against the table as he crossed his arms.

“Uh, good?”

“That doesn’t sound real convincing.”

Jungkook shut the catalog and knew his friend could read him like an open book. “Some things are good… while other things aren’t.”

“Do you need some time off?”

“No, thats- thank you but no. It’s fine. I just.. I’m stressed is all.”

“Is college still bad? Are kids still being little shits?”

“It’s not so bad. It’s one thing I can actually handle right now.”

“Are you talking to Namjoon about things? Remember, he’s still dense.” Seokjin smiled.

“We’ve talked about these things before. You know, the gang and all the unknown that goes along with being tangled in this mess. But I’m losing sleep because of it. I don’t know.. maybe because I know lots of changes are going to happen, bad _and_ good, that my natural response is to freak out?”

“With everything you two are going through that seems reasonable. Change is hard no matter what. When Yoongi told me you both were moving in I was surprised but it makes sense. Yoohyeon obviously loves it because she dubbed you and Namjoon as _“honorary lesbians”_ for moving in after two months.“

Jungkook laughed. “She loves the nicknames.”

“And you’re moving forward with the charges. I can only imagine how scary all that is.” The oldest placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly as he frowned. “It’s ok to be afraid. And it’s ok to be unsure of yourself. Just don’t ever think you need to hide those things. You’ll never burden anyone by feeling real feelings.”

“You.. you always know exactly what to say.” Jungkook smiled softly.

“People always tell me that.” Seokjin winked as he patted the younger boy on the back. “Now get back to work, you’ve still got an hour left.” The handsome supervisor said with a waggle of his finger.

Jungkook giggled at the fake serious voice that was used and Seokjin smiled wide at getting such a reaction. The oldest walked away and seemed to have left the room but after a moment he was surprised to hear him ask for his attention.

“Jungkook?”

He lifted his head startled. “Oh- um, yeah?”

“I wasn’t serious about the whole thing with you talking back. You are just opening up more to me, to everyone I think. And that makes me happy to see. I kinda see you like a little brother. I’m the baby in my family so I’ve never had that.” Seokjin smiled to himself. “Just know we all love you, alright?”

“Seokjin Hyung..” Jungkook felt the familiar prickly sensation behind his eyes. He tried to hold the tears in as he looked at his friend’s warm smile. “I love you all too.”

 

___________________________

 

After finishing his shift Jungkook was driven home by Seokjin, who knew Namjoon would be home late. He asked Seokjin for some possible dinner ideas, listing items he knew were currently at the apartment. The oldest suggested Jajangmyeon. Jungkook had only ever ordered it but never attempted to make it himself. They had black bean paste at home so he thought, why not? Seokjin actually offered to help make it with the younger boy but he could see his friend was tired, dark circles and all (just like Jungkook). He had asked why Seokjin was so tired. In short, he was making a series of costumes from scratch to donate to young Drag Queens who didn’t have the funds for costumes themselves. It was a project lead by Seokjin’s Drag Mom and Jungkook was floored by the generosity.

“Hyung, that’s amazing.”

“I’ve been losing beauty sleep but.. it’s worth it.”

He demanded to see pictures of the costumes and after Seokjin promised he’d flood his messages with photos his friend left the building. Jungkook spent the next couple hours working on assignments and tried not to think about how much he wanted to hold Namjoon’s hands at the moment. After he put away his books and computer he started dinner. To try to fill the space with some fun he put a playlist of songs Minghao made for him. The playlist was called _“Loud & Gay”_.

“That’s definitely Seokjin Hyung.” He said to himself as he opened the playlist.

He finished making dinner more quickly than he thought he would. Worried that it would get cold he covered the bowls and hoped Namjoon wouldn’t be too much longer. He cleaned some dishes he used and folded some laundry to pass the time. After a half hour he was giddy when he heard his phone ding, knowing it had to be his boyfriend.

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

11:32pm

_Hi baby. I’m sorry I’m running late. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it home just yet :(_

 

Jungkook frowned at his phone.

 

**Me**

sent: 11:33pm

_When do you think you’ll be home then?_

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent: 11:35pm

_I’m not sure. I usually work with Yoongi Hyung but since I’m alone right now I’m a little stuck. Don’t worry about me though!_

 

**Me**

sent: 11:36pm

_It won’t be hours and hours right…_

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent: 11:37pm

_I’m hoping not more than a few hours! But we’ll have tomorrow all to ourselves so it’s worth it_

 

**Me**

sent: 11:39pm

_I wish I could help?? Not like musically of course bc I don’t know shit about writing or producing but. Idk. I kinda wish I was there to massage your shoulders or something._

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent: 11:41pm

_If you were here I would get no work done lol. But.. I have a proposition for you._

 

**Me**

sent: 11:41pm

_Which is??_

 

❤ **Hyung** ❤

sent: 11:42

_Could you pretty please cover something for me? I could listen to it on the car ride home. Something to look forward to I guess?_

 

**Me**

sent: 11:43pm

_How can I say no > w <_

 

Namjoon sent him a YouTube link and told him not to wait up for him and to go to bed at a decent time, especially if he wasn’t back in three hours. Jungkook agreed via text but knew he’d ultimately wait until the older boy was home before going to bed. He was about to click on the link but his stomach growly reminded him that he never ate dinner. He stubbornly wanted to wait to eat as well but knew Namjoon would be upset if he didn’t. He sighed as he dragged himself into the kitchen and sat down to eat the now cold noodles. He decided to play the song as he ate and turned the volume up, having a gut feeling it’d be a slow song. Much different from the EDM and House music he was playing prior.

The soft cords of a guitar filled the apartment and it sounded exactly how loving Namjoon feels. A comforting and smooth voice began to sing and immediately the lyrics surprised him.

 

_The way to love me isn’t hard_

_Just hold me tight like you are now_

_We don’t know what will happen to us later_

_But I like that nothing’s decided_

 

It felt like he was reading a diary entry. Maybe his? Maybe Namjoon’s. But it felt close to his heart. The song continued and so did the feeling.

 

_If you start to like someone else_

_If I get used to not being with you_

_When that time comes, when the end is the only way_

_Only then, Only then_

_Whether you want it or not, I will love and be faithful to you_

_Only when I fall and cannot walk anymore_

_When that time comes, when the end is the only way_

_Only then, I’ll let you go_

 

Jungkook hadn’t realized he was crying, his food long forgotten. The words touched his soul. The words felt like they were directly from Namjoon. The older boy even telling him the previous week that he’d be with him until Jungkook stopped loving him. It made him wonder if Namjoon said it because he found this song, a song with words that described his love so perfectly. And the feeling was mutual. Jungkook wanted to hold onto Namjoon tightly, love him with his entire being and never let go. He didn’t want it to ever end, he wanted it forever.

He wiped away his tears and finished his noodles, determined to afterwards learn the lyrics and sing the song. He was worried to sing something so meaningful in such short notice but he wanted Namjoon to be able to listen to it on his ride home. He listened to the song a few times to get familiar with the melody and then tackled the lyrics. The first time he sang along to the song, then tried it by himself. He was embarrassed by the fact that he’d be sending something he barely practiced but being a perfectionist right now could only hinder him. Once he felt somewhat confident he recorded himself singing the song. He didn’t really know what else to do so he took a video of him sitting on the couch. While watching it back he wondered if having him in the video was a good idea or not. After a little thought he deleted the video and placed his phone farther away. He was still in the shot but it wasn’t nearly as close as it was before. Then he sang. He sang from his heart. He already knew the lyrics at this point, his eyes closed as he let it take over him. It was just him and his voice. No pretty guitar or harmonies. But after watching it back he knew it was perfect. It was raw just like his emotions.

 

**Me**

sent: 1:03am

_[video attached]_

_Hyung.. never let me go_

 

___________________

 

Jungkook didn’t realize he had fallen asleep on the couch. He had the TV on and was trying to distract the very obvious feeling of sleep trying to consume him. He blinked his eyes open and saw a form hovering above him. It was Namjoon.

“Shit. I woke you up.” The older boy sighed as he let go of the blanket he was previously trying to cover Jungkook with.

“It’s ok, I think I just naturally woke up.” He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

“Well, since you’re up let’s go to the bed. You can go right back to sleep, alright?”

“Mm.” Jungkook nodded and wobbled as he sat up, Namjoon now holding him upright.

“I’ll change outta these clothes and I’ll be right back.”

The older boy sat Jungkook on the bed and went to the dresser to grab some pajamas. He watched as Namjoon pealed off his hoodie and couldn’t look away from his bare beautiful back. He wished he didn’t feel so groggy otherwise he would have stood up and kissed those shoulder blades that were currently putting him in a trance. He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t be tempted to get out of bed and opened them back up when he felt a dip in the mattress. He smiled sleepily at his boyfriend who crawled up the bed and wrapped his arms around him. He could already feel himself drifting off to sleep but turned to look at Namjoon before he did.

“Hyung. Did you listen to it?”

“Yes.” Namjoon’s gorgeous smile was blinding. “It sounded like heaven.”

Jungkook woke up tangled in blankets and with a very worn out Namjoon sprawled out on the opposite side of the bed. He giggled to himself at the sight. The older boy wasn’t covered with any blanket he realized, glancing down seeing them twisted around him and only him. He felt bad thinking he must’ve pulled the blankets off Namjoon in the middle of the night. It was ten in the morning but he still wanted his boyfriend to sleep in, only getting in around four in the morning. Jungkook felt rested enough so he got up and placed the blankets over the sleeping boy before leaving for the kitchen.

Right away he noticed a second bowl in the drying rack. He smiled, happy that even if he didn’t get to eat dinner with him that at least Namjoon ate it well and he even cleaned up after himself. He put the clean dishes away and made some coffee. Now that he had the older boy all to himself he wanted to make him breakfast, especially since they missed eating with each other the night before. Jungkook didn’t get too creative, just a standard breakfast with eggs as the main dish. He sipped his coffee as he cooked and planned to wake Namjoon up after the table was set. But he heard a knock behind him and turned around startled to see Namjoon already awake.

“Making breakfast?” Namjoon’s voice was deep and scratchy, it doing something to Jungkook’s stomach.

“Yes. Um, just sit down... it’ll be ready in a few.”

“Wow. That delicious dinner and now this? I feel so spoiled.” The older boy smiled as he sat down in his seat.

“I told you I’d cook for you if there was actually some damn food in the fridge remember?” He teased.

“Yeah. I can’t be lazy about grocery shopping anymore. Especially if this is what I get in return.”

“I like it too though. I’m used to Jimin taking care of me but I want to take care of people too. Food is an easy way to do this.” He shrugged.

“You take care of me more than with food. For example, that cover.” Namjoon beamed. “It was so beautiful and I’m gonna listen to it every single day.”

“Ah, I’m embarrassed. You should let me re-do it some time.” Jungkook placed a plate and bowl in front of Namjoon.

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it because I _will_ drag you to the recording studio.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad. I had lots of fun the last time we did it. And I want to hear stuff from your mixtape you’ve been hiding. I was a little jealous that you didn’t show me that new one first before letting Minho Hyung hear it.” He poured the older boy a cup of coffee and handed it to him with a pout.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t really plan that-”

“I was petty about it for like, a minute and got over it. It’s ok Hyung.”

“You’ll hear all the tracks first when they’re finished. I promise. And we made a deal about you taking pictures for my cover remember?”

“Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that.”

“Maybe we could do that when spring comes around?”

“Sure. I’d like that.”

“I.. I haven’t seen you with your camera a lot lately.”

“Ah.. yeah.” Jungkook paused. “I use it for college but I don’t take pictures outside of assignments. At least, lately.”

Jungkook’s camera had become so forgotten in all the chaos that he forgot he used to use it to help him think. Looking at the world through a lense would give him a different perspective and sometimes it helped him realize how to approach a problem in his life. But he didn’t think taking pictures of trees or the river could help him now. He he thought it was better to leave it alone.

“Maybe you could bring it out with us today?“

“Uh, I don’t know.” He fiddled with his chopsticks.

“You don’t have to, I just.. thought I’d suggest it. It’s actually nice out today, no high windshield.”

Jungkook saw how the older boy felt awkward afterwards and thought, why not just bring the damn camera along? He could leave it in his bag if he didn’t use it. “Ok. I’ll bring it along. Just let me take some pictures of you like before?”

“Deal. Make me look cool.”

“You already look cool.” He mumbled to himself.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

Namjoon cleaned the dishes and they both got showered and dressed. Jungkook was parting his hair and saw the older boy’s reflection in the mirror behind him. Namjoon was dressed handsomely, his hair styled up and his glasses on. Jungkook almost choked on his saliva at the sight. He turned around and it got worse. Namjoon was wearing an oversized sweater with jeans much tighter than he usually wore.

“I can’t believe you’re wearing that.” He deadpanned.

“What? I look that weird?”

“Shut up. You know you’re hot. But you’re also cute today. And those jeans. Hyung. Your _thighs_.” Jungkook gazed at the older boy's thighs and gulped.

“You complained once that all my pants are loose. So, I asked Tae to get a pair for me. I knew if _I_ went shopping I’d just pick the same kind I usually get.” Namjoon laughed.

“I’m gonna have to thank Tae.”

“I already thanked him for you.” His boyfriend smirked.

“I’m going to pull those jeans off you and suck you off later. Mark my words.”

“Noted.”

They tiptoed around each other trying to finish getting ready, knowing the sexual desire for each other would only lead to them never leaving the apartment and not showing up to the meeting. The meeting place was at a café and was scheduled to begin at one in the afternoon. It was a half hour past twelve and Jungkook didn’t want to be late so they left after he put his camera in his backpack and went on their way.

Namjoon got lost as they tried to find the café. Jungkook laughed in the passenger seat as the older boy cursed at the directions he had looked up on his phone. After a few wrong turns that later turned into a few right turns, they arrived. Jungkook didn’t know what he was expecting but a very small tucked away café was not it. There wasn’t any sign that said the LGBT club was having a meeting, only a large **CLOSED** sign hung on the entrance. Namjoon asked if they got the place wrong but a moment later the door opened and they were greeted with a familiar face.

“You guys made it!” Soohyun said excitedly as she let them inside.

“Oh, so this _is_ the right place.” Jungkook laughed.

“Sorry about that. We should probably put directions on the cards since a lot people get lost their first time coming.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Namjoon smiled.

“Please, have a seat. We also have snacks if you want any. We’ll be starting once the organizer’s boyfriend is here. I could introduce you if you want.”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Jungkook looked at Namjoon for some support and he nodded.

“We’d love to meet them.”

“Well then, come with me!” She said with a sunny voice. “He actually isn’t a student like us but he founded the club during his college days.”

“That’s cool. So it’s been around for awhile?” Jungkook asked curiously.

“Around six years? But it was pretty hidden until the past couple years. This is the first year we’re having meetings open as well.”

“Oh that’s newer than I thought.” Namjoon said surprised.

She lead them towards the back of the café. “One thing I’ll say though. He’s a nice guy but don’t let his rough exterior fool you. You’ll especially see his soft side when his boyfriend is here.” Soohyun giggled.

Jungkook was extremely curious to see this person, the explanation of the man sounding a bit similar to Yoongi. He smiled at the thought and wondered if he’d be tiny like Yoongi as well. Suddenly a door behind the counter opened. A very tall man came from the back room and Soohyun waved him over. The man moved his silky black hair out of his face and both Jungkook and Namjoon stared dumbfounded.

“Detective Jung?”


	42. You Taste Like Blueberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A past crush and moving forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 42 is finally here!!! Thank you for waiting everyone! ❤❤❤❤❤❤

“You know Taekwoon?” Soohyun asked shocked.

“Could you excuse us for a moment? I need to talk to these two.” The Detective patted Soohyun on the shoulder as Namjoon and Jungkook still stood frozen.

“Sure, go ahead.”

She walked away and the three of them were left. Jungkook didn’t know how the situation ended up here. He had accidentally stumbled upon Minho before but this was so unexpected. He blankly stared at the man. He never thought he’d see his hair down and so casual, not to mention the very open button down shirt. Jungkook flinched when the Detective let out a small laugh.

“Jungkook. Namjoon. Nice to see you here.”

“Uh, yes.”

“ _So_ , I think you can connect the dots and figure out I’m gay.”

“Me too!” Jungkook raised his hand but immediately lowered it embarrassed.

“I thought so.” The Detective smiled. “Namjoon did once call you his boyfriend in front of me before so..” The man shrugged.

“I did?” Namjoon asked, clearly not remembering.

“It was in a heated moment so I think you just said it naturally. I didn’t ask you about afterwards but it made sense to me that you both were a couple.”

“This is so crazy. So we had someone from the community on our side the whole time.” Jungkook said amazed.

“About that. If you remember the first time we met at your parent’s apartment for questioning and I inappropriately asked you if you were gay.. I shouldn’t have but, I was a little more invasive because I’m gay as well. The whole thing felt very personal because of that.” The Detective scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “Of course I want to solve every single case but I was enraged because it was ultimately a gay hate crime.”

“I completely understand.” He nodded at the man.

“I’m sorry for all the times I lost my temper with you in the past. You were always doing everything you could.” Namjoon frowned.

“Oh don’t worry about that. I’m used to it anyway, comes with the job.”

Their conversation was interrupted when there was a commotion at the front door. A tall slender man was struggling to roll up a suitcase, the wheels getting stuck on the stair going up into the café. Jungkook watched as the Detective smiled and shook his head at the sight.

“I’m sorry. My boyfriend can’t enter a room without all the attention on him.” The Detective sighed as he walked over to grab the suitcase in one swift motion.

“Hey! I almost had it!” The beautiful man whined.

“Uh huh. Come over here. I’m going to introduce you to a couple people.”

“Oh, people! New members?” The beautiful man asked as he clapped.

The Detective gestured towards Jungkook and Namjoon who were still a bit awkward. Jungkook looked at the tall man and had never seen someone so pretty. His features were sharp and his skintone was a little darker than Namjoon’s. He held himself elegantly and it made Jungkook feel like he had to fix his posture to match. He was caught staring but the Detective’s boyfriend only smiled.

“Hi I’m Hakyeon, Taekwoonie’s number one.”

“Don’t call me that in front of them. They only know me as a Detective.” Taekwoon said embarrassed.

“Well, you’re more than just that Honey.”

“Uh, nice to meet you. I’m Jungkook. This is my boyfriend Namjoon.” Both Jungkook and Namjoon bowed.

“Oh! A couple! Now we aren’t the only one.” Hakyeon smiled.

“These are the people whose case I’ve been working on.” The Detective nudged Hakyeon. “I’m not supposed to discuss cases with people but I was frustrated because of the hate crime aspect I was telling you about.” He held eye contact with Jungkook and frowned. “You’re finding out how unprofessional I am I guess.”

“Detective Ju-”

“Please, call me Taekwoon outside of work.” The man said softly.

“Taekwoon.” Namjoon placed a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Just because you have feelings that are hard to separate from a case like ours doesn’t make you unprofessional. You never didn’t do your job because of it. I feel like you probably do a better job _because_ of it. When you told us you’d right this wrong, we knew you meant it. Even without knowing what we do now.”

Taekwoon’s shoulders relaxed and he nodded. “Thank you. That… means a lot.”

“Of course.”

“See?” Hakyeon pointed. “You do a great job. Listen to our new friends here.”

Jungkook smiled seeing the Detective look annoyed but full of love at his boyfriend. It was something he never thought he’d see, being so used to seeing a serious and focused version of the man. He looked up at Namjoon and gently laced their hands together. The older boy glanced over with a tender smile and it felt amazing to be in a space where they could be themselves completely with no worries of society.

Soohyun soon called that the meeting would start within the next few minutes. Jungkook noticed that the café was now filled to capacity with people. He was so caught up in talking with Taekwoon and his boyfriend he hadn’t noticed. He watched as Hakyeon rolled the suitcase towards the seating area and curiosity got the best of him.

“What’s in there?” He motioned to the black suitcase.

“Oh this!” Hakyeon answered happily. “This is part of a project I’m doing with my Drag daughter. We’re making costumes for new and young Drag Queens who need the help. I have a couple I’m handing out today at the meeting.”

“Wait.” Jungkook stopped in his tracks. “Don’t tell me your Drag daughter’s name is Miss Worldwide..”

“Oh? You know her? She’s come so far in such a short time.” Hakyeon said proudly.

Namjoon laughed. “We truly can’t escape Kim Seokjin.”

“The straights always assume us gays all know each other but it seems to be true doesn’t it.” Hakyeon giggled.

They all sat down around the chairs and tables set up in the café. It was a lot more crowded than he expected it’d be. He scooted his chair closer to Namjoon in hopes it’d help keep him calm. Taekwoon sat beside him and they watched as Soohyun and Hakyeon stood in front of the room.

“Why is Taekwoon in the back? Don’t you run the show?” Someone seated shouted out.

Hakyeon shook his head. “Don’t tease my husband. I’m the talkative one, you all know by now that I do the talking during meetings.” He waggled his finger at the seated person.

“Husband?” Taekwoon choked on his drink.

Jungkook held in a laugh as nobody else questioned Hakyeon calling Taekwoon his husband, the Detective aggressively sipping his drink trying to ignore the whole thing. Soohyun thanked everyone for coming and said that new people could introduce themselves. Jungkook gripped Namjoon’s hand nervously and his boyfriend nodded to him knowingly. The older boy stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder letting him know he could stay seated.

“Hi it’s our first time here.” Namjoon said as he scratched the back of his neck. “I’m Namjoon and this is my boyfriend Jungkook.”

“Hello.” He shyly waved.

“Oh my goodness. Fishnets boy.” A boy sqeaked out.

“F-fishnets boy?” Jungkook gawked at the boy whose face and frame were model like.

The boy happily clapped. “Hakyeon Hyung, this is the boy I was talking about that I saw before one of my performances.” The boy looked back at him and smiled wide. “I’m Eunki. But you may remember me as Marlena the Drag Queen.”

Jungkook was transported to that night in the bar. The first time he hung out with Namjoon and his friends. And of course, the first time he saw a Drag Queen perform. “I remember your performance. It was amazing.”

“Aww, thank you so much.” Eunki smiled brightly. “That was one that I didn’t choreograph though. I usually dance.”

“Ok before Eunki starts talking about the routine for his next performance, how about I pass out these costumes.” Hakyeon said with a hand on his hip.

Eunki pouted but was soon overjoyed when he was handed a bedazzled jumpsuit, perfect for dancing in. Jungkook smiled as he watched the room become a filled with laughter and conversation. He was still a little overwhelmed and didn’t join the rest of the group making their way around Hakyeon to compliment him on his work. Namjoon stayed close, never letting his hand leave his side. He glanced over to see Taekwoon still seated and was pleasantly surprised to see a small but glowing smile on the Detective’s face, the man obviously very in love with his boyfriend. Jungkook never thought he’d see such a side of the Detective but it somehow gave him a lot of peace. Seeing behind the Detective title made everything feel so much more personal. He already trusted the man but now he felt like he could finally get a good night’s sleep.

The official meeting began after lots of chatter. They spoke of donations for an LGBT shelter in the city and discussed having a donation box open at the next Drag Night the following week. Eunki told Jungkook and Namjoon that they _had_ to come (kind of like a half invite, half friendly order). Namjoon figured they had no choice anyway since Seokjin guilt tripped them for missing one of his performances earlier in the month.

An hour and a half later and the meeting ended. Taekwoon told them that most people stayed longer than the official meeting hours since the café was closed for the day anyway, so it became a temporary club room once a month. Most people sat around and chatted until they got hungry and then leave for dinner. Jungkook was a little relieved to see a medium sized group of people leave so it was a little easier to breathe in the space. Namjoon had to use the restroom so he decided to eat some of the snacks that were calling his name. He was so focused on picking out which thing to eat first that he didn’t notice someone beside him.

“Want a lollipop?”

Jungkook flinched at the chipper voice and sighed as Eunki giggled. “Ah, sure.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” The tall boy handed him a blueberry flavored lollipop.

“Uh no, it’s ok.”

“So, Hakyeon Hyung told me you know Seokjin Hyung?” Eunki asked curiously.

“Yeah. He’s actually my supervisor.” Jungkook snickered.

“Oh my gosh, you work at the bookstore?”

“You know it?”

“Yeah, totally. I used to go there all the time.”

“Used to? Why not anymore? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you since I started working there since the summer.”

“Oh, well..” Eunki laughed. “I used to go there almost every day. There was a boy I saw there once and I had a huge crush on him afterwards. I gathered up the courage one day to ask him out but he said that he wasn’t looking to date anyone.” The boy sighed. “I stopped going because I knew it’d hurt to see him again.”

“I’m.. sorry. That sucks.” Jungkook frowned.

“You know what’s crazy though?”

“What?”

“I hadn’t seen him in nearly a year, until today. He totally didn’t recognize me though but I kinda expected that.” Eunki shrugged.

“Who is he? If you don’t mind pointing him out?”

“Ah.. he’s walking this way.” The tall boy gestured behind him.

Jungkook turned around expecting to see a stranger but was instead greeted with a soft familiar smile. “Hyung.”

“You eating your snacks?” Namjoon teased.

He looked at the older boy in bewilderment and glanced over at Eunki and gulped. “Uhhh..”

The beautiful boy placed a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Don’t you worry about what I said ok? Remember, it’s been a year so I’m totally over it.”

Namjoon looked at the two in confusion. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, just a funny story I told. I should leave before I get into another conversation, I’ve got a shift.” Eunki patted Jungkook’s back and waved goodbye as he left the café, leaving no room for either to get a word in.

The older boy lifted an eyebrow as he eyed Jungkook. “I feel like I’m missing something..”

He bit his lip nervously, not wanting to spill the little reunion his boyfriend wasn’t aware of but, he was saved when Taekwoon walked over. The Detective looked serious and it made Jungkook nervous for an entirely different reason now.

“Now that the meeting is over is it alright if I speak with you two privately?”

They silently agreed and followed the Detective to the back of the store into a room that seemed like a break room. Taekwoon leaned against the wall and motioned for them to sit down. The man placed his hands in his pockets and after a few unbearably quiet moments, he began to speak.

“It worked out that we met outside of the station. I have some matters to bring to your attention towards a possible lead and it’s better that we are not in that building.”

“What do you mean..” Jungkook asked hesitantly.

“Detective Choi and I are positive that we’ve got someone with connections to the gang inside the station. My pride wouldn’t allow me to believe it but we have to look at the facts. I thank Detective Choi for finally convincing me.” The Detective sighed. “But we think we finally figured out who might be behind everything.”

“Who?” Namjoon shouted.

“The Captain.” Taekwoon lowered his head. “I feel so stupid for not seeing it. But he wasn’t in the day the evidence was stolen. That man has never taken sick day but was out the day everything went missing. It can’t be a coincidence. He’d have all the knowledge and clearance to get everything that was taken. He could easily cover his tracks and get away with it. But there’s one thing we’re missing from all this and that’s a motive.”

“Are you sure it’s him?” Jungkook had met the older man and couldn’t get it around his brain, that someone who promised to help people would do something so awful.

“No matter what it’s someone who knows the station inside and out. That’s the only way that crime was successful. And the Captain has a limited amount of ways to prove an alibi. He lives alone and none of our co-workers saw him that day. We do plan on investigating this further, looking at surveillance cameras where he lives. That will most likely involve something illegal on our part since nobody can know what Detective Choi and I are up to.”

“Wait. Are you going to steal surveillance tapes?” Namjoon asked shocked.

“What can we do? We need proof and we can’t get caught. The surveillance tapes were compromised at the station so this is the next best thing.”

“But that’s dangerous.” Jungkook felt a pit in his stomach.

“It comes with the job.”

“But even if you get proof what’s the next move? He’s the Captain. And if he’s got connections to the gang doesn’t that make him almost untouchable?” The older boy’s voice strained as fear of the unknown was the only clear thing.

“We’d contact the people above him. The Captain has a boss too. We’ve got people who can help us. The government wants gangs out of the streets and locked away just like the citizens of this city, of _any_ city in South Korea. But this is exactly why we need proof. They can’t help us if we don’t have anything to show.”

“So, what exactly are you planning?” The younger boy fidgeted in his seat.

Taekwoon crossed his arms as he stood deep in thought. “Detective Choi will be checking out the surveillance tomorrow. I’ll be asking questions regarding the laboratory. It was two places that evidence was stolen from, the station and the laboratory. We already checked surveillance there but I’ll see if any of the staff happened to see the Captain there that day.”

Both Namjoon and Jungkook nodded. The Detective sighed again as he pushed his back off the wall and paced the small room. The man eventually stared at the two younger boys and frowned.

“I’m sorry that all I can do is tell you to sit tight again. It’s times like these that I feel pretty useless as a Detective.”

Jungkook shook his head. “No, absolutely not! You’re doing everything you can and more.”

“Jungkook’s right. Detective.. _Taekwoon_ , you have already done a lot for us. And most importantly, we trust you.”

The Detective’s hard expression softened and a small smile surfaced. “Thank you..” The smile deepened.

Namjoon stood and held out his hand. “To putting evil people behind bars.”

Taekwoon grinned as he firmly gripped Namjoon’s hand and shook it. “Damn right.”

They left the café after saying goodbye to Hakyeon and Soohyun. There was still a decent amount of people who stayed behind but Jungkook was too hungry to linger around any longer. And he honestly wanted the Detective to have some time with his boyfriend before the investigation truly started tomorrow. He could only imagine the couple barely had time together considering their work schedules. Taekwoon deserved that alone time and Jungkook only wished he could give him more of it. But, unfortunately crime never sleeps. There will always be terrible people in the world and it made him that much more thankful that people like Detective Jung and Detective Choi existed.

Namjoon suggested fried chicken for dinner so they made their way to a restaurant they saw on their way over. He could smell the chicken out in the streets before they even entered the restaurant and it made his stomach rumble even more. The older boy ordered two whole chickens. But perhaps more surprisingly he ordered a beer and Jungkook looked over him confused.

“But aren’t you driving…”

“It’s for you silly. You just seem like you could use a beer.”

“If I get drunk I’ll eat your share of food you know.”

Namjoon laughed. “It’s just one beer. Unless you order more then yeah, I’ll have to hide my food from you.”

“No.. I’ll just have the one. Thanks.”

Not even a minute later a waitress came over with their drinks. Namjoon sipped on some cola as Jungkook drank his beer. Afterwards they received their heaping pile of food they ordered and dug in. It was greasy and delicious. Jungkook was grateful his boyfriend got him the beer, the food and the drink together really hitting the spot. He ate until he couldn’t anymore and giggled as he saw Namjoon struggle to keep up. He had already finished off his drink mid meal. He wouldn’t say he was feeling tipsy but he definitely felt relaxed.

His mind was slightly numb as he thought back over everything Taekwoon spoke with them about. It was nice to think about it without instantly being consumed by anxiety. But the stressful situation still loomed over him regardless. It felt like they were trapped in a never-ending maze, a labyrinth they could never escape. But things were looking up, right? Both the Detectives were finally investigating something. Whether it was a smart move to sneak behind the Captain’s back was beyond him but it was the first step to perhaps finally getting some answers. Jungkook wanted to know who was behind the anonymous caller. He wanted to know why the gang member knew his name that day in the grocery store. He wanted closure. He wanted to be with Namjoon without anymore worries of their safety. He wanted to move on.

Jungkook didn’t realize he was spacing out until Namjoon’s face was suddenly extremely close. The older boy was leaning over the table with a concerned look.

“Baby? You ok?” His boyfriend whispered.

“Uh, yeah.” He sighed. “The beer just made me a bit spacey.”

Namjoon nodded but didn’t seem convinced. “You wanna head back? You could take a nap if you need to.”

Jungkook didn’t want their outing to be over yet but a nap sounded enticing. “Maybe? Is there anything else you wanted to do before we go home though?”

“Not really. We can just chill at the apartment the rest of the night, watch a movie or something after you rest.”

“Ok. It sucks though.. I kinda wanted to go to the movie theater with you since we haven’t gone in awhile but I’d probably fall asleep.” He whined.

“It seems that I ruined your plans by getting you a beer.” The older boy frowned.

“No it’s fine! We can go next time. Promise?” He held up his pinky finger and wiggled it in front of Namjoon.

His boyfriend’s frown shifted into a cute dimpled smile as their pinkies linked together. “Promise.”

They left the restaurant full and ready to relax. The wind was picking up as the sun went down and Jungkook blasted the heat as soon as they got in the car. Namjoon turned on the radio and they drove off as the older boy hummed softly to the hook of a pop song. The older boy’s low voice threatened to lull Jungkook to sleep but he willed his mind to stay alert until they made it to the apartment. After some time he craved food again. Not something heavy like the meal they just finished but something sweet. He always had the munchies whenever he drank and he wished he had some candy on him. Jungkook stuffed his hands in his pockets in hopes he’d find gum he forgot about but let out a happy squeak when he felt the lollipop Eunki had given him earlier.

“What was that noise?” Namjoon laughed.

“Shut up. I found a lollipop.”

“Oh? Leftovers from the meeting?”

“Eunki gave it to me.”

He stared at the candy and remembered what the beautiful boy told him. He bit his lip and wondered what would have happened if Namjoon went out with Eunki instead of turning him down. He surely wouldn’t be in the car with him like he was now that’s for sure. He’d probably still be daydreaming about the older boy, never being able to move on from his one-sided love. He unwrapped the candy and stuck it in his mouth, tasting the artificial blueberry flavor. He didn’t want to think about the older boy being with another person but the thoughts wouldn’t go away.

Jungkook didn’t understand how Namjoon could turn away such a good-looking boy. Eunki was sweet as well, not shallow like you’d expect from his movie star good looks. He couldn’t help but feel jealous that the boy liked his boyfriend in the past. As stupid as it sounded, he felt inferior to Eunki even after talking with him just once. But of course many people have obviously had crushes on Namjoon like he did, it was inevitable. There was something about the older boy that made people pay attention. Namjoon would deny he had any kind of presence but it was true. There was something so charming about how he carried himself, how he spoke, how he cared. And his boyfriend surely didn’t comprehend how handsome he was when he was concentrating on a book. No wonder Eunki fell for him in the bookstore, seeing that focused gaze from Namjoon was all too powerful.

“Jungkookie?”

“Huh?” He snapped out of his trance.

“I’ve never seen you pout so hard. What are you thinking?”

“N-nothing.” He felt embarrassed that he was caught.

“That’s not gonna work on me anymore. Maybe back when we first started getting to know each other but not now.”

“Sorry..” He mumbled.

Jungkook was quiet for a few moments, not knowing how to explain himself. They very shortly arrived at the apartment and Namjoon parked but didn’t make the move to leave the vehicle. The heat was still blasted, his face now feeling chapped and dry. He reached out and turned it down and sighed as he turned to look at his boyfriend.

“Eunki told me about a crush he had. I’m just jealous.”

Namjoon looked at him puzzled. “Jealous? Why?”

“He told me he used to frequent the used bookstore and saw you there. He asked you out and you turned him down. His first time seeing you since then was today with me.”

“ _Oh_. I… don’t remember seeing him before..”

“He wasn’t surprised you didn’t recognize him.” Jungkook shrugged.

“But why are you jealous? Don’t tell me.. he still likes me?”

“No, he said he’s over it.”

“Then why?”

“I don’t know.” He looked away and stared out the window. “He’s gorgeous. And he liked you. I don’t really understand it myself.”

“It was never meant to happen with him. Or with anyone else for that matter. I didn’t realize it then but,” Namjoon grabbed the younger boy’s chin and made him look at him again. “I was waiting for you.”

“Hyung..” Jungkook’s heart swelled.

“No relationships in my past worked because I was waiting for you. Nothing felt whole back then. I was trying so hard to fill a void but then I finally stopped looking. When I stopped looking you were already there. I had no clue that the cute shy doe eyed boy who lived a couple doors down would be the love of my life but here we are.. thank god.” The older boy rubbed Jungkook’s cheek with his thumb.

“Dammit. I feel so stupid for letting nothing get to me.” He didn’t want to let Namjoon see his face but his boyfriend pulled him in closer.

“It’s alright to be jealous sometimes. I know I do.”

“You do?” He asked surprised.

“More so before we started dating but yeah. I didn’t want to ever say it but seeing you huddled up with Detective Choi on the couch in my studio was a little hard. I know it was me just being stupid so I never brought it up.”

“ _Seriously_?!”

Namjoon averted his eyes as he blushed. “Yeah. So, don’t feel bad about it.”

“Hyung, that’s so cute. And funny.” He giggled. “Pretty sure he’s straight too.”

“I know. And after getting over myself I was just happy to see you so comfortable. I know how hard being around new people can be for you.”

“Yeah..”

“And you did great today. It was way more crowded than I thought it’d be but you handled it well. I’m proud of you.”

“It was because you were with me. You’re kinda like a stress ball I take around with me everywhere. Sorry if I cut the circulation in your hand.”

Namjoon smiled. “I didn’t mind it.”

“Thank you for coming with me today.”

“Of course.” Namjoon looked at him sweetly.

“I’m not really tired anymore.” Jungkook realized.

“Really?”

“Instead of taking a nap, can we do something else in bed?” He smirked.

The older boy raised an eyebrow. “What do you have in mind?”

Jungkook glanced down at Namjoon’s gorgeous plump lips and again, he craved something sweet. He grabbed the older boy by the neck and pulled him in for a hungry kiss. All the worries slipped away and all that mattered was this very moment. Namjoon leaned into the kiss and pushed his tongue past his lips, making Jungkook melt in his seat. His body tingled as the older boy massaged his thigh, the boy's long fingers inching closer and closer to the tightness that was starting to form in his pants. Namjoon all too soon pulled away from the kiss and he whined missing the boy’s body heat.

“You taste like blueberries.” His boyfriend panted.

“Yeah?” He smiled as he caught his breath.

“Yeah.” Namjoon sighed. “We better get inside before I loose my sanity and suck your dick out here in the car.”

“O-oh ok.” Jungkook blushed.

They nearly ran the whole way up to the apartment. They were in a fit of giggles once in the elevator and tried to stay a close distance apart until they got inside. They ran off the elevator and down the hall, it felt like they were a couple of horny teenagers and it wasn’t just the beer Jungkook drank. Namjoon stopped in front of their door but didn’t immediately unlock it. He smacked the older boy on the back and whimpered.

“Hyuuung, unlock the door already. My pants are too tigh-”

He glanced over Namjoon’s shoulder and saw what his boyfriend was frozen for. A piece of paper was tapped to the door and in plain black letters it read; **Eviction Notice**.

“Wait..” Jungkook looked at the paper confused. “What is going on?”

Namjoon angrily ripped the paper off the door. “Fuck. It’s because I had you living here with me, which is against the rules. Shit. Did one of the neighbors tell the landlord..”

“So, me living here is getting you kicked out..” Jungkook felt awful.

“No, its…” The older boy sighed. “Let’s go inside first.”

Namjoon unlocked the door and kept his eyes glued on the paper. Jungkook watched his boyfriend sit at the kitchen table without taking off his heavy coat. Namjoon shook his head as he leaned back in his seat.

“This is my fault. I should’ve talked with my landlord earlier about you living here instead of just doing it behind their back. Basically this says I’ve been cheating them out of money by having another person here. And they know it was two different times that I had someone here for more than what’s permitted. The best part being… we’ve got one week to move out.”

“ _What_?!” Jungkook shouted. “That’s ridiculous!”

“I’m sorry. I just keep adding stress on you huh.”

“Hyung. I’ll get mad if you keep blaming yourself.” He said sternly.

Namjoon gulped then nodded. “Ok.”

“So, what do we do? Can’t we talk to the landlord about this? Maybe even explain all the police stuff to get some sympathy? I don’t care if we have to do something like that if it’d help.”

“It might just piss them off if we try that. I broke the rules, twice. They’ll just see it like that no matter how much we explain ourselves.”

“That seems pretty heartless.”

“That must be the criteria for being a landlord.”

Jungkook cracked a smile. “I think so.”

“I guess we’re moving then?” Namjoon laughed.

“In a week?”

“Shit. Yeah. I need to hire a realtor..” The older boy ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll research some people tonight and call in the morning. Maybe we can get something bigger? This place is pretty small right?”

“We’re really doing this.” Jungkook said dumbfounded.

“Unfortunately we don’t have much of a choice. But we’ll be fine.”

“We always find a way don’t we?” Jungkook walked over to the older boy and took the paper out of hands. He leaned over and grasped the older boy's gentle hands and pulled them to his lips to softly kiss them. "Right?"

Namjoon gazed at him with a tender smile. “Yeah. We do.”


	43. Times Like These

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgotten secrets and trust issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The long awaited chapter 43... sorry guys!!!!! 
> 
> I've had a new job since early December that has been sucking away all my energy (and free time). I hope I don't have a three month hiatus again, I'll write whenever I can everyone!!! 
> 
> Enjoy ❤

Jungkook surprisingly had a good night’s sleep. He woke up to his alarm going off and the feeling of something heavy on his chest. He blinked his eyes open and saw Namjoon cuddled against him fast asleep, even with the alarm still blasting. He quickly reached out to grab his phone and turned off the obnoxious sound. He was afraid his movements would wake the older boy but Namjoon’s eyes were still closed shut, his pretty eyelashes casting a shadow on his cheeks. Jungkook forgot about having to get ready for class and got lost in his boyfriend’s sleeping beauty.

It stumped him, how could Namjoon go from looking so strong and handsome to so vulnerable and soft so effortlessly? It undeniably kept him on his toes. Would he wake up to a sexy Namjoon sweetly waking him up or a flustered Namjoon trying to surprise him with a full breakfast? He could never guess it but it made it that much more fun to see what side of the boy he’d be greeted with each morning.

The way the older boy was drapped over him made him feel important. All of Namjoon’s walls were down with him and it was a privilege to say the least. Even in Namjoon’s sleeping form he could feel the trust his boyfriend had in him. The way his fingers curled into the fabric of Jungkook’s pajama shirt and the sound of him softly breathing against his chest. It wasn’t just love but trust. And that was what made them so close, he thought. They had trusted in each other for awhile now which only strengthened their relationship from the start. It made him mad at himself for keeping things from Namjoon when he was insecure. Even if he thought things weren’t worth fussing over, even if he didn’t trust himself or things around him, he could always trust in Namjoon.

Jungkook wished he could stay in bed all day with the older boy. He softly caressed Namjoon’s cheek and his brows furrowed after a few moments. He expected his boyfriend to wake up but he only nuzzled his head more into his chest. He swore this was the cutest he’d ever seen Namjoon and all he wanted to do was litter the sleeping boy’s face with kisses. But the boy’s brows looked tense now, the peaceful look gone. He frowned as he remembered seeing that same face from the night before.

Namjoon had frantically researched for realtors to contact in the morning. The older boy didn’t say it but, he was stressed. It didn’t help that when Jungkook relayed the information to their friends that Yoongi and Seokjin were furious. Their friends meant well saying that legally the landlord couldn’t kick them out so quickly but, Namjoon didn’t want to hear it. He said he knew but he didn’t care, that he just wanted to leave. But even if he wanted to leave that didn’t mean that it was right.

Jungkook felt a little useless when he asked the older boy if he could do anything to help. Namjoon told him he would handle looking for the apartment and Jungkook could talk with Jimin and his landlord to settle things there. He wanted to help more than that but excepted that he might just distract Namjoon anyway. Jimin was the one who found the apartment to begin with so it wasn’t like he was super experienced in that department. He ended up calling Jimin and asking him if he had time tomorrow to speak with the landlord with him. His friend told him to leave it to him. _Even the landlord couldn’t win against my charm_ , Jimin told him with confidence. So, ultimately he wasn’t of much help again.

He glanced at the time and sighed, he couldn’t let either of them lay in bed any longer. He placed his hand on Namjoon’s face again and softly called for the older boy to wake up.

“Hyung. Time to wake up.”

Namjoon’s nose scrunched up as he slowly woke up. “Mm-no.”

“But how can I give you a good morning kiss if you don’t wake up?”

His boyfriend grunted against his chest then sat up with a frown. “Ok I’m up.” He sulked.

Jungkook giggled at the older boy but his laughter was cut short as Namjoon leaned down and sweetly kissed him. It only lasted a second but he was happy to gaze into Namjoon’s warm eyes after he pulled away. Perhaps seeing those eyes was worse than a kiss that could keep him in bed. Those eyes looked at him with intent. There was love but there was also lust. Jungkook gulped as the older boy leaned in again.

“I know we don’t have the time but,” Namjoon whispered in his ear. “How many times have I told you I would suck your dick and it hasn’t happened?”

Jungkook’s face felt hot. “Uh- I don’t know?”

“Too many times Jungkookie.” Namjoon raised his head and sighed. “But it’ll have to wait until tonight.”

“Tonight?”

“It’s a promise.” His boyfriend held up his pinky finger. “Pinky promise? You know, to make it official.”

“You make it sound like a business deal.” Jungkook laughed out.

“So no pinky promise?”

He playfully rolled his eyes. “Ok ok.” He curled his pinky finger around Namjoon’s. “It’s a promise.”

They got ready as quickly as they could and rushed out the apartment. Jungkook would’ve preferred sitting down with his coffee at the kitchen table with the older boy but he had to settle for coffee on campus. Namjoon dropped him off with a goodbye kiss and promised to text him updates on the realtor hunt. Namjoon was hoping to call a realtor before he started work, not having enough time to do it at the apartment. Jungkook felt bad for letting them sleep in and taking away that needed time from the older boy. He wanted to apologize but knew his boyfriend would scold him for being too apologetic.

As Jungkook was walking to his department he was surprised to see Minghao and Mingyu waiting near the entrance. He was planning to see them later in the day since everyone’s schedule was packed that morning.

“Jungkook!” Mingyu waved.

“Guys, what’s going on?”

“Nothing. We just never meet outside the art club much.” Minghao shrugged.

“Is that right..” He glanced over at Mingyu whose face contorted. “You’re sure Jimin Hyung didn’t tell you to keep an eye on me?”

Mingyu glanced over at Minghao in panic. “Uhhh.”

“That’s part of the reason, sure.” Minghao said nonchalantly.

“Didn’t expect such a quick answer.” Jungkook couldn’t help but laugh.

“I couldn’t say no to Jimin Hyung, you gotta understand that.” Mingyu sighed.

“I overheard the conversation and swore he was talking to one of your parents.” Minghao giggled.

“He’s like my mom, dad _and_ brother all in one person.” Jungkook only now realizing that fact.

“We’ve never met your brother but I’ll take your word for it.” Mingyu smiled as he swung an arm over his boyfriend’s shoulders.

“So,” Minghao said a bit awkwardly. “I honestly don’t even know where to start in asking how things are for you? I’m overwhelmed _for_ you.”

“Can we get a coffee first before we open all that up?” He desperately needed the caffeine.

“Absolutely.” The couple said in unison.

Jungkook had a little bit of spare time before his first class started so they ordered their coffees and sat down together. He gulped his drink and regretted it when the drink burned his tongue.

“You’re gonna burn all your taste buds off.” Minghao sighed.

“Too late. Already did.” He set the coffee down on the table.

“Are you going to the police station today?” Mingyu asked bluntly.

“I’m not sure? If one of the Detectives calls then of course but I don’t really know long this could take. It’s a new lead after all.”

“Well, I hope they find something fast because I hate seeing this dragged out so long for you and Namjoon Hyung.” Minghao frowned.

“Yeah… me too.”

“And the whole moving out situation. The timing fucking sucks.” Mingyu angrily drank his coffee.

“When it rains it pours, I guess?” Jungkook shrugged.

“If you need to lay off on art club activities just let me know ok?”

“No I’m fine. Doing the drawings are kinda a nice escape from everything..”

Mingyu nodded. “Ok. But if you need any help with anything just ask.”

“Actually,” He smirked. “We’ll need all the help we can get when we move out.”

“Count us in.” Minghao smiled.

Jungkook finished off his coffee and said goodbye to his friends when he realized he would be late if he didn’t make a move on. He was happy to have some kind of normalcy in his routine for each class. He took his notes and listened diligently. He still found himself hearing a snicker here and there from strangers throughout the day. But it didn’t bother him like it had on his first day back since that incident. Jungkook knew these people judging him weren’t worth his time, especially when none of them were brave enough to ask him about to his face. He had trouble with the two homophobes but they were cowards who thought too highly of themselves. He was lucky they left him alone since and nobody else had tried something like they did either.

He had just finished his last class and was making his way to the cafeteria to eat a late lunch. He wished he could surprise Namjoon at the studio with some food but he still felt bad about that morning and didn’t want to interrupt him if he was in the middle of something. He settled by sending a text with way too many heart emojis wishing him good luck on the realtor hunt. He was surprised with a very quick text back from the older boy.

 

 

 **Hyung** ❤

sent: 2:09pm

_I forgot to give you an update!!! I was able to set an appointment with a realtor and I’ll actually be meeting her on my break which is coming up._

 

**Me**

sent: 2:11pm

_Wow that quickly? That’s awesome._

 

 **Hyung** ❤

sent: 2:13pm

_Lucky right? Hopefully it goes well and we can look at some places right away._

 

**Me**

sent: 2:15pm

_I’ll see you tonight and you can give me all the details ❤_

 

 **Hyung** ❤

2:16pm

_Talk to you later! Love yoooou ❤❤❤❤❤_

 

**Me**

sent: 2:17pm

_Love you too :-*_

 

 

Jungkook looked up from his phone and nearly bumped into someone. He was about to apologize but smiled as he recognized the person.

“Ah-” The girl’s eyes widened.

“Hi.” Jungkook smiled as the girl he met at the phone store recognized him.

“Hi! Sorry for being in the way.” She laughed.

“Oh no, that was definitely my fault. I was texting while walking. Very smart of me.”

The girl shook her hands. “ _I_ wasn’t paying attention. Let’s just say it’s both our faults?”

“I won’t argue with that.” He laughed.

“Uh, you heading to lunch?”

“Yeah. What about you?”

“I just finished-”

A tall girl that Jungkook didn’t know suddenly appeared behind the phone store girl. She gripped the girl’s shoulder and frowned at her before looking up to glare at him.

“Sohee, what are you doing over here?” The girl faked a cheery voice.

“I’m saying hi to a friend.” Sohee said confidently and Jungkook couldn’t help but smile.

“With _him_?” The girl gestured at him.

“Yes. Did you know Jungkook’s really good at drawing?”

“Um, no?” The girl said confused.

“You should get to know him. He’s more than just some stupid gossip going around. Right Jungkook?”

“Yeah.” He said gratefully.

“Ok. Right.” The girl breathed out annoyed. “We need to head to class. Let’s go.” She said shortly as she tugged on Sohee’s arm.

“Oh.” She glanced down at her watch and nodded. “Sorry Jungkook, I got to go.”

“It was nice seeing you.”

“You too.” She waved and turned to leave.

“Ah- wait.”

“Yes?” She immediately spun around.

“Thank you.”

Her eyes softened and she smiled. “You’re welcome.”

He watched as she was pulled away by the other girl. Now he could understand why she didn’t stand up to her beforehand. But the gesture meant a lot. With everything that was going on it gave him some faith in humanity to see an almost stranger try to make an effort. Seeing people give out compassion when they won’t get anything in return was a rarity nowadays. He could expect it from his friends but thanks to the incident he could weed out the assholes. A blessing in disguise perhaps? Or maybe that’s a little too optimistic. Regardless, he was glad Sohee did what she did.

He ate his lunch in silence, reading over the notes he took in his last class. He was tired but tried to mentally prepare himself for work the next hour. He hoped seeing Yoohyeon and Seokjin would boost his energy up so he wouldn’t be such a drag. Their high energy was always infectious so he was definitely counting on it. He was nearly done with his stew when his phone began to ring. He dropped the spoon in surprise, a bit of the broth splattering on his face. He whined out in annoyance as he grabbed the phone. It was Taehyung.

“What’s up Tae?” He answered.

“Is this a bad time?” His friend sounded exhausted.

“Um, I’m finishing up my lunch. I’ve got work in a little bit but… do you need to talk?” Jungkook asked cautiously.

“Is that alright? Maybe we shouldn’t..”

“Let’s get some coffee Tae. We can talk there ok?”

“Mm.” Taehyung said weakly. “It’ll be my treat.”

They decided to meet at a coffee shop close to campus. Jungkook didn’t know what to expect from this conversation. Taehyung was busy like usual and unfortunately they hadn’t been able to hang out a lot. He felt out of the loop to begin with. He wondered if it was another meeting about them missing their workaholic boyfriends. Again, was he being too optimistic? But he needed to be, at least a little. He doesn’t want his friends to be having a hard time too.

Jungkook was shocked when he saw his friend as he walked inside the café. His friend looked worse than he sounded on the phone. When Taehyung locked eyes with him he could see a little bit of shame and it wanted to make him cry.

“Hi Jungkook.” The model’s usual tan and toned face looked puffy and gray.

“What happened?!” He sat down examining his friend.

“I look like a truck hit me right?” Taehyung laughed. “The makeup artists were pissed at me this morning. My face is a mess. It’s times like these that it’s a pain in the ass to have my face be my job..” He sighed as he drank his coffee.

“Times like these? What’s going on?”

“Drink your coffee kookie.” Taehyung motioned at the other cup.

Jungkook took a quick swig. “Alright. Now tell me. You called to talk about it didn't you?”

“This really sucks." His friend let out a low sigh. "You have so much going on and the last thing I want to do is add more stress on you. But… you’re the only one who knows about my father.”

He gulped. “Is he…” His voice trembled.

Taehyung shook his head. “No… but soon.” His friend’s eyes began to water.

Jungkook felt like such an awful person. He had nearly forgotten about Taehyung’s father being diagnosed with cancer. He was so wrapped up in his own problems he forgot about the burden Taehyung was bearing. What kind of friend was he to forget, he thought.

“He stopped going to work.” Taehyung continued. “And he won’t go to the hospital. He already looks like a corpse Jungkook.” He choked out. “I’m taking care of him as much as I can but..” Taehyung tried to collect himself and wiped away a stray tear. “He wants to talk to Hyung.”

“Oh..” Jungkook knew how difficult that would be to accomplish.

“I don’t know what to do? He told me last night that all he wanted before he died was to apologize to Hyung. How do I even spring all that on Hyung? It’s too much.” Taehyung grabbed his head in frustration.

“Tae. Listen to me.”

His friend looked up at him in tears.

“Let me tell him.”

“What? How could I let you do that for me? It’s not your responsibility.”

“I’m not sure if it would be easier that way or not.“ He fidgeted with his coffee cup.“It’s completely up to you Tae.”

Taehyung spaced out for a few moments before looking back at Jungkook. “Could I come over tonight? I’ll tell him myself but you can be there with me… if that’s alright.”

“Of course.”

Taehyung soon apologized and excused himself saying he needed to head back to his father’s apartment. Jungkook now sat alone with the two barely touched coffees. He sipped at the warm liquid and hoped everything would work out. But as he continued to drink the coffee he realized he had planned to go to the art club room before his shift. He sighed as he took out his phone and texted Mingyu that something came up. His friend told him not to worry and that they’d see each other tomorrow. He was grateful no questions were asked, just endless support. He was so damn lucky, he thought. He couldn’t ask for better friends. Which is exactly why he needed to be there for Taehyung.

Jungkook arrived at the used bookstore after finishing off his drink. He was a little early but thought he could sit in the break room until he could clock in. He was greeted by Seokjin before he even opened the door, his Hyung waving his arms all over the place as he saw him outside.

“My favorite associate!” The handsome supervisor sang.

“Hey!” Yoohyeon yelled in the distance. “No picking favorites!”

Seokjin spun around. “And no yelling in the store!” He shouted back.

Jungkook smiled, this was just what he needed. “Hi Yoohyeon.” He waved past his Hyung.

“Wow. No greeting for me huh? That’s it we’re having that fight after all.” Seokjin held up his fists and punched the air around him, sound effects and all.

“Oh my god finally.” Yoohyeon grinned behind the counter.

He raised his fists with a smirk. “You really wanna fight me Hyung?”

“Oh! Wow, look at the time. You should clock in, your shift is about to start.” Seokjin turned on his heel and speed walked towards the break room.

Yoohyeon bursted out laughing which only made it harder for Jungkook to control himself. He was in a fit of giggles until Seokjin popped back in with a serious face. For a moment he wasn’t sure if the handsome supervisor was actually angry or not but the sly smile that surfaced the next moment reassured him. Good thing the store was empty because the three of them laughed until they cried.

It was a slow evening at work. A few elderly woman who where regulars stopped by and ranted to them about anything and everything. Even Jungkook joined in and bitched about bullies which only set off one of the women again. After that chat he spent the rest of the time alphabetizing the enormous amount of books the old women donated today. It reminded him of the first time he really got to hang out with Namjoon and he couldn’t keep a smile off his face as he reminisced.

“What’s with that goofy smile?”

Jungkook turned around and saw Jimin leaning against the bookcase. “Jimin Hyung?”

“I decided to stop by instead of just texting you about it.”

“About what?”

“Remember? I talked to the landlord today?”

“Oh yeah! How did that go?”

“Too easy.” His friend smiled. “You don’t have to worry.”

“Woah… how did you manage that?”

“Honestly? I told him that you needed to be moved because of a case. I even told him to call the police station if he didn’t believe me.”

“Damn. It’s not too far from the truth I guess? Mentioning the police was a good idea.”

“You should have seen his face when I mentioned it.” Jimin bent over laughing. “He looked scared shitless.”

“Nobody wants the cops around if they can help it right?”

“That or he’s spooked they’ll find something on him? All landlords are shady to be honest.” His friend shrugged.

“Or just plain heartless.” He rolled his eyes.

“Why didn’t you guys tell them about all the police stuff? It could scare them too.”

“Hyung just wants to move on. He’s probably not in the mood to fight with them. And he seems excited looking for a new place.. for the both of us.” He blushed.

“That makes sense. Jimin nodded. “Oh look at you blushing. Too cute.” His friend cooed.

“Shut up.” He smiled.

“Alright! I’ll get out of your hair now. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

"Really? Already leaving?"

"Unfortunately. I've got assignments to work on before I pass out."

Jungkook said goodbye and Jimin happily waved to Yoohyeon and Seokjin as he left. He was glad Jimin came by instead of dropping a text. It made him miss their late night video game antics and all the times they crammed together before a test. He was going to miss living with his best friend. But he reminded himself he could still do those things and not let their closeness fade away. He was always scared of change for that reason but moving forward doesn’t mean you have to leave everything from the past behind. You take all the love and everything you’ve learned with you. Change _can_ be good.

It was time to clock out before he knew it. He threw away the trash from the day and left after the usual arguing and laughter that kept him sane in all the chaos. But before he walked out Seokjin pulled Jungkook aside asking if everything was alright. Like always, Seokjin knows all. But he couldn’t share with him what was going on once Namjoon came home. Not until everything was settled down. Even though he told the oldest boy that everything was fine, he could tell his Hyung knew better. But he didn’t pry god bless him. He knew he’d crack if he did.

The night sky was deep and dark. The stars not visible in the city but Jungkook knew they were there watching over him. The air was cold and wet, the awkward in-between of rain and snow. He had been scared of the dark since the incident with Chae Dongwoo. He was always on edge now but oddly the darkness was comforting right now. It felt like an old friend greeting him. He had always liked the night and it surprised him that he forgot that fact. He walked down the street feeling a little less bombarded by all the problems in his life. It was a familiar calm feeling. At first he didn’t know what was so familiar about it. But as he sat at the bus stop he was reminded of the moment he stopped running away from loving Namjoon. The night was Namjoon. So were the stars, the moon, and the planets. Namjoon was his galaxy. There was so much unknown in their love, so much to unfold. It would be overwhelming at times but so beautiful. So damn beautiful.

When Jungkook arrived at the apartment he was planning to text Taehyung that he could head over. But as he walked off the elevator to his floor he saw Taehyung pacing at their door.

“Tae!” He walked over quickly. “Why are you out here already?”

Taehyung stopped in his tracks. “Oh, uh.. I didn’t want to wait at a store or whatever. Sorry.”

“How long have you been pacing like that? If anyone saw you they’d think you looked suspicious.” Jungkook frowned.

“Sorry. I look crazy right?” His friend sadly laughed at himself.

“Let’s go inside.“ He placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I’ll make you some tea.”

Taehyung silently nodded as they walked inside. After setting his bag down he immediately started to make tea. He pulled out two mugs deciding he needed a warm drink himself. They sat at the table as the water boiled.

“So… when should Hyung be getting back?” Taehyung asked a little awkwardly.

“It shouldn’t be too long. Maybe a half-hour or so?”

“Good. I don’t think I have it in me to wait _hours_.” His friend sighed out exhausted.

“It’ll be ok.”

“I really hope so. I don’t want Hyung to hate me again. Even though I probably deserve it.”

“Tae how could you think that? Hyung might be mad at first but he wouldn’t hate you.”

“But I’m helping the man who hurt Hyung so much. I’m even trying to get his dying wish. I feel like I’m betraying my brother.”

“Tae..” Jungkook looked at his friend helpless.

“I hate the man for everything he has done but I’m still somehow sad he’s dying. I don’t understand it.”

“Even if he’s a terrible person he’s still your father. And you might not even be grieving for who was to you but who you _wanted_ him to be to you.”

Taehyung nodded. “I never thought about it like that…” He paused. “But I think the most frustrating part is he could have turned his life around and realized he was wrong a long time ago. Why only now? It’s almost selfish.”

Jungkook didn’t know what to do or say to sooth his friend’s worries so they ultimately drank their tea in silence. Afterwards he put the tv on to distract the both of them until Namjoon was home. It was hard to wait but after forty minutes the front door unlocked. Taehyung nearly jumped off the sofa once his brother entered the apartment.

“Oh Tae! I didn’t know you’d be coming over.” The older boy smiled.

“Sorry it’s sudden.” Taehyung faked a laugh.

“It’s fine. And you can hear the news too.”

“What news?” Jungkook asked curiously.

“We have a couple apartments to look at tomorrow.” Namjoon said proudly.

“Already?!”

“Yeah, this realtor is good with hasty moves. Exactly why I wanted her.” The older boy pealed off his coat and shoes and made his way to the fridge.

“Hopefully you guys like one you see tomorrow and get outta here. Maybe have a decent landlord too?”

“A nice apartment maybe but a good landlord? We’ll see.” Namjoon chuckled as he grabbed a water bottle off the top shelf.

“Oh shit.” Jungkook realized. “I didn’t start dinner.”

“We can just order in tonight, Jungkookie. You must be tired from college and work anyway.”

“Since I’m here, how about I order dinner? What would you guys like?” Taehyung pulled out his phone before even getting an answer from the couple.

“Uh, I don’t know? What about you Hyung?” Jungkook’s mind was at a blank.

“You can pick Tae. You’ve got good taste.” Namjoon nodded to his brother.

“Ok, I worked with an Indian model last week who recommended a good Indian place!” Taehyung left the kitchen with a hop and dialed the restaurant.

Jungkook was surprised to feel Namjoon’s head lean on him the moment they were semi alone. “You tired?”

“A little. I also wasn’t expecting Tae to be here so I’m sulking because my plans are changed.” The older boy said with an adorable pout.

“What plans?” He tried not to melt at how precious his boyfriend was.

“Well.” Namjoon inched closer. “I was gonna throw you on my bed, strip you naked then finally suck your dick.” He whispered.

“ _O-oh_.” A shiver went up his spine.

“But don’t you worry. As soon as Tae leaves tonight I’ll be doing exactly that.” His boyfriend sweetly kissed his cheek and went to join Taehyung in the living room.

Jungkook took a few moments to calm himself down before joining as well. He watched as the brothers bickered about music which somehow eventually ended up on sea life. Once the food arrived and they all began eating he figured Taehyung didn’t want to tell Namjoon, at least tonight. He couldn’t blame him on backing out. Seeing Namjoon so happy and carefree, he probably didn’t want to disturb that.

Almost a couple hours had past when Taehyung said he should probably head back. But the boy lingered instead of putting his shoes and coat on. Namjoon didn’t think much of it, teasing him for being slow but Jungkook knew what was coming.

“Hyung. I need to tell you something.”

“Hm?” Namjoon didn’t bother to look up as he took a swig of his drink.

“Hyung.” Taehyung said more seriously.

The older boy’s eyes flickered up with concern. “What’s up?”

“I… have something I’ve been keeping from you.” He frowned as he stood awkwardly.

“What.. do you mean?”

Taehyung’s mouth began to tremble. “I’m an awful brother.”

“No you’re not Tae.” Jungkook said sternly.

“Do you.. do you know something I don’t?” Namjoon looked over him and he felt guilty.

“Don’t be mad at Jungkook. Be mad at me.”

“ _What_ should I be mad about?” The older boy asked annoyed.

“My dad wants to see you. He wants to apologize.. for everything.”

“That’s it?” Namjoon sighed. “He already tried that and I just don’t want to hear it to be honest Tae. You’d understand that.”

“I know but could you maybe see him one last time?”

“Why? The last time was traumatic enough for me.”

“He’s dying Hyung.” Taehyung said in a shaky voice. “He didn’t want you to know but he has cancer.”

“W-what?”

“He wants to make amends before he dies.”

“Bullshit.” Namjoon laughed out.

“It’s true. He actually feels guilty for everything he did.”

“He decides to be a good guy when he’s dying? Does he think he’ll get into heaven if he does that?” The older boy scoffed.

“I-I don’t.. I’m not sure what he’s thinking but I’ve been taking care of him and he seems different.”

“How long?” Namjoon frowned at Jungkook.

“H-huh?” His hands shook nervously in his lap.

“How long have you known about this?”

“Uh,” Jungkook thought for a moment. “About a month..”

“A month.” He repeated flatly.

The disappointment in Namjoon’s eyes made Jungkook's heart break. “Hyung I’m so sorry.”

“I… I need a minute.” Namjoon stood up from the sofa.

He scrambled to his feet. “O-ok.”

Namjoon quietly walked to the bedroom and shut it behind himself. It took all of Jungkook’s self control to stay where he was and not go after the older boy. He knew how sensitive Namjoon was to his past and the last thing he wanted to do was force himself on the older boy when he wasn’t ready to talk yet. But the space between them made him anxious. He thought back to the morning when Namjoon was in his arms fast asleep and was terrified he ruined that peace. He was terrified he ruined that trust.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on Twitter 
> 
> https://twitter.com/Atragicgay
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading❤


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